Tolkien and Tuck: the Real April Fools

Tolkien and Tuck: the Real April Fools

Weeks ago, J.R.R. Tolkien, Wild turkey and YHC decided to pull a little April Fools Day prank on the Saturday SOB’s.  Tolkien and YHC each signed up to Q at our respective “home” sites where we site Q: JRRT @ Stonehenge and YHC @ da Vinci.  Then, on 4/1 we would show up at the other guy’s site as a surprise Q.  In the week leading up to 4/1, the faux Tuck vs. Tolkien trash talking began (primarily on Slack) on Monday as a trickle and eventually accelerated to a dull roar by Friday.  Friday was particularly brutal, with a barrage a personal attacks centering around old and embarrassing Facebook pics.  In the end it wasn’t really a fair fight, as Tolkien conveniently left a treasure trove of pics on FB for YHC to use as ammunition #selfieking #nofilter #lookatme #crazyfatkidkimjongun. Somewhere along the line a challenge was set: 20 burpees times the attendance differential for whichever of us had lower attendance at his home site.

On Saturday morning, YHC woke up early and hid Tolkien’s da Vinci weinke in 4 parts around the Blakeney AO.  YHC didn’t really think through the fact that the weinkes wrapped around pavers looked like… something illegal.  An elderly woman happened to witness the placement of one of the weinkes, causing YHC to wonder if Tolkien and company would be greeted by the boys in blue. Thankfully that did not happen.  Read more about Tolkien’s da Vinci adventure here.

After da Vinci was taken care of, it was off to the Stonehenge AO.  YHC parked in a dark corner of the Vine lot and waiting for Tolkien and the PAX to come moseying by at 0600.  Then, to the surprise of some and the indifference of others, the switch was made.  Tolkien handed off his weinke, which was nicely laminated.  One side had a nice drawing that cannot be spoken of.  Here is Tolkien’s weinke, exactly as presented and exactly as performed:

The Thang:

–          2 minutes straight WW2 sit-ups OYO @ The Vine parking lot

–          10 burpees @ The Vine parking lot… plank while wait for 6

–          10 burpees @ surface lot in front of Lochness Lake

–          Quick warmup… 20 SSH, 10 Imperial Walkers, 10 windmills

–          10 burpees @ surface lot in front of Lochness Lake

–          10 burpees @ South wall next to Lochness Lake

–          10 burpees @ West wall next to Lochness Lake

–          Mosey to base of ‘Bagpipe Hill’ Segment on Ballantyne Corp Place

START: Snyder’s Lance entrance > END: Johnston Rd Overpass bridge

• AYG run forwards up Bagpipe Hill Segment, 15 Carolina Drydocks at top. Plank for 6

(Free breakfast for whoever BEATS my 43sec Time. Strava must verify)

• Mosey to bottom of Bagpipe Hill, 15 Carolina Drydocks at bottom
• BACKWARDS run up Bagpipe Hill Segment, 15 Carolina Drydocks at top. Plank for 6
• Mosey to bottom of Bagpipe Hill, 15 Carolina Drydocks at bottom
• BACKWARDS run up Bagpipe Hill Segment, 15 Carolina Drydocks at top. Plank for 6

–          Mosey to the Premier Parking Deck closest to the helicopter-pad

I’m trying to get you kicked out of your own workplace parking lot Tuck!

• Up the stairs, down the stairs 3x. Each time at top and bottom, do 20 hip slappers on the wall (10 slaps each hand)

–          Mosey to the Ballantyne Village Parking Deck (go down the grassy hill to bottom)

• Up the stairs, down the stairs 3x. Each time at top and bottom, do 10 donkey kicks on the wall (we actually did hip slappers again)

–          If time permits: AYG sprint back to The Vine, plank for 6, 2 min WW2 sit-ups OYO

Moleskine:

Tolkien’s workout was a tough one, for sure.  The multiple rounds of burpees were not appreciated by the PAX.  Nor were the consecutive backwards runs up Bagpipe hill.  All in all it was a solid beatdown.  The most surprising thing of all was the lack of gear.  Who knew Tolkien had the chops to pull it off?

In case anyone is still reading #doubtit the attendance differential was 0.  Not that we were going to do the burpees, but would have been nice to have bragging rights.  We had 15 at each site, which, for all of our shenanigans, is about average.  For the record, Bunker had an early morning commitment or he would have been at da Vinci.

Let’s not forget that Tolkien owes Nard Dog breakfast for besting his Bagpipe Hill PR on Strava.  Lucky for Tolkien, Mario and Tuck (and a 3rd YHC can’t remember) had GPS issues.

The quote of the day had to be from Cheddar, who muttered “Why?” during COT.  That must of been rhetorical, as there certainly is no answer for that.

It was great to get out to Stonehenge.  Fun group of guys and one of the best AO’s around.  This whole thing was fun, albeit ineffective at getting more PAX to come out.  Nice change of pace at least.  Thanks to Tolkien and WT for being co-fools.

Announcements:

SOB Brolmpics – Apr 22 – Come out and compete against yourself and others