Everybody was Kung-Fu Fighting, … and it was a little bit Frightening

Everybody was Kung-Fu Fighting, … and it was a little bit Frightening

13 of F3 Nation’s toughest men from Metro, Area 51, SOBland, & Union County, gathered at Weddington High School, AO of the ‘Commitment’ Workout, to throw down for 1-hour at the infamous traveling workout dubbed … “The Black Diamond”. After a unfortunate injury to Dolf of Gastonia (possible run-in with Rocky Balboa… get better buddy), YHC was tapped to lead the BD workout, and humbly accepted the challenge of putting together an intimidating workout worthy of being classified as a BD.

YHC looked far and wide for a parking deck (or hill) of epic monstrosity akin to the Muthaship, but none was to be found in Ballantyne. After days of deliberation, YHC decided that only a coliseum with many rows of bleachers would be fitting for our F3 warriors to do battle in, and Weddington HS became the clear choice for venue. Located a whole 9 minutes off I-485 Providence Road Exit, the venue proved just far enough to dissuade any and all weak SOB / A51 whining babies PAX who wouldn’t wake up a few minutes earlier for the drive.

In the end, the 13 Warriors (hey that’s a movie!), covered 3 miles, hauling 85 lb buckets, scaled football goal posts hooked with grip ropes, climbed stairs upon stairs (684 to be exact), leaped up steep hills, carved their abs like Bruce Lee doing Dragon Flags, and still had time to limber their hips up in time for Mother’s Day, thanks to a new coupon YHC brought …. THE THERABAND!

The Thang:

5:15am Quick Warm-up: Run to faculty parking lot (butt kicks, high knees, karaoke (L&R), side-shuffle (L&R), backwards run and back to cars.

Part 1: Partner Resistance Exercises
– Partner 1 clips on resistance waist belt bands around their waist, while partner 2 holds the end of the two resistance bands attached to the belt. Partner 1 runs forward ~75 meters facing stiff resistance from partner 2 who is tugging on the bands to make partner 1 work hard. At the ~75 meter mark, reverse course, this time, partner 1 running backwards against the resistance.
– 10 dumbocrats each (merkin with one partners feet on other’s back, both pushing)
– flapjack the resistance band with other parter. Each partner goes 2x

Part 2: Quick Run to Weddington Elementary School Kids Playground area for Exercises
– Teams of 3 PAX, each start at one of three stations, performing each exercise 3X each:
1) Heavy Bucket Carry (85lbs) down parking lot and back, ~200 meters… exercise #2
2) Hanging Toes to pull-up bar touches, when relieved, exercise #3
3) Hip slappers on fence, when relieved, exercise #1

Part 3: Run to Steep Hill behind Baseball Outfield for Resistance Hill Climbs
– Each pax given a green theraband to place around ankles to increase level of difficulty to the called exercise (theraband = moderate resistance large rubber band)
1) Standing broad jump up hill with theraband around ankles, crab walk down
2) Monster Walk (forward waddle) up hill with theraband around ankles, crab walk down
3) Sideways lunge (L) up hill with theraband around ankles, crab walk down
4) Sideways lunge (R) up hill with theraband around ankles, crab walk down

Part 4: Run to the large bleachers on the football field for the main event!
– With 20 minutes remaining, each PAX will AMRAP the following cycle:
1) 10 Bruce Lee Dragon Flags on bleachers (keep your shoulder blades on the bench, hands holding bench behind your head, and slowly lift legs together up and down, while keeping them straight) … https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mf_TLDVwIs
2) Run up and down 8 flights of stairs which is the entire bleacher stands, each flight having 38 steps up… total of 304 steps up per set. Run back to the starting point on the straightaway of the track.
3) Ascend up all 20 bleacher seats in plank position, with theraband around ankles, performing a close grip push-up on each seat, without letting your knees touch the bleacher seat. Descend to the bottom via stairs.
4) Run to either goal post, and use the very thick rope to grab the thick goal post, perform 5 pull-ups. Failure to complete results in 20 chest-to-ground Spartan Race style burpee penalty.
5) Repeat sequence AMRAP until time is called. Most PAX got two full rounds in.

Part 5: Race Back & COT
– Intention was to finish off with a partner carry up the trail between the football field and the student parking lot (~299 meters) but it was too dark and there was no time left so PAX just ran from football field back to starting point up the trail.
– YHC with the takeout (so epic, YHC doesn’t remember what was said…)

Moleskin:

Great work by everyone today, YHC originally wanted to do an AMRAP within the football field area the entire time (akin to YHC’s favorite workout in F3 Muthaship Monday in Metro), but after getting the workout tour of the Weddington AO from Bratwurst at Commitment on Saturday, YHC decided another tour for SOB Pax was needed. YHC tried to keep the PAX moving the entire time, and mix in the running with strength exercises for muscles not regularly used (back, grip, and upper core). A few notable observations from the PAX….

– After doing his 10 Bruce Lee Dragon Flags, ICE9 stayed in full-on martial arts mode, by placing a jeet-kune-do kick right to the back of Tuck’s head on the goalpost rope climb/pull-up segment. Tuck claimed to have been trying to help ICE9 get up the post, and got the $hitt kicked out of himself instead! #nogooddeedgoesunpunished Now fully-recovered from injury, ICE9 looked just like a clean-shaven Chuck Norris laying some whoop@$$ out there today.

– After the workout when everyone had left, Tuck was seen staggering back to the scene of the crime (rope climb goal-posts) shadow boxing, and screaming “Damn you ICE9… wanna fight, Fight me!!!” #concussion . Lucky YHC was still around to pick up the workout coupons, and saw Tuck, guided him off the field with the pull-up ropes and chair, and drove him back to his car. Rest brother… rest.

– As was to be expected, Bratwurst and Frasier killed all the running sections of the workout today, and the bleacher climb sections. You can all thank Bratwurst for the 85lb bucket carry, which he somewhat requested, and seems to be a necessary coupon to slow the lighter fast guys down. The original intention was to carry it UP the bleachers, but better judgment won today. Brat got his first taste of mortality when he burpeed out the rope climb. After mentioning how much he liked stairs pre-workout, Frasier didn’t mention how much he liked bucket carries (62% of his body weight!). Both men were quite impressive on the resistance band pulls as well, it will be difficult to beat these Clandestine SOB Team in Fast 5 coming up!

– Snowflake gets War Daddy for the day, but despite being closer to social security benefits than a driver’s license, he wasn’t at all intimidated by the younger PAX, and was seen besting them almost all of the workout. Not that it’s any sort of accomplishment to be ahead of Mario and General (20 something year olds) in a workout.

– Turtle was dragging his partner wherever he wanted at a hare’s pace, certainly not slow and steady, during the partner resistance bands segment. It was clear that his brute strength could only be due to a genetic mutation from when he was very young… #TeenagemutantNinjaTurtle #Donatello . However, during the Bruce Lee Dragon Flags, it seems he may have gotten stuck on his half-shell as his legs and arms were flailing in the air calling for “April!”

– Being a young 24, Mario tried to jump and grab the goalpost, without using the ropes for help, only to fall flat on his butt. It reminded me of his attempt to impress the date YHC got him at the F3 5yr Party… another butt-fall. Not all was lost today, as Mario showed a lot of quickness out there, especially as he was chasing Dasher, who he has a clear man-crush on for his flag football prowess, asking him at every workout segment “Hey Dasher, will you be on my flag football team?” #brolove . No news as to whether Dasher has turned Mario down on his request, but it wouldn’t be the first time, or second time… Mario has been rejected, if so.

– Doc McStuffins was seen taking a keen interest in making sure none of the PAX was injured during each of the workout segments. If YHC heard correctly, Doc was asking “Does your head hurt (Tuck)? Does your butt hurt (Mario)? Do your lungs hurt (Wild Turkey)? …Then what’s the matter?”… to which each of the PAX replied, dude, stop playing Doctor and workout!!! Ok, maybe you have to have kids and seen the Disney show to get that one. Doc you are a beast out there… keep on doing your thang. #creepiestDocMcstuffins

– General was crushing it today, reminiscing about the days when he was an all-star player at Weddington as he roamed the campus with the ladies melting in his arms. No, YHC wasn’t referring to his years at the High School or football, the Elementary School where he was king of the jungle gym, climbing dome, swing set, and tetherball in the 3rd grade. #legendstatus

– Wild Turkey loves Black Diamond workouts… and is sure not to miss posting for them. Wild Turkey was working extremely hard on form during the theraband exercises, to strengthen his hip flexors and groin area. He must have taken YHC seriously, when I mentioned that coupon was to prepare you for your evening Mother’s Day ‘present’. Things must run differently in the Turkas household though, as YHC bagged those theraband exercises since it’s Mother’s Day not Father’s Day, and not my birthday either (Christmas is offsetting holiday) #noaction.

– YHC has been closely watching Gerber’s Strava activity, and it always seems to show him pushing a double baby jogger the same pace as most men run without one! But after seeing the man exercise today, it’s easy to see why he can do it… there are NO babies present in the jogger! Maybe buckets though… Great to finally meet you, keep up the good work.

In all seriousness, it was a pleasure to lead you men this morning, and YHC appreciates those of you who drove out of your way to Weddington High School for the workout. It was equally as great to workout again with the PAX of Union County who know exactly how to throw down at a workout! YHC looks forward to posting with you men in the near future, and thanks for sharing your amazing AO with us.

Announcements:

– Bratwurst has the next Black Diamond workout to be held in SOBland Thursday 5/12/2016 @ 5:15am at Community House Middle School. Devil’s Turn will be open that day as an option for PAX, especially if your legs need a day off…. and your arms, and your abs, and your… just kidding HB and Bunker. You guys know I love DT!

– RAGNAR Relay Trail Race: Union County PAX, get in touch with Dasher… A51/SOB/IL get in touch with JRR Tolkien to HC or be on the ‘maybe’ list, and be put on a team. First sets of teams will be formed Saturday May 14th so let me know if I have not spoken with you!!! (see A51 Weekly newsletter for links and details.

– Spartan Race Super Asheville ~9mile OCR. If you are interested, let JRR Tolkien know. Several guys are camping the night before, and racing Saturday morning. AROO!

– 5/14: SOB/A51 Community Service Day – Providence Presbyterian Church – give back and rebuild a wall! (see A51 Weekly newsletter for details)

– so many other things: F3 Dads Camp filling up fast, 75% full already, F3 Dads starting up, F3 Knights game, races galore, etc. Get involved!

SYITG
~J.R.R. Tolkien