#Backblast: Lord of The Rings Trilogy – Quest #1 The Brave… Complete!

#Backblast: Lord of The Rings Trilogy – Quest #1 The Brave… Complete!

17 BRAVE hobbits from middle Earth left the comfort of The Shire (Vine American Kitchen parking lot) at 5:15am, and headed towards Mordor to start their Quest, battling the enemies of Sauron in the gloom for one hour covering just over 4 miles. Here is their story…

Foreward

An ancient Ring thought lost for centuries has been found, and through a strange twist of fate has been given to a group of 17 men, all misfits in their own right, and known as members of F3 Nation SOB/IL.  These men must embark on an epic quest, beginning with conquering The Brave, vanquishing Stonehenge, and navigating the Cracks of Doom (no, not Frehley’s arse cheeks) in Mount Doom (The Muthaship) in order to destroy it!  Their quest to destroy the One Ring is the only hope for developing true Fitness, Fellowship, and Faith … as well as earn free beers at future 2nd F on YHC, for completion of these 3 quests.

The QUEST: Journey #1 – Fellowship of The Ring: “All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” – Gandalf

In the pre-blast, YHC promised new exercises and no merkins, and tried to deliver on both (burpee isn’t technically a merkin).  As the preferred workout style of the Brave is Obstacle Course Race Training, YHC thought it be appropriate to work on improving muscle groups key to OCR, in particular legs, back, hand muscles for grip strength, and core muscles.  Spartan Race, Battlefrog, and USMC Mud Run are all coming up quickly in March and April so strengthening more than chest and triceps through merkins to be balanced overall is key.  Also what the PAX didn’t realize is they were practicing 5 of the actual obstacles they will be faced with in a Spartan Race (bucket carry, log carry, sand bag carry, monkey bars & rig).

The THANG

1. Dynamic warm-up:  Mosy from the Vine mosey up Brixham Hill Ave to Ballantyne Corp Pl following YHC in doing high knees, butt kicks, side shuffle each side, karaoke each side, side shuffle each side, backwards run.  Stop in a grassy area for 20 SSH / 20 alternating forward leg lunges / 20 alternating backwards leg lunges / 20 slow squats.  Run to the corner of Ballantyne Corp Pl and the Fitness Trail behind Lochness for Part 1 of workout.
2. Part 1: Mini-OCR Course AMRAP (20 minutes) – PAX got in at least 3 laps
   • Break up into 4 groups, starting at different points of the course and run to the next point, repeato
   • Group 1: at far monkey bars: 10 full-length pull-ups / 10 toes-to-bar hanging crunches / 10 knee-to-elbow hanging crunches
   • Group 2: at parallel dip bars: 20 supine pull-ups (chest touches bar and full extension)
   • Group 3: at bottom of Ballantyne Corp Pl: run up hill with either (a) 65lb Home Depot Bucket (b) 2 x 20lb sandbags <underhand throw uphill> (c) 60-70lb heavy tree stump
   • Group 4: at bridge over Johnson Road: 20 hip slappers with feet on top of rail
3. Part 2: New Exercises… 20 each in-cadence
   • #1: The Elevated Mountain Climber – Feet up on seating wall in plank position, perform mountain climber both toes tapping the ground as far in-front of you for a good stretch
   • #2: The Reverse Burpee Feet Planted Wall Squat Jump? – feet stay on the ground at all times, lay back on the seating wall, sit-up, stand-up, and jump lifting knees as high as possible
   • #3: The Alternating Straight Leg Opposite Foot Grab – laying flat on your back, legs extended, reach for the opposite foot/ankle and grab it, keeping your back straight and lifting the small of your back off the ground #notacrunch
4. Part 3: Muthaship Stairs Simulation
   • Run from Lochness to the base of the Ballantyne Village Parking Deck as fast as you can
   • Run up and down the 4 story staircase 3X which is the equivalent of 1x up The Muthaship Uptown
   • AYG from Ballantyne Village Parking Deck to The Vine Parking Lot just in time for 6:15am

Naked Moleskin

• YHC had mentioned at 5:15 that PAX waiting for the 6 would do burpees waiting.  Argonaut, Heartbreaker,and Beeker who YHC has not had the pleasure of meeting before (#orbadmemory) must have thought that was the fine print to getting the free beer, and were seen doing tons of burpees, not wanting disqualification from the Quest. Thanks for showing guys and see you in the gloom.
• One-Niner looked more like a lumberjack than a hobbit this morning, carrying the log up and down the hill higher than Wingman with his hands straight up.
• “Modify as needed” is what is recommended when injury could occur. Well, Bratwurst interpreted that differently this morning when he was instructed to perform Hip “Slappers”, he went for the Hip “Crapper”, by blowing Frehley’s grade natural gas at the top of the hill where the exercise was being performed.  He might need to check his pants, and can compare notes with Pebbles if need be (reference to Slack photo earlier in week). As usual Brat was out front all day of course and took Gold Medal back to COT lot.
• Madame Tousseau went from being everyone’s daddy in most strength workouts, to an Uncle this week (congrats). He’s like the Clark Kent of F3 (without the looks or special powers) as he’ll turn into a fairly paid accountant instead of a overpaid reporter come Monday.
• Wild Turkey and Fire Hazard were one of the first to declare acceptance of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy Challenge, not because of the enticement for free beer… because they are real warriors.  YHC did notice them going pretty hard this morning, and was wondering why so much energy? It all made sense when YHC overheard them chattering about how they might not get approval from their M to leave home if a single snowflake fell this weekend #makessense.
• There was some chatter on Slack that YHC and Wingman showed strong resemblance to the hobbits Pippin and Merry, and being at a work dinner YHC could not defend himself against such comments (#hurtfeelings). Wingman had the opportunity to put up an Aragorn type performance and dispel that chatter, but instead sounded a lot like Pippin when called upon to call cadence on exercises laying flat on his back! Nevertheless, In all seriousness, as Sam is the most reliable hobbit to Frodo, Wingman is that to YHC, who would have a tough time learning all this technology without him.
• Fresh off a quest of his own, called The Black Diamond, Pebbles brought the same solid game he always does day in and day out. Noticing the successful marketing that YHC had employed this week for the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, every 3 minutes Pebbles asked a new PAX if they would buy a rhinestone necklace and matching turquoise workout headband from “his M”. YHC likes the marketing and may do it tomorrow.
• If I didn’t know better, I might have mistaken Big Tuna for Stump Hugger this morning in the gloom…. whoa! But that would have been based on him clutching the heaviest 60lb log stump with a death grip and putting a bear hug on it up and down the hill.
• The stock market may be down, but Market Timer was UP with morning wood (#TMI) as was seen crushing the hill carrying them rock hard logs. Did I read that right? smh
• Fresh off a 267 day cleanse, Outback is getting much faster, and he seems to be sneakily creeping around the PAX.  I heard him in the stairwell whispering “my precioussss”, and then it hit me that he’s looking a lot more like Sméagol nowadays with all that weight loss. Dude buy yourself a ring from Pebbles M and eat something man!
• Frehley’s looked fresh as can be today (hey he isn’t tired from writing The Maul backblast) and had company today in the Respect category as he and Van Pelt fought to be Gandalf the Grey in age and power to overcome The Brave.  Guys, the PAX has much love and prays to be as fit as you all when we are 82 years old too.
• Still nursing a bum ankle, young Mario seems to be on the road back to recovery.  Running from Lochness to the Parking deck, he blew past YHC like a rocket, it was the fastest 5 seconds I have ever seen (#thatswhatshesaid).  He did redeem himself at the end of the workout, taking Bronze medal to the COT lot.

IT was an honor to lead the PAX this morning, for YHC first Q at The Brave, and truly appreciate the hard efforts given, particularly after such great Q’s the past few weeks by Mermaid and Frazier.

Announcements:

• 2nd F Hike with Family & Picnic 1/23 Saturday @ Anne Springs Greenway (see weekly newsletter)
• Lord of Rings Trilogy continues tomorrow at Stonehenge 6am with Quest #2: The Two Towers where YHC promises a slew of new exercises sure to feel rewarding. All 17 of you Brave men are still eligible for the free booze at future 2nd F for completion of all three workouts (see pre-blast if you don’t know I am referring to: http://f3nation.com/2016/02/09/preblast-brave-stonehenge-muthaship-jrrtolkien-02122016/ )
• 2/15/2016 Muthaship Monday 5:15am workout (Uptown) – unofficial convergence. Some may clowncar from the Vine, and YHC can take a few others from Arboretum. Hit me up on Slack or Twitter @JRRTolkienF3 for more information or read the pre-blast on the link above. YHC will be sending out a real pre-blast Sunday Morning with the actual workout so look for it.