Author Archive LegalZoom

Star Wars: The Next Generation

3 pax showed up for a legal thriller in the gloom. Posse and I took a quick warm-up lap shortly before the workout, and Posse declared with certainty of a prophecy, “more will come.” Sure enough, Frack pulled in about 15 seconds later. DICCS was given, and we’re off.

  • Warm up
    • 15 ssh
    • 15 merkins
    • calf stretch
  • Starting from the Middle School entrance
    • 15 mike tysons, and run to Deal Rd
    • 15 bobby hurleys, and run back to start
    • 3 rounds
  • Moseyed to the bus parking lot… and then ran back to the entrance, as Frack hates moist asphalt.
    • Semi-partner work
    • Partner 1:exercise, Partner 2: bearcrawl to trash can and mosey back
    • 100 WWII sit-ups, 150 gas pumps, 200 dips
  • Mosey to Elementary School entrance
    • From there, Posse leds us on a brief excursion to search for new vistas for future Homecomings
  • Back to Elementary School entrance
    • Lungewalk indian run
      • Everyone lungewalks in a line
      • Person in  back does a burpee and lungewalks to the front
  • Starting at the “8” pillar at the Elementary School
    • 8 burpees, bearcrawl to every other pillar, 7 burpees, etc.
  • Mosey back to Middle School entrance
    • Jack webbs
  • Mosey back to start
    • laps across parking lot
    • 5 burpees on the first side
    • 20 speed skaters on the other
    • We got in 2.5 laps

I believe Posse and I learned quite a bit about Frack this morning, from his unique method of “sweating”, to a shocking absence of pop culture knowledge including Star Wars, Star Trek, Marvel, Twilight Zone, and maybe Rocky (don’t believe Posse got a direct answer on that one). Still everyone pushed it, though I’m quite happy to say I did not get Frack to “sweat.”

Starting to get concerned about the crowbar

5 pax gathered for a post-Christmas beatdown, including an fng (my second this week… and total). Attempted to go for a theme, but most carols are terrible for workouts and 12 days has been appropriately and roundly abused in the recent past. So, I ended up just attempting to hit one of the areas most affected by bad holiday decisions.

  • Warm-up
    •  loop around parking lot
    • 10 ssh and merkins in cadence, calf stretch, 10 potato pickers
  • Run to Middle school entrance
    • 5 diamond merkins and a half lap
    • 3 rounds
  • Run back to start- Jack Webb
    • Hammers (increments of 4)
    • Bobby Hurleys (increments of 1)
    • Bearcrawl up hill
  • Moseyed to the path
    • 5 burpees at each light
    • Run backwards between lights
  • Run to high school parking lot – Suicides/4 corners
    • Home – 20 speed skaters
    • 1st corner – 10 dry docks
    • 2nd corner – 15 wide arm merkins
    • 3rd corner – 20 squats
  • Book back to start (we were totally on time at 6:17)
  • Fuse took us out

Everyone did great, the fng was never just lying on the ground questioning his life decisions, drive by was pushing it the whole time, Glider just outright killed my weinke, and Fuse Box was generally up front, but still threatens me with a crowbar… should I be concerned?

The fng had a narrow miss on his naming as he saved one of the best/worst wedding stories I think I’ve ever heard. The group walked away settling on the name Fourscore. A few minutes later he was talking about his various anniversary dates and the mnemonics he uses to remember them, in particular his wedding date. Apparently he was married in Nagasaki on the anniversary of the atomic bomb being dropped there. Hence, with this backblast, I believe I have secured him a much better f3 name as Nagasaki (with the exception of One Star attempting to name my brother Cock Blocker Tuesday). Been trying to talk him into coming out here for probably years at this point, and I believe it helps when they don’t have to wake up before the crack of dawn to attend.


12/31 – Watchtower converges at Bushwood – Marvin Elementary

1/1 – Chiseled converges at Dromedary – Marvin Ridge High

We only bearcrawled half…

6 in attendance on a fine December evening, a few regulars and a couple candidates for the lauded Octuple.

  • Warm-up
    • lap around the parking lot, 15 ssh, 15 merkins, 15 mountain climbers, 10 potato picker
  • 10 burpees at the start of the sidewalk, 5 burpees at each lamppost, and bearcrawl between every other lamppost
  • Grab a lifting rock, one lap between each round
    • Round 1 – 15 curls, 15 presses, 20 half curls (10 up, 10 down)
    • Round 2 – 15 presses, 15 triceps, 15 goblin squats
    • Round 3 – 15 curls, 15 presses, 10 curl to press
  • Moseyed to high school steps – 3 rounds
    • 20 speed skaters at the bottom
    • lungewalk from top of the stairs to wall
    • 15 donkey kicks
  • Mosey to front of middle school – 2 rounds
    • 20 dips and a half-lap
  • Mosey back to start and finished with a bit of Jack Webb

Everyone did great work, and Big 10 even appeared to have considered doing a side straddle hop!


  • Annual Effies – 12/7
  • Downtown Waxhaw Clean-up – 12/14
  • Zin’s Beer exchange – 12/14

It takes Two

All you need for a group is more than one, and that goal was met this evening!

Started out with a short mosey and a few exercises in cadence:

20 ssh

10 potato pickers

10 merkins

Mosey over to the sidewalk leading to Transporter’s shed for a truncated version of Gerber’s burpee mile. 8 lampposts with 5 burpees at each and 10 burpees at the last lamppost for a total of 45.

Moseyed to the covered stairs; 10 merkins at the bottom, bearcrawl from the top of the stairs halfway to the doors, and run back. Repeat 3 times. In addition, Rudy strolled up on the last round to say hello.

Moseyed to the alcoves on the side of the high school to do (I think) mike tyson ladders. 10 mike tysons, run to the other alcove, 9 mike tysons, run back…

For the final event, four corners, 5 burpees at the start and after each round. First corner – 10 merkins, second corner – 15 squats, third corner – 20 plank jacks.

Moseyed back to start, and filled out the last 2 minutes with a few dips and merkins.

No announcements

No news is not good news

Supposedly there have been 2 workouts the last couple of weeks, that I have not heard a word about… but I didn’t attend… so can’t complain too much about it myself… but to restart a hopeful streak, here we go:

Started with a short mosey to the only neighborhood dead end that wasn’t a cul de sac

Warm - up - in cadence
20 ssh
10 merkins
10 mountain climbers
10 potato pickers
Mosey to picnic area - derkin walk around picnic table and 30 dips
Mosey to cul de sac - 7 burpee, run around cul de sac, 6 burpees, 
etc to 1 burpee
Mosey to next cul de sac - bear crawl around cul de sac

Mosey to start and mary until finish

Tot (triangle of trust), and Rudy took us out

Rudy put in a fantastic effort, wanted to stop by the sounds of it, but powered through to the end. Shake N’Bake pulled a Jingles this evening blasting in about 2-3 minutes after the start. Thank you both, was my first workout in around a month, did not expect to be qing it, but it was an honor to lead you both this evening 

So we all agree there was in fact a speed-bump there?

After standing alone in front of the school for ten minutes, triggering some brief flashbacks to Coolrunnings, I noticed the string of cars going to the teacher lot, so moseyed over to thankfully discover my group waiting.


Mosey to the bus loop and gave the disclaimer

SSH x25

Merkins x10

LBC x20

Potato Pickers x10

The Thang:

Moseyed to the student parking lot to begin Snake Way (Delta had a much better name, but can’t remember it, so I’ll fall back on DBZ)

Along Snake Way (absent the one we started on), there are 9 speed bumps, and adding an additional burpee for each bump. In addition, between each bump, we ran the curves, and (mostly) bear crawled the straightaways (in my defense, it looked a bit shorter in my rose-tinted memory).

From there we moseyed to the half-wall, OUTSIDE THE TRACK, delaying briefly to lunge-walk across the bridge, where did 40 dips, 15 derkins, (in cadence) 20 air presses.

Moseyed to brickyard, grabbed two bricks, and circled up. Did 20 curls, 20 presses, 20 tricep extensions in civilian count. Dropped to the ground to do 20 flutters in cadence, got back up with the bricks for 10 curls, 10 presses, 10 tricep extensions.

Started to go down trail, until it finally hit me how dark it was, so circled through a bit of wet grass to go back the way we came (another brief delay to lunge walk back across bridge), and headed back to the start.

Next was a set of suicides, run to each “speed-bump”, and do 15 squats, run back to start, run to next “speed-bump”, etc.

Finally, did a bit of planking to finish out the last minute of the workout.

Bottlecap took us out.


Thank you guys for sticking with me this morning, it’s been a few months (maybe closer to a year) since I last led a workout. It was fantastic to see everyone’s effort (particularly along Snake Way), and a always an inspiring sight. Still, just surprised the attorney managed to be more concise than the Manual.


Dromedary tomorrow at 5:30 at Marvin Ridge (Bottlecap on Q)

Bible Study on Sunday at 7:30 at Lawson Mill house – DM Bottlecap for more info