Author Archive Kirk

Last rites – Bulls on Parade

Cold morning.  Several cars in the lot upon arrival, so what would have been a great joke wasn’t going to happen.  YHC intentionally didn’t pre-blast the planned workout because it’s generally pretty awful.  Anyway, a group of 8 heard the plan and took off into the Gloom:

Thang

Partner up and run the HT Mile.

Run past the school to the fire hydrant.  Partner wheelbarrow the length of the sidewalk to the bus lot.

Mosey to the back playground.  10 pull-ups, 20 merkins, 30 Russian Twists (each side)

Mosey to the bull ring (baby track).  Burpee broad jump the turns and sprint the straightaways.

Lather, rinse, and repeat until 6:06 – then run the HT mile again.

Fin.  COT.

Moleskine

I believe everyone got in at least two, and most got in three, complete laps of the circuit.  Fewer exercise reps than normal, but the burpee broad jumps make up for it.  YHC had 3.78 miles, so not a bad day.

Talkbox came up with this workout, probably 18 months ago back when we were still unofficial #WIBHD and had a little street cred.  It was truly awful.  I think it’s +/- 1/4 mile of cumulative burpee broad jumps.  Anyway, he ran it that first time, and now, he’s missed the only two other times we did his workout.  TWO – and we’ve run several of these at least 5+ times in only 18 months – which is at least partially a function of it being the only workout that has made me curse.  Anyway, T-claps on coming up with what I considered the most awful of all the idiotic stuff we attempted, which I’ll note also included a workout that incorporated dizzy bat #beginningoftheend #jumpedtheshark #tooyoungtorememberthatHighTide.

Indulge this trip down memory lane searching for other options aka reading material (also leaving this to make searching for decent older workouts much quicker):

1. The Kirk several times
2. The Splinter – aka crapload of partner carry
3. The Double Shaft – aka Sir Lunge A lot
4. The Puddy – aka Happy High Fivers
5. My Buddy and Me
6. Cannon Call – aka Cannonball Run aka The Three Mile Murph aka Fresh Murph of Bel Aire
7. The Intimidator – set the comment record, including the underused “decided to go full retard, lion shirt?”
8. The Manmaker – the last Brushback sighting???
9. The Blue Falcon – look it up
10. Parking Lot Shuffle – Bushwood’s ill-fated attempt with 50 exercises
11. The Urologist – #itgotweird
12. The Smokey – possible SOFA WIB mileage record
13. That time Egypt called cadence
14. Modified Murphs

Sundancer messaged around 10:45 that he was “sick as a dog”.  Relaying this started a discussion on colloquialisms providing legitimacy to excuses.  Then, we all noted the missing tunes #bongos #batguanorap #SturgillSimpsonhasgrownonme.

Brushback – 1) is still alive, 2) was actually there, 3) tripped a girl walking her dog on the opening mile, and 4) never apologized for it.  She went flat on her face / stomach.  I almost got hit by a car looking back to make sure she was alright.  And Yes, that all happened in the first 7ish minutes of the workout.  Brushback was quick to note that he felt uncomfortable being judged, as he’s now accustomed to Planet Fitness’ “Judgment Free Zone”.  Despite the cocoon, we’ve noted your absence and judged you in absentia.  Surely it was Voodoo slowing you down, but maybe try the treadmill some days #lunkalarm #nailedthepullupsandwheelbarrow.  Seriously, good to have you back out for the finale!

Swiper once again pulled me around, and topped it off with a humble brag, one up.  YHC was still feeling the 8-mile run from Sunday, noting that as an excuse for being slow today, when he broke out the, “yeah, I know what you mean.  I ran 12 with Fishwrap on Sunday at 7before7 and Caffeine” #ouch.  The mind was willing today, but the body couldn’t keep up.  It almost went off the rails when Swiper nearly popped his elbow out on the partner wheelbarrow, causing YHC to nearly careen into his grundle #itgotweird.  Fortunately YHC was wearing pants, so there was no touching #nttawwt.

One Eye and Cold Cuts probably lead most of the workout.  Just an impressive Furyk-esque consistency from those two.  Appreciate both of you continuing to come out after all this time.

Gas-X with possibly the funniest (to me) line of the morning, when he said “it’s only my second time coming to this workout”.  That’s two more than most, so thank you.

Hopefully for those that posted consistency, you got faster and stronger as a result.  Hopefully there was some accountability – someone there to call you out and pick you up and drag you along when you weren’t at your best.  And hopefully, despite the at times possibly brutal / probably funny commentary, there was an unspoken knowledge that the guys there had your back.  That’s the part that was hardest to build, so the hope is that as this door closes, new ones open that are able to build upon that.  And ultimately, hopefully, several of you were driven deeper in your faith from the time spent around each other.

With the Bataan Death March (great book on the subject) of SoFa WIB, it’s been hilarious (to me) that several people have already reached out to say that they’re waiting for the come back tour.  YHC is still a believer in the workout format, but for likely a multitude of reasons, this workout never took off.  So, YHC is stepping aside, and the door is wide open for someone else to pick up the torch and carry it in another direction.

It was truly an honor and a privilege to have had the opportunity to lead this site – to fail, several hundred times over, learn, and grow as a result.  Thank you!

• Kirk

Last Call

Get your head right.  Tomorrow is it.  That is all.

Going, going…

That escalated quickly.  Really.  Anyway, here’s what 8 ish accomplished this morning:

Run +/- 0.88 miles to Foxworth (long way – all rights)

Partner 1 runs to the top of the Foxworth hill (stop sign) for burpees:  start at 12 and count down

Partner 2 performs 40 reps of one exercise:  merkins (1st), squats (2nd), knee ups (3rd)

Flapjack, continue and repeat.  Each partner should have 12 trips up Foxworth and 12 exercise stations, which works out to 78 burpees, 160 merkins, 160 squats, 160 knee ups, and +/- 1 mile of uphill sprints.

Grouped up for one final AYG sprint to the top, which left YHC a little lightheaded / dizzy, so we took the short way back up Windyrush, right on Rea to OPE for COT.

Moleskine

Somewhat aggressive pace to open (5:52 pace per the watch upon arriving at Foxworth – and yes, it’s mostly all downhill), and wow – heart rate felt like it never came down (Forget Strava).  Transitions in between running / exercises started to lengthen for everyone, but the Foxworth Forty is an unrelenting bastard.  The timing is just about perfect for equally yoked partners, so there is never a meaningful break.  YHC is still coughing up non-existent phlegm, trying to catch his breath.  Totally ready for The Smokey Mtn Relay.

Swiper and One Eye partnered up to crush all comers, and it seemed like Voodoo and Semi were behind them.  YHC held the unflappable Cold Cuts down today. MAD and Thunder Road with strong pushes at times up the hill.  Sundancer ran in, was late, turned it into SIB, and ran home.  Wait…what the…what?  ?yay running?

Anyway, the old CR on the Foxworth Strava segment was like 21 seconds, or that’s how YHC remembers it.  Multiple guys pushing it toward that goal, including Runprancer aka SIB with an impressive 24 second mark and new PR.  Anyway, YHC checks Strava this AM, and some guy that ran a bunch of 11 minute miles that day somehow posted a 12 second CR.  Not saying, just saying…or to quote Good Will Hunting, “Ya (Yankee translator, ‘you’re’) suspect!”.  Ugh.

Anyway, figure this is the best time to do this.  There are a few folks that need to be thanked for their contributions to SOFA WIB.  YHC moved south of Fairview in November of 2013 and wanted to bring WIB to A51.  The picture was a non-stop, competitive workout where everyone showed up to push and be pushed.  Skywalker was encouraging, and with Champagne, helped to start the process of site / day selection.  It wouldn’t have gotten started without each of you.  Thank you both!

The Tuesday schedule at that time, IIRC, consisted only of a running workout, a kettlebell workout, and a bootcamp in Ballantyne.  So, Tuesday it was.  A few other sites were considered (Brixx on Fairview, Landsdowne, Carmel Park, Beverly Woods Elementary), but OPE was considered to be close enough to 51 to be accessible for most pax.  It was already an existing site, yada yada yada. Day and site – done.

YHC didn’t want to start this alone, and ideally, wanted a partner to balance out at least of few of YHC’s many known weaknesses.  Driving home from the GOAT (Metro CSAUP) and noticed Talkbox, Iron Mike, and Sundancer pulling into the neighborhood one over from YHC.  Started reaching out to Sundancer at WIB one Tuesday, sent him a DM, and soon we were ready to roll.  First workout was I believe just Bushwood, Sundancer and YHC (maybe Agony or Swiper also – can’t recall).  Anyway, Sundancer was the yin to my yang (near polar opposites in many regards), and this probably wouldn’t have started or gone on this long without him.  He writes a decent BB and has my sincere appreciation.  Thank you!

We kicked around several different names, but Tiger Rag actually named it.  SOuth of FAirview WIB.

Being a site Q takes some time, but the time is manageable.  Sustaining the enthusiasm and effort level is harder.  Sundancer tired, and he reached out and passed the baton to Swiper, who has since been the co-site Q.  He’s probably also got the attendance record.  To keep it short, Thank you!

Then, despite smaller numbers, there has actually been a decent core of 7-10 that, as schedules and life allow, are regulars.  You know who you are, and you guys definitely made this worth it – Thank you!

Finally, it was good to have a few folks back to help with closing it down, fittingly SemiGloss, who knows a thing or two about beating the rush before last call.  Speaking of, next week, we open up the top shelf stuff to pass around in an “empty the bar”-type celebration.  Think fireworks, a beer mile, champagne, and a sushi boat served off the bodies of artistic little people #catfish #notashrimp.  That, or a just a meat and potatoes beat down.

See you next week.

• Kirk

Going out of business sale

Second to last opportunity, blah blah blah…you know the deal.  Post or don’t.

There were several contenders for the top 3, a few of which are tougher to do in non-DST months as the trail behind OPE is rather dark.  YHC took out a young sapling once.  And, it somehow has the ability to absorb a ton of water #loamy.  With the weather and time of year, that unfortunately eliminates a few strong contenders, including The Splinter, The Blue Falcon, and My Buddy and Me.  Checking in at #2 on the countdown is the first “official” SOFA WIB workout, The Foxworth Forty with a few slight modifications:

• Partner up (size, speed, Myers Briggs type – all valid partner selection methods) and run from Olde E to Foxworth, the long way (right on Rea, right on the darkest street in Charlotte aka Abbotswood, right on Windyrush). +/- 1 mile
• Partner 1 runs the Foxworth Hill – with burpees at the top (start at 12 and count down).
• While Partner 1 runs up and back, Partner 2 does 40 reps of each exercise: merkins (during 1st trip), squats (next), knee ups (next), then repeat in same order.

Twelve rounds gets you 74 burpees, 160 merkins, 160 squats, and 160 Knee ups (4 sets of each).

Get through all 12 rounds before 6:06, and congratulations, you get to start over.  Run back to OPE the way you came at 6:06.

Everyone should cover 3+ miles with a bunch of hill sprints.  Yes, Foxworth is a Strava segment, so push it and shoot for the CR.  Total exercise rep counts looks relatively mundane, but the super sets of 40 reps will suck out loud, especially toward the end.  YHC modified this slightly from a count up to a count down from 12 burpees, which should better align the timing of Partners 1 and 2 throughout the workout.  Otherwise, this is revisiting the first official workout of SOFA WIB.

Good luck and SYITG

• Kirk

 

Maria Maria

Saw a shirt at lunch at Viva Chicken the other day that said, “Similes are like metaphors”.  Well, we started with 3 guys and ended with 2, which is like SOFAWIB’s remaining days.  Counting down some of the better workouts of the past 18 months with #3 today, Maria Maria:

Run to corner of Rea and Rea (tight group, no burpees).  Head south on Rea toward Hwy 51.

Forward run to lit streetlight, backward run to next.  7 burpees.
Forward run to next streetlight, backward run to next.  10 merkins.
Forward run to next streetlight, backward run to next.  10 WW2 situps.

Mix in 5 Dumbocrats at each named side street.  Repeat to Hwy 51, turn around, and continue back to HT.

That’s the entire workout, in what?  5 sentences?  Anyhow, a relatively simple Weinke somehow confused the heck out of Swiper, to the point that he had to be doing it intentionally.  He bolted slightly early to make a work meeting, leaving Cold Cuts and I to finish it out.  We nearly completed it, making a few alterations to the last 1/4 mile or so to get back in time.  Still an awful workout, seemingly made worse today by nearly every single street light between Colony and 51 being lit.  Interestingly, neither Sundancer nor One Eye, both of whom contributed to the naming of this workout, were present.  WW2 situps had to deter Sundancer, and no idea if One Eye was around or not.  Probably out hiking the Appalachian trail, or something…

With a large group, fun to share the conversations / stories, but with 2-3, it seems like a violation of confidence, so that’s all for today.

• Kirk

Greatest hits countdown #3

Only 3 chances left to make your likely first, and possibly last, post to SOFA WIB.

Counting down the greatest (relative term) hits from the past 18 months.  Checking in at #3…

María María

Sundancer was proud of this one, and that pride caused him to put up a “complete it in 45 minutes and you can name it” challenge.  One Eye was the first to do it, but you can’t name a workout that way.  Too easy.  So the naming went One Eye, who got his name from his hospital name’s resemblance to a certain cyclops from Monsters Inc., to another interpretation of his moniker.  Governor Mark Sanford was a famous recent individual who thought with the little head instead of the big head, and his Argentinian mistress’ name was María.  Extra credit points for Sundancer also disliking the Carlos Santana song by the same name.

The Thang

AYG half mile to the corner of Rea and Rea (just past the HT).  Overachievers get burpees while waiting for the six.  Partner up – size / speed / conversational skills / etc. all matter.

Forward run to first lit street light.  Backwards run to next.  7 burpees.
Forward run to next lit street light.  Backwards run to next.  10 merkins.
Forward run to next lit street light.  Backwards run to next.  10 WW2 situps (you’re welcome).

At each side street, 5 Dumbocrats (equal opportunity suck).

Continue the sequence all the way to Hwy 51 and back to HT.  AYG back to Olde Providence.

Generally cover 3.6ish miles, which includes about a mile of backward running, with “a crap ton” of all of the above.  Suffice it to say, there are a lot of street lights along the way.

Likely a bit of OT involved, so plan accordingly.  Good luck getting back in 45 minutes, but that’s the goal.

See you in the gloom.

• Kirk

 

Frigid Murph

3 for a frigid Murph on Tuesday.  YHC wanted to re-run the Rock Murph, but Cold Cuts and Voodoo were having none of it.  Didn’t even entertain the suggestion, at all.

Anyway, we ran to HT and back, YHC almost run over by a car along the way, and then we got to work.  100ish pull-ups, 200ish merkins, and 300ish squats.  Ran a lap around the school cause we were bumping up against the clock.  Fin.

Ish – Cold Cuts stopped counting, as did YHC.  Voodoo counted, but no idea if he finished.  YHC felt that one midway, and again today.  The holiday post schedule (i.e. sleeping in) did not help fitness levels, at all.  Time to get back out there.  Sundancer no-showed, not that he HC’ed or anything, but that’s why there were no tunes.  Reminded us of when the music stopped on account of it being too cold last year, mostly because it was freakin’ cold on Tuesday morning.  Coincidentally, that was the last time Sundancer showed #fakenews.

Real news – after +/- 18 months, SOFAWIB is shutting down at the end of the month.  It’s too early to write the coroner’s report, or the eulogy, but with the decision made, thought it best to get the information out.  Final workout on 1/31.

Procrastinators unite – tomorrow

Title is from one of my all time favorite Far Side’s.  Look it up.  Also apt for this BB.

So, I’ve delayed this for quite some time, both a function of busyness at work and just not wanting to do it (sad really).  Anyway, here’s the last two weeks of BBs consolidated into one:

Last week:

Pax – Cold Cuts, Swiper, and YHC

Ran the block (1.4 miles).  Then 3-man grinders for a really long time.  It was monotonous, even by SOFA WIB standards.  10 pull-ups, 20 merkins, and then squats until relieved at one end.  20 dips and then core exercise at the other (LBCs, Flutters, Freddy).  Pretty sure we ran a mile at the end.

This week:

Pax – High Tide and YHC

Ran the block (1.4 miles).  Then 2-man Escalator.  Man 1 ran to playground for n pull-ups, 2n merkins, and 3n squats (n=trip number).  Man 2 did core exercise (LBCs for 3 rounds, Flutters for 3 rounds, Freddy…).  It was misty / raining, so Man 2 stayed under the overhang behind the school.  Then we ran the HT mile to close it out, adding a few sprints toward the end.

That’s it.  Mundane, normal workout stuff.  With so few people, there’s very little to report.  Kind of sad, actually.  Maybe it’s my state of mind, but I was genuinely disappointed when I rolled into the rainy parking lot at 0530 and HT was standing there with his headlamp.  In the end, I was glad that I rolled out of bed and actually posted in the cold rain.

Through a combination of injury earlier this year, trying to get back into shape for BRR (still lost both a step and endurance), cold weather, etc., YHC has been posting less frequently.  From looking at attendance everywhere, that seems to be fairly common.  Where I was generally 4 posts per week, that is down to 2-3, and one of them is this one.  Maybe serving as site Q for +/- 18 months has worn me down, but the spark / fire / excitement / joy (pick a word) doesn’t seem to be there anymore.  As such, I’ve given a lot of thought to shutting this workout down.  It’s fun to have a group of guys out there working hard while talking / cutting up / ribbing each other.  With 1-2 other guys, like the last few weeks, it’s different.  I don’t know what will end up happening with the workout.  We may move it, change days, fold it up, etc….but I know that having it has given me a push to get out there.  I need that accountability.  I think we all do.

It’s so much easier when it’s 45 degrees and raining to mail it in.  I completely get it.  The rest of the free world doesn’t understand getting out of bed on mornings like that, or 20 degrees (like tomorrow’s forecast).  For some reason, we do.  We may have slipped, forgotten, whatever…but I’d urge you to post tomorrow.  Not alone, but reach out to someone that’s also backslid a little and may need that push / accountability to get back out.

Appreciate you guys posting, even in the rain.  I needed that.

• Kirk