Author Archive Alf

Always bet on the horse that pees right before the start

A mid week audible had Geraldo asking me to Q Rock Zero.  I was do.  The last time I Q’ed the site was still a zoom workout.  A little smack talk from Benny on Friday didn’t really change the plan.  It was going to be awful either way.  But it was good to hook Benny into a Rock Zero post and back-to-back bootcamp days for him.

12 men posted up for the 7am launch.  A disclaimer was provided although BLC missed most of it as he had to find a bush on campus to take a leak.

Mosey over to see if we can possibly find some open parking lot big enough for COP.

COP – SSH, Lunges, Merkins, Mountain Climbers, Plank Jacks, & Wide Arm Merkins.

Run over to rock pile.  Grab something respectable, but not to big.  we will be moving with it.

Knock out some curls at the rock pile.

Head towards the top of 5 Knolls with stops for triceps and overhead presses.

Leave rocks at top of 5 Knolls and head to the bottom.  At bottom due 5 Burpees, 5 Romanian Dead Lifts each leg.  Run to top, do 5 Thrusters with rock and 5 Bent Over Rows with rock.  Back to bottom and repeat with sets of 10, 15, 20, and 25.

Mary while we wait on the six.  Head back to launch with some Mary stops and a Rifle carry down the block.  Drop off rocks and make it back to launch for 2 minutes of LBC, Freddy Mercury, and Dolly.



Big League Chew took full advantage off that pre-game piss (and the smallest rock of the group) and was crushing the 5 Knolls circuit.  Mermaid previously mentioned he had to bail early to make it back home as his M was heading out.  I didn’t realize early was 7:30.  I think that the time quickly got earlier as soon as he did 2 rounds and then he had to leave.

Snoopy was the horse that pulled up lame after round 2 – hope you are healing up.

I feel like there should be more to write but it’s been far to long since the workout so let’s just get this thing posted.


Your boy Chub really came through last night…

9 men posted for a Kevlar workout and the quote in the title.  After the quote we did a quick disclaimer and headed out.

Down to church lot for standard COT type things.

Run over to backroad.  First light 1 burpee, 2nd light 2x double merkin burpees, 3rd light 3x triple merkin burpees, …. 5th light 5x quintuple merkin burpees.  Jog it out to the end.

Go back with jump squats at each light.  Add a jump squat at each light.

Back down road with 1, 2, 3, 4 then 5 Get-Ups or Deck Squats at the first 5 lights then jog it out.

Mosey to hotbox for Lil Hazes, Derkins, and dips.

Mosey to hill across the street.  Triple Nickel with burpees and Mike Tysons.

Head back to launch for quick Mary and done.


Early on the short jokes started with Tiger Rag and his irritated groin stating that I resembled a marauding, sex fiend, dwarf on Game of Thrones.  I’d suggest that’s half true.

Horsehead peeled out on the Triple Nickel.  He said he had an errand to run.  Not sure if that was code for taking a dump, but TR said he had to pick up biscuits.

Orange Whip was out in front all morning even if he was complaining about the Merkins.

Big League Chew was disappointed that Triple Nickel was 5 rounds.  He’s lobbying for it to be 3.

Thanks to Orange Whip on the takeout.



Announcements – Sign up for Blood Drive and Makeshift Marathon, Half Marathon, and 10K.


Raintree laps

7 Men ran over to Rounding Run.  We did 5 loops there at various paces and directions.  On the way back we ran down Smokerise and back.  We also did a bunch of flutters.  At least some of us did.


Look, writing backblasts for running workouts isn’t that interesting.  We ran, that’s pretty much the gist.

Margo’s beard was back out, I think Margo might have been behind that beard, but couldn’t tell.  He opted for old skool High Viz vest and not the Tron vest.  I was disappointed.

Enron made it to FT for the first time since we hit Phase 2 and came to the Arbo.  He was out in front the whole time.  He also yelled “Objection” when he saw the Smokerise hill, as he didn’t remember it from before.  He was overruled.

Turkey Leg slow-paced it around us all morning as he tapered for virtual Boston Marathon.  It will be just like the Boston Marathon, except really nothing like it at all.  But the suck of running 26.2 will still be there.

Ductwork didn’t want to do any flutters.  Maybe he likes his core muscles loose and jiggly? Who am I to judge.  He did do all the running.

Prohibition said he has been slower since he left Swift.  I am not sure if that’s the FT sites fault or his own.  Doesn’t really matter, his M is a 40 under 40 superstar so he’s basically a kept man so no need to be fast.

Lex was moving pretty good for a guy who usually hitting up gear workouts and bootcamps.  He made us do excessive Merkins the other week at Cerberus.  Hopefully I was able to return an equal amount of pain.

All of you are now signed up as backups for BRR this weekend.  Keep your schedule clear.

Thanks to Ductwork for the takeout.


Old guys rule!

7 men gathered (O’Tannebaum, Cage, Quill, Smokey, Lex Luthor, McGee, & Alf) at The Matrix this morning to get a little work done.  5:30 hit, my disclaimer was a bit limited but, I think everyone got the point.  Mosey down the sidewalk to the Korean church and some nice smooth asphalt for COT.

Typical COT stuff.  Merkins, planks, Mountain climbers, plank jacks, and lunges.

Mosey down to the next neighborhood with 2 traffic circles.  Run down and around that circle with 5 burpees.  Back down to this circle for 30 merkins.  Repeat 6 times, dropping the merkins to 25, 20, ….  Burpees stayed at 5.

A little Mary and then hit the fountain on the way out for step ups and dips.

Stop at the neighborhood next to the school run down the road and 10 sit-ups at ever street until the end.   10 Heels to heaven at every street on the way back.

Back to the school playground where everyman had their own space.  5 pull ups, 10 squats, 5 times through.

A little mary finisher.


Pop Tart slotted me in to Q this AM.  First time in a while I have Q’ed The Matrix.  He said he wasn’t going to be there because he was a bum.  Or maybe he said bum knee.  Either way.

AARP cards were flying up and down the streets this morning!  Strong work by the 4 respects in the crew.  Smokey tricked McGee into less merkins during the merkin/burpee set as a way to keep up with him.  #Veteran.

I haven’t seen Quill in a some time.  Glad he’s back out after some Achilles issues and then the ‘Rona.  Made me think that I haven’t done enough on my end to pull guys back in who may be struggling with motivation post lock down.  Who else is missing from the Gloom out there.  Let’s track them down and get them back out!

Thanks to McGee for the takeout.


Iron Pax starts this week.  It’s a little warm up taster. Come out to WAMRAP on Wednesday and give it a go.



A shot at the title

11 men of somewhat questionable judgement found themselves outside a closed liquor store at 5:15 this morning…. again.

The Raintree 5K was posted on slack yesterday, so everyone knew what they were getting.  It’s an awful route and one I couldn’t pass up while we were on hiatus from the Latin campus.

Mosey down to Walmart, cut back through underbelly of the Arbo plaza and out to the backroad.  Head back to Raintree Lane and up to the light at 51.  Detailed instructions were requested as a stall tactic by several men who all clearly knew what they were here to do.  After some complaining and a few cars coming down the road we were off.  Simple enough.  All out to the end of Raintree, around the median at Providence Rd and back to the start.  Per the government satellites tracking our every move, that’s a dead on 5K.

Recover at the end, pick up the six, complain some more, do some Mary to let heart rate come down a bit.  Mosey on to ArboView Rd for a few relatively flat loops and Merkins.  Back home with 90 seconds to spare.  No one wanted to fill the time with extra burpees.


Purell told me the last night that he has a sore arse and couldn’t make it this morning.  He did not disclose the cause of the ailment.  I will let you make your own guess.  With him out I told him I had a shot at the title on the 5K.  A very long shot at best.

Unfortunately we missed the dual between Rosie and Purell on the course.  Would have been fun to watch, at least when they passed us on the return trek.  Rosie and his flowing mane cruised to an easy first.  I think he would have the Strava crown if it wasn’t for Purple Haze and Gummy stalling prior to the start.  My guess is the Garmin started the 5K clock while we were standing around answering dumb questions and gipped him out of the title.

Astro took it easy on the first down hill bomb but then took off to cruise in for an easy second.  Haze has been running strong and let me think I had a chance on the out portion, but passed me quickly on the return and crushed the hill on the way home to take the bronze (2nd in age group for the “old” category).  Turkey Leg fresh off his second false start for Boston Marathon training took it easy on me.  The thundering footsteps were close and he likely would have passed me if we had another few hundred meters at the end.

49er made his 2020 debut, straight from the couch to a speedy 5K.  Nice work brother and good to see you.  Some reminiscing about the OG BRR days of 12 man teams with TL and Gummy.  Gummy was keeping 49er close during the run.  Maybe he didn’t want to lose him again to “early work committements”

Duct Work and Fault Line followed close behind.  FYI Cheese Curd – Duct Work was not the six!  Benny and Retread rounded out the PAX with solid runs.  I think Retread wanted to pass Benny, but Benny was topless and sweat and coronavirus particles were flying into the air and it was just safer to keep a 50 foot buffer.

Nobody liked the running after that, but we had time to kill as it was an hour workout.

Virtual fist bumps and a real takeout by Astro at the end.


Good work men,



The return of the 3 headed dog

6 Men posted at Cerberus this morning for the first edition post quarantine.  Lots of pent up energy.  Solid disclaimer with the new inclusion to not touch anyone or touch anything that someone else touched.  Seemed legally binding to me.

Mosey over to the Mattress Firm which at 5:30 AM had as many cars in the lot as they do on their busiest days.  #MoneyLaunderingScheme.  SSH, IW’s, Mountain Climbers, Merkins, and Shoulder taps.

Run to a hill – 10 merkins at top, 1o burpees at bottom – three times

Some dips and walking lunges while the six came in.

Run to another hill – The enhanced triple nickel – with multiplier.  5 Jump Squats at top, 5 Monkey Humpers at bottom.  Multiply reps by the round – 10, 15, 20 , and 25 counts.  Lots of compliments from the PAX on this set.  Then do some Mary.

Run to another hill – 10 wide arm merkins at top, 10 6-inch plank jacks at the bottom – three times.  Then Mary.

Run to the parking deck for some stairs.  Enhanced triple nickel.  5 dragon flags at the top, 5 donkey kicks at the bottom.  Multiply reps by round.

A few 8-count body-builders while we waited on the 6.

Run back to cars.


First time back on the Q docket in a while and a great group of guys out there to lead.  Transporter started off crushing it but then his internal temperature hit 150 degrees with the gloves and sweatshirt so that slowed him down.  McGee wore his “tough guy, I fell off a Mountain Bike and tore this shirt” shirt.  Snowflake was all business as usual with the non-stop motor.  Apparently this was a much harder workout for Fredo than neighborhood walks with the dog.  And Taco stand walked a tight rope of wanteding to throw up most of the workout.  But he kept it under control.

Thanks to McGee for the takeout.




6 men booted up their computer in their garage or back porch this morning.  5 of them willingly took instruction from the 6th man in a 2″x3″ window on their laptop.  Looking forward to getting us back to some form of normal.

We did some awfully low mileage today at Rock Zero.  Likely a record.

Warmup:  SSH, IW, and Squats with some awkward online cadence counting.

The Thang:

5 Rounds, each round is 4 sets of 3 exercises.  40 reps of each exercise then 5 burpees.  30 reps, 5 burpees, 20 reps, 5 burpees then final set of 10 reps and 5 burpees.

Round 1:  Merkin, Goblet Squat, Freddy Mercury

Round 2:  Shoulder Press, Good Morning, WWII sit ups

Round 3:  Curl, Calf Raise, Elbow plank reverse flutter

Round 4: Tricep Extension, Romanian Deadlift, Flutter Press

Round 5:  Wide Arm Merkin, Lunge, Heels to Heaven

All that took about 63 minutes and we called it a day.


I am writing this backblast for 2 reasons.

  1. In case some PAX want to do this another day OYO during quarantine
  2. To knock at least one Waxhaw backblast off the home screen – for now.

It was some good work by all out there getting 100 reps of 16 different exercises.  No running, because running away from the Zoom meeting makes it even more weird.  Plus my neighbors think I am nuts just running back and forth down the drive way.

Thanks to Geraldo for inviting me to V-Q this week and for him and Hoover for keeping the RZ Pax going on Saturdays with the Zoom.  If all goes well this will be the last V RZ.  Plan on getting back together next week in small groups more than 6 feet apart.  Basically if Hoover can put a hand on you, your too close.

Thanks to Beaver for taking us out.


The olde faithful

A few of the regulars for WAMRAP were out of town but the Kirchoff Krew never disappoints and posted to join me on a mild morning for a not so mild WAMRAP.

6 loops which included between 10 and 35 reps of lunges/RDL’s, run a hill, Situps/Heels to heaven, elbow plank jacks, stairs, and decline merkins.  Finish early enough for a 40 burpee cool down.

Job always pushing hard to stay in front of his old man.  He did on the exercises, but Astron laid down the heat on the runs and caught back up every time.

WAMRAP the best/hardest Wednesday workout you aren’t doing.  Come out and give it a try.  Fun is guaranteed or your money back.

A fantastic takeout by Job.



Tour of the north side

Didn’t expect too many pax this AM but with the rain and the fact that a lot of guys get soft in the winter and hibernate, especially on the rainy days.

Disclaimer and launch into steady rain.  Run around campus and circle up in the original Hawk’s Nest lot.  Standard COP types of things.

Run over to the hill at the end of Raintree Ln up to Providence.  Triple Nickle up the hill with burpees and jump squats.  The rain stops so head back to cars to drop off the rain jacket.

Some mary types of activities for the core.   Then hit the track for 100m, 200m, 300m and 400m sprints with 40, 30, 20, and 10 merkins after each sprint.  We had to stay on the outside lanes so it might have been a little bit longer runs.  The Fast Twitch pax was slowly rolling along the inside lanes and clogging up the works.

Then run up to LAX field bleachers for some step ups and dips.  Back to launch and done!


Seems like the PAX never make their way up the hill on the North side of campus.  Lots of good stuff over there, you should try it.  Hops wasn’t there, but virtually complained about 3.1 miles on a bootcamp.  I Q what the PAX needs, not what the PAX wants.

Sprockets started off by making fun of the Q’s hair which is never appropriate.  Good thing he was able to back it up as he smoked through the workout.

Cobains to Geraldo who we somehow left on the track with the Fast Twitch guys.  He hung in there for some extra laps.  Hopper went to go “check on him” and then never came back to the workout.  Pro move, I guess.

Thanks to Sprockets who took us out

Sing up for Merkin/Pull up challenge





Some say its the length, some the girth, but apparently its the surface area.

…I’m talking about a lifting rock here.  What were you thinking?

7 PAX posted at Anvil.  It was drizzly even if the radar said it wasn’t, which is why Spack and Puddin showed up I guess.  Next time you wake up you can get an accurate current weather assessment by stepping outside.

The HotBox was full of Meathead Pax who don’t like getting their little fingers pruney and hair wet and messy, so we ran around to the portico in the front of the church.  Apparently that’s on the windy site of the church so we only stuck around for some SSH.  Then we grabbed some lifting rocks and headed back to the overhang by the turf mound.

20 merkins, 20 front raises, 20 goblet squats, 10 burpees.  Repeat for 3 rounds.  The run to end of road and back.

20 staggered arm right merkins, 20 OH presses, 20 tea bag squats, 10 burpees.  Repeat for 3 rounds.  The run to end of road and back.

20 staggered arm left merkins, 20 lat pulls while on your back, 20 flutter with press, 10 burpees.  Repeat for 3 rounds.  The run to end of road and back.

20 curls, 20 good mornings, 10 burpees.  Repeat for 3 rounds.  Return rock.

Mosey on past the hotbox.  Greet the Meathead PAX with 20 Monkey Humpers as close as possible to the Meatheads.

Head home.  Stop for 60 seconds while Q rolls his ankle on the curb.  Circle up for COT.

Brilleaux – quietly efficient and was usually waiting for us to finish to start each run.

Snuka – Same as Brilleaux, but slightly older.

Lorax – picked up a good skipping stone and called it a lifting rock.  He tried to sell us on its huge surface area.

Point Break – Crushing the workout and planning his VQ at Anvil in 2 weeks.  Come support him.

Spack/Puddin/Semi-Gloss  did a good amount of the reps on this workout.  I don’t think many burpees happened, but they did chose alternate exercises that were more than just mumble chatter.

Thanks to Lorax for the takeout.