Author Archive Alf

The worst Red Box movie selection ever

10 men for Rock Zero this week. It was muggy, really muggy and it didn’t take long to work up a sweat, or complaints.

Fast half mile mosey out to Rea Rd and around to the rock pile out front. Small warm up then grab a lifting rock. 25 reps of OH Press, Curls, Squats, and Merkins was the call. Some men did some of these. Repeat until the chorus of complaints was too much to handle. (4 total rounds)

With beach muscles swole, time to get the BRR portion of this workout underway. Mosey to the 5th Knoll. Start at the top for the Triple Nickel. Jump Squats at the bottom and burpees at the top. Same drill as Cerberus yesterday, but a bigger hill and with no repeat PAX might as well keep doing what works.

So that was it. 40 minutes into the hour and the PAX were sufficiently smoked. Tried some Mary at the top of 5 Knolls but no takers. Slow mosey back towards campus stopping at the house with the Mine Craft shrubbery for more Mary – no takers. Mosey back to campus with a stop for People’s Chair – a few takers. Head over to the Hot Box for water and a few rounds of Derkins, Little Haze, and Dips. Some did a few of these. Slow mosey back to launch trying to kill some time.


Skin – Triple Nickel + 5 Knolls + August humidity = official crusher of souls. T-Claps to the guys for gutting it out and finishing up the 5 hills. Not much was left in the tank after. Marge still had some pep in the step and was giving effort. Probably just should have sent him back to the launch and bring a van back to pick up the rest.

Bounce had to make a pit stop at the Red Box on the construction site of 5 Knolls. My guess is the moving selection was no good, but hanging out in there was better than another trip up the hill.

Spackler and Gummy heckled as expected.

Hoover got himself another 9 mile morning. The man is BRR ready.


Hot Coffee after the workout. Dredd on Q next week.

Prayers for Strange Brew recovering from Meningitis, Shingles, and being Canadian.

Prayers for MPG, had to put down the family dog last week.

Thanks to Hoover for the takeout.


Looks like it’s going to be a small crowd

Rolled up a little early this morning. Horsehead had already HC’ed and was there. He was bringing EE back out after a little time off and a move to the big city. Good to have him back. HH thought the crowd was going to be light based on the 5:25 showing, but by 5:30 we had 19 and 2 more met us at COT.

Mosey to short parking deck to the top and out the other side for an excessive COP to warm up. Merkins, Lunges, J-Lo’s, Wide Arm Merkins, and some other things.

Run somewhere else to a hill that is not in the parking deck for triple nickel. 5 burpees, 5 jump squats, 5x. Mary finisher.

Longer Mosey, almost lose some PAX, but they found us. Supines, Derkins, and dips around the Truliant block.

Over to big parking deck for a climb up the ramps. 2 sets of Roof Tap Burpees ™ and Merkins at the top. Peoples Chair. Head home.

Moleskine: Big crowd today with lots of diversity among the regions – which was the plan of Cerberus from the start. Doc congratulated McGee for the first time he has ever seen him complete a full range of motion burpee. Probably other good stuff happened but I didn’t get a chance to write this for a few days so I forgot it all by now.


New Tuesday AM site at Marvin Elementary – Bushwood. 5:30 AM Bootcamp. Prizes awarded at launch.

Q Source Every Friday after Cerberus at Panera

Speed for Need races coming up – be on the lookout for Fall Races. Include Prostate Cancer run in Ballantyne Sept 14. Prostate exams will be provided at the race!


A Backblast on Tuesday

Relatively low number today at the ‘Nest. Maybe its the hot temps, or the family vacations. Or maybe its the Site Q’s threat that I would run and lift during a boot camp and who the heck wants to do that?

5:30 Disclaimer-ish. Then Mosey. Up to the new parking lots by the new fields, next to the newer fields they are fixin’ to build. Nobody says you don’t get your money’s worth at Latin.

COP – The Standards: Merkins, Squats, Mumble Chatter, Complaints about the .3 miles it took to get to COP.

Mosey up to pavilion. Little Hazes at the top and burpees down the hill. 3 Rounds. Followed up with the Triple D – Derkins, Dips and Donkey Kicks. 3x of course.

Over to the pile of rocks. 15 Thrusters run track with merkins at each corner. 2 stops for hand release and 2 stops for exploding merkins.

Wall sit for the six, then repeat.

Back to launch to say Hi to Gummy who was so fast at Fast Twitch he made it back 15 minutes early to towel himself off.

The Moleskine:

Puddin’ Pop puddin’ pooped himself after the first track lap. He was gracious and moved 10 feet upwind before he did it. He was eyeing Geraldo’s extra long socks and wishing he had a pair at that point.

Spackler was doubled over in a dry heave position when I rolled in. He’s a pro and popped right out to get out for the launch.

Semi-Gloss ran a lap by himself in the reverse direction because he needed “private time.” On the other hand, Hammer seemed to have mind reading abilities on initial mosey. Cut off a section of the hill and just met us back on my way around. Veteran move.

Hopper is turning the big 5-0 this week. Wish him a happy birthday, compliment his sweet new shoes he was wearing, and ask him to drop and do 50 burpees. He had to modify the DDD a bit. Apparently Donkey Kicks aren’t in the PT recommendations for shoulder re-hab. I am as shocked as you are.

Good to have LaRonda back out – even if he only joined us for the last 20 minutes. Missed the launch and took the private tour of Latin on his own. Come find the man soon – he leaves in 4 weeks to go to med school. T-Claps.

Shout out to Billy Goat who reached out this week and said “Cerberus Q is vacant, you need me to step in?” We do, thanks for leading and come out Friday to Cerberus and have Billy Goat chew you up like a tin can.

McGee was back out. He wore yellow. And all things are normal again.

Thanks to Snowflake for the takeout and for Hop(s/per) for the Q invite.


Plenty of Short Buses

16 men rolled into Kevlar this morning. Tough to find a parking spot with the lot full of Short Buses. I don’t know exactly who needs them but I do have some thoughts on who should. I will leave those to myself.

5:30ish PAX disclaimed and we proceeded to mosey.

Stand in large circle for SSH, IW, Lunges, Merkin Fest and Mountain Climbers.

Run to another portion of the endless parking deck and have partner run loops while other partner does setups. Do this for a while. Probably too long. Tiger Rag did show up in the middle here. Between the highlighter green shirt and the orange jeep he looks like the poster boy for Miami Vice. Maybe he should get some all wait shoes. Surely they sell those where Purple Haze buys his all black busboy shoes.

After that we ran to the paver cross. Partner 1 ran up stairs whole Partner 2 did jump squats. Repeat a couple of times. I surveyed the PAX during this workout. I am fairly certain the max vertical across the board was measured in microns.

So then we went around the church to the big hill parking lot. Run up it with median stops for Flutter, Merkins, Monkey Hummers and Burpees at the top. Jog all the way back and repeat for 3 times.

Over to the Tennis Pavilion. Do Split Leg Squats, Derkins and Dips until the air was sufficiently polluted by the gaseous remains of last nights take out Chinese food. Kung Pao’ed us right out of the pavilion.

Run down to the cemetery. Then a suggestion for AYG to the stop sign. Pop Tart and Boondocks obliged the Q with a solid effort. The rest of us – it was mostly a suggestion to run fast.

Rock pile – just pick it up for sets of biceps. Do these until Squid gets bit by a fire ant or maybe something else? Black widow? Scorpion? Barracuda? Who knows. He didn’t appear to need an epi-pen so hope he’s all right.

Run home to lot.


Some good work out there this morning. I don’t make it to Kevlar nearly as much as I used to since Cerberus opened and I don’t have to drive so darn far. Always a great AO with lots of options. The guys worked hard today (well most of them). Getting into the longest days of the year and felt like most of the workout was done in daylight for a change. I think you all are better looking when its dark and gloomy. Just my opinion.


Manziel has taken the Q to lead the tutoring at Billingsville Elementary school near Grier Heights. Look for opportunities to tutor and give back next school year. These kids don’t have a lot of steady adult influence and few male role models to look up to. Would be great to get lots of men out to serve. Sounds like it will be open to M’s, Non-F3 and older 2.0’s as well.

Covenant Day Campus is closed next week for a function. Skunkworks and Kevlar will both be on the move. Skunk at Aldi around the corner and Kevlar will converge with Joust aka F3 Ultimate.

Thanks to Cottontail for the takeout and to Fault Line and Orange Whip for the chance to Q.


Green Monster – Part 2

8 men posted. We ran to big grassy area. Then ran around it with 5 Merkins, Sit-Ups, Merkins, Romanian Dead Lifts, Mountain Climbers & Burpees. Repeat-o while adding 5 more each loop. Run home.


Outside of GhostRunner, WAMRAP might be the easiest Q out there. Donut Run looks easy too, but Bushwood has to deal with all the nagging about which route people are running. It’s stressing him out and it shows in the new wrinkles on his face. Might need to start doing a Botox run. And by the way, since when do we need to know what the workout is ahead of time? The beauty is in the surprise. Sometimes the surprise is good – like when the cake inside is chocolate. Other times you get vanilla, and that sucks. Either way its a mystery until the last minute.

WAMRAP is simple. Come up with like 4-6 exercises. Run some. Repeat.

Besides that, O’Tannenbaum was there too way early today. Mainly because he is the worst sales guy in the history of sales guy. Most sales guys take clients out late night. They expense high end bourbon, big steaks and strippers. Not OT. He tucks them in at 9pm, swipes their pillow mint, and invites them to WAMRAP in the morning. One of those was already an F3 man from Lake Murray (Fire Daddy). The other, Lou, now “Swamp Thing,” is from NJ – which is primarily an over taxed swamp. But hey, if the President can bankrupt a half a dozen casino’s in that state, then there’s no excuse for you not to run for President. You could run on the democratic ticket this year. Everyone else is. Odd’s are you could edge out that two-term At-Large School Board member from Ypsilanti, MI to come in second-to-last place at the Primary’s.

Udder continues to come to WAMRAP. I think he only does it to visit his brother at Camp Gladiator. Nemo posted. He’s more power lifter than runner now. He’s all bulked up and dropped his vocabulary to just grunts and 5 or 6 single syllable words.

Flipper jumped in front of Squid to give a solid take out. Squid looked unconvinced. Strong chance the Seaman is going to see if the Porpoise can really swim when he takes him out on a boat and dumps him overboard like the “burial at sea” Bin Laden got.

I’d offer thanks to whoever asked me to Q this week, but I am not sure anyone really is in charge here. No worries. Still the hardest workout of the week even if it is loosely run by a committee of misfit toys.


Hush your Rooster

10 Men and one aggressively loud rooster posted for The Matrix this week. There was a lot of smack talk out there, but the cock was the loudest. He’d be dinner if that was my neighborhood. Mmmm, chicken mini’s.

Anyways – we moseyed, circled, COP’ed per usual. Slow merkins for good form aka “Squid’s normal pace and form.” IW’s, SSH, other stuff.

5 Pull-ups here. 30 LBC’s there. 5 times.

Go to rocks. Grab a partner and a large rock. Something that would impress a date if you were a caveman. The men did good today, no pebbles chosen.

Line up on field for P1 run with 3 burpees. P2 Lift. Flapjack. Did OH Press, Bench Press, Good Morning, Tea Bags, Curls etc. Then hold rock overhead while partner runs. Finally haul ass around field with partner and rock and drop it back where it started.

Some ab work by committee. And by committee I mean McGee and Squid.


Good to see No Regerts back out. It’s been a while. I’m pretty sure he spent the time off as an extra on Duck Dynasty. Solid beard game. McGee showed up on two wheels and squeaky brakes. Despite the wide open parking deck he crammed his way into a spot not meant for a bicycle. After he hoped out through the back hatch, we were good to go. Squid may have the strongest core in South Charlotte but his good form makes him a tough partner on the cumulative rep partner work. He’s slow and steady while the rest of us look like rabbits in heat.

F3 Dad’s is rolling at Beatty Park Saturday’s at 9am. Reach out to Lex Luthor for details.

Thanks to Squid for the takout


Excessive counts of exercises

9 men gathered in the gloom for Death Valley. A bit cooler and less humid than I expected so we had that going for us. Several guys there early and hanging out in cars. Apparently they have forgotten the cold weather is behind us.

Pre-warning of Lazy Boy’s birthday had a focus on a high amount of reps. Real high! (Sorry Lazy Boy)

COP – Usual squats, merkins, and SSH’s etc.

Run down Strawberry Lane with stops for Merkins, Monkey Humpers and Burpees.

7’s on the hill with jump squats and burpees. When done, run backwards up the hill and crush the quads with 51 Monkey Humpers.

Back to school with stops for Werkins, Heels to Heaven, & Burpees.

Some mary and another 5 burpees to get to 51 total (for those who failed to modify)

3 sets of supines and step ups, wall sits, air presses, Donkey Kicks, and Mary to finish.

The ‘Skine

The good friend Cottonmouth is gave me the heads up the night before that it was Lazy Boy’s 51’st. Seems like as good a reason as any to get after it.

Lots of modification on the burpees by some guys. Some are legit recovering from injury, some preventing recurring injuries, and some with weak excuses. I’ll let you self select your group.

Good to be back out with the DV PAX. Hard to leave WAMRAP when it’s so close to the house and I can get 8 minutes more sleep! Thanks to Dollywood for the invite to Q.

Thanks to Smokey for the takeout.


Seis De Matrix

16 men showed up the day after Cinco De Mayo. The whiff of Tequila on the breath and a strong horn section powered by refried beans and hot sauce kept a cloud over the workout all morning. Wet wipes might be a good idea for some of you to bring to each post.

Gather up with 13 men, brief disclaimer, and then jog around the low parking lot. Pick up 3 late comers on the way back to COP.


SSH, Low Slow Squats, Mountain climbers, low plank jacks, & high plank jacks.


Mosey to the track and partner up. Speed and weight class don’t matter.

P1 – runs track. P2 – Exercises. Flap jack. Keep going until the team gets 200 Merkins, 200 Jump Squats, and 200 Flutter Kicks.

Mosey to the wall. Do some various wall sit exercises. Audible to lunge walk to avoid toxic burrito fumes. Back at the wall for some Balls to the Wall with a very slow Squid 10-count.

Back to track. P1 Planks, P2 runs track with stop halfway for 10 burpees. Flapjack and repeat for 3 rounds each.

Mary Suicides with basketball goals. 20 Dolly’s out there and 40 LBC’s at the start.

Mosey to launch, 10 burpees, 100 yard dash, and some box cutter mary.


Good partner assignments on the Q’s part ensured that most of the teams were fairly equal and finished the work in similar times.

I know you are thinking that O’Tanenbaum was one of the late ones, but you would be very wrong. He was there 5 minutes early and well before the Q. People can change. Squid didn’t think the workout was challenging enough so maintained most of his planks at 6″ or half way down. Tulip was cruising all morning. Gave Purell a run for his money on the 100 yard dash, at least for 50 yards, that’s when Purell dropped the hammer and took off. After a protest and further review, Purell was disqualified for running into Tulip’s line and mucking things up. Tulip pays out at 70-1. See Pop Tart with your winning ticket to request your winnings. Ocho Cinco Places and Squid takes the Show. Joker was way back. No wooly vest = No super power speed.

Thanks to Squid for the takeout!


Beach Season

A balmy 60 degrees this morning has me feeling like it’s beach season. That and Baracus posting in his swim trunks. Just glad to have him and the other 6 men join me this morning. Where was everyone else? No rain, no cold, let’s get after it.

5:30 and PAX properly-ish disclaimed. Also let them know that “modification” to exercise works both ways – you can always add more reps.

Mosey around and circle up by the basketball goals for COP. Low Slow Squats, Peter Parker, Parker Peter, Wide Arm Merkins, Mountain Climbers.

Mosey to Hotbox for 3 rounds of: 15 Split Leg Squats (each leg) and 15 Derkins. Run to light in parking lot for 5 burpees and back.

Mosey to rock pile at front of Church and grab a lifting rock.

Round 1: 20 Curls, 20 OH Press, 20 Tea Bag squats – 3x through. Then run to end of lot, 10 burpees and back. Mary for a bit.

Round 2: 15 Front Raises, 15 Good Mornings, 15 Bench Press – 3x through. Then run to end of lot, 10 burpees and back. Mary for a bit.

Round 3: Run with Rock to end. 10 thrusters. Run back. 10 Thrusters.

Return rocks and back out towards the hot-box and the tree lined Boulevard in the parking lot. AYG to end of Boulevard, 10 burpees, AYG to cars.



Site Q’s were out today. Lorax is up to his eye-balls reviewing Trumps tax returns and Brushback was out of something: Out of town, Out of the country, Out of his mind? Who knows. We thusly proceeded without them. Not sure if that’s the right use of “thusly,” but I feel like it fits. We did have Hops and Mermaid as site Q alums for Calvary based workouts.

Snuka crushed me (and the rest of us) on the runs for the 2nd day in a row. The man is a solid Respect and crushing it. Might need to check his pockets for HGH, PED, and other acronyms.

Good to post with Coco and Clover as I have not posted with those men yet. And is it Cocoa like the bean or Coco like Ice T’s wife? If it’s the latter then I want the story behind the name.  

Brilleaux apparently had an alcohol induced excuse to miss my Centurion Q on Friday. He’s recovered and was smoking it out there this morning. Working hard to keep Snuka in his sites.

Thanks to Hops for the takeout.

Look for the DV Gummy vs. the Anvil Gummy Q-off next week during a Wednesday convergency at Calvary.



50.  Seemed like a good theme for the day for 12 men at Centurion.  Warmest temps of the week with light rain made for a good morning to be out.  Plus there is a parking deck.  We spent sometime in the rain but worked a good bit under cover as well.  I also didn’t want to get Champagne too wet on his 50th.  I wonder if he’s ever gotten soaked during an athletic endeavor?  Hmm…  If there was only a picture of him, somewhere, anywhere, of him working out drenched and trying to wipe the water from his eyes.   Maybe it exists and it could turn up.

The Thang,

Disclaimer, Mosey, Parking deck COP – The usual.  IW, Mountain Climbers and some low slow squats.  Run up a flight and circle up again for 25 x 8-Count Body Builders in Cadence. Judging by the mumble chatter, everyone loved this. Thinking we should do it again before the workout ends.

Back down to the lower deck for a few rounds of 50.

Round 1: 25 Merkins and 25 Jump Squats at the bottom. Up stairs and repeat. Down stairs to Peoples chair

Round 2: 25 Wide arm merkins and 25 Donkey Kicks – top and bottom

Run a hot lap around stadium

Round 3: 25 Sit ups and 25 box cutters – top and bottom

Round 4: 25 Staggered arm Right Merkins and 25 Jump Squats – top and bottom

Round 5: 25 Staggared arm Left Merkins and 25 RDL’s – top and bottom

Hot lap up the ramps to the top and mosey down the steps two levels

25 8-Count Body Builders in Cadence – finisher.

Mosey back to lot for 60 seconds of planks.



OK – So this is my record for latest BB ever. Cobains. On the bright side, at Champagne’s advanced age, he still thinks the workout was this morning. I can’t say for sure, but it appeared to be some heavy modifications out there even from the guys who didn’t need to. Snuka was not one of them. War Daddy smoked us all on the high speed runs around the stadium and up the parking deck. Haze hurt his baby soft hands on the parking deck pavement and wished he kept his gloves on. Kirby and Bugeater had strong work with non-stop motion and no down time for wall sits.

Other things likely went down but I can’t remember them all and need to get this BB out before New Year’s, so that’s a wrap. All announcements are probably too late now.