Monthly Archive April 2021

Foundation and Glidah are freaking LOSERS!!

Both missed your BBs on April 5th? What you haven’t pooped once since then? Lock it up. Two weeks later my memory of the workout was been erased to due rage brought on by lack of accountability. Just kidding.

But seriously…

It’s done now. Everyone can sleep well knowing the only remaining BB is the Ignition BB from Monday. Clock is ticking Cobbler.

New Slim Fast Hill but no Coffee

14 of F3’s finest pax assembled in a middle school parking lot at 0515 for this week’s installment of Mountain Goat. Conditions were pretty close to optimal with clear skies and a temperature of 47F. We were joined by A51 Board member Cheese Curd for a surprise audit of the AO. Nevertheless, we straightened our running attire and headed out for a warm-up (almost) mile up Strawberry to Rosecliff to Browne’s Pond to Coburn. After stopping for a bit of stretching, it was time for the main event: New Slim Fast Hill. New Slim Fast Hill is a 0.4 mile segment starting at the low point of Coburn near the creek and extending to Cary Ridge. It features some challenging hills and had us sucking wind at the top. Instructions were to run hard to the top and recover to the bottom. After three rounds we made our way back to the launch point. A Mountain Goat staple for many years has been the stretch of Raintree Lane from the clubhouse to Four Mile Creek Drive. This was one of Slim Fast’s favorite BRR training methods, but we’ve retired it due to increased traffic.

  • Cheese Curd was out front with Slim and Sensei and circled back to pick up the Six all morning. Bravo.
  • Insomniac arrived on two wheels but shook off his tardiness and delivered a strong performance as usual.
  • South Paw effortlessly chews up ground with his long stride. He’s just beginning his running journey, but has serious potential to do great things.
  • Gullah punches the clock every week and keeps getting faster.
  • Face Paint has had the misfortune of starting his Mountain Goat career with Five Knolls last week and more hills this week. Keep up the good work.

We typically meet at the Arboretum Starbucks for coffeeteria after Mountain Goat, but our quest for caffeine was denied this morning. Apparently the barista didn’t want to serve a bunch of sweaty middle aged dudes at 0630. The gears started turning and we sought out alternatives, but alas, no coffee was to be had. Panera – not open until 0700. Same deal with the bagel place.

Two MG regulars are on IR and we wish them quick healing and a full recovery. Shout out to Lois and Tweetsie, aka The Boot Brothers.


Can It Be All So Simple?

6 of the best PAX in Waxhaw joined me in the swarm with elbow pads ready for some Ndiayes.  🙁


Skipped, no time as there was only 59 minutes left


Run to bus driver lady’s shed

  1. Up the path to first light, 5 mountain climbers, back to start 10 plank jacks, next light 15 MCs, start 20 planks, next light 25 mcs, start 30 PJs, then sprint to end of path

to benches behind ms-6 inch peter parkers x10 IC, 6 inch plank jacks x10IC

  1. to bottom of circle past busses; 5 merkins, back to start 10 CDDs, next light 15 merkins, start 20 CDDs, next light 25 merkins, start 30 CDDs, then sprint to end of street

to steps-50 donkey kicks, 20 heels to heaven, 40 donkey kicks, 15 heels to heaven, 30 donkey kicks

  1. to hill-at top 5 shoulder taps feet on fence, bottom 10 jump squats, 15 taps, 20 jump sq, 25 taps, 30 jumps, then run

to benches-dips, feet on bench-50, then 40 then 30, then run

  1. to bottom of roundabout-5 hr merkins, back to start 10 scorpion CDDs, next light 15 hr merkins, start 20 sc CDDs, next light 25 hr merkins, start 30 CDDs, then sprint until Gerber felt like stopping

to hs parking lot hill, 6 inch plank jacks x10 IC

  1. first light 5 burpees, back to start 5 tysons, next light 10 burpees, start 10 tysons, next light 10 burpees, start 10 tysons, then try and make it to the top before turning and

Running back to start, right on time. 4.5ish miles for the team


I was under the impression that every Swarm workout had to have some sort of Wu Tang theme. So I took a shot at it by utilizing Ghostface Killah and Raekwon the Chef’s song from their best album.    Sort of did the same thing over and over and tried to keep it simple.  Turns out the group loved the lack of creativity.   Wow!   Good mix of new (to me) guys, old guys, fast guys, faster guys.  We never modified. Form was impeccable.  Guys were all working ha…..


What’s that?  Times up?  Okay bye.


Bad Dream

Quick and simple backblast here….MVP 1.0 style.

The Thang:

  1.  DICCS
  2.  Circle up – warm up
  3. Paula Abdul to the hill – 10 T-Merkins/10 Squats
  4. 7’s on the hill – Burpees/Lunges
  5. Partner BLIMPS – 20x each exercise.  One Pax runs, the other planks, excercises done together.
  6. Mosey back…like a bad dream for more 7’s on the hill – Bomb Jax/LBC’s
  7. Paula Flabdule back to start – 3 lights (later to be 4 for time) up and 1 back.  Side Straddles/? (Memory fails me)
  8. COT
  9. Announcements – WTF on 5/1 last day for T-Shirt order. Waxhaw clean up right after workouts tomorrow.  Bring your back blower, rakes etc.  Coffeteria afterwards at CrossRoads Coffee.
  10. Prayer
  11. Family Photo


Take me back to when I was 20

Planned to do quick reps this morning. Plan was to do 20 reps of exercises. It was a pleasant morning and PAX were in early. So, let’s go.

DICCS given.

Mosse to Animal Hospital. 20 SSH, 20 Squat imperial walkers, Moroccan night club and Streches.

The Thang:

Mosse to Providence Rd N. Start with 20 Merkins, run 2 light poles, do 20 Jump squats, come back 1 light pole, do 20 Merkins. Continue till end of the road. This was tough. Heard ice9 wake up neighbors. Lots of form policing and lots of mumbles.

Mosse to Noma hair’s studio. Start with 20 Dips run to COT and do 20 Big Boi situps then run the center price st and do 20 Jump lunges, run back to COT and do 20 Big Boi situps and run to do the dips. 2 reps of this loop and it was time.

It was a pleasant morning and everyone pushed hard. Always thankful for the support. Thanks Ice9 for telling us about you F3 connection.

Big shoutout to Mashers.


  1. Help needed on 22nd to load truck for Christ closet give away. Look at group me for the time.
  2. WTH training this Saturday 6:00 am. Launch at Nesbit.
  3. Waxhaw cleanup this Saturday followed by cafeteria.

VQ like a Veteran


Mosey to back parking lot and circle up for 20x SSH, IW, get into a plank for stretching with can opener/runners stretch.   Then 15 slow merkins (4 count, descend on 1-2-3).

The Thang

Run one lap around the school stopping at each corner to do 5 merkins.  A little confusion on exactly what defined a corner, but a few extra merkins didn’t hurt anyone.

Next, mosey to the rock pile and partner up.  One rock per pair, rifle carry to the track – swapping rock half-way with your partner.

At the track, P1 runs a lap, P2 does exercise.  Exercises as a team all with the rock: 100 Bentover rows, 50 burpees, 100 squats.  On paper this didn’t look too bad, but halfway through those burpees (with the rock) and my heart rate was in the red zone.   Some 2.0s finished early and occupied themselves on the swings.   As PAX wrapped up we did some flutters and LBCs to the end.  That was harder than expected for such a simple routine.

Rifle carry rocks back to the pile for our last round.  P1 holds a plank, P2 runs one leg of a suicide to the cones.  Partners alternate each lap of the suicide.  The cones didn’t seem that far apart initially, but that added up too.  We had just enough time to return to COT and knock out a few Big Boys.


About a month ago, Johnny 5 was there when SpeedBump Q’d a complete workout at Clyent Dinner.  Johnny 5 commented afterward that now he really didn’t have any excuse to not Q, as SpeedBump is literally half his age.  So with the April Q challenge I reminded him about SpeedBump and let him know he’s on the schedule and there’s no backing out.  He wasn’t happy, and he didn’t start on his Wienke until about an hour before, but it was a solid plan.  I gave him a few pointers about transitioning and being prepared for calling an audible, but it went without an issue and he had a very successful VQ.  Does this mean he’s going to Q again really soon?  Let’s put the pressure on him to step up again as he did so well the first time.

Thanks to all the SOB & Waxhaw PAX who came out, many with their 2.0s to support this young man’s VQ.  It made me proud as a dad and as a member of F3 and as it was so cool to see the support for him.  I’m feeling the love.   Sorry to Midriff & Wingman I didn’t get your 2.0s names, hopefully they’re not bummed for not getting credit.


• Downtown Waxhaw Clean up this Saturday at 8am!! Will take about 20-30mins and then coffeeteria at Crossroads. This is M and 2.0 friendly.

• WTF – running trails CSAUP, get details at GroupMe or Slack – 40+ now registered

• SOB Wars – Stone Chicken Episode 1  on 4/24.  Starts at 5PM if you’re doing the whole thing, but joining mid-way is an option for the less insane ambitious


EZ strength? What is this, a luxury resort?

10 men rolled into the Calvary parking lot (not all at 0530) for this week’s episode of Meathead.  Some were early, some were late, some were right on time.  All in attendance agreed it was the best workout in the history of workouts conducted on 04/14/21.

According to the holy text of the SwOle-mpus-Meathead weinke, that spreadsheet of fame and infamy.  Created by Voodoo, from the depths of a fever dream that sounds like a collaboration between A Christmas Carol and Terminator 3 (you remember that one, the good terminator movie).  Delivered unto him in the middle of the night by the angry and vengeful spirits of Ronald and Nancy Regan on behalf of Geoff Neupert the Patron Saint of EZ-Strength, deemed that today was double swings day.  And if Saint Neupert says double swings, you better have double swings in your weinke or else …

Here’s what went down.


  • 25 two handed-swings
  • IW
  • Sharon Towers 
  • Prying squat
  • 25 two handed-swings

Main Event

Round 1: 10 sets of 6 DBL Swings (1 minute each) 10 minutes

Round 2: Armor building: 2 x DCL, 1 x DMP, 3 x DFFS for 15:00 (60 seconds on, 15 seconds off, 12 sets total)

Round 3: EMOM and AMRAP (10 minutes)

  • EMOM: 1 snatch per side
  • AMRAP between the EMOM
    • Lawnmowers (5 left, 5 right)
    • Romanian DL (5 left, 5 right)
    • High pulls (5 left, 5 right)
    • Reverse lunge (5 left, 5 right)

Carry and Mary

  • 30 seconds pax choice carry (L), 30 seconds plank
  • 30 seconds pax choice carry (R), 30 seconds plank
  • 30 seconds pax choice carry (L), 30 seconds plank
  • 30 seconds pax choice carry (R), 30 seconds plank

Somewhere in there, we talked about the volume of poop from 8 dogs.  Bullwinkle was slightly intimidated by this thought.


The weinke was designed to prep us for the Functional Strength Challenge on 05/22.  YHC knows the EMOM snatches were a big hit.  They were such a big hit that Voodoo had to ask why YHC deviated from the EZ-Strength portion of Our Lord of the Kettlebell Neupert’s Worksheet.  The answer is simple, just because you can do something, doesn’t mean it’s always a good idea.  Is YHC right, Bernie Madoff?

And EMOM snatches are a great idea.  Up there with getting a pat on the back with a handful of thumbtacks dipped in jalapeno juice and then skipping the tetanus shot.

Enough about stuff you wish you were part of this AM, YHC has to get back to making a living.  YHC’s stories about Possum Voltron or that time YHC liberated a Bradley fighting vehicle and entered it into the Pierce County Demolition Derby, into which YHC may or may not have won 3rd place (until being disqualified for failure to produce a vehicle registration and/or title confirming ownership of said Bradley fighting vehicle) …  That and other stories will have to wait until the next backblast.

Thanks to Unplugged for the take-out.


  • Lots of CSAUPS, because it’s getting warm
  • Forrest “Midriff” Gump is running on a mountain alone

Bataan Memorial WOD- Arm and Neck circles?

As YHC pulled into SCMS this am, 3 strong and eager pax were getting ready to go.  Well…except for one member who has sent his ruck in to get repaired and needed to borrow one.  Wild Turkey needed both ruck and sandbag this AM and I was happy to provide.  Once I picked up the contents of my trunk that fell out of when I opened it.  I grabbed a few things and quickly reassembled my trunk, grabbed my phone and speaker we got started.

This was a Q’less workout, as we have a very detailed WOD.  Pretty straight forward, see the details below:

9 Rounds

  • 10 Burpees Over Sandbag
  • 11 Sandbag Deadlifts (80/60 lb)
  • 12 Thrusters with Ruck (30/20 lb)
  • 13 Twists with Ruck (30/20 lb)
  • 14 Standing Arm Circles (30/20 lb)
  • 15 Neck Circles (Feet elevated position)
  • 16 Sit-Ups with Ruck (30/20 lb)
  • 170 meter March (30/20 lb)

DONE- 63 minutes of fun

Thanks Geraldo for taking us out


Ye old moleskin

Background: This workout was designed to commemorate the eight days of the Bataan Death March.  The Bataan Death March was the forcible transfer of 60,000–80,000 American and Filipino prisoners of war (POW) from April 9-17, 1942. This workout will honor these POWs with a Bataan Memorial workout consisting of 9 rounds of 8 different movements.

The tribute was designed by GoRuck @goruck as a part of their Sandbag & Ruck Training programming (aka SRT) for April 2021.

  • SACS is a great place for any WOD (Workout of the Day)
  • Thanks to Lex Luther for being flexible since we pushed his Q to get this workout in during the week of remembrance
  • Listened to Rage Against the Machine channel on Pandora.  Heard mostly Nirvana, Rage, Beastie Boys and some Jonny cash.  Few others filtered in…but I enjoyed the music selection
  • Apparently Dora is a big music buff as well.  I could not make out much of the conversation, but he has seen and been around a few random bands over the years
  • Wild Turkey will set get excited if anyone knows of an OH band or he hears on one playing…such random facts.
  • Everyone was putting in the work today.  The first half of the round was legit a solid push…not sure where the Arm circles and neck circles came from.
  • Funny to have TR and his band of misfits roll in during the the arm circles, that had to look silly
  • I forgot to mention the additional cars in the lot this AM. I thought we had new guys, nope.  Just the vampire running crew of TR, Hair Ball and few others
    • Yes, HB we have enough rucks and sandbags for you to join us
  • Geraldo could get renamed to Rain Man.  He has a unique ability to remember exercises and count.  Today he kept track of our rounds based on time…perfect, so I stopped counting.
  • WT will only count the number of burpees left to do
  • This is a great core of guys, that show up week by week and put in the time.
  • Again this was Q’less workout…but when Geraldo says, “you got the BB, right?”  I got it.
  • Flipper is on the schedule for next week…he only wants to Q 45….I will remind him we go 60mins.

Flying By


Warm-up Run & stretching at HS spirit rock

The Thang

Mile time trial

On the way back spring 1 street light jog 1 all the way to traffic light.

Head over to HS lot and did 5 rounds suicide sprints out to each line job back.  Real killer!!!!

Mosey over to Rudy’s shed to do up 2 back 1 light run.


Great push everyone!



WTF (waxhaw trail fest) 5/1

Waxhaw clean up 4/17 following workout.

Getting Swoll With The Chicken

DICCS- Given as usual and covered all topics

Warm up– Light mosey with Coupons near rock pile, so PAX who actually work and do not live on GroupMe could grab a coupon or rock since they did  not get the memo– The Chicken is turning this boot camp upside down with gear..  Drop our coupons and rocks and mosey to front of school for….

20 SSH


Plank- right arm high and right leg – 10 seconds– left arm and left leg high – 10 seconds

Can Opener Pose.


The Thang

Before we decide to play with our toys/coupons we needed a normal boot camp.

Mosey to stop sign at long road in front of school and at every light/stop sign complete…..

10 Mike Tysons and 1o Bomb Jacks ( Chastain would be proud)– 70 Tysons and 70 Bomb Jacks WTF!! Waxhaw Trail Fest ( more on that later) haha

On way back to starting point

10 Speed skaters and 5 lunges.

A quick mosey to pick up Twista since he was walking and let him know we will be playing with coupons now –so he could stay near us.

At bottom of lot grab you coupon for….


20- Rifle Carries

Repeat until we get to middle median at top of lot- sprint down to starting point and back.

Continue with Blockees and Rifle Carries until we get across the whole parking lot– WTF –Waxhaw Trail Fest ( more on that later)…

Grab you block for the following– complete 2 rounds of each but in between each round sprint up to median and mosey back to start.

20- Kettle Bells/2o curls- sprint/repeat

20- bench press/20 flutters with coupon- sprint/ repeat

20- Squat Thrusters- sprint/repeat

Now for the real fun with 8 minutes left..

1-Blockee ( number stays the same)

4-Military Press ( number stays the same )

4- Murder Bunnies ( increase by 4 each round until we get to 20)  — WTF-– Waxhaw Trail Fest— more on that later.

Mosey back to COT



As always I love leading a group of leaders like this. Today I wanted to dig deep into my Q bag and find some different types of exercises and I believe we accomplished that. I heard a good bit of complaining, breathing hard and actual a few choice words directed at the Chicken ( ANIMAL ABUSE!!).. The PAX pushed extremely hard today and I have a feeling we will have some tight arms and backs tomorrow– well done boys..

Few Call Outs.

One Star– down 15 pounds and is crushing it. Dude was a machine today

Schnitzel– I have seen him posting a lot lately at the running workouts but somehow we miss each other– dude is fast and if gazelles actually knew how to recruit they might could actually bring him to their side.. nice work brother.

Soft Pretzel– MACHINE!! enough said

Wildebeest– Love having my brothers Sugar Daddy and Premature there- boys bring their a game daily.



Twista- 6th man- ran into a few of us during neighborhood watch and we told him about F3. He had a heart attack last Tuesday and will begin posting regularly and going Vegan. He got his name since he is from Oklahoma and has seen 4 tornados.

WTF- Waxhaw Trail Fest- 05/01/2021– SIGN UP we have 40 peeps now and are looking for more- This is a F3 event but others can attend and FIA will be joining as well.

Last Call- Has new hours– 5:32AM due to school being back in.. Just think 2 more minutes of sleep and One Start is Qing Friday..