“Alf is Brown” – Puddin’ Pop

“Alf is Brown” – Puddin’ Pop

Last Friday Pop Tart reached out looking for a replacement Q for Monday. I accepted thinking, this will get me off the hook for my double Q week in early June when I was slated for Kevlar and The Matrix in one week. Well, then Brown didn’t show. No note, no text, no call, no “it’s not you, it’s me” story, nothing about how we’d “really be better off without him” or “I’m holding you back.” He just disappeared. Sort of like the fathers of every great serial killer and lady of the night.

So at 5:29, with Horsey McHorsesArse blasting 80’s rock ballads on his Bluetooth speaker, we all sat looking at each other figuring who was going to step up. So I looked around at the options:
– Horse Head – He and his Outland crew ran an entire workout, like 5K backwards. – I don’t want him leading.
– Tiger Rag – He’s had 5 months off to prepare a weinke that would contain nothing but squats and modifications. – Nope.
– Pop Tart – I really want him and Haze to swap one all yellow shoe with one all black shoe. Like Bumble Bees – The BUZZ is Back in Charlotte! – Yeah, no.
– Puddin’ Pop – He was wearing his blue shirt today. Made me sort of nervous to not see him in grey. Plus he might grab Horse Head’s Bluetooth and jam Rush Chronicles the entire workout – No Chance.
– Turkey Leg and Fletch – I didn’t feel like running that far or that fast – Not today.
– Harley – I don’t think I have ever seen him Q without a KB. – Fat chance
– Fault Line – He’s been swimming a lot and I didn’t want the rain to give him any ideas on that new drainage pond on the Fullwood side. – No life guard – so out.
– Cotton Tail, Tackling Dummy, and Blazing Saddles – I don’t think I have been at one of your Q’s, looking forward to it, but not prepared for the unknown – Next time.

So at 5:30 and out of options, I grabbed reigns, tossed out the disclaimer, and 12 men moseyed off.

Now for the part no one actually reads: The Workout.
Run in circles to collect all PAX with lunges, butt kickers and high knees while I think of something.
COP – Merkins, Wide Merkins, Diamond Merkins, SSH, IW, more lunges, and squats.

Run to dark front of school and grab a rock from the big rock pile.
Round 1 – 40 OH Presses, run to other side of church and back.
Round 2 – 30 OH Presses, 40 Curls, run to other side of church and back.
Round 3 – 20 OH Presses, 30 Curls, 40 Good Mornings, run to other side of church and back.
Round 4 – 10 OH Presses, 20 Curls, 30 Good Mornings, 40 Louganis, run to other side of church and back.
Return rocks and go over to other side of church on benches.

Partner up.
P1 Run around lot. P2 Dips. Flapjack to 200.
Repeat with 200 Little Haze step ups

Back to launch for flutter, Freddie Mercury, and Protractor.
Done

Moleskine:
Brown no showed. TR modified. Fletch was late and just barely able to pick up the speed and catch up to the group. HH modified. Puddin’ Pop was leading all PAX on the rock/running combos. Puddin’ Pop slowed down considerably on the Partner exercises when I was stuck back at the bench doing dips. No one knew the rock pile was there. Surprise! Turkey Leg won the rock size to body weight ratio award. It rained. I proofread none of this for grammar. I expect Gummy to cover me there. Puddin’ Pop claimed that I was Brown. If Brown was there the workout would have been lower mileage and funnier. I have to get back to my day job. The one that pays.

Thanks to Harley for the takeout. Thanks to Horsehead for not attempting to stop my coup.

Announcements:
June 4 – F3 Dads and F3 Q School – look for Pre-Blast.

-Alf