The Monkeyburner

The Monkeyburner

A lucky 13, including one FNG, posted this AM in #HazardCounty for the Outland workout. This was a particularly nasty one, the product of weeks, days, hours, mins, a single text message worth of planning.

6AM Pre Run by EE, Glass Joe, and Turnpike to get the blood moving.

The Main Thang:

Run to the buses, run back and forth through all of the buses.  This is called the “Cheese Weaver” and is a favorite of Boondock (2.0), who led the charge to kick us off.

Circle up for some warmup exercises by EE.

• SSH
• Imperial Walkers
• Low Slow Squats

Indian Run to the Elementary School playground, followed by some Lunge Walk.

Three sets of three exercises

• Step Ups / Jump Ups
• Donkey Kicks on the Swings
• The “Washing Machine” (merger of the manmaker merkin and the supine pullup) – looked better on paper, supposedly

Mosey over to the gate for the main event – The Monkeyburner

Two teams of six, and one floating 2.0 helper heckler, each with a single 45lb plate coated with a space age epoxy formulated to bond cast iron to 27 degree asphalt.  The course is 1/2 mile, one way, gate to gate on a straight paved road that connects the Elementary School to the High School.  Team would perform the following exercises while one man pushed the #monkeyburner plate down the road, switching exercises each time a teammate relieved another (or on themself).

• 15 merkins
• 15 LBCs
• 15 jump squats
• 5 burpees

Initial plan was a there and back, but after it took 30 mins to get there with a long string of carnage and several pax who were barely able to walk or speak we pulled the plug on the monkey and did a double indian run back to home base with the plates.

Back at the school – EE takes back over

10X Donkey kicks IC on the wall, followed by Air presses.  Went up the ladder to 30 air presses and then back down to 5 with the donkey kicking each time.

Mosey back to the main lot for some Mary to round it out,

• Flutter
• Dolly
• Protractor

Moleskin:

Lots of very hard work out there today.  The Monkey Burner was terrible.  Something on those plates EE scored at the Goodwill just didn’t slide very well at all and you really have to dig in hard to get them to move.  Good thing we had the six man teams, because the 4 man team setup I was expecting would have been even worse.    Bit of a humbling internal experience when our team got smoked on the first 1/4 mile and I changed the teams up to try and even things out a bit.  After getting left behind again, it came to me that the common denominator was likely not the fact that I was getting stuck with the slow guys, but that perhaps I was the slow guy.   #IamThird

One thing that I never have to worry about at Outland is leaving someone behind or having someone who struggles with a particular exercise feeling like they don’t have alternate options.  The PAX simply will not tolerate this, and they make Qing these workouts easy.  This is why I feel like I have the freedom to to keep pushing the group fast up front so that everyone gets a hard workout.  I knew there would be a couple of guys who needed some alternatives on the hairburners, but they were quickly picked right up with encouragement and some alternative ways to get the plates down the road without having to do the dreaded “lounge walk” by themselves.  TClaps to everyone through this event, lots of guys really working hard to get those plates to the other gate.  I know I was seeing double toward the end.

Lots of #engineering going on trying to decide how to get the plates back.  I think that GJ and CT were writing a computer program to devise the best method of transport.  Nobody liked my idea, which I forget but was probably awesome.  We settled into a bit of a military march thing carrying them back overhead.  It looked cool in my mind, which is important.

EE’s festival of donkey kicks at the end was not exactly a cool down.  That kept the heart rate up until the very end.  Somehow I got sent back for the extra plate and everyone’s dropped laundry as we rounded the corner back home, which ended up being 10,000 miles away and was heavy and smelled bad and made me complain and put me by myself where nobody could hear me complain and nobody cared but it was hard and this is a run on sentence.

Good to have our FNG “Game Show” join us.  An EH from CounterTop who lives almost walking distance from the site.  We hope to have him back.  His name is Drew, which led to the Price is Right and then to Gameshow.

Drop Thrill had a nice speech at the end for some particular guys who have encouraged him through the past year and gave them some of the MommaDT velcro patches he had made up.  We are all proud of his progress and how he always hangs in there.  Also, the Dora the Explorer bookbag he was wearing matches his sparkly tights.   #hugs  #allergies

Announcements:

• Golf Tournament
• GoRuck Light (Hairband and DT)
• BRR (GJ, EE, Horsehead)
• New River Half Marathon (GJ and his imaginary friends)
• Come check us out at #TheGrindstone after the Outland Coffeteria.  We start around 8:30 and are going through a book together as we fellowship and sharpen each other.
• Zip

always a pleasure,

Horsehead