Author Archive Glass Joe

So Simple So Dumb

This workout would be simple. I wouldn’t even have to give complicated instructions….or so I thought. I forgot that I work out with some primate-level intelligent beings (especially the one named after a Howler Monkey with Hemorrhoids). But, I’m a man of the people so I persevere through their foolishness.

Harambe and I ran. It was epic. He tried to avoid getting his shoes wet…..and got his shoes wet as he was saying he wanted to avoid getting his shoes wet. This is what I have to work with here.
Unplugged was doing some weird stuff by himself with a broga mat and a kettlebell. Hopefully the SV cameras were turned off for most of this or he may end up like Hoffa and banned off school campuses.

We ran. We warmed up. Bernanke and Harambe forgot their Y chromosomes and were chattering about their leggings or cramping issues or something. Who knows.

Everyone gathered their bell and carried it over to the hill.

Dora 1/2/3: Partner 1 ran up the hill and did 5 burpees at the top. Partner 2 did 100 Good Mornings, 200 Squats (Goblet or Sumo) and 300 Swings. Flapjack often. Hairband’s count ran a little short but like any good elf, he finally got the job done.

Run a HB mile around the parking lot.

This is where is gets a little silly. I clearly said we will do one group of exercises next which were 100 Partner Combined Bulldogs. These Einstein’s translated that into each person does 126 or something like that. We finally got it worked out after I clearly and plainly resaid instructions. Backwards run up to the top of the hill for Partner 2 and 10 Jump Squats. Flapjack

HB Mile

300 Flutter Presses. 10 Bombjacks at the top.

Rosalitas into Dollies back into Rosalitas never putting your feet down. Which some of you put your feet down anyways.
Backscratchers X20
Feet raised 6 inches and arms above you until time. Fortunately my clock works better than Full House and doesn’t take 4 minutes to go one minute.



I did the best and worked the hardest but there are a few comments I have for others.

EE did good work obviously pushed by my hard work. He started complaining about people not having bought new KBs. He doesn’t do my budget so I ignored him.
Unplugged was the happiest out there. Which after his pre-work, not sure how to feel about that.
Sanford dealt with Unplugged as a partner. Nuff said.
I thought Midway was outshining Pinto as normal until he said that he had some cramping issues. I told him that Harambe has those monthly as well and that seemed to motivate him to push through them.
Hairband was late. Short. And terrible at counting. Solid effort for him.
Countertop seemed to enjoy this other than having to double his reps to make up for HB.
Harambe and Bernanke were there. Chatting. Okay.

Prayers continuing for Harambe and family.
Prayers for a friend of HBs/Bernanke/Sanford who committed suicide. Guys, you are not alone. Never let the Liar and/or the world tell you that you are alone.
Strong takeout by Unplugged.

Strange Times

I got voluntold to lead this workout. I put approximately 4 seconds of planning into it. Mainly because my last Q here didn’t finish through a bunch of Dora’s I had planned out so I just started at the bottom and worked my way up this time. Last time I Q’d, we stayed in the parking lot but a few of these guys struggled to move out of the way of a car Tuesday and didn’t look any wiser so figured we’d go to the football field instead.

– Harambe joined me for a solid pre-run of his knee giving off some weird noise and me spewing my normal wisdom. He’d interject every now and then and I told him to get back in his lane and listen. I say that because I care for you to grow in wisdom…like me.
– Some guys were walking around the park with kids backpacks on. I thought it was a father/son out for a walk and was appreciating the great example of fatherhood I saw there. Then I realized it was Crypto and Hairband. Dang, my bad on that one.
– Unplugged was there…stretching….weirdly. Something about he used to stretch for his back, now it’s his arm. Not sure what any of that has to do with him twerking but you do you Unplugged. He said we should join in. We all turned away to keep our eyes from burning.

– Harambe takes off. Probably for the better anyways given how little he added to the pre-run.
– Pick up your bell and start walking to the art circle. So, the sign proclaiming a future art project has been replaced with some weird planter…..with no plant. Bold display of minimalism as art Indian Trail. It’s probably safe from being torn down though so IT gets the last laugh.

Warm Up
– We did things. I cadenced perfectly. We moved on.

The Thang
– Pick up your bell and carry it to the 50 yard line on the football field. Partner up. I choose Shepherd mainly because I know he counts by twos on his reps.
– 1st round of partner combined Dora’s: Snatch x 50, Upright Rows x 100, Lawn Mowers x 150. While Partner 1 does those, Partner 2 runs to the goal line and does 5 burpees. Flapjack until completed.
– 2nd round of partner combined Dora’s: Clean and Press x 50, Goblet Squat x 100, Overhead Press x 150. 10 Bombjacks at the goal line.
– 3rd round of partner combined Dora’s: Bulldogs x 50, Flutter Press x 100. 10 Jump Squats at the goal line.

Running out of time so we cut short the 3rd round. Carried our bells back to the parking lot. A few rounds of exercises with yet another perfect cadence. DONE.

– Harambe ran strong in the pre-run. The one time he talked was to tell me they ran that way before but there was no stop sign before… an intersection of two roads. Apparently Stallings is randomly putting up stop signs to mess with him. ok, dude
– Hairband pretended to be Dora. Pretended to do reps during Dora. And asked if I wanted his bell. Impressive work all around.
– Cyrpto fell into Hairband’s evil plan of making someone else get arrested with him for their grown men wearing backpacks in a park trick. But to be fair to HB, it worked.
– Unplugged did weird stretches before. Pulled a Horsehead of showing a much bigger bell than the one he actually used. Then bailed on us instead of doing coffee. Your consistency in failing is admirable.
– Shepherd made my work load lighter by counting by twos. Still proves me to be the smartest man out there choosing him.
– Pinto made Midway do all his reps.
– Midway never figured out he was doing all of the reps. Not sure what this says about either of them. Either way, nice job knocking them out.
– Poser had to do HBs reps while he was trying to trade bells with me which remains weird. Good solid effort though.
– Hoffa. Dear, sweet, innocent Hoffa. First of all, have you been at Overdrive since before your motorcycle accident where your bubble bike flipped over when you hit that caterpillar? Would have never happened if you had been at Overdrive that morning but let’s not let your laziness be our focus. I was proud of your effort. You almost did a rep, you almost did a burpee and you almost ran. But you did tell me to shut up multiple times.
– Smokey showed up for unknown reason and finished with no reps. Normal post for him.

We are moving Thrive and Overdrive back to 5:30 AM starting next week. This accommodates some of our teachers and not like beauty sleep has helped any of you. Keep posting and getting better just at an earlier time.

Who Pushes Who

The 4:00 or 4:30 AM alarm goes off and here we go again insanely listening to it. Get out of bed and run into a few doorways stumbling through the house. Maybe a pre-run mixed in and then 45 minutes of idiocy. And we do it for the needed fitness and the fellowship we never knew we were missing prior to F3. But what if this training isn’t just for us? What if all those alarms and merkins and burpees and mileage is for others as well? Speed4Need is the opportunity to combine the what we do along with why we do it with who it truly is for.

The Park church has a ministry serving disabled members in their particular needs and had asked Speed4Need to do what they do best: Push the Track Commanders across the finish line. 12 men showed up just to serve that purpose. Some of us run a bunch and some (Hairband) not as much. One of us has a 2,700+ day running streak going and I believe a few were on day #1 of their running streak. But regardless of gazelle or clydesdale status, we were running for more than just us on this morning.

The Track Commanders for this race were Miles, JoJo, Shawn and Malaysia. We had planned to just run 3 chariots but Malaysia and her Dad Al asked if she could command a chariot and the answer of course was yes. Al then tells us that he wants to go with her and this will be his first 5K (as well as hers) but he wouldn’t be able to run it. In God’s good humor, we have just the answer: A few will ruck it and just happened to have their rucks with them in their car. Pretty sure this was an answer to Hairband’s prayers as well to get to ruck it.

A great time was had by all the track commanders and those who got to run with them. Al and Malaysia both got their first 5K in the books. Learned Malaysia is a huge video gamer. Shawn and JoJo just had a blast and were all smiles. Their joy was humbling and inspiring to the men, and 2.0s, running with them. It was great to see Bernanke and Hairband’s 2.0s join them. Miles was a great commander for Blowout, Gypsy and YHC. This was his 2nd time and his Mom said he wanted to go fast this time. Fortunately, he was up to the challenge of keeping us on the right path and getting us across the finish line. He knew when we had to make that right turn and put up his right hand to let us know. And getting to watch the parents put the medals on them was such a fun moment for them and us.

I think we came into it thinking we’d be the ones pushing and found out their joy, zeal for life and excitement is what really pushed us throughout the race. I began running as an overweight guy who had just watched my Mom pass away from cancer. So, my running always has some meaning to it as a way to honor her but this was something different. Most of my running is for me and my health to be there for my family if I’m really honest. This running was completely for someone else. And I walked away grateful to get to run for someone else but also grateful for all you guys who get up when that alarm goes off and push through it together with me so that when the time comes, we can serve those who need us to push them across. This is why!

Video from the race:

KBs at a KB workout, Brilliant

Hairband asked me to Q #F3Overdrive. That’s when you know he’s desperate. It’d be like me asking him to Q our Sunday morning long run. It would be a tall order for him and that’s really saying something. I guess when Lamont is still recovering from actually using his elbow at a workout, these are the kinds of things that happen.

In the most important news, Hoffa is now a Double Respect. Considering we give him no respect, pretty sure doubling zero is still zero.

The Thang
Mosey around the parking lot.


Disclaimer for the FNG. Some smart aleck remarks when I said I’m not a professional. Hoffa tried to say something but his 30 year old dentures fell out. Better luck next time buddy.

SSH IC x25
IW IC x25
Mountain Climbers IC x25

Mosey back over to the bells and carry them over to the parking lot.

Simple Q on this one:
We will do the called exercise for three rounds. The timer is one of the PAX will run around the parking lot and we do AMRAP until he gets back. The kicker of this one is after each round, slide your KB to the right so you are constantly working with different weights through the rounds of each exercise. Modify as needed. And yes Bernanke, around the islands on each end of the parking lot. I regret affirming him in this later as I have to do reps while he moseys, picks flowers, reminisces about his times in the mountains and just generally takes forever.

Here are the exercises we did for three rounds each (order is sorta close to right):
Clean and Press
Good Mornings

We did an Intermission SSH IC x25 just to help recover some of the PAX who were looking a little rough at this point.

Flutter Press
Lawn Mowers
Hold Bell Out Front – If you have to drop the bell, the penalty is Burpees AMRAP until the runner gets back


Rosalita IC x35
Dying Cockroach IC x30


Prayers for Lamont’s less than masculine elbow.
Prayers for YHCs FIL
Thanks to Snookie for taking us out

– What a day! What a day! GJ Qing a gear workout that was almost fully gear and Smokey showing up on a Friday. Both miracles. Both will probably take about the same amount of time to occur again. Which is sad. I mean, not sad that we don’t ever see Smokey again but sad as my Qs are the best.
– BW HC’d Thursday night. An HC as faithful as winning the lottery.
– Great to have Snookie with us. And I promised him he wouldn’t have to run while his foot still recovers and he was able to modify the run to a half-walk around the parking lot. Which was still faster than Bernanke’s run.
– Jabber was appreciative of being beside YHC for the constant chatter. He didn’t say it but I could just see that he was. Not so sure he was appreciative of us sharing bells though.
– Glad Woody/Edison were able to join us and power through as always.
– Bernanke joined us. Not sure I’m happy about it but he was there.
– Hairband seemed to be pleased with the amount of KB usage. I am sure he was nervous after my pre-tweet of using your KB a little bit. Notice I said your KB not a KB.
– Hoffa seemed angrier this morning. This is pleasing.
– Outland is closed tomorrow as Madison thinks people are going to drive 2.5 hours to a convergence. Or maybe he skipped this week on his 10 year Q plan for Outland. Either way, #F3TippingPoint is open in Monroe for what should be a great time as Hoffa is Qing. Hide your wives, hide your kids, the angry one is Qing.
– Last but not least, welcome to FNG Truman (Blake). So named because he once appeared on a reality show thus we played off of The Truman Show. He claimed to be a friend of Bernanke’s which is nice because that now doubles Bernanke’s friends list. Keep posting and that running will get easier and easier.

Thanks for letting me lead.

Glass Joe

Saying goodbye is so hard

Conviction was started as a moderate for the Union County guys to give a new option on Wednesdays and an option to get some new guys into F3 from an area we’ve never really been in (Stallings north of 74). Unfortunately, not all things work like we hope not to mention it’s about impossible to cross over 74 with the Bypass work going on overnight and it just didn’t work. So, let’s try something new and move Conviction to Shiloh Elementary (one of the two Elementary Schools behind SV Middle). But, before we do, one more Conviction at Stallings needs to happen. And I normally take rest days on Wednesday but this week, I couldn’t make Thrive so I need to make up for it. Thus, here I am on my first official Q for Conviction on its last day at Stallings. And officially it’s moving to a regular boot camp at Shiloh unlike the moderate at Stallings but what will the Site Qs do to me if I go ahead and ignore the moderate deal? Never let me Q at Stallings. #makemyday

Horsehead gave me warning, I mean notice, that he would be attending. He wanted something more than moderate. Given his amount of posts the last quarter, a slow mosey would be more than moderate for him but he’s here and I haven’t heard him complain lately so let’s have fun.

The Thang
Mosey to the parking lot behind the school.


SSH IC x25
IW IC x20 (I think, suckas forgot to count or maybe they can’t count)
Mountain Climbers IC x20
There was one more but can’t remember. HH probably didn’t do them anyways so they really didn’t count

Mosey to the baseball/football field. It’s dark and probably never been really visited before. And because your Q scouted the area well before-hand (hint hint BW, show up early for your Qs…not late), we went into the baseball field using the gate in the outfield rather than the infield gate which had a nice puddle.
Mosey to home plate.

Bear Crawl to 1B, Crab Walk to 2B, Bear Crawl to 3B, Crab Walk to Home

Partner up and one partner run around the fence in one direction and the other partner in the other direction and when you meet, Handslap Merkins x10. Then finish back at home plate. There was some confusion around the clearly given and explained directions. Horse basically hits the fence in left field and instead of following the fence around, he starts running back towards home plate. In what world does that make sense when everyone else was running around the outfield fence? Next time we’ll blindfold him, give him a bit and let Hoffa lead him around. Hopefully run him straight into a pole. Not even mentioning that HH didn’t even do the handslap merkins and did regular merkins. Some complaint around it stretched his ovaries to do the handslap portion.

Now that we are back at home plate, bear crawl to 1B/Lunge walk to 2B/bear crawl to 3B/Lunge walk to Home.

Again, we do the run around the field and this time, HH does the handslap merkins. Maybe he got his ovaries properly stretched out?

Mosey to the Football field on the lower side of it (because YHC as a good Q had scouted that the other end was soaked)

P1 run down the hill, 10 Bombjacks, Backwards run up the hill and back to where P2 is. P2 starts burpees. Partner combined burpees x50. I now learn that not only does he do his own thing in exercises, HH also doesn’t count his reps. Which might be because he isn’t doing any reps. #HHrefusal #shouldhavechosenShepherd

Now, Round2. Partner Combined Squats x200. At the bottom of the hill, Jump Squats x10. At some point, HH takes forever to come back up and is spending time setting up some broken chair. Normally I hate Hoffa but now I realize Hoffa is not the worst F3er ever. It’s clearly HH. He still isn’t actually counting his couple of reps. He claims 100 squats which would work out to about 3 squats per second. And when I got back to the top of the hill, he wasn’t doing any reps. #killme

Enough of this mess. Mosey back to the playground beside the school.

At the playground equipment, Derkins x20, Donkey Kicks in Swings x20, Step Ups x20 each foot (40 total to help Hairband understand how this is supposed to work)

Running out of time so only one round of that as I want to experience HH complaining and not counting his reps again. Waterboarding would be a lesser torture.

Mosey to the deep drainage pond. It’s strange. Guessing it’s a ‘pond’ for runoff that doesn’t have any runoff after the last week of heavy rains at times. UC engineering at work.

Partner Combine LBCs x300. At the bottom the of the pond, merkins x10, backwards run up. Here were HHs LBC counts: 7, 8, 4. #canteven

During all of this, HH complained that there wasn’t enough running. Which is the case when the Q calls a run around the baseball field and you go to one side and straight back. But, let’s ignore that he caused his own lack of mileage in all this and listen to his complaining.

Mosey over to the parking lot. Start with a mosey pace, at first light do your regular pace and then at the 2nd light, all you got to the end. Turn around and do it again.

Mosey to near the cars. For a short Mary, get on your six and hold your feet 6 inches off the ground and hold your hands straight out in front of you. Hold that until it’s time.


Prayers for a couple of the PAX’s Father-In-Laws dealing with cancer.
Prayers for Badger from Fort Mill and his family.
Thanks to Shepherd for taking us out

– Where do I even begin with this cluster? It had so much potential and then HH posted. Even Hoffa was tame compared to HH. I didn’t even get threatened with violence from Hoffa during the workout.
– Hoffa didn’t threaten me during the workout but pretty sure he did before the workout. He claims he’s happy when I’m not around and pissed when I am. Yet, two weeks ago, he describes going off on one of his customers. I wasn’t there buddy. But you are always at every moment when you get pissed. We don’t lovingly call you ‘Angry Elf’ for nothing.
– BW was still bragging that he’s not as short as Hairband. I mean, tallest midget still can’t reach the top of a shelf. You don’t get an award for being barely taller than Hairband.
– Shepherd was one of those complaining about the instructions given at the baseball field. Yet, he still ran around the field and did 10 Handslap Merkins with his partner. Remember not to let Mr Ed drag you down.
– I heard this multiple times: “Thought there’d be more running.” I basically got 2 miles. Any lack of running was due to a lack of effort only.
– So, Conviction at Stallings ends about like you’d expect. Just a cluster.

Glass Joe

No Timidity for the Humidity

The Thang:
-Mosey to the little parking area past the amphitheater.
– COP:
– LSS (X20 IC)

– SSH (X20 IC)

– Merkins (X10 IC)
– Windmills (X15 IC)
– Mosey around track to the bridge; 5 Burpees
– Pick-a-rock:
– Squats (X20 OYO)
– Curls (X15 OYO)
– Flutter presses (X10 OYO)
– Deposit rocks; Mosey toward baseball park across the street; stop for 5 Burpees along the way:
– Butt Kickers down the walking track,
– Then, Lt. Dan’s (X10); Plank it up!
– Bear Crawl up the hill to the guardrail at the street; Plank it up!
– Mosey up the street/hill to the dead end side street, and partner up:
– P1 – Run down the street and back (1/3, 2/3, to the end; P2 – LBC’s (Flapjack – to 200)
– P1 – Run down the street and back; P2 – Dying Cockroach (Flapjack – to 100)
– Mosey back across the street to the Park; stop for 5 Burpees in the parking lot.
– Mosey around to the back of Hamburger Hill for some 7’s:
– Run up the (wet/steep) hill; 6 Burpees at the top
– Bear Crawl down the hill; 1 LBC at the bottom (Repeato until 1 at the top and 6 LBC’s at the bottom)
– Mosey around to the side of the Hill for 5 MOM:
– Dollies (X20 IC)
– Superman/Bananas
– A minute left for some Stretching.
COT; Thanks to DT for taking us out!

Moleskine: Despite the humidity, the PAX worked hard with very little mumble chatter, except for their disagreement over Burpees serving as an exercise break. The 7’s on the back of Hamburger Hill proved to be a “terrible idea”, but may have been easier if the Park had mowed the grass recently! We did break tradition on locations for COP and 5 MOM (GlassJoe needs to let it go and break out of tradition!). Finally, many thanks to DT for driving up from Ft. Mill to join us! Great to see you at Tipping Point/F3UC again! – Shepherd.

Be more

Just sliding this one in the last minute but it needs to be written as some things matter more than a workout

Background: Two weeks ago, I went with my church’s youth group, and my oldest daughter, on a mission trip to Asheville to serve with YWAM (Youth With a Mission). We ministered to the Travelers and Homeless in Asheville. One of my convictions is I knew more names of homeless in Asheville than Monroe. That is not loving my community well. Careful what you are convicted on….

4 for a 5 miler around uptown Monroe that included seeing an armadillo. Didn’t know those were a thing in NC much less near uptown Monroe but apparently their range have been spreading north. Weird stuff

The Thang:
Hoffa, slowly, pulls up on his little bike. Come on Hoffa!!! Guess I should just be happy he hasn’t cussed me out yet so let’s go.
Mosey to the courtyard

SSH IC x25
IW IC x20
Windmills IC x10
Mountain Climbers IC x20
Low, Slow Squats IC x20

Mosey to the new parking lot.

Starfish points:
1) Run to the playground and 10 donkey kicks on the swings
2) Run to the tables and 10 step ups each leg (20 total)
3) Run to the main parking lot and do 5 burpees (burpees are half off today)
4) Run to the rails for Tonawandas (Rail Slide w/ Merkins)
5) Backwards run up the hill and do 10 bombjacks at the top

After each point, come back to the new parking lot and do 10 jump squats

We each went to #1 first, back to the lot and then all four of us went to #2 where there was a homeless guy sitting on one of the tables. Well, I gave my conviction above and we finished #2 but instead of running back, we took a moment to talk to the homeless man named Benjamin and to get his story. Then we asked if we could pray for him and what we needed to pray about which he said pray that the system will remember him basically. So, right there in the middle of the workout, we prayed for Benjamin. Then we took off again to finish the starfish.

Round 1 done.

Round 2, we double everything.

This time at point #2, it had hit me that the least I could do was to invite Benjamin to Juds with us afterwards so I did and he accepted. Told him to hang around till 8 and he could go with us.

We finished Round2.

Mosey back to the playground for some extra work.
Supine Pullups using the swings x10
Donkey Kicks using swings x10
Decline Merkins w/ feet in swings x10

Repeat for 15
Repeat for 20

At the new parking lot, lunge walk across. When across, backwards lunge walk back.

Mosey over to the hill for 7s.
Backwards run up and lbcs at top. Run back down the hill and on your back, do knees up to chest. Combine for 7.

Mosey to the rail
Tonawanda Rail Merkins x3 full rounds.

Got like a minute before planned Mary so sprint up the hill to the flagpole and then back down on the other side.

Mosey to the courtyard.

Rosalita IC (en espanol) x25
Backscratchers IC x20
Feet 6 inches high and hold arms out in front of you until the time hits 8. About 30 seconds worth I believe but the groans of not knowing how long we would be like that were awesome.


Grab Benjamin and off to Juds we go.

What are we? Are we just a group of guys working out? Are we anything more? What are we here for? Is it for us? Is it for something greater? If we are honest, these questions haunt us. Most of us are Christians and so we think we have these mostly figured out but then we are bothered in those quiet moments when we reflect on how we are living out our Christian lives. Jesus hung out with the outcast yet we avoid them. And we all think that’s not us and it’s those other Christians not doing their job but we know the truth whether we admit it or not. It’s also us. It’s also me. Jesus loved the least of these and I tend to avoid the least of these as much as possible. It was my conviction and here’s the blunt truth, we had seen Benjamin in the park before. We, no I, had avoided him mostly. Does anyone think Jesus would have avoided him?

Here are some Benjamin facts: He is homeless. He was very appreciative we invited him to eat with us at Juds. He used to work. A car accident left him with a severe back injury and if you’ll watch, you’ll see his hands jerk some which is due to nerve damage. He doesn’t like pork product so he avoided bacon and sausage at Juds. He laughed at how angry Hoffa is. He has 11 brothers and sisters. He has one book bag of clothes and a sleeping bag. He was recently robbed of some items while at the homeless shelter and is rightly upset that people would steal from him.

I’ll give one more fact: He is loved by Jesus. He should be loved by us and not avoided. We can’t solve all his issues. But, I did invite him to breakfast every week with us. He has an open invite at 8 AM to meet us at the park and go to Juds and we can make sure he gets at least one good meal that day. Isn’t that the least we can do?

I pray we get to know Benjamin more and we can learn how to serve him even better. We can’t just ignore and overlook the Benjamins of the world. Not when a Savior died for him on a cross just like us.

Adventures in Uptown

Been a while since we’ve been uptown. A few references to Hoffa along the way since neither he nor our sleeping buddy were present.

The Thang

Mosey to the end of the parking lot at the bottom of the hill near the entrace.

COP (Only had to move aside for a car once which doesn’t seem very smart at this point)
SSH IC x20
IW IC x20
Low, Slow Squats IC x15
Windmills Abe Vigoda style IC x10

Backwards run up the hill to the entrance. Mosey along the sidewalk to the bottom of railroad hill.

Lunge to the first light pole
Backwards Lunge to the second light pole
Backwards Run to the third light pole
Buttkickers to the fourth light pole.

Mosey across the railroad tracks and across the street into uptown Monroe and head to the rails

Railslides down the rails.
Railslides up the rails.
Rail Holds Indian Bear Crawl down the rails

Mosey over to the three steps area.
Keep in a plank position the entire time through this.
Feet on the first step and then shoulder taps x10
Move feet up to the next step, shoulder taps x10
3rd step, shoulder taps x10
Back down to 2nd step, shoulder taps x10
Back to 1st step, shoulder taps x10

Mosey up to the water fountain
Choose your pain: 20 step ups on the water fountain wall or 10 jump ups on the higher wall across from the water fountain.

Mosey over to the parking lot
Run 2 spaces forward, 1 space backwards across the parking lot.
Now we must go back: 2 spaces backwards, 1 space forwards.

Mosey to the tables
Derkins x10
Dips x10
Incline Merkins x10
20 step ups
Repeato no thanks to Kiefer

Mosey to the side of the building
Sit on the wall, Air Presses x50
Recover over to the railing, calf raises x25
Back to the wall, Air Presses x100
Calf Raises x50
Air Presses x150
Calf Raises x75

Back to the wall.
Balls to the Wall w/ Inverted Mountain Climbers IC x10. Recover
Balls to the Wall with a slow 10 count (apologies on forgetting where I was at – sure it was a mistake)

Mosey over to walkway
Crab walk to each crepe myrtle tree.
LBCs x20 at each crepe myrtle tree.
There were 5 trees in all though Canary tried to imagine a 6th tree. We just let him go for a while and then told him he was done. #merciful

Mosey to the parking lot beside the railroad lined with trees.
Suicides starting at the top running to each tree. Bombjacks x5. Backwards run back up to the top, 10 squats.
There were 8 trees in all and the grumbling started getting really loud here. Some debate who is the real idiot: The Q calling this or the PAX following this. I think the answer is yes.

I have to admit that seeing the flagpole in the park separated only by railroad tracks had me considering if we should run the tracks and go straight back into the park. I don’t know if that’s legal or not. Still I considered. Then I decided I wanted to spend the night with my hot wife and not some guy named Bubba. #followthelaw

Mosey to the parking lot between the train station and street. Got to get to the end of the lot.
Bear Crawl half the lot to the stairs.
At the stairs, do the Swan Walk (One foot forward and then with balance, reach with opposite hand and touch your foot – balance was laughable after the suicides)

And the end of the lot, run up the hill to the sidewalk and mosey up the rest of the hill and then across the railroad tracks (the sure legal method)

Since I’m merciful….and running out of time.
At a faster than normal pace for you, run down railroad hill, to the entrance of the park, and down the hill at the entrance.

Recovery pace across the parking lot.

2 Minutes of Mary
Rosalita IC x25
Feet six inches high, hold your hands in front of you till time is called.

Prayers for my FIL with his pancreatic surgery on Monday
Canary is involved with Run for Your Life. May need some guys to volunteer and run with some boys.

– Sort of interesting that we got almost 3 miles in while never really being more than a quarter mile from the flagpole in the park.
– We worked a lot of stuff into my ADD Q.
– Great having Kiefer back with us. Hope the schedule allows for more.
– Canary wore a yellow shirt. He claims this was unintentional. Riiiiiight.
– Those tree suicides had the effect of not being able to feel your legs during the squats after the backwards run up the hill. Unanticipated but appreciated by all. Well, almost all. Think Gwyneth thought about cussing me out but Hoffa wasn’t there so this was a pure Q.
– Kiefer appreciated the BTWs. Who needs arms anyways, right Kiefer?
– Glad EE was able to join us afterwards at Judd’s.
– Appreciate you letting me lead you guys. Always a pleasure to lead men like you.

Glass Joe

No Madison No Problem

Madison was on Q but was out of town or just fartsacking. Not sure which but either way, he’s as useful as a Bullwinkle HC. Been a while since I Q’d Thrive and figured since most of these guys have easy Qs, I’d up the difficulty level some. Heck, with a low bar like Madison, it really isn’t too difficult.

The Thang

Quick mosey around the parking lot to get the blood flowing. Already more difficult than Madison.

SSH IC x25
IW IC x20
Windmills (sorta Abe Vigoda style) IC x10

Mosey to the side road.
Sprint to first two peninsulas and burpees x5 at each.

Mosey to soccer field and partner up

Partner Wheelbarrow switching as needed across the soccer fields (the long way across). First time through for each partner was merciful. Each switch thereafter was to begin with 5 decline merkins and then start the Wheelbarrow.

Mosey to hill which seems steeper than the other side of the hill we normally use.

11s with squat jumps at the bottom, bomb jacks at the top and backwards run up the hill. Whiners started complaining. Hoffa got angrier if possible. A few falls among the PAX. #notaprofessional Exercises while we collect.

Mosey to the other side road.

Begin with a normal pace of running and at the first tall light pole, sprint at a faster pace, then back to normal at the next tall light pole, and keep switching paces at the tall light poles all the way to the end of the road.

Crab Walk back up the road to the next light pole (short/tall both count here). Bear crawl to the next. Lunge Walk to the next. Reverse Lunge Walk to the next. Sprint/Regular pace runs using the tall light poles back to the intersection.

Oh look, we have to get back to the starting point. 7s using the hill with the same format (jump squats/bomb jacks) and backwards run up. Finishing at the bottom.

Partner wheelbarrow across the field. This time, start with 5 decline merkins each time across. Cadence exercises while we collect.

Mosey to the building.

Balls to the Wall and inverted mountain climbers IC x10. Twice actually.

People’s Chair w/ Air Presses Standard Count x50.

Mosey back to the parking lot. Christmas speaks for the first time and manages to get out something about an easy Q.

Thanks to Christmas, burpees x10.

Rosalita IC en Espanol x35
Protractor with a slow 10 count at 10 degrees at the end. Sorry for getting sidetracked several times during the countdown. #ADHD


Thanks to HB for praying us out.
Prayers for my FIL and his cancer surgery coming up
No Regerts on Q at Conviction. Lamont at Overdrive.
Possible Convergence to #F3TippingPoint (former Monroe/former Shutes Pond) Saturday to support SnB move

– I said you’d need gloves and #smokeboots. YHC would not lie to you.
– Some comment made with two minutes to go before we started about those same words ‘You got 2 minutes’ are what Hoffa hears from his M. He cursed at it so not sure if that’s confirmation or not but seems fairly likely.
– Christmas spoke. And insulted the Q. That’s fair actually.
– Appreciate the DD 2nd F with HB and eHarmony.
– Great to have Blue Crush, Tweetsie and Lois join us today.
– Some social media comments about SnB dealing with allergies or some sort of monthly issue. Not sure but it sounds awful. He should be better by next week though.
– Thanks for letting me lead this bunch of crazies this morning.

Glass Joe

Anniversary Who?

It’s Bullwinkle’s Anniversary Q. It’s been a year since he began to arrive at F3 workouts late, talk trash, skip reps and become literally half the man he used to be in that good F3 way. He asked for this Q last Friday in honor of his anniversary and we gladly gave it to him. Unfortunately, his Q was problematic. Main problem being he didn’t show up. This left us in a quandary. We could honor him by skipping the workout entirely or one of us is going to have to be an emergency Bullwinkle anniversary Q. I had a secondary plan for a Q that I did recently (and failed to do a BB for) so I decided to implement it here. Let’s go.

Mosey around the parking lot since it is supposed to be a running gear workout (some of you forget the running part but I am a voice for lonely gear such as shoes).

SSH IC x25
Abe Vagoda IC x10

Grab your bell, choose a partner and let’s mosey over to the hill. Country Living seems to believe a bigger bell means something. I tend to believe it’s compensating for something else that’s smaller. But, either way, let’s move on to the actual work.

DORA 1-2-3 w/ KB
100 Goblet Squats
200 Curls
300 Swings

Partner 1 runs up the hill backwards on snow and does 10 bombjacks. Partner 2 does the KB exercises. Flapjack as necessary until all exercises if done. If done early, do sets of 10 each of the three exercises until all teams are done. This took some time esp those swings

Recovery mosey around the parking lot.

Time for a DORA .5-1-1.5 w/ KB
50 Tricep Extensions
100 Skullcrushers w/ Leg Lifts (KB and legs meet at your midsection)
150 Flutter Presses w/KB

10 LBCs at the top of the hill and this time a regular run up the hill.

Recovery mosey around the parking lot.

Back to KB for a few Mary exercises.
Rosalita w/ KB press IC x20
Rosalita (no KB) IC x25
Backscratchers IC x20


– Without a plan, this ended up working out well anyways. Much grumbling = Success
– Shepherd wiped out at some point. In proper Pastor form, I heard no cussing and not even a Christian cussing word like shoot or dangit. #example
– Country Living watched my form a lot. Especially on the Goblet Squats I think. The staring is weird. #metoo
– I should have wrote this BB last Friday as I can’t remember as much of the mumblechatter. #BBlazy #guilty
– Kotters to Jabberwocky. He’s no longer dead to me. Countertop is still #deadtome

Speaking of which, as a man who wears yoga pants has announced on the F3UC FB page, it’s proper form for a Q to do a Backblast. They are helpful if you need to reference exercises later and just good for busting balls. You should do them. And by you, I mean me. I’m guilty too and will try to pick this up. Hold me accountable if I don’t.

Glass Joe