There’s a distinct lack of 9-fingered saxaphone players … for a reason
Date: 2025-06-25 AO: sacs Q: hoover PAX: Cheese Curd, wildturkey, Roulette FNGs: None COUNT: 4 If the drummer from Def Leppard only has one arm, then you can play the saxophone with 9 fingers. Don’t be a little b*tch about it. Fire up that x-box, put on Rock Band, and ask yourself, “When you make love, do you look in the mirror?”
At least that’s what we took away from Wild Turkey’s reflection on Cheese Curd’s latest dating story. Pretty sure the random guy in Raintree who walked out of his house at that moment and headed to work regrets the decision to go into the office a little early today.
Call it another usual day at SACS, heavy stuff was carried, perspiration was perspired, and the SACS crew discussed the trending topics driving our social discourse. Then there was Cheeses Curd’s love life which fits in to said discourse like a Tesla at a demolition derby — quiet, confused, and probably on fire. The fire BTW is actually a burning sensation that you should talk to your doctor about.
It’s schwetty out there, kids. So grab some extra weight an lug it around the neighborhood, said no one ever. But at least we at SACS own our complete lack of smarts, unlike all the other workouts who find ingenious ways to make you feel like you’re in control of your own destiny (or the direction of the conversation). “It’s you vs you” or “It’s 0.0 so you don’t have to worry about running.” or “Lie down in this piss covered parking deck and take a breather as many times as you can in 45 minutes. Don’t mind the cockroaches. Or the cup of poo.”
No sir, at SACS we have a plan and execute on that plan. We leave no man behind, if only because then we’d miss out on all the witty banter from our resident counter-culture punk-rocker Wild Turkey. And Roulette’s dry banter that reflects expert-level inquisition skills only found in a father, “Did you just refer to yourself in the third person as ‘daddy’?”
A plan was hatched and executed on. Said plan isn’t important but it included 3+ miles, sandbags, rucks, and multiple rounds of what will likely be the lowest denomination of American currency. Oh yeah, and some hills.
WARMUP: didn’t need to it was already 83 when we started.
THE THANG: See above about how it’s not important.
MARY: Not sure if that’s the name of the 9-fingered saxophone player at the heart of our story. but either way we didn’t see her.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Horsey half, BRR, Christmas Party, Wild turkey on Q next week
COT: the sweaty yeti took the crew out. there was no ball of man because that would’ve been gross.
At least that’s what we took away from Wild Turkey’s reflection on Cheese Curd’s latest dating story. Pretty sure the random guy in Raintree who walked out of his house at that moment and headed to work regrets the decision to go into the office a little early today.
Call it another usual day at SACS, heavy stuff was carried, perspiration was perspired, and the SACS crew discussed the trending topics driving our social discourse. Then there was Cheeses Curd’s love life which fits in to said discourse like a Tesla at a demolition derby — quiet, confused, and probably on fire. The fire BTW is actually a burning sensation that you should talk to your doctor about.
It’s schwetty out there, kids. So grab some extra weight an lug it around the neighborhood, said no one ever. But at least we at SACS own our complete lack of smarts, unlike all the other workouts who find ingenious ways to make you feel like you’re in control of your own destiny (or the direction of the conversation). “It’s you vs you” or “It’s 0.0 so you don’t have to worry about running.” or “Lie down in this piss covered parking deck and take a breather as many times as you can in 45 minutes. Don’t mind the cockroaches. Or the cup of poo.”
No sir, at SACS we have a plan and execute on that plan. We leave no man behind, if only because then we’d miss out on all the witty banter from our resident counter-culture punk-rocker Wild Turkey. And Roulette’s dry banter that reflects expert-level inquisition skills only found in a father, “Did you just refer to yourself in the third person as ‘daddy’?”
A plan was hatched and executed on. Said plan isn’t important but it included 3+ miles, sandbags, rucks, and multiple rounds of what will likely be the lowest denomination of American currency. Oh yeah, and some hills.
WARMUP: didn’t need to it was already 83 when we started.
THE THANG: See above about how it’s not important.
MARY: Not sure if that’s the name of the 9-fingered saxophone player at the heart of our story. but either way we didn’t see her.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Horsey half, BRR, Christmas Party, Wild turkey on Q next week
COT: the sweaty yeti took the crew out. there was no ball of man because that would’ve been gross.
falcons Crest 6-24-25
Date: 2025-06-25 AO: falcon-crest Q: semi-gloss PAX: marge, deep_dish, jet_fuel, ChickenWing, MARTA, Huddle House, puddin_pop, Grits, Melons FNGs: None COUNT: 10 WARMUP: THE THANG: MARY: ANNOUNCEMENTS: COT:
Heat dome
Date: 2025-06-25 AO: the-maul Q: Odd Job PAX: kirby, super trooper, taggart, teddyf3, F3 Elsa, patent_pending FNGs: None COUNT: 7 Nothing could stop this fearless crew from stepping into the heat dome like it was a walk-in sauna with burpees. Highlights included: – A round of 7’s: merkins and burpees. Why? Because we hate ourselves. – A DIY obstacle course that featured merkins, iguanas, jump rope, goblet squats, and overhead squats with some kind of rock crusher thing, and a wildly accurate “flappy bird” impersonation by patent_pending. Audubon Society is expected to call any day now. – F3 Elsa defied heat physics and absolutely crushed the course. It was so smooth, it looked choreographed. – taggart successfully learned to count cadence—a personal best and a moment of pure magic. Meanwhile, revenge is a dish best served… magnetized. super trooper’s infamous prank bumper sticker made its way from my car to teddyf3’s, but Teddy discovered it before his Buffalo road trip. Shame. Rumor has it kirby is plotting bumper sticker escalation that is sure to raise some… eyebrows? Stay tuned… and check your bumpers.
Poorly Hung
Date: 2025-06-25 AO: wamrap Q: Orange Whip PAX: Mile High, Alf, O’Tannenbaum, Orange Whip, poptart, Ledbetter, Elderly Woman Behind a the Counter in a Small Town FNGs: None COUNT: 7 Really just a horrible morning. So I decided to lean in and make it more horrible-er
Went into the stairwell inferno to the rooftop where we did: – Dragonfly’s – Tarantulas – Wal Tar Jai – Turkish Getups – Burpees – Dry docks
Started at sets of 5 and somehow we got to the sets of 30. I was flaming out bad and Alf kept pushing in the lead. He must be taking those Frank Thomas pills that help you keep your energy past 50…don’t forget his tagline at the end of those old commercials: “she’ll love it too”
We had a guy who had been an FNG 3 times. He can’t remember his name so we’ve gotta give him something really bad. Alf is was going with horse names and that’s where Poorly Hung came from but we have to follow the rule that you must be able to tell your kids what your name is and what it means. I’d say we go ahead and name him Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small town. It’s hard to say and it’s funny.
Other things said and wondered:
1. Would a horse with a micro-penis have a bigger penis than an average man 2. Did you know the Terminator movie shows Arnold’s? 3. If you work out mostly with men, chances are you will I’ll be looped into a conversation like this one
OT was sipping drinks last night and still showed up without complaining. Pop Tarts hair is getting long. Mile High always joins us and crushes it when not 30k feet.
Ledbetter takes us VQ next week. Come see it!
Went into the stairwell inferno to the rooftop where we did: – Dragonfly’s – Tarantulas – Wal Tar Jai – Turkish Getups – Burpees – Dry docks
Started at sets of 5 and somehow we got to the sets of 30. I was flaming out bad and Alf kept pushing in the lead. He must be taking those Frank Thomas pills that help you keep your energy past 50…don’t forget his tagline at the end of those old commercials: “she’ll love it too”
We had a guy who had been an FNG 3 times. He can’t remember his name so we’ve gotta give him something really bad. Alf is was going with horse names and that’s where Poorly Hung came from but we have to follow the rule that you must be able to tell your kids what your name is and what it means. I’d say we go ahead and name him Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small town. It’s hard to say and it’s funny.
Other things said and wondered:
1. Would a horse with a micro-penis have a bigger penis than an average man 2. Did you know the Terminator movie shows Arnold’s? 3. If you work out mostly with men, chances are you will I’ll be looped into a conversation like this one
OT was sipping drinks last night and still showed up without complaining. Pop Tarts hair is getting long. Mile High always joins us and crushes it when not 30k feet.
Ledbetter takes us VQ next week. Come see it!
Benny this sucks
Date: 2025-06-24 AO: fast-twitch Q: Benny PAX: Astro (Kyle Kirchhoff), Alf, Mr Brady, Cheese Curd, retread FNGs: None COUNT: 6 WARMUP: After a proper veteran disclaimer then typical mr. brady giving grief for launching at 5:16(workout starts at 5:15) of we went to YHCs really dumb idea starting at windbluff. Quick cop of IWs before the main event started. THE THANG: It’s BRR season so pretty simple run down the first speedbump on windbluff then run all the way up to the top. Then do 10 merkins. Then do the same thing but this time go to a Fast Twtich classic Smokerise Hill but this one all the way to the culdesac(many complains were given there) then when you’re back by windbluff do 10 more merkins. Rinse and repeat till 6:05 many more complaints given after by Cheese Curd and I’m pretty sure Alf said multiple times(Benny this sucks, granted I take that as a complement).Mlles ranged from 4 to 6 pending on everyones pace. MARY: None ANNOUNCEMENTS: Reach out to those we haven’t seen in awhile, Mr. Brady on q next week. COT: Astro with the takeout
Round four
Date: 2025-06-24 AO: run Q: frasier PAX: citgo, fleetwood, flipper, Franky, gumbo, Gutter Guard, Mistake, soft_pretzel, fire_hazard, teddyf3, Wolverine FNGs: None COUNT: 12 WARMUP: once again, dead elite athlete, warm-up. THE THANG: this was round four. Last week was the hardest week and this was the second hardest. Pretty simple. Run up nine minutes as far as you can get and run down eight trying to get as close to the start as possible. We did this twice with five minutes of rest in between. MARY: ANNOUNCEMENTS: really appreciate everyone showing up each week. We had great attendance and a lot of guys made it every week. I hope you can see the improvement you made even within a month of running three minutes. Uphill to now doing nine minutes. The grade of the hill and the temperature made this very challenging. Impressive to see everyone out there pushing themselves. COT:
Miles 21-23
Date: 2025-06-24 AO: 3rdf-timekeeper Q: Pepsi PAX: citgo, Franky, frasier, Gutter Guard, Roulette, soft_pretzel FNGs: None COUNT: 7 Great conversation with the guys this morning. A few topics covered: what does Gods voice sound like when talking to you, how to be a better parent, how to be a better friend, importance of goals and thoughts on various seasons of life. Great start to the day!
Looking forward to wrapping up the book next Tuesday.
Looking forward to wrapping up the book next Tuesday.
Why am I leaking…
Date: 2025-06-24 AO: bagpipe Q: Roulette PAX: F3 Elsa, wildturkey, taggart, Pepsi, Emoji, Blue Tent, Hawkeye FNGs: None COUNT: 8 WARMUP: Mosey to the Courtyard parking lot, SSH, Windmill, Plank, runners/calf stretch THE THANG: Stations around the lake 10x wall squats 10x Dips 10x Decline merkins Mosey to the next station 10x step-ups 10x Dips 10x Decline Diamond Merkins Mosey to the next 20x flutter 20x Big boys 30 sec leg hold
Mosey to the rock pile for Catch me if you can Pick a rock and partner up Guy with the rock rifle carries around the lake, other partner does 5 burpees then runs for the rock… repeato around the lake When finished, go back for the six and do some more burpees… fun
Reverse order stations around the lake, Mary 10x 10x 10x you get the idea
Flag carrier back home, then some plank into stretch to wrap it up MARY: Always ANNOUNCEMENTS: BRR Helene fund raiser Aug. 2, run/ruck/walk if you want a t-shirt sign up this week. COT: Gratitude for the opportunity to be better men, share in fellowship, and to be present. Safety and comfort for those in areas of conflict around the World.
Mosey to the rock pile for Catch me if you can Pick a rock and partner up Guy with the rock rifle carries around the lake, other partner does 5 burpees then runs for the rock… repeato around the lake When finished, go back for the six and do some more burpees… fun
Reverse order stations around the lake, Mary 10x 10x 10x you get the idea
Flag carrier back home, then some plank into stretch to wrap it up MARY: Always ANNOUNCEMENTS: BRR Helene fund raiser Aug. 2, run/ruck/walk if you want a t-shirt sign up this week. COT: Gratitude for the opportunity to be better men, share in fellowship, and to be present. Safety and comfort for those in areas of conflict around the World.
Excess Recovery
Date: 2025-06-23 AO: swole Q: flipper PAX: Unplugged, Uncle Leo, flipper, voodoo, Kodak, Emoji, ickey_shuffle FNGs: None COUNT: 7 Good to see Kodak back, though after learning of 2 other Kodaks in A51 we renamed to Kodak. ickey_shuffle came back, and Emoji survived bees invading his tailgate. voodoo returned from his globe trotting ways while the stretch brothers got there early in order to make the rest of us look like immobile slobs
WARMUP: Synovials, Flippers Heavy Bell Circuit, prying squat THE THANG: the spreadsheet called for E2MOM 5 snatches by 12… we threw in 8 belkins since 120 seconds was excessive recovery. Quick two hand EMOM of swing, high pull, clean, squat, press w/ increase of reps every minute MARY: boat canoe, flute bridge, elbow plank ANNOUNCEMENTS: horsey half COT: YHC took us out
WARMUP: Synovials, Flippers Heavy Bell Circuit, prying squat THE THANG: the spreadsheet called for E2MOM 5 snatches by 12… we threw in 8 belkins since 120 seconds was excessive recovery. Quick two hand EMOM of swing, high pull, clean, squat, press w/ increase of reps every minute MARY: boat canoe, flute bridge, elbow plank ANNOUNCEMENTS: horsey half COT: YHC took us out
Is this your parent’s playlist?
Date: 2025-06-23 AO: firestarter Q: Starch PAX: Hawkeye, madison, Point Break, war_eagle, wildturkey, Maestro, Melons FNGs: None COUNT: 8 WARMUP: What a morning. It was a tough out there with the heat and humidity, but 8 of us put in good work and had some decent mumblechatter along the way. Be sure to stay hydrated out there – it’s only getting hotter, and we have a lot of CSAUPs on the horizon.
It was great to have a guest, Maestro, who’s in town for a relative’s graduation.
Started with a mosey to the stairs and a quick warm up of SSH Imperial Walkers Merkins Runners stretch Mountain climbers
THE THANG: Partner up – 1 partner runs the stairs while the other does a workout. 3 rounds of: Wall sit Plank American Hammers and Flutters
We lost madison at this point to a tweaked calf, but he stuck around to ice it and put in some work. Heal up man!
Did 2 rounds of the following at the playground. We did a lap around the Jeni’s loop after each functional area:
Chest/tricep – 15 reps each – Derkins – Dips – Merkins – Carolina Dry docks
Legs – 20 reps each or 10 each leg – Split squats – Lunges – Squats – Step ups
Abs – 20 reps each – Heels to Heaven – American hammers – LBCs – Flutter kicks
Hawkeye appreciated the playlist (mostly 70s and 80s rock) and showed us the inverted plank. I’ll be using that in a future Q
madison kept it up with some Mary while elevating and I ont his calf. Man’s a beast.
Maestro shows up after being up a lot of the night with his 4-year-old. Mad respect for him posting
Was great to meet Melons this morning. I need to hear the story about that name sometime soon.
Point Break out in the work and was really quick on the laps. Always good to see you
war_eagle showed up a tad late, but he found us pretty quickly once we started our stair work. Glad you found us
wildturkey kept anticipating what was next and got it mostly right. He added in some burpees to get back up to speed after his Scottish adventures.
MARY: With 5 minutes on the clock, we stretched it out and wrapped up with a 47 second wall sit
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Horsey 1/2 marathon Mountain Rumble Ultra 5k
COT: Pray for peace in our lives and in the world.
It was great to have a guest, Maestro, who’s in town for a relative’s graduation.
Started with a mosey to the stairs and a quick warm up of SSH Imperial Walkers Merkins Runners stretch Mountain climbers
THE THANG: Partner up – 1 partner runs the stairs while the other does a workout. 3 rounds of: Wall sit Plank American Hammers and Flutters
We lost madison at this point to a tweaked calf, but he stuck around to ice it and put in some work. Heal up man!
Did 2 rounds of the following at the playground. We did a lap around the Jeni’s loop after each functional area:
Chest/tricep – 15 reps each – Derkins – Dips – Merkins – Carolina Dry docks
Legs – 20 reps each or 10 each leg – Split squats – Lunges – Squats – Step ups
Abs – 20 reps each – Heels to Heaven – American hammers – LBCs – Flutter kicks
Hawkeye appreciated the playlist (mostly 70s and 80s rock) and showed us the inverted plank. I’ll be using that in a future Q
madison kept it up with some Mary while elevating and I ont his calf. Man’s a beast.
Maestro shows up after being up a lot of the night with his 4-year-old. Mad respect for him posting
Was great to meet Melons this morning. I need to hear the story about that name sometime soon.
Point Break out in the work and was really quick on the laps. Always good to see you
war_eagle showed up a tad late, but he found us pretty quickly once we started our stair work. Glad you found us
wildturkey kept anticipating what was next and got it mostly right. He added in some burpees to get back up to speed after his Scottish adventures.
MARY: With 5 minutes on the clock, we stretched it out and wrapped up with a 47 second wall sit
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Horsey 1/2 marathon Mountain Rumble Ultra 5k
COT: Pray for peace in our lives and in the world.