Driving into the parking lot, I get a text from TR telling me that his BRR team-building exercise left him sore in funny places and I have the Q.
Fantastic.
21 took a surrealistic voyage into Bizarro-world this morning, as I attempted to pilot this anarchic adventure from a caboose–mounted captains chair.
Rest of the morning was just a barely-memorable streamofconciousness . . .
Look around the lot, lots of dudes rolling up in there. I’m not sure who all of these guys are. Look, there’s Header, does he even run? Is that other shirtless guy chewing tobacco? Baracus looks like a banker. Oh well, maybe I’ll give a suggestion for some routes. Hey look – shirtless guy is taking off and everyone is following him. Better get in on this joint. A nice little warmup run sounds good. Crapfarts, why is everyone getting so far away already? I forgot to tell them about the pledge at 6:08 – that’s important. Dang it, I’ll pledge by myself if need be. That will only be slightly less weird than everyone doing it.
Ok, this warmup lap sucked and my legs feel like jelly already. Everyone has a running buddy. I don’t have a running buddy. Look, a dead raccoon! I’ll call him Rocky and he can be my running buddy. Who’s that dude in the black shirt who keeps encouraging me? Rocky, you say? Now this is awkward. I’ll just hide this dead raccoon in the bushes. Is that Udder in the bushes taking a dump? Seriously – that is nasty. I wonder what time it is? That big green sign on the house always says 515. I’m not sure how I feel about this.
This big hill around the curve sucks every time I try and run on it. Why am I repeatedly doing this to my body? Am I running backwards? I’m not sure I’m even moving. I may need to install some sort of check valve on my Strava so it doesn’t log reverse mileage. Would a diode be more appropriate? I”m not sure, I’ll ask Baracus. Wait, he looks too much like a banker, even without a shirt. What does a banker know about check valves and diodes? What time is it?
Is this where the nekkid guy lives? Oh look, that must be him sitting in that running car with the headlights pointed right at me. Maybe I’ll go talk to him. Hmmmm . . . I’m not sure about this. He says his name is Gaylord and he has the entire Falcon Crest season 2 series on VHS in his shed. Something seems fishy – better keep running. Why do I always seem to pass his house when I’m all by myself? I think I’m going to throw up. I may have to eat it to survive.
Man, it’s hot. I’m going to punch the next person who encourages me. Crap, I missed. I hope he thought I was just trying to fist bump him. Oh look, it’s Header. I think he wants to run with me. Maybe if I slow down to the slowest speed you can possibly run he will just keep on going. No dice, I think he’s attached. That’s ok, he’s such a nice guy. Used to drive that preacher car until he got that phat-daddy #momjeep. Now everybody has one of those sweet jeeps. I wish he would run me over with it.
I think I’m going to walk a bit. Wait, nobody else is walking. Not cool. I’ll suffer until I see somebody go first. Wait a min . . . YESSSSS! Thanks white shirt guy.
Look, it’s 6:05. The green sign lied. I hate you green sign. You son of motherless goat. Everyone is gathering for the pledge. How do they know? Even the new guys know. I think it just feels right – let’s roll with it. At least we stopped running.
#Merica
And now we are running again. When does it stop?
TO BE CONTINUED:
Swiper on Q next week.
– Horsehead
11 PAX gathered under the watchful eye of Charlotte’s Finest CMPD this morning at Elon Park Elementary to figure out if the Pre-Tweet of Bratwurst’s 0.0 workout was a trap.
@F3Sob Runners and 0.0'ers – Come and build a better running body at #F3Foxhole tomorrow. Bring a KB. 0515 setup. 0530 start. #0.0
— Bratwurst (@bratwurst_f3) July 17, 2016
The THANG:
The Moleskin:
@F3Sob 11 Pax walked eight laps for 0.1mi at #F3Foxhole. #not0.0 #Qfail #sobCounts @Voodoo_F3
— Bratwurst (@bratwurst_f3) July 18, 2016
http://running.competitor.com/2014/07/training/book-excerpt-build-your-running-body_109459
Announcements:
Posted on behalf of Floor Slapper…
It was an honor to lead with a merciful break in the sunlight, but not in the humidity
Warm-up: jog to the side parking lot, 20 side straddle hop, 15 Merkin, 15 mountain climber, 20 Imperial Walker, 15 Merkin, 15 mountain climber, 20 squat
The Thang:
Circuit around the school:
Jog to the stumps, 10 jump ups, 20 Durkin’s, 20 dips
jog to the first playground, step ups 10 each leg, 12 pull-ups, 20 jump squats
Jog to the wall, 30 sec people’s chair, 15 wall push-ups 15 donkey kicks
Jog to the second playground, 12 pull-ups, 20 incline Merkins, 20 dips
Repeat circuit
Indian run around the soccer field and parking lot
Parking lot suicides, 1015 20 Merkens, 1015 20 squats, 2025 30 little baby crunch
Six minutes of Mary: flutter, dolly, Bicycle, Russian twist, pike sit up
I tried offer a water break, most of which ended up on squids head. I think everyone left ready to enjoy the weekend
Go Bucks!
19 Pax were curious to see if we really would try to run a 16-mile roundtrip in 45 minutes, and instead kicked the teeth off the Gaywind Hill (hee hee..).
The Thang
NMM
Who is that tearing into the parking lot with only 2 minutes to spare?! Oh, me. #Cobains
Quick #HairbandMile
COP
SSH x 15
IW x 15
Mountain Climbers x 20
Windmills x 10
Grab your bells and line up for
The Thang
Two 45lb plates on the line, behind each imagine 2 squares, use the parking spaces as a guide.
PAX 1 at the front does hairburners to the island and back. (YOU ARE THE TIMER)
PAX 2 in square just behind him does 2 handed swings with kb
PAX 3 (behind PAX2) does flutter press w/kb
When Pax 1 is done go to back square and everyone move up. Continue this until all have done hairburners.
Next round
P1 Overhead plate walk to island and back, keep core tight!
P2 curls
P3 tricep extension
Round 3
Repeato!
Round 4
P1s Walk with plates to island and partner up with other PAX for 20 WWII sit ups, passing a plate back and forth.
P2 squat thrusters
P3 good mornings
Round 5
P1 plate core twist
P2 Halos
P3 clean & press
Repeato
6MOM
Flutter
Backscratcher in honor of the MIA Countertop
Done!
Moleskin
Great work by all! I borrowed the plates from Alf and what a difference compared to Double E’s! These actually slide! But that doesn’t mean it’s easier, it forces you to balance more to control your speed. Bernanke found out the hard way as he about face planted.
Honestly while we worked muscles a little differently on purpose, I do kind of regret not getting another round or two of hairburners to get the smoke factor up a few notches. Oh well, there is always next time!
Announcements
Good report from the doctors on Glass Joe’s M. But some continued prayers needed. Continued prayers for my job situation.
Lamont’s family
Great work and always an honor to lead!
Aye!
20 PAX ventured out on a balmy Monday morning to get their week off on the right foot. When Floor Slapper arrived and I was not in the middle of the COP I wondered if I was starting late, so a short disclaimer and we were ready to go.
COP:
SSH 15x, 5 merkins OYO, IW 15x, 10 wide arm merkins OYO, LSS 15x,15 merkins OYO, Mountain Climber 15x
The Thang:
Grab a lifting rock, then to the field, to use the light poles as guides for 11s. Round 1: shoulder press and LBCs. Round 2: curls and flutter.
Put the rock back and mosey to a hill for Jacobs Ladder. 2 rounds: squat jump and jack squat.
Abandon the hill and mosey to the playground for some push-pulls, only time for 1 round of 11s: pull ups and incline merkins
Finish at the playground, walk to the row of trees next to our launch point for plank. At each tree hold the called plank for 30 seconds. Regular plank, elbow plank, 6-inches, reverse plank, right arm high, left arm high and done.
Announcements:
Pop Tart is collecting contributions for The Matrix sponsorship for F3 Golf. Any amount is welcome.
F3 Dads at Panthers practice field (Play 60 event) has been cancelled.
Moleskin:
Great to see a mix of the regulars (Squid, Pop Tart, OT), new faces (Tae Bo, Farvah, Pat Down, Brexit) and cameo appearances of veterans (McGee, Body Bag, Heart Breaker).
As always, it was an honor to lead The Matrix this morning.
YHC wanted to bring low mileage to the ‘High Intensity’ DZ workout. Mainly due to the fact that YHC doesn’t care to run to Charlotte Catholic, and doesn’t want to visit The Lauren Conrad. So in order to bring high intensity, and have everyone get their money’s worth without putting down 4+ miles – I had to find items around the house I could bring and lift. Good thing Home Depot carries 12 ft. 6×6 posts! …and Poptart letting me borrow his kitchen cabinet handles.
What we did:
Mosey @ track – circle up at basketball courts: SSH x 20; IW x 20
2 man teams / pain stations (have equal amount of stations per teams – I’ll work in if odd # of pax)
All pax AMRAP until a team completes lap @ track with post – go until all teams do a lap with the post.
Pain Stations (Thanks Fault Line for the recommendation to shift stations once the team with the post makes half way around the track).
– Hammer curls w/4×6
– Overhead press with 12 ft post
– Bent row w/ sandbag
– Reverse fly w/bricks
– Man-maker merkins w/bricks
– Thrusters with sandbags
– Partner sit ups with sandbag: Reach back with sandbag, sit up and pass coupon between partner.
Lunge Walk from one end of the basketball court passing brick between legs. If brick falls to the ground – 5 burpees. Lunge walk back.
Form 2 lines for Indian Run around track with one sandbag passed back per line. Thanks to Bounce for the recommendation.
Circle for LBC X 100
Moleskin:
– Pre-run by BRR runners: today worked well for them to get a full body workout both aerobic and anaerobic.
– YHC thinks that it was the most humid day of the year. We were all sweating after the warmup mosey.
– Voodoo brought an FNG – Welcome Bloomers. He might or might not have spilled Merlot. I hope he does come back.
– My twin brother wore the same shirt so no one could tell us apart except for the headband.
– Thanks to Fault Line and Bounce for the recommendations / variants to the workout.
– Higher than normal pax posting DZ today. I hope everyone enjoyed it. I lead again 9/17 and plan to bring everything out again. I’ll polish up the clunkiness of some of the stations and details.
– We have a lot of brothers and sisters hurting. Please keep them all in your prayers: Glass Joe, Hops, Stump Hugger, McGee.
– Thanks for letting me lead Dear Abby and Buttermaker. That was fun.
Announcements:
– F3 Dads – NFL Play 60 canceled. SOB’s are still running F3 Dads so post there instead.
– F3 Golf still open for signups
– Keep praying for Olive from Isotope. We will be having a toy drive for Levine’s Children’s Hospital this Christmas. Let’s make it huge – F3 Style. Hairball and Voodoo on Q for this.
Posted on behalf of Muppet (QIC):
A total of 44 Dads and their 2.0s showed up at the BullRing for YHC’s VQ. Fitting that the VQ took place at F3Dads, because F3Dads is where YHC made his first appearance at F3.
The Thang:
We circled up at the BullRing for some warmups:
10 SSH
10 IW
5 Daddy Elevators (YHC’s 2.0s all want to do it at the same time so modifications were welcome)
5 Jack Webbs
After the warmup, we moseyed walked down to large lower field to see the main events. After a failed countoff of 1s and 2s, the rules for the first game of Dodgeball were explained. The main difference was that if you had a ball you were not to run with the ball, you had to throw it. We played 3 rounds of Dodgeball in which Messi (Bunker’s 2.0) pretty much dominated all three rounds.
After Dodgeball was over, YHC explained the next game was to be Kickball: Dads v. 2.0s. Rule change: Dads have to kick with the non-dominant foot and instead of running the bases, the Dads had to bearcrawl the bases. After the kids batted twice and the Dads once, we ambled back up to BullRing for COT.
Moleskine:
Announcements:
A strong nine-man team of renegade rednecks at the Outland this morning, eager to partake in a highly anticipated beatdown of elephantine proportions.
Couple of pre-runners – GJ for 5 and myself for 2.5. Completely soaked in sweat before the workout starts – check.
THANG:
1/2 mile mosey down the sidewalk over to the High School. Stayed far out enough in front to mute the complaints. Madison selected as initial Q whisperer.
COP in strange territory – HS front parking lot. Warmup exercises by the main road to the chagrin of the pax and the amusement of the passersby. Think we mixed in a few burpees as well. Goal was to stretch the legs, as we would be doing quite a bit of running for the remaining time.
SSH
LSS
Prying Squat
Merkins
Windmills
Monkey Humpers all facing the road
Line up for some #tree-cer-size sprints. Sprint the length of the main parking lot, stopping at each tree for 7 reps, with a long sprint back to the start from the last tree
Squats
LBC
Merkins
Lunges
Nipplers
Something else?
Mosey to the HS back parking lot, dodging the student driver-in-training learning how to text, smoke, and eat a honeybun at the same time. Short COP with some forgettable Mary to let the pax catch up.
Line up for the Drippy Monkey, a nice little variation on the #monkeymile theme that we all love so much.
Run 0.75 miles at AYG pace, down the student driver dragstrip with a hard right towards the picnic tables near the bus lot. A nice stack of cold bottle water awaits the pax at this Pokemon Gym, but instructions are that the lead pax are to perform 10 merkins on arrival and return for the six. Once all have arrived, a 90sec water break is the prize. Lead pax get a full mile in, while the guys bringing up the rear consume a pro-rated ration.
After the water break, during which everyone slammed back an entire bottle of water, partner up for some long suicides. Each team to select an exercise for the whole group. P1 runs the length of the bus lot (125 yds?) and back while P2 does exercise. Flapjack and switch to the next team.
LBC
Squats
Lunges
Planks
Jump Lunges
Circle up for some final Mary to close this one out
Dolly
Rosalita
MOLESKIN:
Golly Gee Willikers – that was a lot of sweat. I consumed probably 2 liters of water before 8AM, and I’m pretty sure it all ended up on the pavement.
TClaps to Hairband for fartsacking the workout so he could leave for a hiking trip at noon, and then posting timestamped pictures on twitter to remove all doubt.
What happened to Countertop? Does he still F3? When I return to Outland after many weeks away, I expect him to be there waiting on me, you know.
I have gotten fat and slow during my recent weeks off while the pax have gotten lean and mean. Nice view from the rearward midsection of the pax during the Monkey. I still almost harfed. Glass Joe led the way, but tainted his victory with some obvious cheating on the route. Upon video review, it was decided that nobody wants to watch videos of Glass Joe run, so we threw the whole thing out.
Jabberwocky hanging in there, and holding tightly on to his breakfast this time. Twas brillig, and the slithy toves. Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome rathes outgrabe.
Woody powering through with some obvious heel pain. Hang in there.
Good to have our newest recruit, Pikachu. Former UNCC Baseball player, with a long history of injury, but a great attitude. He said he’d be back – we’ll look forward to it.
Had to skip coffeeteria, so didn’t get to see what kind of breakfast concoction TLS had whipped up. Didn’t miss it.
Lots of rumblings from the normally quiet and kind Shepherd about the all-pavement workout selection from today. Apparently, he longs for green pastures of goose droppings on the practice fields. . Perhaps next week my bearded friend.
Until then,
– HH
Six strong, including a recent transfer from NoCO (welcome Shoe – Repsect) gathered to get Saturday started off right. As da Vinci was an architect and engineer, in addition to numerous other areas of interest, YHC thought it appropriate to bring some pavers in honor man the AO’s is named afters. With Mighty Mite and YHC battling injury/cold, I decided to modify my plan and run less – smart call.
The Thang:
COP – SSH, Merkins, CDD, Mtn Climbers, and slow squats
Mosey to Q’s SUV and each PAX grab two pavers from the trunk. Mosey over to corner of Harris Teeter for some Bermuda Triangle. Run to other HT corner and perform 20 push presses, run to other side of McCallisters and perform 10 man maker merkins with pavers, run pack to start/finish line and perform 10 squats. Repeat. Next two rounds included 20 LBC’s, 10 dollies, and 10 flutters.
Mosey around to the fountain for some wall work. 10 jump ups, 10 dips, and 10 incline merkins. Repeat.
Mosey down to new fangled fancy play ground for some circuit work. 50 pull ups, 100 sit ups, and 200 push presses (break it up anyway you want).
Mosey to front of now defunct Tri Sports for some core work. Protractor with legs and arms out holding pavers. A little more core work before we head back to SUV to drop off the pavers (enough of those)
Due to lingering summer cold, Q hands of to Mic Check for last 15 minutes. Stair work on other side of shopping center while Mighty Might and YHC relax in the parking lot and lick our wounds.
Naked Moleskin – Small group today but everyone pushed hard. Joy was sporting some fancy cargo shorts for his workout – I think he thought we were playing golf. Shoe is moving to S Charlotte and joined us as well. Strong work for a Respect and great to have you. Soft Pretzel and Mic Check were out front on the triangle work and the circuit with pull ups pushed everyone (we don’t do enough pull ups in F3). Mighty Might is nursing a really bad ankle and it didn’t look like fun.
Appreciate the invite from Tuck to Q. This was my first visit. Very urban and flat AO. All concrete. Not one of my more memorable Q’s given the cold I’m fighting but I got my money’s worth #iamfirst
Announcements – Too late now but F3 Dads was at nine am, Check web site for future events.