So… Fusebox was kind enough to ask me to Q Chiseled a few Saturdays while he had me cornered at coffeeteria with no other option but to say yes. In my reflection of the conversation, I really don’t remember it being phrased so much as a question but more of a voluntold sort-of thing. In any case, this would turn out to be my first Q of the site. I had been on the schedule before but I believe business travel plans or an injury prevented me from actually following through and had to bow out. I’m glad I was afforded an opportunity to follow through with my previous commitment. Now, for my VQ of Chiseled today I was a little nervous that I wouldn’t be able to complete most of the exercises I had drawn up on the ole weinke. (Gear focused bootcamp with running). I made it a point to make them difficult, (for me at least), and to not do as much running as I typically call for in my weinke’s at other AO’s but just enough to get the hearts pumping. At the end of most sets of coupon exercises I found myself unable to do just one more of anything and we clocked just over 1.5 miles today so I think I managed to hit my goals. I was very skeptical that anyone besides Fusebox would be joining me today as it was forecast to be cold and rainy this morning. It was a little chilly at the start but quickly warmed up once we got moving and the rain held off for “most” of the morning’s weinke except the final 10 mins or so…
Warmorama: Mosey to other end of parking lot and stop for 20 X SSHs, continue mosey to entrance and stop for 20 X IWs, continue mosey to the back lot and grabbed some strategically placed coupons out of my Truck that just happened to be parked right there… then circled up under the tent for some stretching. All of the popular stretches were done and added arm and shoulder for selfish reasons as I knew I would need them momentarily.
Thang:
All About the Benjamins (the tent version) – 25 curls, 20 lunge walk steps (supposed to be 25 but the tent was only so wide so had to modify to 10 down and 10 back), R/R X 1 then change the coupon exercise to Tricep Extensions, R/R X 1, (I will pause here to tell you to ask Fusebox why he knows he wasn’t meant to be a body builder based on a comment by Arnold Schwarzenegger as I believe this was the timeframe he told us and it is not really something I want to repeat or document. I think I’ve already said to much and will definitely have nightmares for a while just thinking about it) Bent over rows, R/R X 1. All in all, 5 round trips of lung walks for total of 100 steps.
Coupon swings X 25, 10 count recovery, R/R Coupon swings X 25
Return coupons to the truck and mosey to back parking lot for some partner work around Mt. Chiseled
P1 does called exercise to failure or until P2 returns from a mosey around Mt. Chiseled. Stagger Merkin Right Hand on curb/Left hand on Curb on second round (It is about this point where the kiss of death came in the form of “I’m thinking this about the weather and I won’t say it out loud so I won’t jinx it” (or something like that…) (….Meanwhile as the rain started coming down in pellets rather than flurries…) then Staggered Squat L/R then Irkin/Derkin. Mosey the wrong long way back to COT.
Nice to see Rudy out this morning. Haven’t seen him in a while but this is the second time this week. I wasn’t aware of his back injury and hope it heals quick! Chainsaw (Double Respect) out there giving us young bucks a little something to aspire to. Loafer is posting a lot more these days and noticeably faster. Exlax is crushing it with consistency. Keep showing up brother! You’re getting your wind and before long you’ll be running circles around everyone. Fusebox crushing the Express yesterday and showing out today. Not only with work but with the chatter as he provided 100% of the BB reflected materials. But again, you’ll need to ask him about why he is not a body builder. I’m not repeating it… EVER!!!
Announcements:
Clean up in downtown this Saturday immediately following the workouts at 8:00 am and coffeeteria to follow. Bring blowers, rakes, brooms and wear high-vis gear.
YHC took us out
3 pax took shelter from the cold rain in the Hot Box at Calvary. Someone had kindly moved the picnic tables out of the way to create a large, open space for us to distance ourselves. The Q was right on time, which equates to being a little late when bells and other gear need to be carried to the workout location. #QFail#1
Warm up:
As we were about to get started, in rolled Flipper and Point Break. As the only 2 pax to post at Anvil on this miserable day, they figured they’d join us for a bit. Bells were distributed and we got started.
Main Event:
Set 1:
Set 2:
The plan was to repeato sets 1 and 2 8 times to hit 240 swings. 20 swings in warm-up + 240 swings in the main event is 260 swings, which is 10 too many. #QFail#2 It also turned out that all these exercises took too much time, so after doing 3 rounds of sets 1 and 2, we had taken up too much time and only done 110 swings. #QFail#3 For the next 4 rounds, we did 30 2-handed swings instead of the 15 1-handed swings. We wrapped up with 1 round of 10 1-handed swings to get to an even 250 swings for the workout.
After the first round through, Point Break and Flipper made a break for it, returning after the swings were over for a little Mary (1:00 each):
COT – Thanks to Flipper for taking us out.
Announcements:
Moleskine:
9 skunks with frozen bells in their trunks
Smokey, Chicken Wing, Lois, Yeti, Madison, Victoria, Lex, Horsehead, missing 1
Thang:
Warmup run to the old parking lot and back to check for stragglers.
Warmup COP – every KB exercise the Q could muster plus some bonus
Swing / Run (m)
7s on the Lacrosse Hill – squat thrusts / frosty merkins
Swing / Merkin
Out of time
Skin:
Since we are closing this year out with a flaming fart, here’s a list of 11 things I hate:
I’m not going out like that, so here are 12 things that I do like
As for the workout, it was pretty fun. We all got a good sweat on and kept the heart rates elevated for the most part. KBs are cold. So was the grass at the top of the hill.
Next week is the annual Skunk who Stole Christmas. Don’t miss out. If you don’t know what this is all about, you just need to show up and find out in person. Be prepared for a slight twist this year to make it a little more fun for everyone.
your pal,
Horsehead
PS: No passports were harmed during this workout
For more local AO’s, YHC sets the alarm for 5:06… Yes that 1 minute makes all the difference… Except for when it doesn’t and 1 minute somehow turns into 21. not sure how, but I somehow awoke at 5:25… Quickly bounced out of bed, shot a text out that I would be coming in HOT!!!! Throw on the hoodie, get to the car…Crap window is a sheet of ice.. Roll out peaking through the small defrosted area and see the pax starting a mosey… I ran to catch them and meat just in time to start warmups…
Bed to Bushwood MES= 6 minutes
Warmup:
Pax= mosey, Q =sprint past Mashers with a quick wave of embarrassment, then catch PAX. Catch a quick breath and begin warmups. SSH/IW/(arm wobble thing I can’t remember name of at the moment) Mountain Climbers 18 IC, Calf stretch and runners stretch.
Thang:
A few weeks back YHC started this thang but was not able to finish, so we went ahead and switched up the workout so we could hit the hard stuff with a little less running and switching from team to individual… this was more like a Diesel workout. Head over to Coupon rack and pick your poison. Back nine holes in lot. LSD’s with 18 reps after each of the 4 distances for 72 stroke par on each round.
Mosey back to COT with minute to spare, 18 LBC IC, 18 Fluters IC, protractor to finish.
Moleskin:
Big thanks to Fiji and OneStar for kicking off the Mosey.. Not quite sure they even saw my text or not.. Welcome back Noonan after a little while off.
As I was a little disheveled, needed to go over exercises a few times to go through order. There were a lot of exersiczes that may not have been done in a while and the PAX were feeling the burn. Lets see how the shoulders and abs feel tomorrow after Raises, Shrugs and Hernias. Definitely hear more than a few grunts, but all worked through with honors.
Announcements:
After running with the Ignition crowd yesterday I wasn’t feeling a high mileage workout today. Instead I decided to punish our arms and shoulders. A few audibles were made because I put some stupid ideas on the weinke.
FNG identified. DiCCS provided with extra emphasis on the “modify as needed” part. That was intended for the FNG but I think all took it to heart
Warmup
Quick mosey around the loop then a circle up for SSH, Imperial Walkers, Moroccan Night Clubs, Jimmy Dugans, Calf Stretches, and the Glidah Can Opener.
The Thang
Moleskin
45 Burpees, 115 Merkins (of varying sorts), plus a bunch of plank-style exercises (Mountain Climbers, In-and-Outs, and just a good ol’ Plank) mean everyone’s shoulders should be feeling pretty good right about now. Sorry if you were planning on going to Chiseled tomorrow. Mileage was right at 2, like I planned. Welcome to FNG Door Dash, thusly named due to working for Reinhart food supplier.
Announcements
Waxhaw Clean Up this Saturday immediately following the standard workouts. Coffeeteria at Crossroads AFTER
We’ve all been there before. Men, we’re just not good at managing time outside of the essential four walls of our family structure. That’s typically why we get married. To share the work and maybe few other reasons. So what do we do… we never learn and here we are again, one week and a half from the nation’s, nay the world’s most overdone holiday and… we have still not shopped for a single person.
Lucky for us there are wonderful tributes to the capitalist gods like Blakeney Shopping Center, where literally there is a Target one mile from another. Now that’s progress on a Starbucks level. But I digress. This is not a tale of anger and discouragement about our current state of affairs but merely a metaphor for the work we set out to tackle in this week’s edition of FIRESTARTER. AKA the rising phoenix of Genesis. So with no FNGs and a moderate disclaimer stated we set out for a shopping trip like no other.
Lil mosey out to Rea and down AK to circle up in the sun god of money storage’s parking lot to make a withdrawal/overdraft for our whirlwind tour. All the usual were performed. Silly saddle looking hops (that no one likes), star wars themed knee raises, merkins (velvet or not, you choose), super slow squats for the ladies and awkward looking horizontal climbing moves. Feeling fully warm, confident and our pockets flush with cashishe we headed over to take care of the “youngins” first.
Amazingly, there is a toy store, Justice (or like I like to pronounce it “Just Us”) and Old Navy all within 100 yards. Coincidence? I think not. Focusing on the upper body so we can get that picture perfect “kid toss in the air” photo on xmas morning while all wearing our matching pjs was on the list. With 5 rows of parking spaces (get used to this format) we allowed for 10 Carolina Dry Docks on each end. 100 of those smokers later and we were ready to impress the M and her friends with bulging traps, delts and necks. Plankity plank plank to wait on the six, cause bros stick together. Kids – CHECK
Next up – parents. Home Goods it is, although I heard an audible for the ABC store. Agreed! But here we are and Mom’s been talking something special up for the dining room and we might as well get Dad some weird holiday beer/glass gift box while we’re here. And since our parents are you know, old, we took care to remember our core while doing WW2 situps. John Wayne was smiling down on us as each row we sat down and laid in the cold wet puddles to the sound of wet backs slurping up and down on the ground. Taco seemed to feel right at home for more reasons than one. V up while we wait. 100 soggy bottom situps later we had taken care of the Rents.
Now we all have that debate in our families, if you have siblings. Will we buy for each other this year? What about all the nieces and nephews? My god why did Jimmy and Sara have 12 kids? Should we draw names? Secret Santa? Dirty Santa… ohhhhhhhh naughty. Well, what ever you do there’s a place that can satisfy all your needs for what ever situation you end up in. And that place’s name is TARGET, or Tar-Jay as the french say it. More squats were done than was needed for training to walk up and down or back and forth from floor to floor or outdoors to inside at your sister’s McMansion or your in-law’s hobby farm on xmas day. Al Gore snuck in too. Sibs – Done and DONE!
We took a quick break to grab a slice of pizza hut and a Starbucks Mocha Frappuccino to help keep the energy up and the eyes on the prize, cause guess what? That special person, the LOML is last on the list. And even though she says, “I have everything I need and just want the whole family to be together for Christmas.”, you know that’s a trap like Admiral Akbar in Return of the Jedi. Well, maybe not a trap, but a beautiful part of her “mystery”. So what do we do? We get some Jeggings/yoga pants/pj bottoms (death wish), the newest Buffalo Plaid oversized shirt/vest/scarf thing (doing better), a giftcard (safe but insensitive) and a new frying pan (you wanna die for real) to replace that old worn out one with that teflon scrapping off. (Darn kids using the metal spatula) Oh yeah, I almost forgot, she said something about pampered chef things too. Where the devil is that isle? Jokes on you brother. Grinding out some J-Los to get that “my body’s to bootylicious” form, incidentally One Star is wheelhouse at this maneuver, helped us to identify with the “struggle” of doing ridiculous looking ab work. Some LBCs added to the early finishers fun.
With one final lot on the schedule I knew what needed to be done. A wink, a nod and 100 Monkey Humper salute (#crowdpleaser) to this fine establishment and all its wonderful offerings. Until we meet again next year. Wall sit and Arm Raises to finish it off. It was at this time Midriff almost lost a shoe to a triceratops sized pile of poo which we couldn’t decide on a species for. #everybodypoops
Mosey on back home but wait, the day is not over. A last minute request for those Pilsbury crescent rolls or some other equally important dinner item is needed and you alone are the only person within 500 miles who can save the day. With our F3 logos bering proudly from our manly and chiseled chests we stopped off at the HARRIS TEETER (insert echo) to save Christmas!! Only it turned into a race of catch me if you can ’cause they are all out of rolls and we’re looking for any Hail Mary to get the win. Burpee and go catch that King’s Hawaiian roll before it’s gone baby. (It’s in the bakery section, or on an endcap, because they know. And don’t stop to look at the overpriced craft beer!)
Mission accomplished! We saved our A$$, maxed out the Mastercard and did it again. We did all the shopping in one day. And I can’t wait to do it all over again next year. Cause you know we will. It’s like a drug.
PS: Tks to the mustang for coming in hot and nearly plowing us while in our vulnerable positions. Reminder: the money machine starts before 6am. Beware.
NMM: While this is a fun and satirical post, some may feel it hits close to home. It certainly does for me. But it serves as a reminder that we are here to do more than satisfy simple physical needs and check boxes everyday.
We’re here to serve.
As men of leadership and faith it is essential that we serve. It helps us maintain momentum and focus on what is most important. Find your opportunity. Think about it. Pray about it. Then be led to it. We are Freed to Lead, if we embrace it. This is the purpose of F3.
Tks to MK and Teddy for allowing me to demonstrate bad habits and lead you into questionable situations. Always a pleasure.
God Bless men, and have a safe and happy holiday.
DICCS- given to include social distance
Warm up
Mosey down trail up towards fields and circle up around island-
Monster walk, 20- SHH, 20 Pull knees up to chest, upward dog, downward dog, upward dog , downward dog, can opener into runners pose– recover
Mosey by fields and up to Stop Light across from Champion Forest.
Cross Road to Champion Forest…..
Once we crossed the road you could see the gazelle’s start fiending a little– They were shaking and wide eye wanting to know want was in store. It was like trying to hold a horse back once in the gates—- I slowly explained what we would be doing and this was the last time I saw them for 10-12 minutes– they were off— I think Hurry and Tool Tool spun shoe tread taking off.
THE THANG
Down Wayneswood stop at every light on your left -9-10 lights and complete
10- Bonnie Blairs ( never ever ever again) I am retiring them officially and 1 burpee
At the two side roads mosey down them and at the cul-de sac complete 10 Mike Tysons and 10 Dry Docks.
Once at the end of Wayneswood complete 10 Bonnie Blairs, 1 burpee, 10 Mike Tysons and 10 Dry Docks
Mosey up to Dobson stop sign and complete the following out to the entrance
10- Jump Squats and 1 burpee
While strolling down Dobson turn onto Chisolm and go to cul-de sac and while admiring Fuse Boxes x-mas lights complete 10 Mike Tyson’s and 10 Dry Docks
When at entrance complete 10 Jump Squats- 1 Burpee and add 10 Mike Tysons and 10 Dry Dock
Cross over road and head down by the fields and up to the benches near the cafeteria- the long way. This is when I heard Bottlecap chirping there was a shorter route Chicken!! I politely asked him step off!! I know the routes here but I am trying to feed the crazy of mileage crack to the junkies if you do not mind… duh.. I did not want them to broil or roast me if their fix was not enough.
While at benches once Bottlecap calms down complete
25- Dips/20 Dips leg out and 20 Dips other leg out
Mosey around School to front of high School
15- Incline merkins/10 Incline Merkins leg out and 10 incline merkins other leg out
Mosey to front of middle school for more Dips
25- Dips/20 Dips leg out and 20 Dips other leg out
Mosey to COT for one hot lap around before circling up.
Moleskin
As always I love leading this group of men and when Hollywood ask me to Q I jumped at the opportunity. Ignition is a changing site to Q as you have to find a balance of keeping the PAX somewhat together while also feeding into the mile junkies so they do not go into shutdown mode and start fiending for the drugs. Today we had a great balance of gazelles ( crackheads) , newbies, and guys that are on the borderline of becoming a junkie. I had this master plan of slowing the gazelles down while also getting them mileage with the Bonnie Blairs/Burpees and Jump Squats/Burpees, unfortunately that failed miserably and instead of slowing them down it actually put in perspective how much further behind NORMAL people are off their STUPID, RIDULCOUS AND INSANE pace.. Few call outs from today
Ricky Bobby and Schneider- I appreciate you two coming out and popping your cherry at Ignition, from a few text I received it looks like we are no longer friends and I have crossed the line– Sorry boys please do not hold this against me– beers this weekend on me???
Zinfandel– Nothing like hearing the Sexy Smoking voice yelling at the Gazelles this morning around the 5:37 mark to let them know form Police are everywhere. When you said in a very loud way — ” Do not be scared to go all the down on your merkins ——no wonder ya’ll are always ahead” I laughing my ass off in between dry heaving.. good stuff.
Chastain– Hope you feel better brother- when your running next to my slow ass I know your in pain- rest up young lad and get back up to the front
Carb Load, Premature, and Sugar Daddy– thanks as always for the support and you 3 crushed it today.. I love our TEAM .
Hurry and Tool Time— WTF?? do you two compete at the workouts- pretty sure you two race each during the workouts and from what I could see from 3/4 of mile back you two where in BEAST MODE ALL DAY.
To you other crackheads- Bottlecap, Easy Button, Dasher, Gerber, Hollywood and ICE9 – I hope you got the workout and mileage you needed to satisfy your craving until your next fix.
Annoucements
Thanks to Rockwell for taking us out
Clean up downtown Saturday
Carb Load – 6th man
Everything else Rockwell included with Flash BB
This was a bit of a last-minute Q for me and with the threat of rain I pulled out a 2-year-old workout that would keep us mostly undercover. Yes, Mad Dog and Recalculating… that workout was from 2 years ago! Can you believe that? The good news is it didn’t rain. The bad news is the workout was no cake walk!
60 degrees in mid-December! Let’s go!
The disclaimer was given, and we were off…
Here’s what went down:
Warm Up Mosey around the school
Warm Up Exercises
SSH x 25
Imperial Walker x 20
Mountain Climber x 20
Plank Jack x 20
3 ROUNDS OF THIS:
Front of school (under covered area) – Donkey Kicks x 20, Merkins x 20, Jump Squats x 20
Run to back of school – on the way (and back) Bear Crawl length of covered sidewalk
Back of school (under covered area) – Dips x 20, Step Ups x 20, Derkins x 20
Mosey to steps at the high school
2 ROUNDS OF THIS:
At top of steps by wall – Mike Tysons x 20, V-Ups x 20, Speed Skaters x 20 (1 is 1)
Run loop down the sidewalk and up the stairs – At bottom of stairs do 1 Burpee
Mosey to the front of the middle school for Air Presses and Jabs on the wall
Back to COT
Done!
Great push by everyone this morning! The Bear Crawls were brutal! Also, thanks to Zinfandel for making a surprise guest appearance halfway through the workout! I know I always say this but it’s an honor each time I get to lead this group of great men.
Announcements:
A trio of wise men gathered for a heavenly multitude of swings.
Swing Set
90 seconds each set
10 two-handed swings
8 push-ups
10 single-arm (weak side) swings
4 sit-ups with bell
10 single-arm (strong side) swings
8 push-ups
10 alternating swings
8 sit-ups with bell
10 American swings
8 push-ups
x 5
300 swings
96 sit-ups
96 push-ups
Weighted Carries
Farmer carry to deadlift high pulls x 5
Waiter carry to lawn mower x 5
Core
Elbow plank – 1 min
Hollow body hold – 1 min
Glute bridge – until time (not very long)
Setlist
1 Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight) ~ Ramones
2 Fairytale of New York (feat. Kirsty MacColl) ~ The Pogues
3 Merry Xmas Everybody ~ Slade
4 The Christmas Song ~ The Raveonettes
5 Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) ~ Darlene Love
6 Oi To The World! ~ The Vandals
7 Christmas Vacation ~ Descendents
8 Hark! The Herald Angels Sing ~ Bad Religion
9 A Christmas Duel ~ The Hives w/ Cyndi Lauper
10 Happy Xmas (War Is Over) ~ The Polyphonic Spree
11 Father Christmas~ The Kinks
12 Christmas Tree On Fire ~ Holly Golightly
13 We Three Kings ~ The Reverend Horton Heat
14 The Night Santa Went Crazy ~ “Weird Al” Yankovic
Moleskine
The holidays are about hope. Today, the first wave of COVID-19 vaccines arrived to facilities across the US. Thank you to the very smart people who worked on the formula, the brave volunteers who participated in the trial and the logistics team and drivers for getting this valuable cargo to its destination. We are going to get through this year and better days are on the way.
Proverbs 13:12 Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
Mosey around the lot. Typical Popeye warmup
15x SSH
15x Merkin
15x SSH
15x Imperial Walkers
15x SSH
15x Mountain climbers
15x SSH
15x Plank-jacks
Stretches… calf, duggan’s, up to Moroccan nightclubs
Grab the blocks, rifle carry to Mt. Chiseled, take 3 breaks to do 5 block swings each.
Partner up, do the Chesty Chiseled
One partner runs around Mt. Chiseled as a timer. The other does the exercise
Chest Press with the block
Inclined Chest Press with the block (lay on the hill, head up)
Declined Chest Press with the block (lay on the hill, head down)
Do this twice.
Group of four, Leggy Chiseled
Three rounds four exercises, cycle through
Jump over the blocks left to right
Foot release squats off the block
Lunges
Murder bunnies up Mt Chiseled (the timer)
Some time left
10 Arms to heaven (ask your friends, it’s awesome)
10 Flutters with blocks
Three rounds
Rifle carry back to COT, stop three times for a 5x swing break
40 secons left, curls to the end
Moleskine
Late backblast I know. For those looking for inspiration, sorry I was late. For those looking for credit, not sorry at all. Men are tested not when watched, but when no glory will ever be known.