***News Flash***News Flash***News Flash***News Flash***
Oppressive humidity descends upon Area 51 like a wool blanket for the 1,000th day in a row!!! Will it ever end??? Story at 11:00…
Speaking of 11, this is the number of PAX who marshaled in the South Charlotte Middle School parking lot at zero dark thirty to receive a sweat laden beat down of the moderate variety. After a ridiculously inadequate disclaimer (which contained ZERO mention of safety), YHC led the PAX into the murky gloom.
COP — Gateway Academy Parking Lot
All exercises in cadence, 10 reps each — LSS, IW, Ascending Merkins, Lunges, Plank Jacks (or was that later?). Finished with a gluteus maximus stretch. For past Q’s, YHC’s Weinkes were thorough and written out on a yellow legal pad. 3 years into this F3 thing, YHC figured it was time to pare down the Weinke and “wing it”, so to speak. #veteran Forgive the fuzzy memory, as it has been 15 hours since the workout.
Mosey to Alexis ‘hood for the Main Event.
Home base: McPherson and Wyman tee intersection. Run to each of the 4 cul-de-sacs, one at a time, perform called exercise, return to home base, Mary. Merkins, Jump Squats, WA Merkins, Burpees (nice touch at the top of McCallum aka Hamburger Hill).
Mosey to 51 and Strawberry Lane. 10 ea. Descending Merkins. Continue mosey to SCMS rock pile and grab a lifting rock.
Curls, Shoulder Press, Tricep Extension – 10 IC. Run to baseball field bleachers, return to rocks. Thrusters – 10 IC. Return rocks.
Mosey to SCMS baseball field. Starting at home plate, run to RF foul pole. 5 burpees. Return to home plate. Run to LF foul pole. 5 burpees. Return to home plate. Speed trials around the bases. 1x each direction.
Note: YHC briefly recounted the story of his 2.0’s recent triumph at the Dixie Youth Majors World Series in Ruston, LA (12U age group). The final score in the championship game was North Carolina 5, Florida 0. Henceforth, exercises on the baseball field with “5” burpees and the subsequent title to this backblast. The poles were a nice touch as they reminded YHC of his glory days running poles at McClintock Junior HS as the baseball coach berated YHC for lacking speed. “I can measure your time from home to first with a sun dial.” One of YHC’s personal favorites.
Mosey to top of concrete stairs. Mary until YHC’s Timex Indigo no frills watch read 11:15. Done.
Moleskinny
Solid work by all PAX today. Mumble chatter was light, effort was strong, complaints were minimal. A goal of a YHC Q is to keep the PAX together as much as possible to slyly mix in ample 2nd F. Mission accomplished. Since no MASH PAX joined Hopper today, the ageless wonder happily joined the BC PAX for the festivities. Great to have you, brother. Proudly joining the Respect Ranks were Mr. Magoo and Snowflake, all 3 of whom got after it this morning.
Hannibal mentioned prior to launch that he reluctantly chose Base Camp over his regular Monday stop since YHC was on Q, which was no doubt in honor of our 1984 Queen City Doubles championship. Bring the trophy next time, Hannibal. The PAX will love it.
Geraldo is sneaky fast, and wants so badly for his Mets to win the Wild Card. Not so fast, my friend. Go Braves.
It was YHC’s first time posting with Man Tooth, who drove northward to join the fun. Pleasure meeting you, brother.
Clover has to be on Cloud 9 since his beloved Irish cracked the preseason Top 10. Aren’t you a Duke grad, too? Prepare yourself mentally for the Bama beatdown on Aug. 31st. #thisaintbasketball
Jello planted the shovel flag in the hard scrabble SCMS red clay. Thank you for the opportunity to lead.
Sardine was wholly unimpressed with the Weinke. “You get a ‘D’ for creativity.” Kind words indeed, but fairly accurate.
And lastly, Spackler runs pretty darn fast for someone who was swimming in Tito’s 8 hours prior. You just can’t hide raw athleticism.
It is always an honor to lead the finest PAX in F3.
Thanks to Snowflake for the takeout.
Announcements
Labor Day convergence at Cuthbertson High School in Union County for a new AO launch. Base Camp closed that day.
15 PAX descended onto the finest elementary school (not named Elizabeth Lane) in South Charlotte for an all out assault on the body, mind, and soul. It was 0530 Thursday, and that can only mean one thing….. Hydra. Due to the presence of a FNG (welcome, Aaron Bock), YHC delivered a disclaimer sure to go down as one of the finest oratories in F3 history. Well, maybe not the finest, but nonetheless efficient and effective. Off we went into the gloom…
YHC did not disclose to the PAX the presence of a significant neck crick on said body, because one must play through the pain when the chips are down. Think Jordan, Game 7, Flu. Or Herschel Walker with broken ribs against Notre Dame in the ’81 Sugar Bowl. Or Paul Bryant playing against Tennessee with a broken leg in 1935 (Bama won that game). You simply do what needs to be done and to hell with the consequences. Laser focused, determined, and undeterred my mumble chatter, YHC was on a mission to dispense downpainment in biblical proportions. Here is what happened.
COP
Was it long? Yes. Was it unpleasant? Oh, yes. Were you a better man for completing it? Of course you were. You’re welcome.
Brief activity schedule: Burpees (5, 4, 3, 2, 1 at strategic times — Spackler did ZERO, naturally), Merkins (Ascending, Descending, Shoulder Tap), IW, Jump Squats (explosive), Plank Jacks
Mosey down Rea to Chadwyck Farms, take Left into ‘hood, congregate at cul-de-sac for Mary, which included a much needed Runner’s Lunge stretch. Continue mosey to bottom of Evelyn’s Hill as marked by the funky farmhouse on the left plus the 18 Gigawatt street lamp. Seriously, that lamp could land the Space Shuttle back in the day (as you know, NASA has retired the shuttle; sad, but true).
Triple Nickel on Evelyn’s Hill. Wide Arm Merkins at the bottom, Wide Sumo Squats at the top. Mary when finished.
Take Left on Edenbridge and mosey to the church rock pile. Curls, Thrusters, Tricep Extensions, all x10 IC. Hot lap around the church. Semi Gloss ran the opposite direction as everyone else — there’s always one. American Hammer, Rock Presses, Staggered Merkins. Return rock. Hot lap around the church and congregate at the benches under the ol’ oak tree on the OPES campus. At this point, Spackler decided to take a short cut thru the church bog and almost got stuck in the mud, looking like a deranged swamp thing as he re-engaged the PAX. Karma’s a bitch, son.
Benches: Derkins, Dips, Step-ups
Return to Launch. Done.
Moleskin aka Random Observations
FNG Aaron Bock is seriously fast. Sprockets brought him to the workout (well done, dance party boy), and the 2 of them promptly led the running portions, along with One Eye (the ageless wonder), Marge (actively planning a guys only trip which I hear is alcohol-free and thus fun-free), Queen (decked out in his Goodwill best), and Cheese Curd (training for Badwater or something). YHC was thankful that Pop Tart called out Spackler, Semi Gloss, and other PAX for their burpee refusal. Not surprising. Spackler looked like warmed over road kill after his 3 day Gough Cup bender coupled with a trip to Little Rock / Memphis. Ridiculously poor planning, sir. Lewinsky and his bright orange Clemson shirt kept YHC company on Evelyn’s Hill, until the final ascent when Danny Ford left YHC in the dust. Puddin’ was nonstop Chatty Cathy today. Was the workout that easy?? Clover, Bugeater, and Thunder Road punched the clock and went to work, per usual. Well done, gentlemen.
Due to his speed and last name of “Bock”, FNG was named Amber, despite 11th hour pleas to the contrary via text by PAX who shall remain nameless. “Jerk Store. I’m going with Jerk Store!!” – George Costanza. Amber seemingly made it thru the workout with minimal effort, keeping under the radar, until name-o-rama when his voice cracked. Classic. Like chum in the water to this group. Welcome and hope to see you again in the gloom.
Always an honor to lead my favorite AO. Thanks to Queen and Marge for handing me the keys to this well oiled machine aka Hydra.
Take-out by YHC. Again, oratorical excellence.
Because Japanese jet lag is a vicious mother, YHC set 17 alarms to make sure this week’s edition of Base Camp was not missed. Sleep was choppy, broken, fitful which rendered YHC irritable and punch drunk albeit determined to lead the PAX thru a workout of moderately biblical proportions. As YHC turned onto Strawberry from 51, a ghostly figure who eerily resembled Goonie was seen running away from the AO. Did YHC miss the pre-run tweet, slack, or smoke signal? Apparently, Site Q attendance is optional as Goonie was never spotted again until COT, where he mysteriously emerged from the gloom. Nevertheless, here is what went down for the 11 PAX who chose to begin their week the right way.
Slow Mosey around parking lot. High knees, Karaoke left and right, butt kickers all mixed in. Any late arrivals? No, sir. Move on to the front SCMS parking lot.
COP
Right on Strawberry, 7 Merkins at each road hump, to Rosecliff. Mary to wait on the 6.
7’s on Rosecliff (YHC flew on a 777 from JFK to Tokyo and back, hence the 7 theme. Original? Hardly. Effective? Definitely.)
Mary
Mosey back towards SCMS. 7 Merkins at each road hump. Congregate at rock pile near the outside bathrooms. Mary to wait on the 6.
Pick lifting rock. Perform called exercise. Drop rock (gently). Run to the bleachers for 7 Derkins. Return to your rock. Rinse and repeat.
Mary
Mosey to basketball goals. Old fashioned suicides. Squat Hold. Plank Hold.
Done.
Moleskinny
YHC believes it was the 2nd rep of Imperial Walkers that caused Area 51 legend Gummy some issues. Evidently, the earth beneath Gummy’s feet suddenly opened up and almost swallowed him whole, as he crumbled to the ground in a Clemson heap. Hence, the BB title (use your best Howard Cosell voice; for the younger PAX, YouTube it since you have no idea who YHC is talking about). The PAX was relieved to hear Gummy chuckle, which subsequently unleashed uncontrollable laughter at his expense. “Oh man, I just fell down.” Why yes, yes you certainly did. Concern for The Accountant was obviously high since NOT ONE PAX offered to help him up, YHC included. Are we collectively missing the empathy gene? Nah, we just all needed a good laugh. Thank you, Gummy. Mission Accomplished.
Solid group effort today. This workout was in Spackler’s wheelhouse as his mumblechatter level was low and effort was high, consistently leading the PAX with Gummy, Hopper, and LaZBoy in tow. YHC’s recent 2-week Japan trip was sans exercise, hence the need to rebuild soccer arms with “meat and potatoes” exercises. Geraldo put down the ruck long enough to post and put in a sold effort. The 7’s were tough because Rosecliff is no joke, but Snoopy and Damn Gina hung in there and got it done. Thunder Road expertly performed Site Q duties by monitoring the PAX. Well done.
Always a pleasure to Q at Base Camp. Thanks to Goonie for the opportunity.
YHC has no clue who did the take out, but it must have been inspirational.
12 PAX braved chilly temperatures Thursday morning for the latest edition of Area 51’s finest AO, aka Hydra. Since a FNG was in the mix, YHC issued an emotional, thorough, and legally sound disclaimer. Off into the gloom commenced the PAX for the downpainment…
Mosey to the OPES bus parking lot. Time to get this party started…
COP
YHC’s cadence was spectacular. PAX’s count was, well, lacking. “The leads are weak.” Hops noticed the rather quiet count and rescued the PAX from slipping into a Spring Break nap by turning up the volume. Thank you, brother.
Let’s mosey. Left on Rea. Right on Windyrush. Stop at Windyrush / Windyrush intersection for Mary. Right on Windyrush (confused yet?). Stop at Windyrush / Edenbridge intersection for Mary. Right on Edenbridge. Meet by the benches under the ol’ oak tree.
Mosey to the basketball blacktop, where Hops lamented, “Should have done COP right here.” It would not be Hydra if rough pavement was not utilized. Puddin’ is probably still picking asphalt pebbles and glass shards from his hands.
Partner Up, go to opposite baselines.
Hot lap on the Windyrush / Edenbridge loop back to Launch.
Mary to wait on the 6. The local female running group was congregating in the OPES parking lot after their run, and marveling at the PAX’s fine form under YHC’s stellar Qship. That had to be it. Or, maybe they were laughing at us. Debatable. Nevertheless, Cheese Curd’s M was part of the running gaggle and thus leading the cat calls. Gut in, chest out, shoulders back…
To the baby track we go…
Done
Moleskin
Welcome to FNG Revlon (Todd Mitchum) who made sure the PAX knew he was a Clemson guy. Naming rights to Scratch and Win, who knew A LOT about Mitchum deodarant and its rich history with deep TN roots. Revlon bought Mitchum in an incredibly hostile corporate takeover (ok, I made up the hostile part) led by Mitt Romney (made that up, too). Mascara and deodorant sticks were hurled across the boardroom table. All is well now, thankfully. Hope to see you again soon, Revlon, even though you have tipped the balance of power decidedly in Clemson’s favor for this AO. SEC PAX unite to stem the tide of this orange wave. Wait, did someone say “Tide”? Ummm hmmmm…… YHC does not even have to say it. Know it. Live it. Love it.
Always an honor to lead this workout. Thanks to Puddin’ Pop for the strong takeout.
Announcements
“Walk a Mile in Her Shoes” on April 28th at 10:00 a.m., NODA Brewing Company. Check out my Twitter feed for more details. If you cannot make it, then please consider donating to this great cause and organization (Safe Alliance) who serve women victimized by domestic violence.
http://www.safealliance.org/event-pages/walk-a-mile-in-her-shoes/
5 of South Charlotte’s finest PAX gathered at SCMS for another edition of Area 51’s Death Valley. YHC must confess to not knowing the origination of the AO name. Perhaps the SCMS track is located in a bowl? Perhaps the site launch was instituted by a Clemson or LSU grad? YHC is somewhat familiar with the Clemson story behind “Death Valley” (someone stole a rock from that California hellhole and carried it back to the Upstate for some reason), but the LSU story escapes me. Irregardless, the stadium in Baton Rouge is known as “Tuscaloosa-West” to us Bama brethren, so why those Cajuns call it “Death Valley” can remain a mystery. RTR
Wholly inadequate disclaimer was issued to the veteran PAX. Slow mosey to Gateway Academy parking lot.
COT
Mosey to Alexis neighborhood. Mary at McPherson/Wyman intersection. Mosey to each of the 4 cul-de-sacs; 10 Merkins ea. location. Congregate at bottom of McCallum Court hill.
Triple Nickel — Squat Jacks at top, Plank Knee-ups at bottom. Mary after completion.
Mary
Mosey towards SCMS. Stop at Strawberry Ln / Woodfox. Mosey down Woodfox to Rounding Run. 5 burpees OYO. Return on Woodfox to Strawberry Ln. 5 burpees OYO.
Mosey to SCMS blacktop basketball goals.
Finish with Mary. COT. Done.
Moleskin
Solid effort by the PAX today, as requests were made via Text Message for running. With the most recent calfoidal perturbance in the rearview mirror, YHC was happy to oblige. Smokey’s After Action Report clocked the mileage at 3.1, which is not a bad total considering the amount of Boot Camping that occurred. Spackler heckled the Donut Run PAX, but they ignored him. Yell louder next time. Dollywood fell asleep in his vehicle prior to Launch due to sleep deprivation that accompanies a newborn in the house. It gets better. Dollywood also proclaimed “This workout sucks!” towards the end which YHC took as a badge of honor. You’re welcome. Smokey rocked the running portion per usual (#ageless), and Puddin’ grinded out the miles on a PF weakened foot. Oddly enough, flatulence was at a minimum today.
YHC has been frequenting Death Valley for almost 2 years, yet this was YHC’s site VQ. How does that happen?? It was a pleasure and honor to lead. Thanks to Smokey for the takeout.
Announcements
PAX Madison currently in job transition. Technical Sales. Prayers requested.
Heads up for 6th Annual “Walk A Mile in Her Shoes” event on April 28th, hosted by Safe Alliance. Great event, great organization. More info to come regarding F3 involvement.
In the immortal words of Harry Doyle, the fictitious play-by-play announcer for the Cleveland Indians in “Major League”, “We got one god**mn hit?” This classic phrase came to mind as YHC pulled into the OPES parking lot at 6:57 a.m. to find one other car parked. Against his better judgement, Fugitive exited his ghetto sled to await instructions from YHC, as he looked longingly towards Rea Rd in the hopes other PAX would soon show. They didn’t. YHC prepared a workout, thus the pain commenced.
YHC committed several Q mistakes, a) No disclaimer, b) 7:02 start time, and c) asking Fugitive if he actually wanted to post. No quarter asked, no quarter given. Off we went into the gloom like a couple of crazed banditos…
COP
Mosey to the OPES bus parking lot a.k.a. The Meat Grinder (to your hands if you forget gloves). Face up because circling up is not possible with only 2 PAX.
Stretch
On to the running portion of the program.
Left on Rea, Right on Windyrush, Stop at Windyrush-Windyrush intersection for Mary. Right on Windyrush. Stop at Windyrush-Edenbridge intersection for Mary. Right on Edenbridge. Right on Rea. Mosey to benches under the big oak tree.
Mosey to basketball court.
Mosey to playground.
Mosey to Rea. Left on Rea. Right on Edenbridge. Left on Windyrush. Mary. Left on Windyrush. Left on Rea.
Return to Launch.
Done
Moleskin
Major props to Fugitive for enduring the lonely beat down, especially considering he is 2 weeks removed from a bout with bronchitis. I have always considered Fugitive a PAX of the sound judgement and character especially considering his 2.0 attends The University of Alabama. That judgement is now in question after he failed to flee this edition of Ascent/Olympus. Like Rodney Dangerfield in “Caddyshack,” “Oh, my arm. It’s broken.” To bookend the Q fails, there was no Takeout at the end. Perhaps Fugitive trudged home and said a prayer for YHC and for the general state of F3. One can only hope.
YHC takes solace in the fact that Bama is the reigning National Champion and that F3 does not issue nor revoke Q cards. Redemption is just around the corner.
RTR
11 PAX made the right choice and posted for Area 51’s finest workout at Hydra. The 40 degree temperature was deceiving, as several PAX would later regret their decisions to don head coverings after the subsequent beat down. As Sleepy said towards the end of the workout, “My head is on fire.” I will take that as a compliment. You’re welcome.
This is how it went down after a brief, uninspired, and basically worthless disclaimer.
OPES possesses (2) of the most God-awful asphalt parking lots in all of Area 51. Our school bond money at work, gentlemen. We moseyed to the bus parking lot for the downpainment.
COP
Mosey down Rea Rd. towards HT. Left on Chadwyck Farms. Plank-o-rama at the bottom of Chadwyck Farms and Windyrush. Mosey on Windyrush to the base of Evelyn’s Hill.
The Main Event
Since YHC will soon travel to Japan on a wide body Boeing 777 in Economy class, YHC thought it fitting to exact pain and suffering on the PAX in the form of Triple 7’s. If YHC can endure 14 hours from Houston to Tokyo in Economy, then surely the PAX can endure 20 minutes of Evelyn’s Hill. After much debate and mumble chatter, the PAX finally realized that Triple 7’s meant Triple 7’s as detailed below.
7-7-7. Learn it, love it, live it.
After Evelyn’s Hill was conquered, PAX took a Left on Edenbridge, stopping at each “stop” light on the Right Hand side of the road for 5 Heels to Heaven. YHC was delirious after Evelyn, thus confusing “street” with “stop.” Wishful thinking, no doubt. Congregate at the intersection of Edenbridge and Rea for more Plank-o-rama. Brought in the 6 and headed to the OPES black top basketball court.
Planker’s Delight
A staple of any Jet Fuel Q (thank you Dumpster Fire, or should we now call you Senator Dumpster Fire??), this suck fest involves the PAX lined up in plank, shoulder-to-shoulder, each taking turns plank walking down the line, stopping at each PAX for a partner merkin. Pure pain, pure misery, just like Tennessee football.
Basketball Medley
Mosey to launch. What, no Mary? Darn straight, no Mary. Done.
Moleskin
Great work by a veteran PAX today. Spackler is preparing for a trip to Kiawah this weekend to support several PAX in their quest to run the 1/2 or full marathon. The exact impetus for this trip remains a mystery. No golf will be played due to British Open-esque weather, yet a golf cart will be involved. No running for Semi Gloss, yet he is attending and riding on said golf cart at a running event. YHC must confess to being initially confused by the conflicting signals, but the clouds were lifted when it was learned that Tito’s would be flowing. Ahhhh, yes….the 13.1 mile booze cruise. Enjoy.
Cheese Curd was crushing Eveleyn’s Hill until he learned the true meaning of Triple 777’s. 3 rounds of fury, then a struggle to survive. See above for further explanation. Hops is basking in WFU’s bowl bid to play the train wreck otherwise known as Texas A&M. YHC attempted to dedicate the Basketball Medley portion to WFU basketball, but was quickly corrected that WFU is still playing football in December. Duly noted, Demon Deacon. Queen, Marge, Hops, Spackler, and Hopper sustained the crush for all 7 rounds. Solid work. #paceyourself. I was worried that Sleepy would suffer a heat stroke in 40 degree weather, but he somehow pulled through like a trooper. Lewinski and YHC waxed poetic on the virtues of Christmas light timers. Stimulating mumble chatter. Scratch n Win left YHC speechless with a flurry of Japanese in the COT. Domo arigatou, Mr. Roboto. Puddin’ Pop was up to his usual gastrointestinal fireworks. Never a dull moment.
Always an honor to lead Area 51’s finest workout. Props to Scratch n Win for the stellar takeout.
Announcements
A51 Christmas Party at Seaboard Friday night
Joe Davis Run
11 PAX prepared their bodies for Daylight Savings Time by making the right choice and posting at Rock Zero. Pleasantries were exchanged, an abbreviated disclaimer was issued to the veteran PAX, and we were off into the gloom. Slow mosey to the Calvary courtyard (astroturf location; yes, YHC called it astroturf) for the downpainment.
COP
Main Event
Mosey to Davie Park for the Pain Relay. Partner up with like speed. P1 runs to 1st light pole, performs Merkins AMRAP. P2 runs to first light pole when P1 drops for Merkins. When P2 reaches P1, P1 ceases Merkins and moseys to next light pole. P2 commences Merkins AMRAP. Upon reaching the next light pole, P1 performs Jump Squats AMRAP, P2 ceases Merkins and moseys to 2nd light pole. Repeat until we reach the end near the dog park. Mary. Same sequence for return to park entrance. Dolly and Burpees were the exercises of choice. Mary at the end.
Mosey to the Rea Road library.
Grab a parking space line.
Mosey across Rea to the top of The North Face. 10 Merkins. Run long lap to bottom of North Face. Scale it. 10 Merkins at the top. Rinse and repeat 3x.
Mosey to parking lot for Planker’s Delight. Line up shoulder-to-shoulder in plank. YHC took the lead. Plank walk 180 degrees so to face next PAX. Hand Slap Merkins. Plank walk down the line, stopping at each PAX for HSM’s. Return to plank after reaching the Anchor PAX. Hold plank until all PAX have “slapped the line.” Hopper was the Anchor PAX, and crushed his turn. Impressive.
Mosey to light post for a variety of post-to-post sprints. AYG, High Knees, Butt Kickers, Karaoke left, Karaoke right, Bear Crawl-Crab Walk-Lunge Walk.
Mosey to launch. Finish with Burpees and Merkins. Done.
Observations
The traffic in Davie Park was ridiculous for 7:15 a.m. on a Saturday, when it was basically dark outside and the Dog Park was closed. For example, a beat-up minivan passed the PAX during our outbound leg of the Pain Relay, only to pass us again going the opposite direction towards the park entrance minutes later. Suspicious. This drew Cheese Curd’s attention as he theorized the minivan’s turnaround time was wholly inadequate for certain nefarious acts of passion to be performed in a secluded parking lot. Gummy and YHC were speechless. One can only postulate that Cheese Curd wears his Garmin EVERYWHERE and times EVERYTHING.
Planker’s Delight absolutely sucks. YHC includes this brutality with each Q for no justifiable reason, other than to spread pain and suffering in Area 51. You’re welcome.
Hopper was complaining after Shoulder Tap Merkins (exercise #2) in the COP, but quickly buried that negativity and led the PAX for the remainder of the workout. Solid effort.
Abba scaled the North Face like a Mongolian sherpa. Unreal.
Marge and Nemo crushed the running portions, per usual. Fast, real fast.
Marlin continues to spread the Hoka gospel to anyone who will listen. #thicksole
Blades of Glory was shining during the Speed Skater Lunges. YHC was worried that he would cross check the adjacent PAX.
Dingo and Boerewors did what they always do, silently crushing the workout. South Africa in the house…
Gummy was well, Gummy. Always in front, always delivering comic relief, always harassing the Q. Well done, sir.
16 = Alabama Football National Titles (yes, Clemson, you still have the belt, for God’s sake)
YHC was silently confident about Bama’s chances this year, but after losing 1/2 of our defense to injury last night against LSU, well, not so much.
Always an honor to post at Rock Zero, and an even greater honor to Q.
RTR
After a Twitter firestorm yesterday, 14 PAX posted against their better judgement for this week’s Hydra humidity beat down courtesy of YHC. Brief “don’t be stupid” disclaimer to the veteran PAX, and we were off.
COP (all exercises IC)
The Thang
Mosey to church rock pile. Partner up. Choose running rock. P1 runs w/ rock (Haze’s FAVORITE): R on Rea, R on Windyrush. P2 runs sans rock: L on Rea, L on Edenbridge, L Windyrush. P1 transfers rock to P2; continue same direction to complete the loop back to the rock pile. Equal rock carrying distance covered by each PAX. Genius.
Mosey to OPES bus parking lot aka CMS’ finest asphalt. PAX who forgot gloves would soon be cursing YHC. Grab a parking space line. Starting from one side of the line, plank walk to the other side of the line, perform 2 merkins. Rinse and repeat until 8 line crosses and hence 16 merkins were performed. 8 x 2 = 16 for you Volunteer fans incl. Frosty Paws
Mary at OPES basketball black top. Dolly, Flutter ea. x16 IC, Slow Merkins x10 IC
Mosey to baseball field concession area. New partners. 4-leg Starfish. Leg 1: 5 pull-ups, Leg 2: 5 burpees, Leg 3: 10 Jump Squats, Leg 4: 10 Diamond Merkins. Return to concession area after each leg for 5 plank knee-ups.
Mosey to OPES basketball black top: Planker’s Delight. PAX lines up abreast. Assume plank position. PAX #1 plank walks down the line facing the PAX, stopping for 1-merkin at each PAX, who also performs the merkin. Rinse and repeat until all PAX have completed the Plank Walk of Pain.
Mosey to front football (or soccer?) field. Mosey to each of the 4 corners in CCW fashion. Corner #1: 5 Merkins. Corner #2: 10 Jump Squats. Corner #3: 15 Merkins. Corner #4: 20 Jump Squats
Mosey to back wall for People’s Chair. PAX #1 performs 10 Merkins (or more) in front of squatting PAX, then heads back to wall. PAX #2 performs 10 Merkins….you get the drift.
Done.
Moleskin
My, my….where to begin? In yesterday’s Twitter-sphere, Purple Haze specified the following Hydra Trifecta which should be avoided at all costs: 1) Hops’ tank top, 2) Iron Horse’s 2″ inseam running shorts, and 3) Shirtless Semi Gloss. Item 1: Rectified by Hops and M Hops; tank top has been destroyed Items 2 and 3: Most definitely NOT rectified. Iron Horse rolled into the AO, parked, and unveiled more leg skin than you see at Uptown Whiskey River on a Saturday night. The PAX recovered from IH’s initial shock and awe campaign; however, IH gained his sweet revenge during People’s Chair. Regular merkins in front of the PAX? Yeah, right… Try reverse plank jacks, and by reverse, I mean the PAX was facing the southbound end of northbound mule. Most of the PAX quickly looked away in horror, but Purple Haze could not turn away, as if transfixed on a bad car crash. I fear Haze has suffered irreparable mental and emotional damage.
Item 3 occurred at some point during the beat down, perhaps Pre-Planker’s Delight, perhaps afterwards. The PAX was oddly at peace with the bare chested one. Disturbing… Next time, partner carries. Oddly enough, it was around this time that I noticed my watch spontaneously set back 3 hours. Coincidence, or was my Timex Non-GPS Ironman experiencing a disturbance in the F3 universe force due to the aforementioned 2/3 Trifecta convergence? Mysterious…
Other random observations:
16 represents the number of football national titles won by my beloved Crimson Tide. YHC is a proud graduate, ’94, ’96. Frosty Paws (who named his son Knox in honor of Knoxville, TN) just loved this factoid. I will be expecting that dinner invitation any day now, FP. Good thing I did not choose 26 as the number of the day (represents the number of SEC titles won by….well, you know). And before you start chirping, yes, Clemson PAX, I realize that you STILL have the belt, as I have been regularly reminded at every single post since January.
Planker’s Delight continues to suck out loud. Brutal and merciless in dishing out pain .
Great to see Cheese Curd in the gloom after a long boot camp layoff due to an Achilles (?) injury. Hope to see you again, brother.
Floor Slapper arrived pre-launch. I checked my watch for malfunctions, but found none.
Solid work by all PAX today. Request was made for more boot camp, less running, so I was happy to oblige. Honored to lead this group of Area 51’s finest.
RTR
Announcements
Anvil – Death Valley convergence, Wed. 7/19, at Anvil. Coffee and fellowship to follow. Check Twitter for Details. Hops will be delivering words of encouragement and/or fashion advice for IH during the fellowship time.