#Backblast: Lord of The Rings Trilogy – Quest #2 Stonehenge… Metro Invasion, Bucket Pong Edition!

#Backblast: Lord of The Rings Trilogy – Quest #2 Stonehenge… Metro Invasion, Bucket Pong Edition!

21 hobbits, men, elves, & dwarves from North and South continued their journey to destroy the Ring starting at the Golden Hall of King Theoden (Vine America Kitchen in Ballantyne) at 6:00am.  Heading to the stronghold of Helm’s Deep to continue their quest, they ran from the Nazgul Black Riders of Sauron round-and-round up hills and around ponds, armed only with a half dozen ping-pong balls and two Home Depot buckets for 1 hour covering ~3.5 miles. Of these 21, 8 of them bravely continued the fight at Mordor (DaVinci) to slay a few more uruk-hais orcs.  Here is their story…

Foreward *Updated*

An ancient Ring thought lost for centuries has been found, and through a strange twist of fate has been given to a group of 17 men, all misfits in their own right, and known as members of F3 Nation SOB/IL.  These men must embark on an epic quest, beginning with conquering The Brave, vanquishing Stonehenge, and navigating the Cracks of Doom (no, not Frehley’s arse cheeks) in Mount Doom (The Muthaship) in order to destroy it!  Their quest to destroy the One Ring is the only hope for developing true Fitness, Fellowship, and Faith … as well as earn free beers at future 2nd F on YHC, for completion of these 3 quests.  Of the 17 halflings completing Journey #1 of The Lord of the Rings Trilogy Challenge, only 7 brave halflings returned for Quest #2: Stonehenge, the rest of them scattering back home to the Shire in the middle of the night, longing for their safety in the busom of their M’s in a comfy fartsack (#smh).

The QUEST: Journey #2 – The Two Towers: “I think we might have made a mistake leaving the Shire, Pippin.” – Merry

In the pre-blast, YHC promised a boatload of new rewarding exercises and IMHO delivered a few that YHC could not even handle well.  As the preferred workout style of Stonehenge is Bootcamp Style Training, YHC thought it be appropriate to achieve a total body workout, hitting chest and triceps (BRAVE had no merkins), abdominals, legs, and a lot more cardio than Stonehenge is used to (~3.5 miles).  Threw a bit of a wrench in the workout today by having a set of mini races up hills and around a pond to in a game of ‘bucket pong’.  Thanks to a non-coordinated effort with @Tuck_F3 those PAX that doubled down got to ~7 miles + exercises (#miniCSAUP).  And the Metro guys think we don’t run down here… pashaw! YHC has a sneaky suspicion more PAX were looking to double down at DaVinci initially, but today’s workout was a bit of a beast, and doubling down at Einstein Bagel and doing breakfast sandwich snatches seemed more pragmatic.

The THANG

Dynamic warm-up:  Mosy from the Vine mosey up Brixham Hill Ave to Ballantyne Corp Pl to a nearby pond (following YHC in doing high knees, butt kicks, side shuffle each side, karaoke each side, side shuffle each side).  Circle up on the grassy area next to the pond for 20 SSH and 30 merkins both in cadence.

Part 1: ‘Bucket-Pong Races’ (20 minutes) – Almost all PAX got in 8 laps

• PAX break up into 7 different groups (not teams) of 3 people, where each member of the team would race from the starting point, up the hill, back down the hill, around the pond, and past the initial starting point.  This is a race within each group, not against other groups. Distance from start to finish seemed to be 250m +/-.
• The first person of the group to run past the finish line was given the option to 1) shoot a ping-pong ball themselves into a Home Depot Bucket three giant steps away or 2) pass the shot to one of the other two losers (clarification: race losers) in the group to shoot.
• If the shooter missed, the other two group members did less of a called exercise, while the shooter was required to do more, and vice versa.
• Upon completion of the called exercise by the group, the next race began with the losing person/persons getting a 3 second head start up the hill, on the same race course. Repeato.
• Called exercises by YHC were as follows:
  • (1) 10 hand release merkins <winner> / 20 hand release merkins <loser>
  • (2) 10 carolina drydocks <winner> / 20 carolina drydocks <loser>
  • (3) 5 burpees <winner> / 10 burpees <loser>
  • (4) 5 reverse burpees <winner> / 10 reverse burpees <loser>
  • (5) 10 russian twist <winner> / 20 russian twist <loser>
  • (6) 10 full length sit-ups <winner> / 20 full length sit-ups <loser>
  • (7) winner of race determines exercise and reps
  • (8) winner of race determines exercise and reps

Part 2: New and Irregular Exercises in Parking Lot.

• Mosey over to nearby surface lot and line up in horizontal line for exercises across the lot (~50m +/-) to the far curb. Upon completion of the called exercise across the lot, backwards run to the starting point. Exercises were as follows:
  • #1: Dragon Walk – pushup and bear crawl combined
  • #2: Plank Hop with one leg in air (alternate as needed)
  • #3: Reverse Walking Lunge (knee touching ground on each step)
  • #4 Forward Walking Lunge (knee touching ground on each step)

Part 3: Exercises in front of Lochness Lake

• Mosey over to Lochness Lake to finish off with some called exercises.
  • #1: The Single Leg Pistol Squat – one leg raised and forward, squat bum to seating wall, and stand back up on one leg (10 each leg)
  • #2: The Elevated Donkey Kick – in plank position with feet on seating wall, hop down and hop back up onto top of seating wall (in cadence 25 total)
  • #3: The Reverse Burpee Feet Planted Wall Squat Jump – feet stay on the ground at all times, sit down, lay back on the seating wall, sit-up, stand-up, and jump lifting knees as high as possible (20 total). *introduced at the Brave*
  • #4: The Alternating Straight Leg Opposite Foot Grab – laying flat on your back, legs extended, reach for the opposite foot/ankle and grab it, keeping your back straight and lifting the small of your back off the ground #notacrunch (in cadence 20 each leg total) *introduced at the Brave*
  • Mosey from Lochness back to The Vine for COT

Naked Moleskin … Let’s Get it on!

• Sorry Loogie, YHC must have mixed up the workouts for the Brave and Stonehenge, since we seemed to do a lot of running at Stonehenge today, versus carrying of 70lb logs and buckets and sandbags for the Brave. But hey, you seem to be doing a gear workout at all times anyway, by having to ruck that beast of a man you are around 24/7.
• Madame Tousseau has some impressive Double D’s …. urgh, that didn’t sound right. Madame Tousseau was impressive double teaming DaVinci & Stonehenge for two hours. doh!.. you know what I mean.
• Wingman was an animal out there today, and resembled Gimli the dwarf warrior with his potbelly beard… I said BEARD! Full redemption was had in the straight leg laying sit-up exercise, as perfect form in cadence was exhibited.  Speaking of beards, you may want to shave that crap off… just saying. http://nypost.com/2015/05/04/science-proves-that-beards-contain-fecal-matter/
• Did any of you know Honey Bee was one of the original PAX to start Foxhole, the gear workout? I did not, and I’ve always assumed he was just a fast marathoner with no strength. But the dude has some sneaky strength… so stealth that YHC has NEVER seen it…. ever (#topsecret).
• YHC was in Gumbo’s group and it was amazing to see him sprint around the lake, neck and neck with the Metro fellas this morning….. for the first lap.  It was the quickest 40 seconds ever seen #thatswhatshesaid . He did drill several shots on bucket though.
• Big Tuna is the man. After manhandling log stumps at the Brave yesterday, he completed Quest #2 in style, and is dying to post @ Muthaship on Monday so he can take me deep on the bar tab. Right Tuna?
• Mario owned the bucket-pong game today, mostly because he’s up 5x a week playing playing real beer pong all night (#collegekid) and works at a place with a beer tap.  It was a bit bothersome though that every time he hit a shot, he told the other two PAX they needed to take off a piece of clothing. WHUTTT!!! Different rules man! (#notthesamegame)
• Ok, enough of the jokes about Fire Hazard (and Wild Turkey for that matter) needing to get permission from his M. That’s just getting old.  Dude crushed the workout today, and especially owned YHC on the parking lot exercises, even encouraging YHC to step it up, which YHC could not. In fact he finished so far ahead of YHC he had enough time to call his M to let her know he wasn’t injured during the workout and it wasn’t snowing… wanted to, but he didn’t.
• YHC also was glad to be in Soft Pretzel’s group for the bucket-pong challenge (#cantshootapingpongball).  YHC knew we were going to do less repetitions, when his first shot bounced in and out of the bucket and his confidence was gone. Way to push today SP.
• Pretty soon the PAX will all need to say “Respect” in COT when Commish posts, but you wouldn’t know the dude is almost 50. Kind of looks like a mix between George Clooney and Russell Crowe. I’m thinking maybe he’s really not 49, but maybe counts age like he counts merkins… 1 – 2 – 5 – 8 – 17 – 49 – halt!
• Mighty Mite also would have crushed The Brave yesterday carrying all those heavy things, and the heavy running today was making him hungry no doubt.  At one point I saw him watch 2.0 Howie and Honey Bee zip by him at the pond, and heard him mutter how the two piece meal at Viva Chicken he had for lunch yesterday was bigger than the two of them combined!
• Pleasure to have Bratwurst, who brought his stud 2.0 Howie to the workout. Brat also has completed 2/3 legs of the Trilogy, because naturally Beer and Bratwurst definitely go together. He and Frazier and Honey Bee will be ready to go head to head against F3 Metro at the Muthaship Monday. Tickets sold here!
• Wild Turkey probably enjoyed the coupons today since he is undisputed king of the the creative workout.  He was the guy to inspire the Lord of the Rings Trilogy Challenge to begin with.  What he didn’t probably enjoy was being on Foulball’s Group and getting only 3 seconds (not 30 seconds) head start to catch him.  Iron sharpens iron buddy, you’re better for it.
• Outback (aka Smeagol from the Brave BB) mentioned as he was eating some oatmeal at Starbucks that he’s lost 60lbs from his high, mostly thanks to his 257 day cleanse which YHC convinced him to finally end. But then Marv (Metro) spoke up and said he’s lost 75lbs which made Outback immediately regurgitate whatever he as eating and start cleansing again. NOOOO!!! (#backtosquareone)
• Pleasure to host the F3 Metro guys Foul Ball, Shawshank, Sir Topham Hat, The Mighty Lance (TML), and Marv this morning at our AO, all of whom led for most of the workout (and at DaVinci). Since YHC is J.R.R. Tolkien, you all must be the Riders of Rohan because you run fast like you are on horses.  You all are welcome anytime, but there is a requirement that you take your shirts off next time and go Metro. You left us all disappointed, especially Mario every time he shot the ball in the bucket and hit.
• YHC really enjoyed today’s workout, and appreciated the fellowship from my fellow SOB/IL brothers, and Muthashippers from the Metro who were forced to workout with me for a change, as opposed to lap me as the 6, week in and week out like they do on Mondays. Let’s all keep on getting better in 2016.

Once again, it was an pleasure and honor to lead the PAX this morning, and hope the PAX had fun with the ‘bucket-pong’ game even though it resulted in a lot more running than normal. Special thanks to the F3 Metro guys that didn’t barely break a sweat today, and were kind enough to give us all a great view of their backsides since we all were chasing them all mornig.  Thanks for the awesome takeout Big Tuna!

Announcements:

• Lord of Rings Trilogy comes to a painful ending Monday @ 5:15am at The Muthaship (Uptown METRO workout – unofficial convergence) with the final Quest #3: The Return of the King where YHC promises to prepare a workout you will not soon forget to challenge your fitness and mind. The pre-blast will be up tomorrow morning for you to view and dread all day tomorrow…. 7 of you Brave men are still eligible for the free booze at future 2nd F for completion of all three workouts (see pre-blast if you don’t know I am referring to: http://f3nation.com/2016/02/09/preblast-brave-stonehenge-muthaship-jrrtolkien-02122016/ ).  YHC encourages all PAX of all abilities to make at least one trip to the Mutha, and Monday is a fine day to do it with PAX from all over converging.  YHC believes in it so much so that of you 17 men posting @ The Brave but missing Stonehenge, YHC will still buy you a beer at next 2nd F. Be there!  Clowncars from the Vine American Kitchen @ 4:45am & Arboretum ABC @ 4:40am.  Hit me up on Slack or Twitter @JRRTolkienF3 for more information or read the pre-blast on the link above. YHC will be sending out a real pre-blast first thing Sunday Morning with the actual workout so look for it.
• 5 Year F3 Nation Party (3/5/2016 7:00PM – 11:30PM) – bring your M’s $40/person.  Sign up today… prices go up tomorrow!!! YHC has spoken to the M, and is lining up a sitter and planning on attending it.  Without F3 Nation, I would not be getting fitter or have you brothers.  Special thanks to the F3 Metro guys that posted in our AO this morning to share in the gloom, and market this event which is for all of F3 Nation not F3 Metro.  F3 Nation Buy Tickets Link:   https://www.universe.com/events/5-years-of-f3-tickets-charlotte-C23H8T
• 2nd F Hike with Family & Picnic 1/23 Saturday @ Anne Springs Greenway (see weekly newsletter)
• SOB/IL CSAUP “Balrog” on 3/12/2016. Save the date….. Read the Pre-Blast Link and sign up: http://f3nation.com/2016/02/12/preblast-sob-csaup-balrog-march-12th-2016/