Onside Kick

Onside Kick

Thirteen souls, 4 frisbees, 1 Little Baby Football and a sawed off water bottle launched into the gloom promptly at 0530.

Started off with a little baby jog to the stadium and took a lap around the Sleep Number Tempurpedic  track.  Bananas noted that it was not unlike the track from his alma mater at Eastern County Public High School.

Little bit of COP with I-Walkers and merkins, the on to the end line and split into two groups.  The first group runs, the second group rests, then flapjack.

  • 4×40 (and back)
  • 3×60 (and back)
  • 2×80 (and back)
  • 1×100 (and back)

Mosey a half lap to the base of Grandmother Mountain.  Run to the top, sort of across Grandma Mt really, then keep going to the top of the next hill to the Blue Door.  The Pax was then informed that every field goal missed was one trip to the #BlueDoor.

The tee (the sawn off water bottle) was placed at the 20, making for a 30 yard field goal.  The first group up was:

  • Baracus:  enough distance, wide left.
  • Bananas:  just inside the left upright–good.
  • 49er: head-height knuckle ball.

Final Tally:  All pax touch the #BlueDoor twice.

Second group:

  • Joker:  He missed but it was not a bad effort…for an onside kick.  Note: Joker went #OldSchool Mark Moseley style with the straight on approach.  Didn’t seem to help.  Also note:  Moseley was the last of the straight on kickers (not counting some scrub that played for the Eagles in 95).  He is still the all-time leader scorer for the Redskins and is the only kicker to ever be named League MVP (albeit during the strike-shortened 1982 season).
  • Shore:  .looked like he kicked a cat.  It may have made it to the goal line but it was dark and we’re trying to be gracious.
  • Fletch: splits the pipes….of the soccer goal about 20 yards to the right of the uprights.  Heck of mountain biker, though.

Final tally:  All Pax touch the #BlueDoor three times.

With time to think on the hill runs and seeing who is yet left to kick, it appears that 7 more Blue Doors are all but certain:

  • Lobster Roll:  He looks the part.  Certainly has some wheels.  But if he could kick, wouldn’t he have kicked already?  50/50 on a Blue Door.
  • Ocho Cinco:  Glory-hound skill player, but also a really good athlete.  I could see it going either way….
  • Stone Cold, Good Hands, Your Q, and Gummy:  More long-snapper profile than kicker.  Ain’t happening.  Guaranteed Blue Doors.
  • Geraldo:  Given the bulk of wraps and braces on each leg, I’d be less surprised if a prosthetic leg split the uprights than a football. Love ya, man, but keep on searching for Al Capone’s vault or something.

So with five to seven more Blue Doors looming, your Q opted to shut down the FSU Kicking Clinic and audibled for Mary.  We left our six prints in the turf while doing:

  • Stop-motion flutter x?  No one counted
  • Stop-motion dolly x ?  Still no one counting…
  • Flutter x 10
  • Dolly by 10
  • Heels to Heaven x 10
  • Stop-motion LBC x ?  (crickets)

The reader is probably wondering, “But what about the four Frisbees?”  Good point.  The intent was to push them around in the manner of a hair burner but due to a combination of it being a bad idea poorly explained and running out of time, we ditched that and ran for the house, and gathered for a cozy COT.


Friday workouts should be fun.  Most of the you are only pretending to work even a half a day, so why not get it started off right with some good times in the gloom.  Your Q was planning on some frolic with passing plays but it was darker than he remembered.  So rather than busting noses with Little Baby Footballs to the face, I will requisition a glow-in-the-dark or gimmick LED football.  Also had some Les Miles-like clock management issues there at the end and still had some goal-line stand drills on the Weinke.  Something to look forward to.


  • Area 51 workouts tomorrow:  Stonehenge is on as usual at 0600.  ALL OTHER Area 51 Saturday workouts will converge at the Rock at 0700.
  • Be on the lookout for info regarding a Convergence and 5k coming up on January 4th in Fort Mill.
  • Area 51 will not have a Holiday Party this year. So even though we have bankers running the 2nd F functions, we will unapologetically have a Christmas Party and it will be in December.  Bugeater has knighted Baracus as Q for the event and details are being finalized.  Just to be safe, block out every weekend in December until you receive more detailed orders.  That is all.

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10 years ago

Love the fun Friday theme…will have to keep it going. Co-workers were giving me the look as I was laughing to tears reading this backblast! Thanks TR for mixing things up out there.

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