Author Archive OrangeWhip

A soccer BB, because why not?

We keep pushing the goals back as we again broke the Sunday record with 13, even with several regulars out.

The Thang

We played soccer


  • Unfortunately we have to re-set the “No injuries in X days” at the F3 office. Cheese Curd went down with a mystery pop in the back of his calf. He looked back at Level 10 thinking his teammate took a swipe at his heel, but his body just betrayed him and we’re hoping it’s just a muscle pull.
  • Mr Brady came rolling in with a handful of pinnies and we all looked around thinking the same thing. Citgo came out and said it “I’m not wearing one of those”. The Pavlovian response mechanism of puke entering your throat from remembering being 10 years old,  sticking your hand into a mesh bag and grabbing a damp and moldy pinnie causes immediate stomach ailments.
  • Level 10 has done at least one move each week that makes me want to practice more. This week he pretty much owned me on about 5 different occasions on defense. At least he had the courtesy of telling me his secret today.
  • Cage came in and left with a Batman type exit. Love that guy.
  • Good to see Snowflake out for the first time. The last time he played soccer he lived in Alaska so he was pleasantly surprised to find that the ball didn’t go flat after 3 minutes, and that you don’t have to wear gloves and skis.
  • Slim Fast came in with some crazy good footwork. I’d heard the rumor but it was nice to see it in person. Guy is legit.
  • That goes for Citgo as well, the long distance & speedy runner can clearly play futbol too. Pretty sure he was our goal leader today.
  • Scratch and Win was intimidating everyone early talking about how his team was sponsored by Umbro back in the day. He was killing it as well but wanted to get his goalie gloves on.
  • This was my first week playing against Christmas – not fun. I’d rather him be on my team from now on. He can run, he can kick and he can….crow! Movie?
  • Benny has been getting better each week as well – he had some nice defensive plays and almost an amazing own goal from a pass from Ductwork. Hey, a goal is a goal.
  • Pepe keeps bringing new skilled players from the Metro area.
  • We heard our first F bomb this morning. A clear sign that you’re working out with Metro guys. Guys this is South Charlotte. We’re all dads that go to Chick-Fil-A, homeschool our kids and only speak in scripture – know your audience!!!
  • The 1978 Korean National team continues to pressure us to play them. I say if they post at Fast Twitch on Tuesday then we’ll agree to play them.


  • Bring a light and dark color each week.
  • Don’t bring pinnies
  • Wear shin guards if you’re playing near Mr. Brady
  • Go to church
  • Don’t do drugs



Big League Stew & 300 merkins

The rain was falling but for some reason 8 dumb guys came out and got a full dose of jumping puddles and lifting rocks. Wormwood (would have been 9) pulled into the parking lot and pulled back out when he saw us running away – whaaaa??

The Thang

Round1 – 20 Step ups – 20 merkins X5

50 squats

Round 2 – 20 Rock Curls – 20 merkins X5

50 squats

Round 3 – 20 bent over rows – 10 merkins X5

50 squats

Round 4 – 20 rock thrusters – 10 merkins x5

50 squats

Series of Abstacles in a round the circle format, 20 more merkins to make sure no one cheated, and 20 SSH for Horsehead’s viewing pleasure….



The rain was pouring hard all morning. For some reason tarps were set up at the field so we actually had a place to stay dry until everyone arrived.

Future reference, if you Q Kevlar, we are parking at the pavilion, not running to it.

Inspired by the IPC the past few weeks I decided to give the strength training one more try and we knocked out 300 merkins, 100 step ups, 100 curls, 100 bent over rows, 100 thrusters and over 200 squats.

  • FaultLine gave Monica Seles a run for her money and had some amazing moans this morning. I’m pretty sure he’s the only one who actually did every rep required. Note: he followed that up with a 10 mile run today
  • Geraldo and Horsehead were complaining about some crazy smell that happened at the end of the workout. They both immediately blamed Big League Chew although he never admitted to anything and I’m pretty sure he had no idea what they were talking about.
  • Rhapsody cut his toe in half surfing last week so he was walking a little gingerly. The fin cut it right to the bone….told him to flip the board over next time, smart ass comments are what make me who I am.
  • Cage and Age rhyme but they couldn’t be further from the truth. The 60 year old man of mystery continues to defy every explanation of human decay…with the exception of 3 restroom breaks at every workout.
  • Christmas continues to post consistently and is getting faster and stronger and I think he’s at every workout I ever go to, so he must be going to more than me. You should see the kid kick a soccer ball…big kicker, huge.


  • A51 Blood Drive. Info is all over Slack. Don’t bring your own from home, you must let the nurse do it.
  • A51 board will be roaming around the different AOs together – we didn’t announce this at the workout but you’ve been warned….we’ll be watching
  • Soccer on Sunday at Field 1 at Sportsplex.

I forgot to pray or ask someone to pray and asked that everyone say a prayer in their heart on the run back through the rain. Everyone did except for one person.



The wife-pleaser

Wife-pleaser is what Bulldog calls any exercise when we're in 
a questionable position or focusing on a specific bulging muscle group. 

This workout lacked the questionable positions we know and love but
our muscles were bulging all over the place...
Author: Bulldog

14 fine gents assembled at Kevlar for an old school Friday beat down!
Run to rock pile and grab a boulder
SSH, IW etc 
Partner up: Partner Runs while other works the rock. Flapjack
Curls/Press/Tri combo x 2
Lunge R/Lunge L/ Squat combo x 2
Stagger merkin R/Diamond/Stagger merkin L combo x 1
Return rocks. Head to gazebo. 
Partner runs as other partner does 10 x decline merkins/10 x tri dips/10 x step ups.
Run to back road. 
Suicides with burpees increasing from 1 to 5. 
Diamond merkin ladder to each street light from 1 to finish with 10. 
Back to launch for some Mary. Backscratchers, etc 

An honor to lead today lads and to see some familiar faces again. 
It’s been a weird time and schedules off but good to get out and get 
an early sweat. I’ve gone soft relying on the Peloton bike and smoking 
hot instructors to get me motivated. Who needs that? Especially when 
I see the gorgeous faces of Horsehead under the gazebo lights and the 
flowing mane of Deepdish it makes me crave the gold old days!

Lord of the Rings: A VQs quest through Middle Church

F3 Backblast for VQ

Title: Run with endurance the race set before us…

Date: 8/21/2020

Kevlar PAX: Good numbers for Kevlar lately. 12 guys showed up for my VQ – the more the merrier

Orange Whip wrote a backblast in June and it gave me a whole new perspective on him, his faith, and F3 – so I’ll try to shed some light on my story as well.

Since I am relatively new to the F3 fam, I’ll give a little run down of how I got here. Graduated UF (Go Gators) with a Construction Management Degree in Dec 2019. Married my beautiful wife Jan 2020. Relocated to Charlotte for a new project in Feb 2020. COVID hit hard in Mar 2020.

A lot of changes happened in those few months, and it was difficult to keep my bearings as a new husband with a new wife, new job, and a new city to call home with no great way to meet new people. That’s where Spyglass comes in who I’ve known for years – he and his wife moved to Charlotte in May and he soon asked me to go with him to a group called F3 at 5:30am (fyi Spyglass previously joined F3 when he lived in Asheville). I went, and I’ll admit Skunk Works was painful but great – shoutout to Horsehead for the name that stuck.

F3 has been a great way for me run the race with men who also want to see God’s Kingdom established. In this regard, Hebrews 12:1-2 “Therefore, since we are surrounded by a so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith…” I love how the author of Hebrews relates our faith journey to a race of endurance. No matter the time, weight, sin, injury, or pain – we must run the race set before us and look to Jesus the founder and perfecter of our faith. The grit that it takes to finish each F3 workout is an example of how much focus and effort we are to put in our daily walk with the Lord.


Now to Kevlar: 12 guys showed up this morning.

I arrived early for my first Q – I have never had to use the bathroom before a workout, but this morning hit different. No porta john in sight, so onward…

The Thang:

  • Start Time at 5:30am.
  • Jog to the backside of CD parking lot.
  • Warm up: Merkin, Imperial Walker, windmill, grapevine stretch (kudos to Metro for that one), LBCs, Heels to Heaven, and Squats.
  • Partner work at the parking lot islands
    • Alternate partners, suicide to each island and back + up the hill. One partner runs at a time while the other performs merkins, LBCs, Heels to Heaven, Squats. Hold Plank when finished. x2
  • Run on road East of CD – 5 merkins at every other light post. Mossy back to the stop sign. x2
  • Parking lot relay race 6 v. 6 – Run about 60 yards, 5 merkins, run back.
  • Mossy back for a 6:15 sharp finish.


Ye Mole:

  • Fault Line was complimented on his sleeveless tee and good tan before the start and responded with chipper that he had been to the beach recently.
  • A lot of chatter from the PAX during the warmup for an odd couple of stretches, but no complaints during the last 35 minutes of running – must’ve been too out of breath.
  • Bulldog commented on “the great genetics that us Brits have”.
  • During the island suicides, I ran through a huge cobweb at the top of the hill and frantically wiped the web off myself so fast that I flung my wedding ring off of my finger. Looked around for 5 seconds but didn’t want it to derail my first Q, so I moved on with the workout. Thankfully many offered to help, and I was able to find it after the workout.
  • One of the closest relay races witnessed at the end. BLC’s pristine merkin almost put his team behind, but Spyglass pulled out the win for them with Horsehead from the opposing team only a stride length behind. Everyone went all out in the race, so it was a slow slow mosey back for most of the Pax.
  • Orange Whip and Rhapsody really pushed each other during the light post merkin run and pushed the pace of the whole workout leaving everyone spent trying to keep up. Good work.


See you guys next Friday.


His joy comes with the morning…

13 men posted at Kevlar this morning…but before I get to that…..

I nearly forgot all about writing backblasts then after seeing some new FNGs recently I remembered how much I loved reading them when I first started F3. I would wait check often to see when they were posted and loved remembering the humor that comes out of each workout. So, here’s my first one in a long time and I’ll plan to keep making time for them going forward because at one point they were pretty important to me….

Psalm 30:5

“…sorrow may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning”

This verse kept popping in my head the past year….

Thanks to my F3 brothers

I was out of F3 for the past 12 months and made it back out about a month and a half ago. I’ve shared the story too many times recently but I was getting terrible hives all over my body whenever I worked out or got hot (even 5 mins in the sun) until the hives spread to my throat and cut off my breathing (seen Hitch? yea that). After a couple of ER visits and a dozen doctor appointments it was determined that I had mold toxins in my body. Once it was diagnosed I was able to take medicine and slowly I was able to work out again. I was told things by traditional doctors like “This is a lifelong thing” and “it’s going to take at least  3-5 years to run it’s course”. If anyone knows anyone dealing with this let me know because it’s debilitating and I’d love to help them. P.S. you need a naturopathic doctor to help you.

I could go to the air conditioned Y to lift but had to take it really slow. That’s often where I saw other F3 guys. I’d see them running in to the Y together, see guys running on the street early in the morning. I almost hit the Sparta runners in a crosswalk one morning. It was really hard to see guys working out because a big part of my life was taken away. I did not have cancer or a terminal illness but taking F3 away from me (and many other things I love to do) was just depressing. My wife couldn’t handle it because I would sit on the couch on a Saturday and just sit…I couldn’t exert myself at all or I would be miserable.

One amazing thing about being away of F3 were the brothers who reached out over the year to check in. I even had guys drop by my house just to see how I was doing. I know I’ll miss someone here but I’m extremely grateful to the following guys who took time out to see how I was doing:  Squid, Joker, Spackler (after 5 whiskeys at a party he heard the full emotional story and maybe a weird hug), Hops, Alf, Tolkien, Horsehead, Purell, Gypsy, FaultLine, Manziel, Hopper, Witch Doctor, Funky Cold, Cheese Curd, Rhapsody & Wormwood (and many more). You have NO IDEA what it meant to have you all touch base and see how things were going. It was very lonely year and it helped to know that I wasn’t forgotten. So, THANK YOU

I started running again slowly before coming back to F3 and one particular morning I was running through Kevlar AO and past the rock pile that we use and the sun was coming up over the trees and I was just so happy to be running. I raised my hands to the sky and praised God and remembered  “though sorrow may last through the night, His joy comes with the morning”. His mercies are new each morning and He has promised that if we believe in Him, no matter how sorrowful our lives may get, He will deliver us.

He taught me a lot in the past year about pride, selfishness, anger and so many other things that were sinful in my life. It was a long year but I grew in other ways outside of the firm quads I used to have from all the Monkey Humpers. Now I’m back and I’ll just say to you all, please don’t take it for granted. Wake up early and push hard because it can all be taken away…


On to Kevlar:

13 guys came out this morning including 3 pre-runners (Horsehead, Rhapsody and myself)

Not sure how far we ran but Horsehead explained to me the beauty of being able to make fun of people to their face at F3 (instead of social media) and the risk of getting punched in the face is what makes is so much fun. That’s all I remember about the run.

The Thang:

  • SSH, Merkin warmup
  • Run to Reid Hall hill – 20 sit ups at bottom, 20 merkins at top x3
  • Grass hill – P1 runs hill & 5 merkins at top – P2 does LBCs x3
  • Merkin Parking Lot Space Death Crawl – that name sounds good to me….
  • Long loop – P1 runs loop, P2 lunch walks – catch me if you can (once)
  • Rock pile to field – 3 sets
  • 40 shoulder press (30, then 20), 3 burpees at midfield, 20 merkins at the end x3
  • Rock work – shoulders, bicep and el stomache
  • Line up and race back home and we were done.

Ye Mole:

  • Chubbs (6 week FNG) has been pushing extremely hard since joining the PAX and has shown some speed and competitiveness already after spilling merlot a few weeks back. His posse bailed on him this morning but he’s been the most consistent of the newbies that keep posting.
  • Rhapsody texted me at 10 last night telling me that Stinger and Ice 9 were going to check out Kevlar. Not sure why but for some reason it felt like when the principal comes to “observe” the English class to make sure things are going okay. Anyway, I tweaked my Weinke to get some more running in because they are beasts.
  • Some discussing ensued about Ice 9 Q’ing Kevlar in a few weeks and the horror stories of his Qs started coming back into my brain. When it happens, I’m warning you – at 5:29 his eyes start glossing over and it seems as though he’s about to enter into the abyss – and he’s going to take you with him. It’s a dreadful 45 minutes.
  • I hadn’t worked out with Stinger in a while but quickly remembered, after he questioned my sit up number, that he likes to keep the PAX “accountable”.  He patronized Rhapsody almost the entire workout, but he was strangely used to it – like a big brother punching him in the head while he is trying to go to bed and just taking it in stride.
  • Horsehead tested his theory on getting punched in the face and asked if I had been to the tanning bed because of my really really ridiculously good looking tan arms and the tank top I chose to wear. My theory: never waste a good tank top.
  • It was awesome seeing  Run Stopper for the first time in like two years, two days in a row. Dude is 50 and absolutely destroying it.
  • Numbers have been good lately at Kevlar and other sites. Keep it up, invite a friend and let’s try to get our region motivated again.

July 3rd CONVERGENCE at Kevlar (with Joust). 6am launch time for a 1hr long workout. Hops & Ductwork will lead. 

-Orange Whip


14 guys are just getting used to the steam of summer and showed up for a moderate run and lifting session.

The Thang

Run around church – warmup

Head to Bro-Gym and in a circle we had 45lb and 25lb plates. Split into two groups

Group 1 stays and does (burnout workout) with either a 45 or a 25

Group 2 runs with 45lb Kettlebell around the median, the group must run behind the KB runner.

Exercises included: Shoulder Press, Curls, Squats, Good mornings, all the stuff you’re familiar with.

Music playlist included Bob Seger, Greta Van Fleet, Queen and Clapton.

The Mole

I saw Hops at Brooklyn Pizza last night and he said he would not come unless I promised to incorporate some shake weight exercises…apparently his broke due to overuse. Once your forearms reach a certain circumference you are supposed to stop using it and see a doctor.

I sent out the Bat Signal to “Bananas/Good Hands” on Twitter by stating that we would be lifting weights today – works every time

I took a crap in the woods before the workout. Just thought someone should know.

Squid uses a Loofah, thought all of you should know.

Steer clear of the Dowd Y and now the Harris Y locker rooms unless you want to be the target of some men who have broken a few shake weights themselves…Rhapsody can share the details

Red Baron made his second trip to Kevlar – the 59 year old 2 week FNG was killing it! We’ve got two guys at 59 at Kevlar (Cage). Double respect is upon us.

Speaking of, Cage knew every word to Radio Gaga and killed the double hand clap. #BabyBoomer

Bananas said that chest pressing a 45lb plate felt like throwing a baby in the air. Only Bananas could breed 45lb babies.

When “Like a Rock” came on Pop Tart claimed that this was his wedding song. That probably took in the most laughs this morning.

Good work done by all…


Paintball June 8th in Rock Hill at 10am
A51 versus SOB

Feelin’ cute, might post at Kevlar. IDK.

9 men from the gloom showed up very last minute, as they assessed the rain situation, to put in some miles and enjoy some laughs.

The Thang

Warmup stuff

Run over to Bubbling Well – 7s at each lampost with jump squats and merkins

Double hill partner 7s – jump squats and hand-slap merkins in the middle

Rock pile – circle of pain

  • One guy calls out exercise with rock and does 20 jump squats as the timer
  • Rotate clockwise to next rock
  • We made one full rotation around with squats, shoulder presses, curls, thrusters, etc.

There was more to the workout but no one really cares – 3.3 miles total


During the disclaimer I toggled my iPhone on my arm band and – a safety measure I try to always bring along – I gave the PAX my phone passcode so they could make an emergency call. Bulldog naturally commented on some of the salacious photos he suspects that I keep on it. This kept his mind distracted for the full 45 minutes.

We recalled an old joke that is not appropriate for this setting which led Rhapsody to admit how a Brazilian infomercial is what finally convinced him that he liked girls.

I ran close enough to Turkey Leg to hear about his Boston Marathon adventures and how not to poop for 3 hours and 15 minutes, something I’ve never accomplished (marathon or not poop for 3 hours) #myescaperoom

Lex Luthor always drops one good line each morning. He commented on Harley’s jump squats which looked like a wild dance move – it was actually pretty dope. I think he watched the new Beyonce doc on Netflix.

Speaking of Netflix, NBC is eventually going to take the Office and Friends off of Netflix and launch their own streaming service. If you have Netflix stock, sell it right now. 60% of Netflix’s function is to serve as an Office re-run platform.

Manziel was in there boosting our Browns to Bulldog trying to convert another fan. Jump on the bandwagon while you still can. I’ll root for Tottenham all day if we can add another Browny to the mix. #SuperBowl2020biatches

Great group there as always – what a blessing to be healthy & live in a place where we can wake up and freaking workout with dudes for free before the sun comes up with no threats on our lives (except cars).

God is good, through good times and the bad – but this was a good time.


Dr. Freeze

The Witch Doctor came back from a back injury and delivered a heavy beatdown for 14 dudes, including two FNGs.

The Witch always has trick up his sleeve (you should hear about his homeopathic vasectomy methods – it includes a lot of rubber bands)

The Thang

Run to CCS circle and warmup with SSH, Merkins and LSS

Run to neighborhood – 7s on the hill with jump squats and merkins

Run to gazebo. P1 runs to first light at cemetery, P2 does called workout (Step ups, dips, merkins and LBCs)

Run to grass hill on Cov. Church Ln. and do more 7s with full sit ups and burpees

Back to lot for some Mary and done!


Christmas wore a hand knit beanie his mom made for him. Serious props for that bold move. Can she make F3 ones for all of us?

Tackling Dummy made a return to Kevlar and came out of the gates like the starting Quarterback.

Horsehead, Pudding Pop and I did our best Monica Seles impersonations while considering FNG nicknames

Cage (R) and Big League Chew (R) continue to crush father time.

Harley, Tacking Dummy, Horsehead, Spencers (FNG) all have kids at Covenant Day and talked about the challenges of not having free school lunch and how annoying it is that the 75″ smart screens in the class aren’t “touch screens”.

Fault Line brought an FNG of his own (Head Banger) who pushed as hard as anyone out there.

Squid did all of the exercises perfectly, the sun came up this morning and water is wet.

Cottontail found a new business associate in Spencers – always trying to make a buck. 🙂

For some reason the PAX tag box isn’t working so here was the group: Puddin Pop, Cage, Big League Chew, Fault Line, Christmas, Cottontail, Squid, Horsehead, Tacking Dummy, Orange Whip, Witch Doctor (QIC), Harley, Head Banger (FNG), Spencers (FNG)

Nice work homos….Homo-Sapiens.

-Orange Whip (Ghost writer for Witch Doctor)

They say it’s your birthday…(VQ)

We decided to celebrate Orange Whip’s Birthday this morning with a 36 special since this was his last workout at 35. We rarely go 36 reps on anything and it really took the wind out of some of us, and we heard it definitely take the wind out of one of us…

In my first Q I managed to keep us under shelter when the rain stopped and out running while it was raining. Fortunately, these men are plenty comfortable in the gloom.

I’ll go ahead and quit now before I make myself sick… again.

The Thang

Ran in the rain over to the shelter to do the following exercise

36 – Side Straddle Hops

6 – Merkins

36 – Mountain Climbers

6 – Merkins

36 – Russian Twists

6 – Merkins

36 – Spider Mans

6 – Merkins

36 – Single Leg Lunges

6 – Merkins

36 – Shoulder Taps

6 – Merkins

Stepped out and found that the rain had stopped, but headed back to the shelter with the rock just in case.

Rock Pile – Get a Rock

Partners – opposites

1 – 36 Curls with Rock

2 – Plank Up Downs – Elbows to hands

1 – 36 Triceps Ext

2 – Dips

1 – 36 Rock Squats

2 – Jump Squats

1 – 36 Sit Ups with Rock Extension

2 – Louganis

1 – 36 press

2 – Flutter Kicks

Left the shelter only to find the rain had picked up but we toughed it out til the end.

Back to Parking Lot


Frog Hops

Side Shuffle – Side Shuffle

Bear Crawl

Bump Lap Parking areas

Down one side of the parking lot and back.

Finish With a loop and a puke…


10 men braved the dicey weather, and I was grateful for their encouragement and perseverance in my VQ. Thanks to all, plus we got to see the Wild Hog that Cottontail shot on his land. The thing had real tusks and everything.

Thanks to Cottontail who took us out, and also for the reminder that the Bible Study happens at Panera at Arboretum post workout, so get on it.



Shelter from the storm

‘Twas in another lifetime, one of toil and blood
When blackness was a virtue the road was full of mud
I came in from the wilderness, a creature void of form
Come in, she said
I’ll give ya shelter from the storm

– Bob Dylan


(BB from Kevlar on Friday). Great song by Dylan. Cold, rainy and miserable is how the morning started. 4 guys had mistakenly pre-committed to come to my Q the day before, one (Big League Chew) just came on his own because he’s BA. Fortunately Kevlar has a lit shelter that we can use on days like this.


I thought I may be running solo and a few guys were texting on the way asking if I was going to cancel the workout. We ended up having an awesome morning.


The Thang


Run around church, warmup with various exercises ending in a “side bear crawl merkin circle” – I’ll use it next time but it was  good group to test it on.


Benches – 10 derkins, 10 dips, run to rock and back 3x


Grab a lifting rock, a partner and head to the pavilion

P1 – Did exercise with Rock (timer)

P2 – Did exercise without rock

One guy was the counter (ex. P1 did 20 curls while P2 did SSH)

Basically 20 sets or so of this (step ups, chest presses, louganis’s, shoulder press, etc.) until we ran out of time. Total strength workout with lighted pavilion away from the rain. Somehow it even got a little hot in there.




Mile High came back out after a 6 month-ish hiatus. I met him on an airplane initially and he posted (hence his name) then after not seeing him for a long time I saw him on a cross country flight to Seattle last week. He knew he had to come back out. After that he posted on Saturday (A51) and today (Matrix), 3 times in 4 days!


Solid group of guys did not regret it!