Author Archive OrangeWhip


14 guys are just getting used to the steam of summer and showed up for a moderate run and lifting session.

The Thang

Run around church – warmup

Head to Bro-Gym and in a circle we had 45lb and 25lb plates. Split into two groups

Group 1 stays and does (burnout workout) with either a 45 or a 25

Group 2 runs with 45lb Kettlebell around the median, the group must run behind the KB runner.

Exercises included: Shoulder Press, Curls, Squats, Good mornings, all the stuff you’re familiar with.

Music playlist included Bob Seger, Greta Van Fleet, Queen and Clapton.

The Mole

I saw Hops at Brooklyn Pizza last night and he said he would not come unless I promised to incorporate some shake weight exercises…apparently his broke due to overuse. Once your forearms reach a certain circumference you are supposed to stop using it and see a doctor.

I sent out the Bat Signal to “Bananas/Good Hands” on Twitter by stating that we would be lifting weights today – works every time

I took a crap in the woods before the workout. Just thought someone should know.

Squid uses a Loofah, thought all of you should know.

Steer clear of the Dowd Y and now the Harris Y locker rooms unless you want to be the target of some men who have broken a few shake weights themselves…Rhapsody can share the details

Red Baron made his second trip to Kevlar – the 59 year old 2 week FNG was killing it! We’ve got two guys at 59 at Kevlar (Cage). Double respect is upon us.

Speaking of, Cage knew every word to Radio Gaga and killed the double hand clap. #BabyBoomer

Bananas said that chest pressing a 45lb plate felt like throwing a baby in the air. Only Bananas could breed 45lb babies.

When “Like a Rock” came on Pop Tart claimed that this was his wedding song. That probably took in the most laughs this morning.

Good work done by all…


Paintball June 8th in Rock Hill at 10am
A51 versus SOB

Feelin’ cute, might post at Kevlar. IDK.

9 men from the gloom showed up very last minute, as they assessed the rain situation, to put in some miles and enjoy some laughs.

The Thang

Warmup stuff

Run over to Bubbling Well – 7s at each lampost with jump squats and merkins

Double hill partner 7s – jump squats and hand-slap merkins in the middle

Rock pile – circle of pain

  • One guy calls out exercise with rock and does 20 jump squats as the timer
  • Rotate clockwise to next rock
  • We made one full rotation around with squats, shoulder presses, curls, thrusters, etc.

There was more to the workout but no one really cares – 3.3 miles total


During the disclaimer I toggled my iPhone on my arm band and – a safety measure I try to always bring along – I gave the PAX my phone passcode so they could make an emergency call. Bulldog naturally commented on some of the salacious photos he suspects that I keep on it. This kept his mind distracted for the full 45 minutes.

We recalled an old joke that is not appropriate for this setting which led Rhapsody to admit how a Brazilian infomercial is what finally convinced him that he liked girls.

I ran close enough to Turkey Leg to hear about his Boston Marathon adventures and how not to poop for 3 hours and 15 minutes, something I’ve never accomplished (marathon or not poop for 3 hours) #myescaperoom

Lex Luthor always drops one good line each morning. He commented on Harley’s jump squats which looked like a wild dance move – it was actually pretty dope. I think he watched the new Beyonce doc on Netflix.

Speaking of Netflix, NBC is eventually going to take the Office and Friends off of Netflix and launch their own streaming service. If you have Netflix stock, sell it right now. 60% of Netflix’s function is to serve as an Office re-run platform.

Manziel was in there boosting our Browns to Bulldog trying to convert another fan. Jump on the bandwagon while you still can. I’ll root for Tottenham all day if we can add another Browny to the mix. #SuperBowl2020biatches

Great group there as always – what a blessing to be healthy & live in a place where we can wake up and freaking workout with dudes for free before the sun comes up with no threats on our lives (except cars).

God is good, through good times and the bad – but this was a good time.


Dr. Freeze

The Witch Doctor came back from a back injury and delivered a heavy beatdown for 14 dudes, including two FNGs.

The Witch always has trick up his sleeve (you should hear about his homeopathic vasectomy methods – it includes a lot of rubber bands)

The Thang

Run to CCS circle and warmup with SSH, Merkins and LSS

Run to neighborhood – 7s on the hill with jump squats and merkins

Run to gazebo. P1 runs to first light at cemetery, P2 does called workout (Step ups, dips, merkins and LBCs)

Run to grass hill on Cov. Church Ln. and do more 7s with full sit ups and burpees

Back to lot for some Mary and done!


Christmas wore a hand knit beanie his mom made for him. Serious props for that bold move. Can she make F3 ones for all of us?

Tackling Dummy made a return to Kevlar and came out of the gates like the starting Quarterback.

Horsehead, Pudding Pop and I did our best Monica Seles impersonations while considering FNG nicknames

Cage (R) and Big League Chew (R) continue to crush father time.

Harley, Tacking Dummy, Horsehead, Spencers (FNG) all have kids at Covenant Day and talked about the challenges of not having free school lunch and how annoying it is that the 75″ smart screens in the class aren’t “touch screens”.

Fault Line brought an FNG of his own (Head Banger) who pushed as hard as anyone out there.

Squid did all of the exercises perfectly, the sun came up this morning and water is wet.

Cottontail found a new business associate in Spencers – always trying to make a buck. 🙂

For some reason the PAX tag box isn’t working so here was the group: Puddin Pop, Cage, Big League Chew, Fault Line, Christmas, Cottontail, Squid, Horsehead, Tacking Dummy, Orange Whip, Witch Doctor (QIC), Harley, Head Banger (FNG), Spencers (FNG)

Nice work homos….Homo-Sapiens.

-Orange Whip (Ghost writer for Witch Doctor)

They say it’s your birthday…(VQ)

We decided to celebrate Orange Whip’s Birthday this morning with a 36 special since this was his last workout at 35. We rarely go 36 reps on anything and it really took the wind out of some of us, and we heard it definitely take the wind out of one of us…

In my first Q I managed to keep us under shelter when the rain stopped and out running while it was raining. Fortunately, these men are plenty comfortable in the gloom.

I’ll go ahead and quit now before I make myself sick… again.

The Thang

Ran in the rain over to the shelter to do the following exercise

36 – Side Straddle Hops

6 – Merkins

36 – Mountain Climbers

6 – Merkins

36 – Russian Twists

6 – Merkins

36 – Spider Mans

6 – Merkins

36 – Single Leg Lunges

6 – Merkins

36 – Shoulder Taps

6 – Merkins

Stepped out and found that the rain had stopped, but headed back to the shelter with the rock just in case.

Rock Pile – Get a Rock

Partners – opposites

1 – 36 Curls with Rock

2 – Plank Up Downs – Elbows to hands

1 – 36 Triceps Ext

2 – Dips

1 – 36 Rock Squats

2 – Jump Squats

1 – 36 Sit Ups with Rock Extension

2 – Louganis

1 – 36 press

2 – Flutter Kicks

Left the shelter only to find the rain had picked up but we toughed it out til the end.

Back to Parking Lot


Frog Hops

Side Shuffle – Side Shuffle

Bear Crawl

Bump Lap Parking areas

Down one side of the parking lot and back.

Finish With a loop and a puke…


10 men braved the dicey weather, and I was grateful for their encouragement and perseverance in my VQ. Thanks to all, plus we got to see the Wild Hog that Cottontail shot on his land. The thing had real tusks and everything.

Thanks to Cottontail who took us out, and also for the reminder that the Bible Study happens at Panera at Arboretum post workout, so get on it.



Shelter from the storm

‘Twas in another lifetime, one of toil and blood
When blackness was a virtue the road was full of mud
I came in from the wilderness, a creature void of form
Come in, she said
I’ll give ya shelter from the storm

– Bob Dylan


(BB from Kevlar on Friday). Great song by Dylan. Cold, rainy and miserable is how the morning started. 4 guys had mistakenly pre-committed to come to my Q the day before, one (Big League Chew) just came on his own because he’s BA. Fortunately Kevlar has a lit shelter that we can use on days like this.


I thought I may be running solo and a few guys were texting on the way asking if I was going to cancel the workout. We ended up having an awesome morning.


The Thang


Run around church, warmup with various exercises ending in a “side bear crawl merkin circle” – I’ll use it next time but it was  good group to test it on.


Benches – 10 derkins, 10 dips, run to rock and back 3x


Grab a lifting rock, a partner and head to the pavilion

P1 – Did exercise with Rock (timer)

P2 – Did exercise without rock

One guy was the counter (ex. P1 did 20 curls while P2 did SSH)

Basically 20 sets or so of this (step ups, chest presses, louganis’s, shoulder press, etc.) until we ran out of time. Total strength workout with lighted pavilion away from the rain. Somehow it even got a little hot in there.




Mile High came back out after a 6 month-ish hiatus. I met him on an airplane initially and he posted (hence his name) then after not seeing him for a long time I saw him on a cross country flight to Seattle last week. He knew he had to come back out. After that he posted on Saturday (A51) and today (Matrix), 3 times in 4 days!


Solid group of guys did not regret it!





Sparta, party of one

If you were like myself (or Bulldog) you accepted to Substi-Q a workout without looking at the long-term forecast this week. If you were awake last night and heard the downpour you were hoping no one would show and you could go back home and cuddle up with a warm blanket, a book and some coffee (or if you’re Bulldog, a warm cup of tea, a crumpet and game of chess). One person showed up for his, no one showed up for mine.


Instead of running the .3 miles into Sparta I drove and waited, 5:14 rolled around and I thought I was good to go but then a car rolled in. I checked with him and he was waiting for Peak 51 to start. I couldn’t believe Gypsy wasn’t there as he had hyped up the workout really hard, but whatevs. I was out of my car at 5:15 and thought that I was up and I should put in some mileage. A little angry to be awake and running alone I ran two hard miles and for some reason decided to head back to Peak 51 to work out with them.


When I got back there were 4 PAX waiting on their Q to show up. 5:31 rolled around and no Q – so I offered my revised Weinke and did a little double-Q action. Having never worked out with any of them before and wearing my bright yellow tank they were reluctant, but it was more of an assumptive sale.


The Thang


(Warmup behind Seaboard)

Run to Matthews Building Supply – hill work

3x up and down with 20 merkins at bottom and 20 jump squats at the end


Downtown Matthews

At each lampost – 20 Sister MCs, 20 Carolina Dry docks (alternate at each one)


Freemont Street

Ran to my house, grabbed pavers and did strength work in a circle. At the end everyone got a bottle of water from my garage.

Back to the school. Done.




  • First time I’ve ever been to a workout and no one showed, fortunately this site is a double AO and a PAX was provided.


  • Lois was apparently headed in to tell the PAX that Peak 51 was off, and said he saw us take off and let us go into the gloom – good call.


  • Gypsy just flat out slept in.


  • Horsehead was texting me talking smack about how much the workout was gonna suck and how he wasn’t going to be there.


  • All 4 guys did awesome on a run-heavy workout. I think Peak 51 is “moderate” but these guys killed a non-moderate workout, and got some good running in.


  • Shake N Bake was running hard and came in from Waxhaw to post, only to go back home shower and go to work. There are very few people who would drive 20+ minutes to post in the rain that was happening at 4:45 when he had to have woken up. Very impressed.


  • Lumberjack and Keely – both over 50 – kept pushing hard throughout and Madoff told me he was getting back into running since having a bunch of kids and kept pushing till the end.


I told my wife that I Q’d the “moderate” workout instead of Sparta and she said “If it’s the moderate group then why are they the only ones who showed up?”. Deep burn.


Always appreciate the opportunity to lead and am thankful that there are always people to find in the gloom.


Harley is on at Kevlar tomorrow – do it. Do it.

Matching Outfits

Today I wore my knee high red socks and also happened to wear a red Adidas shirt and red shoes. I looked like I was trying out for the high school soccer team (with the likelihood of getting cut), which Hops made sure to make fun of, and deservedly so. What’s wrong with looking good and working out? Orange Theory gets to do it, yoga chicks get to do it, Pure Barre gets to do it – why do we have to be the workout junkies? Because that’s the way it’s supposed to be…I won’t make the mistake again Hops.


Thorough Mermaid approved disclaimer given and we took off.


Run around church, quick warmup, and across the street to the neighborhood hill.


1st stop – 10 merkins at the bottom, 9 at the top, 8 at the bottom, etc….it was about a mile distance to get warmed up.


Rock station – grab a partner and grab a lifting rock

Parter 1 – 10 reps of given exercise, Partner 2 – 9 reps of given exercise…down to 1 and then run

  1. Shoulder Presses (2x)
  2. Louganis’s (2x)
  3. Curls (2x)
  4. Burpees

Before Burpees we dropped the rocks and did reps of curls, shoulder presses, chest presses (2x) and tri-extensions in cadence rotating our rocks to the left twice.


Down to parking lot – plank over parking line

5 merkins, sideways crawl to next parking line, 5 plank jacks, crawl back to original spot 4 merkins, crawl back and do 4 plank jacks, all the way down to 1.

Run back to lot and we were done.




Really random group of guys came today, lots of new guys, regulars and some F3 legends as well. I love it when that happens.


Joker brought out the football at the end of the workout. This should be a regular thing at all workouts.


Night Court recently had his 3rd child, a 3rd daughter (Vivian Renee) congrats brother…and nice knowing you. Cottontail is a financial adviser and he has 13 kids so he knows what he’s doing. Befriend him now.


Racquet came out for his second workout (after being an FNG last week) – he was killing it today. I think his name will stay the same after some initial threats to change it to something….well worse.


Archie came back out. We’ve missed the sub-18 year old presence but he looks as fast as ever…and stronger too now that he plays football and doesn’t run cross country anymore


Wham-O is getting married next week. We offered to be his groomsmen and he didn’t turn down our offer.


Cage showed up to the lot 3 minutes late, he finally found us with 12 minutes to go. I would love to have a video showing him running around looking for us for 30 minutes.


Prayers for Darth Visor and his family. An Alpharetta F3 brother who passed at a workout. This is the worst thing that could happen at a workout, obviously, so let’s be prepared for it. I always carry my phone on my arm when I Q. When a minute or even seconds could mean life or death it’s something we should all consider.


Thank you Hops for taking us out.


Thanks for all who came and for agreeing to follow a bright red, douchly-dressed pretend soccer player into the gloom.


-Orange Whip

No, you hang up

7 guys showed up this morning for Sparta – head lamps up, A51 royalty – Joker made a rare appearance,  Horse Head made a crack at me and Chin Music telling each other how great of a job we did on the Raintree hills on Tuesday (No, you hang up), disclaimer mumbled, and we were off…


My Thing


  • Run to parking lot – quick warmup and over to the Greenway


  • Run down Greenway to long wooden bridge and go into the neighborhood (Country Place Dr.) – run hill with 3 rest-merkins at each lampost on the left


  • Run through Downtown Matthews to Brakemans and do 4 corners (10 burpees at each corner)


  • Run to Freemont St – 2 laps up and back with 10 merkins at the top and bottom


  • Down to my house on Freemont where I had paver coupons waiting – 20 shoulder presses, 20 curls, 20 squats then run up the hill 3x


  • 50 chest presses and 50 shoulder presses, run up the hill with the paver.


  • Grab a drink from the cooler on my front porch (or as many as you can carry) then before you open it, sprint to McDowell St.  COT with Peak 51.

Total: 5.34 miles at a 9:19 pace with lots of stops in between.




Chin Music and Joker were at the top of the leader board and everyone else hung on close behind – lots of stops and starts which can put a lot on a man.


Horsehead has been recruiting hard for this site, and for good reason, it’s the balls. Seriously you can make it to Sportsplex, the Greenway, Crestdale Middle, Kevlar/Skunk site, downtown Matthews, etc. and it’s really well lit.

Lots of talking between sets, which Gypsy got pretty angry about. He doesn’t like idle time, but sometimes the girls just need to dish.


I brushed the pavers off last night before making them available to the PAX. I have a bad history with ants and termites in and on my coupons and I want to work on being more considerate.


We’ve been missing Madison who is the site Q, allegedly.




Pease pray for Tulip’s daughter who is in the hospital with an infection and pneumonia. She’s been in for a while and hopes are that she won’t need surgery.


SFN in downtown Matthews the weekend of Nov 10th (need volunteers)

Vibrating Alarm Clock

My FitBit band recently broke while playing basketball, leaving me with, well, only the middle “bit”. I use the vibrating alarm feature to wake me up so I don’t wake up the whole house.


It’s set to 3 times –  4:45am, 4:47am and 4:50am. There is a backup alarm on my phone set for 5am. With only the “bit” I had been putting the piece into my underwear at night and hoping that it would wake me up (where else would it stay close to my body?). This morning it didn’t and my back up phone alarm had to wake me. Either the feeling in my pants was too enjoyable to get up or I’m losing feeling down there – regardless, I’m excited that my new FitBit band is coming in the mail today. My wife is starting to get jealous.


The PAX enjoyed that story when I shared it this morning – also, for some reason no one would shake my hand at the end of the workout.


The Thingy…

7 of us took off and headed for the Library


Warmup – calf raises, lunges on stairs to library


Circle up on concrete bench and partner up  

P1 – Run around Library

P2- Dips, Derkins and Step ups

Run lap 2 together

Flapjack for lap 3

Round 2 – same thing but P2 does Situps, Incline Merkins and Step Ups.


4 Corners – .5 mile loop from Seaboard, down train tracks, back around to downtown Matthews

Round 1 – 5, 10, 15, 20 jump squats at each corner

Round 2 – run .5 mile loop, no stops


Increasing Merkins at each light post down to John St. – 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 – real burn here.


Over to Freemont St – 10 power planks, 10 mtn. climbers at each light post (5 or 6 total) to stop sign.


Run over to Jefferson St. Loop 

P1 – Runs Loop

P2 – Lunges forward until P1 relieves him


Run over to Freemont St. through my garden – had log coupons in my front yard

Choose a heavy log – 20 shoulder presses, run up to the stop sign 3x.


Run to Greenway – on your own run through the greenway, through the wooden trail and meet up with Peak 51 at Matthews Elementary.


4.7 miles and we’re done. 




Lots of sweat and almost no talking today after we got done with the first 4 corners.


Animals were aplenty this morning as we ran into some deer, rabbit and a very recently dead squirrel.


The entire PAX was within 50  yards of each other this morning. We had a good pace and a lot of strength stops mixed in – getting 4.7 was pretty good all things considered but I hoped for 5 – next time for sure.


The Jefferson St. loop was not only a great hilly road but also has the oldest kiln in Mecklenburg County residing on it – it’s a huge piece of crap.


Thurston is changing jobs and moving to Durham soon – he’ll surely be doing F3 when he gets there but best wishes to him and his family. He’s been a regular for a while and we’ll definitely miss having him in A51.


Gypsy was touting a new SFN bike race – I was messing with my phone when he was talking so ask him for more details.


Check out the entire route we did on “Relive” which is an app that does an aerial view of the workout. I’ll try to post it to Twitter.


Sparta is turning into one of my favorite AOs and I can’t think of a better place to run – well-lit, small town, almost no traffic, hills a plenty.


After 4 days of running my nipples are turning into raw meat…between that and my vibrating alarm clock in my pants I’m pretty sure this post may get flagged.


Good work today fellas – awesome push on a muggy day.


Out – Whip

Details are hazy

I had a pretty bad run of not writing backblasts and my conscious has finally taken over. Typically I’d done them within a few hours but like anything, you start slacking a little then you start slacking a lot. Food, laziness, whatever your vice. I have many. Rhapsody has more.


Last Friday’s Kevlar was a good burn with a better group of guys that deserves to be published.


The Thingy – total mileage 3.4 miles


Aldi warmup – circle up, SSH, Merkins, Squats, etc.


Run to Downtown Matthews to back of Seaboard and do 4 corners (.5 mile loop)

Round 1 – Corner 1 – 20 Merkins, Corner 2 – 20 situps, Corner 3 – 20 Merkins, Corner 2 – 20 situps

Round 2  – Corner 1 – 10 burpees (do this at each corner)


Run back to campus – on Cov. Church Ln. – Sprint, Mosey, Sprint, Mosey, etc. between each telephone pole until we get to the rock pile.


Grab a lifting rock and 1 partner

P1 – Run 50 yards

P2 – Shoulder Press

300 total – Flapjack


P1 – Run 50 yards

P2 – Chest Press

200 total – Flapjack


P1 – Run 50 yards

P2 – Tri Extensions

150 total – Flapjack


Reverse run back to main lot –  alternating forward and reverse between the telephone poles.






Busch and Rhapsody talked endlessly – well anyone running with Busch talked endlessly. It took some serious running to wear them out a bit.


Drive By changed jobs and now spends his mornings with us – he always did in the summer as a teacher but it’s good to see him back in the rotation.


Christmas is becoming a Kevlar regular and was moving fast all morning.


I knew Cage had an injury earlier this year and as a Respectful mid-50 year old he always impresses me. He stayed with it even though we had a long run in.


Witch Doctor just got back from Italy and got engaged there – happy for him for the next stage in his life.


4 of us made it to Mancave – led by Busch after the workout.