Tags: Bottlecap, Deadwood, Dancing Bear, Chainsaw, Rockwell, Damascus, Schedule C, Toto, Loafer, Fuse Box, Dasher, Hollywood, Trojan, The Knish, Moneyball
15 pax sampled fare from afar before we got down to business. Mistakes were made this morning, mistakes were made. Here’s how it went down:
DiCCS issued. YHC reinforced my status as “not a professional”. First mistake was me announcing 4 new moves I’d borrowed from Johnson City F3 that YHC was sure would deliver results for the pax and complaints/cheats from Briarcrest. Second mistake was saying we weren’t going to be on the streets. Off we went. Within 15 seconds Dasher informed me the road we were on was in fact, a street. I told him it wasn’t a real street. He bought it.
Mosey down #KeithJongHill strategically placing 4 cones on the path down the steepest bits. Deadwood started guessing what YHC had in mind, but grew concerned with the cone count. “I don’t like where this is headed” and “How many of those things do you have?”, were his two most memorable comments. Complete the mosey down #KJH past the vet clinic to cross Providence (mistake #3). Mosey across the street to that building with the nice parking lot. No idea what that place is or what they do, but they have nice black top.
Mistake #4 was skipping SSHs in favor of Motivators. A “Motivator” is supposed to be something like a deconstructed 4 part jumping jack counting down from a number. I picked 7 IC. It goes full SSH (7IC), half arm SSH (7IC), No arm SSH (7IC), Hops (7IC). Mistake #5 – YHC screwed up Motivators. It was good as the pax weren’t as motivated to try the Motivator as I’d hoped. Audibled out of that into Mistakes #6,#7, and #8.
Johnson City called them Picking Cherries. Basically IC Moroccan Night Clubs with palms up (#6) and then palms down (#7). 25IC each. This did not go well. BC went full Frack on me. In fairness, the explanation was null. Also in fairness, it was possibly the most worthless exercise move this side of the Bear Crawl. Mistake #8 was what they referred to as the “Shoulder Pretzel”. Arms extended, bend elbows and touch shoulders and then touch traps. 25IC. I banged this after 5. Mistake #9 Merkins on my count. Meant to stop at 15, but accidentally stopped at 16. Hamstring stretches for Lou. Had to get back in his good graces after the earlier debacles! Enough, mosey to bank lot for a little partner work. 25 Dry Docks and we were off.
Partner up. Mistake #10. We had odd number of Pax. Partners run opposite directions and hand slap merkins. Sets of 5/4/3/2/1. Grab some wall with shoulder presses. Partner wall sits and presses while other partner runs lap. At each corner Dry Docks. 3 laps per partner. Sets of 5/3/1.
Mosey back up Providence towards Waxhaw. Mistake #11 cross Providence in a disjointed, not-all-together manner. Jog to bottom of #KJH. Once we made it to the designated starting place we had to wait on some pax. Not sure if one was peeing and the other was holding it, or if one was peeing and the other had a light on it or exactly what was going on up there. Anyway, finally, something challenging-ish.
Deck of cards: Hearts=Hand release Merkins / Diamonds=Diamond Merkins/ Clubs=Carolina Dry Docks/ Spades=Squats
Mistake #12, selecting a workout with multiple outcomes/instructions. Naturally, Damascus had questions about how this portion worked. At each cone, do the exercise. 4 cones and then finish climb to laundromat for burpees. 5 burpees first time, 4,3,2,1 and then run back to the bottom
Card 1: 10 Hand Release to the top then 5 burpees / Mistake #13 lost cards momentarily, but thankfully found by Damascus. Card 2: 10 Dry Docks, burpees / Card 3: 11 Squats / Card 4: 10 Dry Docks / Card 5: 7 Hand Release
I think that’s how that bit shook out. Mercifully made it back to COT.
Good work by everybody. Thanks for the patience with the #MistakeFest this morning. John Maxwell said, “Fail early (check), fail often (check), but always fail forward. All you newbs out there…don’t let fear of failure keep you from leading a workout. The screw ups are worth the laughs, I promise! Oh, but when you do screw up, be sure to come up with something brutal to make up for it/them and get even with the pax who complain!
Damascus debated with himself about what the upcoming workout schedule was. Convergences are going on all over the place. Check with him…or don’t
Congrats to Trojan landing the new gig. We’re glad Deadwood convinced himself he convinced you to come. We’re glad you decided to come that first time and have continued ever since. Good on you, man. We’re lucky to have guys like you in our group. Thanks for speaking up. Next step…VQ!!!!
Bottlecap took us out.
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