Thunderstruck!

Thunderstruck!

26 PAX at the Wednesday Hump Day Bootcamp in Waxhaw, NC at Marvin Ridge MS/HS campus known as Dromedary were Thunderstruck! by Rockwell and his Daily Red [Beats] Pill [of music].

– Posted on behalf of Rockwell

WARM UP

  • Side Straddle Hop x 25 IC
  • Imperial Walker x 20 IC
  • Potato Pickers x 10 IC
  • Mountain Climber x 20 IC – hold it!
  • Plank Jack x 20 IC

THE THANG

  • Partner up – Get a lifting rock
    • Curls – Partner 1 Curl / Partner 2 to the top of the lot – 3 Burpees then flap jack – 100 combined
    • Tricep Press – Partner 1 Tricep Press / Partner 2 to the top of the lot – 3 Burpees then flap jack – 100 combined
    • Shoulder Press – Partner 1 Shoulder Press / Partner 2 to the top of the lot – 3 Burpees then flap jack – 100 combined
  • Return rocks and Mosey to the field
    • Partner 1 run across field 3 jump squats / Partner 2 Carolina Dry Docks then flap jack – 100 combined
  • Mosey to wall – 40 Air Press
    • Partner 1 over the wall – quick lap around the fence / Partner 2 Donkey Kicks – 100 combined
    • Grab some wall – 40 jabs in cadence
  • Mosey to the picnic tables 20 SSH waiting for the six
  • Back to main parking lot
    • Box Cutter x 20
    • Pistol LBC x 20
  • Finish with THUNDERSTRUCK – Plank for the whole song Thunderstruck,,, Merkins every time you hear the word Thunder.

 

MOLESKIN

I hinted via GroupMe the day before that the 80’s playlist may make it’s return but that didn’t stop 26 fellow F3’ers from showing up and working hard.  We have consistently been averaging 20+ at Dromedary.  Awesome!  After a quick warmup lap and some basic exercises to get the blood pumping we went to work with some motivation from Van Halen,. It was all downhill from there.  The fellas of F3 continue to inspire me in more ways than you know.  During the workouts you hear conversations about work, family, church, encouragement, etc…  The conversations tend to change to out of breath, heavy breathing as the minutes tick by!  But, as we all know this group is much more than just a bunch of guys trying to get in shape.  I always enjoy the camaraderie and working out with such a great group!

 

Great job to everyone for pushing through during “Thunderstruck” at the end of the workout.  I thought that song would NEVER end!  Geez, brutal!

 

Thank you Shop Dawg for taking us out with the prayer!

 

ANNOUNCEMENTS

  • Watchtower – July 4th.  1776 workout.  Wear blue or red. 6:30 am.  1 hour workout.
  • Blackhawk had a good turn out for the first workout this past Saturday.  Saturday mornings 6:30-7:30.  Walnut Creek Park.

Stretch and destroy

Six of Area 51’s stretchiest PAX descended upon the Scout Hut for this week’s installation of Gumby. Here’s what it looked like:

First, we had to get the mood lighting set. So, it was a Bambi Lamp morning.

Start, as usual, in shavasana. Devotional came from Swanson’s tribute to Cheech that is floating around the F3 social-media space. We concentrated on the aspect of wearing our faith on our sleeve — we want to live our lives in the way described in 1 John 4:13-15 so that at the end of our own lives, we might reflect 2 Timothy 4:7-8.

From corpse, stretch out, arms above head, start moving hands, feet, fingers, toes.

Knees up for a series of windshield wipers, followed by a series of bridge stretches.

Then, sit up, feet together, knees out for some butterfly stretching. We did about 50 “flaps” of our knees, then, brought our feet closer in and pressed knees close to the floor, using our elbows to try and press. This brought back memories of joy and pain from YHC’s time as a teenaged Tae Kwon Do prodigy student.

Stretch legs straight out and touch your toes.

Move to table top for some cat/cow, followed by side bends.

Sit back on your feet, stretch hands out into child’s pose, moving over to the left and right.

Back to table top for broga’s version of the burpee — sun salutations! We did 5 — first one led by YHC, then the next 4 OYO.

Then came some chair work —

Sit back into chair, arms up. YHC decided to bring an aspect of the people’s chair to Gumby, leading 5 slow air presses. After that, arms out straight, then back up.

Recover. 1 burp, er, sun salutation OYO.

Back into chair:

Arms up, 5 air presses, arms up, arms out — now, leave your left arm out, grab your right leg, and move into dancer. Standard advice of “find something to concentrate on” given, YHC still stumbled around. Apparently talking, balancing and concentrating is too difficult.

Leg down, arms out, arms up. Recover. Salutation OYO.

Repeato, flapjacking with left leg back into dancer.

Final set: arms up, 5 air presses, arms up, arms out, right leg back into dancer, then tip forward onto your block/water bottle/whatever into High Tide’s favorite: Half moon. Back to dancer, leg down, arms out, arms up. Recover. Salutation OYO.

Repeato, flapjacking with right leg back.

Now it’s time for some war face with warrior!

Right leg back into Warrior 1, Warrior 2, lean in with your FORWARD foot (thanks to Swiss Miss for helping YHC when he was confused about left/right), back to Warrior 2, turn and face to the right.

Arms out, slow descent into good ol’ leg stretches. Walk your hands back, then to the left and right. Ascend. Warrior 2, Warrior 1. Mountain. Yoga burpee OYO.

Left leg back into Warrior 1, Warrior 2, lean in, back to Warrior 2, turn to the left, 5-count windmill. Warrior 2, Warrior 1, Mountain, Saluburp OYO, meeting in plank.

From plank, swing right leg back and forward into pigeon, really leaning in to get down onto the elbows. Unwind, move back to plank and flapjack.

Unwind, back to plank, then back to corpse, devotional review and finitio.

Count off, name-o-rama, announcements, lock shields and Tweetsie took us out.

-30-

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Kinetic Heights field trip on Friday. Pre-run at 0500, workout at 0530. See the Kinetic Trips channel on Slack for more details.

Convergence at the American 4 Miler on Tuesday — this will also be the debut of the Speed for Need chairs. Skunk Works should be on as scheduled, but, as of right now, there is no Q, so, get with Harley if you feel so moved to lead. Otherwise, I guess the regulars will just show up and do a bunch of swings.

Paper Jam on the Q next week!

GREENSKINE

The morning got off to a great start — I fartsacked through my own pre-run alarm, leaving Tweetsie to explore the mean streets of downtown Matthews on his own. This also resulted in his first Site Q panic attack as Tweetsie didn’t know if I was awake and was planning to actually show up. You’re welcome.

I hope everyone enjoyed the workout. I tried to mix it up a tiny bit with different poses in different flows (like the dancer-to-half-moon bit) and add some new wrinkles, like the air presses. I also tried to concentrate on the lower body, as most of my upper body is still on fire after Skunk Works yesterday, but that’s another story.

Now to the most important part of any Gumby BB — THE MUSIC. I had a complicated setup that was the envy of the PAX. This also helped me keep track of time, since (1) the Q can’t see the clock in the hut (2) the clock has been dead for the last couple of weeks … maybe as an act of service we should bring some fresh batteries?

Oh, and hey, speaking of BATTERY …

So, once the music started, some gentle cellos filled the Bambi Lamp-lit room and all was well. Then Swiss Miss asked the million-dollar question:

“Is this ……. Metallica?”

YOU BET IT IS. Today’s soundtrack was provided by Apocalyptica, a Swedish cello quartet that plays Metallica covers (and other metal type tunes). I referred to it as “oddly soothing.” Not sure what the other PAX thought of it. Some were probably horrified not so much by the music, but that I knew about this group.

The official set list was:

  • Nothing Else Matters
  • Sad But True
  • Seek and Destroy
  • The Unforgiven
  • Welcome Home (Sanitarium)
  • Wherever I May Roam
  • Battery
  • Enter Sandman
  • Creeping Death
  • Harvester of Sorrow

This is all off the aptly titled album “Plays Metallica by Four Cellos.”

As always, this is one of my favorite groups, and this workout is essential for me just as a way to keep myself fresh as the wear and tear of other workouts builds up. Thanks to Swiss Miss and Tweetsie — it was an honor to lead, and I hope to do it again as soon as Sept. 13!

Form 101

Sometimes we get caught up with trying to move as fast as we can; we (I) can power through a movement without regard for proper form. Which is counterintuitive with why we get up so early. It’s to work out! So proper form is quite necessary. We always need someone to help remind us nowadays.

Quick Disclaimer – Welcome FNG John Wood. …And we’re off to the Murderhorn. No warm up; no hi-fives. Mosey down the ‘Horn to the playground/pool. Plank for the six; avoid the garbage truck.

Circle for warm up.
– Little baby arm circles front/back.
– Overhead claps/front claps.

Super 21 17 – (we only got 15 here).

Partner up at park entrance. Partner 1 runs up to the top of the Murderhorn. Partner 2 runs the other way down Elmstone to the cul-de-sac. Each pax does 10 bonnie blairs at their respective end, and runs back to meet partner for 20 hand slap merkins. Flap jack routes, and copy/paste.

After one revolution, we all ran to the bottom of The ‘Horn for # 16, and 17 of Super 21. Back up to the top and over to the cars.

M’Skin:

– YHC got called out for my merkin form on Super 21 by Haggis. “Those aren’t Merkins Mate”. I’m sure they were terrible.
– Welcome John Wood from Avon, PA – now known as Mary K.
– Not much else to report in an almost week late BB. Another form fail! Sorry Mate.

Announcements:
– Does it matter. I’m a week late. Cobains.

Tennis Arms UNITE!

SInce YHC likes to stay current with today’s hot topics, what better way than to go with a Tennis theme with all the McEnroe/Serena banter.  What?  PAX don’t pay attention to tennis?  YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!

WARMUP

With 2 FNGs in YHC’s clown car, FULL disclaimer given after the lecture on the ride over. Cue the bad music and let’s roll

  • Mosey all the way to Tennis courts with exercises along the way
  • Enter Transporter
  • SSH x 25
  • IP x 25
  • Various Merkins x 25
  • Exit Transporter
  • Potato Pickers x 10
  • Box Jumps x some
  • SSH x a few
  • Plank Jacks x 25

1st SET

  • Time to get the #TennisArms swole (or modify to an exercise if you are Frack)
  • Partner up with opposite fitness level
  • P1 does fence excercise/P2 does exercise to and from tennis net
  • 2 times for each
  • #1:  Balls to Wall/Bear Crawl
  • Enter Transporter
  • #2:  45 degree balls to wall/Crab walk
  • #3:  PC with air press/Duck Walk

2nd SET

  • Mosey to Brick pile
  • Grab 2 bricks each for more #TennisArms
  • Colt 45s IC
  • Shoulder flies x 25
  • Curl to Press x 25
  • Steering Wheel x 25
  • Drop the bricks for AYG to top of hill and back

3rd SET

  • Put bricks away and mosey to bus circle with PC/Air Presses along way
  • Exit Transporter
  • P1 exercise/P2 runs circle x 2 laps each
  • #1:  Burpees
  • Enter Transporter
  • #2:  Monkee Humpers
  • Mosey back to COT
  • American Hammer x 30
  • GAME, SET, MATCH

POST MATCH ANALYSIS

  • Transporter either is really nervous during tennis matches or has SERIOUS bowel issues
  • Good to see Camacho post on a weekday
  • Nice job by the FNGs pushing themselves today; Kudos to Jingles and Posse for the encouragement
  • FNG Lamar apparently sprayed his knee brace with horse manure perfume #clowncarreakage
  • FNG Baby Bell going full Ken Griffey Jr with backwards ball cap
  • Impressive modifying by Frack; 75% of exercises were modified, 95% of exercises were bitched about, 100% of Merkins didn’t have a frown
  • Doc McStuffns and Goodfella really got into the #TennisArms spirit by throwing around a tennis ball the entire workout (Doc’s throw needs work Moneyball)
  • Damascus and Shop Dawg sneaky fast today
  • Love having Hollywood out there to push everybody; amazing to see how fast he can run after Monkee Humpers
  • Speaking of Monkee Humpers, the PAX had QUITE the dialog about the actual act.  Damascus would rather be celibate apparently
  • Thanks Shop for the nice takeout

ANNOUNCEMENTS

  • No Sanctuary this Monday 7/3 (following week will be covering Chapters 11-403,873)
  • Sign up for American 4 Miler to support Speed for Need; pre-workout available

Fast Twitch BB

After a night of excessive tweeting and “uncomfortable chatter” from Alf, 24 PAX showed up for another session of Fast Twitch. After a 3:30 wake up call (#dadlife), I decided to surprise the PAX 10 minutes early. Van Pelt arrived at 4:15 and was catching up on his #TweetBox and re-runs of Golden Girls on Netflix. When I got out of the car, I heard Purple Gaze asking if I’d show up on time. [Editorial Note: Empirical researchers, aka Purple Haze, predicted my BB execution at a whopping .33% probability rate…]

El Thang:

Run to first pseudo major intersection for merkins, interrupted by multiple vehicles. Millennial impatience overtook Rachel and we left.

Run toward Arboretum in Raintree with lunge walks somewhere in there. Attempted dips on wooden fencing (ill advised), so we left. Attempted dips on steel structure (advised) X 30.

Run to the nasty hill north of Raintree CC with nastiness on either side for an A51 Matterhorn.

Main Entree: 5 burpees on one side of the mtn., run to the summit for 5 burpees, run to the other side for 5 burpees, run all the way back for 20 over/unders (4 count), repeat X4. [Editorial Note: Gummy noted 3-4 ghost vehicles with “car up” before slowing down personally. Hops and Hannibal didn’t buy it.]

Mosey back to said steel structure for dips X 20, derkins X 12.

Mosey to bottom of some street in Raintree for Mosey: insert exercises.

Mosey back to AO.

Naked Moleskin:

When did S. Charlotte Middle become a Run 4 Yo Life signup center? There were more .036 oz. belly canisters and gel pouches than I could shake a stick at when we got back to COT.

More happened on Twitter before, (possibly) during, and after this workout.

Gummy called out more actual, real vehicles than fake vehicles even with 3-4 assists.

Hairball was an active participant on the Tweetbox but nowhere to be found. Sightings of his Miami Dolphin tattoo (signed by Dan Marino), shirtless were reported in NoDa this morning.

Rachel was his normal, polite self. After lap 2, he finished reading me Chapter 2 of his favorite fiction novel and took off.

Hops was Mr. Brady-wet when he arrive at COT. It was gross.

Mr. Brady was Mr. Brady-wet. Gross.

Semi Gloss wasn’t there. #sigh#

One Eye tried to rekindle SOFAWIB on yet another Tuesday morning, to no avail.

Strawberry wore his customary Fast Twitch F3 camo-red sweatervest which is an effective wardrobe choice during reenactments of Red Tornado. In all seriousness, I have sweater-envy.

I expected a lot more out of Alf today. Minor, uncomfortable chatter for the first 50 feet and then he went silent. I hope things are okay.

Joker’s legit dudes. Crushed it per usual. He’s 45 and beats me on the Matterhorn. His claim is that he’s in better shape at 45 than his 31 year old self. Amazing. He talked a lot…I listened.

Hops crushed the takeout per usual. Solid send out.

Thanks for the chance to bring the heat this morning. Customer satisfaction surveys are in and we have an average of 4.8 out of 5 stars. Only Mermaid dinged me for not providing a state-compliant disclaimer before leaving. Next time…

The Escalator – What goes down, please don’t come back up…

27 PAX thought better of a cool morning in Summer than to waste it in the Fart Sack, so they descended on Swift to meet the Escalator.

The PreBlast: http://f3nation.com/2017/06/26/preblast-escalator-what-goes-down-must-come-up

The Moleskin:

  • Crazy stuff on the Strava Fly-By, which shows that 16 of 27 PAX were using a GPS-enabled fitness watch to record their efforts this morning.  If you aren’t using the LAP key on your watch during intervals (hit it each time you start and stop an interval), then you aren’t using it effectively as you could to know your effort during the “Work” interval and during the “Recovery” interval. Knowing your distance and pace overall is a tiny fraction of information that you could be getting. Having said that, PAX covered between 8.5mi (Bunker – who pre-ran the pre-run), 7.5mi (VooDoo – he was at the prerun?, Haggis – who never pre-runs but had a post-run today), 7.0mi (Fahvra – who didn’t do anything pre or post, but ran off into the distance on all intervals and still passed most on the way back), and 5.5mi (Louis C? – must be one of the new guys).
  • Partial credit goes to Tuck on coming up with this workout.  While we’ve done a descending interval workout at this speed before, we’ve never done anything that went back up.  Enron got sick thinking about it, and Tuck took vacation to avoid it.
  • If it wasn’t for the Preblast put out there yesterday, the time spent programming the watch for the workout, and knowing that PAX are asking for some structure to a workout, YHC probably wouldn’t have shown up this morning after feeling pretty poor last night and early this morning. And then stressing out on the prerun when the watch program wasn’t syncing, reinstalling apps, logging into accounts, pairing watches, all while in motion, YHC threw up in the mouth a little. Fortunately once 0515 came around, we were off.  Disclaimer forgotten.
  • Interval Pace (check the preblast for explanation) is designed to peg your Heart Rate right at or under your max.  You can’t physically exceed your max Heart Rate, so if you are working harder than max HR, it’s wasted effort in this kind of workout.  Running at your max HR with intervals will build that endurance (some fitness watches try to measure this as a VO2Max reading). However, that also means that you have to push yourself into the uncomfortable zone of getting to max HR.  Longer intervals of 3 min or more allow this, but with shorter intervals, it’s more difficult.  That’s why the recovery also comes down with the length of the interval (recovery at this speed is the same time length of the interval, or no less than 1 minute less than the interval).
  • Cobains for the longer warmup route, but impressed that everyone did the 1.3miles.  Normally, I’ll try to give a route that anyone can comfortably do in 10-11 minutes.  After all, the warm-up is all about getting moving.
  • Tons of new and recent faces out there today.  Erector, Birdcage, and Buckeye are becoming more regular, but there were newer faces of Sauerkraut, Sherlock, and Bait-n-Switch (who was a FNG today, EH’d to Bagpipe, but couldn’t find them, so he fell into the Swift group like he knew what he was doing).  Somehow, even Bucky at some point was even running with the horses – couldn’t tell if he just wanted to sprint up Bagpipe hill, or was there from the start – but as you all know he’s hard to miss with his gazelle-like strides.
  • Even if you haven’t heard of him, from him, or about him, continue to watch out for Depth Charge. While he has been out to Swift for a while now, not many PAX get 4th Overall in an incline trail challenge.  Well done!
  • Welcome to the track meet!  With Fahvra leading the way (at first, even pushing a SFN chariot), Frasier on his heels, ThinMint and Haggis chasing, and JRR TOLKIEN right there (even if it was just for one or two, HE WAS UP THERE!), there was some speed on display today.  While JRRT took a few off to show the other PAX how to push the chariot, Bunker, General, and TigerRag closed the gaps to the leaders.  Then Gumbo and FireHazard wouldn’t let themselves be passed on the “back” sections, which likely means they sandbagged or had really even efforts.  And then the other PAX were in there somewhere.
  • OneNiner sped off on Bagpipe Hill bound to capture a PR on the segment.  However close he was (2 sec off his best), OneNiner still looked impressive as several PAX including General and Haggis gave the no way, not today looks as he flew by and gave no chase.
  • Rebar, Meatloaf, Rock Thrill, Picasso, Abacus, and Chipotle also strong out there today.  This varied group is great about putting in the work and encouraging the PAX around them to get better.  I’m currently checking Cheddar’s (South Charlotte Q for the BRR) lists to make sure all of these PAX are on BRR teams.  If not, I bet SlimFast will recruit you soon!
  • Thanks again for showing up in droves today.  All it does is to put pressure on each of us to give our best for the day, which a lot is just showing up.
  • NO SWIFT NEXT WEEK ON JULY 4th!  Convergence at 0530 at the Trader Joe’s / 4 Mile Creek Greenway for a Run-focused workout from Rachel!  http://f3nation.com/2017/06/26/worlds-collide-july-4th-runvergence/

Announcements:

  • Timekeeper, the 3rd F following Swift / Bagpipe at the Einstein Bagels will be starting a summer topic – the Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis on July 11th.  You can pick it up for $5 on Amazon.  The group that meets at Timekeeper, typically 5-8 guys each week, welcomes you even to drop in on the conversation, grab some coffee, sweat in the air conditioning, and connect with the PAX each week.  Look forward to seeing you there.

 

Burnt Forearms at Skunkworks

A solid 23 accepted the challenge of putting on the big boy pants and showed up for the toughest workout in the S. CLT area.  YHC is always trying to bring something a little different and new to the pax at Skunk.  So, if you google tough kettlebell workout, you get something like this:

 

The Thang:

Two handed swings x 20

Good mornings x 15

Low slow KB squat x 10

 

KB suit case carry x 40 steps (~30 sec)

20 swings 

Repeat as we mosey down our normal Farmer’s carry route

“Omaha” called as we were too slow and we had lots to do.

 

15 mins later we were at the bottom of the hill by the church doors

 

Teams of 4 spread out with KBs:

PT 1- (timer) AYG up to the top of the hill

PT 2- KB squats at top time 1 tags you to go to PT 3

PT 3- mid way back doing KB snatches til PT 2 tags you to go to PT 4

PT 4- at church doing 2 KB swings til PT 3 tags you then you run up the hill

Repeat for another 15 or so mins (maybe 4-5 rounds)

 

Mosey back to parking lot for Circuit work

 

Circuit work: 20 sec on; 10 sec rest x 3 sets for each exercise

KB Halo

Mt. Climbers

KB Swings

Squat Jacks

Merkins

High Knees

Burpees

 

COT

 

Moleskin (Naked):

Comment for feedback:  good, bad, etc.  YHC wants to hear from you.

Good work by all on the Suit case carry with swings:  forearm burner, ouch!

Relays were a little hard to explain but I think they did the trick.  Solid work by each group.

Circuits:  YHC sometimes does this workout in my garage with a few more additions.  It’s a good one and maybe one you’ll see again.

 

 

 

NoDo Run

We going North Donut route tomorrow morning. Here is a map.

Turns:
-Run down Rea (just like you are running the Reverse route)
-Left onto Providence Lane West
-Right onto Lancer
-Left onto Old Providence
-Left onto Sharonview (at light)
-Left onto Carmel (at light)
-Left onto Colony (at light) and back to start

The weather will be nice (62*!) so there is no excuse. Afterwards, we shall all devour donuts and watch Tiger Rag roll out every part of his legs.

An Elvis Sighting!

7 brave souls vanquished the power of the fart-sack and attacked SVMS with a vengeance! (some later than others!)

A little HB mile to get us warmed up.

THE THANG

COP:

No FNGs, but disclaimer provided.

SSH x 25 IC

5 Burpees on your own

IW x 15 IC

LSS x 18 IC (slip up by Q – wasn’t the intended ending point)

Circle of Pain – 5 or 6 rounds (holding plank or 6-inches position – as the wave goes around the group)

Mosey to the track by the tennis courts.

Main Event:

We partnered up for a little Dora 1, 2, 3

Round 1:  Partner 1 begins with merkins while partner 2 runs a lap on the track.

Flap-jack until 100 total between the partners

Round 2: 200 squats between the 2 with interchanging laps

Round 3: 300 LBCs between the 2 with interchanging laps

About midway through Dora, HB strolls up looking quite refreshed and wondering what all the commotion was about. He quickly jumped in and finished the set with his group.

After the Pax had completed the set, a 5-burpee penalty for HB’s tardiness (although at that point, 10 would have been more appropriate!).

Mosey to the football stadium for a little stair work.

Not 7’s, not 11’s, but 12’s!

 

Initial call was for Merkins at the bottom and dips at the top – with each set = 12 (starting with 1 merkin at the bottom/11 dips at the top). After the 1st attempt, it was determined dips at the top were not a good option – (thanks for call-out HB) – flip the order.

I know this was a group-pleaser, as HB loudly proclaimed during this round of fun, ‘I like 11’s better and 7’s even more’. The combination of the humidity with the called reps were a true-test of everyone’s internal fortitude (which brings us to the Elvis sighting).

About halfway in & at the top of the stadium, I hear a very distinct sound from my partner for the day (Squiddo) – followed by a, ‘do you think those bathrooms are open, dad?’. After several failed attempts of reaching school facilities, I had to bail on the group to get my 2.0 to facilities at the closest gas-station. Since HB was so well-rested, it only seemed fitting that he step in to continue to lead the Pax.

I perused just about every inch of the Shell station while Squiddo took care of business.

MOM:

We made it back just in time for MOM to be wrapping up.

We were able to finish up flutters with the group.

Back-scratchers

Rosalita’s

And dollies

And that’s a wrap!

Thanks HB for stepping in! I believe there was some wall-time as well, after the merriment of 12’s were finished.

Few announcements: I gave an update on our pending move and asked for prayer’s for Judy’s brother Jeff. He was diagnosed with lymphoma about 5 weeks ago and is not doing well.  Also mention of Cheech’s family and the driver of the car.

At Coffeeteria – there was also a Woodie sighting – good to see him out and about, but not recovered enough to participate in the first F.

Great job guys!

It Was All A Dream…

Ahh, Horsey Mc F*ck Face, the AO only a mother could love.  After selecting the perfect outfit for the occasion, at 5:15, on a downright chilly summer morning, I led the Pax out of the lot to see what the arse had in store this week.

Activities

  • To the bottom of Blue Ridge.  5 x Up with 10 merkins at the top each time.  Lee staking his territory up front right away.
  • Mary at the flagpole to collect the Pax.
  • Loop around Mountainview to Wilby back to where it meets Mountainview.  Plank to collect the Pax. Merkins IC x 7, Hold it, Diamonds IC x 7, Hold it, Wide-arms IC x 7
  • Out to Sardis via Wilby, on to Sardis Rd North, and then to the Alt Lurker (sponsored by Breitbart News Co.)
  • AYG or at least most of what ya got (MOWYG) up the alt lurker, recover pace onto Sardis N, quick right on Beverly, continue the recover pace around the bend, HIT IT on the downhill runway, back around to the bottom of the alt lurker.
  • Mary
  • Repeat
  • Mary
  • Repeat
  • Back to the top of Blue Ridge via Sardis and Wilby.
  • Mountainview loop one more time, back to flagpole.
  • Pledge
  • To the bottom of Blue Ridge.
  • AYG to top for 15 merkins and back to the house (so much grumble chatter on that call)

Nekkid Chatter

One day this past January at Sunday Se7en, just after I took a wrong turn and inadvertently joined F3 Running Club, Fish tells me he is reviving some weird shit down south that they call Horseface or something, but he will rename it Monday McF*uckity, and we will run many hills and be better people.  “Sure, sounds great” I say, “but I have a Q commitment on the first Monday so won’t be able to attend.  But it is a hill workout you say? Cool, I will find a hill by my AO and we will do some repeaters.” Fish says,”no, you don’t understand, you won’t be able to replicate this where you are”. “Okay”, I say. Inner dialogue, “what the f*ck is this guy talking about? A hill is a hill and you run up and down it a few times and call it a day.  To quote Floyd in between honey bear bong hits “Don’t condescend me man, I’ll fuckin kill ya, man”.

So off I go on my merry way until the following Monday when I finally arrive at that godforsaken place at the corner of Sardis and Old Bell (why so far off the grid?!).  It’s so cold and so dark and then Blue Ridge and Mountainview and Wilby and Alt Sardis appear out of the gloom and it is terrible.  A truly awful place,  Where did it even come from?  What glacial event do we owe this pleasure?  Did I go through a wormhole somewhere around Providence Day and end up in the Swannanoa Valley?  Days turned to weeks turned to months of showing up at this shitshow every Monday morning and ruining a perfectly good week.  It all culminated in Fish’s Famous 5k which we ran twice for good measure. I think Favrah finished both legs before I competed one.  But at least it’s over.  I run my race, I finish respectably, and I bury the awful memories.

Fast forward to earlier this month.  Chelms aka Tatertots (who is in the running, and the leader in the clubhouse if you ask me, for most bizarre F3 name.  Nothing even comes up when you Google Chelms.  And tatertots, while delicious, seem rather random as an alias.  I also want to call him T-tots but I don’t know if he would find it offensive.  While we’re on it, I think Chelms aka Tatertots was #refusenik on the last hill climb today.  That’s fair, I think the point was made that this is not a bootcamp so don’t treat it that way. I treated it that way.  I am a voracious reader of the comments sections and I saw where Horsehead himself said NO RULEZ EXCEPT FOR THE PLEDGE) sends out the bat signal that Horsey shall return for a 12 week run leading up to BRR.  So the whole thing wasn’t a fever dream.  This place exists, in real life, and this time I will see it in the light of day… in July… in Charlotte… in 85% humidity…for 12 weeks.  IN.  Like the Muthaship before it, the only way to conquer one’s fear is to wear that f*cker out.  That’s why, yesterday, when Fish gave the Sunday Se7en option to run to Horsey, do a 4 mile loop, and then run back, I said hell yeah I’m in.  That was after I realized he wasn’t kidding and that was really the plan.  I really thought he was kidding.  The only way to flatten out those hills is to take every available opportunity to get after it.

It’s as shitty as I remember.

The mumble chatter when you arrive at Horsey is so subdued.  Not sure if it’s because of the melding of different regions in one place, or 5:15 is 15 minutes earlier than 5:30 (fact check please), or if it’s so f*ckin dark in that parking lot that I can’t tell anyone apart from anyone else. I think the real reason is the anticipated shitiness of what the next hour will be. Strong efforts out there this morning.  As mentioned up top, the Russian took the lead early and never relinquished it. He will now report back to Putin that the Americans are the weaklings that they assumed us to be.  I meant to keep my eye on him during the pledge.  I bet he just mouths the words and doesn’t even say them.  My man Powell repped for the Sparta crew. I had the pleasure of meeting Powell’s wife and daughter at the farmer’s market on Saturday morning. Bet you didn’t know that YHC has hippie tendencies and buys illegal unpasteurized milk for his children on the blackmarket at said market. Anyhow, Powell told me that, along with some family, he is opening a brewery near the New Bern light rail station in the coming months.  Seems like a good idea.  The other 427 breweries in CLT are packed to the gills with those damn millennials on their cell phones.  I’m sure they can support one more.  Also, someone notify the party planner, I am sure Powell would love to offer up the venue for the Christmas party and provide a bunch of free drinks and food.  Turkey Leg was out at McFuckity in the winter.  Those were all facts right?!  It was snowing and uphill both ways every week right?  Vouch for me here bother! Tweetsie.  Goddamn, what a f*ckin inspiration this guy is.  Homey is deep six every week, but continues to put in the work like a stud.  I heard he may have had an intestinal episode this morning and that’s why he couldn’t join us at the Alt Lurker. But there he was, running the loop with Snowflake (RESPECTS, I’ll be damned if I am out here with you bozos in another 15 years.  Same goes for Chelms aka Tatertots who is ringleading like a champion. I should only be so lucky) when we returned.  Ready to rejoin the Pax and pledge it up.  Triple claps to you Tweetsie.  I am glad Federalist is on my team at BRR or else I would get beat by an old dude. Everybody keeps commenting on Blackjack being Slimjack, but I have only recently met him as thin, fast Blackjack, so pics or it didn’t happen. Chin Music was the first chaser all morning long keeping the pressure on Drago.  What a name!  From Wikipedia (so you know it’s true):

American street slang[edit]

In American slang, chin music is a term for idle talk. It dates back at least a century: “There’s too much chin music an’ too little fightin’ in this war, anyhow” is a quote from Stephen Crane’s 1895 novel The Red Badge of Courage. It can alternatively be used as a euphemism for punching someone in the jaw.

Baseball[edit]

In baseball slang, it means a pitch that is thrown near the batter’s face. The pitcher‘s intent may be to cause the batter to move “back” such that it is more difficult to hit a future outside pitch, to frighten the batter into a poorer batting approach, to intimidate opposing batters, or to actually hit the batter with the pitch. If the umpire suspects the pitcher of either of the latter two intentions, he may eject the pitcher immediately or warn both teams that any similar pitch will result in automatic ejection. The pitcher’s manager may also be ejected or warned if the umpire believes the manager ordered the beanball.

In the late 1800s, at baseball’s inception, the phrase “chin music” was used to describe razzing or heckling from the fans. It began being used as a synonym for a brushback pitch around World War II.

I assumed it was an inside pitch reference but it seems our Chin Music could be a guy that rambles on about nothing, knocked somebody the f *ck out, or delivered or received some inside heat?  Either way, I’m jealous, beats the hell out of Thin Slice.  Anne & Hope seems to have an uncanny ability to know where all Pax are at all times.  “Is the six in?” “No we have two more out there.”  He is also nominated for the bizarro name prize, even after the internet tells me that he may be named after a Rhode Island gift and garden store or a ship lost at sea off the coast of Rhode Island.  Did he go to Brown? I heard they have the naked parties there and don’t give out grades.  Tell me more.  Spooky Jon had to split before COT but it was great to see him.  Every time I see Spook I am reminded of one of my favorite F3 moments ever.  I was probably about 3 or 4 months into posting.  Saturday morning at the Worm (the Metro’s finest 6 am workout), and Spook had the Q.  We were working Tranquil off of Selwyn.  I believe the instruction was, “we are gonna run up and down this hill until time is up”.  Well after about 25 minutes of that suckiness, me and Spooky make the turn at the bottom and he announces this as the last trip up.  And so I look at him and he looks at me and there’s really not much to say, there’s two of us here, one hill, and one of us is gonna get to the top of it first.  We busted ass up that hill as hard as we could.  I think Spook edged me out, but when we got to the top, as Spook tried to call the next exercise, all he could get out, in the most dignified tone he could muster, as if he were addressing the bench, “THE Q NEEDS A MOMENT”…. f*ck yeah, I made that guy have to take a moment.  Maybe this awfulness is paying off and someday I won’t be the six.  I couldn’t tell if Hollins was pulling my leg at the Caffeine run announcements when he said he would be at Horsey after my shameless plug.  But to be fair, Fish plugged Diamondhead first and pre-blasted so I had to do something.  Thanks for the support Hollins #paaxsupportingpaxtheyhardlyevenknow. Or you just like Horsey regardless of the Q.  Either way works. When filling out the list of Pax I remembered everyone without even having to go to the recording device.  So proud of my memory, which used to be razor sharp before these kids, and when I still smoked cigs, but now is like mush.  Maybe I should check the device just in case.  ALF! Fudge, the one guy who introduced himself before the workout and I forget him.  Is there a more 80’s thing than ALF.  They made 102 episodes of that show.  Again, we go to Wikipedia for all truth in the world to find out that little people labor starts to add up:

While a puppet was usually used for ALF, there were some shots of the tiny alien running or walking around. This was accomplished by the 2′ 9″ (84 cm) actor Michu Meszaroswearing an ALF costume. This can be seen in one of the series’ intros, which concludes with the Tanner family getting their picture taken; ALF (played by Meszaros) walks over to be part of the photo. However, Meszaros’ services became too costly as well as time-consuming, and the full ALF costume was abandoned after the first season.

Let that be a lesson to you if you planned on midget wrestling at your next holiday party.  Looked to Stinger for the takeout, because Stinger is one of the guys who I will always look to for the takeout.  It’s Double Nickels at Sparta, it’s Little Baby Jesus when he is available, just because I like saying Little Baby Jesus whenever I can, reminds me of the Talladega Nights scene.  Stinger had some wise words last week in his Sharktank bbast.  From the Tclaps, looks like most of you have seen it already.  Reminds me of a Calligraphy print piece we have hanging in our home by the Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thích Nhất Hạnh, Love is being fully present. Try that on for size after a long day’s work when your kids are trying to tell you about their day.

Announcements

Metro July 4th Convergence at 6 am at Freedom Park gravel lot followed by the American 4 Miler where Speed for Need makes its first official debut.

Church on the street, Sunday mornings, early, feeding folks that need it. Chelms has the details.

Prohibition makes his 2017 Horsey debut as Q next week.

Enough of this.  Thanks for hosting fellas, this workout is the worst.  See you in a couple of weeks when I get back from vacay..

Thin Slice