Jack Webb and Amy Grant’s love child

Policies and Procedures

Hi, it’s Ickey, who’s joined the call?  For those on the phone, we’re still gathering in the room so we’ll get started in just a minute.  We’ll take role using the WebEx.  OK, it sounds like we have a quorum so let’s get started.  RockZero is still finding it’s legs under the new regime and the recently installed labyrinth of rules, regulations, charters, governance, and bylaws.  The old guidelines were simple, 3 miles and no burpees.  Sensible, except for the part about the 3 miles.  The new hierarchy of guidelines calls for alternating weeks of heavy and light (insert crude monthly cycle joke here), mandatory partner work, at least 3 miles, no burpees, the goldenrod copies of paperwork to be faxed to HQ, the lavender copies given to the site Q, and the ecru copies to be delivered by carrier pigeon to the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro.   YHC was assigned a heavy flow day, so we set out to accomplish our organizational objectives while remaining in compliance.  The eleven of us in attendance performed the following:

Run to the site of the old Day Zero site at McAlpine Elementary stopping a few times along the way to keep the group together while doing a mobile COT with side straddle hops, imperial walkers, merkins, etc.  Corporate raised some objections to the format but mobile is the wave of the future so they need to become more agile and nimble.  It’s tough to turn an aircraft carrier.

Upon arrival at Day Zero we partnered up, checked that box off the requirements list, and grabbed heavy rocks to satisfy another covenant.  Directions were to perform 200 repetitions of the called exercise, alternating between partners for sets of 25, and for the non lifting partner to do core exercises in the meantime.  Sets consisted of curls and LBCs, triceps extensions and sit-ups, presses and Freddie Mercuries, and squats and flutters rounded out the rock work.  We interspersed some mild sprints to help hit our mileage Key Performance Indicator number though Corporate was quick to point out that the fields were closed so our compliance dashboard would be yellow trending red.  Some rules must be broken in order to disrupt the status quo however.

Following the heavy rock work we ran back to the hot box at RockZero for some supersets.  We combined dips and incline merkins in order to realize synergies and optimize efficiency and performed sets of 25, 20, 15, 10, and 5.  The output was predictable, measurable, and manageable.  Once this phase of the deliverable was closed out we ran back to the launch lot.

After a cost/benefit analysis was executed and communicated, workout management decided to outsource Mary.  Ten core exercises were called, none of which were burpees, and we ended on time to remain in accordance with all applicable regulations.  Mileage ranged from 2.89 to slightly over 3, so the regulators will be happy and the organization including management will not face any penalties.  Legal was consulted, documents were notarized, and all artifacts were properly cataloged.

NMM: This was the first time in almost three years of F3 that YHC felt confident enough to make up parts of the workout on the fly having only planned a loose framework.  Leading workouts is still not something I am completely comfortable with so I appreciate the PAX’s willingness to follow.  That’s enough corporate jargon nonsense for now.  I hope I wasn’t talking on mute this whole time.  With that, we’ll close the call and give everyone a few minutes back.