There’s a distinct lack of 9-fingered saxaphone players … for a reason

Date: 2025-06-25 AO: sacs Q: hoover PAX: Cheese Curd, wildturkey, Roulette FNGs: None COUNT: 4 If the drummer from Def Leppard only has one arm, then you can play the saxophone with 9 fingers. Don’t be a little b*tch about it. Fire up that x-box, put on Rock Band, and ask yourself, “When you make love, do you look in the mirror?”
At least that’s what we took away from Wild Turkey’s reflection on Cheese Curd’s latest dating story. Pretty sure the random guy in Raintree who walked out of his house at that moment and headed to work regrets the decision to go into the office a little early today.
Call it another usual day at SACS, heavy stuff was carried, perspiration was perspired, and the SACS crew discussed the trending topics driving our social discourse. Then there was Cheeses Curd’s love life which fits in to said discourse like a Tesla at a demolition derby — quiet, confused, and probably on fire. The fire BTW is actually a burning sensation that you should talk to your doctor about.
It’s schwetty out there, kids. So grab some extra weight an lug it around the neighborhood, said no one ever. But at least we at SACS own our complete lack of smarts, unlike all the other workouts who find ingenious ways to make you feel like you’re in control of your own destiny (or the direction of the conversation). “It’s you vs you” or “It’s 0.0 so you don’t have to worry about running.” or “Lie down in this piss covered parking deck and take a breather as many times as you can in 45 minutes. Don’t mind the cockroaches. Or the cup of poo.”
No sir, at SACS we have a plan and execute on that plan. We leave no man behind, if only because then we’d miss out on all the witty banter from our resident counter-culture punk-rocker Wild Turkey. And Roulette’s dry banter that reflects expert-level inquisition skills only found in a father, “Did you just refer to yourself in the third person as ‘daddy’?”
A plan was hatched and executed on. Said plan isn’t important but it included 3+ miles, sandbags, rucks, and multiple rounds of what will likely be the lowest denomination of American currency. Oh yeah, and some hills.
WARMUP: didn’t need to it was already 83 when we started.
THE THANG: See above about how it’s not important.
MARY: Not sure if that’s the name of the 9-fingered saxophone player at the heart of our story. but either way we didn’t see her.
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Horsey half, BRR, Christmas Party, Wild turkey on Q next week
COT: the sweaty yeti took the crew out. there was no ball of man because that would’ve been gross.