Actual Slack conversation, secretly recorded by Omarosa, and documented in her new book “Unhinged”. Buy it now, before it goes on sale. Be one of the first and only to pay regular price.
Poptart: “You’re good to Q the Matrix Monday? You are on the schedule.”
Tolkien: “Litto Engrish. Me no werkout toomach now big boi.”
Poptart: “Be there, and make sure you signup for paintball…. we have 30 guys signed up so far, spots are limited.”
Tolkien: “Banzai!!!”
…
The rest is history. Hey, when you havent Q’d a workout for exactly 4 months #TRUTH, the backblasts are as terrible as the lead. Will improve next time. 12 men showed up to the Matrix and got something a little different, in the form of covering new ground South of the AO. With BRR approaching quickly, and the fact that YHC “muscles” haven’t been used for months, the goal was to focus a little more on the running… but of course, anyone doing the BRR would have just gone to Horsey McHorse, but whatever. Overall 3 miles were covered, intercostal muscles were stretched (thanks to the therapeutic stretchy green bands YHC brought) and everyone got a little bit of hillwork in on a new segment, which shall be called “Banzai Burnout on Strava” forevermore, a .18mile 7% grade hill in the lush darkness of Chestnut Hill Estates. Lots of records set, well, because it’s a new segment mostly (Rachel wasn’t there). King Of The Hill went to the determined Ocho Cinco, YHC took 1st place in the Mongol Category, and age-adjusted McGee got last… dead last #WAMRAP . We went up the hill a couple of times, and then ended with a brutal backwards run up, before heading back to the AO. Luckily noone got schmacked and shalacked by a Mack Truck on the death stretch of running to the hill. But, hey a disclaimer was given so #clearconscienceifdeathoccurred .
Everyone put in a solid effort this morning, and thanks Smoky for the takeout in COT. For some fun Monday inspiration for the naming of the hill segment, watch this from F3-Dads Camp. Honored to be given the reigns to lead this morning fellas. Have a great week.
Banzai Toast to New Segment ‘Banzai Burnout’
Tolkien’s Corner
Thanks again to everyone for your thoughts, prayers, checkups, smack talk, and support for much of this year while I’ve been dealing with auto-immune issues. Please let me know if I can pay it back, and will certainly be looking to pay it forward. As mentioned in COT, challenging you all to reach out to someone injured or just needs some encouragement. Little things like a few words, or a text message, go a long way.
Also challenging you all to commit the mission of F3 to memory, particularly if you are a regular… we workout so our bodies are prepared in situations where we are called upon to act and lead. Looking like Kid Rock is nice, but that’s not the ultimate purpose. He’d even tell you that.
The mission of F3 is to plant, grow, and serve, small workout groups for the invigoration of male community leadership.
Announcements
WHO PUSHES WHO!
JRR Tolkien
It was a Great morning out at Commitment. Great weather and an amazing breeze. Big Ten decided to show not knowing it was an hour workout.
My Thing:
Moleskin:
Frack was surprised that he was in the front most of the time. I guess that’s what happens when you work out with a bunch of Clydesdale’s. My dad, Delta, ended up just being a Chauffeur this morning. Drove me to the workout slept in the truck and drove me back. He was sick so I let him do that. Big Ten actually stayed for the whole workout even though he didn’t know it was an hour. Of course he had to leave right after.
YHC pulled into the lot and had a feeling would be light crew given vacation time. Slowly a few cars arrived to participate in a moderate workout. After a quick disclaimer, we were off…..
Warm up
2 Lap around the track
15 Imperial Walker
10 Merkins
10 Low Slow Squats
The Thang
1. Run across street to church
Pick a rock
3 rounds-
15 Bicep Curls
15 Shoulder Presses
10 Tricep Extensions
2. Run down Olde Providence toward Harris Teeter
Stop at every light pole or electrical pole, 5 Merkins
Continue toward the Walgreens parking lot for some Mary
Rosalita
Freddy Mercury
Flutter
Run back toward Olde Providence Elementary
Stop at again at light pole or electrical pole, 5 Squats
3. Circle Up for some Mary at launch
Rosalita
Freddy Mercury
Plank
Baby LBCs
4. Shoulder Work (benches under the oak tree near bus lot)
Round 1
Dips x 15
Durkins x 15
Round 2
Step Ups x 10
Incline Merkins x 10
5. Mosey back to the school parking lot with for the Starfish
Middle: 5 Jump Squats
Corner 1: 15 Carolina Dry Docks
Corner 2: 15 LBCs
Corner 3: 10 Lunges
Corner 4: 15 Wide-arm Merkins
6. Mosey over to the Playground for 2 rounds of the following
Pullups – 10
Merkins- 10
Step Ups – 10
7. Go to the field for 2 rounds of:
1. Bear Crawl -1/2 way
2. Lunge Walk ½ way
Time to finish off by grabbing some wall for the People Chair with 50 back stretches
Moleskin
It was my 2 year anniversary today from where it all started F3 here at Ascent (exact date 8/20/2016). My fitness has definitely improved, have developed relationships F3 brothers and most recently became site Q at Ascent. Thank you to the Area 51 brothers for your support and fellowship. Lorenzo pulled into the parking lot with his neon orange shorts today and certainty brought it today, strong showing. Lorenzo lunge walk form was also impressive almost to the point he was measuring the field. Great to see my friend Drano today, he’s been a warrior as posted every day this week. Preacher from Knoxville joined us today while in town to visit his brother this week in Charlotte and wanted to get his F3 money’s worth. Thank you Preacher for nice send off.
Costanza
YHC arrived a little early to the Outland AO after working on the menu of pain for the morning.
A disclaimer was given and we circled up for some COP. SSH and Imperial Walkers seemed creative.
Afterwards, we partnered up. Size and speed did not matter (according to YHC). However, the size of the bell did. We began with a catch me if you can and began a journey to the Elementary School track. After a brief consult with the extremely caring Hairband there was a break halfway through filled with some Mary to allow the PAX to catch up. Upon arrival to the track, the PAX were presented with a board of pain. The following were the exercises listed:
Louganis
Clean
Deadlift
Snatch
Lunge
Goblet Squat
Row
Swings
Squat
Swings
Shoulder Press
Burpees
The mission for the morning was to do 10 of each exercise. So, 10 Louganis and run a lap. Then 10 Louganis, 10 Cleans and run a lap. Followed by 10 Louganis, 10 Cleans, 10 Deadlifts and run a lap. I think you get the drift. We got through the lunges and partnered back up for our journey back to the cars.
Mole, mole…
Having never Qed at Outland before, I was overly ambitious and drove the PAX pretty hard. I must admit they responded well. I haven’t seen Burnacky all summer. It was good to see him back in action. Edison was a hard working beast. Hairband was the conscience of YHC and helped me adjust appropriately and even challenged my modification of the Clean. Who knew he was part of the form police too?! It was good to see Bullwinkle after he ditched us a few Saturdays ago when he was a “no show Q.” Wonderful to hear the good report about DT’s mom!
Heavy sweating, heavy breathing, poor clock management, and Frack made this morning a wonderful experience. The Floater requires a backblast. It’s just what we do. Here’s the backblast:
Warm up:
Long lap around the backside of the church and circle up
SSH x 20
IW x 20
Potato Pickers x 10
Merkins x 20
Stretch calves IYO / Enough. Mosey to bottom of #keithjonghill
The Thang:
Floater prides itself as being the most complete AO in WUC. We work hard, we laugh, we honor the burpee train, and we DO BACKBLASTS AT ALL COSTS (substitute BB poster took license on all caps portion). Since the AMRAP at Impromptu has apparently gone the way of Cool Runnings, YHC thought it wise to bring it back…and incorporate the Floater’s benevolent mascot, #keithjonghill into the equation. Run to bottom and find lifting rock.
At bottom do 20 curl to presses run up hill and do:
10 merkins
10 plank jacks
20 lbcs
10 plank rotations
10 dry docks
20 squats
1 burpee at the top (do a burpee more for each time you make it to the top of #keithjonghill).
We did this for “25” minutes. Admittedly, YHC can’t tell time and has no concept of how long an activity may take. It is possible we went over the “25” minute mark, but YHC (subti-BB’er) digresses.
All finished, discarded lifting rocks, and met at the stop sign at the top of #keithjonghill
50% to the speed bump at the bottom and then AYG back to the top
Quick mosey to next stop sign. And then again to last. Circle up for some Mary. Done.
Circle Time:
Great work out and great guys. No announcement substi-BB’er can remember other than a chance to serve Longos and help them move this Saturday. Hopefully a 5 Stoner will have more info on that front. Substi-BB’er is really sorry if he omitted any announcements or key items…I tried to remember it.
Also Open Door Bible Study at 5 Stones office this Sunday at 7am.
Substi-BB’er took us out.
7 guys showed up this morning for Sparta – head lamps up, A51 royalty – Joker made a rare appearance, Horse Head made a crack at me and Chin Music telling each other how great of a job we did on the Raintree hills on Tuesday (No, you hang up), disclaimer mumbled, and we were off…
My Thing
Total: 5.34 miles at a 9:19 pace with lots of stops in between.
Moleskine
Chin Music and Joker were at the top of the leader board and everyone else hung on close behind – lots of stops and starts which can put a lot on a man.
Horsehead has been recruiting hard for this site, and for good reason, it’s the balls. Seriously you can make it to Sportsplex, the Greenway, Crestdale Middle, Kevlar/Skunk site, downtown Matthews, etc. and it’s really well lit.
Lots of talking between sets, which Gypsy got pretty angry about. He doesn’t like idle time, but sometimes the girls just need to dish.
I brushed the pavers off last night before making them available to the PAX. I have a bad history with ants and termites in and on my coupons and I want to work on being more considerate.
We’ve been missing Madison who is the site Q, allegedly.
Announcements
Pease pray for Tulip’s daughter who is in the hospital with an infection and pneumonia. She’s been in for a while and hopes are that she won’t need surgery.
SFN in downtown Matthews the weekend of Nov 10th (need volunteers)
10 pax, a mix of familiar and unfamiliar (to YHC) faces, posted for the promised TGU-free beatdown. 1/2 the pax (5, for the division challenged) felt the workout would be insufficient and chose to prerun (Hoover, Voodoo, YHC) or preruck (Dora, Geraldo).
Disclosure – mediocre but hopefully sufficient
The Thang
COP
Leave your bells and recovery walk (#0.0) to the playground, dodging the fencing
Playground Math
Recovery walk back to bells in parking lot. Call for water break.
Snatch-fest
Finisher
Done
COT
Announcements:
Takeout by Hoover
Muscular Moleskinne:
Well, that wasn’t too bad for a light-moderate workout. At least, that’s what YHC had planned to deliver. Something to keep the pax moving and the HR up. #missionaccomplished on the movement & HR; not so sure about the light-moderate. As always, bell selection plays a role in the level of difficulty. (YHC used a 20kg and that seemed about right – moderately hard but doable – nice puddle of sweat)
200 swings, mixed with merkins, was a solid opener. Challenging but a good warmup, with the merkin breathers. Full disclosure, YHC had planned on longer breaks as the exhaustion built and the merkins decreased but forgot when the time came. #cobains Pax did a good job of modifying as needed, dropping reps here and there or switching bells. Nice work.
The playground complex was quickly recognized by Geraldo as a variation of Cindy. Righto. Pax were encouraged to modify as needed, esp with pullups. Again, well done.
Snatches were an aggressive call, but YHC felt the pax up to it. Quick demo by Voodoo for the newer meatheads, and then we were off. Again, good modifications by the pax, mixing in bells or swings as needed, and trying different bell sizes. 100 snatches. Boom.
Thanks, as always for the opportunity to lead. It’s an honor.
QIC: Queen
Pax: Clover, Gummy, HIPPA, Hopper, Tacking Dummy, Harley, Spackler, Puddin Pop, Schmedium, Polo (FNG), Hannibal, Jet Fuel, Marge, Queen, Fry Daddy, Floor Slapper, Semi Gloss, One-Eye
The Pax was 18 strong (actually about 10 strong esteemed gentlemen and about 8 clowns). The weather was great as it never rains at Hydra. Here’s how the work out went:
SSH: 25
IW: 20
Slow Squat: 10
Slow Merkin: 10
Mosey to the short field. Karaokee to one end and back then walking lung half way, run the other half and repeat back.
Mosey to the football field. Start at the goal line and go 60 yards and do 15 hand release merkins. Run back to the goal line and do 14 hand release merkins. Run back 60 yards and do 13. You get the rest, all the way down to 1. Then 25 Freddie Mercury’s.
Over to the playground. Partner up. Partner One runs around the school, partner two does pull-ups and air squats. Combine to do 200 air squats and 50 pull ups. Those that finished their second run and their partner had completed that number did 20 more of each. Then 20 LBC’s.
Mosey to the tree with the eight benches around it. 20 step ups each leg, 15 dips, 10 incline pushups.
Mosey back to the launch area. Russian twist X25, then Protractor.
Moleskin:
It was a lively group. The merkin ladder early on was a beast. That was meant to quiet some of the chatter (mission accomplished). There was a actually some very respectable effort. One-eye crushed the merkin ladder. Semi Gloss and Spackler appeared to complete it with proper form. Spackler has extra energy saved from never doing burpees.
I question how many partner teams truly made it to 50 pull ups. After having us do 120 hand release merkins, I’ll allow for a little slacking, there.
Welcome Polo, a new FNG. We were all disappointed at the end when we couldn’t come up with a better name. That used to be one of the strengths of this group. We’ve gone soft in that area. Seriously, welcome Polo, you did well for first or second time out.
I had the distance down at 2.5.
Announcements: BeerRun this Saturday. See Gummy or check slack for details.