• When:3/27/2020
  • QIC: Horsehead



Stone Cold, Geraldo, Cottonmouth, Cottontail, Slide Rule, Turkey Leg, TR (hacker), Horsehead (VQIC)





  • SSH X 20
  • IW X 20
  • Air Squat X 10
  • Windmill X 10

10 burpees

Set 1 – repeat X 3

  • 2H Swing X 20
  • Merkin X 20
  • Goblet Squat X 10
  • Lawnmower X 10/S

10 Burpees

Set 2 – repeat X 3

  • 2H Swing X 20
  • Full Sit-up X 15
  • Lunge X 8/L
  • Clean & Press X 8/S

10 Burpees

Set 3 – repeat X 3

  • Snatch X 8/S
  • Thruster X 10
  • Flutter Press X 10/L
  • 1H Swing X 10/S

10 Burpees

Swing/Snatch/Merkin ladder up to 10 – time killer / smoker

10 Burpees



If you would have asked me a couple of weeks ago if I would video myself exercising in the driveway so that folks could watch online I would have stepped away quickly without breaking eye contact.  That’s where we ended up this morning though.  And you know what; it was about as weird as I thought it would be.

I set up a Zoom account and did a little testing.  The camera needs to be at the right angle.  iPad in a folding chair did the trick.  You also need a little lighting, but not too much.  I used a shop light but some of the guys were in lighted garages.  Mine has cars in it.

I don’t think these Vorkouts will vork very well with much (or any) running involved, but maybe someone more creative than myself will find a way.  I suppose we could duct tape an iPhone to Turkey Leg and see what happens.  Then we can all post on Strava something like “EZ 16 miler with TL” at the end.  Or maybe we’ll Velcro one to Gloss’s back hair and see what a day in the life of the Trifusenik is like. Workout in the clouds with Hoover or take a ride in the TR Beardcam.  The opportunities are endless.  Don’t even get me started on the Runstopper tightphone experience.

Anyway, here’s what happened this morning.

  • Cottontail joined from his remote fortress with one of his 2.0s. They both had on those Rambo survival knives that you get from the flea market with the fishing line and matches inside of the handle.
  • Cottonmouth appeared to be in some sort of fancy home gym so I’m not sure why he even bothered with us. He kept pressing this thing he called the Lunk Alarm, but it was really just one of those Staples Easy Buttons.  We just pretended we didn’t see him.  It was awkward.
  • Turkey Leg is in a Turkish prison, and is begging for help in Turkey code. We need an interpreter who speaks gobble.  Maybe that lady from the Airplane movie can help.
  • Geraldo was getting after it, or at least moving around on the screen and making lots of breathing noises.
  • I’m not even sure that Stone Cold was working out . I think he was sitting on his couch eating some eggs. He says that he got real sweaty though, which is pretty nasty.  Pray for his wife and family.
  • TR hacked into the workout from his car, while driving, only to capture a screenshot of my nose hairs.  I would have probably done the same thing.

None of the above is probably true, or maybe all of it is.  You guys have read these before, so don’t think a virtual workout changes anything.

Hopefully, we’ll be back at it soon. I can’t wait for some summer workouts.  I’m ready to circle up at RockZero and sprint across the huge parking lot like Fat Axl Rose in jorts when the whistle blows in Paradise City.  Sitting at home all day reading articles about millennials complaining that they can’t get their CBD infused Kombucha is just making things worse.  Also, I need a haircut.   I’m growing a natural mullet that’s more suitable for Redneck Hockey with a frozen Bubbaburger puck than my esteemed profession.  I’m in the market for a used Flowbee, but I’m a little nervous about my giant eyebrows getting caught up in the blades, or possibly stalling out the motor.

I’ve got more problems, but you guys are too important to me to waste your time with them.  Take care of your families and keep each other accountable in these upcoming weeks.  We all need it.



Until we meet again,





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