Welcome to the Jungle

Welcome to the Jungle

When YHC got the last minute invite yesterday to SubstiQ for an injured Leprechaun, I immediately jumped to action, assuming he’d hurt himself valiantly while rescuing some innocent creature from some perilous situation. (Nope, he hurt his knee at Carowinds). #wondedwarrior

Nevertheless, ~17 pax gathered to support YHC in his 7^th VQ. Everyone was questioning the fanny pack that was suspended securely above my junk (and many references were made to an SNL skit featuring the most romantic gift a man could ever give to his loved one…. In a box). Once fully disclaimed, YHC extended a formal “Welcome” to the pax…. Yes, “Welcome……. To the jungle.” (queue jammy pack). Let’s roll…

• Mosey to COP
• 20 IWs
• 20 LSSs
• 20 Mtn Climbers

Jam on… to the turf. Karaoke, buttkickers, circle up mid-field for that lesser-known Schwarzenegger film… The Escalator (routine and the following details stolen from that crusty old curmudgeon we refer to as “Champagne”:

Instructions provided slowly and in triplicate to ensure everyone was on the same page.

5 squats, 5 wide arm merkins, 5 heels to heaven, 5 burpees – run to other end of field (approx 50 yards)

10 squats, 10 wide arm merkins, 10 heels to heaven, 10 burpees – 50 yard run

15 squats, 15 wide arm merkins, 15 heels to heaven, 15 burpees – 50 yard run

20 squats, 20 wide arm merkins, 20 heels to heaven, 20 burpees – 50 yard run

25 squats, 25 wide arm merkins, 25 heels to heaven, 25 burpees – 50 yard run

20 squats, 20 wide arm merkins, 20 heels to heaven, 20 burpees – 50 yard run

15 squats, 15 wide arm merkins, 15 heels to heaven, 15 burpees – 50 yard run

10 squats, 10 wide arm merkins, 10 heels to heaven, 10 burpees – 50 yard run

5 squats, 5 wide arm merkins, 5 heels to heaven, 5 burpees – Finished

Solid basic old school meat and potatoes workout this am.  Escalator is no joke and leaves a mark.  A grind from beginning to end.  For those keeping score, it was 125 of all called exercises and approximately 400 yards of AYG.  And (most) everyone was crushing it and pushing themselves. Trifuseniks were in full effect, finishing at the front of the pax in impressive fashion doing “everything but the burpees.” Then again, Puddin’ pointed out to me when Bobby Brown came on that I was playing their theme song… “My Prerogative.” Touché, amigo.

Mary for the 6

Plank o rama

Elbow plankjacks

Jam on… to the bridge

Partner up and grab a rock per couple…. Catch me if you can around the track with the laggard doing 10 CDDs.

Back to the wall for people’s chair… some 1 leggeds, toes on the wall…. Hold… toe taps

Back to start for some Freddy Mercs, Sweat Angels, and 10 burpees OYO. DONE.

·         Moleskin

• Scratch n Win claims that Appetite for Destruction was the greatest album of all time. (It’s hard to refute)
• Limey asked YHC if I had 3 Red Bulls this morning. (Nope, just a strong dose of FREEDOM when I woke up)
• Pop Tart was seen carrying at least 2 rocks at a time around the track, while Hops was seen empty-handed. #teamworkmakesthedreamwork
• YHC experienced a brief moment of panic while searching for the perfect name for our FNG… a former collegiate swimmer with a nut allergy. Settled on “Epi Pen”, but YHC promptly experienced remorse for a name that is admittedly weak sauce when there were countless Speedo references to be had. YHC consulted with A51 Godfather Hops on the statute of limitations for name changes, and apparently we’re still within the window. While the crowd was clearly pushing for “Banana Hammock”, the name presented far too many syllables. When asked what the FNG used to shave his body, he responded with a “Mach 3” (a solid nickname replacement), but then Hops and I settled on it… the evil step-cousin of the Speedo… the “Slingshot” (yes, the man-kini made famous by Borat, everyone’s favorite Kazakhstanian.) Done. Settled. Immortalized. Welcome, Slingshot.

Announcements:

1. Bring coats
2. Christmas party is before Thanksgiving this year, and we’re inviting a bunch of SOBs
3. Shameless plug for WAMRAP

It was truly a pleasure this morn. Shout-out to Scratch for the solid send-off!