Throw Mama from the Q Jack Train!

The Marshmallow Test

In the late 60’s / early 70’s, a group of Stanford professors began studying delayed gratification in children by using this marshmallow test. In these studies, a child was offered a choice between one small reward provided immediately, or two small rewards if they waited for approximately 15 minutes, during which time the tester left the room and then returned.  In follow-up studies years, even decades, later, the researchers found that children who were able to wait longer for the double reward tended to have better life outcomes, as measured by SAT scores, educational attainment, body mass index , and other life measures.

I like tests. I wanted to see if I could replicate this test in a workout.

Premoleskine
The last several workouts I’ve Q’ed, I saw a strange look in Pax’ eyes. Finally, BottleCap just opened up and said, “Eh, I was expecting some music, too.” Hmm. I thought I had outgrown that phase. Thought it was too childish for F3. OK, I’ll see what I can do.

Disclaimery before Tomfoolery
“Marshmallow World” Dean Martin
THE Grease Monkey shows early. As the saying goes, the early Monkey gets the Respect shirt. An outstanding man, who I wish could/would post more than once a week. F3 would be better with more Grease. He’s so excited with the shirt, he swaps right there. Looks good on him.

As I try not to watch another man undress, a third guy walks up. “Is this the place for the F3?” I smell an FNG!  Gabe was told about F3 from a friend in Raleigh. He doesn’t know the dude’s F3 name. Just found us on the site and came (T-claps to Wingman for keeping the electrons in line). I try to give a pre-disclaimer, “Listen, I’m leading the workout today. This is…different…from most other workouts. Don’t judge whether to come back by what you see today.”  Seems unfazed by this warning.

Song’s over but it’s only 0528. That’s because there’s a disclaimer PLUS the test structure. Those wishing to sue me, the school, or F3 were directed to watch Petey the Don’t Sue People Panda video before taking legal action.
Because I have only bad ideas set to worse music, I advised that their best choice was to take one of my fist-sized marshmallows and leave right now. No one took me up on it.
OK, if you can wait 45 minutes, you can have *2* fist-sized marshmallows when we get back. Mild interest / bemusement. Everyone is going to have to take a turn lugging around the marshmallow sandbag – a Tupperware container filled with these marshmallows. WAY more clumsy, awkward, and silly than heavy. But they bought into it. You people are idiots.

The Warm Up
“Love Runs Out” One Republic
Mosey to the front of the HS.
I don’t like to Q, but the Qdrenalin rush is intoxicating. All the soreness in my legs for the last few weeks is GONE. Why can’t I feel this good during the other workouts? Circle up for the crowd pleaser…

“Shout” Isley Brothers
Burpees on chorus
‘I still remember’ = Supermans
‘I want you to know’= Plank Jacks
‘Now wait a minute’ = Peter Parkers
‘Little bit softer now’ = Squats
‘Little bit louder now’ = Jump Squats
‘Hey Hey Hey Hey’ = Mary Catherines
‘Jump up and shout it now’ = Tuck Jumps
Transporter can sing while doing burpees. Don’t let him do his burpees any other way from now on.

The Thang
“The Bear Necessities” Disney
“I am a Gummy Bear” Gummibar
“I Wanna Be Your Teddy Bear”
Build a Bear Workshop – bear crawl up the ramp; rail walk back down; run to the other portico and bear slalom around the 3 silver columns. Do each station 3x.
Test – Does doing a hard thing while listening to bad music make the thing harder or easier? I think the Pax say easier. You can’t pay full attention to the physical pain, so there is perceived less pain.
Life Lesson: When something sucks, but still needs to get done, distract yourself just enough to keep doing the sucky thing. It’ll suck less.
Shop Dawg is singing Bear Necessities every time we cross paths.
A workout built for Doughboy, but all I remember hearing is Shake N Bake declaring his hatred for the Gummy Bear song.
While I’m on my last round, Doc & Transporter, of course, have finished first. I ask for side step ups on the benches. There are at least 5 benches around, but they choose the same bench, in sync, eyes locked on each other. Maybe these songs are aphrodisiacs?

“Band on the Run” Foo Fighters
Mosey to the end of the yellow buses.
Cheddar weave
This wasn’t in the plan. But when I realized there was no school, and my all-time favorite routine in my all-time favorite location is available, and it’s not summer, I gotta grab that cheddar flavored marshmallow.
Whoever finishes first needs to start labeling the rest of the Pax 1, 2, 1, 2. The second finisher leads the group in Heels to Heaven until the 6 come in. That’d be Doc & Transporter.

Mosey back down the sidewalk, about to the halfway mark of the buses.

“Apache – Jump On It” Sugar Hill Gang
There are horseshoes painted every few feet. 1 burpee per horseshoe. The trick, I said, is to NOT walk from 1 horseshoe to the next. I didn’t tell them to run, just to not walk. I was expecting things like bear crawling or jumping or something creative to get them from one horseshoe to the next. Nope, most everyone chose to run / jog / not walk. Simple. Effective.
Test – In the Stanford experiments, those kids who could not delay gratification were offered insight from the kids who could delay gratification. With the new techniques, the kids who initially failed now performed nearly as well as the other group. And the effects lasted for several months.
Life Lesson: Sometimes we only need a gentle reminder that a temptation / easy path is ahead. By making it a conscious pre-choice (instead of an unconscious reflexive choice), we stand a much better chance of overcoming the temptation.
As I came up for one of my burpees, I saw Jingles dance between 2 shoes that just stopped time. It was a move I only thought possible on the skating rink. Can’t describe it, other than to say I felt like I was peeking into a glade full of unicorns at sunrise. Magical.

Mosey around the corner to the tennis courts.
2 long benches the width of the tennis courts. The 1’s go to the left bench; 2’s to the right. Hop over from one side to the other along the entire length. Then go around to the other side of the court where you can find a single long bench. Merge the two lines into one and continue traversing. Total of 2 full laps. Rosalitas while we pick up the 6. Thanks to Abacus for getting my sound supplies. It’s the little things to help the Q with his timing. Shop Dawg complains that this exercise has no music. Ahhh, my friend, that’s to help you appreciate the music more when we get to the next station!

“Born to Run” Frankie Goes to Hollywood
Mosey to the wall. If you get there before me, ping pong back for the 6.
Didn’t know Goodfella wasn’t going to be here until after the playlist had been created. This one was for him. He feels this song is ear-blasphemy. It should only be sung by Springsteen. No remakes. No covers. Oh, he would have stayed right next to me just to tell me how wrong this is. T’would have been glorious.
Test – When it’s 1,000% humidity, on a longish run, from a mostly tough workout, will you go back for the 6? Sadly, not today. I was in the middle part of the group here. I failed, too. Using the excuse that I had to prep for when to start the next round.
Life Lesson: At a loss here. No one’s perfect, I guess? Aim to do better next time?

“Off the Wall” Michael Jackson
Series of wall-based exercises during the song. Air presses / jabs; donkey kicks; 6 count wall walking merkin; Mike Tysons; Bobby Hurleys.
I’ve been trying to give less complicated verbal instructions by sometimes walking the Pax through a “sampler platter” of what the next station really involves. I thought this was one of those times. So we only did about 5 reps of the Mike Tysons & the Wall Merkins pre-song, just to make sure we were straight on terminology. This ended up taking way longer than it should have, and it ate into what was coming up next.
And I struggled on this one. This one’s coming off the playlist for something better. And it has nothing to do with Das Boot & Doc swaying to the music when we were doing air presses. But I still can’t unsee that.
Test – When you’re in the middle of something sucking, what’s your reaction?  Among those I saw were: determination to finish; stopping & looking to see if the Q was still going; having fun while continuing.
Life Lesson: Like most things, there is no right answer. A deeper question may be, are you satisfied with your reaction? By looking around, you may realize you convinced yourself there was only one reaction, which was yours. By seeing another reaction from someone you respect, you realize there is a choice to be made, even if you didn’t realize a choice was available at all.

“Get Up” Van Halen
Mosey to the sidewalk between the cafeteria & the track. American Hammers while everyone gets in. Along the way, Sidewalky McShortCut, assuming to be the only one on campus, decides to see how fast they can speed down the sidewalk in a Corolla. “Car up!” never quite had that trill of urgency before. We all slide to the right, Corolla slides to the left, looking dangerously close to rolling over, but never slowing down. I’m grateful this happened in full daylight; pretty scared how this could have fared during the winter months. May need a mid-workout disclaimer: “Watch out for the car driving on the sidewalk, but they are not included in our litigation exclusion list.”

“2 Legit 2 Quit”M.C. Hammer
All the other stuff was leading up to this. Now, I can see the Cheddar Weave and the Sampler Platter took up too much time to fit this piece in its entirety. So, I won’t give away the whole structure; that will have to wait for another time.
Flutters to Failure – using PERFECT FORM (legs straight, toes pointed [as if you were actually swimming]), continue fluttering until you either pause, legs hit the ground, etc. Once done, run to the first light pole along the track and back. You can point out bad form in others.
Test – When given the chance to last longer than your competitors by cheating on your own, what will you do? First of all, many of you need to talk to your doctors about proprioception deficit. Most of you had knees bent, toes bent – it was embarrassing to see that in daylight.  Being next to Transporter & Doc, I was shocked at the amount of cheating they did to try to outlast each other.  I weep for our region.
Life Lesson: The male ego is a fragile thing. Those who have done well in a certain area can be tempted to cheat to maintain the illusion of mastery. The opposite is also true. Those who have not done well in a certain area can be tempted to give up too early to reinforce their mindset of amateurism. Those in the middle, ironically, can be the ones most likely to realistically assess their own abilities. So being in the middle can bring a lens of clarity that others may lack, depending on where they are viewing the same circumstances.

Mosey back to start. Arrive 1 minute late.

As people circle up for COT, I pass around the hand sanitizer. Why people are freaked out about that, I can’t figure out. If you’d rather eat your marshmallows with filthy hands, that’s on you, but hasn’t your Mom ever taught you about cross-contamination? It’s been an eye opening Q, folks. Behind the sanitizer, the marshmallows get passed around. Doc mentions that if one of them has a different flavor, that is probably his when he had a turn carrying the tub. Several are taking a hard pass on the marshmallows. Do you think this is another test? Yeah, I could make a case for it, but I won’t. I was expecting most Pax to do Name-a-Rama with the giant marshmallows halfway down their gullets à la Chubby Bunny. We appear to be too sophisticated for such adolescence. I cry inside again.

Name the FNG – Gabe works in lighting, but Transporter remarked at how well he did on the rail walk during Build a Bear. Somehow that got shifted into Pole Dancer. I love the name; just wish I had a better story for the guy.

Let’s bring it in.

CORPORATE AUDIT
Assuming Doc was still upset at not winning Flutters to Failure with bad form, he cites Dromedary with bad COT form. Says that we should be in more Ball of Man formation instead of a circle. In the absence of any current or former Dromedary Site Q’s to question the policy change, the Pax comply into a standing BoM.

I am simultaneously an obsessively compulsive, contrarian, and secessionist Sandlapper.  So when this affront to our geometric way of life occurred, I went off the rails. I invoked the clause that we don’t have to close up shop with a prayer. Because we are not a Christian organization, no one is obligated to pray us out. So I used the time instead to tell ’em about my

MOLESKINE
Gave the Pax the details of the Marshmallow test. In life, we are always tempted to take the quick 1 marshmallow reward. Getting to the 2nd marshmallow always takes time, effort, and being uncomfortable while doing it. But I notice the 2nd marshmallow isn’t just twice as good as the first; it’s a whole different level and type of reward. For example:
+ setting the phone down to engage with your family
+ stopping the porn to have a meaningful relationship with your wife
+ not goofing off at work to do what you’re paid to do

To summarize:

• There are more marshmallow tests you experience than you may realize. Become aware.
• When you fail the test, acknowledge and forgive yourself. Know another test will be coming soon.
• Failures are rarely the result of character flaws. Given the right conditions, anyone is capable of anything.  And you can mold your conditions.
• Look to others who pass similar tests that you fail. What did they do differently?
• Roles will reverse. You will be able to share your successes. Be humble and kind in the sharing.

Announcements:

Pool Party to raise funds for #Sandbox
Friday, June 8, 7:30 – 10:00 PM
Lawson Pool 2306 Lawson Dr, Waxhaw, NC 28173
$40 / family (payable on site or in advance at https://www.paypal.me/f3sob)
https://bit.do/f3sandbox to RSVP (so they can get a count of pizza and beer)

Sanctuary begins a new book about the parables of Jesus
Monday nights – Brooklyn Pizza in Wesley Chapel