The.Burpee.Train

The.Burpee.Train

I had a goal…cover 3.5 miles while doing 35 reps of a bunch of different exercises and seeing the sights of DT Waxhaw. Seemed like a good way to start my birthday and honor the fact that I’m not of legal age to run for President. But then…that damn train. Getting Q-jacked by Deadwood, now that expected from time to time, but a freaking train? Come on! And not just any train, apparently this train was going for consecutive longest and slowest records. brutal to say the least. We made the most of it and got in between 25.-3 miles in with a decent beating mixed in there. Here’s how it went down:

Warm-up:

  • Mosey (the long way) to Dreamchaser’s
  • IC SSH x 35
  • The.Burpee.Train (10 minutes of Burpees as a slow a$$ train rolls by)
  • I think we’re warm now….

The THANG:

  • 1/3 mile jog up Providence to shake off those burpees
  • Back down Providence to Dreamchasers doing 7 jump squats at each intersection (total 35..surprise)
  • Mosey to the top of Kim Jong Hill / Keith Jong Hill…which is it?
  • At the top – Mike Tyson x5 – Mosey to bottom – Tyson x5 – Sprint to the top. Repeat 3x
  • Mosey to the circle at the top of the Kid’s Park
  • Circle up for some 7&7’s
    • Bear crawl IC x7
    • Dry Docks IC x7
    • Repeat x5
  • Mosey around to the lot in front of the cupcake queen (yes that’s the only business in that plaza I can remember)
  • Ab circuit
    • Leg Lifts – 35 sec
    • LBC 35 sec
    • Plank 35 sec
    • recover 35 sec
    • repeat x 2
  • Mosey to start – plank for time

Moleskin:

That burpee train sucked. It may have been the longest 10 minutes of my life, and I don’t think I was alone in that. The rest of the workout was filled with under the breath comments about how gassed people were after it, or that things wouldn’t have been so hard if it weren’t for that train. If you haven’t experienced it for your self, consider yourself lucky…but also you haven’t really lived!

In all seriousness though, it was really amazing to get to lead this workout this morning. When Shake first invited my out last August I never knew what this group would mean to me. Thanks to everyone that came out this morning and pushed through all of my terrible ideas. It was an awesome way to start the day.

Announcements:

  • Easy Button on Q tomorrow for Impromptu

4th and final installment of this AMRAP

13 Pax braved what is hoped to be the final frost of the spring. It may not be the last but it is the last of this AMRAP, that’s right folks we are changing the course for May. As 5:30 rolled around DICCS was given and we were off to the rock pile.

The THANG:

To refresh the “old” AMRAP course, consisted of 7 stations and timed at 30 minutes. The stations looked like this:

Station 1 – Derkins x (20)

Station 2 – Donkey Kicks x (20)

Station 3 – Jump Squats x (20)

Station 4 – Tricep Extensions x (20)

Station 5 – Bicep Curls x (20)

Station 6 – Overhead Press x (20)

Station 7 – +(1) Burpee per Lap Completed

The RESULTS

The Pax worked hard and we had a personal best by the one and only Grease Monkey. There was a lot of groaning going on this time and the rocks were unusually large. One Star shot out of the gate like a cannon trying to keep up with the 2.0. A few Pax went backwards on the first lap to hit the rocks first (smart thinking fellas), then flipped as the Pax strung out. YHC may or may not have bit the dust running up the hill. It was dark if no one witnessed did it happen?

Here are the results:

The Grease Monkey – 5 Laps

Garbage Plate – 6.3

Boitano – 5

Johnny Utah – 5.3

Rockwell – 5

Legalized – 4.6

Pocahontas – 6.3

Soft Pretzel 5.1

Das Boot – 5.3

Lazy Boy – 6

One Star – 6.2

Fiji – 5.5

Dana – 6

Made it back with a few minutes to spare for some of the Pax favorite exercises till time was called.

Announcements:

Fiji has his VQ this Saturday at Da Vinci Saturday

YHC took us out.

Looks like you’ve got a problem, dad.

In planning today’s Chiseled activities, YHC decided that bringing the dusty pull-up tower out of my basement would help accomplish the goal of 2 exercises per muscle group for a 10 station circuit. I enlisted the help of my 7 year old to help me shoe horn the beast into the family truckster. As we approached the van, it became quite obvious to both of us that this would be no easy task. “Looks like you’ve got a problem, dad.” – parting words as my first born abandoned the effort. After a little geometry and a lot of bungee cords, I was good to go.

5:30am – DiCCS given (sort of) followed by warm-up – 20 SSH, Stretching, 20 Merkins, 20 LBCs, 20 Merkins.

The Thang

Mosey to entrance and back behind Mt. Chiseled. Circuit consisted of:

  • Dumbell Curls
  • Merkins (feet raised slightly on cinder blocks)
  • Goblet Squat w/bucket
  • Standing Military Press (~45lb bar)
  • Dips
  • Pull-ups
  • Diamond Merkins
  • Upright Row w/bucket
  • Tricep Extension w/25 or 35lb plate
  • Lunge walk w/45lb plate

Execute as many reps at each station for 60 seconds. 15 seconds to rest/move on to next station. After 5 stations, mosey around Mt. Chiseled. 4 total rounds – 20 stations executed.

Mosey back to the flag for Burpee Circle/Circle Burp and some LBC’s. Time.

Moleskin: Majority of PAX were still in pain from yesterday’s Jack Webb session w/Doughboy. General agreement that 60 seconds was a tad long for each station and 15 seconds in between, maybe not enough.

Thanks to Rudy for taking us out.

Announcements – Wedding Singer on birthday Q for Floater tomorrow.

He’s Got the Jack

Fifteen Pax showed up with the thoughts of rain and the hopes of shelter. As usual, No shelter is granted in a Doughboy workout. Fortunately, the rain held off for the workout and the only soaking the PAX received was from the continuous callout of Jack Web.

Let’s Mosey: We went for an easy mosey to the Target parking lot via the back side of Petsmart. The PAX circled up for 20 Side Straddle Hops, 10 Windmills, 20 Mount Climbers, and 20 Parker Peters. Let’s mosey into the neighborhood to the bottom cul de sac. The call out was for the traditional Jack Web with 10 Merkins and 40 shoulder presses. Zinfandel asked if we were really starting the workout with Jack Web until he realized the entire workout was Jack Web. The PAX moseyed to the top of the hill for a new version of Jack. The exercise consisted of up to 10 squats with up to 40 in and outs which felt very similar to a deconstructed Burpee to kill the legs. The PAX got a 10 count before moseying to the BBT bank for Lieutenant Dan Web work out. This consisted of 10 squats and up to 40 lunges. To be honest, it hurt to run the to next Jack station at the Target parking lot. The callout was our friend Bear Web which consisted of up to 10 dry docks and 40 paces of bear crawl. I am guessing there was some scat in places after this one or at least the feeling of it. Finally, we moseyed back to the start for a finishing session of Ab-Web. This consisted of up to 10 heals to heaven and 40 LBC’s. The PAX and I were all done.

COT: The PAX made it through a tough workout like a champ. I am sitting here sore from my own workout and know it wont be fun in the morning. Zinfandel and the group mentioned doing a Spartan race in July. We were joined by a Memphis F3 member, Halpurt, who is in town for work. Swimmers headlocked Tyler Hahn to the group from Kansas. Tyler made it off easy with the nickname Toto. Welcome to the group.

Knish on Q at Chiseled

Intervals TBD

Walked outside to some cooler than expected temps which prompted a quick scramble for an additional layer and a two wheel arrival at latin. Just in time so away we went. Alf inquired if I had done a drive through of the route to ensure there were several port a jons on the way… have no fear I brought dude wipes just in case.

Warmupish mosey to the original Latin fasttwitch entrance for quick cop to loosen up the hip flexors – Iwx20 Peter Parker x10 Parker Peter x10 Continue Running toward Raintree stop at Whitethorn for first of two Half Mile errr Three quarter mile Interval down Whitethorn 5K Pace – Recover back up. Second Interval was slightly shorter but still at 5K Pace. Recovery Pace to bottom of Four Mile Creek – Run Hill to Raintree x 2 at 2 mile Race pace Head left on Raintree to bottom of hill near bridge Interval 3 – from RT base to wind bluff x2 10k pace (this one was especially brutal) Interval 4 – bottom windbluff to shallow wood x1- 2 mile race pace Recovery pace down shallowwood Interval 5 Middle shallowood to providence x 1 About 6 minutes to get back…Final Interval would be Providence Hill suck at nearly AYG pace or until the wheels fall off. Back to launch by 6:19 as the shovel flag was being loaded in the truck. All in – just under 7 miles at various paces, various distances, and various grade. Tried to keep the legs, lungs and brain guessing.

No Announcements – Astro Took us out in style – thanks brother!

Moleskin – Pretty much went down as expected aside from taking the guys into overtime… apologies gents. Hope everyone got what they were wanting out of this morning. I was beat, just attempting to keep Purell in sight. The Fasttwitch regulars were getting after it very businesslike without any complaints. No observed bathroom breaks and the dudewipe made it home unopened. Enjoyed catching up with everyone during the recovery runs and it looked like everyone was crushing the intervals!

Q*bert returns to Hawks Nest as did Swiper

11 pax mustered for another Tuesday downpainment at Hawks Nest. The shovel flag had been planted, and after a subpar disclaimer, we launched.

Ye Olde Moleskine & Thang:

Started with an immediate pattern interrupt by heading toward the side of campus where we never go anymore….partly due to construction, partly due to habit, and partly due to the pax love of the turf fields. We circled up in a non-descript parking lot that was plenty big for the 11 of us but not big enough to allow for adequate dissipation of noxious fumes emanating from some pax who will not be singled out. Actually, I would totally single them out but not sure who perpetrated the acts.

COP:

15 Slow Squats (don’t ever do squats quickly)

15 H-R Merkins (don’t ever do non-H-R merkins)

15 Slow Flutters

No IW’s and darn sure no SSH’s.

Partner up and run the crazy hilly lot near one of the older buildings. P1 runs while P2 does called exercise: Jump Squat, Wide Arm Merkin, LBC. Flapjacking, of course.

We then moseyed over to the Horne Fine Arts Building (confirmed with Ductwork after the workout that he has absolutely nothing to do with the building…but wishes he did).

3 sets of 13 incline merkins and 13 double-squat step-ups. Ickey worked in some jump up’s as well. T-claps. Gloss was complaining about the height of the wall…Sprockets was not.

We then made our way over to Q*bert for some more step-ups and more double-squats. Then we did it again but with a backwards step-up…Gloss was holding on to the hand rail.

Mosey over to the rocks near the bridge. Grab a lifting rock. On the bridge we did 3 sets of 13 thrusters, some People’s Chair with overhead press (should have incorporated the rock on that, will do better next time). Also introduced Swiper to the Walthar N’Djaiye – unsavory especially if, for instance, you have shoulder tendinitis.

We then ran to the aforementioned plush turf lacrosse?/field hockey? field for some lunge walks, broad jump burpees, backward lunge walks, H-R merkins and one AYG 70’ish yard run – Ickey & Sprockets way out front…no surprise there.

Run back to the launch lot for 4 MoM which included 13 reps of: Makhtar N’Djaiye, High Flutter, Knee Up (Q failed after 11.5 reps here…I’ll do better next time, just coming off IR….#lameexcuse).

Finished with 13 burpees. You’re welcome, Mermaid.

Good work in the gloom this morning, fellas. The Fletch-Q’d FT pax were very late so no joint COT. I’d already up-planted the SF before they arrived. #cobains

Next week – Purple Haze will cross over the line and visit the friendly confines of the Nest as our Q. Don’t miss it. Tell your friends.

Lots of mumblechatter with the likes of Puddin’, Swiper, Gloss – sound off if anything worth mentioning…which of course there is. Funniest lines of the morning were in COP – something about proclivity from One Eye. And can’t remember for the life of me, but Puddin’ had me almost falling out of cadence on some comment.

Most importantly, please pray for Red Rocks. He is in a fight for his life, men. Approach the throne of grace with great boldness on his behalf. God wants to hear from you, and He’s always listening.

Always a pleasure to Q…Gloss said he was proud of me.


Stretching under the Antler Lights

On another great Wednesday morning six PAX came down to the scout hut and stretched it out. Here’s how it went:

Devotion

Corpse Pose StartQ

Move From Corpse into Child’s Pose

TableTop for Cat Cow (5 Breaths)

Left Side Right Side

Plank

Left Arm High

Right Arm High

Six Inches- 10 Seconds

One Sun Salutation together

Then- Do Sun Salutation non stop for two minutes (Goal is to get warmed up-speed up even if that is needed)

Lizard- 45 Seconds Right

Hamstrings(Straighten out Leg) 45 Seconds

Lizard Quad- 45 Seconds

Right Side

Back to Mountain

Sun Salutation- Meet in Downward Dog

Right leg to the sky and Hold Three legged dog

Lizard flow- Left leg then right leg

One Sun Salutation- OYO

Repeat flow on other side

Sun Salutation Meet in downward Dog

Pigeon- Left Side then Right  side 1 minute at least on each side

 Depending on time- Tree for balance

 Then on your Six

 ButterFly

Reach for Toes- right leg then left leg then both

Pretzel stretch

Happy Baby

Corpse Pose

DONE

MoleSkine

Was a good group of the veterans today- which was great since I hadn’t been to Gumby about two months- they made the transition back easy.

Mumble chatter was light- Lois had some words about me traveling to Australia, but nothing crazy.

We did have all the lights on but decided to switch up the mood- hence stretching under the antler lights.

Enjoyed the opportunity to lead- appreciate you guys!

SOB Convergence/FNG Day

50 pax converged upon Da Vinci. With dozens of pax expected to post, most cars were parked in the Petsmart/Best Buy lot. Which is where we mosey for a quick disclaimer/warm up.

10 SSH

10 IW

Split up pax by their birthdays Jan-June goes with Wild Turkey. July-Dec goes with Mighty Mite. This is probably they way we should split large groups up in the future. It was quick and worked really well at breaking up a large group fairly evenly.

WT Q

Q1Since Mighty Mite didn’t plan much of a run, I figure I could add some mileage to the workout. My plan was to run from launch at Best Buy and head up Blakeney-Heath Rd to Playground for some traditional bootcamp exercises. What really happened was we ended up taking way to long to get up the hill and barely enough time for a bear crawl in the grass. We managed to squeeze in some ‘mericans, mountain climbers, shoulder taps and brief wall workout. Adding to the mayhem was a spill by Bucky who was tripped up by a recently plowed road sign. I didn’t hear too much complaining, but I wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice.

Q2From the Fountains of Suburban Soft Rock we went under the archway for a series of partner stair climbs. This was a much better experience format. The sets included partner-slap ‘mericans, sit-ups and burpees, 10, 20, 30, respectively. A bear crawl catch me if you can and finally a cumulative 200 squat circuit. The stairs helped air out the pax and keep everyone relatively together.
Do you want any commentary? Jokes? I’m not sure if you are doing a more rah-rah – go F3 or a more “who can believe Fire Hazard has friends” route?Seriously, that was a successful morning! Big crowd, lots of fun and good workout. Thanks for organizing!

MM Q

Mosey to Blakeney Playground for a Partner Murph. Pax one runs to fountain and back while Pax two performs exercises to get to the total(100 Pull Ups, 200 merkins, 300 squats). Both groups finished a little early, so the time was filled with mary and planking for the entirety of the Rocky Theme(more on that later). As 0730 approached, all pax returned to the Chick Fil A and ran out the clock with some burpees.

People always say that you love all of your children equally. But I definitely liked the first group of pax that completed the murph more than the second because they were much more complimentary of my 80s montage playlist. If I wasn’t already punishing the 2nd group with a murph, I would have punished them more. Billygoat and Escobar were particularly vociferous, claiming they would rather run than be motivated to improve by the great lineup of songs….which was

Hearts on Fire: Rocky IV
You’re the Best: Karate Kid
Be a Man: Mulan
Push it to the Limit: Scarface
Eye of the Tiger: Rocky III
Dangerzone: Top Gun
Gonna Fly Now: Rocky

For some reason, I had a hard time hearing War Eagle’s name and he had to repeat it several times. Weird.

After COT, we welcomed 4 new FNGs, which is more than we’ve had in a while(more on that later). Stormy(brought out by Haggis), Brexit, Bad Call(brought out by Fire Hazard), and Escort(Boitano). Great job EH-ing these new guys. Hopefully we’ll see them out in the gloom.

After the main even was completed, the pax entered the Chick Fil A for breakfast. I didn’t do an official count but it seemed like pretty much every pax that posted enjoyed some chicken(which is better than bagels) at CFA after the workout, it was PAXED in there. Additionally, several other pax who were nursing injuries were on hand to catch up with their friends. Because we blitzed the CFA, the line to order food was long, so I spent some time talking to the pax at all the tables, and that was probably my favorite part of the morning. I was part of several different conversations that broached a variety of topics; getting together to watch some March Madness later in the day, coaching kid’s sports, helping eachother with yard work, preparing for an upcoming race, getting excited about a neighborhood garage band concert that afternoon, planning an outing to a baseball game, or just catching up with an old friend. These conversations reinforced that F3 is having an impact with everyone in attendance. This is more than just a “workout cult” as a lot of people jokingly refer to it. The gloom has forged great friendships that have transcended the couple of hours we spend together in the morning. It would be great if we could have an FNG day where we bring out 20+ FNGs(and we should always keep trying for that) but for pax that have been in the gloom for several years, a good deal of their best male friends are already part of F3 Nation.

We must be swift as the coursing river
With all the force of a great typhoon
With all the strength of a raging fire
Mysterious as the dark side of the moon

MM

No Phonecalls in BOM Please

Summary:

  • 28 Metro51ers unboxed their winter clothes one last time, maybe, for a chilly edition of DMZ. YHC tried to bring the hot sauce, to keep us warmed up, and we covered 3 miles forward, sideways, and backwards.

The Thang:

  • 0530… well, 0516 and wheels up, workout time! Mosey through CaC lot w/ some hip loosening side shuffles to the end of the lot. SSH, I/W, and set #1 of up/down cadence Merkins (5 reg / 5 wide / 5 diamond / 5 offset Right / 5 offset Left / 5 Right leg high / 5 Left leg high). 35 total.
  • Run W on Colony to Giverny cul-de-sac. Low slow-squat waiting for the 6. Backwards run .27miles to the end of the cul-de-sac… mostly uphill. Set #2 of up/down cadence Merkins (4 reg / 4 wide / 3 diamond / 4 offset Right / 4 offset Left / 4 Right leg high / 4 Left leg high). 28 total.
  • Run back up Colony hill to Castellaine Dr cul-de-sac. AYG sprint from bottom to top, 5 reverse burpees, mosey to bottom. Set #3 of up/down cadence Merkins (3 reg / 3 wide / 3 diamond / 3 offset Right / 3 offset Left / 3 Right leg high / 3 Left leg high). 21 total…. 3X AYG total. Finish merkin sets #4 (14) and #5 (7).
  • Heat to CaC stopping for walking lunges through the walkway between the veterans and millenials sanctuaries. Core work in the lot: #1 min WW2 situps, 1 min 6inch LBC’s, 1min alternating ankle reaches (all facing uphill). Flip it around, #1 min WW2 situps, 1 min 6inch LBC’s
  • Mosey to the bottom of the lot, bad April Fools joke about calling frontal-partner carries. Instead, AYG to the launch. Finito!

Nekkid Moleskine:

YHC hasn’t done a bootcamp in 31 days… if you even consider Black Widow a workout #shotsfired . Check Strava, like Shakira’s hips… it don’t lie. You have to go back to Jan 28th to the last time YHC led a workout, and that was in Peru… where none of the PAX were over 5feet tall. Does that even count? ” Uno, dos, tres!” Nevermind…. Been mostly 2nd and 3rd F, with a lot of 4th F lately (fartsack) for me, so it was nice to be forced out of bed and called upon to lead a real workout. Was trying not to puke as the Q, or fake-dry heave like Ice9, so pretty focused for me this morning. Lots of big guys, fast guys, and guys YHC hasn’t seen in a while which was a treat. It was nice to see I.N.T. crushing the workout instead of waiting for his pops to leave the house, and play Fortnite when noone was watching. Gisele and YHC left our cheer pom-poms at home after driving all the way to Hickory yesterday to watch 2.0 gymnastics competition. Thankfully we got to sit together, give high-fives after their floor routines, and even shared a bag of Rap Snacks Chips… they taste sooo good. The Reverend Agony was not there. smh. That’s a wrap… unemploy-retirement is hard work and YHC can’t figure out if its nap-time or worktime. Thanks Aquafresh for the invite and everyone for coming and giving your all.

Announcements / SPEED FOR NEED Request:

  • Chelms said some announcement about mentoring, but YHC wasn’t paying attention couldn’t hear. Best part is there is a link to it >>> http://f3metro.com/2019/03/29/curly-for-president-lets-start-w-leading-revolution/
  • As YHC mentioned in COT, SPEED FOR NEED needs your yelp in 2019. Will you commit to coming help push a Track Commander or be run support in just 1 race this season? We’ll be at almost 40 races in the Carolinas and need your help. It’s rewarding and easy service. Just sign up for a race, and help push a rider to the finish line. Do it yourself, do it with the whole family, even sign up for a walking race and ruck it. Next great Metro/A51 opportunity is the 4/27 Sarcoma Stomp 5K. Thanks in advance fellas.

Coupon Code: F3SFN Team: SPEED FOR NEED

Registration Site: https://runsignup.com/Race/NC/Charlotte/TheSarcomaStomp?remMeAttempt=

SPEED FOR NEED Race Calendar: https://speedforneed.org/calendar/

#WHOPUSHESWHO

JRR Tolkien ~ Fightin’ Mongol ~ El Chino Guapo

‘Round the Horn

My 2nd led Q ever, so I resume the authority of Admiral Ackbar, but finished planning the Q during the Duke vs Mich St game. The workout reflected my frustration with this loss (ugh, but that’s how it goes with too many close games), but this was a great way to kill stress! 5 gentlemen joined for the Q as we began.

Warmup:
Lap from Brooklyn Pizza to behind Target which included grass running (and it was rather dark, some suspected I was out to take their lunch money. Maybe a Sith would, but I’m Admiral Ackbar! I’m one of the good guys), and to warm up in the Target parking lot.
30 Side Straddle Hops
15 Imperial Walkers (it’s the only Star Wars theme today)
10 Merkins
10 Mountain Climbers
Calf Stretches

The Thang:
‘Round the Horn is pretty simple. Starting at Hickory Tavern, you run to the roundabout, turn left to run in front of Target, turn left again at the corner to run in front of PetSmart, turn left again at the corner to return to Hickory Tavern where the dubbed “Evil Easel” awaited (I love my kid’s easel). There you would do the asked exercise, and ‘Round the Horn again. Return, do the first exercise again and add the 2nd, ‘Round the Horn, and then do 1, 2, and 3, rinse and repeat while jamming to my kids’ favorite music. Here is the list.
10 Burpees
15 Merkins
20 Step Ups
40 LBCs
50 Squats
25 Mike Tysons
A couple of gentlemen finished the entire set (Smokey and Swimmers I think), while more modified at the end (myself among them).

The Moleskine
– I like the name Evil Easel. I may give it a break next time, but it has a nice ring to it.
– Props to Smokey & Swimmers leading the way ‘Round the Horn.
– Chastain get some great modifications toward the end which helped the rest of us who were running out of gas and time.
– Great work Loafer, you brought it today!
– Shop Dawg, you da man. Excellent work today!
– I have no clue how long ‘Round the Horn is each lap, just that it’s uncomfortably uphill on that corner of the Target parking lot.
– My kids enjoy Queen, Bob Seger, Michael Jackson, and of course Toto’s Africa! Good workout music!
– Props to Shop Dawg for leading Q School afterward, thank you sir.

Announcements:
Bible Study Tonight at Brooklyn Pizza, 7:30pm.
May the Force be with you!