Four Score and Seven Burpees Ago….. A Very Lincoln Beatdown
2-12-20
Four Score and Seven Burpees Ago…..
Vitals:
Launch Conditions: 55-ish degrees. Damp, but free from precipitation.
Pax: Snowflake, Prohibition, Fallout, Mr. Magoo, Snuka, Mermaid, Lorax, Brilleaux, Runstopper, Point Break, HIPAA
Mileage: 1.76 miles
Difficulty: Teddy.
Disclaimer: Given and legally accurate. Fun Fact: Abraham Lincoln practiced law without a degree. He only had 18 months of formal schooling.
The Workout:
Mosey over to some open parking lot space.
Vigorous Warmup.
SSH x 20 (in cadence and fast-paced)
Merkins
Hillbilies
Low, Slow Good Mornings (LSGMs)
Mountain Climbers
Low, Slow Squats
Saunter on over to the Ceremonial Inclined AstroTurf Semi-Circle.
Fun Fact: Lincoln is enshrined in the Wrestling Hall of Fame.
Partner 1 Bear Crawls all the way around the semi-circle. Partner 2 does Freddy Mercury.
Flapjack.
Repeato.
Mosey to top of Tree Lined Avenue.
Gettysburg Address
Gettysburg Address – 4 score and 7 years ago…. (87 years after the Declaration of Independence)
Each Pax does 20 Power Merkins (merkins with partner’s feet on your back). Flapjack.
Each pair (together) does a long lap all the way down the Tree Lined Avenue and back.
Repeato.
4 times total.
7 x Burpees at end.
On the Avenue of Trees:
Leg Jack Webb aka Suzanne Somers aka The Thighmaster
Do you know Jack Webb’s middle name? I don’t either, but he does have one. You know who doesn’t have a middle name? Abraham Lincoln.
1 x Lunge, 4 x Squats
2 x Lunge, 8 x Squats
etc.
up to 10 x Lunges, 40 x Squats
Mosey to hot box.
Fun Fact: Lincoln didn’t move to Illinois until he was 21. He grew up in Indiana. Which has nothing to do with this next exercise.
Coyote Ugly on picnic tables. 3 reps. Flapjack.
Dips.
Fun Fact: You know who didn’t dip? Abraham Lincoln. He didn’t drink, smoke or chew, either.
Plank Jack x 10 → Sprint to next speed hump. Repeato.
Mosey on back to launch for some abbreviated Mary.
fin.
Moleskin.
YHC serendipitously pulled up to the AO in a rental car with Illinois plates (the “Land of Lincoln”, which as we just learned is a total misnomer). After announcing the theme of the workout – Lincoln’s Birthday – Mermaid disclosed that he had just finished reading a biography on Lincoln. Great – a ringer. He will be fact checking everything I said.
A few highlights from The Gloom:
-#Cobains to Runstopper for slowing down his bearcrawl. At one point he just got tired of waiting on my slowness and just walked it out. Stop wasting my time, Q.
– Fallout was sporting a sharp, matching yellow-accented coordinated workout outfit sent by his agent in the mail. Lorax admired it. We all did.
– Prohibition shared with us that he carries most of his weight in his ankles. This is great for Power Merkins, bad for his partner. Cankles are the sign of a great leader.
-Mermaid also had a relaxing weekend of sitting by pool for 72 hours for 3 mins of action, so he was primed and ready to go.
– Magoo up front most of the morning and continues to be a stud.
– Point Break must have tapered for this morning’s workout. Strong performance. Won one of the sprints.
– Prohibition out to Anvil for first time in a while. Good to see you brother.
– Bonus points to Snowflake who knew how long a “score” was. 20 years.
– Snuka is timeless and I want to be like him when I grow up.
– Brilleaux is SBD. Silent but Deadly. But not in the flatulent sense. He is the silent killer. Like Radon or Carbon Monoxide.
– The Kettlebell Krew doing exercises near us has a very German techno-industrial vibe compared our own rag tag group of Patrot Citizens at Anvil. At the end of the workout it appeared we were denied a joint COT. Not to inflame the situation, but this has all the makings of an Area51 Civil War if we aren’t careful. Suggest back-channel diplomacy over beers at The Lodge. Building a Wall will be on the table and the Donut Run guys will pay for it.
Other fun Lincoln Facts:
- He was 6′ 4″
- Lincoln battled depression for much of his life. On that note – Serious Stuff: February is a tough month for a lot of people. Please be aware of those around you who may need help but who may not be voicing it.
Editor’s Note: The formatting on this version of WordPress blows. I tried four different browsers on two different devices and three different networks to get this thing to post. And I couldn’t get my usual graphics and bells and whistles and pyrotechnics to work. Defeating.
Announcements:
- South Mountain 50K – February 22 – Details here: https://f3southcharlotte.com/2020/01/27/absolutely-unofficial-and-completely-unorganized-south-mountain-50k/
- The Mortimer 100 – March 14. The Hickory pax organized a 100-mile relay race on March 14:
http://f3hickory.com/2019/11/11/mortimer-100/
It starts somewhere down near Granite Falls and finishes at Howard’s Knob. Kodak is leading the Boone team. Donate here to support them:
https://www.facebook.com/donate/788085948356012/
- Beer Mile April 24 – Check Slack for Top Secret location.
LRC – 3 Couples and the 7th Wheel (Smithers)
You own a zebra, I own a goat, what the hell does that have to do with running?
It was a Couples Retreat today at LRC with 3 power couples (Deadwood/Zin, Hooch/Longhorn, Deflated/Foundation) and Smithers making for a total of 7 pax. Today the route was to run the standard loop (1.5 miles) in reverse. With majority of Pax at the starting point we take off and begin running. Each couple settles in for a stroll through Lawson neighborhood. Along the way we run into our final couple Hooch/Longhorn and they join in for a portion before departing the island and heading back to the other side of Lawson. Around the 1/2 way mark Zin/Deadwood breakout for a private session of Guess your disease or translate your tribal tattoo and leave before COT. After mile 6 Deflated tells YHC to take the French out of my mouth and don’t tell him what to do. So he decided to end at 6 miles. Smithers finished with PR for distance.
COT
Announcements:
None
How to Lose 1/3 of the PAX
How to lose 1/3rd of the PAX: Step 1 – forget who is on Q. Step 2 – Rain. Step 3 – only do stretching for warm up (not a good sign) BTW – most PAX can’t touch their toes. Step 4 – Play a 9-hole course in the neighborhood. Step 5 – Run through a flood trail. Step 6 – finish off with 8-count body builders.
Warm UP: Side-Straddle-hops, Calf stretch, touch your toes, runners lunge and off we go running through the neighborhood.
First hole: 9 burpees
Second hole: 9 Alligator Merkins
Third hole: 9 Burpees+four mountain climbers per
Fourth hole: 9 Mike Tysons
Fifth hole: 9 Single leg lunges
Sixth hole: 18 Squats
Seventh hole: 18 Bobby Hurleys
Eight hole: 18 Supermans
Note: I might have the holes mixed up.
Then run on a trail that is flooded – isn’t there some driving guidance here that if you can’t see the road you shouldn’t be driving. Well the same applies for the PAX in the dark – NOTED>
Ninth hole: 9 Eight Count body builders followed by some DELTA crunches.
Started with six – ended with 4. But all were safely accounted for in the end.
How to Disassemble a 4+ Mile Run
So this was my third Q ( yes, I know I still need to attend Q School… ) and my first to lead a group of gazelles at Ignition. So, the biggest challenge for me was how do I run 4+ miles and make it creative and fun? So I went with what was familiar; my hood and a track that I mapped out and used to run before I was recruited by #f3waxhaw. (Thanks @Hollywood). And also what better way to promote group participation than to put each pax on the spot and lead an exercise throughout the workout? So that was the basic recipe for my weinke…
WARM UP
Mosey to front of middle school
SSH x 20
Potato picker x 5
JDs L & R
Merkins x10
P parkers x10
Mtn climbers x10
Calve stretch
THE THANG
Burpee Indian run to middle school side entrance on Cuthbertson Rd
Jail break to Lawson entrance
Run down to T section stopping at each side st
Complete 5 burpees
10 Mike Ts
15 jumping lunges ( 16 for those OCD folks that need to make it even )
Mosey to 5 forks pool parking lot – at this point I explained our two options and realized that too many words this early in the morning is counter productive and creates mass confusion…
PAX choice – either
Partner up
.5mi lap and then 20 pull ups
40 box jumps
60 squats
(split with partner)
OR – J/K we’re going with a “L220” – That’s a Lawson 2 mile run with 20 rep exercise at each intersection & cul-de-sac.
L220 Run to Lawson entrance.
2mi run – first pax to ea culdesac and intersection picks the exercise x 20 reps
I think there were a total of 12+ stops so everyone got a chance to lead. Abs seemed to be the popular choice which I think worked out well.
Jail break back to cuthbertson side entrance
Moseyed back to side parking lot for partner work P1 does dips rd 1, derkins rd 2, step ups rd 3 on picnic tables P2 runs a hot lap around the parking lot and tags P1 to switch Rinse and repeat
Deadwood used our last 90 seconds for an ab web of big boys and v-ups.
MOLESKIN
The whole Q was a blur since I arrived with about 4 minutes to spare. Dicccs (added the extra “c” for “crossing”) were given during eager chatter to get started I guess and then we were off. We moved quickly and crushed, what I’m sure will become famous, my L220 run which was the main course of my weinke for the day… Enforcing the pax participation rule throughout the course was important otherwise Bottlecap and Hollywood would have led the majority of the exercises. They can’t help it… And I get it; once you start you can’t stop, it stings. I don’t think I could have worn this group out with any number of intersections or cul-de-sacs. Everyone crushed it and pushed each other the whole time. And even literally saw a pax pushing another up one of our hills. Awesome
ANNOUNCEMENTS
This week offers the chance for a 9’er badge. Whatever y’all are calling it… Push yourself and level up this week! Keep Chicken littles family member in your thoughts and prayers this week.
God speed!
It takes a big man to admit when he is wrong. I am NOT a big man.
After an inspirational text from Hops yesterday, (“If I were not site Q, there is 0% chance I would post”), I arrived this morning pleasantly surprised to find 14 gentle men ready for the weekly assault on one of many Area 51 private school AOs. The rain stopped just before launch, so it was a pleasant morning. We did some exercises, mostly involving partner 1 doing something here while partner B runs over there and back, up the stairs and back, around the thing and back, etc. Just over 3 miles, so I’ll probably get dinged by Hops in my review.
Topics of discussion:
– Scratch n Win insists that “40% chance of rain” means that 40% of the geographic area will get rain. I don’t believe him. He crumbled upon cross-examination. He probably fell for the “NASA said today is the only day a broom will stand up” thing yesterday too.
– Despite sparing no expense on the water feature and curved bricks on the new building, somehow the staircase beside the building holds water like the South Charlotte MS track.
– Thanks to Puddin’ Pop for helping me with the hand signals so the guys knew when to stop.
– Reebok showed up in full fleece sweat pants, ready to absorb all the rain he could.
Do yourself a favor. If you haven’t heard Flight of the Conchords, “Business Time”, look it up on your favorite streaming service. Comedy gold. It came up at RockZero because Bounce had his business socks on. It’s business time.
I guess I’m Pinky
Today’s workout was brought to you by the iconic video game Pac-Man developed in 1980 where an 8 bit pizza shaped character was to maneuver around a puzzle board eating up little dots without getting eaten by ghosts. I’m sure none of you have ever heard of it, but trust me it was a thing. Anyway, if you look overhead at the New Town parking lot you can almost make out a simplified version of the board which inspired me for this particular Q. Plus it was threatening to rain so I wasn’t trying to wonder off and find puddles and the like.
The Thang
We warmed up with a half lap, circled up for SSH’s, Jimmy Dugan’s, Imperial Walkers, Calf Stretches, and Dry Docks. From there the plan was simple, there were four entrance points to the main parking lot where we would do an exercise of some sort then snaking around to the next entrance point. Once complete, we’d do a full lap around the exterior and repeat.
- Round 1 – alternate monkey humpers and dry docks
- Round 2 – alternate speed skaters and merkins
- Round 3 – alternate squats and lunges
- Round 4 – alternate squatted air presses and jabs
- Round 5 – alternate speed skaters and dry docks
Lastly, run around like dummies for a minute and half because we didn’t get to 45 yet.
Moleskin
I think it’s safe to say the Gerber was our Pac-Man with the rest of us trying to catch him and to figure out who was Inky, Blinky,Pinky and Clyde. I happened to be in a bright pink shirt so I guess I’m Pinky.
That was my first non-Cuthbertson Q, tried to come up with ideas to get us covered but a scan of the grounds proved otherwise. The rain held off so life was good. Thanks to Smithers for the invite to Q, take a note my friend: WE DID NOT LIE DOWN ON THE GROUND WHEN IT WAS SOAKING WET.
Announcements:
- Folding party at Christ Closet this Thursday
Long Over Do Weight Loss Update
As we enter Week 5 YHC has not been able to provide as frequent updates as expected. In fact had to schedule a work travel trip in order to ensure an update can be posted. So without further adieu let us see how the competition is shaping up. Remember competition ends 3/5/20.
Current Top 3 Individuals who are in the money:
- Smithers – down 22.7 lbs (9.0%) continues to use his TI 84 calculator to record every meal and has taken control of the top spot in week 5.
- Blades of Glory – down 23.4 lbs (8.4%) did he shoot from the red line with early weight loss and incur an “icing” infraction or can he find his way to his goal weight. Time will tell
- Doughboy – down 22 lbs (7.7%) based on losing the top spot has committed to reducing intake from 1,000 calories day to just a mini rice cake in hopes of reclaiming the crown. On side note, ensure all Q’s going forward have proper chap stick on site to resuscitate if needed.
Pax just outside the money
- Deflated – down 15.3 lbs (7.4%) potential to reach Top 3 if warm weather kicks in as additional layers will begin to increase sweat output
- Foundation – down 17.4 lbs (7.1%), due to fat shaming by Smithers at remains in striking contention
- Boitano – down 13.2 lbs (5.6%), Give him a grape or an orange but none of that stinkin rootbeer until this competition is over.
- Deadwood – down 9.4 lbs* (4.4%) was down last week with swine flu…in where he just ate bacon. Somehow between the 20+ weigh ins on everything from official scale, scale at home, to produce scale at Harris Teeter supposedly is down 9 lbs.
- Banjo – down 10 lbs (4.1%), made it through Dryuary, interested to see impact of latest beer run from this past Saturday
- Deep Dish – down 8.4 lbs (4.0%), appears to switched out the deep dish for the lean cuisines and almost down double digits
Pax outside looking in…
- Recalculating – down 6.2 lbs (3.0%), did he subscribe to the liquid diet? After 3 drinks, does not give crap what he weighs? We shall see in next few weigh ins coming up
- Jingles – down 7.6 lbs (2.9%), not only a lurker on GroupMe but looking to lurk and magically appear at final weigh in a winner? We will find out
- Nails – down 5.5 lbs (2.2%), with no additional logged weights unsure of progress. But teammate Zin has sent him on trip to Haiti in hopes of remodeling his teammate.
- Fuse Box – down 5.4 lbs (2.2%), the Don of Briarcrest will the client roadshow end and allow for him to move up chart?
- Zin – down 4.6 lbs (2.1%), refuses to weigh in again until it earns him a new badge, request remains in pending status with app help desk
- On Time down 4.6 lbs (1.9%) continues to drop lbs while on IR. Will time run out before he can cash in?
- Rudy – down 4.2 lbs (1.8%), continues to show up every morning, but will Coach Devine finally let him log another weigh in?
- Damascus – down 3.8 lbs (1.6%), has not weighed in past week 1, YHC still has 10+ emails to answer related to questions being asked on how competition works
- Wedding Singer – down 3.2 lbs (1.4%), Farewell tour added few lbs from week 1, lets see what CO living does in final weeks
- Brutus – down 2 lbs (0.9%), unsure if consistent posting of waffles by Recalc has caused him to avoid scale, but lets see if he will log another weight this comp
Team Standings:
- Team Ice Capades (Deflated/Blades Glory/Boitano) – 21.4%
- Team Chocolate Cookie (Deadwood/Foundation/Smithers) – 20.4%
- Team Hunger Games(Recalc/Doughboy/Banjo) – 14.9%
- Team Rex Ryan Love Bunions (Deep Dish/Jingles/Damascus) – 8.5%
- Team Delirium Tremens (Zin/Nails/Rudy) – 6.2%
- Team Traveling Circus (Brutus/Fuse/Wedding Singer) – 4.4%
Remember a few weeks left, lets see how many more can cross into the 20+ lbs club by the final weigh in.
98-96 (OT)
Another Monday, another Base Camp. A very detailed work-out plan with signature clover insignia via satellite imaging was scrapped due to cold weather, very soggy fields, and construction machines lying in wait near the baseball fields. 12 PAX were lucky to endure a very on-the-fly regimen instead.
The theme of the day was 14, i.e., the number of points scored by the winning team on Saturday. Secondary theme, Brad Pitt is dreamy (I think that’s what was said?)
COP:
SSH’s x 14 (almost messed that up due to zero execution on the cadence)
LSS x 14
IWs x 14
(perfectly executed turns to face each PAX for each rep on the above three by yours truly)
Mountain Climbers x 14
Plank Jacks x 14
Fully prepared for it, but no revenge-demonstrations requested by Hopper (thanks!)
Mosey to Rosecliff with 14 CDDs at each speed bump.
Triple nickle time: 5 merkins at bottom of the hill “by the mailbox on the right”), 5 squats at top o’ hill, plank for those finishing early (clarification by Geraldo as to “if you finish early” vs. “if you finish” noted).
Mosey to Fairway Downs Ct to partner up for core work. Partner 1 runs to cul-de-sac (translation: bottom of the bag, which is what this workout plan felt like), Partner 2 LBCs. Flap jack. Second round, Freddy Mercuries. During said runs, Sardine and I discussed the finer points of both koozies and running lights.
Mosey to the rock pile (on the way, PAX noted again that the lights on South Fork’s fancy car were still on). Same partners, grab a lifting only rock. Partner 1 cycles through 10 x curls, shoulder presses and tri extensions, Partner 2 does “that run, you know, the angled route towards the bleachers and then back via the stairs”, flap jack. Two rounds total.
Mosey to the front of the school for 14 x step-up and dips.
Return to launch for overtime of 14 x American hammer aaaannnnndddd time.
My Steve Jobs watch – which tends to exaggerate – had us at 3.6 miles. Is that possible?!
Announcement: Christmas Party (probably) October 2020, be on the look out for tickets soon.
There is a crazy 100 mile relay race from Hickory to Boone on March 14. Mailman mentioned a 50K’er on Feb 22 as well – but the 100 mile relay race info is at: https://f3hickory.com/2019/11/11/mortimer-100/ A group of Boone F3ers are running and raising money in the 100 miler.
The 50Ker info is at https://f3southcharlotte.com/2020/01/27/absolutely-unofficial-and-completely-unorganized-south-mountain-50k/ – several Charlotte folks have talked about getting together for this one (the legend Mermaid one of these people apparently).
It is scientifically proven that you gain more muscle if you lift to 80s movie montages
Today kicked off week 6 of our kettlebell strength program. 7 pax showed up to swing some iron around. It was deadlift/waiter carry/clean/squat day and we have been finishing the weinke pretty quickly the last couple times we’ve done it. I encouraged pax who have been breezing through this weinke to take a step up in weight today, your thighs should be burning today like your forearms do on swing/farmer carry days. It worked, we didn’t get finished with the weinke main weinke until 6:10.
The Thang:
Quick Warmup: IWx10 Windmillx10 ArmCircle Forwardx10 Arm Circle backward x10
10 RDLs each leg. Pax were encouraged to have doubles and to go heavy if possible.
Waiter carries: 5 rounds of 90 seconds each with a 30 sec break in between
5×5 Double Cleans
5×5 Double Front Squats
5 mins left to burn out so I had the pax circle up in plank. First pax does 1 merkin, next pax does 1 merkin, all the way around the circle until everyone has gone. Next everyone takes a turn doing 2 merkins. Pax that fail with their merkins or put their knees on the ground are out. Time ran out during the 8 or 9 merkin round with most pax still alive.
COT
Announcements: Program continues on Wednesday. Rumor is we are going to switch to some snatches instead of 30 minutes of swings.
Moleskine:
Here is the playlist
- Montage/Team America World Police
- Heart’s on Fire/Rocky 4
- You’re the Best/Karate Kid
- I’ll Make a Man Out of You/Mulan
- Eye of the Tiger/Rocky 3
- Push it to the Limit/Scarface
- Maniac/Flashdance
- Danger Zone/Top Gun
- Gonna Fly Now(Rocky Theme)
- The Final Countdown(not an 80s movie montage but it should be)
The playlist generated a lot of fun mumblechatter as pax described the scenes and plots from the movies. Unfortunately movie montages are relatively short songs so these 10 hits didn’t quite fill up the 45 minutes that is Swole. YHC would appreciate another song or two to add to the list for the next time we need extra motivation.