7/9/19 7:10 PM
Rubbermaid: You want to Q commitment July 27
7/9/19 8:36 PM
Posse: Sure. I didn’t want to go to the Crane anyway.
Scouting & prepping for weeks to find something new for the Commitment Pax, I clutched my pearls when Run Flat rolls up in the literal 6:29 to say “I’m Q’ing today.”
“Dude”, I whispered, “I’ve already got some stuff out there…can you push to next week?”
RF disappointingly accepts, and I dispense the DiCCS in a more whimsical fashion than my previous monologue. Pax this time were hung up when I asked for a show of hands of who had BOTH the desire and certified knowledge to save a man’s life, even if it meant applying chest compressions and putting your mouth on another man’s mouth? To no one’s surprise, Damascus asked, “What if you have the desire but aren’t certified?”
The Warmup
Paula Abdul’s using the trees on the right.
2 trees up = 10 Carolina Dry Docks
1 tree back = 5 Diamond Merkins
I could tell most everyone was thinking this was going to be pretty easy. But by 6 trees in, the Diamonds were starting to cut.
J-Wow & Damascus crushed this pretty quick, so they already moved to the rock piles for our next event.
Pick a lifting rock. Most Pax are now skeptical when instructed to do this, so we did bench presses until everyone was in & on their back with a rock.
Walk 10 feet to see a drawing that looked like Sanscrit to most (because it took way to long to explain what to do).
The diagram had the rightmost building of the school displayed. To the right of the school are sidewalks that form a triangle. Rocks are going to be deposited at each corner. With 8 rock-wielding Pax, the fastest 3 will drop their rocks at the farthest corner; slowest 2 drop their rocks at the closest corner, etc.
Legalized, typically downplaying his fitness, is in the top 3 here! #GoodNewsBadNews
Regroup for SSH.
To keep the mystery in my madness, we don’t use the rocks just yet. Instead, we go to the hill for 7’s: Plank Jacks & Rosalita’s.
Where is there a hill? Next to the big set of steps connecting the school to the baseball fields. It is graded such that one side is at least twice the length of the other, so Pax can pick their position.
Because we started at the top of the hill, Pax believe it’s easy & fun (possibly). They didn’t realize that means they also make an additional climb to finish at the top.
Regroup back at the Boulder Triangle for Imperial Walkers.
25 bicep curls
25 tricep curls
25 thrusters
hot lap between each exercise – touch the yellow chain on the far side of the parking lot (1 route was longer for the gazelles)
When you finish all 3 corners, grab a rock & take it back to the pile. Fuse & I finish at our 3rd corner at the same time. I start to admonish him for taking the rock back from the corner that only has 2 rocks. He says, “But everyone else is done. They all have rocks, too.” I looked back to see it was true. Everyone had finished within seconds of each other, regardless of ability! Wow, I should really teach a class in keeping Pax together.
While we’re doing this, Mad Dog is doing his MASH with us (more on that later). I realize the next thing we’re about to do has some obstacles on it. During one of my hot laps, I ask him to head there ahead of us and take care of it for me. Ever the #ServantLeader, he does it. I still don’t know what happened to those obstacles, but I’ve learned to never ask a Marine how he makes his sausage.
Mosey behind the school, where there are 2 large & wide benches (formally topped with clothes). Pax follow me as we double leg hop over the benches.
We all know to not let Damascus be behind us during the workout. Unfortunately, Run Flat learned to not let Damasus be in front of him either. As we traverse down the benches, Damascus’ foot finds Run Flat’s face. Probably an honest accident, but part of me is haunted by Damascus’ question to put his desire into action today. Coffeteria would find a very bloodshot eye in the Flattest of all Runners.
Suicide Doors
15 American Hammers at door 1.
10 Bomb Jacks at the other doors around the building, in a suicide fashion.
Damascus leads Supermans while waiting for the 6.
Bears on the Ski Slopes
10 burpees just to get people spread out
Bear crawl up the ramp of each of 4 learning cottages
Rail walk down the ramp
Between each learning cottage, take a hot lap doing mogul jumps over a short playground balance beam.
Several questioned the safety of doing the rail walks. But I know the quality that goes into each UCPS railing & had full confidence in their steel.
Carb Load stepping up to lead LBC’s while waiting for the 6.
Swerkins (feet in a swing while doing merkins)
Partner by opposite ability
150 swerkins as a team; alternate with running to the rock
Partner transition included a handslap merkin that did NOT count for the 150. Twinkle Toes threatened me with partner carries if I didn’t recant the noncounts. #NoDice
My runs to the rock had me nostalgic for Saturdays to come.
I picked J-Wow as my partner, knowing I had a ringer. Then was surprised in my last trip that I had to finish the last 15 swerkins. He had a sly smile that had me thinking he went to 300 while waiting for me to return & just needed a run to clear the mind.
Mosey to the front of the school where we grapevined left & right to Mad Dog doing some dynamic stretches.
Continue mosey to the fields, where someone had placed cones the length of the soccer field in EXACT 10-yard increments. How could someone convert a soccer field to a football field with no measuring tools? Band.
Human Hurdles
Same partners. P1 runs to the 10-yard cone & planks. P2 jumps over P1 and goes on the next cone, where he planks. Repeat down the field.
This is one of my favorite things to do as a summer Q. Takes me back to when I was a latchkey kid and would stack pillows between 2 chairs and see how many I could jump over. For J-Wow, though, it must have been PTSD-ish, as he kept planking lower & lower every time I had to jump him.
Human Bridges
We gotta get back to the other side of the field. So this time you have to army crawl under your partner. Some Pax outright refused, choosing to bear crawl around their partner. Not accustomed to refusenik behavior. I’ll show you.
Tunnel of Love
Everyone plank up shoulder to shoulder facing the same direction. I begin the army crawl underneath each of the Pax, followed by everyone else. Fusebox was with me the last time I did this. And while he proclaims to be a non-touchy person, he made no attempt to army crawl under us. Choosing instead to do a simple crawl on all 4’s, resulting in his back collecting bodily fluids off the front of each one of us. I couldn’t even plank high enough for him as he carried me for a couple of feet until I slid off from excessive Pax lubricant. Me thinks he doth protest too much.
Bridge of Hate
Never done this one before, and it showed.
Everyone on their back, still in close quarters. Pax get carried down the line, ala crowd surfing / mosh pit surfing.
I go first to demonstrate. I lay on Run Flat, waiting for him to push me up & towards the crowd. All I hear are no’s. You people. I discovered the wrong kind of hate.
Fine, Jack Webbs. I’ll show you. Normally, I like the JW. This time, they called out the #AngryQ. I’m calling out the first 4 rounds with no one saying a thing. I have to remind them that unless they answer me, I can’t see them through my blind rage. They come around on round 5.
Just before the 10th round, I say “Halfway there…”. Twinkle Toes startles out of his own gloom for a moment. It’s fun to be taken too literal sometimes.
As we cross the street to the starting parking lot, Damascus marvels how we ended on the second of 60 minutes worked. Thanks. You don’t want to know what was next if we had any more time left.
Moleskine
Mad Dog is leading a MASH initiative in this region. If you are injured or recovering from an injury, it can be lonely staying at home, especially when you have sampled the insane fellowship F3 brings to men. Because we now have multiple workouts every weekday, most Pax can delay reaching out to someone they haven’t seen in a while, assuming they must have been in a different AO. The loneliness will cause you to spiral further down.
Instead, come on out with us. Walk the perimeter of the AO. Or walk to the stations the Q has set up. Do some stretches while others do exercises. Be the form police. I don’t care; just show! You need this as much as we need you there.
Reach out to the Pax you know are hurting, physically or mentally. MASH will not be nearly as effective when only 1 Pax is doing it. It takes a minimum of 2 men to do this.
You could even do this for the men who are so worried about their (lack of) fitness that they never post. Maybe a try it before you buy it?
I had a moleskine from my last Q to assess my 4 years in F3. It never got published because it was taking too long to complete it. With Commitment being my first ever posting, this is as good a time as any to reflect.
My 4-year story doesn’t print so cleanly as others.
Maybe for some of you, a switch flips, and you’re off to the races. You’ve beaten the Sad Clown. Congrats!
Maybe you’re more like me, where you fight a gaggle of clowns each day. Different outfits. Different voices. Different lies. Struggling more than necessary.
The most prevalent lies lately have been “You have no value; you serve no purpose; you’re just taking up space.”
However, a couple of events have helped me just about wipe the makeup off this clown.
I was asked to be one of four WUC Pax to investigate forming our own region. I was honored, but the clown said, “Look at those other 3 guys; you don’t belong there! You just have longevity, not leadership!” But when the clown wasn’t looking, I said yes.
Meeting after meeting, I would contribute a little more. At one point, as they were describing the role of a Weasel Shaker, Mad Dog says, “Oh, that’s Posse.” I gave him my classic WTF look, but others were looking and nodding. I couldn’t see in myself what was obvious to others. #BlindSpot
But I will believe more about what others think about me than what I think about myself. By being around so many HIM, the clown is getting worn down. That voice is getting quieter. Clown’s got a case of laryngitis, and it may be terminal.
The other thing happened a couple weeks ago. I resigned from my job to go to a different company. On my next to last day of the old job, I sent an email to my team, describing what a few of them did for me on my birthday in San Francisco last month, and the impact it had on me. In opening up and showing that vulnerability, an overwhelming and completely unexpected wave of appreciation came back to me from them. I was told how valuable I was. How I was going to be missed.
On the last day, a different group of people came by, but with a similar theme – I had made the difference in their success at the company. The way I helped. The way I cared. I was valuable to them.
I floated out of there feeling such massive gratitude. This bubble of joy separated me from that clown. At least far enough to stare back and see the lies. I have a hand around the clown’s throat for once, and the squeeze feels pretty good.
The common thread is that I was in an environment that freed me to accomplish the mission with the full measure of my abilities and personality. Instead of thinking my true self needed to be hidden, my true self allowed me to be of most service.
I also realized if I had been more open about my struggles to others, I would be much further down the path of being more impactful. I opened up a little to a few who had shown their vulnerability to me (hmm…interesting concept). Each time it helped, and I am grateful for those conversations. But I held back because I didn’t think you could handle the dark goo that swirls inside me. And the last thing I wanted to hear were platitudes like “It’ll get better.” Instead, I was met each time by, “Yeah, I have that goo, too.” Or, “Here’s what I do when that happens to me.”
But even with these regressions in physical fitness, I was still accelerating in leadership, even if I didn’t see it at the time. I just chose not to focus on the positive. Or, I’d listen to the clown explain the positive was the anomaly and the negative is who I really am. If you’re going through the same thing, I’d encourage you to flip that around as well. No good ever came from a clown.
Announcements
Summer is my favorite time to Q; when I can run around buses without Diesel Death (from the bus; but your flatulence is just as deadly) or fear of vehicular manslaughter. But the Flash / Impromptu / Ignition buses are parked such that a Cheddar Weave is impossible. Others have used them as accessories; I wanted to feature them today.
Spike rolls in early and barely misses the Ignition crowd. I’m glad he chooses to stick with us.
DiCCS properly (if not semi-erotically) administered.
THE THANG
Last time I Q’ed here, I introduced the Turpee. I didn’t realize it would take off like that, but here’s what it looks like. With a brief demo, I asked the Pax to knock out 4 of them. They obliged, and thus unwittingly celebrated my 4th anniversary in F3. See Zin, you don’t have to show all your cards up front.
The Q juice kicked in on T4, and we I was off like Jason Statham in Crank (NSFW). To the front of the school for ascending / descending Turpees. One at the first light; 2 at the second, etc; up to 7, then work back down to 1. Added another element I call the Tortoise & the Hare. We would stop this foolishness when either:
+ The fastest person made it from 1 – 7 – 1
OR
+ The slowest person made it from 1 – 7.
The Tortoise won, which surprised me. Also, a surprise was not many lights between T & H. Final surprise, I didn’t get passed until light 3
Mosey to the 8th bus on the Middle School side. Plank while all come in. Point out to Pax that UCPS came out 30 minutes ago to draw a chalk line separating the 8th from the 9th bus.
Peter Parker right leg only while Pax ponder why.
Mosey to the 16th bus. Same kind of chalk line.
Peter Parker left leg only while Pax postulate if Posse is responsible for these and the Nazca lines.
Told to pair up by opposite ability. To help figure that out, we’re going to run backwards uphill the way we came. The first finisher will pair with the last, and so on. Pairs made; let’s head to the benches in front of the cafeteria.
I realize in Round 1 Dasher & Mad Dog have paired up. T-claps to Mad Dog for triaging Dasher into MASH mid-workout. They’re doing yoga in the corner. Which one of you is Hawkeye?
Round 2, I cross paths with Big Tuna, whose complaint became today’s title.
Round 3, I hear the #OldManGrunt of Recalculating, and I know I’ve done OK.
And throughout the workout, I hear Fuse #QWhispering as he tries to fill his Chiseled calendar. Fish in your own pond.
Great work by those teams finishing early to help out on the reps in each round! My partner, Joy, was a beast like I have never seen from him before. At each handoff, he consistently had more reps than me across all rounds. Impressive!
To avoid the chain decapitation of Dromedary last week, I pointed out the bright yellow chain to step over to make our way to the field. However, I neglected to point out a hole just 1 step beyond the chain. Chainsaw found it with his ankle, sorry to say.
Up to the top of the field for the Tunnel of Love. Assumed it would be a first for many. Pax plank shoulder to shoulder while one end of the line army crawls under the group to the other end. #ManTouchMonday
Back to the sidewalk. Five jump squats at each light as we go back to start. SSH & IW IC while everyone comes in.
MOLESKINE
Yeah, I had a lot of stuff in here. That’s why it took an extra day. Ultimately I couldn’t write it without rambling. A story for another time, perhaps.
Announcements
Q School – If you have Q’ed less than a handful of times, you need it. If you’ve never had access to write a backblast, help is in the sign up as well. THIS Saturday, 7/20. Hands-on training to ensure your success. http://bit.do/qschool
Elevation Church is beginning Love Week the last week in July. Lots of 3rd F opportunities throughout the area. Don’t need to be a member to help. Mad Dog and others will be resources for more questions.
Swimmers is Q’ing Zero Prostate Cancer 5k Run/Walk in Ballantyne 9/14. Speed for Need will be there.
If you are a Site Q, and you are feeling like it is time to roll off, this is the perfect time. We just had Site Q School last Saturday, and there are some men ready to take on new leadership roles within F3. Talk to your co-Site Q.
See Legal Zoom about the campground revival down near Mineral springs. Equal parts preachin’, playin’, and puddin’ for the 3rd week in July.
F3 Dad’s still going strong on Saturdays at 0900 in Dogwood Park
121 Lester Davis Rd, Waxhaw, NC 28173
Nails is on Q this Saturday, but see Gerber to pick up your Q.
“Fortune favors the prepared mind” – Louis Pasteur
I had 3 workouts prepared for Outland today:
I’m hoping for #2, but the rain is coming down hard at T-30 minutes. So that means a pile of leftovers at #3.
Look at the radar, and I see 56 minute break in the weather coming. Plan A is ON!
Christmas & Madison agreed last night they were doing the prerun. In the wet, nasty gloom, both considered fartsacking, but #Accountability saved the day.
60 seconds before launch: “Let’s talk about DiCCS.” Everyone takes one big step away from me.
Regular Disclaimer | 3 CPR certified | 2 Cells on body | Specific Site Safety Standards (going to be crossing the road several times; off campus the entire time; believe cars can’t see you)
The Warmup
Cross the highway as a group. Run to the back of Novant parking lot.
69 SSH
Madison: “Dang it, Posse, the site record was 70.” Just going by Apache’s philosophy of not ending on a 5 or 10 to ensure the Pax are listening.
The Thang (with some moleskine in the game)
On the back road, start at the mailbox and use the 5 trees in front of Goddard School as suicide end points. 3 burpees at each tree & back to the mailbox.
Mosey 10 yards to behind the Credit Union.
Partner with someone of opposite ability. Faster partner runs to the 3rd light; slower partner runs to the 2nd light. As a group:
100 T-Merkins
200 Squats
300 LBC’s
Because of the pairings, all 3 groups finished within a minute of each other.
Long mosey to the strip mall with the storage place & boarded up 24/7 Fitness. #PUT6
Window Shopping – At each door along this strip mall, 5 Heels to Heaven. With all the rain just finishing, the last station got us plenty moist. But H2H, along with the moisture, created these odd noises in our clothes that could be reminiscent of a #SmartSack from a few days ago.
Mosey to Wells Fargo. Curb agilities up, then down.
Different partners, same concept. P1 runs from one island to another. P2 does a burpee in a parking space, then bear crawls to the next space. Flapjack til you get to the end. Go back the other way, except replace a bear crawl with a crab walk.
Mosey across the street, back to the SVHS campus. Head to the trailer quad.
Each Pax bear crawls up a trailer ramp, then crawl bears back down. Come to the picnic benches in the center & do 20 jazzercise step ups. When you step up, bring the other knee up high. When you step down, take a reverse lunge so you can touch the ground with your hand. My first demonstration was so elegant, they asked me to do it again. I felt like I was at the Y step class again, but this time, *I* was the cute woman with the bubbly personality, headband, and wireless mic. My mascara was running…
Too many Pax for everyone to start at the trailers, so I start on my steps. Flashback to this song (but sped up to get the steps synched to the beat [nevermind – found it]) as I start tearing up the tables. Then I can hear Madison complain that those ramps are like razor blades on your hands. Wow, for an Ironman, he sure is a pu- “Holy crap on a stick – that hurts!” OK, let’s audible off this.
Grab 2 tires & put them in the parking lot. Even teams of 3.
P1 flips tire | P2 5 fence squats | P3 reverse burpee
Went til we got to the end of the parking lot. Don’t know why, but I freaking love the tire flip. The deep fence squats are the perfect precursor to practice getting low enough for the tire. A good form enforcer.
Put tires back, like they never knew we were there.
Make our way back to the start, but we’re kinda far out. So along the way we stop for American Hammers, Imperial Squawkers, & Rosalitas.
At the end of the Rosalitas, it begins to rain. No worries, 15 yards away from shelter and 3 minutes left to try a new exercise.
<REDACTED UNTIL MY NEXT Q>
The Pax gave some good feedback. I think it’ll work.
COT
I offered up Q Source for this Coffeteria, since I haven’t seen any posts about it on this side of the county. Only Madison has been to a Q Source before, so we EH’ed Woody & Christmas. Coffeteria is now at Poppy’s Bagels instead of McDonalds – definite upgrade (full discolsure: my wife owns McDonald’s stock; we’re getting rich off y’all’s addiction to bad foodlike substances!).
Today’s Q-Tip talks about getting right, like in a boat. Discussed poignant analogies of your boat being overturned, listing to the side, or being in the air bubble under the boat. None of that is the way you or the boat is designed to get down the river. Sometimes you realize it; other times, you have to be told. Either way, it takes courage to take the #DRP to get yourself back in the boat. Or more likely, be willing to let someone help you right your boat. That’s a constant struggle for me. I know I’ve capsized, but I’m too proud or too ashamed to ask for that hand. If I only open my eyes, I would realize that those who are reaching out have just righted their own boat a short while ago. They have been in the water, too.
As my brothers help me climb into a righted boat, I gain the perspective that there are LOTS of men around me who have capsized. Most are not asking for help. But I can see they are hurting.
Let’s get to paddling, guys. It’s not hard to find that man underwater. Extend an oar. Throw a life preserver. Help him get right.
When Chiseled was first becoming an AO, I suggested the above title (it’s a church parking lot for those outside the WUC). Clearly, it didn’t stick. So I boycotted NTS Chiseled, staying comfy with the Dromedarians I hold so dear. Even though NTS is closer, my grudge fueled the difference in distance.
So when Fuse Box asked me to Q, I had to confront more demons than just how to spend 45 minutes.
Never Q’d a gear workout.
Don’t really feel that strong.
Kinda busy. Would rather just be a taker than a giver right now.
Warm Up
I’m known for my long DiCCS. Wait, come on, people, I’m on church property here!
Disclaimer (standard F3 stuff)
Cell phone on body (Mad Dog & YHC)
CPR certified (just me – admonishment to get certified; Short Circuit gives excuses instead of finding the closest fire department)
Site Safety (with gear, good form is vital. If you don’t know, ask; if you do know, tell [even if you aren’t asked]; you are your brother’s keeper)
Slow mosey to other side of Mt. Chiseled. Combination of Butt Kickers, High Knees, & Toy Soldiers while I tell what today’s deal entails.
Partner with someone of equal ability. You will stay with them throughout your time here.
13 stations
2 minutes each station
14 seconds to switch between stations
The Thang
For the last 2 minutes, we took the rocks back as a group to the rock pile. Then we jailbroke back to Mt. Chiseled for COT.
In the hype from last night, the Pax wanted music to go with my Q. Here is the playlist. You will notice some obvious passive-aggressive digs at the AO.
Running with the Devil – Van Halen
Love Runs Out – One Republic
Shoot to Thrill – AC/DC
The Devil Went Down to Georgia – Charlie Daniels Band
Hot for Teacher – Van Halen
Best of You – Foo Fighters
Mama Said Knock You Out – LL Cool J
When Love Comes to Town – U2 & B.B. King
Best of Both Worlds – Van Halen
Bring Me to Life – Evanesence
Freewill – Rush
Hallelujah – Panic! At the Disco
Maybe you also notice some other attempts to make nice. It’s complicated. Like all of us are. Maybe all of these songs exemplify your spiritual mindset throughout the day. I picked the songs, so of course it matches me.
Moleskine
I could hear other partners having reasonably good chatter. That’s great. I got to know my partner, Banjo, a lot better. He complained-imented a series of stations he dubbed “Murderer’s Row”. I took it as high praise. Gave me the feels.
Banjo also gets Site Q kudos. Double Doink came in as the odd man, so he stuck to the station next to us. Banjo had plenty of go to do double duty when partner work was involved with DD.
And Double D had the hardest spot of all – working without a partner. There may have been some demons he was having to fight as well. Great job, brother!
The other Site Q also earned kudos. Fuse got the equipment list out to me several days ago. Offered up his help. Arrived early to help set up all the stations, the most challenging one was to roll the tire from one side of the property to the other. Thanks to Mad Dog & Jingles for the return trip.
Once everything was put back, we exchanged feedback regarding the AO & the Q. He got that from the Site Q documentation, and that meant a lot. It told me how much he cares about the site & the Pax who work out here.
This was pretty much a duplicate of Rudy’s VQ here last week. Just put in different exercises. Thanks, Rudy!
This summer, I saw the movie “Bohemian Rhapsody” was coming in November. I knew immediately I was going to make a workout of it. Saw others across the Nation do similar tributes. They may have a great playlist, but they don’t have what I have – too much time to think about theme & choreography. Debate is still out whether it’s a curse or blessing.
Pre-Warm Up
Flash Gordon Theme (2:58)
Why no one else has thought about playing this as the Intro to a Flash workout, I’ll never know.
#ProTip – for those music-infused workouts, playing an intro song prior to the start ensures your Bluetooth connection is solid. Can also use it to set the tone for the workout.
Last line of the song is especially apropos: “Flash! Flash, I love you! But we only have 14 hours 45 minutes to save the Earth!”
Warm Up
Don’t Stop Me Now (3:29)
Mosey to just past the yellow poles and plank it up. To preserve Big10’s #ShortestMosey, we plank about 10 feet beyond his spot.
Disclaimer given that bordered on chastisement for poor decision making ability, when better AO’s (for today) exist just beyond these limits of space & time.
Various sprinter stretches as I explain we are going to race to the 3rd light pole. Stay in the same order you arrive and plank up shoulder to shoulder. That third light is a bit of a blinker, so I even left a giant cone in the middle of the sidewalk with a light on top of it. Reminded me of the Luxor.
Winner Winner Chicken Dinner belonged to Mr. Bawk Ba Gawk; (full 11 minute clip = http://www.adultswim.com/videos/the-brak-show/bawk-ba-gawk/) dude continues to get faster! Chicken Little goes to the back of the line to find his best friend/partner. #2 goes to next to last in line, & so on. There must have been a good deal of sandbagging, because I won with One Star.
Partner 1 grabs a rock while Partner 2 does SSH until everyone gets in.
Set the rock down on the sidewalk, and mosey to the side of the school. Balls to the Wall until everyone gets in.
The Thang
We Will Rock You (2:01)
3 count wall claps on the chorus; v1 = donkey kicks; v2 = Bobby Hurleys; v3 = Mike Tysons; v4 (guitar solo) = donkey kicks
Short song, but packed a quick cardio wallop here.
As I was explaining what to do prior to the song, One Star says, “If this is Bohemian Rhapsody, so help me…” Quick to pick up the theme, but not everyone’s favorites made it on to the playlist.
Hammer to Fall (3:40)
Starting from the cafeteria, make the loop to Transporter’s Office, back up the sidewalk to where our rocks/cone/Luxor light are waiting. At each light, 10 American Hammers. Some Pax struggle to get 2=1, while Zinfandel sees lights that aren’t on the route. No worries, Zin; beats the alternative.
Don’t Try Suicide (3:52)
Reunited with rocks & partners, P1 lunge walks back to yellow poles with rock overhead; P2 runs to poles and back to P1 and flapjack.
If you finish before others, do a back to back rock pass.
During one of the rounds, Zin shouts to his best friend Lt. Rubbermaid, “Let’s hurry up & get this done so we can get to the back to back thingy!” I *THINK* he was trying to be sarcastic, but his tone was too gleeful to tell.
You’re My Best Friend (3:52) & Somebody to Love (4:56)
In the parking lot, P1 runs clockwise with the rock overhead. P2 runs counterclockwise. When they meet, 10 Big Boy Situps, passing the rock back & forth with legs interlocked. Flapjack. It is #ManTouchMonday, Pax, right?
While I am Switzerland on the topic of #MTM, I do notice several Pax doth protest too much for these types of exercises. I am a stick poker, FWIW. Especially since the Pax couldn’t outright choose their best friend, I hope this provided new opportunities to explore their relationships.
Dragon Attack (4:25)
Line up at the far end of the parking lot. P1 does Imperial Triceps Walkers with the rock while P2 Bear Crawls beside him. Go the length of the parking lot, swapping at least once, up to as many times as needed. Must stay together.
As I was demonstrating the ITW, I couldn’t help feeling a bit like Freddie himself, strutting on stage at Wembly. You should try it, in private, while playing your favorite Queen song.
In an unlikely pairing, I see Doughboy & Longhorn making quick work of this. But WAAAYY out in front is Foundation / Old MacDonald. Foundation seemed to have a new found fondness for the bear; I don’t think he allowed the Respectable Farmer a turn on the asphalt. I am a bit of a matchmaker; can I introduce you to Doughboy?
Being my partner is painful enough, but to do it while I Q is the worst. One Star takes the rock first, but my hands are full with speaker & phone. I can’t bear crawl, so I just do a really hunched over walk to look like I’m doing it. I offer to swap about halfway through. He takes my stuff & runs it to the end of the parking lot where we are headed anyway. Then comes back for his real bear crawls. Don’t know why I didn’t think of that. I’m not the sharpest spoon in the knife drawer.
Stone Cold Crazy (2:21)
Facing your best friend, side shuffle with the rock down the sidewalk. At each light, do 11 squats, handing the rock back and forth at the synchronized low point of each squat. Be sure to flapjack positions to give both IT bands a boost. Put your rock back when finished.
Still trying to get these stupid rocks back to their home. How can I make this more socially awkward? #NailedIt
A couple thought that the Luxor light was a #DeadwoodTribute, with his headlamp becoming Fuse’s Towelly equivalent companion of late.
Tie Your Mother Down (3:45)
Run back to sidewalk where we did the wall work. Xerox exclaims breathlessly that NOW we’re getting to the good stuff of Queen. Really? I love the song, too, but now wonder what kind of things he does on those MFP’s. #MakingCopies
Seven Seas of Rhye (2:47)
There’s a non-symmetrical midpoint of this sidewalk that has a short piece to the building. Huge crowd, so use the partner concept to split them evenly. The faster partner goes to the longest length of sidewalk; slower partner gets shorter side. Doing 7’s. Here at the midpoint, Scorpion Dry Docks. Run backwards to the ends of the sidewalk and do Bomb Jacks.
Pax seemed to struggle only doing a 1 legged exercise at each round. Thanks to Popeye for clarifying – left leg in one round, right leg in the next round.
Have to cut this short to make sure we get back in time for the finale.
Headlong (4:33)
Back at the magical Luxor light. Best friends run together back to the parking lot. At each light, do a bropee. Bropee = face each other to do a burpee, on the jump at the end, do a jumping high five with your BF.
Saw this progression in most every pair: 1st light = awkward; 2nd light = starting to get it; 3rd light = buddy cop movie
As Pax start circling up in the parking lot, a little confusion. Some believe we’re done. Some believe we need to knock out a quick Mary before we’re done. Old MacDonald is the first to offer Freddie Mercuries while we wait for the 6. “I wouldn’t do that, if I were you.” Can’t get more foreshadowy than that.
Bicycle Race (3:01)
On your six, with feet at 45º, arms out at 45º also. When “Bicycle” or “Bike” is said, do a Freddy Mercury (2=1). Return to this banana pose while waiting. Neither feet nor arms will touch the ground during the song.
Why do 6 minutes of Mary, when you can just get on your bike & ride?!? At the midpoint, during the bike bells, I offered up Flutters to pass the time. Several took me up on it. #PassingGear Noticed others drop out of the race entirely. #FatBottomGirls
And we finish right on the minute, as Ignition runs in, as #ChampionsOfTheWorld.
Judging by the immediate comparisons to Rockwell’s Thunderstruck, this seems to have been a crowd pleaser.
Moleskin
Foundation #QWhispered me for this Flash gig with only 3 days notice. That’s easily 94 days shorter than my customary Q notification. And I don’t know how I feel about being #QWhispered to when I invented the concept. I even said no as soon as he asked. But I can’t outrun the guy. And he’s running next to me until I say yes. Short of a Big10 rollout, I’m stuck. Fine. Let’s bring out Uncle Posse’s Good Time Razz-a-ma-tazz Sweating to the Oldies Whirligig, and see what flies.
I’m not going to thank him for letting me Q, as I think we can all agree that was a poor choice from the beginning. We all just made the best of it. I forgive you. Let’s not let this happen again.
Announcements
No workouts in the WUC for Thanksgiving, so head to one of these 3 places instead of fartsacking:
Perfect time to meet up with other brothers in other regions. Strongly suggest clown car to these sites to enhance the 2nd F.
Another convergence happens this Saturday, 11/24. Commitment shuts down to converge with Outland (1409 Wesley Chapel Rd, Indian Trail, NC 28079). Start time = 0700. Even though there will only be 3 EUC’s present on Saturday, those who show are good guys. Still a great location with acres of fun.
Fuse is upset that Hooch & I are not gratuitous self-promoters for recently being on a Round Table podcast about job networking & recruiting. If you don’t regularly listen, the Round Table podcasts (typically) come out on Fridays. They cover one F3 related topic each time – wide variations. Then, on Mondays, in the same spot, there is a 43 Feet podcast. This is Dark Helmet & Dredd talking about leadership principles and culture components of F3 (which, in a leaderless group of leaders, has some fascinating underlying premises). If you use an Apple device, search for F3 Nation in the podcasts thingy. If you tend to enjoy using more brain cells with your Droid, then download the free Soundcloud app & search for F3 Nation. It will look VERY similar to this: https://soundcloud.com/f3nation
After a dangerous run-in with a toilet the previous week, Beltway’s VQ did, in fact, take place. Let’s roll!
Warm-up
That THANG
Mosey on over the back way to the green benches. Partner up.
1 partner runs the entire loop (yes, around both islands for the Pax that didn’t hear me say it the first time) while the other begins one of 3 exercises. In honor of my daughter’s 40 days at Governor’s School, we will do multiples of 40:
Side wall step ups (40 each leg). These were supposed to be bench step-overs, but apparently WHS is replacing floors and needed a place to store materials.
Donkey kicks (80)
Squats (120)
As others were finishing, Bottlecap led a group in American Hammers.
Mosey to the bridge for impromptu walking lunges. There was quite a bit of chatter behind me. Not sure what about!
Continue on to the Wall of Fame where we did:
20 of each: step ups, derkins and dips
Bear crawl to the Wall of Fame and back
10 of each: step ups, derkins and dips
Bear crawl to the Wall of Fame and back
5 of each: step ups, derkins and dips
Bear crawl…
After crystal clear instructions, we may have heard Moneyball ask about the number of each, attempting to sow seeds of discord among the Pax.
Surprisingly, Bottlecap finished first and led others in wall-sits and heels to heaven while the rest of us completed the final bear crawl.
Mosey over to the track. Locked at every gate, so we found a flat practice field for a game of Catch Me If You Can. A few disgruntled Pax mentioned their disappointment at getting their shoes wet. Partner up with someone of similar speed:
P1 Run backwards down the field /
P2 (3) burpees and then run to tag P1. Switch.
All the way down the field and back two times.
Beltway was exhausted so he asked for a 10, wait, 15 count. Big Tuna kindly obliged.
With about 12 minutes left, we moseyed over to the brick pile for some shoulder (primarily) work:
Shoulder presses (20)
Straight lift in front (not sure what this is called) (15)
Over/Behind head tricep (15)
Repeat.
Mosey back to the parking lot where Moneyball led SSHs. With about 3 minutes to go we did American Hammers and Flutters in cadence. Bottlecap and Moneyball commented on the seal-like sound coming from the Q’s lungs while counting. It’s a good thing we believe in #unoffendaballs!
Moleskin
Gentlemen, thank you for the opportunity to Q. It seemed challenging to Q from the back of the pack, but I made the best of it. Thanks to Posse for his help as Site Q.
Shampoodle, you will be greatly missed. I actually remember my second F3 workout with you and another Pax at Cuthbertson with all the different stations in the parking lot. We pray you and your family will thrive!
Announcements
I didn’t know to record or mentally note—and remember—the announcements. Gypsy did announce an opportunity to participate in some upcoming 5ks.
https://www.thepark5krun.org – Saturday June 30 | $25 | Speed for Need will be there. Need a few more #HIM’s to push Track Commanders | fighting domestic violence
http://runforyourlife.com/race/six-pack-race-series/events/american-4-miler/ – Wednesday, July 4 | $35 | Speed for Need will be there. Need Shovel Flags & tons of F3 presence to run/volunteer | to see the impact of F3/SFN, check the 1st pic on the web page
Thanks to Moneyball for taking us out and reminding us of our call to be an example to our sons and daughters.
In the late 60’s / early 70’s, a group of Stanford professors began studying delayed gratification in children by using this marshmallow test. In these studies, a child was offered a choice between one small reward provided immediately, or two small rewards if they waited for approximately 15 minutes, during which time the tester left the room and then returned. In follow-up studies years, even decades, later, the researchers found that children who were able to wait longer for the double reward tended to have better life outcomes, as measured by SAT scores, educational attainment, body mass index , and other life measures.
I like tests. I wanted to see if I could replicate this test in a workout.
Premoleskine
The last several workouts I’ve Q’ed, I saw a strange look in Pax’ eyes. Finally, BottleCap just opened up and said, “Eh, I was expecting some music, too.” Hmm. I thought I had outgrown that phase. Thought it was too childish for F3. OK, I’ll see what I can do.
Disclaimery before Tomfoolery
“Marshmallow World” Dean Martin
THE Grease Monkey shows early. As the saying goes, the early Monkey gets the Respect shirt. An outstanding man, who I wish could/would post more than once a week. F3 would be better with more Grease. He’s so excited with the shirt, he swaps right there. Looks good on him.
As I try not to watch another man undress, a third guy walks up. “Is this the place for the F3?” I smell an FNG! Gabe was told about F3 from a friend in Raleigh. He doesn’t know the dude’s F3 name. Just found us on the site and came (T-claps to Wingman for keeping the electrons in line). I try to give a pre-disclaimer, “Listen, I’m leading the workout today. This is…different…from most other workouts. Don’t judge whether to come back by what you see today.” Seems unfazed by this warning.
Song’s over but it’s only 0528. That’s because there’s a disclaimer PLUS the test structure. Those wishing to sue me, the school, or F3 were directed to watch Petey the Don’t Sue People Panda video before taking legal action.
Because I have only bad ideas set to worse music, I advised that their best choice was to take one of my fist-sized marshmallows and leave right now. No one took me up on it.
OK, if you can wait 45 minutes, you can have *2* fist-sized marshmallows when we get back. Mild interest / bemusement. Everyone is going to have to take a turn lugging around the marshmallow sandbag – a Tupperware container filled with these marshmallows. WAY more clumsy, awkward, and silly than heavy. But they bought into it. You people are idiots.
The Warm Up
“Love Runs Out” One Republic
Mosey to the front of the HS.
I don’t like to Q, but the Qdrenalin rush is intoxicating. All the soreness in my legs for the last few weeks is GONE. Why can’t I feel this good during the other workouts? Circle up for the crowd pleaser…
“Shout” Isley Brothers
Burpees on chorus
‘I still remember’ = Supermans
‘I want you to know’= Plank Jacks
‘Now wait a minute’ = Peter Parkers
‘Little bit softer now’ = Squats
‘Little bit louder now’ = Jump Squats
‘Hey Hey Hey Hey’ = Mary Catherines
‘Jump up and shout it now’ = Tuck Jumps
Transporter can sing while doing burpees. Don’t let him do his burpees any other way from now on.
The Thang
“The Bear Necessities” Disney
“I am a Gummy Bear” Gummibar
“I Wanna Be Your Teddy Bear”
Build a Bear Workshop – bear crawl up the ramp; rail walk back down; run to the other portico and bear slalom around the 3 silver columns. Do each station 3x.
Test – Does doing a hard thing while listening to bad music make the thing harder or easier? I think the Pax say easier. You can’t pay full attention to the physical pain, so there is perceived less pain.
Life Lesson: When something sucks, but still needs to get done, distract yourself just enough to keep doing the sucky thing. It’ll suck less.
Shop Dawg is singing Bear Necessities every time we cross paths.
A workout built for Doughboy, but all I remember hearing is Shake N Bake declaring his hatred for the Gummy Bear song.
While I’m on my last round, Doc & Transporter, of course, have finished first. I ask for side step ups on the benches. There are at least 5 benches around, but they choose the same bench, in sync, eyes locked on each other. Maybe these songs are aphrodisiacs?
“Band on the Run” Foo Fighters
Mosey to the end of the yellow buses.
Cheddar weave
This wasn’t in the plan. But when I realized there was no school, and my all-time favorite routine in my all-time favorite location is available, and it’s not summer, I gotta grab that cheddar flavored marshmallow.
Whoever finishes first needs to start labeling the rest of the Pax 1, 2, 1, 2. The second finisher leads the group in Heels to Heaven until the 6 come in. That’d be Doc & Transporter.
Mosey back down the sidewalk, about to the halfway mark of the buses.
“Apache – Jump On It” Sugar Hill Gang
There are horseshoes painted every few feet. 1 burpee per horseshoe. The trick, I said, is to NOT walk from 1 horseshoe to the next. I didn’t tell them to run, just to not walk. I was expecting things like bear crawling or jumping or something creative to get them from one horseshoe to the next. Nope, most everyone chose to run / jog / not walk. Simple. Effective.
Test – In the Stanford experiments, those kids who could not delay gratification were offered insight from the kids who could delay gratification. With the new techniques, the kids who initially failed now performed nearly as well as the other group. And the effects lasted for several months.
Life Lesson: Sometimes we only need a gentle reminder that a temptation / easy path is ahead. By making it a conscious pre-choice (instead of an unconscious reflexive choice), we stand a much better chance of overcoming the temptation.
As I came up for one of my burpees, I saw Jingles dance between 2 shoes that just stopped time. It was a move I only thought possible on the skating rink. Can’t describe it, other than to say I felt like I was peeking into a glade full of unicorns at sunrise. Magical.
Mosey around the corner to the tennis courts.
2 long benches the width of the tennis courts. The 1’s go to the left bench; 2’s to the right. Hop over from one side to the other along the entire length. Then go around to the other side of the court where you can find a single long bench. Merge the two lines into one and continue traversing. Total of 2 full laps. Rosalitas while we pick up the 6. Thanks to Abacus for getting my sound supplies. It’s the little things to help the Q with his timing. Shop Dawg complains that this exercise has no music. Ahhh, my friend, that’s to help you appreciate the music more when we get to the next station!
“Born to Run” Frankie Goes to Hollywood
Mosey to the wall. If you get there before me, ping pong back for the 6.
Didn’t know Goodfella wasn’t going to be here until after the playlist had been created. This one was for him. He feels this song is ear-blasphemy. It should only be sung by Springsteen. No remakes. No covers. Oh, he would have stayed right next to me just to tell me how wrong this is. T’would have been glorious.
Test – When it’s 1,000% humidity, on a longish run, from a mostly tough workout, will you go back for the 6? Sadly, not today. I was in the middle part of the group here. I failed, too. Using the excuse that I had to prep for when to start the next round.
Life Lesson: At a loss here. No one’s perfect, I guess? Aim to do better next time?
“Off the Wall” Michael Jackson
Series of wall-based exercises during the song. Air presses / jabs; donkey kicks; 6 count wall walking merkin; Mike Tysons; Bobby Hurleys.
I’ve been trying to give less complicated verbal instructions by sometimes walking the Pax through a “sampler platter” of what the next station really involves. I thought this was one of those times. So we only did about 5 reps of the Mike Tysons & the Wall Merkins pre-song, just to make sure we were straight on terminology. This ended up taking way longer than it should have, and it ate into what was coming up next.
And I struggled on this one. This one’s coming off the playlist for something better. And it has nothing to do with Das Boot & Doc swaying to the music when we were doing air presses. But I still can’t unsee that.
Test – When you’re in the middle of something sucking, what’s your reaction? Among those I saw were: determination to finish; stopping & looking to see if the Q was still going; having fun while continuing.
Life Lesson: Like most things, there is no right answer. A deeper question may be, are you satisfied with your reaction? By looking around, you may realize you convinced yourself there was only one reaction, which was yours. By seeing another reaction from someone you respect, you realize there is a choice to be made, even if you didn’t realize a choice was available at all.
“Get Up” Van Halen
Mosey to the sidewalk between the cafeteria & the track. American Hammers while everyone gets in. Along the way, Sidewalky McShortCut, assuming to be the only one on campus, decides to see how fast they can speed down the sidewalk in a Corolla. “Car up!” never quite had that trill of urgency before. We all slide to the right, Corolla slides to the left, looking dangerously close to rolling over, but never slowing down. I’m grateful this happened in full daylight; pretty scared how this could have fared during the winter months. May need a mid-workout disclaimer: “Watch out for the car driving on the sidewalk, but they are not included in our litigation exclusion list.”
“2 Legit 2 Quit”M.C. Hammer
All the other stuff was leading up to this. Now, I can see the Cheddar Weave and the Sampler Platter took up too much time to fit this piece in its entirety. So, I won’t give away the whole structure; that will have to wait for another time.
Flutters to Failure – using PERFECT FORM (legs straight, toes pointed [as if you were actually swimming]), continue fluttering until you either pause, legs hit the ground, etc. Once done, run to the first light pole along the track and back. You can point out bad form in others.
Test – When given the chance to last longer than your competitors by cheating on your own, what will you do? First of all, many of you need to talk to your doctors about proprioception deficit. Most of you had knees bent, toes bent – it was embarrassing to see that in daylight. Being next to Transporter & Doc, I was shocked at the amount of cheating they did to try to outlast each other. I weep for our region.
Life Lesson: The male ego is a fragile thing. Those who have done well in a certain area can be tempted to cheat to maintain the illusion of mastery. The opposite is also true. Those who have not done well in a certain area can be tempted to give up too early to reinforce their mindset of amateurism. Those in the middle, ironically, can be the ones most likely to realistically assess their own abilities. So being in the middle can bring a lens of clarity that others may lack, depending on where they are viewing the same circumstances.
Mosey back to start. Arrive 1 minute late.
As people circle up for COT, I pass around the hand sanitizer. Why people are freaked out about that, I can’t figure out. If you’d rather eat your marshmallows with filthy hands, that’s on you, but hasn’t your Mom ever taught you about cross-contamination? It’s been an eye opening Q, folks. Behind the sanitizer, the marshmallows get passed around. Doc mentions that if one of them has a different flavor, that is probably his when he had a turn carrying the tub. Several are taking a hard pass on the marshmallows. Do you think this is another test? Yeah, I could make a case for it, but I won’t. I was expecting most Pax to do Name-a-Rama with the giant marshmallows halfway down their gullets à la Chubby Bunny. We appear to be too sophisticated for such adolescence. I cry inside again.
Name the FNG – Gabe works in lighting, but Transporter remarked at how well he did on the rail walk during Build a Bear. Somehow that got shifted into Pole Dancer. I love the name; just wish I had a better story for the guy.
Let’s bring it in.
CORPORATE AUDIT
Assuming Doc was still upset at not winning Flutters to Failure with bad form, he cites Dromedary with bad COT form. Says that we should be in more Ball of Man formation instead of a circle. In the absence of any current or former Dromedary Site Q’s to question the policy change, the Pax comply into a standing BoM.
I am simultaneously an obsessively compulsive, contrarian, and secessionist Sandlapper. So when this affront to our geometric way of life occurred, I went off the rails. I invoked the clause that we don’t have to close up shop with a prayer. Because we are not a Christian organization, no one is obligated to pray us out. So I used the time instead to tell ’em about my
MOLESKINE
Gave the Pax the details of the Marshmallow test. In life, we are always tempted to take the quick 1 marshmallow reward. Getting to the 2nd marshmallow always takes time, effort, and being uncomfortable while doing it. But I notice the 2nd marshmallow isn’t just twice as good as the first; it’s a whole different level and type of reward. For example:
+ setting the phone down to engage with your family
+ stopping the porn to have a meaningful relationship with your wife
+ not goofing off at work to do what you’re paid to do
To summarize:
Announcements:
Pool Party to raise funds for #Sandbox
Friday, June 8, 7:30 – 10:00 PM
Lawson Pool 2306 Lawson Dr, Waxhaw, NC 28173
$40 / family (payable on site or in advance at https://www.paypal.me/f3sob)
https://bit.do/f3sandbox to RSVP (so they can get a count of pizza and beer)
Sanctuary begins a new book about the parables of Jesus
Monday nights – Brooklyn Pizza in Wesley Chapel
Had to start the disclaimer at 6:28 because I had a lot to say and didn’t want to have it cut into the solid run time. When I got to the legal portion of the disclaimer, they seemed confused when I used the juris jargon of douchbagery and ass-clownery. I can tell because they kept bringing it up throughout the workout. Mostly used in the wrong context and naming me as the object and/or propagator of such terms.
Warm Up & The Thang
| Run to | While Waiting for the 6 to Arrive | Exercise | While Waiting for the 6 to Finish | Comments |
| Bus parking lot | ———— | High Knees Butt Kickers |
———– | Once I said Butt Kickers, some immediately asked for A Skips & B Skips. Sorry, you only find those Prancing Unicorn warm ups at places like Pursuit. |
| Student parking lot | ———— | Karaoke L / R Side Straddles L / R |
Peter Parker | Gave Pax 3 options to get from student parking lot to behind the school, based on total distance. This seemed like a good way to keep the Pax together; different Pax with different speeds take different paths to get to the same spot in relative synchrony. I took the shortest route. Suggested Bottlecap and his kind take the longest option. This took way longer than I thought for the long way group. For a minute, it felt like they started Coffeeteria early. |
| Blue handrails | Supines | Loop with squats x5 | Parallel Supines | 1 squat at 3 of the corners in each loop. One corner was a spot 50 feet from where we work all around, but never saw any work done there before. #UndiscoveredCountry #Deflowered |
| ———— | ———— | Lunge walk across bridge Backwards run uphill to flags |
Air presses against concession stand | Recalculating can run faster backwards than forwards. There’s a joke in there, but I’m too bemused to come up with one. |
| Center of practice field | Starfish Burpee | Side Straddle Hops |
Moneyball screams as we head toward the field. We get there as a group, so no plank jacks. Don’t know what to make of that. So I push the plank jacks for fast finishers. Bottlecap plants the refusnik shovel flag by doing Side Straddle Hops instead. |
|
| Trail run to Elementary School gate | Drop it like its hot (fence squat) | SSH Suicides | LBC’s |
Something must have happened to the Pax at the Floater on Thursday. They have that look in their eye that IED’s have been implanted into their shoulders. One shoulder heavy exercise, and it’s over. Who could have done such a thing? Glad I never go there.
But their anti-shoulder choice feels more like an inFRACKtion has spread within the Pax. I felt like I was on the wrong side of history as early finishers chose to have a crunch in, or LBC-in. The silent protest was deeply moving. |
| Bus parking lot | ———— | Bus-i-cides | Stand & Stare “Pass on Grass!” |
Rockwell’s Clock Merkins would have been perfect here. Another refusal. Now Moneyball is invoking his credo – Pass on Grass. Saying it loud & defiantly. It emboldens the others. My feelings are starting to get butthurt. I’m too tired to think of anything else. I’m so locked into this plan & I feel like I emptied the Exicon on this one. I suppose if they are staring, then maybe they are a scoonch tired, too? |
| Manhole cover | Dips | Bobby Hurley / Step Overs | Staying pretty tight as a group. Some are confused between a manhole cover and a drain. Damascus begins to tell us everything he’s learned about manholes, but we gotta get going. Starting to get a little behind schedule. | |
| Blue handicap spots | Rosalitas | 4 Corner Mountain Climbers | Amy Grants (J. Lo’s) | Mad Dog finds his second wind here, running way out front with authority to the next location! |
| ———— | ———— | Up Middle School road | Imperial Walkers EITHER: + at every light pole AND sign + at every light pole OR sign + at end |
Monkey Humpers | By ignoring Moneyball’s request for A / B skips earlier, he retaliates with Imperial Walkers plus kick-ball-change. There may have been jazz hands, but the sun was in my eyes (or his bedazzled toboggan was catching the rays just right).
Pax are now frolicing with their Monkey Humpers, keeping it all nice & adolescent, until someone mentions Human Centipede Monkey Humpers. Ew. That got dark real quick. We’ve been out here too long. These boys aren’t used to being so far from the high school. Let’s get them back home. |
| Gate | Dying Cockroach | 5 Tree suicide | Open / Close gates | This was the first time I remember having the open & closed gates as an exercise. Most guys do it warming up, so I thought it wouldn’t be that big a deal. But judging by most Pax’s execution of said exercises, you would have thought I gave each one a bottle of lotion and told them to go explore their bodies. I think they doth protest too much for Man Touch Mondays. | |
| Watchtower parking lot via trail run | Bearwalk | Crabwalk | Duckwalk to other end (any combo) |
Sprint to pedestrian crossing | Poor directions here led to the group getting spread out too much. We got to the light right at 7:30, but BC & MB had soccer games to catch & had to leave on the minute. For those who could stay, they emptied their tanks on the final lap. Especially impressed with how Fusebox had plenty to pass me on Turn 2. |
Moleskin Realizations
Moleskin
Spicoli takes the prize for best FNG story. He first meets Transporter because Trans wants to rent Spic’s conversion van for the P200 race. Couple days later, they find each other at the same church. They’ve only known each other for about a month. Spicoli’s from Southern California. The Fast Times reference is completely lost on Transporter, having never even heard of the movie. Even StubHub looked over at him and said, “Seriously, dude?” Other nuances that let me know this was a perfect name – he arrives the day after 4/20; he’s almost the same age as Sean Penn.
Announcements
Lawson Vendor Fair is tomorrow, I mean, last week. It will bring out at least 3 FNG’s, I guarantee it. #MoreThanACraftFair
12 Pax relive my Mardi Gras night on Bourbon Street back in college
Having listened to F3 Roundtable discussion about the importance of a disclaimer, I decided to make sure that we got fully disclaimed before we even took the first step. Unfortunately, Delta decided to walk away as I was giving the disclaimer. And then somebody else skidding in on two wheels never heard it (no, that wasn’t me at the last minute; I’m never more than 10 minutes late for my own Q’s). So to prevent any lawsuits from those two for today’s ass-clownery, here is the disclaimer:
“I am not a professional, and that’s probably the nicest thing anyone’s ever said about me. You are an idiot if you follow me. I have a series of bad ideas that get worse as we go along. You should modify these so called exercises in whatever fashion you choose of your own free will, up to and including getting in your car and going home right now. Suing me, the school, or F3 is the highest form of douchebaggery and ass-hattery there is, and you will not be my friend anymore if you do.
With a shout of the start of Mardi Gras, I ran off in a completely straight line to get us started. Those behind me claim that I was running across curbs and in the grass, but I think they were drunk. Fusebox asked “Posse, am I supposed to be following right behind you?” Seemed like an odd question.
I stopped to catch my breath at the end of the parking lot. That was a lot longer than I expected. I feel like I ran a mile just now, while everyone else is barely at the quarter mile. Are we done yet?
We continue to the small bus parking lot where I kind of got turned around and didn’t quite remember where I was supposed to be going. We ended up at the green benches under the portico. There I led some side straddle hops, but my speech was a little slurry, so they didn’t quite understand me. I think I talked about my childhood dog, Smush.
Guys guys guys! I got a great idea! Let’s go grab a rock! Curls x20
Okay I got an even better idea! Let’s take this rock and run to the W on the far side of the parking lot! We’ll go in a straight line, which means go around the outside parking lot loop. Once there, we did flutter presses with the rock (on your back doing bench presses while doing flutters simultaneously) until everyone got in. Great drunk simulator, BTW. Then set the rock down in space 318 and let’s side skip down to the rock pile closer to the highway.
Grab a rock from the rock pile. This time curl to press x 20.
Guys I got a better idea! Let’s run back to that other corner that we were just at and do Dolly presses until everyone gets in. Set the rocks down at spot 243.
This place sucks.
Backwards run to the ORIGINAL rock pile and do mountain climbers until everyone gets in.
Grab a rock from the rock pile – this time we’ll do bent over rows x20.
Hey guys! Let’s run back to the other rock pile with this rock. I think the band’s about to get started. Triceps until everyone gets in.
Set the rock down on spot 30.
Grab another rock. This time halos: 6 in one direction and 6 in the other.
Hey guys, let’s take these rocks back to where we just were on the other side of the rock pile. I like the bartender better over there anyway. Thrusters until everyone gets in.
Set your rock down on space 80. Let’s Mosey.
We mosey to the middle of the parking lot where we plank up, because I lost a contact. Nobody bothered to help me. Bastards.
Then I realized Mom and Dad are going to be home soon. Guys! This place is a mess! We got to get all these rocks cleaned up before Mom and Dad get home! Let’s go! So everyone scattered to the farthest corners of the parking lot, grabbing rocks and bringing them back to the rock pile – EXACTLY where we got them from. For the girls who brought their rocks out, we could take two at a time.
Run Flat led some LBC’s until everyone got in.
So with the bars closed, we decided to take to the streets to earn some beads. Mosey to the portico again where I explained:
B = burpees. We will do 5 at this side of the bus island; run to the other side 5 more burpees; repeat for a total of 40 burpees (the 40 days of Lent)
E = Emperial Walkers 10 on each side of the island until you get to 40.
A = American Hammers. 15 on each side of the island until you get to 40.
Hollywood, who I think works in some math related field, said that’s 60, not 40. It was 40 last night when I was drawing this up.
D = dips. Do 20 on the bench; run the entire loop and then do 20 more and then run another loop
S = squats do 40 squats all in the same spot.
During this time, Old Man Stickleg drove up asking who we were. Beltway was flying solo at this part. I don’t know what Beltway told him to keep him from calling the cops on us, but it worked. You want him for your wingman.
I think only Hollywood outright earned his beads. The rest cut it short because math kills a good buzz.
Mosey back to the cars.
Announcements:
+ Madison’s CPR class is closed. I sure hope you people know how to bring me back to life without using that Flatliners crap.
+ Brolympics – Do you even, bro? Participate or volunteer. There is no fartsacking. Ranger has a soccer game immediately afterwards, 1 mile away. Still volunteering. Bro’s in IR are volunteering (I see you, McFly). It’s our home people. Tuxedo shirts are optional, but classy.
https://f3southcharlotte.com/2018/01/11/2018-brolympics-2-bro/
Moleskin
Frack would have been proud – no warm up and announcements lasted no longer than a quality burp.
Hollywood seemed surprised that we got 3 miles in. Well, for you #StraightMilers, it was 3. I easily clocked 27.
DoughBoy said it was like controlled chaos. I assure you, I blacked out about halfway through. You must have been at a different workout than me.
The name-a-rama was filmed in a slightly more sophomoric selfie-style. It gave me a chance to tell the guys how much I loved them (and some of their sisters). In no way should that video ever see the light of day.
The Fort Mill Pax created a 5K Relay CSAUP a couple years ago that was a rousing success. In the inaugural year, BTW, it was won by SOB/UC men.
The Rock Hill Pax saw this, and raised it up to a marathon relay, dubbing it The Rooster (there’s probably a story in the here, but your imagination may work just as well). 26.2 miles of suck, spread over 5 Pax.
Partner 1 = Miles 1, 6, 11, 16, 21 = Jingles
Partner 2 = Miles 2, 7, 12, 17, 22 = Old MacDonald
Partner 3 = Miles 3, 8, 13, 18, 23 = Posse
Partner 4 = Miles 4, 9, 14, 19, 24 = Ranger
Partner 5 = Miles 5, 10, 15, 20, 25 = Land Shark
Wait – who does Mile 26 (& 0.2)? The whole group runs together.
So each person will run 6 miles; just not all at once. It is basically the Joe Davis 10K from 2 weeks ago, spread out over several hours.
Sounds pretty awesome, right? I know!
The Warm Up
Meet at Indian Land Elementary to clown car to Winthrop Coliseum.
Let me pause to equate clown car’ing as the secret 2nd F. YHC clown car’ed on Friday, Saturday morning, & Saturday afternoon – a total of 10 other Pax spread across 3 rides. Each conversation was rich and diverse. Not being all that much of a talker in person, I tend to shy away from the clown car. I worry about the Car Ride of Silence. It has proven itself time and again to be a false fear. The boys on Screech Owl do love them some clown car’ing; they are my shining beacon of another street. There are some other pairings out there (Longhorn & Hooch, Deflated & Foundation), but I don’t know of trips & quads like Screech Owl. If you haven’t done it (or done it in a while), time to step into that other man’s car.
Anyhoo…
The warm up continued with bringing our gear out to a pre-dawn field in Rock Hill. Then offering to help set up pop-up tents of other teams who thought about bringing fire pits or gas heaters. It was everyone’s first rodeo, but some were MUCH more experienced than others.
The Thang
Prior to the start, Rock Hill’s Popeye gave a few words. RH Popeye’s day job is Public Relations Officer for either RHPD or York County Sherriff’s. So when the 4 officers were shot last week (with the YCSD officer dying from his wounds a few days ago), it was Popeye in the public eye across all media. He had a range of emotions in those few minutes, and rightfully so. Relief at being able to unplug from that strain for a little while as he surrounds himself with a different group of brothers. Regret at not being able to see his fallen comrade again, missing his hugs and his good works. Reaffirmation that he and all past and future law enforcement officers would literally take a bullet for you. For me. For anyone else in harm’s way. It was a humbling reminder of what kind of life and death choices others make so I can go about my day in my own little bubble.
Dawn breaks on a beautiful open field with a lake that we will be circling. The path is all paved. It is 28°. Jingles and I are ecstatic, because that makes it 20° warmer than when we ran the Joe Davis a couple weeks earlier.
Jingles runs the first mile and brings back intel that the loop isn’t actually 1 mile. It’s 1.3 miles. OM confirms this. At this point, these 2 begin Beautiful Minding / NASCAR Crew Chiefing the ramifications of such news. OM starts with taking our individual lap times and doing some kind of New Age Math on figuring out our actual mile times. Jingles figures out we won’t have to do all 5 laps apiece to get to 26.2; that we’ll get to it much sooner. This realization comes to all the teams at one point or another. I’m certain we were first in realization & calculations (hence the title).
When it was all done, we ended up doing 31 miles in a total time of 3 hours 25 minutes. I went to school in South Carolina, so if there’s any mathematical disparity in what I just wrote, I don’t want to hear about it.
Frosty Moleskin
Ranger (my 2.0) learned several things. He learned that running with someone makes everything better. On his second lap, he just happened to start with Dr. Suess. Don’t know what region he’s from, but they had a full conversation at a 7:30 pace(?!?). It was over before he knew it, but those few minutes was all it took for him to learn that life lesson. They were never able to synch up again on future laps. Ranger also didn’t see Dr. Suess when it was time to leave. Another life lesson – tell those you meet how much they matter to you RIGHT THEN, even if it’s only for a short time. And a bonus lesson for those of you reading – you never know how much of an impact you will make to someone. Double bonus – those moments of impact, may be just that – moments.
Ranger suffers from the same mindless eating that his father does. Ate too much between laps 2 & 3, so laps 3 on didn’t treat him well. However, when his time came, he would step up for his leg of the run. When he wanted to walk one of the later laps, he asked Land Shark if they could run together. Clearly an upgrade from what I would have done, even a year ago. I would have run during the part when my crew could see me, then walk the rest of the hidden way. Ranger chooses to #shieldlock with someone faster. Someone who will pull more out of him. If I were in his shoes, I would have run with someone much slower, so I would not have to expect so much out of myself.
I became Captain Obvious to him in the car afterwards. “When you come up against adversity, will you choose to saddle up with someone who will push you to your full measure, or will you look for someone who will encourage you to take the easy, mediocre, least effort, least growth way?” The intellectual answer seems obvious, but making the courageous choice has been difficult for me. I do find that I am making the hard choice more often, with less friction, since joining F3.
Jingles has a lion heart. He tweaked his knee playing with his boys during Snowmageddon this week. He didn’t say anything until the convergence on Friday. I think he only said something to explain why he may be a little slower than expected. There was never a doubt to him that he wouldn’t be out there come Saturday morning. With each lap, the pain continued to grow. Determined to do his laps, but worried about the time, he asked Old MacDonald to partner with him (see above life lessons). At the end of the event, visibly limping, he admitted that he had 2 Aleve in his pocket the whole time. But he didn’t want to take them to mask the pain, so as to not make a tweak potentially turn into something worse (hopefully I didn’t violate some HIPPA thing just now; hopefully the disclaimer about not suing me also covers medical). Sound, practical thinking. As for me, I’m allergic to pain. I would have downed whatever I could have to numb the pain. With that many days to think about the pain, I would have likely tapped out or looked for a replacement. Jingles, you continue to reveal more of your heart with each race I run with you. Thanks for sharing.
Land Shark was the first to join the team. Spurred by a desire to make the IL track team this spring, he thought this would be great conditioning / testing grounds. He will be judged by his mile time, so why not test it 5 or 6 times in a day? Find someone to chase down. Find your stride. Find your breath. Find your rhythm. He was put on the anchor leg because this would be the person who would have to run the final lap, then immediately go right back out there to run again with the whole group. And the other 4 would have a break not afforded to the 5th. He accepted it without hesitation or argument. If you’ve been in the workouts with him, he’s the epitome of “less talk, more work”. But he did speak up quite a bit during the CSAUP. And it was all positive encouragement. He’s a lifter. You want this one on your team. I’m calling dibs for the next set of partner work.
Old MacDonald. At first, he was willing to let LS run this thing as the only member of the MacDonald family. But it only took a few hours to realize that this would be a great bonding experience with his son. If you’ve never heard this before, Steven Covey talks about being an effective parent means spending time not just as a family, but spending time as one parent : one child. Have a special time / event / phrase that only the 2 of you share. Each one learns their own uniqueness, which gives them the confidence to express their uniqueness when the group needs that gift. Solid work, Mac. I also learned that he is an exceptional planner. Once we got the group together, I should have just handed off the controls to Old M. It took me to the last minute to get the info out to the group. He also is much better with names than I am. I called our group “O.G.’s & Upgrades”, but he had a string of alternates. My favorites: “3+Two.0”. “Generation Gap”, “We Thought This Was a 5K”, and my winner, “The Young & the Rest of Us”. He is also to blame for this backblast. I had no intention of doing one (why start now?), but he slid a compliment with an assumptive close so fast, I didn’t realize I just said yes to writing this up. Not that this should have been kept secret, but it’s taken longer to write this up that it did to run the marathon. Still, you all deserve to know the kind of people you run around with. If there’s someone you should run around with more, it’s this guy.
Did I learn anything about myself? Sure.
I’m close enough to breaking the 9:00 minute mile that it makes me want to start working on that.
I’m hard on my son until I write up something like this to realize he’s making better decisions than I did at that age. It’s a harder time, yet he’s handling it better.
I’m surrounded by so many great people everywhere I go now. It’s so pervasive that my thinking is shifting away from “I don’t belong here” to “where do I fit?” It excites and scares me.
I gotta write shorter backblasts if I ever want to see my family again.