Monthly Archive June 2025

Thank heavens for a clown car

Date: 2025-06-07 AO: _sob Q: Brisket PAX: Cheese Curd, Moth, shrinkwrap FNGs: None COUNT: 4 WARMUP: complain about the heat. Comment about the lack of pax…. Clock struck 6 and we moved
Head to the astroturf field and warm up.
THE THANG: run to the lake hill for partner work. 3 round with p1 taking a lap and P2 going to the top of the hill for 5 exercise and at the bottom for 5. Different exercise each round
Head to the corp park lake loop and do 2 exercises at each patio/ benches
Head back to the astroturf for for some bear crawl/ crawl bear
to rock pile for exercise at the entrance of the workout trail… 2 rounds
Rock work… one rock was clearly lighter than the other
MARY: we saw her, we took turns in the end!
ANNOUNCEMENTS: nothing
COT: Moth with the take out.
The clown car is strong with these guys. Glad Cheese Curd showed up and he was glad we showed up
Lots of mumble chatter, some in Spanish- moth
Shrimp wrap may have welcomed is new name.
Nobody pre ran except for cheese curd. Nobody stuck around doe bagels.

The Da Vinci Traveling Circus of Pain

Date: 2025-06-07 AO: davinci Q: midriff PAX: taggart, Franky, teddyf3, Roulette, Odd Job, F3 Elsa, kirby FNGs: None COUNT: 8 This morning, we transformed the Blakeney medical park into a carnival of chaos. YHC took a page out of the flipper playbook and SweetWater’s Thursday Q and brought out plenty of toys for a low-mileage, high-intensity and hilarious circus act workout. We lifted, we laughed, we sweat like it was our full-time job – and we did it all with questionable grace.
The Greatest Show on Earth (or at least South Charlotte) – Each pax grabs a toy and walk over to the medical park across the street. Toys included: 60# sandbag, 20# dumbbells, 40# concrete block, large white log (don’t ask), 10# plates, 25# medicine ball and pogo stick (all-time great garage sale find). – Act 1: 6/8 pax grab a toy while 1 pax planks and 1 pax walks/runs as the timer. Rotate between sandbag cleans, dumbbell curls, concrete block rows, goblet squats with log, hairburners/bearcrawls with weighted plates and BB situps with medicine ball. – Repeato, then carry our toys to Elevation Church for Act 2: where we slightly modified a few exercises and threw in some Spiderman merkins for Rousey. Wherever you are brother, come back soon. – Act 3: Carry back to launch, stopping for forward squats, shoulder press and bent over rows while waiting to cross the intersection. Local South Charlotte residents must have picked up on our stupidity, as we were circled by many clown cars to end the workout.
Highlights from the Circus – Pre-workout entertainment came courtesy of Odd Job who tried to tame a pogo stick before the workout even began. Circus vibes: nailed. – We renamed taggart to Bernie’s for his dark shades and slow-motion pace during Act 1. It was a scene straight out of Weekend at Bernie’s. Fetch this man a tropical drink!!! – Franky joining in the warmup count with German and Croatian really sent us into a tailspin quickly. – Sandbag of Doom: This monstrosity felt more like carrying a small bear. It was sweaty, it was painful, it was perfect. – ICP Banter: Somewhere between the merkins and medicine balls, we dove deep into the philosophical works of Insane Clown Posse. Next time I may even wear face paint to complete the costume, per Roulette’s suggestion. I learned about juggalos and horrorcore. I’m still deciding if I want to delve deeper into the genre of trailer park hiphop and rap rock. – kirby’s Weird Fixations: First, he rebranded medicine balls as “slam balls.” Then he fell in love with the big white log. Not judging, just… concerned. – teddyf3’s Tactical Fart Bomb: YHC got crop-dusted during LBC’s in a revenge move so legendary it will be whispered for generations. You may have won the battle but the war has only just begun – Roulette’s Tesla TED Talk: If you didn’t hear about his car, were you even at the workout? The rest of us peasants move about in our budget wagons, dreaming of a better life. – Dueling Family Photo: We pulled off maybe the first simultaneous family photo in SOB history, creating a new rift in the time/space continuum. I’m still trying to figure out how Odd Job managed to be facing both camera simultaneously.
The circus ended with a melting inferno of humidity, a sunrise straight out of a Bob Ross painting, and a reminder that we might be idiots, but at least we’re idiots together. As Roulette reminded us: it’s always a great day to make bad decisions with good friends. T-claps to everyone who joined the circus this morning — you made it one for the books.
:circus_tent: :muscle: :tada:

A Disgusting Abomination

Date: 2025-06-07 AO: chicken-run Q: tuck PAX: soft_pretzel, Polly, rock_thrill FNGs: None COUNT: 4 The weather this morning can best be described as a disgusting abomination. By the end of the run there was no moisture or electrolytes left in our bodies. soft_pretzel looked like Norman Bates’ mummified mother in Psycho. rock_thrill looked like present day Keith Richards. YHC looked like Estelle from The Golden Girls circa 1992. I did not see Polly at the end because he finished about 2 hours before the rest of us but I assume he looked pretty good. Maybe like Blanche from The Golden Girls in the Spring of ‘86. I should mention that midriff joined us for a few miles before he Q’d da Vinci. Since he left before the heat really took its toll he was looking REALLY good. Think Pulp Fiction Ving Rhames meets 2033 Timothee Chalemet where he stars in an all white remake of Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes to Jail.
This morning’s course was aptly titled “Funky Cold Medinah” due to the fact that we ran on… wait for it… Medinah Court. When the unsuspecting residents of this quiet cul de sac in Firethorne built their estates years ago, little did they know that years later, I would use their street in a lightly attended running workout strictly for the purpose of mediocre word play. Well, they still don’t know. But can you imagine if they did?
Of course one only recognizes the word play if one is familiar with Tone Loc’s 1989 hit “Funky Cold Medina”, which itself is a play on words referencing cold medicine, referring to a fictional drink with love potion-like qualities. So basically, date rape. I would like to mention that we here at Chicken Run Industries are thoroughly anti-rape in all its forms. If you were going to listen to a song about date rape I would point you to “Date Rape” off of Sublime’s 1992 album “40oz To Freedom” which tells the tale of a would-be rapist that gets caught and later gets raped himself in jail. Which leads me to the question, how many times is too many times to say the word rape in a Slackblast? :thinking_face: Anyway, our sweet boy midriff had never heard of Tone Loc OR Funky Cold Medina so I played him all of Tone Loc’s hits at coffeeteria, a list that includes 2 songs: Funky Cold Medina and Wild Thing, both co-written by Young MC incidentally. soft_pretzel and I agreed that these 2 songs are basically the same song, except that it one he says “Wild Thaang”.
In conclusion, it was hot, rape is bad, and midriff now knows slightly more about late 80’s hip-hop.

Dos Hombres Ganando

Date: 2025-06-07 AO: olympus Q: Krzyzewski PAX: Toto FNGs: None COUNT: 2 YHC imagines somewhere in some sort of leadership training class, they teach you to expect the unexpected and be ready to adapt. This morning was one of those mornings. If the early bird gets the worm, then Calvary parking attendants must enjoy a whole lot of worms. With the annual car show set to take place later today, MARTA and YHC were iced out from our usual stomping grounds by these early risers and pushed a few aisles over…until we were told to move again. Accordingly, The Rock and Olympus setup at satellite locations for beatdowns set upon the backdrop of one of those humid summer mornings where you wake up and step outside into an armpit. Muggy. While the vast majority of Olympus regulars were DR, Toto somehow found YHC in the melee and we posted up for a delightful morning of punishment. Toto graciously humored YHC’s nonsense in this off-the-menu week of freestyling. But as Toto quipped, KB workouts are a lot like eating Mexican food…it’s the same couple of ingredients just packaged slightly differently. Are nachos so different from tostadas? YHC submits they are not. Nevertheless, we hit the major food groups on this one for a balanced pump. Let’s get into the recap… WARMUP: Swings (10x), prying squats, hi-pulls (5x e/s), synovial circles, one-handed swings (5x e/s), slingshots (7x e/w) THE THANG: 1) Pyramid of Snatches and Such – A: Snatches (2x e/s); heavy swings (15x); lawnmower rows (6 e/s) – B: Same as above, but add 2x snatches e/s – C: Same as above, but add 2x more snatches e/s – D: Repeato B – E: Repeato A 2) Palate Cleanser – Alternating 1-handed swings (20x) 3) Clean & Press & Park Complex (EMO2M; 8 mins) – Clean – L; clean – R; press – R; park bell; swing squats (5x); merkins (5x) – Clean – R; clean – L; press – L; park bell; swing squats (5x); merkins (5x) 4) Random Set (Modified Due to Time) – Reverse lunges (5x e/s) – Halos (5x e/w) 5) Squats-o-Rama (2 sets) – Curb-to-curb suitcase…goblet squats (10x) – Curb-to-curb suitcase…front squats (4x e/s) – Curb-to-curb suitcase…transformer squats (3x e/s) – Curb-to-curb suitcase…OH squats (2x e/s) MARY: Enough time for static holds one time through each arm ANNOUNCEMENTS: – :tada: Happy Birthday, MARTA! – :drop_of_blood:Blood drive on 6/20 (see Slack) – :camping: F3 Dad Camp @ Lake Wylie from 8/15-8/17 (see Mountain Momma’s post on Slack) – Obscure German philosophy quote of the day…”We are always living in expectation of better things, at the same time we often repent and long to have the past back again. We look upon the present as something to be put up with while it lasts, and serving only as the way towards our goal. Hence most people, if they glance back when they come to the end life, will find that all along they have been living ad interim: they will be surprised to find the very thing they disregarded and let slip by unenjoyed was just their life – that is to say, it was the very thing in the expectation of which they lived. Of how many a man may it not be said that hope made a fool of him until he danced into the arms of death!” – Schopenhauer
COT: Joined the pax of The Rock and MARTA took out the joint groups

Kind of a workout

Date: 2025-06-07 AO: the-rock Q: MARTA PAX: Snuka, Alf, geraldo, Circuit City, jet_fuel, MARTA, limey FNGs: None COUNT: 7 MUMBLECHATTER: The q was a shit show today. Site Qs failed to mention there was a car show today and we had to relocate to the 51 entrance. Some guy with a superiority complex had to swing his and look tough.. That took 5 minutes off my lead (side bar a hojco automotive rebuilt xTerra was not invited.. their loss). Despite premature heckles, Hops was no where to be found – he would have survived this work out. Alf confirmed that this was an easy one and more of a social endeavor. I would have appreciated better weather from @tuna.. it was nice that it rained last night and cleared out the humility.
Nonetheless, YHC persisted through the humidity and shin splints to.lead a social workout. Apparently there is some rye candy that you should look for on 51 every morning. Ask those who know. Otherwise, the chatter was limited to weekend grad parties and the like. Next year the workout will be harder but I wouldn’t bet on it. Pushing a car this year would have made the workout… alas
THE Thang: Change of pla s and launch from 51. This added a half.mile to the workout plan.
Mosey to library parking lot
The Thang Grinders x3 Push-ups and squats Drydogs and lunges Lbcs and flutters
Forgot the warmup 15 x ssh 15 x iw 10 lss
Mosey to rock pile – lifting rock 8x thruster 8x press 8x curls and triceps X3
Mosey to hot box Triple nickel Merkins and lbc
8 Step ups 8 each leg 8 Lunges each leg 8 Dips each arm X3 3x merkin monster
Mosey to launch for burpee train to 38… this was surprisingly hard to grasp for the pax.
Announcements: Blood drive. I’m in. October brew ruck? Limey is in.
COT Guatemala crew leaves next weekend Yhc takes us out

Slow and Steady

Date: 2025-06-06 AO: scars Q: F3 Elsa PAX: taggart, kirby, Pepsi FNGs: None COUNT: Cuatro WARMUP: Extra lap around the parking lot in case of any late arrivals Roulette THE THANG: Turned out to be an amazing morning so we saved the garage beatdown for another time. Q set out a little too fast paced to start so slowed it way down to enjoy the weather. Standard loop through the bowl, tunnel of love, and a quick mosey across 485. Checked out the new Wegmans construction and lamented the loss of the back 9. Did spot some interesting new tunnels being built – possibly for golf carts, sewer snapping turtles of similar size, or plain old rodents of unusual size. Zero trolls spotted. MARY: ‘Core’ workouts with cadence pointers from kirby. Honestly I thought this was a good way to wrap a ruck, may make another date with Mary next time I Q. ANNOUNCEMENTS: Car show at Calvary church tomorrow after Da Vinci – be there or be boring.

Swept Away

Date: 2025-06-06 AO: mountain-goat Q: Insomniac PAX: kilowatt, Insomniac, fleetwood, Spammer, Benny, mallcop, retread, Pele, wildturkey, beaver FNGs: None COUNT: 10 WARMUP: Run to Windswept. Apparently running in a straight line down 51 was too complex for Benny, so unfortunately we lost him on the way. Spammer tore his spleen during his pre run; I hope Mr. Overachiever learned a lesson there. THE THANG: 30-30-1’s in the 4 cul-de-sacs of Windswept hood. The intense humidity kept our lungs nice and moist the whole time. The Q struggled valiantly to beat his Garmin into obedience… which means some 30-30-1’s were more like 35-28-1.4’s… but we were close to target and all involved resoundingly approved. MARY: If stretching counts, yes we did make it to the ground without breaking a hip. Good to see Beav again… working on his round house kicks and almost knocked Pele unconscious. ANNOUNCEMENTS: Sometime this Fall there’s a marathon thing at McHorsey. Fleetwood suggested drinking water beforehand, but PAX was unconvinced. COT: Sensei will be setting pace soon with a new furry friend, who we all look forward to meeting.

Eyes on Teddy 👀

Date: 2025-06-06 AO: the-brave Q: Palmolive PAX: midriff, Franky, soft_pretzel, fire_hazard, teddyf3, Hippie, Taco_Stand, frasier, tuck, Long John Silver FNGs: 1 Long John Silver COUNT: 11 Per usual Brave mumblechatter, Teddy caught $h!t the whole time…but who was in the front pack for that last part??? :raised_hands:
Tour of Ballantyne with a good group and FNG that came to work. Nice post LJ!
WARMUP: Run to Campbells with a stop for merkins and disclaimer since Q skipped it at launch.
THE THANG: 7s up and down the hill with jump squats and LSS.
Run to the pond for 4 rounds of 10 dips, 5 derkins, 10 Bulgarian split squats (5 per leg) with a lap.
Run to Stream park for 2 rounds of lunge walk across the fake grass, 5 merkins, bear crawl back.
Back to launch for 4.25-4.5 miles with some meat and potatoes exercises.
MARY: LBCs, JLos, and planks throughout
ANNOUNCEMENTS: Nope
COT: Taco stand took us out

D-Day Domination by a VQ

Date: 2025-06-06 AO: joust Q: THE Rug Doctor PAX: Hops, ChickenWing, Focker, Mr Brady, marge, Mr. Magoo, Limey FNGs: None COUNT: 8 WARMUP: Jog from parking lot to the top of the Bleachers. Side-straddle hops, Imperial walkers, Hillbillies & Merkins, with only a couple of “voice-cracks and awkward Halts.” THE THANG: THE Rug Doctor marched the troops down to the track, for 4 corners of destruction. Start off with Air squats. Then, run 100 meters to next station of Burpees. Next, run 100 meters to next station of Drydocks. After that, run 100 meters to Freddy Mercurys’. Finally, 100 meters to start over with Air Squats. We did this circuit for 4x times.
The next part included partnering up, above the bleachers. Half the group ran the stairs. The other half, started off with Balls to the Wall. After that circuit, a healthy round of Dips. We followed that up, with some shoulder presses. Lastly, ended with some LBCs since beach season is upon us.
The final part took us back around the parking lot for some more steel ab burn. Started off with some flutter kicks. Then, gave mostly every member a pick of an ab workout, except for whoever THE Rug Doctor forgot to name.
Hops reminded us all that it has been 81 years since D-Day. #Neverforget Start the weekend off strong!
MARY: Yes ANNOUNCEMENTS: Blood drive at Candlewyck Friday, June 20th MARTA has full details COT: Hops

👻

Date: 2025-06-05 AO: run Q: Horsehead PAX: Horsehead FNGs: None COUNT: 1 It happened.