Author Archive Lois

Puttin’ in the work

Editor’s Note: Lois posting on behalf of Sensei, who is still in shock that Slim Fast used the term “parabola” at one point during this workout. 

13 men gathered in the Matthews Elementary parking lot on a random Thursday in April to get their day started right. The disclaimer was given, and we took off for the following.

Mosey to the basketball court for COP

  • SSH x 20
  • Hillbillies x 15
  • Merkins x 10
  • LSS x 20

Mosey to the baseball field for Jacob’s Ladder:

  • Run from one foul line to the other and do 10 Merkins
  • Run to the other foul line and do 10 Squats

Repeato decreasing Merkins/Squats by 1 until done

Mosey to the bleachers for:

  • Step Ups x 20 (10 each leg)
  • Dips x 15
  • Incline Merkins x 10

Repeato substituting Decline Merkins

Mosey over to the parking lot for Starfish:

  • Middle – Burpees x 5
  • 1st Corner – CDD x 10 (4 count)
  • 2nd Corner – Lunges x 20 (10 each leg)
  • 3rd Corner – LBC x 10 (4 count)
  • 4th Corner – Flutter x 10 (4 count)

That was so nice we did it twice.

We then found our way to the wall for PC

  • Arm Raises x 50 (Too fast for Swiss Miss)
  • Repeato (Slower count per Swiss Miss)
  • BTTW, hold while each PAX does 1 Decline Merkin while on the wall

I heard “That wasn’t so bad.” So we did it again.

Mosey back to launch point and we’re finished. I heard someone say 1.8 miles done.


  • Shepherd’s father recently passed
  • Lumberjack returning home from Everest (w/ video of a Burpee at 18k feet)
  • Booyah’s father recovering from his recent stroke

Remember these requests in your prayers please.


Every week we meet, and the temps are somewhere in the 40’s. Each week we say something to the effect of “This is hopefully the last week of this.” Maybe one week it will be true. Though living in NC I think we all fear jumping from the 40’s and no humidity to 60’s and 80% humidity.

It was warm enough (relatively speaking) for a Snoopy sighting. Welcome back sir. Apparently Snoopy is like Camp Snoopy at Carowinds and only around during warmer weather.

Also great to see Simba and Swiss Miss back out. Hopefully you guys can make Peak a part of your regular schedule again.

We started out w/ Jacob’s Ladder to see how gassed I could get everyone. Tweetsie/Nomad kept saying something about coffee so they must not have been running hard enough. I’m not sure if Smokey was talking or not, he was so far out in front nobody knows.

Thanks to Nomad, Slim Fast and Tweetsie for the pre-run. 0450 every week this happens for those that want to join us.

Thanks for the takeout Smokey.

I didn’t hear a ton of chatter this morning. Please chime in with any other observations.


After a couple of days of decent temperatures, the cold settled in over Matthews Elementary this fine Thursday morning. Apparently, Slim Fast’s voodoo weather doll that keeps the rain away at Peak 51 doesn’t control the temperature. We gotta see about getting him an upgrade.

Anyway, slightly chillier temps did not keep 10 hearty PAX from making the best first choice of the day by showing up to Peak.

After a decent disclaimer, we took off, heading to the back church lot by way of the front of the church. Let’s circle up at the top end near the church and get this thing started:


  • Side-straddle hops x20 IC
  • Imperial Walkers x20 IC
  • Mountain climbers x20 IC
  • Low, slow squat x20 IC


First up, let’s line up for the Peak 51 staple of suicides. Wait, don’t we usually start these at the bottom of the hill? Yeah, but we’re changing things this week. You get the final return leg going uphill! You’re welcome.

Three sets of suicides to get the blood flowing, with some planking in between.

Next up, mosey to the bus lot and the track. YHC starts explaining our main event while the six rolls in. Today, we’re doing something a little different — a mini-Murph.

Now, the full-on Murph consists of a 1-mile run, 100 pull-ups, 200 push-ups, 300 squats and another mile. Oh, and it’s timed.

Given that the lower half of YHC’s body is still not quite fully recovered from Thrive a couple of days ago, the running part is definitely getting cut down. And given that YHC missed his timed mile goal by 3 seconds at Mountain Goat a few weeks ago, timed things are still a sore subject.

So here’s what we’re going to do:

1 lap around the Outback Trail (TM) track

Then, 5 sets of:

  • 10 pull-ups (regular or supine)
  • 20 merkins
  • 30 squats

Once you are finished with your 5th set, 1 lap around the Outback Trail (TM) track.

Regroup in the parking lot. Plank until the six comes in, then do some LBCs.

Next up, let’s mosey to the hill by the baseball field.

Now apparently there was some #mumblechatter that we would not do any sort of hill work, because apparently YHC has a reputation of avoiding hill things at all costs.

Actually, that’s pretty accurate.

But, again, we’re changing things up today. So let’s do a triple nickel:

  • Bottom of hill, 5 lunges (1 lunge = 1 left, 1 right)
  • Top of hill, 5 Carolina Dry Docks
  • Five times

Once that’s done, mosey back to launch. Find a spot on the sidewalk next to the wall, where the pavement isn’t “bed of nails” quality, and let’s do some Mary.

  • Flutter
  • Freddie Mercury … including an uphill portion
  • Rosalita

Annnnnnd … we are done.


Count-o-rama, name-o-rama, announcements, takeout by Tweetsie



Richard Sheltra run — Saturday, April 28 in Pineville. 10K and 5K options. I’m sure the Right Honourable Lord Spiritual and Temporal of Pineville Dumpster Fire would love to have you come out.

Also — want to Q at Peak? Yes, you do. Please get in touch with me and/or Sensei, before we sign you up. The calendar is wide open.


First up, an update — I got up with Benny earlier this week. He and I checked out “Ready Player One,” which I highly recommend. Engaging story, interesting commentary on the role of reality vs. digital reality and a metric ton of 1980s pop culture references.

He is doing well — currently he has a walker, but he can scoot around, and is working toward a cane. His spirits are predictably high and he sends his best to all y’all. Shoot him a text, or, better yet, find a time to go pay him a visit.

Anyway, so with today’s workout — we started off with a pleasant surprise of Early Bird and Entourage. Good to see those familiar faces.

We technically started 30 seconds late because of #mumblechatter regarding the end of the NCAA Tournament and whether a perfect bracket existed. Bullwinkle I think got the idea that one did exist from, but I can’t be certain.

The chatter was still strong such that people stopped counting during COP, well, except for Slim Fast. Thanks for maintaining some degree of F3 decorum.

We had to split up amongst two playground sets for the bulk of the mini-Murph. I know there wasn’t much chatter on our end, aside from a lot of grunts and groans and such.

During the triple nickel, Slim Fast and I were talking BBQ. He apparently is trying his hand at making some pulled pork this weekend, so, he will be rubbing a butt on Friday at some point. Wish him luck in all of his butt-rubbing endeavors.

I hope everyone enjoyed our mini-Murph. I feel like breaking it up into sets makes it a little more digestible. After a couple of weeks of run-heavy, off-campus work, I wanted to keep us close to home, and, seriously, my abs and quads are still a little off-kilter. Note to the wise, if you venture into Union County and find Glass Joe on Q, just go somewhere else.

It is a privilege to lead this group as Co-Site Q and it’s always fun to lead a workout here as well. You guys make it awesome week after week.

Sound off with any missed mumblechatter in the comments!

Spring Break = Road Trip!

Editor’s note: Lois posting on behalf of Sensei. He apparently has already partied too hard on Spring Break …

10 fine men…

Well, gentlemen…

Well 10 men gathered at Peak 51 today to see what the first day of CMS spring break would behold. I guess it was the fact that it was finally shorts & t-shirts weather, or the excitement for spring break, or something since the mumble chatter started immediately. I’m not sure that anyone actually heard the disclaimer, but it is good enough for my mail order lawyer so we took off for the following.

The theme was spring break, so we moseyed to the parking lot beside Mac’s for COP. When leaving on a road trip you must eat well before you head out.

  • SSH x 20
  • IW x 20
  • Squats x 20

Then we went across John St. to the Post Office. One might possibly send a post card to Mom and Dad while on break telling them how it is quiet, you are getting studying done, etc.

  • 10 Burpees OYO
  • Merkins x 10

We then left out of the back of the Post Office, up Charles St. and stopped at the Pizza Peel. Spring break, pizza, beer, ‘nuf said. Everyone partnered up for the following.

  • P1 does 10 Merkins, P2 does 10 LBCs
  • Flapjack w/ P1 doing 10 LBCs and P2 doing 10 Merkins
  • Repeato decreasing Merkins and LBCs until 1 each

Next stop was the library because…Well everyone agreed that spring break and the library had absolutely nothing in common. Much like studying, ab work is necessary but never fun.

  • Flutters x 15
  • Dolly x 15
  • Rosalita x 15

Partner Up

  • P1 run one way around traffic circle, P2 run the opposite direction
  • When you meet halfway, do 15 Squats, then continue around
  • Meet on the other side and do 15 CDDs

Repeato x 3 times

We then moseyed up to Trade St. and gazed longingly upon Brakeman’s Coffee before heading back towards the launch point. We detoured to Stumptown Park for some bench work.

  • Step Ups x 20 (10 each leg)
  • Dips x 15
  • Incline Merkins x 10

Repeato substituting Decline Merkins.

Head back across the street to the launch point where we practiced sprinting away from ALE officers. Tweetsie had to explain what these were, so obviously this is something he has much experience with.

3 rounds of AYG (about 50 yards) with a mosey recovery.

Finally we made it back to the launch point with 90 seconds remaining. We did nice slow Merkins until time was called.


  • Brew Ruck event this Saturday in Rock Hill. Reach out to Geraldo for further info.
  • Best of luck to Lumberjack on his trek to Mt. Everest to support LLS. He promised to get a video of him doing a Burpee at 18,000 feet and share it with everyone.
  • Richard Sheltra coming up the end of April.


Where to begin? YHC has been a part of F3 for almost 4 years now, and have never overslept. This is especially true when I was the Q, since, well let’s be honest, the excitement always has us up way before time to leave. Maybe knowing that someone is sitting in my driveway waiting on me has always been a good motivating factor for me as well. Today was a first, as I slept through my alarm and 2 texts from Slim Fast before my phone rang. “Are you coming or are you going to sleep all day.”

Fortunately I remembered to stuff my Weinke in my shorts on the way out the door and made it in time for an abbreviated prerun. Thanks Geraldo, Nomad and Tweetsie for waiting on me.

Nice work by everyone today. We got in about 2.2 miles. Myself, Slim Fast, Nomad, Lois and Tweetsie had a post workout coffee at Brakeman’s.

Excellent takeout by Slim Fast. God created the heavens and the earth, Mt. Everest and everything in between. We should all stop and appreciate the creations and wonders that are all around us.

In YHC’s reading this week, I have spent time thinking of how 2,000 years ago Jesus knowingly and willingly walked to his death for each one of us. He is fully God and fully man, so was feeling the same emotions we would feel, and He did it anyways. We all know the Easter story, but my challenge to everyone is to stop for more than a moment and try to let that set in. We can never thank Him enough for grace, but we can do what He asked of us, go spread the good news. I hope everyone has a good Easter. He is risen. He is risen, indeed.

Sinister six

Today, 13 gathered at Area 51’s most macho workout to pound the pavement around Christ Covenant Church and do things with kettlebells.

YHC disclaimed — it was from the heart and during COP it was called “sweet” — and we were off …


  • 5 swings OYO
  • SSH x20 IC
  • 10 swings OYO
  • IW x20 IC
  • 15 swings OYO
  • LSS x20 IC
  • 15 swings OYO
  • Mountain climbers x20 IC
  • 20 swings OYO

During COP, YHC realized he messed up his swing increases, as it was supposed to be a predictor of what was ahead. Oh well.

Partner up, and play Catch Me If You Can down to the courtyard in between the two staircases of doom. Chaser does 5 jump squats before chasing.


Meet in the courtyard. This is pretty simple. YHC calls an exercise, do 5 reps of said exercise there in the courtyard. Mosey around the church with your bell, stop at the next entrance (indicated by the gigantic Celtic cross, and, you know, doors) and do 10 reps of said exercise.

Wait, did he say “with your bell”? Sure did.

Anyway, mosey to the next entrance, 15 reps, mosey to the last entrance, 20 reps, then recover mosey back to the courtyard.

  • Round 1: Curls
  • Round 2: Good Mornings
  • Round 3: Upright row
  • Round 4: Lunges (each leg counts as 1)
  • Round 5: Overhead press
  • Round 6: Squats (goblet, teabag, whatever)

We did some LBCs after round 3. We did Freddy Mercury and Flutters after round 4 (I think it was 4).

After finishing the 20-rep stop on the squats, mosey back to launch.

Back at launch, do LBCs until the Q calls time — 30 seconds later, we’re done.


Counting, naming, praying.



Baracus had something to say, and he said it.


Now, there’s a saying around my household: “Those who can read have a great advantage in life.” Now, I know reading my various ping-ponging thoughts on Twitter dot com, a free website, can be a little hard, but, I did say in a Tweet yesterday: “You might err on the side of a traveling bell.” I consider that an adequate warning.

The workout started with a fair amount of mumblechatter — Baracus commended me on my SSH and IW form, comparing me to the absent Bulldog. [Insert Joker “Not Sure if Serious” meme here]

I knew this workout was going to be a pain in the, well, everywhere, but the PAX were up to the challenge. Since the pack generally stayed together, there was even some strategy involved in surviving this big, dumb workout …

“Smokey, don’t run so fast.”
“Whoever finishes first has to do Turkish Get-Ups.”
“Smokey, slow down.”
“We don’t have to run, you guys.”
“Smokey, why are you in a hurry?”

I think it was Baracus who came up with the idea of continuing to move while doing the overhead presses, as starting and stopping was becoming more of an issue. BLC also just smartly modified and left his bell behind on the lunge round. Stone Cold lobbied for as much Mary as possible. I tried not to overindulge his wishes.

Any other mumblechatter I might’ve missed, please sound off in the comments!

Excellent job all around. It was a tough slog, but, that’s what we just call “Tuesday” here at Skunk. Thanks to Chin Music and Blazing Saddles for the opportunity to lead this bunch of #HIM. I know I’m stronger in every sense of the word every single week thanks to all y’all (if Bulldog is reading this, that means “everybody” in American).

Now, if you’ll pardon me, I am going to go not grip things for a few days.

Romancing the stone

Eight of the finest PAX in Union County and the hinterlands of South Charlotte descended on Stallings Elementary for today’s installment of Conviction, ready to rock and roll.

Rock and roll? Yeah, YHC is going to try and limit the rock-related puns going forward.

So, after a heartfelt disclaimer, there was a warm-up mosey, winding through the launch-side parking lot.

Time to circle up:


  • Side-Straddle Hops x 20 IC
  • Imperial Walkers x 20 IC
  • Low, Slow Squat x 20 IC
  • Mountain Climbers x 15 IC
  • Arm circles, going forward x 10 IC
  • Arm circles, going backward x 10 IC


Head to the rock pile. PAX were instructed to grab a rock, but to choose it carefully. Get a rock that is good for travel, yet will give you a challenge to do exercises. Basically, don’t choose the “Regerts Rock” from last week.

Rocks chosen, mosey to the bus lot.

PAX put the rocks down to receive instructions. Start at the corner by the bench, do the called exercise and number of reps, mosey (with your rock) to the next corner and repeato, mosey to the next corner and repeato, mosey to the next corner and repeato, and recover mosey back to the starting corner and wait for the six.

Pretty easy, right? Well, the reason there so much emphasis on wisely choosing your rock is because there was one little tiny catch …

Once you pick up your rock to start, you can’t put it down for the duration of the workout.

No pavement, no grass, no bench, no sidewalk. YHC has to give it to the PAX, there were many contingencies thrown out, all of which were denied. Now, YHC didn’t say there couldn’t be creative ways to find rest, like resting the rock on a foot or knee or whatever. If you put down your rock, you must do 5 burpees on the spot. Add an extra burpee for any subsequent violation. Modify as needed.

Okay, let’s go …

  • Round 1: 20 curls at each corner
  • Round 2: 20 squats at each corner
  • Round 3: 15 overhead presses at corner
  • Round 4: 15 tricep extensions at each corner
  • Round 5: 10 flutter presses at each corner
  • Round 6: 5 Louganis at each corner

After each round, recite the Rockman’s Creed:

This is my rock. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My rock is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.

Without me, my rock is useless. Without my rock, I am useless. I must lift my rock true.

Before God, I swear this creed.

Actually, we didn’t do the creed, but, that’s good, right?

After the final round, dump your rock in the gravel area by the playground and head to the wall.

Sit down in the People’s Chair. Arms out and hold it. Then 50 air presses, civilian count. Recover. Repeato.

Alright, grab your rock, mosey back to the rock pile. Throw rock angrily into the pile. Mosey back to launch for some Mary.

  • 25 LBCs OYO
  • 20 Heels to Heaven IC

Time called.


Count off, name off, announcements, takeout.



Run Jen Run 5K this weekend. There’s a beer tent.

Jabberwocky on Q next week.


Do you ever look at your #Weinke in the morning before heading out and just think to yourself, “Man, I really don’t want to do this.”? That was me this morning, as my body was quite sore after a rep-heavy kettlebell workout at Skunk Works the morning before. But, I was locked in.

Before officially starting, there was much discussion of college basketball, given the finish of last night’s UNC-Miami game. There was also gnashing of teeth related to the fact that the ACC Tournament is being held in Brooklyn this year. Being a Gamecock, this is of less concern to me, although my conference faces a similar phenomenon this year …

Bullwinkle: “Where’s the SEC Tournament this year?”

Lois: “The heart of SEC country!”

Bullwinkle: “Atlanta?”

Lois: “St. Louis.”

Now, apparently I wasn’t the only one beat up by the prior day’s workout. There was a lot of mumblechatter about yesterday’s Thrive — something about improper tallying related to the Thrive Challenge. Perhaps there was interference from Russia? #FakeNews

When I said “there’s a catch” before explaining the rule about not putting it down, there was an audible groan. There was an even louder groan when Bullwinkle asked about the penalty.

I think everyone was well oriented with his own rock by the end. Perhaps even an intimate connection made. Jabberwocky and his rock I think were destined for couple’s counseling early on. I myself realized about 10 curls in that I perhaps made a poor decision with regards to my own rock.

Now, I didn’t see any of this, but there were calls of “shenanigans” early on, perhaps levied at eHarmony? Now, of course, “shenanigans” sent me and Bullwinkle into a temporary fit of quoting “Super Troopers.” #Meow #LiterOfCola

Everyone really pushed themselves this morning. It was truly designed to be challenging, but also easily modifiable for each PAX to adjust to his own ability. The catch of not putting it down wasn’t designed so much to increase the difficulty, but just keep you on your toes … or in some cases, the rock on your toes.

Gypsy was out front for most of it, but always going back to make sure everyone was doing well. Sticky Note I gather is still relatively new to F3, but, he was knocking it out. With all of the mumblechatter and grumblechatter, the morning just flew by.

Thanks for the opportunity to lead this group of #HIM.

Get in the mood

9 PAX decided to show up to the Scout Hut Love Shack this morning to reset and recover at Gumby.

Admittedly, when YHC was informed he was Q this morning, his mind instantly reverted back to the age of 13. How many lame jokes and innuendos could be made, given that we would be in all kinds of odd bodily positions here on Valentine’s Day?

First up, however, a serious note — there is a devotional to get to.

In addition to Valentine’s Day, it is Ash Wednesday, marking the beginning of the Lenten season. Now, YHC, not growing up in a churched home, and currently being a “low church” kind of guy over at Carmel Baptist, the idea of a formal liturgical calendar is a little foreign. But, the magic of the Google machine turned up this devotional from BGEA on Ash Wednesday that is good for anyone looking to recognize and celebrate the season. YHC did have to edit for brevity for the in-person crowd, so, please go to the site and read the full thing.

And if you have any issues, call the BGEA call center and ask for Tweetsie personally. He’ll be happy to field your input.

Okay, now that we have THAT out of the way … there’s only one way to fully appreciate today’s BB, and you should do so by pushing play below:

So, we have the mood music … and the lights were turned off and we were Bambi-lamping this morning. The heat in the Love Shack was on and pumping. Let’s do this …


Corpse pose


Start moving your arms and legs, stretch arms over your head.

Windshield wipers, left and right. Holding one side each for a few breaths, then flapjack.

Bridge x5

Sit up, and flutter the wings of love, aka the butterfly. Push knees to the floor, as low as you can go.

Leave right leg tucked in, straighten out left leg and lean in toward your foot. Flapjack. Then put both legs out and grab your feet.

Head to Table Top.

Cat and cow, using your breathing as a guide

Odell Beckham with right leg, first out, then making circles clockwise, then counter-clockwise. Flapjack.

Remain in Table Top, and do the Bird Dog, left leg out, right arm out … flapjack.

Up to mountain.

Two guided Sun Salutations …

  • Stretch up
  • Forward fold
  • Halfway lift
  • Plank
  • Lower down to Chattanooga, or whatever that fancy word is that Witch Doctor uses for six-inch plank #Professional
  • Up dog
  • Down dog

At down dog, we did some 3-legged dog and cheetah with the right leg. On the second run through, we did this with the left leg.

3 more SS OYO, meet in Mountain.

From Mountain, sit down in your chair. Arms up, then straight out, then kick right leg out into the Dancer pose. Throw in a quad stretch if you so desire.

Back in chair, arms out, then up, then recover.

1 SS OYO, then repeato on chair flow, switching legs on the Dancer pose.

Another SS OYO, then time to do the Cupid Shuffle. No, not the popular line dance done at only the finest weddings and dances, we’re rebranding the Warrior poses as “Cupid,” since he had arrows and stuff.

Oh, wait, do you need some more Barry? Yes, you do.

Okay, now that we’ve recharged … let’s go:

  • Cupid 1
  • Cupid 2 (lean forward if you like)
  • Peaceful Cupid
  • Cupid 2

Then, turn and face the wall for star pose, lower down to the mat. Walk your hands back toward your six, then over to the left leg, then the right leg. After that, back to the middle, left hand on the floor, rotate over and reach up with your right arm. Flapjack. YHC was particularly inflexible on this move this morning.

Come back up into star, then back into Cupid 2, Cupid 1, mountain.


Repeato the Cupid 1, 2, Peaceful, 2 flow on the other side. Once again, back into Star, lower down, then into Ninja. Bend your left leg and sit back on your left heel, right leg stretched out and right foot flexed up. Flapjack. This was popular amongst the PAX, given the grunting and groaning.

Slowly come up, back to Cupid 2, Cupid 1, mountain.

1 SS OYO, stopping at down dog.

From down dog, kick right leg out and bring it through to Pigeon. Keep that leg perpendicular — although the question was asked, “Perpendicular to what?”. Get down on your elbows. Slowly unwind back to down dog, then flapjack with pigeon on the other side.

Kick back into down dog, then finish up that SS.

On your six, bring your knees up, give them a hug. Roll around to get out the tension in your back.

Finish on a happy note. Happy baby, that is.

Corpse. Devo redux.


Count off … Name-o-rama … COT.

Oh hey, since it’s Valentine’s Day, and YHC is on a bit of a sugar/carb detox, feel free to grab some chocolate hearts gifted to YHC on your way out.



CPR training, if you’ve signed up, is Saturday at Providence Road Church of Christ. If you have signed up, make sure Madison has your $$$. T-claps to him for taking the lead on this initiative, and look for future opportunities to take the training and become certified — Madison did say more would be coming.


I did try and have a little fun this morning without going too overboard with the puns. I hope it was well received. Also, I hope that everyone enjoyed our soundtrack, which was, yes, Barry White Radio on Pandora. A definite departure from our usual Zamfiresque offerings.

When Paper Jam walked in, he asked if there would be any candy or flowers, given it is Valentine’s Day. Glad I could come up with at least half of that. Also, he saw my Barry White musical gambit coming … was hoping to keep that a surprise.

I did bring the M’s new Bluetooth speaker she received for Christmas, in lieu of my tinny keychain speaker. I like to think it helped set the mood. No complaints from the usual peanut gallery on that one.

The mood was enough where at one point, it looked like Paper Jam was getting up to take off his pants.

Glad to have Beaver show up — is he site FNG, or just back for the first time in a while?

As always, it was an honor to lead you guys. Thanks to Swiss and Tweetsie for the opportunity. Hope it was fun and functional.

Until next time, play us out Barry ….

The one-armed man did it

Lois posting on behalf of Dora … well, actually, because of time constraints, anything related to the workout itself is Dora. The rest of it is relying on Lois’ spotty memory.

So, the biggest thing about today’s workout — since Dora was nursing an injured shoulder, we avoided pretty much any semblance of upper-body work. Anything that could be done with only one arm, we did it that way.

One-armed Fun Run to and around the bus lot with:
  • High Knees,
  • Butt Kickers,
  • Karaoke Left,
  • Back Pedal, and
  • Karaoke Right
COP (in cadence):
  • 15 One-armed Side-straddle Hops
  • 15 One-armed Squats
  • 15 One-armed Mountain Climbers


Count off by 4s for the…

One-armed, Four-legged Starfish of Death:

  • 3 Rounds,
  • 4 Teams,
  • 4 Exercises,
  • 15 Reps in Cadence,
  • Return to center between exercises for a Team High-Five,
  • Plank up at end of Round.

Round 1:

  • One-armed LBCs,
  • One-armed Squats,
  • One-armed Flutter Kicks,
  • One-armed Lunges
  • Mosey out, Mosey back, Plank, #GeraldoTenCount

Round 2:

  • One-armed Hello Dollys,
  • One-armed Star Jacks,
  • One-armed Rosalitas,
  • One-armed Jump Lunges
  • Sprint out, Back Pedal back, (2 Team High-Fives in the center),


Round 3:

  • See Round 1
  • #MADTenCount

One-armed Mosey “over there” for 3 Rounds of:

  • 5 Sets of One-armed Jane Fonda Step Ups
  • 30-Second One-armed People’s Chair
  • Plank up at the end.

One-armed Mosey back to SP #TookTheLongWay



Ummm … yeah, I don’t really remember. Slim Fast conscripting for BRR 2018. Beware.


At the beginning of the workout, you could see the wheels turning in some of our heads as Dora said there would be no upper-body work. Hey great, no upper-body wor …. wait …. so all legs and core? Oh boy. This could get interesting.

The team starfish was a great variation on a F3 standard. Some of the team high-fives were, well, let’s just all be thankful no video cameras were present. My own team, with Tweetsie and Smokey, was a fantastic combo. Arguably our least-favorite exercise was the jump lunges/Sister Mary Katherines, although Smokey showed us he knew more about “Superstar” than you might have guessed. Smokey also showed us all up by taking Geraldo’s ruck halfway through the starfish.

During the step-ups, Geraldo brought up that musical classic from the 1980s, “Opposites Attract” by Paula Abdul (with MC Skat Kat). This was fun, although it was well past lunch before the song escaped my head.

Also, in between starfish sets, Dora participated in the planking … one arming it the whole time.

Kotters to Cocktail and MAD. Also, there were 13 PAX present. There are only 12 in the list. That’s because I could only remember 12. For the love of all that’s holy in this world, someone please point out who I am missing in the comments, because it’s driving me nuts.

T-claps to Dora for an excellent lead. Fireman Ed next week. Will Benny show up, since Fireman Ed all but guarantees an appearance of his favorite exercise? #JackWebb #MarathonTrainingThough

Sensei and I appreciate each and every one of you that come out on Thursdays. I know we are biased, but, you guys make this the best workout in Area 51 week after week. You guys live out the idea of iron sharpening iron, and we’re all the better for it.

Seriously though … who am I missing on the PAX list? AAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Update: 0928 Friday morning — I have been informed that Pele was the elusive 13th PAX. Cobains for the confusion.

I get wet, without even trying

So, YHC slept through his alarm, hauled it over to South Charlotte Middle School, and thought to himself, “Man, I’m really really late for Mountain Goat. In fact, it’s Monday. And this isn’t Mountain Goat. But there are PAX and a shovel flag, so, let’s have a workout.”

And that we did. After a barely adequate disclaimer — a minor Q fail since a FNG was in our ranks — we took off out of the parking lot and into the damp, misty gloom. After hanging a left on Strawberry Lane, we stopped at the Gateway Academy for …


  • Side-straddle hops x 20
  • Imperial walker x 20
  • Low, slow squat x 20
  • Mountain climber x 20
  • Windmill x 20

After that, mosey to the intersection of Strawberry and 51 for our instructions.


Time to battle The Beast: 6 exercises, 6 reps at 6 stops.

YHC’s original plan was to do this on the cozy, contained confines of the SCMS track. But, since there was rain, the track was flooded (#GlobalWarming #ThanksObama?), YHC decided to take this show on the road. Literally.

So, starting at Strawberry and 51, the stops were:

  1. Rye Mill Court/Gateway Academy
  2. SCMS entrance #1
  3. SCMS entrance #2
  4. SCMS entrance #3
  5. The Brandenburg Gate (or whatever you want to call the big, fancy gate into that big, fancy neighborhood)
  6. The first entrance to the little crescent/semicircle drive

Once you finish, mosey/recover to the second entrance to the aforementioned crescent and wait for the six. Reverse course for the next round, with the recovery being from Gateway to Strawberry/51. Simple? No. But, whatever.

The exercises were:

  • Round 1: Merkins
  • Round 2: Jump Squats
  • Round 3: LBCs
  • Round 4: Lunges (1 “rep” is one lunge each leg)
  • Round 5: Mountain climbers (civilian count)
  • Round 6: Plank jacks

Once we were finished with that, mosey back to the SCMS parking lot. Some Mary once we got there …

  • Heels to Heaven x20
  • LBCs x20
  • Dolly x15

Finish off with some Sevens. Start with 1 squat, run to the truck, 6 Carolina Dry Docks. Run back to the start, 2 squats, run, 5 CDDs. You know the drill.

We made progress, but started to run short on time, so, finish up and head back to the flag.

Count-o-rama …

Name-o-rama …

Name the FNG …




BROlympics coming up — Feb. 24 at Weddington High School. Preblast with, wait, a trailer? … man, some of y’all are professionals … right here.

Tweetsie on Q next week. Glad he wasn’t scared off by the weather this morning or anything like that.


First off — welcome to our FNG, Chris, an environmental consultant. Despite a last name that would suggest Irish ancestry, he’s actually more Norwegian and German, so, therefore … Leprechaun. We thought about naming him after an endangered specie, but, we couldn’t really think of a good one.

In all seriousness, welcome Leprechaun. We promise, it gets better from here (kinda sorta).

Things started off with a bang as Goonie gave me crap about my apparently poor SSH form. At least I was able to turn and pivot and all of that.

Admittedly, I was a little hesitant about running The Beast on the road. As a wily veteran of Mountain Goat, I’m used to dodging a few cars, but that’s easier when straight-up running, versus knocking out LBCs and hearing “CAR UP!”.

I advised the PAX to bring headlamps for safety. Then, while I was giving instruction, Fireman Ed pointed out that many of the PAX, myself included, were standing in the middle of Strawberry in a blind spot. #SafetyFirst

We did have to be wary of a few cars, but, I like to think we made the most of it and kept everyone safe. Plus, we got a little more distance versus the track (I clocked in at 2.56 miles), not to mention the little hill climb coming back. It’s never too early to start dreading BRR training.

Goonie, as expected, got out in front and led the way. Everyone did a great job and I’m happy we were able to stay together as a group. I’m also glad the rain held off, but everyone was still able to go directly to the wet set.

I know there was definitely more mumblechatter … sound off in the comments.

Thanks to Goonie, Benny and Thunder Road for having me out. It was an honor and privilege to lead.

Missed opportunities

Lois posting on behalf of Kilowatt, who had an excellent Q in the balmy environs of Matthews Elementary School …

Tclaps to Slim Fast and Tweetsie for their pre-run. Honorable mention to Nomad for at least thinking about doing the pre-run.

The Thang:

A surprisingly small crowd for P51. I believe most of the usual PAX were still thawing out from last week’s frostbite. Some may have been scared off by the forecast of rain. They forgot that the rain only starts after P51. Bottom line, folks missed a comfortably cool and dry excellent workout opportunity.

Started with a mosey to ‘Industrial Parking lot’ … listen to Nomad whine about his legs and arms hurting from Conviction on Wednesday.


  • 20 LSS
  • 20 IW
  • 19 SSH
  • 16 Abe Vigoda

Note: Erratic exercise counts due to the Q not being able to think straight with all the excessive mumblechatter.

Mosey to the church parking lot:

Partner run / 100 Merkins – Partners go to 100 or whenever the Q says stop. Bonhoeffer was hesitant to recover from the pavement when we were done. Must have hoped for more Merkins??

Karaoke around the parking lot – Start delayed by Tweetsie’s Google search and discussion on the definition of an alley.

Partner run / LBCs – Go until each PAX runs three times or whenever the Q says stop.

Bear Crawl to the second small tree, lunge walk to the end of the parking lot. Return. Some had difficulty counting to ‘the second’ small tree. Not everybody can be a math major.

Mosey to the rear school parking lot:

Five legged Starfish

  • 15 Pull-ups
  • 15 Donkey Kicks
  • 15 CDDs
  • 15 Bomb Jacks
  • Run 1 lap on track

Six legged Starfish (Slim Fast doesn’t like for starfish to have an odd number of legs so we modified for the R&R)

  • 15 Pull-ups
  • 15 Donkey Kicks
  • 15 CDDs
  • 15 Bomb Jacks
  • Run 1 lap on track
  • INSERT 10 DOLLYS IN THE CENTER BETWEEN EACH EXERCISE to add the 6th starfish leg.

Mosey to the starting parking lot

  • 20 Flutters
  • 19 Rosalita in Espanol


No Announcements

The Moleskin

Truly an enjoyable workout with a wonderful group of PAX. I had not Q’ed P51 in a while. Lois and Sensei graciously allowed me to pick any date I wanted to Q in January. Really glad I didn’t pick last week given the sub-freezing temperatures. I choose to believe that all the mumblechatter about my leadership today was due to the PAX being really glad I had returned to Q. No other reason makes any sense 🙂


Where’s the music?

Nine PAX, including a visitor from The Promised Land (or at least the land where YHC spent 4.5 quality years getting edumacated), gathered in the cozy confines of the Scout Hut for another round of Gumby, the only F3 workout where you actually feel better when it’s over.

  • Mood: Regular lighting. No Bambi Lamp today.
  • Music: Avett Brothers Radio on Pandora (more on that later)
  • Devo: No specific devotional, just a call to action based on Ephesians 4 that as we are in a holiday season, remember that we are called to be a single, united body in Christ. If there is any sort of discord in your own life, seek reconciliation, after all, Christ died for ALL of EVERYONE’s sins.


Start in corpse for devo.

Stretch out,  arms above head.

Bridge x4

Windshield wipers, L and R, last set holding in one direction while looking in the other (and requisite flapjacking).

Grab a strap or rope — wrap around left leg, 90 degrees straight up, then out to the left. Repeato, then flapjack.

Sit up, bring your feet in for butterfly. Give it a few flaps, then press knees to the floor (or as close as you can go).

Move to tabletop — cycle through cat and cow.

Then do the Odell Beckham — right leg out, as if to decorate a fire hydrant. Make circles with your knee. Flapjack.

Kick out into plank, run through a sun salutation 3 times. Meet in mountain, then do a half-salutation, meeting in down dog.

In down dog, right leg straight out in 3-legged dog. Then bring the knee in for cheetah. Go through that cycle three times, finish sun salutation.

Then, another half-salutation, going through the same series with the left leg.

1 full SS OYO. Meet in mountain.

Face the wall, star pose, slowly descend to mat. Walk your hands back, then to the right, then to the left. Arise!

1 full SS OYO. Meet in mountain.

Face the other wall. Star post, slowly descend to mat. Bend left leg, sit back on that leg, right leg straight out, foot flexed for the ninja post. Flapjack. Repeato. Arise!

1 half-salutation, meet in down dog.

Swing right leg through, come up into Warrior 1. Move to Warrior 2, then Peaceful Warrior, then back to 2 and 1. Repeato. Step into mountain.

Half-salutation into down dog, do the same warrior series on the other side.

Meet in mountain, let’s do some tree!

After some heavy wobbling on both sides in tree, half-salutation, meet in down dog, right leg back and through for pigeon. Elbows down to lean in to the stretch, then come back up. If you are a freak of nature, try and bring your arms up in almost a crescent lunge with pigeon.

Unwind, then flapjack.

Back down on the mat, hug your knees, roll around.

Resume corpse pose.



Moderate running/boot camp workout launching from Socrates Academy (look it up, it’s under “So Crates”) Thursdays at 5:15 am. Get in touch with Madison for more details.

Paper Jam on Q next week. Always a good leader and crowd pleaser.


First off, welcome to Cesspool, a visiting PAX from “Famously Hot” Columbia, S.C. We were glad to have you. Also, based on his reaction, I like to think that this whole active recovery workout was a revelation. Gumby is taking over.

As usual, the music is central to the tale of a particular Gumby. Given that I forgot my speaker, which usually draws rave reviews from sound engineers Tweetsie and Swiss Miss, I had to run it off my phone. I also could not quite get the volume at a satisfactory level. I told our beloved Site Qs/sound engineers that they should put a community speaker in the budget for next year. I still like the ABR station on Pandora as a shakeup from the usual ethereal offerings centered around yoga. My personal favorite was a bluegrassy cover of “Heaven” by Canada’s favorite son, Bryan Adams.

Also, I just noticed for the first time this morning the bear cutout hiding in the rafters of our beloved scout hut. Kinda cool.

As always, thanks to Swiss and Tweetsie for the opportunity to lead (and for putting up with my smart aleck commentary in BBs). Gumby continues to be a key part of my own personal fitness routine, and it is always an easy choice hanging with a great group of guys.

Sound off in the comments for anything I missed (or when we might expect that community speaker).