Author Archive Lois

I go by the name of Lois Lane

Actually, that subject line is true, at least as it pertains to the world of F3. Anyway, 7 descended upon the venerable Scout Hut at Matthews United Methodist Church for this week’s edition of Gumby.

It’s been a while since YHC Q’d at Gumby, so, out came the special Gumby t-shirt and a special playlist — the shortest in the history of Gumby in terms of number of songs: 5.

More on that later. Let’s actually get down to it.

*hit play*


No specific Bible verse this week, but, YHC took an excerpt from a John MacArthur study guide on a study of the life of Solomon (1 Kings, Proverbs and Ecclesiastes) for this week’s devo. In short — much like a pro athlete has to devote himself or herself to constant practice, so must we have the devotion to seek wisdom.

Asking for wisdom, as Solomon did, is the start, but, we must be anchored in the source of wisdom — the Word of God — and actively remain there.


Corpse pose — stretch out, arms up, move feet and hands.

Knees up, windshield wipers.

Knees up, bridge. Try and bind your hands underneath your hips.

Move to Table Top


Bird dog — left arm out, right leg back, flapjack

Odell Beckham, moving legs out to fire hydrant, then rotating knees in a circle clockwise, then counterclockwise. Flapjack.

Child’s pose — arms out, to the right, back to center, to the left, back to center.

Sit up, sit back on the balls of your feet for a plantar stretch.

1 Sun Salutation — Stretch up, forward fold, halfway lift, forward fold, plank, Chattanooga, up dog, down dog, halfway lift, forward fold, stretch ip.

Grab a strap/rope

On your back, wrap the strap around your right foot and bring leg straight up, holding it (replicating the partner stretch from Brew’s Q last week). Hold for approximately 1 minute.


Leg back up, then out to the side. Hold for approximately 1 minute.

Relax. Flapjack.

On your feet, 1 Sun Salutation OYO

Move into Chair. Arms up, then out. Lean forward with right arm extended in front and left leg behind in Dancer. Back to chair, arms out, then up.

1 SS OYO, then repeato with dancer on the other side.


Move into Tree. Right foot up, then left foot up.


Kick back right foot into Warrior 1, then Warrior 2, then Peaceful Warrior, back to Warrior 2.

Turn and face the wall, into Star, lower down to the mat, stretch in the middle, then right, the left.

Back into Star, then Warrior 2, Warrior 1, then a SS OYO.

Repeato/Flapjack, this time with Star, go down, do a pair of triangle stretches, leaving the left hand on the mat and rotating up with the right hand, then flapjacking.

While we’re down here, let’s get in one of YHC’s favorite stretches, the Ninja. Rotate the right foot up, then sit back on the left foot. Flapjack, the come up into star, and finish out the Warrior set.


Grab the strap, back on your back. Round two of strapped leg stretching, this time holding for 45 seconds and only doing the leg straight back. Pay attention to how the stretch (and your capability to do it) changes after being active.

Flip over into Down Dog, right leg back, swing through for Pigeon. Suffer a bit, unwind, back to Down Dog, then flapjack/repeato.

Down dog. Corpse. Revisit devo.

*music ends*

15 seconds of silence, then, the timer goes off. That’s a wrap.



F3 Dads, Saturdays at 9AM at Col. Francis Beatty park, on the softball fields.


As usual, I had my overly complicated setup going — I had my iPad running the music, and a timer, since the Scout Hut clock is behind the Q in the typical Gumby setup. I read the devo from my phone.

I was also running the music through my M’s nice DOSS Box speaker — this did not go unnoticed by Arena, who openly pined for the days where I would bring in my keychain speaker (which famously has no low end) which usually hangs in my bathroom. And given what Arena called said speaker, “hang” is incredibly appropriate here.

So, here are the five songs:

  • Pink Floyd – “Comfortably Numb”
  • The Allman Brothers Band – “Jessica”
  • Lynyrd Skynyrd – “Free Bird”
  • Derek and the Dominos – “Layla”
  • Sugarhill Gang – “Rapper’s Delight”

As you can tell, the songs were selected for length and/or the existence of a famous coda. The playlist clocked in at just under 45 minutes.

Given the move from classic rock to old-school hip-hop, the overall length of “Rapper’s Delight” I think was noticed more than the others. But, I knew when I started the endeavor that I wanted it in there. If I’m in a mood, and prompted, I can pull off the entire 14-minute rap with no cheats. It’s on my special skills resume.

There were also a few laughs because my voice is still in recovery after a concert in Greensboro on Sunday night. Well, lots of in-car conversation driving to and from Greensboro with friends, then a lot of off-key accompaniment at the show. Given that Gumby does require the most guidance of any F3 workout, I knew it would be rough. It gave me a few flashbacks to middle school, for sure.

As far as the workout itself goes — I tried to liven things up with the shout-out to Strange Brew’s mobility stuff from last week. Hope it was well received.

T-claps to Arena and Grave Dancer for pre-running. I would have joined in, except, well, I was feeling lazy and just didn’t want to do it. #BRRReady(?)

As always, it’s fun to Q Gumby– praise be to Swiss Miss and Tweetsie (currently sipping Mimosas at The Cove on some sort of “work retreat”) for the opportunity to lead and for their continued leadership of such a great (and essential) site.

Alright, signing off, as my hands are now comfortably numb after all of that typing.

20 Candles in the Wind

It was the day of days — Benny’s triumphant return to the gloom, if only on a part-time basis. 20 Peak PAX came out to discover that the man behind the workout has a busted leg — so, time to work on some arms.

Splitting up the execution of this tribute — your friendly neighborhood Site Qs.


Welcome to Bennyfest, here’s a disclaimer.

In addition to legal mumbo-jumbo, an addition of “I didn’t write this workout. If you don’t like it, complain to Benny at the end.”

Mosey to the church parking lot via the front of First Baptist. Circle up.



  • 1 burpee OYO
  • SSH x15 IC
  • 2 burpees OYO
  • Merkins x10 IC
  • 3 burpees OYO (Pattern detected …)
  • IW x15 OYO
  • 4 burpees OYO
  • LSS x15 OYO
  • 5 burpees OYO


Line ’em up at the bottom of the parking lot. Partner up for partner suicides.

While partner 1 runs the gauntlet of lamp posts, partner 2 does AMRAP of called exercises. Flapjack.

  • Round 1: LBCs
  • Round 2: IW squats
  • Round 3: Mountain Climbers

After a 10 count, mosey to the back bus lot.


Okay, we’ve tackled one Peak 51 staple — suicides — now let’s do another one, the Starfish.

  • Middle: 5 burpees
  • Corner 1 (Basketball goals): 15 Carolina Dry Docks
  • Corner 2 (Geraldo Tree): 15 Merkins
  • Corner 3 (The building thing where we often do donkey kicks): 15 Diamond Merkins
  • Corner 4 (The giant oak tree): 15 Wide-arm Merkins

Again, this #weinke was composed by a man who is likely ignoring his doctor’s orders to take it easy on the legs.

After round 1, LBCs while everyone finishes up. Did we enjoy that? No? Well, too bad, because we’re going to do a second round. So, repeato.

After round 2, flutters until all have finished.

Mosey over toward Horsehead Valley to the grassy patch. Even though the ground is kind of wet, it wouldn’t be a Benny Q without a visit from Jack Webb.

Now, YHC managed to show off the awesomeness of his South Carolina public education (Kindergarten through Bachelor’s Degree, thank y’all very much) by skipping a step in the pyramid, so it went …

  • 1 merk, 4 air presses
  • 2 merks, 8 APs
  • 3 merks, 12 APs
  • 5 merks, 20 APs
  • 4 merks, 16 APs
  • 3 merks, 12 APs
  • 2 merks, 8 APs
  • 1 merk, 4 APs

Enough of all that counting, time for the big finish. Mosey back to launch, where we find the man of the hour waiting by his car. We all greet him as we run past, and for the final stretch of Mary, we turn to …


  • Flutters 20x IC
  • Rosalita 20x IC en Espanol, por favor
  • Protractor

Time called.

Circle up … countin’ … namin’ … Benny with the takeout … lots of good 2nd F afterward.



Convergences-a-plenty during the holiday weekend. There is the Rock Zero convergence Saturday (preblast here) and the Memorial Day convergence and Patriot 5K (preblast here … contact Little Mike if you want/need more info).

Today is the last day to order an Area 51 short-sleeve shirt.


First, it was awesome to have Benny out at the end to wrap up with Mary and take us out. Today was really a celebration of him and what he means to this group. It was awesome to see a big crowd come out.

Next, let’s talk about the workout. When he sent it to me and Sensei, we realized pretty quick that if we did everything he put on that #weinke, we very well might still be out there (and it is 2:03pm as I type that last sentence). I like to think that the Sky Q was looking out for us by making it rain last night and therefore making the fields a little too wet for things like Planker’s Delight and the Tunnel of Love. Luckily, I know what it’s like to chop up other people’s work for length considerations.

It was funny when we did the partner suicides — it’s easy to forget that there is a minor learning curve. We just threw out the suicides, thinking everyone knew where to stop. Not so, since we’ve been lucky to have an influx of new guys recently. Luckily, they sensed our deception when we told them to run through the brick wall at the other end of the parking lot.

Also funny was that during said partner suicides, Bullwinkle just, I don’t know, appeared. The man is a wizard.

I think during the starfish, Smokey and Slim Fast were discussing some sort of summer work to keep their soccer-playing boys sharp … they said something about flying in a private coach, some dude named “Christian Pulisic” or something. They probably cut a deal to get him on the cheap. I get the feeling this guy is not going to be busy this summer and is looking for something to do.

Also during the starfish, I was chatting with Jello about serious matters of recent bumps related to the Southern Baptist Convention, but, as usual, that didn’t last long as it came out that I, as an ordained Southern Baptist Deacon, am eligible to oversee a legal, binding wedding ceremony in the state of Florida (No Rules — Just Right).

As usual, if I missed any good #mumblechatter, sound off in the comments.

Thumper, Bernie, Madoff, Compliance — you guys are doing awesome. Glad to see you keep coming out. Also good to see Insomniac and Fireman Ed over on our side of town. Welcome back to Lumberjack, who managed to not only get up to Everest Base Camp, but get back down as well. He claims that Mountain Climbers are in fact a help if you ever find yourself over that way.

Days like today are ones I look to and think that I’m lucky to meet up with you guys every week and put in some work. It’s a privilege to be a Site Q for the best dang group in Area 51.

Now I’m just waiting for the next email from Benny as he’ll want to secure a date ASAP for his actual full return to F3 later this fall. I’m sure it’s coming soon.

Pre-blast: #CONCERT4BENNY at Peak 51

Hey, what are you doing on Thursday? While there are a lot of high-quality workouts throughout Area 51, you should really show up to Peak 51, as we have a special Q — our brother Benny will be on Q.

Kinda sorta.

As a refresher, Benny was hit by a car back around MLK Day President’s Day on a training run for a marathon. Which one? That’s hard to remember, because as we all know, Benny had about 167 different races and events he was training for at the time. Anyway, after the accident, he had to have surgery to insert some metal rods in his leg and has been on the road to recovery ever since.

But, as for this Thursday, he had requested the date earlier this year, before the accident, as it’s the 1-year anniversary of his VQ.

So, we’re going to honor that, and honor him.

Benny has crafted a #Weinke, and Sensei and YHC will be leading the PAX through it. #SpoilerAlert: Jack Webb is on the list.

We’re also about 98 percent sure he’s going to come out for COT at the end. Obviously, a lot depends on how his legs are doing Thursday morning, but, he’s going to do his best to get out.

Also, YHC is trying to call in some favors to have Sir Elton John show up for a special live performance of “Candle in the Wind.” It’s not looking great, but a lot can change between now and Thursday.

Anyway, here’s to hoping you’ll show up just to show your support and show him that he’s missed, plus you’ll get a quality workout, which will feature Jack Webb.

So, show up to Matthews Elementary School on Thursday:

  • The Slim Fast 5K of Excellence (aka the pre-run) kicks off at 4:50am.
  • The #Concert4Benny main event starts at 5:30am.
  • COT with our brothers from Sparta at 6:15am.


Puttin’ in the work

Editor’s Note: Lois posting on behalf of Sensei, who is still in shock that Slim Fast used the term “parabola” at one point during this workout. 

13 men gathered in the Matthews Elementary parking lot on a random Thursday in April to get their day started right. The disclaimer was given, and we took off for the following.

Mosey to the basketball court for COP

  • SSH x 20
  • Hillbillies x 15
  • Merkins x 10
  • LSS x 20

Mosey to the baseball field for Jacob’s Ladder:

  • Run from one foul line to the other and do 10 Merkins
  • Run to the other foul line and do 10 Squats

Repeato decreasing Merkins/Squats by 1 until done

Mosey to the bleachers for:

  • Step Ups x 20 (10 each leg)
  • Dips x 15
  • Incline Merkins x 10

Repeato substituting Decline Merkins

Mosey over to the parking lot for Starfish:

  • Middle – Burpees x 5
  • 1st Corner – CDD x 10 (4 count)
  • 2nd Corner – Lunges x 20 (10 each leg)
  • 3rd Corner – LBC x 10 (4 count)
  • 4th Corner – Flutter x 10 (4 count)

That was so nice we did it twice.

We then found our way to the wall for PC

  • Arm Raises x 50 (Too fast for Swiss Miss)
  • Repeato (Slower count per Swiss Miss)
  • BTTW, hold while each PAX does 1 Decline Merkin while on the wall

I heard “That wasn’t so bad.” So we did it again.

Mosey back to launch point and we’re finished. I heard someone say 1.8 miles done.


  • Shepherd’s father recently passed
  • Lumberjack returning home from Everest (w/ video of a Burpee at 18k feet)
  • Booyah’s father recovering from his recent stroke

Remember these requests in your prayers please.


Every week we meet, and the temps are somewhere in the 40’s. Each week we say something to the effect of “This is hopefully the last week of this.” Maybe one week it will be true. Though living in NC I think we all fear jumping from the 40’s and no humidity to 60’s and 80% humidity.

It was warm enough (relatively speaking) for a Snoopy sighting. Welcome back sir. Apparently Snoopy is like Camp Snoopy at Carowinds and only around during warmer weather.

Also great to see Simba and Swiss Miss back out. Hopefully you guys can make Peak a part of your regular schedule again.

We started out w/ Jacob’s Ladder to see how gassed I could get everyone. Tweetsie/Nomad kept saying something about coffee so they must not have been running hard enough. I’m not sure if Smokey was talking or not, he was so far out in front nobody knows.

Thanks to Nomad, Slim Fast and Tweetsie for the pre-run. 0450 every week this happens for those that want to join us.

Thanks for the takeout Smokey.

I didn’t hear a ton of chatter this morning. Please chime in with any other observations.


After a couple of days of decent temperatures, the cold settled in over Matthews Elementary this fine Thursday morning. Apparently, Slim Fast’s voodoo weather doll that keeps the rain away at Peak 51 doesn’t control the temperature. We gotta see about getting him an upgrade.

Anyway, slightly chillier temps did not keep 10 hearty PAX from making the best first choice of the day by showing up to Peak.

After a decent disclaimer, we took off, heading to the back church lot by way of the front of the church. Let’s circle up at the top end near the church and get this thing started:


  • Side-straddle hops x20 IC
  • Imperial Walkers x20 IC
  • Mountain climbers x20 IC
  • Low, slow squat x20 IC


First up, let’s line up for the Peak 51 staple of suicides. Wait, don’t we usually start these at the bottom of the hill? Yeah, but we’re changing things this week. You get the final return leg going uphill! You’re welcome.

Three sets of suicides to get the blood flowing, with some planking in between.

Next up, mosey to the bus lot and the track. YHC starts explaining our main event while the six rolls in. Today, we’re doing something a little different — a mini-Murph.

Now, the full-on Murph consists of a 1-mile run, 100 pull-ups, 200 push-ups, 300 squats and another mile. Oh, and it’s timed.

Given that the lower half of YHC’s body is still not quite fully recovered from Thrive a couple of days ago, the running part is definitely getting cut down. And given that YHC missed his timed mile goal by 3 seconds at Mountain Goat a few weeks ago, timed things are still a sore subject.

So here’s what we’re going to do:

1 lap around the Outback Trail (TM) track

Then, 5 sets of:

  • 10 pull-ups (regular or supine)
  • 20 merkins
  • 30 squats

Once you are finished with your 5th set, 1 lap around the Outback Trail (TM) track.

Regroup in the parking lot. Plank until the six comes in, then do some LBCs.

Next up, let’s mosey to the hill by the baseball field.

Now apparently there was some #mumblechatter that we would not do any sort of hill work, because apparently YHC has a reputation of avoiding hill things at all costs.

Actually, that’s pretty accurate.

But, again, we’re changing things up today. So let’s do a triple nickel:

  • Bottom of hill, 5 lunges (1 lunge = 1 left, 1 right)
  • Top of hill, 5 Carolina Dry Docks
  • Five times

Once that’s done, mosey back to launch. Find a spot on the sidewalk next to the wall, where the pavement isn’t “bed of nails” quality, and let’s do some Mary.

  • Flutter
  • Freddie Mercury … including an uphill portion
  • Rosalita

Annnnnnd … we are done.


Count-o-rama, name-o-rama, announcements, takeout by Tweetsie



Richard Sheltra run — Saturday, April 28 in Pineville. 10K and 5K options. I’m sure the Right Honourable Lord Spiritual and Temporal of Pineville Dumpster Fire would love to have you come out.

Also — want to Q at Peak? Yes, you do. Please get in touch with me and/or Sensei, before we sign you up. The calendar is wide open.


First up, an update — I got up with Benny earlier this week. He and I checked out “Ready Player One,” which I highly recommend. Engaging story, interesting commentary on the role of reality vs. digital reality and a metric ton of 1980s pop culture references.

He is doing well — currently he has a walker, but he can scoot around, and is working toward a cane. His spirits are predictably high and he sends his best to all y’all. Shoot him a text, or, better yet, find a time to go pay him a visit.

Anyway, so with today’s workout — we started off with a pleasant surprise of Early Bird and Entourage. Good to see those familiar faces.

We technically started 30 seconds late because of #mumblechatter regarding the end of the NCAA Tournament and whether a perfect bracket existed. Bullwinkle I think got the idea that one did exist from, but I can’t be certain.

The chatter was still strong such that people stopped counting during COP, well, except for Slim Fast. Thanks for maintaining some degree of F3 decorum.

We had to split up amongst two playground sets for the bulk of the mini-Murph. I know there wasn’t much chatter on our end, aside from a lot of grunts and groans and such.

During the triple nickel, Slim Fast and I were talking BBQ. He apparently is trying his hand at making some pulled pork this weekend, so, he will be rubbing a butt on Friday at some point. Wish him luck in all of his butt-rubbing endeavors.

I hope everyone enjoyed our mini-Murph. I feel like breaking it up into sets makes it a little more digestible. After a couple of weeks of run-heavy, off-campus work, I wanted to keep us close to home, and, seriously, my abs and quads are still a little off-kilter. Note to the wise, if you venture into Union County and find Glass Joe on Q, just go somewhere else.

It is a privilege to lead this group as Co-Site Q and it’s always fun to lead a workout here as well. You guys make it awesome week after week.

Sound off with any missed mumblechatter in the comments!

Spring Break = Road Trip!

Editor’s note: Lois posting on behalf of Sensei. He apparently has already partied too hard on Spring Break …

10 fine men…

Well, gentlemen…

Well 10 men gathered at Peak 51 today to see what the first day of CMS spring break would behold. I guess it was the fact that it was finally shorts & t-shirts weather, or the excitement for spring break, or something since the mumble chatter started immediately. I’m not sure that anyone actually heard the disclaimer, but it is good enough for my mail order lawyer so we took off for the following.

The theme was spring break, so we moseyed to the parking lot beside Mac’s for COP. When leaving on a road trip you must eat well before you head out.

  • SSH x 20
  • IW x 20
  • Squats x 20

Then we went across John St. to the Post Office. One might possibly send a post card to Mom and Dad while on break telling them how it is quiet, you are getting studying done, etc.

  • 10 Burpees OYO
  • Merkins x 10

We then left out of the back of the Post Office, up Charles St. and stopped at the Pizza Peel. Spring break, pizza, beer, ‘nuf said. Everyone partnered up for the following.

  • P1 does 10 Merkins, P2 does 10 LBCs
  • Flapjack w/ P1 doing 10 LBCs and P2 doing 10 Merkins
  • Repeato decreasing Merkins and LBCs until 1 each

Next stop was the library because…Well everyone agreed that spring break and the library had absolutely nothing in common. Much like studying, ab work is necessary but never fun.

  • Flutters x 15
  • Dolly x 15
  • Rosalita x 15

Partner Up

  • P1 run one way around traffic circle, P2 run the opposite direction
  • When you meet halfway, do 15 Squats, then continue around
  • Meet on the other side and do 15 CDDs

Repeato x 3 times

We then moseyed up to Trade St. and gazed longingly upon Brakeman’s Coffee before heading back towards the launch point. We detoured to Stumptown Park for some bench work.

  • Step Ups x 20 (10 each leg)
  • Dips x 15
  • Incline Merkins x 10

Repeato substituting Decline Merkins.

Head back across the street to the launch point where we practiced sprinting away from ALE officers. Tweetsie had to explain what these were, so obviously this is something he has much experience with.

3 rounds of AYG (about 50 yards) with a mosey recovery.

Finally we made it back to the launch point with 90 seconds remaining. We did nice slow Merkins until time was called.


  • Brew Ruck event this Saturday in Rock Hill. Reach out to Geraldo for further info.
  • Best of luck to Lumberjack on his trek to Mt. Everest to support LLS. He promised to get a video of him doing a Burpee at 18,000 feet and share it with everyone.
  • Richard Sheltra coming up the end of April.


Where to begin? YHC has been a part of F3 for almost 4 years now, and have never overslept. This is especially true when I was the Q, since, well let’s be honest, the excitement always has us up way before time to leave. Maybe knowing that someone is sitting in my driveway waiting on me has always been a good motivating factor for me as well. Today was a first, as I slept through my alarm and 2 texts from Slim Fast before my phone rang. “Are you coming or are you going to sleep all day.”

Fortunately I remembered to stuff my Weinke in my shorts on the way out the door and made it in time for an abbreviated prerun. Thanks Geraldo, Nomad and Tweetsie for waiting on me.

Nice work by everyone today. We got in about 2.2 miles. Myself, Slim Fast, Nomad, Lois and Tweetsie had a post workout coffee at Brakeman’s.

Excellent takeout by Slim Fast. God created the heavens and the earth, Mt. Everest and everything in between. We should all stop and appreciate the creations and wonders that are all around us.

In YHC’s reading this week, I have spent time thinking of how 2,000 years ago Jesus knowingly and willingly walked to his death for each one of us. He is fully God and fully man, so was feeling the same emotions we would feel, and He did it anyways. We all know the Easter story, but my challenge to everyone is to stop for more than a moment and try to let that set in. We can never thank Him enough for grace, but we can do what He asked of us, go spread the good news. I hope everyone has a good Easter. He is risen. He is risen, indeed.

Sinister six

Today, 13 gathered at Area 51’s most macho workout to pound the pavement around Christ Covenant Church and do things with kettlebells.

YHC disclaimed — it was from the heart and during COP it was called “sweet” — and we were off …


  • 5 swings OYO
  • SSH x20 IC
  • 10 swings OYO
  • IW x20 IC
  • 15 swings OYO
  • LSS x20 IC
  • 15 swings OYO
  • Mountain climbers x20 IC
  • 20 swings OYO

During COP, YHC realized he messed up his swing increases, as it was supposed to be a predictor of what was ahead. Oh well.

Partner up, and play Catch Me If You Can down to the courtyard in between the two staircases of doom. Chaser does 5 jump squats before chasing.


Meet in the courtyard. This is pretty simple. YHC calls an exercise, do 5 reps of said exercise there in the courtyard. Mosey around the church with your bell, stop at the next entrance (indicated by the gigantic Celtic cross, and, you know, doors) and do 10 reps of said exercise.

Wait, did he say “with your bell”? Sure did.

Anyway, mosey to the next entrance, 15 reps, mosey to the last entrance, 20 reps, then recover mosey back to the courtyard.

  • Round 1: Curls
  • Round 2: Good Mornings
  • Round 3: Upright row
  • Round 4: Lunges (each leg counts as 1)
  • Round 5: Overhead press
  • Round 6: Squats (goblet, teabag, whatever)

We did some LBCs after round 3. We did Freddy Mercury and Flutters after round 4 (I think it was 4).

After finishing the 20-rep stop on the squats, mosey back to launch.

Back at launch, do LBCs until the Q calls time — 30 seconds later, we’re done.


Counting, naming, praying.



Baracus had something to say, and he said it.


Now, there’s a saying around my household: “Those who can read have a great advantage in life.” Now, I know reading my various ping-ponging thoughts on Twitter dot com, a free website, can be a little hard, but, I did say in a Tweet yesterday: “You might err on the side of a traveling bell.” I consider that an adequate warning.

The workout started with a fair amount of mumblechatter — Baracus commended me on my SSH and IW form, comparing me to the absent Bulldog. [Insert Joker “Not Sure if Serious” meme here]

I knew this workout was going to be a pain in the, well, everywhere, but the PAX were up to the challenge. Since the pack generally stayed together, there was even some strategy involved in surviving this big, dumb workout …

“Smokey, don’t run so fast.”
“Whoever finishes first has to do Turkish Get-Ups.”
“Smokey, slow down.”
“We don’t have to run, you guys.”
“Smokey, why are you in a hurry?”

I think it was Baracus who came up with the idea of continuing to move while doing the overhead presses, as starting and stopping was becoming more of an issue. BLC also just smartly modified and left his bell behind on the lunge round. Stone Cold lobbied for as much Mary as possible. I tried not to overindulge his wishes.

Any other mumblechatter I might’ve missed, please sound off in the comments!

Excellent job all around. It was a tough slog, but, that’s what we just call “Tuesday” here at Skunk. Thanks to Chin Music and Blazing Saddles for the opportunity to lead this bunch of #HIM. I know I’m stronger in every sense of the word every single week thanks to all y’all (if Bulldog is reading this, that means “everybody” in American).

Now, if you’ll pardon me, I am going to go not grip things for a few days.

Romancing the stone

Eight of the finest PAX in Union County and the hinterlands of South Charlotte descended on Stallings Elementary for today’s installment of Conviction, ready to rock and roll.

Rock and roll? Yeah, YHC is going to try and limit the rock-related puns going forward.

So, after a heartfelt disclaimer, there was a warm-up mosey, winding through the launch-side parking lot.

Time to circle up:


  • Side-Straddle Hops x 20 IC
  • Imperial Walkers x 20 IC
  • Low, Slow Squat x 20 IC
  • Mountain Climbers x 15 IC
  • Arm circles, going forward x 10 IC
  • Arm circles, going backward x 10 IC


Head to the rock pile. PAX were instructed to grab a rock, but to choose it carefully. Get a rock that is good for travel, yet will give you a challenge to do exercises. Basically, don’t choose the “Regerts Rock” from last week.

Rocks chosen, mosey to the bus lot.

PAX put the rocks down to receive instructions. Start at the corner by the bench, do the called exercise and number of reps, mosey (with your rock) to the next corner and repeato, mosey to the next corner and repeato, mosey to the next corner and repeato, and recover mosey back to the starting corner and wait for the six.

Pretty easy, right? Well, the reason there so much emphasis on wisely choosing your rock is because there was one little tiny catch …

Once you pick up your rock to start, you can’t put it down for the duration of the workout.

No pavement, no grass, no bench, no sidewalk. YHC has to give it to the PAX, there were many contingencies thrown out, all of which were denied. Now, YHC didn’t say there couldn’t be creative ways to find rest, like resting the rock on a foot or knee or whatever. If you put down your rock, you must do 5 burpees on the spot. Add an extra burpee for any subsequent violation. Modify as needed.

Okay, let’s go …

  • Round 1: 20 curls at each corner
  • Round 2: 20 squats at each corner
  • Round 3: 15 overhead presses at corner
  • Round 4: 15 tricep extensions at each corner
  • Round 5: 10 flutter presses at each corner
  • Round 6: 5 Louganis at each corner

After each round, recite the Rockman’s Creed:

This is my rock. There are many like it, but this one is mine. My rock is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.

Without me, my rock is useless. Without my rock, I am useless. I must lift my rock true.

Before God, I swear this creed.

Actually, we didn’t do the creed, but, that’s good, right?

After the final round, dump your rock in the gravel area by the playground and head to the wall.

Sit down in the People’s Chair. Arms out and hold it. Then 50 air presses, civilian count. Recover. Repeato.

Alright, grab your rock, mosey back to the rock pile. Throw rock angrily into the pile. Mosey back to launch for some Mary.

  • 25 LBCs OYO
  • 20 Heels to Heaven IC

Time called.


Count off, name off, announcements, takeout.



Run Jen Run 5K this weekend. There’s a beer tent.

Jabberwocky on Q next week.


Do you ever look at your #Weinke in the morning before heading out and just think to yourself, “Man, I really don’t want to do this.”? That was me this morning, as my body was quite sore after a rep-heavy kettlebell workout at Skunk Works the morning before. But, I was locked in.

Before officially starting, there was much discussion of college basketball, given the finish of last night’s UNC-Miami game. There was also gnashing of teeth related to the fact that the ACC Tournament is being held in Brooklyn this year. Being a Gamecock, this is of less concern to me, although my conference faces a similar phenomenon this year …

Bullwinkle: “Where’s the SEC Tournament this year?”

Lois: “The heart of SEC country!”

Bullwinkle: “Atlanta?”

Lois: “St. Louis.”

Now, apparently I wasn’t the only one beat up by the prior day’s workout. There was a lot of mumblechatter about yesterday’s Thrive — something about improper tallying related to the Thrive Challenge. Perhaps there was interference from Russia? #FakeNews

When I said “there’s a catch” before explaining the rule about not putting it down, there was an audible groan. There was an even louder groan when Bullwinkle asked about the penalty.

I think everyone was well oriented with his own rock by the end. Perhaps even an intimate connection made. Jabberwocky and his rock I think were destined for couple’s counseling early on. I myself realized about 10 curls in that I perhaps made a poor decision with regards to my own rock.

Now, I didn’t see any of this, but there were calls of “shenanigans” early on, perhaps levied at eHarmony? Now, of course, “shenanigans” sent me and Bullwinkle into a temporary fit of quoting “Super Troopers.” #Meow #LiterOfCola

Everyone really pushed themselves this morning. It was truly designed to be challenging, but also easily modifiable for each PAX to adjust to his own ability. The catch of not putting it down wasn’t designed so much to increase the difficulty, but just keep you on your toes … or in some cases, the rock on your toes.

Gypsy was out front for most of it, but always going back to make sure everyone was doing well. Sticky Note I gather is still relatively new to F3, but, he was knocking it out. With all of the mumblechatter and grumblechatter, the morning just flew by.

Thanks for the opportunity to lead this group of #HIM.

Get in the mood

9 PAX decided to show up to the Scout Hut Love Shack this morning to reset and recover at Gumby.

Admittedly, when YHC was informed he was Q this morning, his mind instantly reverted back to the age of 13. How many lame jokes and innuendos could be made, given that we would be in all kinds of odd bodily positions here on Valentine’s Day?

First up, however, a serious note — there is a devotional to get to.

In addition to Valentine’s Day, it is Ash Wednesday, marking the beginning of the Lenten season. Now, YHC, not growing up in a churched home, and currently being a “low church” kind of guy over at Carmel Baptist, the idea of a formal liturgical calendar is a little foreign. But, the magic of the Google machine turned up this devotional from BGEA on Ash Wednesday that is good for anyone looking to recognize and celebrate the season. YHC did have to edit for brevity for the in-person crowd, so, please go to the site and read the full thing.

And if you have any issues, call the BGEA call center and ask for Tweetsie personally. He’ll be happy to field your input.

Okay, now that we have THAT out of the way … there’s only one way to fully appreciate today’s BB, and you should do so by pushing play below:

So, we have the mood music … and the lights were turned off and we were Bambi-lamping this morning. The heat in the Love Shack was on and pumping. Let’s do this …


Corpse pose


Start moving your arms and legs, stretch arms over your head.

Windshield wipers, left and right. Holding one side each for a few breaths, then flapjack.

Bridge x5

Sit up, and flutter the wings of love, aka the butterfly. Push knees to the floor, as low as you can go.

Leave right leg tucked in, straighten out left leg and lean in toward your foot. Flapjack. Then put both legs out and grab your feet.

Head to Table Top.

Cat and cow, using your breathing as a guide

Odell Beckham with right leg, first out, then making circles clockwise, then counter-clockwise. Flapjack.

Remain in Table Top, and do the Bird Dog, left leg out, right arm out … flapjack.

Up to mountain.

Two guided Sun Salutations …

  • Stretch up
  • Forward fold
  • Halfway lift
  • Plank
  • Lower down to Chattanooga, or whatever that fancy word is that Witch Doctor uses for six-inch plank #Professional
  • Up dog
  • Down dog

At down dog, we did some 3-legged dog and cheetah with the right leg. On the second run through, we did this with the left leg.

3 more SS OYO, meet in Mountain.

From Mountain, sit down in your chair. Arms up, then straight out, then kick right leg out into the Dancer pose. Throw in a quad stretch if you so desire.

Back in chair, arms out, then up, then recover.

1 SS OYO, then repeato on chair flow, switching legs on the Dancer pose.

Another SS OYO, then time to do the Cupid Shuffle. No, not the popular line dance done at only the finest weddings and dances, we’re rebranding the Warrior poses as “Cupid,” since he had arrows and stuff.

Oh, wait, do you need some more Barry? Yes, you do.

Okay, now that we’ve recharged … let’s go:

  • Cupid 1
  • Cupid 2 (lean forward if you like)
  • Peaceful Cupid
  • Cupid 2

Then, turn and face the wall for star pose, lower down to the mat. Walk your hands back toward your six, then over to the left leg, then the right leg. After that, back to the middle, left hand on the floor, rotate over and reach up with your right arm. Flapjack. YHC was particularly inflexible on this move this morning.

Come back up into star, then back into Cupid 2, Cupid 1, mountain.


Repeato the Cupid 1, 2, Peaceful, 2 flow on the other side. Once again, back into Star, lower down, then into Ninja. Bend your left leg and sit back on your left heel, right leg stretched out and right foot flexed up. Flapjack. This was popular amongst the PAX, given the grunting and groaning.

Slowly come up, back to Cupid 2, Cupid 1, mountain.

1 SS OYO, stopping at down dog.

From down dog, kick right leg out and bring it through to Pigeon. Keep that leg perpendicular — although the question was asked, “Perpendicular to what?”. Get down on your elbows. Slowly unwind back to down dog, then flapjack with pigeon on the other side.

Kick back into down dog, then finish up that SS.

On your six, bring your knees up, give them a hug. Roll around to get out the tension in your back.

Finish on a happy note. Happy baby, that is.

Corpse. Devo redux.


Count off … Name-o-rama … COT.

Oh hey, since it’s Valentine’s Day, and YHC is on a bit of a sugar/carb detox, feel free to grab some chocolate hearts gifted to YHC on your way out.



CPR training, if you’ve signed up, is Saturday at Providence Road Church of Christ. If you have signed up, make sure Madison has your $$$. T-claps to him for taking the lead on this initiative, and look for future opportunities to take the training and become certified — Madison did say more would be coming.


I did try and have a little fun this morning without going too overboard with the puns. I hope it was well received. Also, I hope that everyone enjoyed our soundtrack, which was, yes, Barry White Radio on Pandora. A definite departure from our usual Zamfiresque offerings.

When Paper Jam walked in, he asked if there would be any candy or flowers, given it is Valentine’s Day. Glad I could come up with at least half of that. Also, he saw my Barry White musical gambit coming … was hoping to keep that a surprise.

I did bring the M’s new Bluetooth speaker she received for Christmas, in lieu of my tinny keychain speaker. I like to think it helped set the mood. No complaints from the usual peanut gallery on that one.

The mood was enough where at one point, it looked like Paper Jam was getting up to take off his pants.

Glad to have Beaver show up — is he site FNG, or just back for the first time in a while?

As always, it was an honor to lead you guys. Thanks to Swiss and Tweetsie for the opportunity. Hope it was fun and functional.

Until next time, play us out Barry ….

The one-armed man did it

Lois posting on behalf of Dora … well, actually, because of time constraints, anything related to the workout itself is Dora. The rest of it is relying on Lois’ spotty memory.

So, the biggest thing about today’s workout — since Dora was nursing an injured shoulder, we avoided pretty much any semblance of upper-body work. Anything that could be done with only one arm, we did it that way.

One-armed Fun Run to and around the bus lot with:
  • High Knees,
  • Butt Kickers,
  • Karaoke Left,
  • Back Pedal, and
  • Karaoke Right
COP (in cadence):
  • 15 One-armed Side-straddle Hops
  • 15 One-armed Squats
  • 15 One-armed Mountain Climbers


Count off by 4s for the…

One-armed, Four-legged Starfish of Death:

  • 3 Rounds,
  • 4 Teams,
  • 4 Exercises,
  • 15 Reps in Cadence,
  • Return to center between exercises for a Team High-Five,
  • Plank up at end of Round.

Round 1:

  • One-armed LBCs,
  • One-armed Squats,
  • One-armed Flutter Kicks,
  • One-armed Lunges
  • Mosey out, Mosey back, Plank, #GeraldoTenCount

Round 2:

  • One-armed Hello Dollys,
  • One-armed Star Jacks,
  • One-armed Rosalitas,
  • One-armed Jump Lunges
  • Sprint out, Back Pedal back, (2 Team High-Fives in the center),


Round 3:

  • See Round 1
  • #MADTenCount

One-armed Mosey “over there” for 3 Rounds of:

  • 5 Sets of One-armed Jane Fonda Step Ups
  • 30-Second One-armed People’s Chair
  • Plank up at the end.

One-armed Mosey back to SP #TookTheLongWay



Ummm … yeah, I don’t really remember. Slim Fast conscripting for BRR 2018. Beware.


At the beginning of the workout, you could see the wheels turning in some of our heads as Dora said there would be no upper-body work. Hey great, no upper-body wor …. wait …. so all legs and core? Oh boy. This could get interesting.

The team starfish was a great variation on a F3 standard. Some of the team high-fives were, well, let’s just all be thankful no video cameras were present. My own team, with Tweetsie and Smokey, was a fantastic combo. Arguably our least-favorite exercise was the jump lunges/Sister Mary Katherines, although Smokey showed us he knew more about “Superstar” than you might have guessed. Smokey also showed us all up by taking Geraldo’s ruck halfway through the starfish.

During the step-ups, Geraldo brought up that musical classic from the 1980s, “Opposites Attract” by Paula Abdul (with MC Skat Kat). This was fun, although it was well past lunch before the song escaped my head.

Also, in between starfish sets, Dora participated in the planking … one arming it the whole time.

Kotters to Cocktail and MAD. Also, there were 13 PAX present. There are only 12 in the list. That’s because I could only remember 12. For the love of all that’s holy in this world, someone please point out who I am missing in the comments, because it’s driving me nuts.

T-claps to Dora for an excellent lead. Fireman Ed next week. Will Benny show up, since Fireman Ed all but guarantees an appearance of his favorite exercise? #JackWebb #MarathonTrainingThough

Sensei and I appreciate each and every one of you that come out on Thursdays. I know we are biased, but, you guys make this the best workout in Area 51 week after week. You guys live out the idea of iron sharpening iron, and we’re all the better for it.

Seriously though … who am I missing on the PAX list? AAAAAAAHHHHHH!

Update: 0928 Friday morning — I have been informed that Pele was the elusive 13th PAX. Cobains for the confusion.