Author Archive JRR Tolkien


Summary, Thang, Moleskine, and Everything Your Heart Desires from a Backblast…

22 men showed up to play with some man-strollers…. boy-toyz… this isn’t working.  Let’s just call them what they are… SPEED FOR NEED racing chariots.  Fresh off his sub-20 minute 5k, Benny got there early intent on falling on his face at least once more to make himself prettier… um faster.  Disclaimer and Operating Instructions… left a couple of minutes late because YHC likes to hear the sound of his own voice.  It’s sexxxy like that. And old ladies at home and less old ladies at Ear, Nose, and Throat Doctors offices waiting rooms around Charlotte were serenaded by it for all of 2 minutes yesterday on FOX Good Morning Charlotte ( ) #MongolTV.  Mosey down Woodfox Drive to where Fireman Ed lives on Burning Tree Drive.  We did 5 laps of the cul-de-sac loop alternating pushing the chariots filled with 50-80lbs of weight.  There was a strange banging noise coming from the general direction of Ed’s bedroom… and some panting. But alas, it was just Cheese Curd huffing and stomping his rucking legs around the circle, he was working hard. Nothing to see here.  Next over to the steep hill on Rising Meadows Road for 5 trips up and down with the racing chairs, alternating between PAX. Backwards run halfway to top if not pushing.  Hillz Part Deaux: 3 or 4 trips up to the top, this time pushing a PAX AYG to the top (switch halfway if needed).  Turkey Leg helped simulate a small child Track Commander riding in the chariot Marathon Day.  He kept playing that role when we were done with the workout… the small child. The guy can flat out act, and stay in character!   Back towards launch for some speed work (aka time filler).  Sprint down Strawberry lane from one speed bump to the next, with instruction from YHC to try and beat the chariots.  Purell and Lorax… you completely failed the test.  You won the “Least Willing to Care About Anyone But Yourself Award” for finishing ahead of the racing chair, while the rest of us didn’t take the bait, and finished behind.  Redefining #HIM the wrong way… High INDIVIDUAL Men.  Finish off with 35 Merkin Ladder (regular/wide/diamond/R-hand Fwd/L-hand Fwd/R-leg up/L-Leg up) really only because Mr Brady was there and YHC wanted his male hormone dispenser to re-simulate the BRR a year ago… or was it this year… both? By doing a strength exercise. Eh whatever.  Finito! Thanks Haze for the takeout. YHC will tag the South Charlotte Twitter handle a few less times for it… but you won’t be able to tell.

More musings: Breaking news… Alf is not helpful. In fact he’s something that rhymes with BRICK…. Yup, he did have a little cough this morning.. SICK!  His efforts to coordinate the marathon relay were negated 10x by releasing the inventory amount of SPEED FOR NEED shirts sitting in YHC office… 526.  Did YHC mention it’s the second highest selling shirt in all of F3 Nation? YUP* it is.  YHC didn’t recognize One Eye this morning… mixed him up in the group of 35-45yr old white guys that showed this morning, except Margo who hasn’t stopped growing his Movember since last year. Men’s health all day every day! Poptart…. excuse me, Rachel is… the model of men’s health. They both are models really, BEFORE and AFTER.  Thanks Madison for coming and preaching more SPEED FOR NEED… YHC will unblock you one day, since it’s so irritating my feed is littered with your Tweets. Ok, would love to stay and provide more candor in this backblast, but time to get home to trick-or-treat…. My son is Indiana Jones, and YHC knows because of the whip mark on my back from the “toy”.


Tolkien’s Thoughts (the somewhat serious part)

Thanks for having me out this morning, and thanks everyone for your support, big or small for SPEED FOR NEED.  Sometimes I can get emotional in presence of my brothers because you guys are my family, my outlet, and I appreciate being able to have that in my life, and hope you all feel like at some point you can confide in another brother and feel like F3 is true community as well.

Here is a segment of the backblast I wrote for Lake Norman’s Amazing Grace 5K Race, the only race I have pushed in so far, but thought it would be good to share with the group.

“When I think about it, our being at the Amazing Grace Race was no accident. It was God giving us a gentle reminder, in the midst of so much short term success and exuberance, of why SPEED FOR NEED exists.  It was about Him refocusing us on what SPEED FOR NEED is really about: to be there and help the community, with the gifts He has given us… our time, our money, our fitness, our kindness, and for SPEED FOR NEED, our racing chariots.  A reminder that each of us can make a small difference wherever we are at, whether it’s a 15,000 person race or just a few hundred.  A reminder that when we feel burdened by soccer games taking up every Saturday, that there is a mother and father out there that will never see their child kick a ball, since they’re immobilized in a wheelchair.  SPEED FOR NEED isn’t about having 50+ F3 Nation runners signed up to get the largest team award.  It’s not about how fast we can push our Track Commanders to the finish line.  And it’s not about how many people watch our Youtube videos or like our Facebook page.  It’s about continuing to help the community one person at a time.”

Announcements & Events

  • 11/11/2017 Charlotte Marathon Relay – looking forward to running with you men. Good luck on those hills. Message me if you want a SFN shirt $20 and/or if you want to run alongside the racing chairs in the event.
  • 1/6/2018 Joe Davis 10K / 5K: Today is the last day to sign up for the Joe Davis 10K and 5K and save $5 on pricing. In addition, Rock Thrill will donate $10 of his own money for everyone who signs up today, as well as do 10 burpees for each man that signs up, in honor of his fallen brother Joe, whom this race is in memory of.  For those of you newer to F3, consider this race a HC every year. It easily draws the most F3 men and FiA women from all regions in the Charlotte area.
  • Few other things… can’t remember. I’d refer you to the newsletter . Speaking of the newsletter, there are 1,252 recipients but only 369 opens (~30%)and 4.3 click rate. Cmon fellas get involved. Read what’s happening in our region, get involved and make F3 more than a workout. You’ll not regret it.

SYITG ~JRR Tolkien

Blame it on F3 Dads Camp


Usually, YHC is spot on with writing a legit backblast (well aside from Ragnar 2016, which it’s disputable if YHC was even responsible for writing it) but between attending The PGA Championship Thursday for work, a 3:50AM wakeup to Q in Gastonia Friday, all day prepping SPEED FOR NEED racing chairs for F3Dads Camp, and the camp itself Friday – Sunday, this backblast was never going to be written on time. Hey, thank me for not having us push the racing chairs with each other in it up the Murderhorn for 45minutes!  But thanks to the 16 guys who came out to get their hands on the SPEED FOR NEED chariots and get a feel for what our charity is all about. Thank you for your support.



Here’s the deal.. it’s tough to come up with a tough bootcamp workout utilizing the racing chairs that’s not all running. So we ran a bunch of sprints with the racing chair to get a feel for what it would feel like to push them in a race, but mixed in some exercises with the green theraband resistance band to mix it up.  YHC introduced the Mongolian FireDrill, which involved each member of a team pushing and riding at least once, until the destination is reached. It was only appropriate for the Mongol’s Team to have won today.


YHC is nearly 40 (October), and losing memory fast… so the fact that this workout was on Thursday, after a long weekend of sleep depravation, and F3 Dads Camp shenanigans means nothing about the workout was retained… or not much. YHC does remember Nemo being dead last on the sprints and saw his arms shaking like two spaghetti noodles on the exercises, and his dad Marlin holding Nemo’s hair back when he was puking, after he double-backed for him.  Frehley’s like the sprints, or appears to, until he pulls a hammy and gets membership to CORE or Silver Bullet workouts for double-respects. Ease up bro!  Great to see Garbage Plate out there at BOTH of my past Q’s… put in the comments how you got your name will ya?  YHC thinks of my daily lunch of cookies, pizza, Dr. Pepper…. diet, and a Nutty Bar as a Garbage Plate.  Thanks to Strawberry Heartbreaker for caring enough about me to show up at his site for my Q.

P.S….. as bad as this BackBlast was… sadly it’s still probably in the top 50% of backblasts written.  But YHC will do better next time.


  • LISTEN UP! Now that you are ALL trained in driving these chariots, make sure you show up on Saturday 9/30/2017 for the Inaugural South Charlotte / SOB SPEED FOR NEED Race the Isabella Santos 5K in Ballantyne Corporate Park. It just isn’t an option for you to not show up as a either a runner or supporter.  Run your own race for a PR, run with/behind a racing chariot and an athlete-rider, run with your family, or just show up and cheer like crazy for our rider and represent F3 Nation to over 1,000+ runners and many more spectators in the heart of where SOB has not one, not two, not three, but FOUR workouts a week. Fire Hazard and Buckeye are your event-Q’s and here is their preblast ( PREBLAST for Isabella Santos 5K ). Failure to show will mean Buckeye will tear your limbs off, and Fire Hazard will pour freshly brewed sour beer over the fresh wounds.  And I won’t stop either of them, because… well, you’ll deserve it for being so selfish.

~SYITG JRR Tolkien

PB – SPEEDFORNEED Miles For Matthew 5K & 10K – Greensboro,NC – 9/30/17

SPEEDFORNEED!!!! Jamestown, High Point, Kvegas, and Dash Pax, Natville Pax will be hosting SPEEDFORNEED at Miles for Matthew.  SPEEDFORNEED is an F3NATION initiative that allows persons with disabilities to participate in fitness events utilizing custom racing chairs built from OUR donations.  If you’d like more information, then visit the official site

  • What:     Miles for Matthew 5k & 10K
  • When:   8:30AM Saturday 9/30/2017
  • Where: Lindley Park Elementary / 2700 Camden Rd / Greensboro, NC
  • Who:     All F3 Nation PAX are invited to participate and/or come support our athlete-riders in this race
  • Why:     Supporting Parent Project Muscular Dystrophy via Run for Our Sons, in an effort to fund research for a viable treatment for boys living with Duchenne muscular dystrophy.
  • Signup:

“Matthew is an 11 year old boy from Greensboro who loves reading, history, animals, sports, especially football and the Carolina Panthers.  He is curious, brave, determined and has the most infectious laugh. He also happens to have Duchenne muscular dystrophy.  As of today, DMD has not put too many limits on him and we want to keep it that way. That is why we created Miles for Matthew. He is currently in his first clinical trial for treatment at Duke and thanks to all you champions out there, we are getting closer to an independent and healthy future.  We would love for you to join us in the fight for the future of all boys with Duchenne.”

Never heard of SPEEDFORNEED? check out the website  and watch ‘The Making of SPEEDFORNEED’ Video about helping adaptive athletes race, as well as a race video of the inaugural race The American 4 miler and Concord Streetlight 5K.  Like what SPEEDFORNEED is doing and want to support? Click for CrowdRise Donation Link  or Click for F3Foundation Donation Paypal Link and make sure to put in comments “SPEEDFORNEED“.  With your contributions, the team has now purchased 4 chariots, a tent, a trailer, and Medals for the participants.

It is now time to showcase this great program in the Triad. We will be supporting the Miles for Matthew Run by setting up a tent to raise awareness and racing with kids in the custom chairs. This is a very worthy cause that supports research to cure Duchene.

  • WHO’S INVITED: F3 Nation PAX, their M’s and 2.0s (spectate & support or register to run)
  • REGISTRATION WEBSITE:                                Team Name: F3 Nation

  • COST: 10k-$35; 5k- $30; (increase on race day, September 30
  • MEETING POINT:F3 Nation SPEEDFORNEED tent (Lindley Park Elementary)
  • HOST F3 REGION: Natville
  • DRIVERS: TBD (We will have 2 chairs and are determining the logistics)
  • SHIRTS: If you would like a SPEEDFORNEED shirt, there are some available for purchase for $20 (please let Crawlspace know do not order on Mudgear, they will be delivered to him and available for pickup at the race).  There are Sportek Adult (Small > 2XLARGE) , Sportek Kids (Small > Large), and New Balance Singlet (Small > XLARGE).  Image of shirt can be seen at:

JRR Tolkien on behalf of Crawlspace

Cheaters WIN


Remember the fine show ‘Cheaters’? That reality show hosted by Joey Greco where secret surveillance was done on husbands/wives to out them and their cheatin’ debaucherous ways.  At the end of the show, Joey Greco would run out with the camera crew and confront the cheating party in the act with the mister/mistress on camera… and it was on like Donkey Kong! They don’t make amazing films like this, or Tila Tequila, for that matter anymore and it’s a shame… Cheaters – Flashback (it’s safe fellas)

Well, it wasn’t exactly a scene right out of Cheaters this morning when YHC posted Bagpipe after being mostly an avoider of Bagpipe a SWIFT regular, in fact quite the opposite.  In full moonlight, the SWIFT crew saw YHC peel off at the top of to Q Bagpipe at 0520, but there was no “we’ll miss you” or “don’t Q Bagpipe, stay with us”… NOPE.  Instead the sausage party, led by the top weiner Bratwurst darted off into the distance with the shirtless band of Magic Mikes (Haggis, Fletch, Fire Hazard Strange Brew and others) and said nothing.  If YHC was on Cheaters, it would be like me TELLING my wife, “Honey, I’m going across the street to nail Marge, the 5’2″ 614lb bamboocha across the street with the mayonnaise crusted on her left cheek and blueberry jam on her eyebrows. You wouldn’t want me to do that, would you?” and her telling me …. “go for it, I’m heading to the spa for my rubdown with my trainer Chris Helmsworth. See you in 45… check that, take as long as you want.”  SMH. Bad analogies all around…. back to business. 14 men posted in the gloom at Bagpipe for a lot of green resistance band exercises, and a little of everything else.


0500 Bagpipe prerunners = 1 = YHC … don’t worry about it, Voodoo ran with me…. #joy . 0530 rolls around and Grandma Lucille, otherwise known as Morningstar, pulls into the parking lot slowly, delaying the start to an already short workout #makeall45minuteworkouts60min.  And we’re off! Thoughts were given to turning Bagpipe into a running workout and intersecting with SWIFT, but like YHC tells Mario, when a girl turns you down on a date, it’s kind of creepy to follow them around where wherever they go next… so we did our own thing.  We stayed local…. we hung around Lochness, ran a few hard laps in between doing a bunch of exercises with the green resistance bands. Well, Wild Turkey had the black one, which was twice as hard, but ironically the same length as the others. Anyway… we did a bunch of WW2 situps, a 31 count merkin superset (reg, wide, diamond, right hand up, left hand up, right leg up, left leg up). We tried some single leg squats, hip slappers, wall sits with grip strength exercises, derkins, burpees, reverse burpees, and some other stuff… 2.25mi covered total. FINITO!


Nothing fancy today for a workout, just a little bit of everything, and an attempt at using some coupons that YHC dusted off the past few weeks in those stretchy green bands. When you use those bands, and try to run immediately thereafter, it exposes weaknesses in your glutes, hips, etc. Enjoyed the workout and fellowship with my F3 Bagpipers this morning, and it was a good break from running after Bunker for 16 miles.  Couple of musings… Billygoat is losing so much weight he is now moving to the skintight shirts… either than or it was a loosefit, 3x too small. One Niner was whining about his belly hurting or being told to wear an apron in the kitchen at home, or something.  Nothing unusual.  Market Timer looked committed like a UFC fighter not named Daniel Cormier this morning, good seeing you out there buddy, it’s been a while.  Bucky can sprint… smashing YHC around Lochness in the progression runs. The secret weapon was revealed later that morning at the Sara’s Y… WHOLE30. Pass…. YHC will stay slow and fat. Carbs rule.  Thin Mint with a busted knee is still better than all of us at full strength.  If you want to be faster than him, crack him in the nuts. or the spine. a simple knee won’t work. Solid work from everyone out there this morning and good to work out with some new guys that YHC doesn’t normally get to post with. Thanks for allowing me to lead this morning.


  • LISTEN UP! Make sure you show up on Saturday 9/30/2017 for the Inaugural South Charlotte / SOB SPEED FOR NEED Race the Isabella Santos 5K in Ballantyne Corporate Park. It just isn’t an option for you to not show up as a either a runner or supporter.  Run your own race for a PR, run with/behind a racing chariot and an athlete-rider, run with your family, or just show up and cheer like crazy for our rider and represent F3 Nation to over 1,000+ runners and many more spectators in the heart of where SOB has not one, not two, not three, but FOUR workouts a week. Fire Hazard and Buckeye are your event-Q’s and here is their preblast ( PREBLAST for Isabella Santos 5K ). Failure to show will mean Buckeye will tear your limbs off, and Fire Hazard will pour freshly brewed sour beer over the fresh wounds.  And I won’t stop either of them, because… well, you’ll deserve it for being so selfish.

~SYITG JRR Tolkien

#SFN Hillwork & Partner Sprints at Commitment


Open Q at Commitment, so YHC snagged the open spot for some practice pushing the SPEEDFORNEED racing chair, before hitting F3Dads at Francis Beatty Park right after… a total of 5 fine F3 Nation brothers posted on a very busy weekend for F3Nation and had some fun.  ~4.5 miles were covered, which might be the record for this AO. Check out the video backblast.

Thang & Moleskin

Hill repeats and sprints with human or 80lbs of weight.  Did a few other exercises, but they were lame and boring compared to the fun pushing the chariot.  Watch the video backblast… which was unplanned, but fun times, to see the shenanigans.

Quick Backblast Video Link: F3 – Commitment 6.24.207 Backblast


  • It’s still not too late to sign up for our inaugural race, the Run For Your Life American 4 Miler on Independence Day 7/4 Tuesday.  Join your Metro brothers for 0600-0700 convergence at Freedom Park, then run with and/or support Nash and 2.0 son Owen in the race (Team F3 Nation… discount code “RFYL”).   American 4miler Preblast Link
  • Continued prayers for Cheech’s family, the teenage girl driver, and all those directly and indirectly involved.

Have a great Sunday.

SYITG – JRR Tolkien

Speed For NeighD Visits HoMcHoA

YHC understands, the only requirement to Q Horsey is to write a inappropriate sick backblast. Ok cool.


16 Stallions, only one of them Black (Jack), had their @$$ handed to them temperature taken (see video) by the hills of Horsey-McHorseArse.  Nothing like a heat check where the sun isn’t shining to wake you up at 0515.  Fun Fact: Did you know a horse’s temperature is 38 degrees? If not, you didn’t watch the fine viral educational video long enough. When it was all said and done, each PAX did roughly 22 hill repeats, climbed 1,000+ vertical feet in ~6 miles, while popping the CHAIRy of the new SPEEDFORNEED Racing Chariot in it’s virgin workout.  For the third week in a row, there was no sign of Chester, as the PAX were unmolested running up and down the calm streets of Wilby Drive. Speaking of Chester, has someone tried to EH that dude before? Today YHC could have given him the best/worst name in all of F3. Chester the Moles… nevermind.  We’d just go second derivative on the naming like Dredd likes to do and call that man ‘Cosby’ to make it sound more politically correct.  Kind of like how we renamed ‘Horny’ to ‘Horn‘, only different.  Throw that man a puddin pop!  Getting off track… here’s what we did…


Itcher nearly caused a revolt last week by running a bootcamp on HoMcHoA which has been advertised as an exclusively running workout. So YHC needed to restore order at 0515, in the form of running hill repeats, 5X up and down each hill of the course, with PAX alternating pushing a #SFN Chariot loaded with 40lbs of weight up and down each hill. 0607 group photo, 0608 pledge of allegiance, 0609 AYG up the first hill 2 last times, 0612 head back to launch, 0615 another group selfie (this time w/ F3’s media model Stinger), FINITO!


Plenty of ballerz today at HoMcHoA, but absent were two of the F3’s finest. Foulball didn’t show because he committed to some 45min workout aimed at EH’ing the lap swimmers at the Dowd (referring to the swimming pool, not Pee-Wee’s-Whirlpool in locker room #PWW).  Last year’s HoMcHoA 10K champ Fahvra realized more guys are competitive racing to a finish line, but it’s not a race everyone wants to win to be the first to touch a manhole (cover), so he stayed in his new hood Fort Mill.

Everyone today worked like a horse, and Nash was no exception.  The dude may look like a quarterhorse, ok, too big…. a miniature Shetland pony (with 8-pack abs), but Nash can push a chariot like a Belgian Draft Horse.  Like a horse, Funky Cold hung with the group and it was impressive to say the least.  After three weeks of competition FishwrapBelly Itcher, and Rachel have each won a leg of the triple crown with their amazing breakaway speed at HoMcHoA. Any couple in line at “the bank” wanting genetics to birth a fast kid might consider hooking up with these stallions… but like all horse racing winners, with each victory the cost to bang them just went up.  Not to mention they’re all married, or possibly geldings at this point.  Another bad joke, there will be more…moving on.

There was a mistaken moment of divine intervention today when a neighbor saw a cripple get out of his wheelchair and push it up the Yucca Succa … but it was just Mr Brady, now ringing out his soaking wet green and white tank-top on her lawn.  Then there was Voodoo who can not be influenced. When he says NO, he means it. Recorded conversation…

  • JRR Tolkien – “Hey Voodoo wanna push a chariot up a hill”
  • Voodoo – “NO”
  • JRR Tolkien – “How bout now?”
  • Voodoo – “NO”
  • JRR Tolkien – “Now?”
  • Voodoo – “Ok”

YHC wonders how many times it took asking Voodoo to be a college cheerleader? Hopefully more than #3.  Federalist looked to be having a blast in the chariot today.  Dude was seen being pushed up the hill by Ann&Hope while balancing a pair of fidget spinners on his areolas like he was a airplane with two propellers pointed to the sky.  Stinger showed he learned a whole lot of nothing from Q-source yesterday where we discussed Candor (definition = Graciously Telling The Hard Truth & Demanding to Hear It From Others) as he taunted Thin Slice about being slow while running backwards up the hill #Bluntness.  YHC would have at least picked on Slice for his John Leguizamo stache.  The Calvary food pantry drive was last week, and Tolkien & Chelms brought Asian rice (Tolkien: WiceWrand Brand) and American rice (Chelms: Riceland Brand), same thing different packaging, to feed the hungry. This week, the shirtless Nash, Thin Slice, and Belly Itcher each brought a pair of tomato slices, and Tweetsie, Chelms, and Geraldo brought a pair of saba melons, all of which were not on the pantry’s approved list #putyourshirtsbackon.  Tweetsie be diggin the hills, or he’s got a thing for animals. The only two workouts YHC has seen him post at is Mountain Goat and Horsey. He was also seen chasing down a Panda today.  Anyone notice Blackjack-Slimjack recent weight-loss and new found speed? Here’s the secret…store a gulp of RedMan, Kodiak, Skoal tobacco dip in your mouth at all times making everything taste like crap and restrict your breathing when running.  Some athletes would use a Training Mask, but if you want real gainz… TOBACCO DIP. Right Fish? Wow that was bad… but hey YHC tried.

SYITG ~ JRR Tolkien


SPEEDFORNEED chairs are in and we are looking for heavy participation in our Inaugural race, The American 4miler Race in Dilworth on Independence Day 7/4 where Nash will be pushing his 2.0 son Owen in the race (we’ll all be running together). Check out movie trailer video and PreBlast for American 4Miler SFN Race You have until TOMORROW *6/21* to guarantee a race shirt for your entry, so sign up TODAY!  Metro convergence at 0600-0700 followed by race at 0730

Hey Joker, Huggie Doesn’t Lie!


12 young men in their 40s or 50s, got suckered into following a MUCH younger and better looking 39yr old Q for an hour of Obstacle Course Training at Area51. ~2.5 miles were covered, old-man strength was unleashed, no trees were damaged any more than they already were, and noone was arrested or injured (to my knowledge)… it was a good morning. Here is what we did:


7:00am and it’s GO time! Take three laps around the parking lot alternating side shuffle, butt kickers, high knees, karaoke to get the legs limbered up.  Circle-up for some pineapple pickers and 25 merkins (regular, wide, diamond, offset hands). YHC gave PAX quick tour of the 10 stations, which PAX would cycle through once (not twice this time), in a clockwise direction.

Partner up, and each pair start at any one of 10 different stations.  For 4 straight minutes, work at that station, then for the 1 minute “recovery” run the parking lot loop in front of the school before heading to the next station.  Idea was to concentrate on the modality at that station to really work on muscular endurance. 50 minutes total. The Finito!


  1. Tyrolean Traverse
  2. Rope “tug-o-war” partners resistance
  3. Spear throw (3 burpees per miss)
  4. Pullup Bar Exercises (freeplay: pullup, dead hang, knee ups, toes-2-bar)
  5. Supine rope climbs w/ thick and thicker ropes
  6. 20lb Sandbag toss over bar
  7. Partner resistance bands (backwards run, modify to forwards if needed)
  8. Firemans carry (freeplay: w/ 45lb plate, 45ln kb, or 35lb fingertip plates)
  9. Rogue Dogsled (freeplay: low bar push, high bar push, grip drag, standing rows)
  10. 80-90lb Home Depot Bucket Carry


Well, that was fun. The beauty about writing a backblast a day or two late, is you always know how you feel from the workout. YHC’s chesticles and shoulders are sore from playing hot-potato with two sandbags for 4 minutes.  Solid work by everyone today, and as promised there was something for everyone to love or hate. Hopefully both at the same time. It was a long overdue trip to the closest AO to YHC home in Providence Plantation, but hey, at least the seal was broken.  It won’t be the last time now that kids soccer is done and YHC is no longer site-Q at Stonehenge.

The early crew of Abacus, Beaver, and OT took off for a prerun before the main event.  The limbering up allowed Abacus to scale the Tyrolean Traverse like a polar bear squirrel running upside down on a telephone wire. Impressive for a big man.  Joker had a hallucination thinking Stallone was scaling the Tyrolean Traverse like in the movie ‘Cliffhanger’… it was SquidEscobar supposedly missed the 0630 DaVinci launch, sped on over to Area51, nearly ran over all the workout gear in the parking lot with his SUV, and smiled like a kid in the candy store the entire workout. A pretty irritating sight to see when you’re struggling and arms are on fire. OT had deadeye aim on the spear throw from what I could see, maybe because he didn’t want to do burpees. Has anyone seen that man sweat? He rivals Mr. BradyLobstah Roll on the other hand, almost went home because burpees weren’t on menu, so he intentionally missed all his spear throws just to do some #penaltyburpees. Retread found a way to make spears rotate like a helicopter blade when they are thrown without breaking his wrist. Floor Slapper does not like buckets, or he’s just smarter than the rest of us who are trying to break our backs lifting them #talktoSquid . Great to see ColdCuts somewhere other than the Siskey Y when injured … over a year ago! Joker and Witch Doctor must like this workout since they’ve both been to three of these OCR sessions… now if we could only get them to sign up for an actual race to test their skillz.  When Joker wasn’t crushing the stations, Joker was berading poor Huggie Bear about lying that the British lady’s voice did not call for the next interval, since YHC, Escobar, and Joker apparently worked right through the the 1minute run, having too much fun on the partner resistance band station.  Thanks to everyone for letting us know to rotate #NOT.  Beaver put in strong work, and when he wanted the rest, he simply threw the sandbag on top of the jungle gym bar so it got stuck… well played.  YHC enjoyed working out with you fellas, and promise to make sure the next visit isn’t as delayed as the first one.

Thanks to the preacher Squid with the takeout. Joker, Huggie, and Abacus for the invite to Q, and all the fellas for a great 1st and 2nd F during the workout and coffeeteeria!  See you guys next time.


  • SPEEDFORNEED chairs are in and we are looking for heavy participation in our inaugural race, The American 4miler Race in Dilworth on Independence Day 7/4. Check out movie trailer video and PreBlast for American 4Miler SFN Race You have until 6/21 to guarantee a race shirt for your entry, so sign up TODAY!
  • Death Valley & Anvil converging Wednesday at Calvary… workout led by my main man Thin Mint, then listen to F3 Nation’s Nantan Dredd stimulate yo mind right after.
  • Skunkworks moved to Covenant day this Tuesday or next? Sorry… ask Witch Doctor or Stone Cold who look to be on the schedule next two weeks.

SYITG – JRR Tolkien

F3 SOB Dads: “Noone Leaves Until All The Kids Get Injured!”


31 human beings,14 Dads & 17 2.0s showed up for an hour of shenanigans at YHC’s favorite workout in all of F3, F3 Dads.  Per Paper Jam, “Noone can leave, until all the dads have a turn at the activities, or all the kids got injured!”. Thankfully all the dads got to participate, and only about half the kids got minor injuries #booboo.  Here is our story:

The Thang & Moley

YHC is getting old and needed to fartsack posting at a morning workout to save enough energy for F3Dads #truth.  So fresh out of the gates, YHC, 2.0 Night Crawler (self-rename from Dragon Queen), and 2.0 Gypsy Danger led the group with a lap around the grassy area, some side straddle hop, pineapple pickers (Hawaiian inspired), Moroccan Night Clubs w/ Beat box (Q-Fail… hey YHC learned this from Longshanks at The Fort, no wonder they’re so fast!), and of course the daddy elevator (to everyone’s surprise, Bratwurst’s arms did NOT snap).

On to the baton relay races.  The group was divided into 3 teams, no 4 teams, no 5 teams…. something like that. C’mon Fallout, show up on time! BillyGoat got there late as well, but just stood looking like a creep in the shade.  Oh wait, he had his 2yr old daughter… not a creep.  Witty Bunker was quick to point out that the Panda was having trouble counting off… which is like impossible given innate genetic Asian supremacy. Once we got started, we raced to the end of the cones and back for the following exercises: 1) single leg hop down and back 2) bear crawl down and back 3) forward sprint down and back.  Everyone was a winner here, well, except for whoever Shrink Wrap and Bunker handed the batons to since they had tucked the baton in the butt of their schweatty shorts.  Didn’t see Escobar’s baton, but hoping it wasn’t keystered anywhere like some of the goods he’s known to have transported (this backblast is going down the drain… can you believe it’s an F3 Dads one? YHC can’t… carrying on).

Next, we rolled out the cargo net, more like a golf ball net, whatever… a net. The dads spread it out and held it about 2 feet off the ground for the kids to crawl under.  First the boys, raced bear crawling with Gypsy Danger, Messi, and Spidey getting top 3.  Then for the ladies, Peanut, Night Crawler, and Fearless were your top 3.  No injuries so far…. We turned the net the shorter direction and played sharks and minnows, with the dads trying to catch the kids before they could get to the other side.  Then after a few rounds, switched to having the kids see if they could prevent the dads from crawling to the other side, by pummeling the dads as they crawled under the net. Kids enjoyed ruthlessly tackling the dads and making human dog piles until all the dads got a turn to go through. Amazingly no 2.0s were crushed. Quick water break.

Next activity was something that YHC saw on Youtube of kids holding buckets over their head and trying to catch rubber chickens that were catapulted in the sky.  Well, YHC had no rubber chickens, so we opted for YHC’s 2.0s stuffed animals and laundry baskets. Both kids and dads took turns trying to catch the flying animals until both Tinkerbell and Animal took one to the face on a laundry basket collision both going for a golden retriever pop fly.  Dads Tagalong and Shrink Wrap were seen coaching not kids to call for the dog, like a left fielder and third baseman would in baseball. Gotta start them young.

Finally the group played tug of war wit hate heavy crossfire rope. First it was girls vs. boys, and the girls were too much for the boys to handle, even without Madame Goonie’s help. After two rounds of dragging the boys across the field, all the kids took one end to challenge the dads, 2 dads at a time.  The kids once again were too much of a challenge for most of the pairs of dads.  The exception was when the team of Jello and Stump Hugger towed all the kids to the ground and Carly, Paper Clip, and like 6 other kids were laying facedown, dirt in their eyes, and bloody noses from Jello/Stumpy’s ruthlessness. Being the HIM that he is, Paper Jam didn’t care and still wanted a turn at tug of war, so rather than end F3 Dads, PJ insisted” noone goes home until all the kids get injured, or all the dads get a turn.”  All the dads got a turn.

Nameorama, COT, named a few new FNGs, takeout by Tolkien. Boom, another successful F3 Dads.  Thanks for coming out everyone. YHC always has fun at F3 Dads.  What you men do to show your kids love, support, and just spend time with them matters. And for some of you, hey it’s 45min away from your M, plus travel time (just kidding….).  See you all next week.


  • HDHH is at JRR Tolkien’s house this Wednesday… stop by anytime after 530pm. We’ll grill some food, BYOB (YHC doesn’t drink), and can play ping-pong (of course YHC has a table), darts, relax, or F3HOTTUBS. Msg me at @JRRTolkienF3 or hit me up on Slack if you’re coming.
  • F3 Dads is on all Summer long and the next one is next week Saturday same time 9-945am at The Bull Ring in Ballantyne Corporate Park. Tell your friends, it’s a great way to EH guys who might be intimidated to do a men’s workout but would like to meet some of the F3 men.  Some dude named HoneyBee has the Q next week… thought he had finally buzzed off?
  • SPEEDFORNEED, thanks for your support, 1st racing chair arrives this week!  If you are in town and can attend the 4th of July Inaugural Race, we would love your support as a runner, or spectator! There should be 30+ PAX running together with Nash and his 2.0 Owen and a ton of American Flags.  Check out the 7/4 SFN Inaugural Race: American 4 Miler Preblast!

SYITG ~ JRR Tolkien

Preblast: SPEEDFORNEED 1st Race Metro- American 4miler 7/4/17

*RACING CHARIOT IS HERE! Here is updated preblast with movie trailer video for the Metro American 4miler race (click above).  Please follow @F3SpeedForNeed as communications will be transitioned to that Twitter handle. YOU MUST REGISTER BY JUNE 21 TO GUARANTEE YOUR GENDER SPECIFIC SHIRT *

SPEEDFORNEED Inaugural Race!!!

After months of planning, marketing, praying, fundraising, and blowing up everyone’s Slack chats & Twitter feeds, SPEEDFORNEED is ready to launch!  Fittingly, our first race will be the American 4miler on Independence Day, July 4th 2017 in Dilworth Charlotte, NC and will be hosted by F3 – Metro Region.  Metro’s very own SIB and Bandit AO workouts leader, and SPEEDFORNEED Co-Q, Nash, will be piloting his 2.0 son Owen (14yrs old), who has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD).  You ALL (PAX, M’s, 2.0s) are invited to spectate, support (bring your posters & cowbells!), or register to run with us in this SPEEDFORNEED Inaugural Race!  Help is make this race experience EPIC for our rider-athlete Owen!

Never heard of SPEEDFORNEED? Watch this cool Youtube Video “The Making of SPEEDFORNEEDwhich shows in ~4min what and why F3 Nation is doing this charitable initiative. Want more information? Read the SPEEDFORNEED Preblast  Like what we’re doing and want to support? Click for CrowdRise Donation Link  or  Click for F3Foundation Donation Paypal Link and make sure to put in comments “SPEEDFORNEED“. We’re still raising money for a few more racing chairs, so please donate, every little bit counts!


  • RACE EVENT: RFYL American 4Miler & 1mi Kids Run (SFN Movie Trailer)
  • DATE: Independence Day, July 4th 2017 ~ 7:30am 4mi Start Time (arrive 7am or earlier)
  • WHO’S INVITED: F3 Nation PAX, their M’s and 2.0s (spectate & support or register to run)
  • OTHER DETAILS: $35 Cost thru July 3rd / Team: “F3 Nation” / ***No race-day registration***
  • MEETING POINT:  F3 Nation SPEEDFORNEED tent in event festival (look for the racing chair!)
  • HOST F3 REGION: F3 Metro
  • DRIVER: F3 – Nash (Metro)
  • TRACK COMMANDER (TC): Nash’s 2.0 Owen Farr (14yrs old)
  • CAUSE: Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD) Click to learn more about DMD
  • SPEEDFORNEED DONATION SITE: Click for CrowdRise Donation Link


***SPEEDFORNEED is on the move! The next race is Friday, 7/7/17 7:30PM, the Streetlight 5k (Concord, NC) hosted by F3 – MECA (Harrisburg) Preblast for Streetlight 5K***

*If your region wants to host a SPEEDFORNEED race, please let us know ASAP! We already have 40+ races identified on the annual schedule and would do our best to enable you to provide the ride of a lifetime for kids with disabilities, while showcasing what F3 Nation is all about to your local community.*

Contact: Twitter @F3SPEEDFORNEED or @JRRTolkienF3 or email

SFN… HELP Kids, GROW F3 Nation ~ JRR Tolkien & Nash