Author Archive JRR Tolkien

PB – SPEEDFORNEED Miles For Matthew 5K & 10K – Greensboro,NC – 9/30/17

SPEEDFORNEED!!!! Jamestown, High Point, Kvegas, and Dash Pax, Natville Pax will be hosting SPEEDFORNEED at Miles for Matthew.  SPEEDFORNEED is an F3NATION initiative that allows persons with disabilities to participate in fitness events utilizing custom racing chairs built from OUR donations.  If you’d like more information, then visit the official site

  • What:     Miles for Matthew 5k & 10K
  • When:   8:30AM Saturday 9/30/2017
  • Where: Lindley Park Elementary / 2700 Camden Rd / Greensboro, NC
  • Who:     All F3 Nation PAX are invited to participate and/or come support our athlete-riders in this race
  • Why:     Supporting Parent Project Muscular Dystrophy via Run for Our Sons, in an effort to fund research for a viable treatment for boys living with Duchenne muscular dystrophy.
  • Signup:

“Matthew is an 11 year old boy from Greensboro who loves reading, history, animals, sports, especially football and the Carolina Panthers.  He is curious, brave, determined and has the most infectious laugh. He also happens to have Duchenne muscular dystrophy.  As of today, DMD has not put too many limits on him and we want to keep it that way. That is why we created Miles for Matthew. He is currently in his first clinical trial for treatment at Duke and thanks to all you champions out there, we are getting closer to an independent and healthy future.  We would love for you to join us in the fight for the future of all boys with Duchenne.”

Never heard of SPEEDFORNEED? check out the website  and watch ‘The Making of SPEEDFORNEED’ Video about helping adaptive athletes race, as well as a race video of the inaugural race The American 4 miler and Concord Streetlight 5K.  Like what SPEEDFORNEED is doing and want to support? Click for CrowdRise Donation Link  or Click for F3Foundation Donation Paypal Link and make sure to put in comments “SPEEDFORNEED“.  With your contributions, the team has now purchased 4 chariots, a tent, a trailer, and Medals for the participants.

It is now time to showcase this great program in the Triad. We will be supporting the Miles for Matthew Run by setting up a tent to raise awareness and racing with kids in the custom chairs. This is a very worthy cause that supports research to cure Duchene.

  • WHO’S INVITED: F3 Nation PAX, their M’s and 2.0s (spectate & support or register to run)
  • REGISTRATION WEBSITE:                                Team Name: F3 Nation

  • COST: 10k-$35; 5k- $30; (increase on race day, September 30
  • MEETING POINT:F3 Nation SPEEDFORNEED tent (Lindley Park Elementary)
  • HOST F3 REGION: Natville
  • DRIVERS: TBD (We will have 2 chairs and are determining the logistics)
  • SHIRTS: If you would like a SPEEDFORNEED shirt, there are some available for purchase for $20 (please let Crawlspace know do not order on Mudgear, they will be delivered to him and available for pickup at the race).  There are Sportek Adult (Small > 2XLARGE) , Sportek Kids (Small > Large), and New Balance Singlet (Small > XLARGE).  Image of shirt can be seen at:

JRR Tolkien on behalf of Crawlspace

Cheaters WIN


Remember the fine show ‘Cheaters’? That reality show hosted by Joey Greco where secret surveillance was done on husbands/wives to out them and their cheatin’ debaucherous ways.  At the end of the show, Joey Greco would run out with the camera crew and confront the cheating party in the act with the mister/mistress on camera… and it was on like Donkey Kong! They don’t make amazing films like this, or Tila Tequila, for that matter anymore and it’s a shame… Cheaters – Flashback (it’s safe fellas)

Well, it wasn’t exactly a scene right out of Cheaters this morning when YHC posted Bagpipe after being mostly an avoider of Bagpipe a SWIFT regular, in fact quite the opposite.  In full moonlight, the SWIFT crew saw YHC peel off at the top of to Q Bagpipe at 0520, but there was no “we’ll miss you” or “don’t Q Bagpipe, stay with us”… NOPE.  Instead the sausage party, led by the top weiner Bratwurst darted off into the distance with the shirtless band of Magic Mikes (Haggis, Fletch, Fire Hazard Strange Brew and others) and said nothing.  If YHC was on Cheaters, it would be like me TELLING my wife, “Honey, I’m going across the street to nail Marge, the 5’2″ 614lb bamboocha across the street with the mayonnaise crusted on her left cheek and blueberry jam on her eyebrows. You wouldn’t want me to do that, would you?” and her telling me …. “go for it, I’m heading to the spa for my rubdown with my trainer Chris Helmsworth. See you in 45… check that, take as long as you want.”  SMH. Bad analogies all around…. back to business. 14 men posted in the gloom at Bagpipe for a lot of green resistance band exercises, and a little of everything else.


0500 Bagpipe prerunners = 1 = YHC … don’t worry about it, Voodoo ran with me…. #joy . 0530 rolls around and Grandma Lucille, otherwise known as Morningstar, pulls into the parking lot slowly, delaying the start to an already short workout #makeall45minuteworkouts60min.  And we’re off! Thoughts were given to turning Bagpipe into a running workout and intersecting with SWIFT, but like YHC tells Mario, when a girl turns you down on a date, it’s kind of creepy to follow them around where wherever they go next… so we did our own thing.  We stayed local…. we hung around Lochness, ran a few hard laps in between doing a bunch of exercises with the green resistance bands. Well, Wild Turkey had the black one, which was twice as hard, but ironically the same length as the others. Anyway… we did a bunch of WW2 situps, a 31 count merkin superset (reg, wide, diamond, right hand up, left hand up, right leg up, left leg up). We tried some single leg squats, hip slappers, wall sits with grip strength exercises, derkins, burpees, reverse burpees, and some other stuff… 2.25mi covered total. FINITO!


Nothing fancy today for a workout, just a little bit of everything, and an attempt at using some coupons that YHC dusted off the past few weeks in those stretchy green bands. When you use those bands, and try to run immediately thereafter, it exposes weaknesses in your glutes, hips, etc. Enjoyed the workout and fellowship with my F3 Bagpipers this morning, and it was a good break from running after Bunker for 16 miles.  Couple of musings… Billygoat is losing so much weight he is now moving to the skintight shirts… either than or it was a loosefit, 3x too small. One Niner was whining about his belly hurting or being told to wear an apron in the kitchen at home, or something.  Nothing unusual.  Market Timer looked committed like a UFC fighter not named Daniel Cormier this morning, good seeing you out there buddy, it’s been a while.  Bucky can sprint… smashing YHC around Lochness in the progression runs. The secret weapon was revealed later that morning at the Sara’s Y… WHOLE30. Pass…. YHC will stay slow and fat. Carbs rule.  Thin Mint with a busted knee is still better than all of us at full strength.  If you want to be faster than him, crack him in the nuts. or the spine. a simple knee won’t work. Solid work from everyone out there this morning and good to work out with some new guys that YHC doesn’t normally get to post with. Thanks for allowing me to lead this morning.


  • LISTEN UP! Make sure you show up on Saturday 9/30/2017 for the Inaugural South Charlotte / SOB SPEED FOR NEED Race the Isabella Santos 5K in Ballantyne Corporate Park. It just isn’t an option for you to not show up as a either a runner or supporter.  Run your own race for a PR, run with/behind a racing chariot and an athlete-rider, run with your family, or just show up and cheer like crazy for our rider and represent F3 Nation to over 1,000+ runners and many more spectators in the heart of where SOB has not one, not two, not three, but FOUR workouts a week. Fire Hazard and Buckeye are your event-Q’s and here is their preblast ( PREBLAST for Isabella Santos 5K ). Failure to show will mean Buckeye will tear your limbs off, and Fire Hazard will pour freshly brewed sour beer over the fresh wounds.  And I won’t stop either of them, because… well, you’ll deserve it for being so selfish.

~SYITG JRR Tolkien

#SFN Hillwork & Partner Sprints at Commitment


Open Q at Commitment, so YHC snagged the open spot for some practice pushing the SPEEDFORNEED racing chair, before hitting F3Dads at Francis Beatty Park right after… a total of 5 fine F3 Nation brothers posted on a very busy weekend for F3Nation and had some fun.  ~4.5 miles were covered, which might be the record for this AO. Check out the video backblast.

Thang & Moleskin

Hill repeats and sprints with human or 80lbs of weight.  Did a few other exercises, but they were lame and boring compared to the fun pushing the chariot.  Watch the video backblast… which was unplanned, but fun times, to see the shenanigans.

Quick Backblast Video Link: F3 – Commitment 6.24.207 Backblast


  • It’s still not too late to sign up for our inaugural race, the Run For Your Life American 4 Miler on Independence Day 7/4 Tuesday.  Join your Metro brothers for 0600-0700 convergence at Freedom Park, then run with and/or support Nash and 2.0 son Owen in the race (Team F3 Nation… discount code “RFYL”).   American 4miler Preblast Link
  • Continued prayers for Cheech’s family, the teenage girl driver, and all those directly and indirectly involved.

Have a great Sunday.

SYITG – JRR Tolkien

Speed For NeighD Visits HoMcHoA

YHC understands, the only requirement to Q Horsey is to write a inappropriate sick backblast. Ok cool.


16 Stallions, only one of them Black (Jack), had their @$$ handed to them temperature taken (see video) by the hills of Horsey-McHorseArse.  Nothing like a heat check where the sun isn’t shining to wake you up at 0515.  Fun Fact: Did you know a horse’s temperature is 38 degrees? If not, you didn’t watch the fine viral educational video long enough. When it was all said and done, each PAX did roughly 22 hill repeats, climbed 1,000+ vertical feet in ~6 miles, while popping the CHAIRy of the new SPEEDFORNEED Racing Chariot in it’s virgin workout.  For the third week in a row, there was no sign of Chester, as the PAX were unmolested running up and down the calm streets of Wilby Drive. Speaking of Chester, has someone tried to EH that dude before? Today YHC could have given him the best/worst name in all of F3. Chester the Moles… nevermind.  We’d just go second derivative on the naming like Dredd likes to do and call that man ‘Cosby’ to make it sound more politically correct.  Kind of like how we renamed ‘Horny’ to ‘Horn‘, only different.  Throw that man a puddin pop!  Getting off track… here’s what we did…


Itcher nearly caused a revolt last week by running a bootcamp on HoMcHoA which has been advertised as an exclusively running workout. So YHC needed to restore order at 0515, in the form of running hill repeats, 5X up and down each hill of the course, with PAX alternating pushing a #SFN Chariot loaded with 40lbs of weight up and down each hill. 0607 group photo, 0608 pledge of allegiance, 0609 AYG up the first hill 2 last times, 0612 head back to launch, 0615 another group selfie (this time w/ F3’s media model Stinger), FINITO!


Plenty of ballerz today at HoMcHoA, but absent were two of the F3’s finest. Foulball didn’t show because he committed to some 45min workout aimed at EH’ing the lap swimmers at the Dowd (referring to the swimming pool, not Pee-Wee’s-Whirlpool in locker room #PWW).  Last year’s HoMcHoA 10K champ Fahvra realized more guys are competitive racing to a finish line, but it’s not a race everyone wants to win to be the first to touch a manhole (cover), so he stayed in his new hood Fort Mill.

Everyone today worked like a horse, and Nash was no exception.  The dude may look like a quarterhorse, ok, too big…. a miniature Shetland pony (with 8-pack abs), but Nash can push a chariot like a Belgian Draft Horse.  Like a horse, Funky Cold hung with the group and it was impressive to say the least.  After three weeks of competition FishwrapBelly Itcher, and Rachel have each won a leg of the triple crown with their amazing breakaway speed at HoMcHoA. Any couple in line at “the bank” wanting genetics to birth a fast kid might consider hooking up with these stallions… but like all horse racing winners, with each victory the cost to bang them just went up.  Not to mention they’re all married, or possibly geldings at this point.  Another bad joke, there will be more…moving on.

There was a mistaken moment of divine intervention today when a neighbor saw a cripple get out of his wheelchair and push it up the Yucca Succa … but it was just Mr Brady, now ringing out his soaking wet green and white tank-top on her lawn.  Then there was Voodoo who can not be influenced. When he says NO, he means it. Recorded conversation…

  • JRR Tolkien – “Hey Voodoo wanna push a chariot up a hill”
  • Voodoo – “NO”
  • JRR Tolkien – “How bout now?”
  • Voodoo – “NO”
  • JRR Tolkien – “Now?”
  • Voodoo – “Ok”

YHC wonders how many times it took asking Voodoo to be a college cheerleader? Hopefully more than #3.  Federalist looked to be having a blast in the chariot today.  Dude was seen being pushed up the hill by Ann&Hope while balancing a pair of fidget spinners on his areolas like he was a airplane with two propellers pointed to the sky.  Stinger showed he learned a whole lot of nothing from Q-source yesterday where we discussed Candor (definition = Graciously Telling The Hard Truth & Demanding to Hear It From Others) as he taunted Thin Slice about being slow while running backwards up the hill #Bluntness.  YHC would have at least picked on Slice for his John Leguizamo stache.  The Calvary food pantry drive was last week, and Tolkien & Chelms brought Asian rice (Tolkien: WiceWrand Brand) and American rice (Chelms: Riceland Brand), same thing different packaging, to feed the hungry. This week, the shirtless Nash, Thin Slice, and Belly Itcher each brought a pair of tomato slices, and Tweetsie, Chelms, and Geraldo brought a pair of saba melons, all of which were not on the pantry’s approved list #putyourshirtsbackon.  Tweetsie be diggin the hills, or he’s got a thing for animals. The only two workouts YHC has seen him post at is Mountain Goat and Horsey. He was also seen chasing down a Panda today.  Anyone notice Blackjack-Slimjack recent weight-loss and new found speed? Here’s the secret…store a gulp of RedMan, Kodiak, Skoal tobacco dip in your mouth at all times making everything taste like crap and restrict your breathing when running.  Some athletes would use a Training Mask, but if you want real gainz… TOBACCO DIP. Right Fish? Wow that was bad… but hey YHC tried.

SYITG ~ JRR Tolkien


SPEEDFORNEED chairs are in and we are looking for heavy participation in our Inaugural race, The American 4miler Race in Dilworth on Independence Day 7/4 where Nash will be pushing his 2.0 son Owen in the race (we’ll all be running together). Check out movie trailer video and PreBlast for American 4Miler SFN Race You have until TOMORROW *6/21* to guarantee a race shirt for your entry, so sign up TODAY!  Metro convergence at 0600-0700 followed by race at 0730

Hey Joker, Huggie Doesn’t Lie!


12 young men in their 40s or 50s, got suckered into following a MUCH younger and better looking 39yr old Q for an hour of Obstacle Course Training at Area51. ~2.5 miles were covered, old-man strength was unleashed, no trees were damaged any more than they already were, and noone was arrested or injured (to my knowledge)… it was a good morning. Here is what we did:


7:00am and it’s GO time! Take three laps around the parking lot alternating side shuffle, butt kickers, high knees, karaoke to get the legs limbered up.  Circle-up for some pineapple pickers and 25 merkins (regular, wide, diamond, offset hands). YHC gave PAX quick tour of the 10 stations, which PAX would cycle through once (not twice this time), in a clockwise direction.

Partner up, and each pair start at any one of 10 different stations.  For 4 straight minutes, work at that station, then for the 1 minute “recovery” run the parking lot loop in front of the school before heading to the next station.  Idea was to concentrate on the modality at that station to really work on muscular endurance. 50 minutes total. The Finito!


  1. Tyrolean Traverse
  2. Rope “tug-o-war” partners resistance
  3. Spear throw (3 burpees per miss)
  4. Pullup Bar Exercises (freeplay: pullup, dead hang, knee ups, toes-2-bar)
  5. Supine rope climbs w/ thick and thicker ropes
  6. 20lb Sandbag toss over bar
  7. Partner resistance bands (backwards run, modify to forwards if needed)
  8. Firemans carry (freeplay: w/ 45lb plate, 45ln kb, or 35lb fingertip plates)
  9. Rogue Dogsled (freeplay: low bar push, high bar push, grip drag, standing rows)
  10. 80-90lb Home Depot Bucket Carry


Well, that was fun. The beauty about writing a backblast a day or two late, is you always know how you feel from the workout. YHC’s chesticles and shoulders are sore from playing hot-potato with two sandbags for 4 minutes.  Solid work by everyone today, and as promised there was something for everyone to love or hate. Hopefully both at the same time. It was a long overdue trip to the closest AO to YHC home in Providence Plantation, but hey, at least the seal was broken.  It won’t be the last time now that kids soccer is done and YHC is no longer site-Q at Stonehenge.

The early crew of Abacus, Beaver, and OT took off for a prerun before the main event.  The limbering up allowed Abacus to scale the Tyrolean Traverse like a polar bear squirrel running upside down on a telephone wire. Impressive for a big man.  Joker had a hallucination thinking Stallone was scaling the Tyrolean Traverse like in the movie ‘Cliffhanger’… it was SquidEscobar supposedly missed the 0630 DaVinci launch, sped on over to Area51, nearly ran over all the workout gear in the parking lot with his SUV, and smiled like a kid in the candy store the entire workout. A pretty irritating sight to see when you’re struggling and arms are on fire. OT had deadeye aim on the spear throw from what I could see, maybe because he didn’t want to do burpees. Has anyone seen that man sweat? He rivals Mr. BradyLobstah Roll on the other hand, almost went home because burpees weren’t on menu, so he intentionally missed all his spear throws just to do some #penaltyburpees. Retread found a way to make spears rotate like a helicopter blade when they are thrown without breaking his wrist. Floor Slapper does not like buckets, or he’s just smarter than the rest of us who are trying to break our backs lifting them #talktoSquid . Great to see ColdCuts somewhere other than the Siskey Y when injured … over a year ago! Joker and Witch Doctor must like this workout since they’ve both been to three of these OCR sessions… now if we could only get them to sign up for an actual race to test their skillz.  When Joker wasn’t crushing the stations, Joker was berading poor Huggie Bear about lying that the British lady’s voice did not call for the next interval, since YHC, Escobar, and Joker apparently worked right through the the 1minute run, having too much fun on the partner resistance band station.  Thanks to everyone for letting us know to rotate #NOT.  Beaver put in strong work, and when he wanted the rest, he simply threw the sandbag on top of the jungle gym bar so it got stuck… well played.  YHC enjoyed working out with you fellas, and promise to make sure the next visit isn’t as delayed as the first one.

Thanks to the preacher Squid with the takeout. Joker, Huggie, and Abacus for the invite to Q, and all the fellas for a great 1st and 2nd F during the workout and coffeeteeria!  See you guys next time.


  • SPEEDFORNEED chairs are in and we are looking for heavy participation in our inaugural race, The American 4miler Race in Dilworth on Independence Day 7/4. Check out movie trailer video and PreBlast for American 4Miler SFN Race You have until 6/21 to guarantee a race shirt for your entry, so sign up TODAY!
  • Death Valley & Anvil converging Wednesday at Calvary… workout led by my main man Thin Mint, then listen to F3 Nation’s Nantan Dredd stimulate yo mind right after.
  • Skunkworks moved to Covenant day this Tuesday or next? Sorry… ask Witch Doctor or Stone Cold who look to be on the schedule next two weeks.

SYITG – JRR Tolkien

F3 SOB Dads: “Noone Leaves Until All The Kids Get Injured!”


31 human beings,14 Dads & 17 2.0s showed up for an hour of shenanigans at YHC’s favorite workout in all of F3, F3 Dads.  Per Paper Jam, “Noone can leave, until all the dads have a turn at the activities, or all the kids got injured!”. Thankfully all the dads got to participate, and only about half the kids got minor injuries #booboo.  Here is our story:

The Thang & Moley

YHC is getting old and needed to fartsack posting at a morning workout to save enough energy for F3Dads #truth.  So fresh out of the gates, YHC, 2.0 Night Crawler (self-rename from Dragon Queen), and 2.0 Gypsy Danger led the group with a lap around the grassy area, some side straddle hop, pineapple pickers (Hawaiian inspired), Moroccan Night Clubs w/ Beat box (Q-Fail… hey YHC learned this from Longshanks at The Fort, no wonder they’re so fast!), and of course the daddy elevator (to everyone’s surprise, Bratwurst’s arms did NOT snap).

On to the baton relay races.  The group was divided into 3 teams, no 4 teams, no 5 teams…. something like that. C’mon Fallout, show up on time! BillyGoat got there late as well, but just stood looking like a creep in the shade.  Oh wait, he had his 2yr old daughter… not a creep.  Witty Bunker was quick to point out that the Panda was having trouble counting off… which is like impossible given innate genetic Asian supremacy. Once we got started, we raced to the end of the cones and back for the following exercises: 1) single leg hop down and back 2) bear crawl down and back 3) forward sprint down and back.  Everyone was a winner here, well, except for whoever Shrink Wrap and Bunker handed the batons to since they had tucked the baton in the butt of their schweatty shorts.  Didn’t see Escobar’s baton, but hoping it wasn’t keystered anywhere like some of the goods he’s known to have transported (this backblast is going down the drain… can you believe it’s an F3 Dads one? YHC can’t… carrying on).

Next, we rolled out the cargo net, more like a golf ball net, whatever… a net. The dads spread it out and held it about 2 feet off the ground for the kids to crawl under.  First the boys, raced bear crawling with Gypsy Danger, Messi, and Spidey getting top 3.  Then for the ladies, Peanut, Night Crawler, and Fearless were your top 3.  No injuries so far…. We turned the net the shorter direction and played sharks and minnows, with the dads trying to catch the kids before they could get to the other side.  Then after a few rounds, switched to having the kids see if they could prevent the dads from crawling to the other side, by pummeling the dads as they crawled under the net. Kids enjoyed ruthlessly tackling the dads and making human dog piles until all the dads got a turn to go through. Amazingly no 2.0s were crushed. Quick water break.

Next activity was something that YHC saw on Youtube of kids holding buckets over their head and trying to catch rubber chickens that were catapulted in the sky.  Well, YHC had no rubber chickens, so we opted for YHC’s 2.0s stuffed animals and laundry baskets. Both kids and dads took turns trying to catch the flying animals until both Tinkerbell and Animal took one to the face on a laundry basket collision both going for a golden retriever pop fly.  Dads Tagalong and Shrink Wrap were seen coaching not kids to call for the dog, like a left fielder and third baseman would in baseball. Gotta start them young.

Finally the group played tug of war wit hate heavy crossfire rope. First it was girls vs. boys, and the girls were too much for the boys to handle, even without Madame Goonie’s help. After two rounds of dragging the boys across the field, all the kids took one end to challenge the dads, 2 dads at a time.  The kids once again were too much of a challenge for most of the pairs of dads.  The exception was when the team of Jello and Stump Hugger towed all the kids to the ground and Carly, Paper Clip, and like 6 other kids were laying facedown, dirt in their eyes, and bloody noses from Jello/Stumpy’s ruthlessness. Being the HIM that he is, Paper Jam didn’t care and still wanted a turn at tug of war, so rather than end F3 Dads, PJ insisted” noone goes home until all the kids get injured, or all the dads get a turn.”  All the dads got a turn.

Nameorama, COT, named a few new FNGs, takeout by Tolkien. Boom, another successful F3 Dads.  Thanks for coming out everyone. YHC always has fun at F3 Dads.  What you men do to show your kids love, support, and just spend time with them matters. And for some of you, hey it’s 45min away from your M, plus travel time (just kidding….).  See you all next week.


  • HDHH is at JRR Tolkien’s house this Wednesday… stop by anytime after 530pm. We’ll grill some food, BYOB (YHC doesn’t drink), and can play ping-pong (of course YHC has a table), darts, relax, or F3HOTTUBS. Msg me at @JRRTolkienF3 or hit me up on Slack if you’re coming.
  • F3 Dads is on all Summer long and the next one is next week Saturday same time 9-945am at The Bull Ring in Ballantyne Corporate Park. Tell your friends, it’s a great way to EH guys who might be intimidated to do a men’s workout but would like to meet some of the F3 men.  Some dude named HoneyBee has the Q next week… thought he had finally buzzed off?
  • SPEEDFORNEED, thanks for your support, 1st racing chair arrives this week!  If you are in town and can attend the 4th of July Inaugural Race, we would love your support as a runner, or spectator! There should be 30+ PAX running together with Nash and his 2.0 Owen and a ton of American Flags.  Check out the 7/4 SFN Inaugural Race: American 4 Miler Preblast!

SYITG ~ JRR Tolkien

Preblast: SPEEDFORNEED 1st Race Metro- American 4miler 7/4/17

*RACING CHARIOT IS HERE! Here is updated preblast with movie trailer video for the Metro American 4miler race (click above).  Please follow @F3SpeedForNeed as communications will be transitioned to that Twitter handle. YOU MUST REGISTER BY JUNE 21 TO GUARANTEE YOUR GENDER SPECIFIC SHIRT *

SPEEDFORNEED Inaugural Race!!!

After months of planning, marketing, praying, fundraising, and blowing up everyone’s Slack chats & Twitter feeds, SPEEDFORNEED is ready to launch!  Fittingly, our first race will be the American 4miler on Independence Day, July 4th 2017 in Dilworth Charlotte, NC and will be hosted by F3 – Metro Region.  Metro’s very own SIB and Bandit AO workouts leader, and SPEEDFORNEED Co-Q, Nash, will be piloting his 2.0 son Owen (14yrs old), who has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD).  You ALL (PAX, M’s, 2.0s) are invited to spectate, support (bring your posters & cowbells!), or register to run with us in this SPEEDFORNEED Inaugural Race!  Help is make this race experience EPIC for our rider-athlete Owen!

Never heard of SPEEDFORNEED? Watch this cool Youtube Video “The Making of SPEEDFORNEEDwhich shows in ~4min what and why F3 Nation is doing this charitable initiative. Want more information? Read the SPEEDFORNEED Preblast  Like what we’re doing and want to support? Click for CrowdRise Donation Link  or  Click for F3Foundation Donation Paypal Link and make sure to put in comments “SPEEDFORNEED“. We’re still raising money for a few more racing chairs, so please donate, every little bit counts!


  • RACE EVENT: RFYL American 4Miler & 1mi Kids Run (SFN Movie Trailer)
  • DATE: Independence Day, July 4th 2017 ~ 7:30am 4mi Start Time (arrive 7am or earlier)
  • WHO’S INVITED: F3 Nation PAX, their M’s and 2.0s (spectate & support or register to run)
  • OTHER DETAILS: $35 Cost thru July 3rd / Team: “F3 Nation” / ***No race-day registration***
  • MEETING POINT:  F3 Nation SPEEDFORNEED tent in event festival (look for the racing chair!)
  • HOST F3 REGION: F3 Metro
  • DRIVER: F3 – Nash (Metro)
  • TRACK COMMANDER (TC): Nash’s 2.0 Owen Farr (14yrs old)
  • CAUSE: Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD) Click to learn more about DMD
  • SPEEDFORNEED DONATION SITE: Click for CrowdRise Donation Link


***SPEEDFORNEED is on the move! The next race is Friday, 7/7/17 7:30PM, the Streetlight 5k (Concord, NC) hosted by F3 – MECA (Harrisburg) Preblast for Streetlight 5K***

*If your region wants to host a SPEEDFORNEED race, please let us know ASAP! We already have 40+ races identified on the annual schedule and would do our best to enable you to provide the ride of a lifetime for kids with disabilities, while showcasing what F3 Nation is all about to your local community.*

Contact: Twitter @F3SPEEDFORNEED or @JRRTolkienF3 or email

SFN… HELP Kids, GROW F3 Nation ~ JRR Tolkien & Nash

Introducing: @F3SPEEDFORNEED / HELPING Kids & GROWING F3Nation

CALLING ALL MEN IN F3NATION:  PLEASE take just a few minutes to read about this new and exciting charitable initiative, watch the video link, consider making a donation to fund the charity, and seeing how your region can get involved and IMPACT our communities.

“When I became a part of F3, I gained so much more than just fitness. F3 gave a me community, a place to belong. It has been a tremendous honor to share in bringing others into F3Nation and support them on their journey. I love seeing people bring friends and family into our community – especially fathers bringing sons (and other way around!).
Most of you know my son has Muscular Dystrophy. His condition means he will never run hills, do burpees or participate in an F3 CSAUP event at 5:30AM. But I know that he and kids like him everywhere long to be part of something bigger than themselves. SPEED-FOR-NEED provides that opportunity. Pushing Owen (or anyone) during a race and letting them feel the support from fellow runners and cheering crowds is exactly what F3 is designed to promote – connecting people, having an IMPACT in our community.
My interest in this project is personal. But I know the men of F3 will step up and impact this community which needs our support.” – F3 Nation (Metro) “Nash”

No fancy marketing. Simply put, SPEED-FOR-NEED is about HELPING KIDS WITH DISABILITIES and GROWING F3NATION.  It’s about making our biggest fans, the sideline supporters who may have never set foot on the playing field, the STAR ATHLETE.  It’s about lifting up humankind’s single greatest Earthly asset, OUR CHILDREN, so they can be filled with DIGNITY and PRIDE.  It’s about changing the objective of our race from winning to helping someone else edge us out at the finish line, as we BOTH CELEBRATE VICTORY, every…Single…TIME.  It’s about the men of F3Nation commissioning our hearts into ACTION, and practicing the three words we speak of so often: FITNESS FELLOWSHIP FAITH, and seeing an infectious gravitation by other men to be part of the F3Nation brotherhood as the byproduct.  THIS is what SPEED-FOR-NEED is all about… Will you support us? CLICK TO DONATE

The MISSION of SPEED-FOR-NEED is to mobilize High Impact Men in F3Nation in responsibly pushing children with disabilities in specialized racing chairs to create an experience impossible by themselves due to their physical limitations. In doing so, SPEED-FOR-NEED exists for the enjoyment of the athlete-rider and their loved ones, to raise awareness and financial support for local charities and our partner Ainsley’s Angels of America, and to increase the visibility of F3Nation for the purpose of invigorating all men in the community, and sparking a call to action.

So, following in the footsteps of Team Hoyt and our partner Ainsley’s Angels of America , the men of F3Nation will be pushing kids with disabilities in racing chairs… really, really FAST ones, and we couldn’t be more excited!  Speaking of racing chairs, after months of planning and hard work, we’ve gone ahead and pre-ordered 2 chairs to get SPEED-FOR-NEED up and running and we hope to be pushing kids at our first race near the end of June.  These chairs are ridiculously cool looking, will be outfitted F3 style, and highly visible at racing events to thousands of people in the community and men who are waiting to be EH’d by YOU.  All of the finer details of SPEED-FOR-NEED, from signing liability waivers, to proper training, to race swag, to safety protocols have been considered and we will elaborate on those in a far more detailed post in the near future.


We need your prayers, marketing, help identifying riders, involvement, and FINANCIAL SUPPORT to accomplish the mission of SPEED-FOR-NEED !  Thanks to several early charitable donations, as well as a generous grant from The F3 Foundation, SPEED-FOR-NEED has got a solid start in fundraising, but we still need your financial support.  Each Team Hoyt Blade 2 Racing Chair (fully equipped and ‘souped up’ F3 style) will cost roughly $5,000 and we are aiming to buy several to serve as many kids as possible.  Be assured 100% of the money raised in this marketing campaign will be used solely by SPEED-FOR-NEED to purchase racing chairs and accessories, fund operations (i.e. rider race entry fees, finisher medals, Mudgear shirts, etc), support the charities SPEED-FOR-NEED supports at each race, and a portion will be going to our non-profit partner Ainsley’s Angels of America to help accomplish their mission.  All donations will flow through Ainsley’s Angels of America and the F3 Foundation and managed by a 501(c)(3) non-profit, and your donation is tax-deductible (you will receive a charitable contribution letter).

  1. We are encouraging F3Nation PAX to donate whatever amount they feel is appropriate, and that has the number “3” in it, symbolic of the three F’s in F3. And while we are trying to raise lots of money for SPEED-FOR-NEED and the many great causes it will support, we are hoping for broad based sponsorship across all of F3Nation, particularly F3 Charlotte and surrounding areas where SPEED-FOR-NEED will initially operate.  So no amount is too small: $10.03, $13, $23 $33, $3 million dollars (ok not that… we don’t want to manage that much money) .  Please make sure to put your F3 name and region in the comments.  The donation link is here: SPEED-FOR-NEED DONATION LINK
  2. Please spread the word for us! Copy this pre-blast link and/or the donation link in your backblasts, share it with your friends on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Tinder….. (ok maybe not Tinder). Talk about SPEED-FOR-NEED in COT at every workout, and please T-Clap this preblast so all men of F3 can see the opportunity SPEED-FOR-NEED is presenting to serve kids with disabilities and increase the exposure for F3Nation to thousands of people at every race.
  3. If your F3 region is invested in a local race (reasonable driving distance from Charlotte) that you would like SPEED-FOR-NEED to be present at, we want to hear from you!  And we will do our best to put you on the race calendar.  Your region will have the opportunity to Q that event, identify, support, and push rider-athlete(s) in your chosen race, and fundraise for the cause of your choosing.

We hope that after reading this preblast, watching the video, and visualizing the tremendous opportunity SPEED-FOR-NEED presents for children with disabilities and the growth of F3Nation, you will choose to be a part of SPEED-FOR-NEED in some way, shape, or form, and and make a donation CROWDRISE DONATION LINK .  It takes a village to raise a child. Will each of us in F3Nation be that village and each of us donate something to get make the impossible possible for these children?

And if SPEED-FOR-NEED isn’t something you have a passion for, or stirs your heart like it has done to ours, we understand.  But we do hope that by reading this, you are inspired to seek out, support, and lead another worthy cause that accomplishes the mission of F3 ‘for the invigoration of male community leadership’.  Please reach out to us on Twitter: @JRRTolkienF3 or @F3Nash with any questions or if you would like to help in any other way.  Thank you very much for your consideration.

With Appreciation and God Bless,

The Future Athlete-Riders of SPEED-FOR-NEED, F3Nation, Ainsley’s Angels of America, JRR Tolkien and Nash

SPEED-FOR-NEED Sample Race Schedule (we want to be pushing EVERY RACE WEEKEND!)

JAN                      Joe Davis Run 5K / 10K for Addiction Recovery (Fort Mill, SC – F3 The Fort)

FEB                       <YOUR RACE, YOUR RIDER, YOUR CAUSE, YOUR F3 REGION!!!>      

MAR                      Run Jen Run 5k to end Breast Cancer (Charlotte, NC – A51 / SOB)

APR                      Community Foundation Run 5K (Gastonia, NC – F3 Gastonia)

APR                       Richard Sheltra Memorial 10K / 5K (Pineville, NC – F3 A51 / SOB)

MAY                      Cannoli Run 5K (Fort Mill, SC – The Fort)

MAY                      Lexington 3rdF 5K to end Leukemia (Lexington, SC – F3 Lexington)

JUNE                     King Tiger 5k for YMCA (University Area, Charlotte, NC – F3 MECA)


SEPT                      St Jude 5k to end Childhood Cancer (Charlotte, NC – F3 Metro)

SEPT                      Summer Sizzler 5k (Virginia Beach, VA – F3 VA Beach)

OCT                        <YOUR RACE, YOUR RIDER, YOUR CAUSE, YOUR F3 REGION!!!>

NOV                       Turkey Dash 4mi (South Charlotte, Charlotte NC – F3 SOB / A51)

NOV                        Charlotte Southpark Turkey Trot 4mi (South Charlotte, NC – F3 Metro)

NOV                       Novant Charlotte Marathon (Charlotte, NC – F3 Metro)

DEC                        Run Run Rudolph 5k/10K (University Area, Charlotte, NC – F3 MECA)

DEC                        Huntersville Half Marathon & 5k (Huntersville, NC – F3 Isotope)


Swift Back-Blast: Chinese Fire Drill Intervals


22 men still chose to run a few miles at Swift today, despite their fearless leader Bratwurst being DR, MIA, on a work boondoggle, starting up a new running workout, on Vacation (who knows). YHC thought surely that Bagpipe would have record numbers factoring in my main man Heartbreaker on Q, Brat’s absence, and YHC notorious Preblast. It didn’t happen and SWIFT PAX outnumbered Bagpipe 22 – 20. #scoreboard #notacompetition #yesitsacompetition  Here’s what we did, or didn’t do:

The THANG (yesterday’s preblast)

“Bratwurst is out… Tolkien is in, but don’t worry…  the fabled Fortune Cookie Run won’t be back. Instead we’re running a Chinese Fire Drill. Mongol style!

OPTION #1: 0500 – 0515:   warm up the legs and core by pulling each other in rickshaws for 15 minutes, sneak in a little Tai Chi to get the mind right. Shots of ginseng to chase down a GU packet right before the main event.

0515-0615:    In drive mode (coasting, no pressure on the gas) one PAX starts driving Tolkien’s truck around the bull ring with the rest of the Pax in the cab or in the bed.  The person in the back of the bed, hops out of the truck, runs around the truck without getting hit, enters the driverside door, pushes the driver in, and the PAX move towards the back of the truck.  Repeato until all PAX have cycled through.  That’s round 1.  Round 2, add 5mph to the truck speed and repeat until 0615 or until there is a casualty. Remember the disclaimer that is given at the start that you exercise at your own risk.


OPTION #2: We could go with the Bratwurst plan, so set your watches accordingly:

  • 3min HARD (2mi race pace) followed by 2min recovery
  • 4minHARD (2mi race pace) followed by 3min recovery
  • 3min HARD (2mi race pace) followed by 2min recovery
  • 4minHARD (2mi race pace) followed by 3min recovery
  •  on and on and on until 0615

PACE Groups:

(R) ICH Pace – if you can afford a fancy watch that will override your heart rate to something ridiculously low and pump your VO2 MAX into the 60s fictitiously. Bunker leads pace group.

(I) NJURY Pace – if you have sprained an ankle for good or bad reasons in the last year, you have a free pass to this group. Fire Hazard, Tolkien and Tuck are the pacers…. in arrow formation, like Nike’s Breaking 2hr marathon pacers did… only 2hrs slower.

(P) URGE Pace – follow Frasier, Citgo, Fahvra, and whoever else has no body fat who will be running at lightning speed, and purge the food they ate four days ago in the woods somewhere to stay lean and mean.


Surprisingly, everyone chose Bratwurst’s option #2, despite some consideration by Enron to do #1 per Slack comments. During the workout, Gumbo nearly changed his mind as well but resisted asking for the Chinese Firedrill. MAn it would have been interesting to attempt this! Anyway, After considering a multitude of venues for the workout, and realizing that after 100+ SWIFT workouts there wasn’t any new ground to discover, the Bull Ring was chosen to allow for more measured pacing and regrouping.  Tagalong was curious at Stonehenge what SWIFT was all about, and was true to his word, came out and crushed it. His brother-in-law Thin Mint chose not to make it a family affair and was MIA after completing 50k Trail Ultra this weekend, which earned him a free pass… until Haggis showed up to run (also ran the same trail ultra), which immediately revoked TM’s hall pass for missing.  Congrats to the both of you crazy fools.  Cheddar rolled up with seconds to go, and started jingling away with his keyset. No word whether he ran the Smoky Mountain Relay with some keys.  Way to go brother in the F3 Expansion! #HIM  Hairball, Bunker, and YHC tried to take advantage of Frasier’s calf injury which was sustained Saturday at Stonehenge after some idiot Q had the PAX backwards-run up the ramps AND the flats of the Premier 5 story parking deck.  All three were looking to get back in pre-marathon form and today looked promising, covering 7+ miles (not including the pre-run).  Anne Springs Greenway Trail BFF’s Enron and One-Niner showed they can run fast on pavement and trails.  Wild Turkey battled through lingering effects of a sprained ankle incurred from paying zero attention to a hole on a Monday 10 miler.  Everyone else put in solid work it seems per Strava Labs FlyBy.  YHC was too busy running (P)urge Pace and not (Injury Pace at the end, spilling merlot from an ill advised Gu packet.

Kudos to Brat for leading this workout week in and week out.  It’s tough figuring out what to do on a speed day, without just running senselessly fast to get injured.  It’s also tough to synchronize watches, keep the group together, and to B-skip properly, although it comes naturally to Tiger Rag. So thanks for sharing your knowledge, intelligence, and leadership with the SWIFT crew. You can have your Tuesday workout back.


  • Yesterday, the F3 Foundation approved the grant request and endorsed the F3 Speed-For-Need Charitable Initiative of pushing kids with disabilities in fast specialized racing chairs in local races in the Charlotte area.  The initiative is being led by Nash (Metro) and JRR Tolkien (SOB), and F3-SFN will be partnering with a national racing chair pushing organization, Ainsley’s Angels of America.  The official preblast and marketing launch will be coming in a few days but in the interim, please spend a few minutes to watch the video in the link here, and read a little bit about the initiative in the top section of the link:   F3 Speed For Need Pre-Preblast (watch video) We would love to have your involvement in some way, shape, or form so be thinking about what that is, or go find a cause you feel strongly about and get the PAX on board with that.
  • Join your fellow SOB / A51 / Indian Land brothers in the Charlotte Craft Course on Saturday May 20th from 1200-1530 starting at NoDa Brewing Co. Basically the point is to run to as many breweries as possible, get blasted, try not to puke (in the bar at least), and try to also not get hit by a car or sprain an ankle. Have your M pick you up if you’re not already in the doghouse for this, or stay at Tuck’s House since he has plenty of room, even with a hoard of 2.0s….. contact Tuck for details or check Slack. You can register on : CLT Craft Run Signup
  • Bagpipe Q’s are covered as of email chain, Savage Race is Saturday so be there with 50+ PAX, Tuck wants to remind you of something on March 20th 2018, and the F3 New Guy Workout is Wednesday 5/24/17 so EH someone and be there.

“They may take our lives, but they’ll never take our F3DOM!”  ~ @JRRTolkienF3