There ain’t no glamor in this tinseled land
Of lost and wasted lives
And painful scars are all that’s left of me
But thank you girl for teaching me
Brand new ways to be cruel
And if I can find my mind now, I guess I’ll just leave
And it’s guitars, Cadillacs, hillbilly music
And lonely, lonely streets that I call home
Yeah, my guitars, Cadillacs and hillbilly music
Is the only thing that keeps me hanging on
27 (or was it 28? – saw a mystery van leave before COT) posted to the only real Kettlebell Tuesday workout in A51 on this brisk January morn. It always warms the cockles of my heart to see the Pax outnumber the temperature. For the record, I’ll take 23 and dry over 35 and raining every day of the week.
THANG:
Fletch Drops KB on his toe, already numb from pre-running 7 min miles in subfreezing temperatures with a large albino man in sparkly knee socks chasing him. Says it didn’t hurt (yet) and shakes it off, so we begin.
Move KBs out of Trash Truck route (pointless)
Warmup run to tennis courts and back. Brown already complaining. Bananas sets the stage for an upcoming cramp.
COP – SSH, Merkins, IW all IC. Move for Trash Truck, who appeared somewhere in the middle. Move back to finish, since nobody has worked out on grass in three weeks we were all a little skittish.
Partner up, P1 runs to large rock in front of HS, P2 does called Exercise. Flapjack. Then P1 runs loop around the CDS Death Track while P2 does the same exercise. Flapjack again. Everyone gets four trips to the rock and four trips around the track. Some people did a few of the KB exercises too.
Move to the frozen (but not soggy) field and line up for modified swing/burpee ladder
Circle back up for Mary, including flutters and LBCs
DONE
Observations from the Frozen Gloom:
Announcements:
12 men posted this am for the #perfectworkout. 11 followed my Q, with the other following his GPS through the dark alleys of western Union county until he found us during the final throes.
THANG:
Jog to the end of the archipelago
Warmup COP, all IC
Jog back to the start, giving instructions while running backwards in front of the group (risky)
The perfect workout:
7 islands spread over 225 yards – perform 7 reps of the first exercise at each island, then run back to start point and switch to the next exercise. Repeat until all 7 exercises completed, with a little plank regrouping in the middle.
Move to the large hill at the end of the AO
Stairway to 7:
1 merkin bottom of hill, 1 squat at top. Increase reps by 1 until you get to 7 merkins at bottom and 7 squats at top.
Run back to parking lot for Mary (all in cadence)
End
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
SKIN:
Workout concept started with analyzing the site over Google Earth. I saw 6 islands, spread over 225 yards down the side of the AO and thought of doing an extended “beast”. Then it came to me, why do something of the devil when we can do something of the Lord? A 2nd look revealed that the middle island was split into two, giving us 7 stations instead of 6. Let’s go with this theme instead. 7 is, after all, a symbol of perfection in the Bible. Felt more like 7 bowls of wrath though . . .
Speaking of perfection, what is not perfect is Glass Joe’s foot. I learned about this via a text last night, where he described his foot ailment to me in great detail. Had this not been enough, I opened my truck door at 5:20 this AM to join in on a follow-up 10 min discussion of his foot, complete with details of shoes, inserts, specific pain trigger points, and how he planned to post at workouts all week in order to completely disregard any medical advice that he paid for last week. Foot discussions were maintained throughout the workout and after COT, keeping with the theme. In summary, Glass Joe’s foot hurts. Just kidding buddy . . . hope your plan of back to back Qs works out. #doubtful
Good to have the Chilean Vet Doc McStuffins and 2nd time poster Fire Cat join in on the workout. Couldn’t keep up with the Doc during the main event – he led the field the whole way. I think he is secretly a Patagonian Toothfish. Fire Cat hung in there until we headed to the hill, then went mysteriously missing for a bit. Good call by Happy to send a scout back to check up on the brother. Turns out he was fine, but had left a lung back at the first island and was searching for it.
Not sure what Kiefer plugged into his GPS, but he rolled up at around 6:10 claiming bad coordinates. We counted him anyway. Better luck next time.
This is a great AO with lots of opportunities, many still unexplored. Numbers are strong too. Let’s keep the momentum going through the winter men.
Need a UnionCo tag for the backblasts. Somebody get somebody on this.
Yours Truly,
Horsehead
Eight posted for Outland, with one wearing knee socks with bearded trolls on them and one bearded troll wearing knee socks. Not sure what to make of the scenery, and somewhat rolling the dice with a belly full of Christmas snacks from last night, we headed off into the frost together.
THANG:
Group run to the large rock pile near practice field – grab one that makes your momma proud. Mosey with the rock to the HS back parking lot.
Warmup COP w/ Rock
Partner up – P1 runs 500meter(ish) loop, P2 does called exercise.
Couple of Mary exercises to regroup – flutter and protractor.
Return Rock to Pile and line up across practice field
11s across the full length of the field – Merkins and Squats. Each time you cross the midpoint, 5 burpees.
Pinball group run back to parking lot.
Mary under the handrail bars
MOLESKIN:
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
Random side note: The M got me a boot and glove dryer a few weeks ago so I would stop reeking up the downstairs bathroom sitting my hats and gloves on the vent. This thing is great. Dries shoes, gloves, & hats in no time out in the garage. Put one on your Christmas list if Christmas lists don’t offend you these days.
Yours Truly,
Horsehead
6 determined #countrystrong men and 1 freakishly large 2.0 posted for this weeks installment of #F3AnsonCo. 4 Anson guys returning from last week, plus one FNG. The men of Anson like to roll in hot, at the zero hour, and we went from GJ and myself looking awkwardly at each other to a crew of 7 in a couple of mins right before liftoff.
The Thang:
Hairband mile around the parking lot to wait for any stragglers. Couple of false alarms, but we circled up nearby just in case.
COP:
Mosey to base of hill beside football stadium
Set of 7s on the hill, jump squats at the bottom and merkins at the top
Peoples Chair for recovery with air presses X 20 IC
Mosey to baseball field
Repeat X 2, leaders did a 3rd lap to finish with the crew
Mary on the field
Mosey to the practice football field
Suicides to two markers
Next set
Final set
Line up for Jack Webb (more discussion on this later)
1 merkin / 4 air presses – up to 10 merkins and 40 air presses
Mosey to track around football field
AYG 400 around track, leaders circle back to pick up the six
Mosey to parking lot for final Mary
DONE
Moleskine:
I must admit, I was not a happy camper waking up at 5:30 on a Saturday to drive an hour to the other side of nowhere to Q a workout. However, I am really glad that I did. I had a blast out there with the guys, and was really encouraged to see the guys returning from that first awful mess of a workout that conducted in the Wal Mart parking lot.
Glass Joe 2.0 is funny, I don’t care who you are.
Caught a very evil stare from Half Moon during the 1st set of hill work. I though he was going to kill me, but then he vanished behind the building for unknown reasons and came back looking like he had seen a ghost, or the Wadesboro Pope, or something . . .
These boys need some F3 Mudgear Shirts, in Realtree and possibly Mossy Oak. Blaze orange accents would be a nice touch.
Our FNG Fenderbender (I prefer the single word spelling and will now always use it) left a steady trail of junk behind wherever he ran. He was dropping keys, water bottles, phones, pagers, socket wrenches, twinkies, and who knows what else. I wanted to name him Fannypack (also single word spelling) but GJ mentioned that he had a military background, and we always give those guys a break on the nicknames. With a background in auto repair, I had him nailed as Bondo, but he blew it when he enthusiastically told us how much he liked the name. He then tried suggesting some old college nicknames for himself, but we shut him up and went with Fenderbender (single word spelling again – you like it, don’t you).
Made a point to go to some bread-and-butter F3 exercises today so that the Anson guys can begin to learn how to develop their own workouts, using these as the building blocks. #Handoff will be here before you know it, so better be thinking about who is going to run this thing from an organizational and workout standpoint.
During the Jack Webb, I started to give out pretty hard on the 9th set. However, I was angrily baited into set #10 by GJ. Something about this not being “Jane Webb” over and over. I suppose had I called for Dick Webbs instead of Jack Webbs, then that would make sense somehow. You know . . . Dick and Jane, Jack and Jill. Maybe he meant Jill Webbs? Either way, we did the 10 set and it sucked and I may have finished the last two on my knees but I’ll never tell.
Favorite moment of the morning (excepting the bacon, grits, and eggs at the Hub) was after we finished the final set of suicides where we did the burpees. Viper (almost double respect, mind you) gutted out that final set and was finally resting back at the start where we were beginning to plank. OMB was still down the field just getting into the 10 burpees, all by himself. Before I knew it, I saw Viper start to rumble back down the field and I reminded him that I had only called one set of the burpee suicides. He said, “I’m not going for that, I’m going to finish with that man”, or something along those lines. Then he did what he said.
Horsehead
25 men of questionable judgement posted at the most hilarious Friday workout around. Some exercised, some rolled over and died.
THE PF CHANG
Mosey (entering the exit mind you, to avoid the #secretstuff hiding on the other side) to the track, continuing for the better part of a lap
COP
Slap yo Grandma
Line up on 50 yd line, Bear Crawl race to end zone. Requested 10 yd head start from DK and Lobster Roll to see if anyone could take them. Complete chaos – everyone left at random times. Saw guys walking, running, skipping, prancercising, and one guy riding a camel.
#RichardPryor
Mosey back to the side parking lot. Some confusion, i.e. “why are we leaving the fancy private school field that I pay for and/or attempt to relive my failed high school athletic dreams on”, but we eventually made it.
20 mins of Hairburners, 3-man grinder teams, rotating exercises while you “rest”.
Final set was “inchworm style”. Extremely popular.
5MOM
DONE
THE FRIED PORKSKIN
Wanted to bring out some Fun Friday as some of us continue to mourn for the hilarious days of Kevlar past – hope you boys had a good time out there.
As I continue to go through the list of body parts that I have injured, maimed, or tweaked as I rocket my fitness to stratospheric levels – this week is left foot week. Slightly hobbled, the hairburners were mostly an effective crutch so that I could bring a difficult workout without having to run the track a lot. From the carnage I saw, looks like it delivered.
It was noted post-workout while scarfing down fried chicken at 6:30AM the reaction of our wives as we make loud painful grunting, moaning, and popping sounds while moving from chair to floor after these workouts. They truly do not understand the way of the #eliteatheletes that we are all becoming.
As for the title, it is in tribute to Richard Pryor who once (famously) set himself on fire after freebasing cocaine and drinking 151-proof rum. Although there were no confirmed self-conflagrations, we were getting some pretty distinct burning smells from the parking lot towards the end. I think I also saw Header snorting some unsugared orange Kool Aid mix with a Capri Sun chaser (ripped the top right off, no straw). Things were getting little dangerous out there.
Some of the newer guys had not done the plates before. Saw BOGO, Bounce, and Beaufort T. have a fantastic time out there.
Cobains to Icicle for having to endure a very similar workout on Monday in Mint Hill. Hey, I did it too.
18 men (technically 12 men, 1 teenager, and 5 kiddos but numbers is numbers) posted for the weekly installment of the F3 Outland workout.
THE CHICKEN WANG:
Happy Q:
Horsehead Q:
Maybe You Should Get That Looked at Skin:
Horsehead
A double deuce of Former Sad Payaso’s gathered in the Hazard County gloom to take the next step in #gettingbetter. What is that, you ask? It’s LEADERSHIP, that’s what it is. Today was all about learning to lead a F3 workout.
Why? Here’s why.
Men were created to be leaders. We were created to lead our wives and our families, and also to lead one another. Sometimes, we just need a little motivation and encouragement . . . and maybe some teaching.
THE THANG BEFORE THE THANG:
At 6AM, a few of us (GJ, EE, Shephard, Crab Legs, and a Suprised Toughskins (more on this later)) met for a pre run with the 2.0s tagging behind on bikes. The kiddos were outfitted with lots of blinking lights today, which made for some amusement as they weaved around and heckled encouraged us during the run.
THE THANG:
Horsehead Lead
Run to the practice fields.
A few Forwards, Backwards, and Sideways runs back and forth across the field to warm up the legs a bit.
Circle up for a large COP. After some demonstrations of the basics of cadence calling with a few examples, we went around the circle and let each PAX take a turn at leading an exercise. Every man was given a chance to lead and most pulled it off without a hitch. Crab Legs, who enthusiastically launched into some ludicrous speed Imperial Walkers, gets the award for most entertaining exercise. Big Trade asked how to do burpees in cadence, and then busted out 10 perfect 6 count burpees for his first ever lead – not too shabby. Didn’t even spill any water from his #batbelt.
Double Applesauce run to the Shiloh Elementary Playground, with some instruction and advice about moving large groups from place to place. Break in the middle to round up the 2.0s, who were chasing geese around.
8 Mins of She Hate Me, led by Countertop. While calling this, he explained how these circuit sets allow the newer pax to catch their breath while the more experienced pax can go as hard as they want through the sets.
Repeated sets of:
Brief Mary led by Countertop, demonstrating cadence calling again for the pax. Also, a demonstration of this ridiculous sideways spider jump up exercise thing that nobody could do properly. About halfway into that, everyone was just looking confused and he revealed that he had called it “on purpose” to throw off the pax and demonstrate how to move on if you’ve called a bad one. It happens to all of us . . . Good recovery.
Pinball run led by EE to back bus lot. Another demonstration of how to move the large group along. This one has the faster guys doing repeated sprints to landmarks and then jogging back to pick up the six. Everyone gets a lung burner here.
Decreasing sets of Bomb Jacks and Derkins, starting at 10 each and working down to 1. Break in the middle for some wall squats and air presses.
Mosey to Front Lot to finish out with some more Mary led by assorted pax.
MOLESKINE:
Poor Toughskins! An error in the Mint Hill email that listed the Q school as starting at 6AM lured him out an hour too early. He took a strong dose of #manup and joined in with us on the pre run activities, with only minor grumbling. Strong work my friend.
Nobody calls cadence like Countertop. It will almost lull you to sleep from the soothing rhythm, but will most certainly put you on your back as you pretend to do those core exercises that only he is able to pull off sometimes.
Speaking of the #weekendwarrior, CT did a really awesome looking aerial dive when demonstrating the swing donkey kicks. He basically dove through the air and landed perfectly on the swing, right into the first rep. I may have attempted a variation of this (this is unconfirmed) with less than stellar results (my pants almost came down and I got a boo boo).
The pax are getting stronger, which is apparent during the long runs from location to location. We had a group of 22 today and everyone stayed together fairly well. A couple of months ago, and it would have been strung out like Courtney Love.
Lots of enthusiasm about VQs now. Next week, stay tuned for a three man Q featuring The Late Show, Smokey, and Big Trade. This will be Smokeys 2nd Q (1st at Outland) and a VQ for Big Trade. More guys also lining up to follow.
Also, be on the lookout for a new Tuesday workout at Indian Trail Elementary School. A couple of guys are looking hard at this now for a fall launch.
I am very excited about the growth at this AO and the upcoming expansion and leadership opportunities. I will be 2 years into this F3 thing in a couple of weeks, and I believe it has been used to mold me into a better man. I hope it will serve the same purpose for many others.
ANNOUNCEMENTS:
I’ve typed enough, read them somewhere else.
Read the preblast for links to some valuable documents to help with leading your first F3 workout.
http://f3nation.com/2015/09/04/union-county-q-school-preblast/
Always a privilege
– Horsehead
Men, it’s time to step up to the plate and take the next step in your involvement with F3! The Union County AOs have exploded with growth over the summer and there are lots of new faces attending the workouts now. This Saturday, we are planning a special workout to introduce the pax to the fundamentals of leading a basic F3 boot camp workout. This will be a normal, 1 hour workout geared to all fitness levels. However, we will be incorporating some leadership training within the workout such as:
We don’t want anyone to be intimidated by this, so understand that you may be asked to practice calling the cadence for a few brief exercises but that’s about it. You won’t be asked to plan or lead long segments of the workout. We want everyone to come on out – we are planning to have a good time tomorrow AM! Taking the step to lead or co-lead your first F3 workout is a lot of fun.
Here are a couple of basic document put together by the leaders of Area 51. These are good to send out to first time Qs as they plan their workout.
Link 1 – First Time Q (brief, to the point)
Link 2 – Q101 – (not as brief, but filled with TR goodness)
There are also some good pre-run options if you are interested in that. These are no-drop runs, meaning that nobody will get left behind. The faster guys will circle back and pick up the six periodically. Much of the course is on-campus and it is easy to modify it to fit distances between 1 and 6 miles.
Schedule for Saturday 9/5/2015:
– Horsehead
19 for Outland this AM, finally taking the numbers crown for Saturday workouts in Area51! The FNGs keep coming as the EH-ing continues. We didn’t have any FNGs today, but a lot of guys who are just getting into F3 seriously now and keep inviting their friends to post. That is how we #giveitaway.
The Thang:
Mosey to the Sun Valley bus lot with run variations along the way to loosen up.
Stop for planks to catch up the six, and then mosey to Shiloh Elementary School bus lot for COP.
Line up at the Gate for the 2nd official running of The Scalded Monkey (click link for embarrassing photo of Countertop). This is a timed AYG mile, along the road between the 18 different schools that share this campus. Goal is 7 mins. 2nd place has to lead Mary while the winner calls out times.
Sorry I didn’t get exact times.
Mary led by Glass Joe
1 min water break
Long Indian Run to the practice field.
SSH led by Glass Joe while the Q ran back for his iPhone (more on this later)
Timed circuits (also stolen from Les Mis at Skunkworks on Tuesday)
3 mins to complete, 2 min rest – 4 time through the whole routine
Pinball run back up a shovel flag hill as barren as Glass Joes head. #heforgot #wedidn’t
6MOM
Smoked fo sho
Lots of strong showings on the Monkey, with some guys really pushing to finish. Tonawanda, in particular, gutted it out at the end. Happy also was thrilled with his 8:15 time, even wearing the giant #Geraldo knee brace. He said he thought he would be in the 9:30 range for sure but he is #gettingstronger and #gettingfaster. Glass Joe led the pack early, taking a pretty good sized lead at the turnaround point. EE dropped the hammer of Thor on him quickly on the back stretch though, basically sprinting the whole thing and smoking us all – then running back to pick up the six. He has a gear that I am not familiar with.
After we were halfway through the long Indian Run over to the practice field, I realized I had left my iPhone back at the gate. I needed it for the timer, so I called out to my 2.0 Boondock to bring it over. He was standing about 3 feet from it, and it was on top of a post at eye level. He stared directly at it and then furiously looked around. After much unfruitful yelling for the phone, I ran back to retrieve it myself and then ran all the way back to the field. This was most unpleasant. I think he has a future as a treasure hunter, or perhaps an actual Goonie.
The timer circuits almost killed me at Skunkworks on Tuesday, trying to keep up with Side Straddle Bulldog. I figured that they would be a good follow up to the Monkey. Good thing we ran out of time for that 5th set, because I was smoked.
Happy (AR-15 golf ball shooter guy) is an EH machine. He is bringing them out left and right, and has a few more in the works.
Hairband has a busted wheel, but still posted with us wearing the Ruck and did what he could. We were glad to have him (except when he assaulted me), and sometime just coming out is the best medicine. Hopefully he will be back at it soon.
Good to have Zip out with us this week. He modified the workout, but not the heckling and mumblechatter. Hope to have you back in Charlotte soon.
6 Stayed for the #Grindstone, which we moved to BoJangles today due to the high attendance at coffeteria. We did an intro to the Book of James #NTProverbs and discussed the first half of Chapter 1. Trials are something that every man will face, some more severe and life-altering than others. They will sharpen you and your faith, and build perseverance and trust in the Lord. Lean on Him and your brothers and you will not be given more than you can handle.
– Horsehead
86 awesome dads and 2.0s posted this Saturday AM at Colonel Francis Beatty park for the 2015 kickoff of Area51 F3 Dads.
The Thang:
COP:
Water Break
Ark Loader – race your dads:
Water Break
Smaug’s Gold Game:
Split large group into 5 teams by counting off. Each team takes a bandanna. Smaug (Dad) in the middle of circle guards the gold (bandanna) while the Hobbits (2.0s) try to steal it from him without being burned up (tagged). If the 2.0 steal the gold, they pick another dad to be Smaug.
Tunnel of Love – two lines: #crowdgoeswild. Dads make tunnels, 2.0s go through the tunnels. Near Mutiny here, but we held it together.
COP:
Done
Moleskine:
Great showing for the kickoff of this fun event. It was hot out there, but it looked like everyone was having a great time. It’s always fun to get the smaller kids and the daughters out for these events, as well as to see other guys who we don’t normally post with.
Lots of Dads got smoked by their 2.0s on the Ark Loader. I got owned on the bear crawls. Oh, to be tiny and pain free . . .
Tunnel of Love was rough, lots of weeping and gnashing of teeth by the #SuperDads out there. I wonder who the jerk was that told the kids to go back around and get in line again? I tried to go through the tunnel myself, but it somehow collapsed on me.
The bandanna game was a gamble, but it seemed to go over pretty well with everyone. It looked like the 2.0s were having their way with most of the teams . . . and then there was Alf. Crouched like a panther, with the bandanna rolled into a tiny ball on the ground, Alf swatted away Hobbits like an angry Cave Troll. Reminded me of Bratwurst mercilessly running the kiddos down last year during Sharks and Minnows, which I think Alf Q’d ironically. #justkidding bud – looked like everyone was having fun out there.
Fun Times
Horsehead