Monthly Archive July 2018

The Hateful 8

Coming off of the IPA train (Jai Alai, Juicy J, Pernicious) YHC put together a workout to help flush every ounce of that golden goodness out of the body titled “The Hateful 8”. Initially, there were thoughts of working the parking deck into the mix but YHC just couldn’t waste a beautiful, breezy morning in the hot box. 10 Pax arrived via vehicle, on foot and Abacus must have teleported because I didn’t even see him show up until we were mid-way thru the warm-up mosey. To recap:


  • Short mosey around the backside of Viva Chicken looping back to the launch
  • 20 SSH
  • 10 Merkins
  • 10 Mountain Climbers
  • 10 Low Slow Squats

The Hateful 8

  1. Burpee
  2. Starfish Crunch
  3. Plyo Merkin
  4. Bombjack
  5. Mountain Climber
  6. Merkin
  7. Jump Squats
  8. Burpee Broad Jump

Tabata sytle, ON = 20sec, OFF = 10sec thru The Hateful 8 followed by a recovery loop (same loop as warm-up) for 8 total rounds, eliminating (from the bottom) an exercise after every round until finishing with (1) 20sec round of Burpees to close it out.

This left us with 1min on the clock which was utilized for plank into 6inch hold and into COT.


  • A few technical difficulties to start out but it was worth the wait to have a soundtrack other than 45min of mouthbreathing, farts and groaning to tabata out to
  • Would like to thank Rage Against the Machine, Metallica, ZZ Top, AC/DC, Black Label Society and last but surely not least Katy Perry for the takeout on the final round
  • Strong group of PAX today pushing through some difficult tabata rounds and several treating the recovery loop as anything but a recovery (Doc McStuffins, McGee, Uncle Leo) great push to up the pace for the rest of the group.
  • All of the beer has successfully left my body


  • Big SANDBOX project this weekend and it’s not too late to volunteer, hit up the #sandbox channel on Slack for more details on this project and more upcoming/on-going
  • New Thursday style AMRAP coming to the Cerberus site soon, details to come
  • (2) Awesome events upcoming:
    •  CLT Craft Course (8/18/18) – Brewery Hopping via Running (6 breweries in 4 miles) – check out #beerrun channel on Slack for more details
    • Crane Relay (10/26/18) – check out the pre-blast and sign up Crane Relay Link

45 Minutes of Pleasure

After missing way too many Kevlar workouts this summer, I learned our scheduled Q could not make it and offered to lead. Orange Whip reluctantly agreed, especially after I disclosed I consumed Ilios Noche last night. Knowing this has been the most consistent successful Friday post for our F3 brethren; I knew I’d have to step up a bit. So with that said and a little pleading from a few Ghost Runner’s the night before, 13 of us embarked on a classic strength based bootcamp.

Basic mosey onto campus only to see several cars driving around for some odd reason. Circled up for SSH, IW and LBC x 20 with 10 merkins OYO in between (regular, wide arm, diamond). Mosey over to LAX field for grinders; jump squats on one end, merkins on the other, running in between switching up; about 6 times through. Mosey to rock pile for lifting rocks, overhead press, tricep extension, bicep curls times 20 (all three exercises, thanks Bulldog) and then run down road and back. Three full sets. Plank/recover. 10 Thrusters x2 with run down road and back. Plank/recover. Mosey to hotbox for three sets of dips, derkins, step-ups x 20. Ouch. Mosey back across street to parking lot. Final sprint, backwards then turn halfway and knock it out. Mosey back to launch for some mary provided by various PAX. Flutters, Slow old school sit ups, Backscratchers, Freddie Mercury…and then Squid brought out the Men’s Journal page 31 summer workout special. Not sure if we agreed on “tip toe” or “plank baby step” or whatever; but it was stretching and core. Done.

I can’t tell you how nice it was to get back out there. Between a nagging injury, family vacations and just stuff, I’ve missed a lot of workouts. We were greeted with beautiful weather and a solid group of guys. Some idle banter, strong encouragement and everyone worked hard. As mentioned, mostly veteran regulars out there. Orange Whip and Fletch pushed the pace making the old guys look bad. Hanni has become the youngest regular, and quite speedy, great to see Pavarotti bringing the pain along with lowering the average age. Wham-O first timer at Kevlar (and new neighbor of mine I just learned), just started F3 on Monday with a Magee Matrix beat down and still came back for a Fun Friday with us. Glad to have you out there!!

I feel good, hope everyone else does also and uses this to kickstart into the weekend. Be safe. Hug your family members. Call those not close by (don’t just text or DM them). Thoughts and Prayers for Destiny and Good Hands. Thanks to Squid for the takeout.

All Aboard the Burpee Train for the Journeyman!

Since Halfback stepped up to Q for us at #Dromedary yesterday, I told him I would take #TheFloater so he could avoid 3 straight days of Q’ing. Even for a young, 23-year old like Halfback, 3 days in a row is alot.   Here’s how it went, in my typical fashion:

Mosey over to the new “Greenspace” area under the Water Tower, circle up, Warm-up:

  • (20) SSH
  • (20) IW
  • (10) Potato Pickers
  • (10) Plank Jacks
  • (10) Low Slow Squat

The Thang:

Mosey over in front of Waxhaw Creamery (awesome!), partner up.  Each partner completes (2) Rounds of each:

  • P1 Dips/P2 Run to Bridge, Backwards run back
  • P1 Derkins/P2 Run to Bridge, Backwards run back
  • P1 Knee-Ups/P2 Run to Bridge, Backwards run back
  • P1 Step-ups/P2 Run to Bridge, Backwards run back

To the Bridge for 7’s:

  • Merkins on one side
  • Carolina Dry Docks on the other

We interrupt this program to bring you a special bulletin! The Burpee Train has Arrived!

(For those who don’t know…The Burpee Train means you do Burpees from the time the train arrives until it is gone)

We were literally on the bridge at about the 5 & 2 mark when we heard the horn. I’m not sure how many times the Pax has experienced the Burpee Train in the months of Floater, but I doubt it coincided with actually being on the Bridge during an exercise when it arrived.  We did Burpees for about 4 minutes…not too bad.  Back to the Plan…

Complete 7’s, Mosey across Main St down towards S Providence Elementary.

Grab a Wall for some leg raises, followed by:

  • (20) Donkey Kicks
  • (20) Mike Tyson’s

At this point, Shake-n-Bake started to shed his shirt and jump around like he was on Fire…apparently he was, thanks to the Fire Ants we didn’t see. Q Fail, fellas. Sorry, S-n-B!

Mosey back toward town, at every Stop Sign do (3) Burpees until reaching the church. Some quick Mary with:

  • H2H
  • Pistol LBC
  • Freddie Mercury
  • Dolly
  • Protractor



Always a great privilege to be with our F3 brothers. Thanks to Fuse Box and Moneyball for holding down the AO and allowing me to lead. Downtown Waxhaw is a tremendous AO and everyone who attends for the first time agrees it is unique. Big Shout Out to Mighty Mite for completing the Journeyman Challenge with his post at The Floater today. Very impressive, brother. I don’t know if I’ve even done 22 workouts lately and you’ve been to 22 different AO’s.

Outside of Shake-n-Bake being mauled by Fire Ants, everyone seemed to stay out of harm’s way and enjoy the workout. Foley always has a smile on his face, or is that pain? Beckham keeps showing up and getting stronger! Rubbermaid amazes me that he can work out with his phone in the holster. Good to see Mad Dog back today from Beantown. Thanks to Halfback and Stub Hub for the impromptu Coffeeteria at Crossroads Coffee House. I have offered the Pax Coffee on me after every workout I’ve led at The Floater, and nobody has taken me up on it. Glad we got to catch up, fellas.


  • SandBox service opportunity is NOW BACK ON in Indian Land. This Saturday, 9am. Please let Soft Pretzel and/or Shop Dog know if you can help out.

YHC took us out in prayer. We are all blessed, fellas. Keep working hard…our families are relying on us!




Summer Excursion at the Maul

It was hot and humid but 14 decided to enjoy a Daddy’s morning out at the Maul.  At or about 5:30 the disclaimer was given and we moseyed around the parking lot and proceeded with some classic old man exercises.


SSHs, Cotton pickers, Imp walkers, Abe Vigodas, merkins, planking with up/down dog to loosen up the old hammies and back


Mosey the mile loop around Stonecrest stopping at every speed bum and stop sign for alternating merkins x10 and LBCs x20; start near movie theatre and head towards Wendys, past Chick Filet, take a right at the GNC and head behind target and teeter and end up back at move theatre.  Someone said it was about a mile loop, did not confirm. Once complete go back and finish with the six.

Circle up for some more stretching… YHC desperately needs this.  Moseyed over to the hill east of the movie theatre for some partner work.  P1 stays and does Dry docks (with proper form as demonstrated) until P2 returns. P2 runs up hill for 10 jump squats.  Repeat a total of 3 times.

Take a lap around the movie theatre and return to the north side (the back) for some wall work.  People chair with some air presses.  Take another lap around the theatre and return to the back for some more people chair… then 2 sets of 10 count balls to the wall… thank Madame for the presses from the BTTW position.  Very next level type stuff right there. Continue on around the theatre and back to launch for some Mary until times up.


Q forgot his watch so thanks for the timekeeping and that’s why we didn’t wander to far from launch.  Thanks Tool Bag and No Show even tough he no showed, I really enjoy that AO.

Swerving Tunnel of Love

  • 30 SSH
  • 25 Imperial walkers
The Thang:
  • Mosey to track. Sevens with Backwards hill run. Merkens at top. Lbc at bottom.
  • 3 Laps around track. 50, 75, 100 percent
  • Mosey to soccer field. Curving tunnel of love.
  • Mosey to first road on greenway. LA freeway to the valley (with backwards sprints)
  • Run the valley.  50, 75, 100 percent
  • 50 Merken March
  • Mosey to Woods
The Mary (woods style)
  • Rosalita wip
  • LBC
  • Freddie Mercury 
  • Flutter
  • Mosey up the hill.  Plank it out
Great morning for a workout under the stars. Funny farm caught a frog. Sloppy couldn’t handle the swerve and we survived a few tunnel collapses.  Thankful for these men!
  • F3 Dads on Saturdays at 9a at freedom park train
  • 24 hours of booty F3 parties on 7/27 and 7/28. Family friendly.
  • Pray for Funny’s family with the passing of his grandmother. Pray for soft hearts among family.

Getting A Little Love

13 PAX made the right choice and posted at #F3Peak51 for their #DownPAINment and here’s how it went down.


  • SSH x 20
  • Merkins x 10
  • Low Slow Squats x 20
  • Imperial Walkers x 20

The Thang:

Mosey over to the track, take a warm up lap stopping at the playground, time for the Min-Murph workout. The PAX completed the following set, then took a lap around the track, repeato 5 times.

  • Pull-ups x 5
  • Merkins x 10
  • Squats x 15

Head over to the hill for a Jacob’s Ladder up to seven, Carolina Dry Docks at the bottom and lunges at the top.

We then headed over to field behind the softball field. Plank it up, shoulder to shoulder for some tunnel of love.

Times up so we moseyed back to the start point where we caught up with the Sparta PAX    for some Mary.


  • LBCs x 20
  • Flutter Kicks x 20
  • Rosalita x 15
  • Dollys x 15


  • Strong effort by the PAX to day, we put in over 2 miles with all the laps an  moseying around the AO, which we explored quite a bit during the workout.
  • We completed a “Mini-Murph” with the pull-ups, push-ups, squats, and running. I’ll be participating in an GORUCK Light event this weekend, Operation Redwings, which will honor those lost during that mission including Lt. Michael Murphy. Lt. Murphy was graduate of my alma matter, Patchogue-Medford High School Class of 1994, for which they’ve renamed the campus in his honor. A little more information on Lt. Murphy below.
    • “Michael Patrick “Murph” Murphy (7 May 1976 – 28 June 2005) was a United States Navy SEAL officer who was awarded the U.S. military’s highest decoration, the Medal of Honor, for his actions during the War in Afghanistan. He was the first member of the U.S. Navy to receive the award since the Vietnam War. His other posthumous awards include the Silver Star Medal (which was later upgraded to the Medal of Honor) and the Purple Heart. Michael Murphy was born and raised in Suffolk County, New York. He graduated from Pennsylvania State University with honors and dual degrees in political science and psychology. After college he accepted a commission in the United States Navy and became a United States Navy SEAL in July 2002. After participating in several War on Terrorism missions, he was killed on 28 June 2005, after his team was compromised and surrounded by Taliban forces near Asadabad, AfghanistanThe U.S. Navy ship, the USS Michael Murphy, and several civilian and military buildings have been named in his honor.”
  • The tunnel of love was a crowd favorite, a little GORUCK style.
  • Swiss Miss was #LarryBird most of the workout, no surprise he’s one of the fittest dudes on Area 51.
  • Lois has has gotten strong and slim. He’s also quite the trivia affecianado and would be quite handy at trivia night.
  • Slim Fast was his usual encouraging and positive self. He’s a true #HIM in Area 51, just post to Mountain Goat and you’ll see why.
  • Dora was out there pushing it, a little Broga at Gumby yesterday goes a long way.
  • YHC learned Snoopy is a beach volleyball player, #TopGun anyone?
  • Happy was out there pushing it through injury, nice job.
  • Good seeing Gulluah out there again, with the Peak 51 regulars.
  • Compliance, Bernie, and Madoff have all gotten much stronger than their first post, #LarryBirds out there.
  • Peak 51 is one of YHC’s favorite AOs, awesome PAX and great energy whenever I post there.
  • Thanks to Sensei and Lois for the opportunity to lead and please sound off with any mumblechatter not captured above.


  • Crane Relay 10/26/2018:
  • GORUCK Ruck Club battle coming soon to Charlotte, stay tuned.
  • SPEARHEAD Pathfinder Class starts 8/1, if you’re interested in doing a GORUCK event or ruck training this is the program for you. F3 discount code: F3NATION017 20% off the Endure and Forward programs  signip here:

Was it something I said?

YHC rolled into Elizabeth Lane Elementary at about 5:25 this morning to find only one other car. I checked my watch to confirm that I didn’t have the wrong day of the week or time, then got out to prepare for the workout. Tulip emerged from his vehicle to join me. At 5:30, we both confirmed that it was Thursday and prepared to begin the beatdown. As we were about to start, High Tide pulled up rocking some tunes in the blue Jeep to increase our numbers by 50%. After a proper disclaimer (not really, but just pretend like it was said), we proceeded thusly:


  • 20 swings OYO
  • 3 halos each way OYO
  • 20 swings OYO
  • 3 prying squats
  • 20 swings OYO

The Thang:

Singles set – do not put the bell down:

  • 5x 1 arm swings (left arm)
  • 3x clean, 3x squat, 3x press (left arm)
  • 5x merkins
  • Repeato at the top of the next minute with the right arm. Alternate arms every minute on the minute (EMOTM) for 20 minutes.
  • The plan was for pax with bells >20kg do 1-3 reps, 16kg-20kg do 3-5 reps, and <16kg do 5-7 reps. All pax opted for the >20kg category, so we did 3 reps each round.

Partner up by bell size for a doubles set:

  • 1x clean
  • 1x press per side
  • 1x front squat
  • 1x renegade row per side
  • 1x deep merkin on the bells

Partners flapjack every :30 seconds for 20 minutes of EMOTM. After about 8 rounds, everyone had settled into their bell size of choice so there was no need to flapjack and we completed the remaining sets together. All pax agreed to go a bit over the time to get the last 8 or so rounds in. You can blame it on High Tide’s tardiness.

Thanks to High Tide for taking us out in COT. Prayers to High Tide and his family on the recent loss of his mother-in-law.


  • Check out the Crane Relay, from the mind of Frasier. As in Frasier Crane. Get it? Anyway, this is the first iteration of a running relay where teams are drafted by the captains. For those of the pax with nightmares of being picked last in dodgeball/gym, this is a chance to relive that, but in a fun way. Pre-blast is here.
  • BRR season is in full swing. Tulip claims he can’t run it because he doesn’t run long distance, then said he can run 6-7 miles. If someone needs a fast due, you should start working on Tulip.

Moley, moley:

  • YHC had a different title prepared for this workout, but changed it up based on the low turnout. You can tell it’s BRR/vacation season when you get 3 guys at a 0.0 workout. #discrimination As High Tide said on Twitter, what we lacked in quantity, we more than made up for in quality. With the slight breeze and lower temps, it was a great morning to be out swinging the bells. Lower reps and sufficient recovery time allowed for better form and more conversations than the usual grunting we get at Meathead. While the EMOTM starts out feeling pretty easy, they add up and you start feeling it after a few sets.
  • I found these workouts on Instagram. I highly suggest the pax check out @sokolstrong. He’s a StrongFirst instructor in the Pacific Northwest and he posts great workouts and very informative videos. Definitely worth your time if you’re into kettlebells and strength training. Sokol did the doubles bottoms up, which is way harder than it looks. I audibled out of that since it would have required much smaller bells and the chances of being able to front squat 2 bottoms up bells is about 0%. #ialsolikemyteethinmyface

Do you hate yourself right now?

19 pax (including 2 2.0’s) arrived (really) early at Stonecrest for the Incredibles 2, so they decided to do a workout. Painstations just happened to be set up, and it went something like this:

Mosey to the newly re-paved parking lot in front of Target. It’s lovely. Great place for a quick COP:

Imperial Squat Walkers x 10 IC
Peter Parker Merkins x 10 IC

Mosey to the back of Target and partner up for the Death Crawl. P1 starts bear crawling, P2 runs to the last speed bump and turns around. Once P2 gets to P1, flapjack. Continue until both pax reach the last speed bump.

After that warm-up, mosey to the bottom of Stone Mountain for the start of circuit:

Pax are to run up Stone Mountain twice. Then head down the main road through Stonecrest. At the first three speed bumps (these are plentiful at this AO), do 10 merkins and 10 plank jacks. After the third speed bump, head to the fountain area for 15 derkins and 15 dips. After that, head to the small lot next to Cantina 1511 for hairburners. Push the plate to the cone (20 yards) and back. Do 15 incline merkins and 20 LBCs on the ledge between Cantina and Firebird’s, then mosey to the narrow parking lot west of Firebird’s for bucket carry (buckets with 3 large brick pavers in each). Carry to the cone (35 yards) and back. Mosey to the base of Stone Mountain. Rinse and repeat. All pax got 2 rounds in. The leaders led Mary while waiting for the 6, then we headed back to launch, arriving right at 6:15.

Witty Commentary

A lot of mumbles and grumbles from the Pax this morning. It started immediately with the combo moves for COP, grew distinctly louder during the Death Crawl, and then, all of a sudden, changed to downright adoration during the circuit (at least, in my head it did). Billy Goat eloquently asked if YHC hated myself during the circuit. Of course I did. If it’s easy, the Q isn’t doing his job. Guys come out for a beatdown, not an easy stroll through a parking lot.

There was a distinct stench behind Target, near the dumpsters. A lot of lively debate among the pax about whether or not it came from the dumpsters or from Frehley’s.

Fredo is a beast on bear crawls. YHC was lucky enough to partner up with him.

Mic Check, Cheddar, Das Boot, and Fredo were leading the way on the circuit.

Cheddar asked if YHC was trying to hurt people. No, just make you stronger.

It’s amazing how much the pax enjoy hairburners. We should do those more often.

Thanks to Paper Jam for leading the pax in Mary at the end, and for the takeout.

Hope y’all enjoyed that. YHC sure didn’t, but it got the job done. Now time to watch some British Open before meetings begin for the day.

A lesson on Cousins…..

13 mighty men gathered for another edition of Hydra this morning.  It felt slightly cooler at 5:29, but by 5:32 we were sweating like John Candy in a sauna.  After a proper disclaimer (Spackler called it “cute” because I said I would be with everyone in spirit….I thought that was a nice thing to say, but whatevs), we headed on:

Warm Up:

Jog to opposite side of OPE for:

  • 15 SSH
  • 15 LS Squats (Curd noticed I slowed down on pivoting as the count went on….#oldmanhips!)
  • 15 IWs

Mosey across the street to the never ventured south side of Windy Rush.  Stopped at first stop sign and partnered up.  Both partners do 10 hand slap merkins to start, then split up and ran the loop in opposite directions.  10 HSM’s again when you meet each other on loop and 10 again at the end of the loop. A few people called for a second loop, but we had to move on…too much planned.

Mosey and Cross Rea to the often ventured north side of Windy Rush.  Stop at each street light on the left for 5 CDD’s until we hit Foxborough.  Stop for some LBC’s.

At Foxborough, triple nickel with 5 air squats at bottom of the hill and 5 HR merkins at the top.    One Eye, Queen and Marge led the whole dang time!  Sweet work, boys!  I led from the back…again, I care about your safety!

One Eye took us through a little Mary at the bottom of Foxborough.  We then headed into the woodsy pathway that connects Foxborough to the back fields of OPE.  It was at this time that Spackelr started holding court and telling us about “animal cousins”.  F3 bylaws and human decency require me to stop there with the explanation, but ask Spackler at his next post…..probably have to wait until November or December!

Once at the back football practice field, partner up again for a variety of partner carries, forward running, backward running, wheel barrow partnering, bear crawling, etc.  We did a little planking and Mary back there, too.  Lots of moaning and groaning, frankly.

Mosey to front baseball field and partner up again.  Partner 1 runs the bases while Partner 2 does stated exercise.  I believe we did WA Merkins, Russian Twists, Garden Variety Merkins and maybe Freddy Mercury.  We finished up that with some additional Mary.

Finished up with six gassers at the open field near the batting cages.  I asked several guys for a ten count in between gassers…..Bugeater got cut off on the second to the last count so he got another chance for the final count…sorry bro!

That’s a wrap!


We covered 3.1 miles today!  Love this workout and the men who attend.  This is one I rarely miss each week because you can count on the same banter, but tough, griddy workouts.  Thanks for letting me lead Queen and Marge!  We definitely had some standout performers today, but the pax really stuck together which makes Qing a luxury.  Thanks for being easy on me boys!


Marge is sending out the Hydra Q schedule for the second half of 2018.  (note to all…turn off your g mail account).  Bugeater is on next week!

Revlon is having a second baby.  Wife due next week.  Congrats, but get rest now bro!!

Jet Fuel….excellent take-out prayer!  Thank you!

That’s all part of the experience, honey.

We all know F3 guys who still pay to go a gym or club – Spackler and Jet Fuel have Orange Theory, Hopper has Raintree, Puddin’ Pop has The Lodge. But today, something spectacular happened at The Fishing Hole.

The 7 men who gathered were vigorously disclaimed, then headed over to the parking deck. We did various warmings up on the way up to the top floor where we finished our warm up with the standard IW/MC/Squat trio. Partner up and run down the deck, stopping at each turn for 10 partner derkins or 10 old school situps.

Head out of the deck to the picnic tables in front of the school. 10 jump ups, 10 incline merkins, 10 dips. Repeat with 15 reps then again with 10.

Mosey across the street to the shopping center. Upon reflection, we decided to gather in the lot in front of Planet Fitness to show them what they were missing. On the way in, Margo said the last time he’d been in that parking lot, Haze had come walking out of Planet Fitness. We started dropping a Dirty McDeuce right there in the parking lot – 12 reps of three exercises, then a lap around that median over there. Repeat 4 times total. During our third lap, wouldn’t you know that Haze walks by on his way to his car from the gym. Chelms called it the Walk of Shame. Apparently you don’t get yuge like Haze without actual weight equipment – lifting drainage rocks is not enough. Haze was a good sport, taking the verbal assault from the PAX and joining us for a couple of exercises (not the run though).

We got back to the parking deck and ran out the clock by running the stairs a couple of times, plank walk with merkins and some protractor.

Thanks for the opportunity to lead, guys. Fun crowd this morning. My week of Qs wraps up on Saturday – Cooter (not the Metro or Huntersville one) and I are splitting the Q at RockZero. This is his VQ – I’ve seen his Weinke, and it’s magnificent.

Sign up for the Crane Relay. It’s going to be a lot of fun.
If you prefer beer with your running, check out the #beerrun channel on Slack. 8/18 at noon – 6 breweries, 4 miles. We did it last year and had a great time sweating on the millenials at the breweries.