19 men took the red pill, chose not to give up F3 for Lent, and posted at Centurion on a perfectly brisk friday morning. YHC showed up just in time, stated the obligatory disclaimer, and off we went.
The Thang
Run up the parking deck. Circle up for Imperial Walkers, Merkins, LBCs.
Run down and across 51 to Pallantine Hill for a triple nickel/Bermuda triangle:
Run back to the CCHS picnic tables via McDonald’s carpark, resisting temptation to order hash browns.
Run back to base the long way, via wells fargo branch.
Done. Announcements:
Good work by all today. ~3mi covered based on my watch. Always a privilege to lead @ Centurion!
13 posted for #gainz courtesy of a promised #0.0 and TGU-free beatdown. What transpired over the next 45 minutes solidified their reputations as beasts, efficient ones at that.
Disclaimer – not really needed for this group of vets, so something along the lines of a brief “I’m not a professional; don’t hurt yourself” was given.
The Thang
YHC adapted a plan from StrongFirst Master SFG Jon Engum called Deep Six. His plan was written expressly for use with groups and was estimated to last ~45 minutes. Perfect. For our purposes, a few modifications were made to (a) substitute overhead reverse lunges in place of the original TGUs (you can lead a horse to water…), (b) eliminate some of the rest periods (’cause we hate standing around), and (c) reduce the jogs to walks to preserve our #0.0 status.
Additionally, YHC noticed, after making the original #weinke, that Jon had an “advanced” version of the same workout in a ladder format. Hmm, we’ll save that for future use…or, will we…
COP – aka Deep Six – Round One
Left side:
Round Two
Left side:
Round Three
Left side:
Round Four
Complete on Left side + Right side without setting the bell down:
Done! Wait, that was supposed to take us 45 minutes?! It’s only 5:45!!
Audibles:
Playground Circuit for the March Pullup & Merkin Challenge
Advanced Deep Six – Ladders
(Complete on Left side + Right side with setting the bell down)
Meathead Mary
(Bulldog – are we going until 6:30 today? YHC – no, it just feels like it.)
Rinse & Repeato – Advanced Deep Six – Ladders
(Complete on Left side + Right side without setting the bell down)
(Bulldog – no, seriously. What time is it? YHC – 6:13; time enough for one more round.)
6:15 Done! Yes, really this time.
COT
Announcements:
Naked Moleskine:
Good group out today. After the thunderstorm last night and the brisk temps this morning, it was good to see a Meathead Dozen (13) out today.
There was some initial mumblechatter as we began our COP/warmup in Round One, but that quickly subsided, either due to us being in our pain caves or because Meatheads have to concentrate to count to 5 and remember 4 exercises.
Well, it’s a good thing that YHC always makes contingency plans and had the Ladder work in mind. Never thought we’d blow through that in 15 minutes! We should have picked up a few minutes, as a few rest breaks (laps) were cut out, but that doesn’t account for our speed. It’s probably more a testiment to our workout style (typically very few breaks and lots of reps) and the fact that our bells are relatively light. As Rx’d, most should have been using a 20-24 kg, depending age, weight, & KB experience. But, it also depends on your goals. No matter; by the end, it seemed everyone was ready for the end and got in a good workout. 2 workouts in 1, in fact. Plus, knocked out the pullups & merkins for today. Bonus.
Saturday, 3/4, marks 4 years in F3 for YHC. Noticed that Baracus & Wingman also celebrated 4 years this week. Like them, I’m thankful for all the iron-sharpening and, most of all, your friendships & comradery. It’s no comparison to the #sadclown workouts I was doing at the #fern before F3. Thank you.
Thanks, Header, for the take-out today.
And, thanks for the opportunity to lead today. It’s always an honor.
Aye.
12 men survived some serious uphill running at Hydra.
Warmup
– SSH
– IW
– Time to move on out of the wind
Big Hill Suicide
– Run to bottom of Summerlin
– Run to first speed bump, 10 merkins, return, 10 squats
– 2nd speed bump, 10 wide arms, return, 10 squats
– Rea road, 10 diamonds, return, 10 squats
– Various mary and lunges at bottom of Summerlin
Small Hill 7s
– Run to bottom of Foxworth
– 7s with burpees at top and squat jumps at bottom
– Various mary
Back home
– Run up Windyrush, 10 Carolina drydocks at lightposts on right, 10 lunges at lightposts on left (more CDDs)
– Finish with mary
Solid group out this am, I think we were all ready to move after standing in the wind waiting to get started. I’m feeling out of shape, so wanted to get some running in this am. We hit 3.5 miles according to Flutie Flakes, so mission accomplished with lots of elevation change thrown in. Too much smack talk to recount here. No announcements, on with the day. Thanks for the opportunity to lead.
Harley
17 pardy-hardy gents released their inhibitions and felt the rain on their skin this morning at DT to celebrate the 1-year anniversary of the LC at 5 Knolls. No coddling of the pax today with chalk arrows today – read the preblast, or get lost. A mediocre explanation of the course, and we were off. What was once a seemingly unattainable challenge of 3 full laps up the LC now seems commonplace with some speedsters lighting up the course. Notably, Fahvra nabbed the CR crown for the LC. Frasier was either not there, or forgot his watch – both plausible excuses.
Other sightings were sparse this morning. I drove from the backseat this morning:
Ball out this weekend,
HB
Disclaimer given with a minute to spare and we were off.
Frehleys comet was thrown off. We did Imperial Walkers First
The Thang
Imperial Walkers x 15 In Cadence (IC)
15 Windmeal x 15 IC
15 Side Straddle Hops IC
10 Merkins IC
15 Mountain Climbers IC
Mosey to Elm
Find Five Street Lights
at each light:
Over the small hill
Down the big hill
10 Merkins
Back up and over
Move to next light
Doc McS decides he needs a sixth round…
plank-o-ram-a while we wait on the six. followed by 6-inches
Mosey back down the hill
Backward run to the stop sign and circle up in front of target
M100
10 Burpees
10 Mountain Climbers (Cadence Count)
10 Double Squat Thrust Jumps
Repeat until total rep count hits 100. That is 3 rounds plus ten extra burpees. Surprising how foggy the brain is in the gloom
Various six-exercises while we wait for the pax to finish up.
Mosey to Fountains
10 Derkins
10 Box Jumps/Leg Steps
10 Dips
Repeat for three rounds
All-you-got to Cantina 1511
Mosey to the hill behind Firebirds
Triple-Nickel
5 LBCs
Up the Hill
5 Squats
for 5 rounds
Back to Launch for exactly 7 Minutes of Mary
Starting position move of all exercises is 6-inches.
20 Rosalita IC
20 Fluttah IC
20 Dolly IC
20 Opposite elbow/knee LBC IC
Protractor various angles
20 Heels to the Heavens IC
Boat/Canoe
Thine Only Dirty Skine
Great to see some new faces out there: Tiny-Dancer, Toolbag. First to admit you may have been out for a while, however YHC has been suckling the warm insides of the Yoga Studio. YHC believes this is Choppers 4th week. Great work man, keep pushing. To the front-runners today: Doc McS, Goonie, Bucky, Heart Breaker. The reverse hills were no joke, but you all tore threw them like that fajitas YHC had last week. Always rock-solid and steady: Tuna, Van Pelt, Strawberry, Frehleys, Marlin.
YHCs 4-year anniversary. Can finally say YHC weighs less than at start. Iron-Sharpens-Iron, fantastic memories, great friends!
Now i have 1011 pull-ups to do and I’m off to Hot Yoga. Double-Down!
Announcements
Sign up for the Merkin/Pull-up Challenge – 100 merkins achieved already today!
Richard Sheltra 5k/10k Reminder
www.firstgiving.com/ggcckenya – Orphanage/ Boarding school in Western Kenya that came to be to support orphans from HIV/AIDS crisis. Up to > 700 students
Savage Race
1 year ago (3/3), the hills of 5 Knolls were discovered. Like Christopher Columbus sailing off the edge of the flat world (sup, Kyrie Irving), 14 dudes ventured into uncharted territory. Less than 1/2 a mile from one of the biggest AOs in A51, lay one of the biggest hills in A51 – the southern segment on 5 Knolls Drive – affectionately known as LC to those in the biz. Frasier holds the CR and is the lucky lad teed up to take LC to prom. Will anyone dethrone him and take the prom king crown?
**Update: upon further investigation, LC hasn’t decided who she’s taking to prom – Fahvra and Frasier share the CR, and there’s only room for one winner.
The challenge stands 1-year later:
Head north on Rea across 51, switch to left side of Rea. Take 3rd Left on Five Knolls Rd. Head down (and up) Five Knolls til you hit the dead end, about face back to Rea. One lap from the corner of Rea/Five Knolls to the dead end and back = 2 mi. Repeat as many times as possible and head the 1.1 mi back down Rea.
Here’s the breakdown, including the run to Five Knolls, and the return run back:
Adjust your laps accordingly to get back to the start by 0615.
xoxo,
HB
The chanting of “FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT… FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!” echoed throughout Section 111 of Bojangles Coliseum. Almost in perfect chorus, throngs of fans screamed at the top of their lungs with such vitriol for the opposing Cleveland Monsters player to get their teeth knocked out and sent to the hospital. Most would have expected the raucous to be coming from a belligerent Poptart, Udder, and Strawberry holding their 15th Bud Light beer cup stack. But on this day it was their young 2.0s screaming with such screeching treble in their voices for blood and injury from gladiators down in the coliseum ice rink. Video evidence later showed Strawberry dancing a hippie jig to the ‘Fight’ chant, which was being led by his ringleader 2.0 Chase #proudpapa, while Gumbo face palmed next to him and scurried to buy ear mufflers from the concession stands for his toddler 2.0s. The Checkers won 6-1, and 66 PAX, M’s and 2.0s left the arena filled with stadium junk food to go along with some great memories. This is the story of F3 Dads trip to the Charlotte Checkers Hockey Game.
The evening started off with Poptart casing the already shady Bojangles parking lot on Monroe Road sitting in his mini-van wearing his camo non-F3 shirt 2 hours before the game. He could have just gone inside and sat with Gumbo and his 2.0s, but he didn’t. Gumbo’s 2.0s already had their Checkers hats on and were ready to cheer #seasonedvets. Up roll Tolkien and Mr Brady with their band of five 2.0s (one borrowed from neighbor) ready for some greeeezy chicken and invite Poptart in from his minivan. Mr Brady followed instructions, and is wearing his black F3 shirt #GOOD which was tucked so deep into his hiked up jeans #BAD, that his beltline was covering the F3 chest logo. He would have made Steve Urkel look like his pants were sagging to the ground like MC Hammer had he been there! Escobar & 2.0 also showed up to Bojangles late, having to pick up a bag of white powder before the game, he was seen cutting the corner of the bag with a switchblade and tasting it first… hey, maybe he was bringing his own powdered sugar for the funnel cake he was going to take down at the game! A rogue Udder, and possibly his brother in-law Grafittti were going to Viva Chicken to eat healthy for the impossible clean-eating challenge, but after fat-shaming on Slack whoever was going to Bojangles, opted for another fried chicken joint, Chik-Fila-A , just to be anti-social. Thinking about it, Udder likely just wanted to hug the giant moo-cow dancing around the drive through at CFA and tug on it’s udders… his pregame routine. Big Papi tried to reroute the Pax to the Home and Garden Expo across the street, where he had spend several hours learning about trimming bushes #Bonsaiyousickos, making up some story about it taking 1.5hrs to get into the Checkers parking lot. It took about 3 minutes to get there dude.
The first Checkers score was early in the game on a slapshot from near the blue line on a set play. GOAL!!!! Not sure anyone cared… but it was a great shot right in front of us, and it got the energy flowing and brought out the cowbells, two of them which Tolkien’s 2.0s Gypsy Danger and Dragon Queen had brought. A few minutes later, Big Papi had stolen one of them, and like a big kid, was ringing the $%!* out of it on a second Checkers score while his kids were begging for them back #denied. Escobar would have seen the second goal, but he and Tolkien were taking a selfie which didn’t even turn out good. Grafitti would have seen the third goal, but he and Tolkien were distracted talking smack about Udder who spent nearly an entire period drawing a F3 Nation Sign out of a posterboard, and using every available black permanent marker to do it. It was a suhweet poster! So was Mr. Brady’s sign, which also sported a F3 Nation emblem, right next to the large words he wrote “PUCK ‘EM”. YHC’s son told me that he had spelled the word wrong… gulp. Think he was referring to “EM” being spelled “THEM” (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it). Supposedly the F3 Nation symbol and web address was flashed up on the jumbotron at one point, but everyone was too loopy to snap a picture of it and Tolkien missed seeing that too (buying concessions for 2.0s… smh).
Great to have Big Tuna come out, but at one point in the second quarter, the dude and his minnows looked like a fish out of water. He was seen with his school of 2.0s trolling the open rinkside seats as close to the ice as possible and wouldn’t be denied premier access, flopping from seat to seat next to all the fat cats in the lower bowl. If YHC remembers correctly, Geraldo, MT, Fallout, Wingman, Kirby, and Mermaid brought the M’s to the game, and we were happy to have them to chaperone… but it’s no coincidence that these men were also the best behaved of the night (more later). Witch Doctor didn’t say much about it, but he was mentally shaking his head sideways at all the nachos, cookies, and stadium food that everyone was taking down when his life’s purpose is to get everyone to eat clean and healthy! His 2.0s were seen happily eating a gluten-free cabbage and quinoa cookie, with some beet frosting that they snuck into the game. Speaking of bad food, welcome Honey Bee to the game! HB only shows up for running workouts, and wherever he can gorge himself of hotdogs. Dude had not one … not two … but THREE Bratwursts…. err, I mean hot dogs and should be renamed “Joey Chestnut” when he starts the next F3 AO at Coney Island called ‘Nathans’. HB left the earliest, immediately after the 2nd period, but not before eating the rest of Alf‘s 2.0s hot dog which had rolled under his seat. Speaking of Alf, he was dressed very dapper in his Ferragamo vest, which was actually a Van Hussein vest sold at JCPennys that he got at Goodwill. Whatever… he wasn’t wearing his F3 shirt. Neither was Poptart who was wearing some dirty looking camouflage rag from Cabela’s clearance rack. Neither was Wingman or Strawberry who wore Star Wars shirts as if the hockey game was some comicon event, and it wasn’t. Mermaid, Fallout, Tolkien, Geraldo, Witch Doctor, Kirby, Big Papi, Mr Brady (sort of) all followed instructions and wore the b@d@$$ black to rep F3 Nation.
Probably, the best part of the night happened when the game was nearly over with 6 minutes left to go. The Checkers game announcer who happens to be part of FIA aka “Puck” welcomed F3 Nation to the game over the intercom, and sent up two talented Check-Mates Cheerleaders to come dance with the kids in our section to the song ‘Jump Around’ by House of Pain while the kids were captured by the “Move-IT Cam” and put up on the jumbotron. All the kids couldn’t wait… and found their last bit of energy waving their signs and throwing down their best dance moves, even if it was past their bedtimes. While some unnamed PAX (rhymes with “Butter” and think NFL Quarterback Tom B____y ) made sure to capture every dance move by the Check-Mates… I mean 2.0s on their phones, the aforementioned Geraldo, MT, Fallout, Wingman, Kirby, and Mermaid didn’t see a thing as they were trying desperately to get on the kisscam with their M’s. Well done men. #nopeeking
In all seriousness, thanks again everyone for coming out to the Checkers Game. My kids and I had a blast and can’t wait for the next F3 Dads event. Stay tuned for that (camping?). We all have plenty of ideas for great events coming up, and if you have an idea share it! Make sure to joing the #F3Dads Slack channel to stay in the loop as well. Blessed to be surrounded with F3 men who are invested in their families lives that we can do LIFE together with.
Until Next Time, ~ JRR Tolkien
11 pax posted for their weekly stretching & mobility work and were served a meatloaf of various broga flows with a side of a countdown of the 66 Best Songs from Movies & TV. (Meatloaf, by the way, was not in the countdown.)
Disclaimer – I’m not a professional. Don’t do it if it hurts.
The Thang
COP
Main Event
Done
COT
Announcements:
Supple Moleskine:
Today’s workout was 95% a selection of flows from The Athlete’s Pocket Guide to Yoga, which YHC regularly uses (as does Swiss Miss). It’s pretty plug & play, really; you just string together flows based on the area you want to work on (e.g. leg flexibility or balance, etc), pick a devotional and a playlist, and boom. Instant Namaste. As we saw today, some, like the rolling ball thing, don’t work as well as others, but generally, the desired effect is achieved.
Well, our musical accompaniment was a little hit-or-miss. That was a countdown of the 66 Best Songs from Movies & TV from the Slacker app. Not sure how these were determined but some of the ones you missed after the workout included: Ghostbusters, Rainbow Connection (Muppets), Gangster’s Paradise, and It’s a Long Way to the Top. So, you decide whether we were counting down or up the list. Either way, next time, we’ll try something else.
Speaking of trying something else, a longer corpse pose was included at the end. How’d that go? Was it just right, too long, too short? Let me know.
A few observations:
This Saturday, YHC celebrates 4 years in F3 (and 12 years in Charlotte). It’s been a fantastic journey – all 3 Fs + the CSAUPs – and it’s a blessing to be counted among the pax. Looking forward to the coming years. Thank you for your friendship & support (& mumblechatter) and the opportunity to lead today.
Aye.
16 men gathered in a middle school parking lot at 5:30. I quickly took heat for my Jeep compared to Header’s. Mine is perfectly outfitted for the rugged roads of South Charlotte. Header is clearly compensating for something. What does that say about Tiger Rag’s Great Pumpkin? You decide. I delivered an adequate disclaimer, including a warning that we were going into Raintree where the pre-dawn drivers accelerate when they sense weakness, then off we went.
Yog out to 51, turn right to continue to the field at the entrance to Raintree. We fell right into the HOA’s trap for trespassing on that field when we slogged through a giant mud pit between the sidewalk and the field. I heard the usual groaning from the aging Area 51 crowd who doesn’t like to get dirty anymore. Quick warmup then over to the road that runs behind the Walmart (I’ll be using the names that I have in my head for the Raintree roads, not the real names that I’d have to look up).
Run down to the end (which Skywalker helpfully pointed out is not a cul-de-sac), stopping at each drive on the right for 10 HR merkins. Quick LBC recovery, healthy discussion of farting by Puddin’ Pop and Spackler, then run back the other way with 10 Jump Squats at each road.
Partner up in the strange Raintree shopping center (has anyone ever done business there? I don’t mean the kind of business that Joker does in Raintree, I mean has anyone spent money?). Partner one runs the staircase loop while partner 2 does an exercise. Flapjack. 4 laps each.
Mosey down to the road with the really big hill that has a golf course tee box on the left at the top of the hill. AYG down the hill to the bump, 20 monkey humpers, AYG back up. Freddie Mercury recovery.
Yog over to the hill on the way back to the school where we often do triple nickel. No time for that, partner 1 runs up while partner 2 does Peter Parker. Flapjack. The jog over to the stop sign where you turn right to go back to the school. Parker Peter. Run the terrible Fast Twitch Finish back to the starting place. Ugh. I saw a few guys who regretted their brisk starting pace and had to walk it out on Strawberry. There’s no shame in that. Finished with 5 solid minutes of Mary #MakeMaryGreatAgain.
Done. One of the worst count-offs I’ve ever seen. Also, no donuts.
Happy Birthday to Flutie Flakes who found no takers to do his 45 birthday burpees with him.
Donut Run – 6 miles of a painful hilly loop followed by competitive eating, hairy guys in flesh covered towels, and sweaty butt stains in the freshly cleaned Donut Shack lobby. I’m pretty sure the donuts cancel out the benefits of the run, and the other things are just a bonus negative. If you were to simply add a space to the “workout” name, you could call it “Do Not Run”. Following that advice, you’d probably reap similar benefits without the emotional scarring of seeing SemiNude Gloss traipsing around the parking lot in his wife’s bath towel.
Sounds bitter eh? Well, maybe I am. You see, last week was magical and I thought that Semi and I had a little something going. Nothing weird, you know, but a little #ISI and #firewood to keep us both honest. We actually finished the last 50 yards (emotionally) holding hands like Thelma and Louise. I can still smell the Axe spray and Two Buck Chuck pore seepage. I suppose sequels are usually letdowns, but this one was #jarjarbinks bad. I rolled in just on time at 5:13 (double deuce) all ready to go just to see Semi and his new thang Retread taking off and trying not to make eye contact. Seriously . . . five freaking thirteen? I thought about just going inside to suck the jelly out of a dozen or so, but they were not open yet. To cap it off, WingMan failed to show for the 2nd straight week after Slacking about it and Bushwood just straight up fartsacked.
Anyways . . . the run was about the same as always except I threw up in my mouth a little more than normal at the stretch between the Arboretum and Rea. That’s when TR came alongside to taunt encourage me and asked me if there were any other running workouts in A51 that he could post to. I was also passed by, let’s see, almost everyone else at some point during the run. Fantastic.
What else happened? This part is generally where Bushwood (who was not there because he was fartsacking) usually summarizes the donut shop conversations, flavored with his witty observations and confident-enough-to-wear-women’s-clothing-wearing panache. Since I left early, I’ll have to take my best guess.
Agony is considering replacing the his Summer Sermon Series with reruns of Reading Rainbow (in 4K). He ironically ran the whole route wearing a pair of Geordi La Forge glasses. Rumors are that he has never washed his camo pants and that they have actually posted a faster 10K time on their own than when he was wearing them.
Kirk looks like John Arbuckle. He was searching for Odie along the route, but came up empty handed. He ended up chasing Semi Gloss down with a two fistfuls of velcro and rode the last 1/3 of a mile back secretly attached to his back hair.
Hairball got his hairy dolphin tattoo replaced with one of Calvin peeing on something. He was too fast to for me to make it out completely.
Bunker looked bored during this A51 run without Honeybee and Haggis to chase after. I saw him reading the Simillarion by headlamp about halfway through, trying to understand one of Tolkien’s backblasts.
That’s about all for today.
toodles,
Horsehead