The following events may or may not be true, false, exaggerated or a figment of my imagination.
The plan was a guys getaway to the beach, relaxing and fun…
Until Jabberwocky sent out the agenda, and in an extremely small font that was the same color as the background to purposely go unnoticed to the untrained eye was the bullet point “F3 workout – led by Hairband.” #Truthnugget
#Truthnugget: A smallish chunk of Truth baked into a breading of humor, exaggeration and/or innuendo to make it palatable, interesting and/or memorable.
It all went something like this…
YHC (Your Humble Correspondent) shared that I was the Q (Workout leader) and the disclaimer was given as we had 3 FNGs (Friendly New Guys) and off we went. (Spelling things out in the backblast for the FNGs)
COP (Circle of Pain)
So, due to our location at the beach and being around a bunch of houses and the early gloom of a Saturday this turned into a traveling COP…
Let’s mosey! Run, stopping at multiple intersections for an exercise or 2 on the way to a parking lot near the water. (it was safer than it sounds, at least that is what I told myself as I led these foolish, I mean, trusting men.) We may as well have some nice scenery as we are sucking wind.
The exercises included:
The Thang
Once at the determined waterside AO (Area of Operation) it was go time. Four corners is a typical parking lot beatdown but this parking lot was a triangle so 3 corners it is!
I found myself in a common situation where midway into a bear crawl you realize it’s further than you think it will be, but, don’t Q it if you can’t do it right?! So onward I went.
When done do squats while waiting or get yourself some extra credit and go pick up the 6 (The guys at the back)
Next up
Plank up and do various plankwork for some active recovery.
Partner up!
P1 run the parking lot
P2 does Merkins until P1 returns, flapjack and repeato for 2 rounds
In the midst of that a blood curdling scream could be heard throughout the land, or at least heard by those of us in earshot. It was Sir Mix-A-Lot holding his back, we made sure he wasn’t dying because we are full of mercy and once it was determined that he was alive and well-ish, we finished the round and no need to use the handy dandy cell phone we carried for such emergencies.
Next up calf raises 10 regular, 10 toes pointed in, 10 pointed out, repeato and then we had to get back for Mary (Ab-work)
Let’s mosey! #Hairband5k back to the place with some karaoke left and right along the way and one stop to keep the PAX together.
Once back in the driveway…
Mary
10 Pretzel Crunch (left and right) In cadence
20 Backscratchers
Done and recover!
Ye Olde Moleskin (this captures some of the workout and trip in general)
The #Mumblechatter was at a high level before the trip as the men were trying to figure out if this workout thing was real and how early in the morning it would be happening. Friendly little reminders in the group text about bringing workout clothes, sneakers (this isn’t tennis) were repeated to make sure they realized this was as real as the mystery pains that show up for no reason when getting out of bed if you are over 30. Don’t worry Juan Valdez your day will come, 20’s don’t last forever. #Hate
The night we got to the place we were like middle schoolers full of adrenaline so what do we do at about 10pm? Go to the grocery store for snacks of course!
YHC offered to make everyone breakfast after the beatdown the next morning to soften the pain and we also needed ingredients to make that happen. While at the store, Bojangles hard sweet tea filled the conversation as Tesla tried to win major prizes from The Claw. Still not tired after roaming the hallowed halls of the IGA food and beach product extravaganza we decided to do what anyone would, introduce our Kenyan friend (Sir Mix-A-Lot) to some 80’s American cinematography goodness… Princess Bride!
We stayed up too late and got up too early but everyone HC‘ed (Hard Committed) and was ready to go by 0700. There were some rumblings of “I was told you never ran?!” when I said we were going to travel to a parking lot that was out of site from our location and while mostly true, and most who know me would agree with that statement, we needed to get to an AO with some room to move.
Overall a good time (In my opinion) was had by all. There was definitely some grumbling like “What about the germaphobes?!” when I called bear crawls, I yelled out that we will wash our hands when done. See, I’m not just your friendly neighborhood Q, I’m a problem solver and care for the welfare of the PAX.
Could I have told everyone to bring gloves? Absolutely, but considering we went to the beach and half the guys forgot a swimsuit, the chances of gloves finding their way into the travel bags was about as likely as Matt Rhule getting another NFL coaching gig.
Good job to all out there, Juan Valdez was killing in in his 20-something body yet somehow already complaining about the lunges before the workout was done, Sir Mix-A-Lot overcame his fear of dirty roads knowing he could wash his hands when done and thankfully the back issue was short lived… Or fake and a distraction technique used to take a break? Hmmm, the world may never know. Macushla who was the only #Respect (50 or older) pushed through but realized his marathon training has no benefits for Merkins and other upper body work, Tesla and Jabberwocky got sweaty and helped the FNGs modify where needed and not a man was lost that day.
After the beatdown, YHC started cooking a protein filled breakfast as promised as the guys started to hit the showers which turned out to be like standing in a swamp while its raining but with soap. #HadToBeThere Jabberwocky led us in a solid devotion time based on Rick Astley, it was more biblical than it sounds and then some beach time!
Next up a good Mexican lunch with Hamilton, not the play, the mumbling guy with John Lennon glasses. Once done we were off to play 9 holes at a 3 par golf course. I have never played and it showed, others may have never played either but they all seemed to do much better than YHC who looked more like I was attacking the poor defenseless ball at the tee. #FormMatters
Later on it was to Dockside Seafood where we all ordered water to drink but the waitress strong armed us into trying the sweet tea with her lawyer level power of persuasion. After the Bojangles Hard Sweet Tea conversation the night before we caved and got what was probably an award winning, voted “Best of the Grandstrand” glass of sweet tea. (not the hard kind) After the good meal we bid farewell to Juan Valdez as he needed to leave the men that acted like middle schoolers to lead the actual middle schoolers the next morning at Fivestones and for us it was back to the house for 80’s movie night part 2, Red Dawn (WOLVERINES!) followed by the end of Duke/Notredame game.
Sunday morning it was clean up time and watch church online before heading out to our last vacation meal, breakfast at Dino’s which hit the spot before the drive home. The drive included an eclectic playlist which covered everything from Pink Floyd to They Might Be Giants and by the end had us revisiting the late 90’s New Life 91.9 radio playlist and I still have Crucified With Christ stuck in my head.
As far as nicknames, when John hurt his back the #Mumblechatter somehow moved to Baby got back, therefore, Sir Mix-A-Lot
Johnny is a coffee connoisseur, hence Juan Valdez from the old coffee commercials
When we got to Chris I must have blacked out because I can’t remember how we started talking about boxers and Million Dollar Baby also known as Macushla.
Solid workout by all, great time away with some great guys that I am very thankful for (although we definitely missed a couple that unfortunately had to bail)
AYE!
Hair Band