Old School

What the BUCK(et) is this workout?

Summary:

17 men faced the wrath of J.R.R. Tolkien this morning at the heralded SOB high-intensity workout known as ‘The Brave’, completing just under 4 miles of incline heavy bucket carries (85lbs), incline overhead log carries (60-70 lbs), hair burners from Hell (35lb plate), and incline backwards runs for the better part of an hour.  Justice was duly served to each and every one of the PAX as penance for the sins of a few PAX constant ribbing of YHC (Twitter, Slack, to my face!), but in the end the PAX were battered but not broken, and better from the misery. #dontFwiththeQnexttime

The Thang:
 
– 5:15am sharp, and it’s go time! Mosey to empty surface lot North of Brixham and circle up
– YHC gives the personal liability disclaimer, particularly important given the planned workout
o   10 SSH in cadence
o   26 in-cadence merkins
– Run to the seating walls in front of Lochness Lake
o   31 hip slappers in-cadence on wall
– Run up Ballantyne Corporate Pl, doing some dynamic warmup (high knees, butt kicks, alternating side shuffle)
– Stop at the surface lot in from of the Snyder’s-Lance Building and hold plank during instruction
1) While in plank, PAX count off in groups of 4 PAX, making 4 teams (one team with 5 PAX)
2) While in plank, YHC gives brief Greek Mythology lesson of Sisyphus, founder and King of Corinth who royally pissed off Hades, Lord of the Underworld, and ended up being punished in the underworld, by being forced to push a heavy boulder up a hill only let it roll back down the hill and repeat the sequence, for eternity. This is the lesson on ‘futility’ which inspired YHC when creating the workout.
3) Timed sprint up the ‘Bagpipe Hill’ segment in an attempt to take down Frasier’s 0:36 second record #FAIL. Winner’s team gets to push 25lb plate for hairburner, not 35lb plate.

Begin Exercise Sequence, as each member of a team starts at one of four exercise stations and repeat exercise at the station, until they are relieved by their teammate:

– Exercise #1: Backwards run up Bagpipe Hill (0.17miles), forwards run over the bridge to cones YHC placed on the side of the road, and back (.4 miles), then relieve teammate performing exercise #2
– Exercise #2: Bucket Carry up Bagpipe Hill (0.17 miles) to the start of the bridge and back down (any resting done in plank position), repeat until relieved by runner doing exercise #1, then relieve teammate doing exercise #3
– Exercise #3: Overhead log carry up Bagpipe Hill (.17 miles) and back down (any resting done in plank position), repeat until relieved by bucket carry person doing exercise #2, then relieve teammate doing exercise #4
– Exercise #4: Hairburner in parking lot roughly 50 yards out & 50 yards back (35lb plate), repeat until relieved by log carry person doing exercise #3, then go back to doing exercise #1
– Repeat Sequence until time was called at 6:10am and run back to The Vine starting point just in the nick of time for COT.

Moleskin… will YHC ever run out of trolling material? Not anytime soon…. read on:
 
Fletch named it best, the ‘Murderer’s Row’ of obstacles (bucket carries, log carries, hairburners) back-to-back-to-back after taking part in YHC’s Spartan Race held @ Day Zero a week ago. YHC was determined to pick only exercises/obstacles that no PAX would be able to dog in a workout (i.e. running, squats, etc) and these three fit the bill. Just ask Haggis who would normally go easy on a Friday, per his new exercise schedule, but found no way to go easy on this day.
 
As mentioned in the summary, YHC was determined to deliver a thorough beating to the PAX, after being poked on Slack for the better part of, well since YHC has been on Slack! So the pace out of the Vine parking lot was fast and furious. Voodoo was the only one calling out cadence with YHC during the hip slappers, which resulted in YHC getting irritated and yelling why the F no one else was counting!

Since YHC has been accused of ‘segment hunting’ (which YHC pleads the 5th on), the plan to sprint up Bagpipe Hill early in the workout, was meant to be Fast, Furious, and Fixated on taking down Frasier’s record (36 seconds) Fresh! However, the only F word (no not that one) that can be used to describe the outcome was FAIL, as Frasier’s record still stands! On this day, Mario took gold in the race with a time probably in the low 40 seconds, with the silver medal going to his Grandaddy Haggis, and the bronze to his Daddy JRR Tolkien. What it must feel like to be an young boy, beating old men up a hill #getagirlfriendalreadydude
 
Notable Performances… Well, they were all ‘notable’:

– Mario filled up his F3 trophy case this week: #VT for Bagpipe Hill Sprint, #VT for Hairburners, T-Claps for Muthaship post earlier this week, #VT for North Face run @ Black Diamond. Congrats dude… you smashed a bunch of guys that are old enough to be your father. #noseriouslygetagirlfriendalreadydude
– Beaker pulled up in Stone Mountain Grill lot just as the PAX were taking off to start the workout. Although from the look on his face going up and down Bagpipe Hill, he was wishing he came two minutes later (that’s what she said!)
– Ickey Shuffle, fresh off crushing his Spartan Race with a skinless finger and running a cool 4 miles in sweltering pollen last night with YHC at Ghost Runner, nearly spilled merlot in the bucket… which would have been ok, since puke turns into sand right?
– Haggis was none too pleased with YHC for the heavy bucket carry, and mentioned once or twice that he was going to seek revenge on YHC. Just make sure you do it at a F3 workout and not on my outdoor patio Stone Man!!!
– At 52, Freely once again proved he is a badass…. i mean how can one constantly be farting throughout the workout unless they have a bad-ass? #gastrointestinalproblems #getyourcoloncleansedafter50
– Madame Toussads mentioned after COT he wished he had taped his biceps with duct tape for the bucket carry. The real problem is his biceps are so large and his arms so short, that his meaty limbs and 10k merkin chest have no chance of connecting around the bucket! #meatheadproblems
– Cheddar looked a little lost today, being the 5th member of a team, and offering to help everyone with their bucket and log. Rule #1: Don’t EVER touch another man’s log dude! Especially when they are handling it.
– Fire Hazard is recovering nicely from his Achilles / calf injury and put in a solid effort today. FH broke the SOB golden rule of ‘don’t defend Tolkien’ and therefore will not be trolled in THIS particular backblast.
– If YHC saw correctly Market Timer and Heartbreaker both nearly had heart attacks on the bucket carry, and transitioned to hairburners before being relieved. Market Timer mentioned on Slack that he actually welcomed the hairburner rather than the bucket carry it was so difficult. YHC thought a hairburner actually would have been more difficult since MT has no hair to burn!
–  YHC told Goonie about seeking revenge on the PAX going up the hill, to which Goonie wanted to be clear that he was not part of the ribbing and didn’t deserve the punishment. Sorry man… great effort today. #collateraldamage
– One little, two little, three little Indian-landers… Nope, only two in Pebbles and Ringer, with no Copay and One Niner #tribalfighting. Ringer is the model of consistency, and shows up to post with his game face on. Pebbles was super excited for the workout, and was gripping his wood high in proper form the entire time (um, that sounded weird…) . Dude is a flat out BEAST!!! Must be from the 1.2 lbs that he promised to lose in the 10lb weight-loss challenge.
– Argonaut and Voodoo both must have thought the buckets and logs were kettle bells, and it was Monday at Foxhole, since both of those tho animals powered through the bucket carry and log carry using proper form. Argonaut seemed to get stuck with the log carry for the better part of 40 minutes.
– Outback was already sweating in the parking lot before the workout, either from doing 3 workouts right before, or wearing too much clothes (just a t-shirt despite the high-30 degree weather).

YHC with the amazing takeout thanking God for the raw materials of this Earth including wood, rocks, and plastic?

Site Q’s, MT and Mario, it was a pleasure to lead the PAX for this workout so thanks for giving me the keys to The Brave this week, and YHC appreciates the PAX support for attending the workouts. Looking forward to sharpening more iron with you fellas soon.

Announcements:

– Lots of races and CSAUPs coming up… sign up for one of them so you can get a medal, medals are nice.
– Battlefrog in Concord, NC this upcoming weekend. YHC is going to attempt the Xtreme 40k, and it’s not too late to sign up for that or the 8k… your choice. See you out there.
– Ragnar Relay October 7-8 2016, 8 trailrunners per team @ Anne Springs Greenway, SC. Let me know if interested as YHC forming a team, possibly two. The Fort is also creating a team.