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I’m Only Writing This So I Don’t Get Fined

Just like Marshawn Lynch, we all have to do things ‘just because’.  My burden happens to be the Chiseled back blast.  Imagine how insane it is to ask someone who has been absent forever (injury, laziness, cold, <insert other excuse here>) to Q, and then insist on a back blast to boot?  Well, that’s exactly what @Exlax decided would be prudent to do.  So, in order to not get fined, here it goes.


Before the fun, welcome to our FNG Khaki (State Farm Agent).

After hearing that @Rudy made himself puke with some tire carries, I knew that was going to be the central piece of this morning.  Other than that, what seemed like an organized wenkie turned out to be not so much.  The goal was simple – partner up and carry one of the large tires around Mt Chiseled.  Everyone else would alternate exercises with a coupon

  • Squats
  • Clean & Press
  • Rows
  • Curls
  • Tri Extensions
  • Overhead Press


My 1st error was thinking 2 people could carry the tires

  • audible #1 – make it teams of 4.

My  2nd was that we could get around Mt. Chiseled quickly

  • audible #2 – send 2 spaced out teams around Mt Chiseled and alternate each time a team returns


After listening to non-stop complaining about the above plan, we called an end to that and took a mosey to the 5 Stones entrance for some Mary.  From there, it was a jail break back to the coupons where we did a round robin of the above exercises.  Time was almost up, so it was a rifle carry of the coupons back to their resting spot, where everyone thought the fun had ended.  However, I was not about to bring the tires back alone, and with 4 minutes left, decided it was best to have teams carry them back, relieving one another after a short suicide to the gravel and back until the tires were safely stowed.


That’s about it.  Not sure how it was perceived by others, but for someone who has been in and out lately, it was enough…

Just Loaf’n

DICCS – Always have to give the DICCS (Disclaimer, CPR Check, Cell Phone Check and Safety Reminder)  Done.
Warm Up-
Run – around the parking lot to Novant Health – High Knee – karaoke – backwards
30 x SSH
10 Merkins
20 x Mountain Climbers
Stretch the Legs
Stretch left and night middle
Wind mill
Arm rolls
Plank – stretch your back crosses
The Thang
100s – share 100 reps with partner lifting rocks lifts – partner Runs
Bench Press
Overhead press
Run to pets mart straight away
Race 50 yard dash 4x
Front wards – then backwards run back to start plank up count to 10 – Run sprints
4 Corners Round 2x
10 Carolina Dry docks
10 squats
5 Merkins Hand release
5 Burpees Hand Release
Mosey to Brooklyn Pizza –
Share 100 reps with partner
100 Dips
100 Step ups
100 incline merkins
Met up with Turnbuckle for 25 squats
Brooklyn Parking Lot –
Lunges back to start
Nice work to all men!!
No Bible study tonight . We will resume next Monday .
Please say a prayer for the Professor as he lost his mother yesterday . Please say a prayer for Loafers dad who is recovering from CV – 19 .
Encouraging Word –
“Be on guard; stand firm in your faith [in God, respecting His precepts and keeping your doctrine sound]. Act like [mature] men and be courageous; be strong. Let everything you do be done in love [motivated and inspired by God’s love for us].”
‭‭1 CORINTHIANS‬ ‭16:13-14‬ ‭AMP‬‬

Modified Murph

Memorial Day is always special.  It’s humbling to pay homage to those that have died defending the freedoms we enjoy in the amazing country of ours.  On the F3 front, Popeye runs one of the best Qs of the year, there is beer and BBQ, family time, and pools officially open.  Last year, someone got the crazy idea to introduce the Murph to F3 Waxhaw.  It was brutal, but memorable.  With all the craziness this year around ‘shutting down’ (even though we never really did), social distancing, and limited group sizes, it looked like the Murph as 1 and done.  However, it was revived in the last minute with some slight modifications to address the current concerns.


For those not familiar, the Murph is a Crossfit workout that includes – a 1 mile opening run, followed by 100 pullups, 200 merkins, 300 squats, just to conclude with another 1 mile run.  All of this is supposed to be done as fast as possible, wearing a weighted vest!


This year, pullups were out of the question due to concerns around sharing gear, so YHC and Brutus teamed up to come up with a way to keep the level of effort required high, while respecting the new rules.  Hence, the Modified Murph was born, consisting of:

  • 1.5 mile opening run
  • 200 merkins
  • 300 squats
  • 400 bent over rows with a cinder block coupon
  • 1.5 mile closing run


All the participating PAX did an amazing job.  One freak (Zin) actually accomplished the full event wearing his weight vest.  I’m not sure if anyone actually verified it contained weights, but it looked impressive.  Well done sir!


Congrats to all who completed the journey.  And thank you most of all to the families of our fallen Vets!


The Grass Is Calling

How could YHC pass up an opportunity to Q Homecoming and return to the scene of the crime.  Posse gave a pre-post disclaimer that this may be your last opportunity to post at Homecoming with the track just calling my name.  Add to that the fact that the gates were unlocked and open, and it seemed like the planets were certainly for what could be our last Homecoming dance…


DiCCS provided



  • Mosey to basketball court
  • SSH IC
  • Downward Dog
  • Calf Stretch (just for my own enjoyment)
  • Merkins


The Thang

  • Round 1
    • Mosey to bus line
    • Suicides w/ 8 buses – 5 merkins at each bus
    • Circle for 6
  • Round 2
    • Mosey to playground and Partner Up
    • P 1 = 10 pullups
    • P2 = AMRAP dips
    • 3 rounds
  • Round 3
    • Mosey to track!!!
    • OK, just pass the track and shed a little tear
    • Mosey to the bottom of the yet to be named horrible hill (aka the Middle School entrance) and Partner up w/ someone of the opposite speed
    • P1 = Run a full lap
    • P2 = AMRAP Exercise
      • Lap 1 = Squats
      • Lap 2 = Speed Skaters
      • Lap 3 = Reverse Lunges
      • Lap 4 = 1 legged Roman deadlifts
  • Round 4
    • Mosey to the grassy knoll for some 7s
    • Bottom = Jump Squats
    • Top = Burpees
  • Round 5
    • Mosey further down the hill to the trees (4 of them) for a Doc McStuffins tribute
    • Backwards run up the hill / around the tree
    • Forward run down the hill
    • Circle all 4 trees w/ an extra backward run to the top
  • Round 6
    • Mosey to the front of the MS
    • Sprints around 1/2 the circle x 6
  • Round 7
    • Mosey to start for some Abs
    • Captain Thurkin (up to 5)
      • 1 Big Boi Sit Up x 4 American Hammers x 2 Merkins
    • Finish with 20+5 Super Mans



  • Thank you to Posse for the invite to Q an awesome site
  • I can honestly say everyone pushed hard today, but I need to call out 2 PAX specifically – Southern Tip was so fast in Round 5, I accused him of cheating…  Fuse showed that he has wheels when he needs them, leading the sprints.



  • Father / Daughter Dance (

Paxhaw Ridge

9 Pax decided to brave the elements on a warm but wet morning to run suicides up and down Paxhaw ridge.  Given the Q was not announced and the forecast called for thunderstorms all morning, I was shocked to pull up at 5:13:30 to 8 PAX anxiously waiting for someone to claim the Q spot. This left 90 seconds for DiCCS, which was given and we were off:

Warm Up
– Quick lap around Hickory Tavern to circle up in the Target parking lot
– 25 SSH IC
– 10 Merkins IC
– Calf stretches (100% mandatory at all AOs – at least they should be)
– Quad stretch
– Mosey to the top of Paxhaw ridge (Blackwood & Springwood Dr in the Wesley Oaks neighborhood)

The Thang
– Run down Paxhaw Ridge to stop sign – 5 burpees at each intersection (20 total)
– Suicides back up Paxhaw Ridge
* 10 speed skaters (each leg) at each light
* Return to start / 10 jump squats
* Repeat = total of 10 lights
– Quick mosey back to start to end at exactly 45 min

– I’m always amazed at how long it takes to run up/down this hill, which is sneaky hard. I actually had another full segment of exercises to call, but the suicides took the full time – not due to lack of effort from the PAX (which was great this morning), but just the shear suckery of this hill…
– Great job by all, but especially Transporter, who despite a knee injury, lead the way the whole time and was the only 1 to get the full 10 lights in…
– It was great to see some new faces (Blades of Glory, Nails) as well as Asylum regulars (Shop Dawg, Posse, Transporter, Chastain, and Dana)
– Bottle Cap would be proud that there was no form policing this morning – just a lot of encouragement

– Document your goals on Posse’s spreadsheet to be held accountable – this is the year you could actually keep them and accomplish what you’re after!
– Gremlin coming up this Saturday (Zinfandel shared the link) – Let’s get a big Waxhaw showing
– Thank you to all who joined Saturday’s folding party – 250 (did not #fuse that number) bins were filled. Amazing turnout and accomplishment by all who participated!

Let’s Plank

Sitting around the house one night, a horrible thought occurred to me – how horrible would it be to do a workout almost solely in the plank position.  Not having the capacity to simply discard such an evil thought, I made the mistake of reaching out to Chastain, letting him know I had a horrible idea for a 0.0 workout.  Obviously lacking common sense as well, he immediately added me to today’s Q rotation at Diesel and today’s beatdown was born.  In order to make this truly disgusting, I asked my 15 year old daughter to build a playlist to coincide with this terrible idea.  She did not disappoint; creating a Spotify playlist consisting of amazing artists such as One Direction, Harry Styles, Melanie Martinez, and Billie Eilish.  Pain for both the body and soul….

DiCCS provided, even though we were not leaving our starting 2 foot circle.
No warmup – let’s jump straight into this bad idea.
The Thang
  • 5 rounds of 10 reps of each exercise, performed from the plank position performed as a group
    • Mike Tysons
    • Carolina Dry Docks
    • Mountain Climbers
    • Peter Parkers
    • Shoulder Taps
  • After round 2 – 100 squats in cadence
  • After round 4 – 50 Roman Deadlifts (each leg)
  • After round 5 – 50 Roman Deadlifts (each leg)
  • 5 rounds of 10 reps of each exercise, performed from the plank position performed as a group
    • Mike Tysons
    • Peter Parkers
    • In/Outs
    • Merkins
    • Mac Tar Jais
  • After round 1 – 50 jump squats
  • After round 2 – 50 reverse lunges (each leg)
  • After round 3 – 50 jump squats
  •  After round 4 – 50 reverse lunges (each leg)
  • 3 min left
    • Superman x 25
    • American Hammers x 25
  • I was not sure how today would play out, and began getting nervous that it would disappoint after nearly all PAX complained that there was no gear at a gear workout.  However, we hopefully learned that body weight exercises, even with 0.0 miles, can be enough.
  • I tried to call and audible and replace Mac Tar Jais with Shoulder Taps, but Chastain was having none of it.  In a crowd pleasing moment, he shamed YHC into sticking to the original plan.  I’m still angry…
  • Welcome to FNG O-69 (Bob Perkins) who joined us after some EH’ing by Chicken Little.  Named for being a Bingo caller during his slow period at work.  It was a close call between that and Big Papi (he’s a Yankee Fan), but with Bingo being so unique that name won out by a narrow margin.
  • Thank you as always for following my futile attempts to lead such an amazing group of men.  F3 is an amazing group and even though I love to bust chops, I don’t take it lightly.
  • Last day for this round of donations for Ray of Hope – Bring toothbrushes, toothpaste, soap, shampoo ,etc to Bottlecap, Shop Dawg, or Dancing Bear.  Something we learned today is that while EBT can buy soda, chips, and other items to keep people unhealthy, it cannot be used for toiletries, making these items extremely important for donations. – Thank you Posse for that education.
  • Christ’s Closet folding party tomorrow morning immediately following coffeteria.
  • Uncle Si asked for PB&J donations for Food for Families, which is an organization that provides food to hungry kids.  They started with 13 kids and now server over 850, and are still not in all Union County schools!  The need is real and could be another 3rd F opportunity for F3Waxhaw.

Those Who Can’t

Being a site Q for Asylum means that my Monday options are typically limited to Asylum or Asylum.  However, with Banjo set on Q and co-site Q Swimmers an HC for posting, I accepted Gerber’s invite to Q Ignition on this extremely warm December morning.

I’m guessing Gerber wanted an easy way to start the week by asking a fat, non-runner who has had very limited posts in the past 2 months to Q a running AO.  Add to that the fact that my only other Ignition Q was met with mixed reviews (7 miles, but very few exercises…), and our new local crazy guy who apparently loves his sleep, and you had the makings of a potential disaster.  Even so, I decided to accept Gerber’s challenge and lead this awesome AO.

DiCCS provided


  • Mosey around Middle School, back to the parking lot to circle up
  • 20 Merkins (civilian count)
  • Calf stretches
  • Cherry pickers
  • Quad stretching

The Thang

  • Mosey to Lawson entrance
  • On Lightwood – 10 Speed Skaters (2 for 1) at each driveway on the left (approximately 14 of them)
  • Mosey to Bennington Dr
  • Triple Nickel on cul-de-sac
    • Mike Tysons
    • Reverse Lunges (2 for 1)
  • Mosey to new club house w/ 10 jump squats at every intersection
  • Mosey back to Lawson entrance – Gazelles circle back for 6 at the top and end of Five Forks
  • Cobbler-led mosey back to start


  • Thank you for leading us on the homeward mosey Cobbler
  • Great work by everyone – I got 4.86mi as a Clydesdale / Gazelles got over 5
  • Thank you Gerber for the invite
  • We almost had an FNG (Prime) – He and Shake and Bake joined us for the warmup, then mysteriously disappeared during our mosey to Lawson – Thankfully, they showed up at Flash
  • LORD I need the weight loss challenge!!!!

If You Cant Join Them

Doughboy must be given props for the most creative way to get someone to cotters – ask the to Q last minute because the scheduled Q is down with the flu… I have been absent from F3 lately due to a myriad of reasons / excuses and I have felt it – both physically and mentally. I miss the 05:30 banter, stupid jokes, awkward FOMO pics, and the men that make all of the above possible. So, when Doughboy asked me to substi-Q, I had to say yes to ensure I couldn’t fartsack another morning. Thank you DB!


  • DiCCS given
  • FNG identified and greeted (many already new him from Briarcrest)
  • Rain warning issued


  • Mosey around parking lot
  • 20 SSH IC
  • 10 merkins IC
  • calf stretching
  • 20 low slow squats IC

The Thang

  • Station 1 – 4 Corners x 5 rounds
    • C1 = 10 merkins
    • C2 = 10 squats
    • C3 = 10 Carolina Dry Docks
    • C4 = 10 lunges (1 for 1)
  • Station 2 – Lunge walks
    • Mosey to the front of the school
    • Lunge walk to 1st light
    • Jog to 2nd light
    • Repeat Lunge / jog alternating lights to the end
  • Station 3 – Partner work
    • P1 = Hot lap around buses
    • P2 = Team totals for the following
      • 100 step ups
      • 200 derkins
      • 300 dips
  • Mosey back to front of school – 2 burpees at every light (5 lights)


  • Pray for the wives of High Hat and Zinfandel – both having surgery today
  • Toy give-away was a huge success – More opportunities via Ray of Hope coming soon, including accepting donations of whole meals (non-perishable due to incapacitated refrigerators)
  • Welcome to our new FNG Bounce

Fellowship of the Hills

To celebrate my 99th Q (not a real number, but stating the number of times you Q seems to be the thing these days), I wanted to accomplish what I THINK was a Floater 1st and hit all 3 of our nastiest hills – Bad Idea, Bad Idea 2 (aka FU Hill), and the infamous original Keith Jong Hill. This was going to be a monumental task given the distance that needed to be covered while still allowing time for pain stations. However, after being challenged to have both mileage and hills, I finalized my weinke, assuming I would have to audible along the way.

DiCCS given, along with a warning that we were covering some miles and would need to work at a quick pace today.


  • Mosey across Main St. to the skate park parking lot
  • 10 SSH IC
  • 10 Merkins IC
  • Calf Stretching
  • 10 Low Slow Squats IC

The Thang

  • Mosey to Hill 1 – Bad Idea 2 (FU Hill) for a modified triple nickel
    • 10 squats at each end + 5 merkins at the 1/2 way point each direction
    • 5 rounds
    • Audible # 1 – Called recovery after the 1st batch of Gazelles completed 5 rounds. Not too sure calling this short upset too many guys
  • Mosey to Hill 2 – Bad Idea for another modified triple nickel
    • 10 jump squats at the top + 10 Romanian deadlifts (5 each leg) at the bottom + 5 Mike Tysons in the middle
    • 5 rounds – This immediately got the chatter flowing with complaints about time
    • Audible # 2 – Changed to 1.5 rounds – I immediately knew we did not have time for all 5 rounds, but I secretly wanted to hear the complaining and throw a mental jab to an already tired PAX
  • Mosey to Hill 3 – Keith Jong Hill for some quick suicides. This one seemed to confuse and concern the PAX – “Wait, we’re doing another hill?” – Answer = Heck Yes!!!
    • Start at the bottom of the hill / Sprint to the stop sign / Run Back to the Start / Sprint to the top (Laundry Mat)
    • Audible #3 – I originally called out for burpees at the bottom and merkins at the stop sign and top, but time was just not on our side – Why can’t Floater be an hour????
  • Jail break to Start for all 3 hills, just shy of 3.5 miles (my watch had 3.47), in exactly 45 min!


  • A few observations:
  • Brutus was flying today, leading the pack most of the way
  • Deflated, knee braces and all, was in the font all day as well
  • Carb Load continues to impress, passing me on the 1st hill which earned him some words of ‘encouragement and support’ from me…
  • Twinkle Toes was another flyer today. He’s pretty quiet, so you need to watch for him out there
  • Several others were not in the front, but were definitely giving it all they had – kudos to you (search your feelings and you’ll know who you are)


  • Diesel official kick off tomorrow – 0.0 miles
  • Let’s all take an example from Botham Jean’s brother who forgave and hugged former Dallas police officer Amber Guyger, who had been convicted of murder in Jean’s death. An amazing example we can all learn from ( ) – Thanks for sharing this Zin!
  • Good luck to everyone participating in various races this weekend. Make Waxhaw proud men!

Ab Work and Sex Robots

14 men braved the gloom this morning for a few laughs as we killed our abs and non-pushing muscles (aka backs and biceps). This was admittedly, not a typical Q for me as there were 0 burpees, 0 touching, and ended up being sub 2 miles. I hope it still translated into a hard workout, but that will be determined as everyone tries to get out of bed tomorrow morning.

The Warmup

  • DiCCS completed (with some reminders from Dancing Bear)
  • Quick lap around the parking lot using right turns – This threw the PAX for a loop right out of the gate, starting the mumblechatter around why people automatically turn left. The consensus seemed to be it’s Nascar’s fault…
  • Circle up for:
    • 20 SSH IC
    • Downward Dog
    • Calf Stretching
    • Arm Circles (20 forward / 5 reverse)

The Thing

  • Mosey to front of school for a little light pole suicides
    • Up 1 – 10 LBCs
    • Back to start – 10 Romanian Deadlifts (total)
    • Up 2 – 10 LBCs
    • Back to start – 10 Romanian Deadlifts (total)
    • Up 3 – 10 LBCs
    • Back to start – 10 Romanian Deadlifts (total)
    • Plank for 6
  • Mosey to bus parking lot
    • Ab Web – 1 Big Boi Sit Up / 4 Heels to Heaven (up to 10/40)
  • Mosey to playground & partner up w/ coupons
    • P1 = Pullups (AMRAP)
    • P2 = Run to lightpole / 10 rows w/ coupoun
    • 4 total rounds
    • Plank for 6
  • Mosey to Coupons for more partner work
    • P1 = Curls with coupon (AMRAP)
    • P2 = Run to school and back
    • 5 total rounds
    • Plank for 6
  • Quick 20 Supermans IC
  • Mosey with coupons to front of school for some American Hammers (20 IC)
  • Time!


  • The Ab Web was a crowd favorite for sure. TONS of mublechatter and jokes here, including comments about sex robots, dropping logs, and 24 being a great year. The Web was tough enough, but trying to do it while laughing was a new twist. Thanks for keeping it light guys!
  • This definitely was not my most difficult Q, but the goal was to do something different, with no pushing exercises as these muscles get worked in huge disproportion to our pulling muscles.
  • Great job by everyone today. Everyone pushed hard and I hope got both a good sweat and a better laugh out of this morning.

Prayer Requests / Announcements:

  • Catfish’s family friend who lost their 20 year old daughter to a tragic horse fall
  • General prayer for those struggling with cancer, including my father-in-law who got the word that his pancreatic cancer has spread
  • Susan G Komen Race for the Cure – October 5th (sign up under Heather’s Heroes (Ice 9 and Transport’s wives) or Speed for Need)
  • Thanks Mad Dog for taking us out.