January 2017 – F3 South Charlotte

Preblast: F3 Dads Ballantyne – Trinket Treasure Event 2/4

It may be the dead of winter with soccer and cub scouts in full swing, but we won’t let that stop us from planning an outdoor F3 Dads event anyway. It will be partly cloudy in the 40’s on Saturday morning right? That should be ok even for the 2.0’s.

Here are the key details:
When: Saturday February 4 at 9:00 am
Where: The Field of Bulls, 13950 Ballantyne Corporate Pl, Charlotte, NC
What: 10 challenges led by dads, tickets given for challenge completion, trinket store to redeem tickets
Schedule: 9:00 – 9:15 setup, 9:15 – 10:15 challenges, 10:15 – 10:30 redeem tickets for trinkets

Prior to the event, each dad will need to go to the dollar store and purchase 20 – 30 cheap toys by spending no more than $10 total (think the cheap section of Chuck-E-Cheese). Suggestions are stickers, rubber finger puppets, bouncy balls, etc. No candy! Bring them on Saturday.

Each dad should also come prepared to lead the kids in a pain station and/or challenge. Unless we have tons of kids, we will go around as a group to each dad’s station. We will have 60 minutes to workout so we should limit each station to 5 minutes and have 10 stations which will allow for time to transition. After successful completion of the challenge, tickets will be awarded to the kids (one ticket per challenge per kid).

After all the challenges are complete, each kid should have at least 10 tickets to then use to purchase the trinkets the dads bring. We will set up a store in the back of one of our trucks for the kids to browse and buy.

That’s the plan. Will it be chaos? Probably. But we will have fun and that’s what it’s about.

See #f3dads channel on SOB Slack or email jlevins9@hotmail.com if you have questions.

Donut Run

Run 6 miles. Eat a donut. Or donuts if you’re Semi Gloss.

Meet at Dunkin Donuts at the corner of Rea and Colony.

Here’s the route: https://www.strava.com/routes/7470827

Launch times and paces:
510: 930-9:45 pace
515: 815-8:30 pace
520: 730-7:45 pace
530: 645-7:00 pace

SYITG

Last rites – Bulls on Parade

Cold morning. Several cars in the lot upon arrival, so what would have been a great joke wasn’t going to happen. YHC intentionally didn’t pre-blast the planned workout because it’s generally pretty awful. Anyway, a group of 8 heard the plan and took off into the Gloom:

Thang

Partner up and run the HT Mile.

Run past the school to the fire hydrant. Partner wheelbarrow the length of the sidewalk to the bus lot.

Mosey to the back playground. 10 pull-ups, 20 merkins, 30 Russian Twists (each side)

Mosey to the bull ring (baby track). Burpee broad jump the turns and sprint the straightaways.

Lather, rinse, and repeat until 6:06 – then run the HT mile again.

Fin. COT.

Moleskine

I believe everyone got in at least two, and most got in three, complete laps of the circuit. Fewer exercise reps than normal, but the burpee broad jumps make up for it. YHC had 3.78 miles, so not a bad day.

Talkbox came up with this workout, probably 18 months ago back when we were still unofficial #WIBHD and had a little street cred. It was truly awful. I think it’s +/- 1/4 mile of cumulative burpee broad jumps. Anyway, he ran it that first time, and now, he’s missed the only two other times we did his workout. TWO – and we’ve run several of these at least 5+ times in only 18 months – which is at least partially a function of it being the only workout that has made me curse. Anyway, T-claps on coming up with what I considered the most awful of all the idiotic stuff we attempted, which I’ll note also included a workout that incorporated dizzy bat #beginningoftheend #jumpedtheshark #tooyoungtorememberthatHighTide.

Indulge this trip down memory lane searching for other options aka reading material (also leaving this to make searching for decent older workouts much quicker):

The Kirk several times
The Splinter – aka crapload of partner carry
The Double Shaft – aka Sir Lunge A lot
The Puddy – aka Happy High Fivers
My Buddy and Me
Cannon Call – aka Cannonball Run aka The Three Mile Murph aka Fresh Murph of Bel Aire
The Intimidator – set the comment record, including the underused “decided to go full retard, lion shirt?”
The Manmaker – the last Brushback sighting???
The Blue Falcon – look it up
Parking Lot Shuffle – Bushwood’s ill-fated attempt with 50 exercises
The Urologist – #itgotweird
The Smokey – possible SOFA WIB mileage record
That time Egypt called cadence
Modified Murphs

Sundancer messaged around 10:45 that he was “sick as a dog”. Relaying this started a discussion on colloquialisms providing legitimacy to excuses. Then, we all noted the missing tunes #bongos #batguanorap #SturgillSimpsonhasgrownonme.

Brushback – 1) is still alive, 2) was actually there, 3) tripped a girl walking her dog on the opening mile, and 4) never apologized for it. She went flat on her face / stomach. I almost got hit by a car looking back to make sure she was alright. And Yes, that all happened in the first 7ish minutes of the workout. Brushback was quick to note that he felt uncomfortable being judged, as he’s now accustomed to Planet Fitness’ “Judgment Free Zone”. Despite the cocoon, we’ve noted your absence and judged you in absentia. Surely it was Voodoo slowing you down, but maybe try the treadmill some days #lunkalarm #nailedthepullupsandwheelbarrow. Seriously, good to have you back out for the finale!

Swiper once again pulled me around, and topped it off with a humble brag, one up. YHC was still feeling the 8-mile run from Sunday, noting that as an excuse for being slow today, when he broke out the, “yeah, I know what you mean. I ran 12 with Fishwrap on Sunday at 7before7 and Caffeine” #ouch. The mind was willing today, but the body couldn’t keep up. It almost went off the rails when Swiper nearly popped his elbow out on the partner wheelbarrow, causing YHC to nearly careen into his grundle #itgotweird. Fortunately YHC was wearing pants, so there was no touching #nttawwt.

One Eye and Cold Cuts probably lead most of the workout. Just an impressive Furyk-esque consistency from those two. Appreciate both of you continuing to come out after all this time.

Gas-X with possibly the funniest (to me) line of the morning, when he said “it’s only my second time coming to this workout”. That’s two more than most, so thank you.

Hopefully for those that posted consistency, you got faster and stronger as a result. Hopefully there was some accountability – someone there to call you out and pick you up and drag you along when you weren’t at your best. And hopefully, despite the at times possibly brutal / probably funny commentary, there was an unspoken knowledge that the guys there had your back. That’s the part that was hardest to build, so the hope is that as this door closes, new ones open that are able to build upon that. And ultimately, hopefully, several of you were driven deeper in your faith from the time spent around each other.

With the Bataan Death March (great book on the subject) of SoFa WIB, it’s been hilarious (to me) that several people have already reached out to say that they’re waiting for the come back tour. YHC is still a believer in the workout format, but for likely a multitude of reasons, this workout never took off. So, YHC is stepping aside, and the door is wide open for someone else to pick up the torch and carry it in another direction.

It was truly an honor and a privilege to have had the opportunity to lead this site – to fail, several hundred times over, learn, and grow as a result. Thank you!

Kirk

Fast Twitch going old school.

Lucky number 13 PAX posted for an old school version of Fast Twitch. After the worst disclaimer that was ever given, we took a brisk mosey to Anvil for circuit work.

The thang-

Break off into groups of 3 and one group of 4.

Five stations consisting of-

Slosh pipes(5′, 8′ & 10′) filled half way with water. 10 curls, 10 over head press and carry while walking, jogging running or stumbling with the 10’er.
Run to hot box for 10 step ups each leg and 15 skull crushers.
Run to playground for 10 pull ups and 10 toes to bar.
Run to retaining wall at corner of parking lot and perform 15 dips and 15 derkins.
Run to and up North Face and perform 15 LBC’s at top.

Repeato 2x.

Moleskin-

YHC’s goal today was to go with a different Fast Twitch workout. I figure the hills at Rain Tree and Piper Glenn aren’t going anywhere and we all know that’s what we’ll be doing for the next six months for BRR prep. I was told this was an old school version of Fast Twitch. You mean like a You Can’t Touch This t-shirt, puma sweats and addidas on the feet or in Van Pelt’s day butterfly collar, bell bottoms and moccasins?(I’ll probably pay for that one) Anyways, it was different but we still covered the requisite FT mileage(5.7).
YHC heard rumblings of possibly violating Avil’s site visit days(I guess we’re only cleared for Wednesday and Saturday). Don’t worry, I cleared it with the NanTan. I blame him.

With the groups spread apart I did not hear any mumble chatter although it was strong in the beginning(Gummy, I’m looking at you). YHC’s group of Fault Line and Orange Whip was putting in hard work while discussing and possibly solving a great deal of the worlds problems. I trust the other groups were doing the same. Next time discussion topics will be handed out.

Site FNG Orange Whip looked like a Fast Twitch regular. He’s quick. Thanks for coming.

Not sure if Alf had GI issues leading up to the workout but once he saw the slosh pipes he bolted for the crapper in White Gate. I hear they have hand sanitizer and air freshener over there. High class.

Iron sides gave a new twist to the slosh pipe carry, Scottish Highland Games style. Throwing it for distance wasn’t in the plans but no worries, I have submitted my receipts to the F3 management for reimbursement.

YHC can honestly say this workout smoked me. When I give the wrong age at the end, that’s a good sign. 42 for the record not 41. Although I can pull off 41. Yes, icey hot is being applied today.

YHC with the take out. Thank you to the Fast Twitch site Q’s for the opportunity to lead.

Annoucements- Savage Run coming up, see Pop Tart for more details. Centurian is looking for volunteers to serve, see Margo for more details.

The One and Only Floorslapper

9 dedicated Pax set out perfectly on time and organized. On a crisp morning for a carefully planned beat down.

Warm up: jog to lower lot
20 SSH, merkins, imp walkers, Peter Parker, squats, Mtn Climbers

The nickel nickel
25 dips, 25 squats, jog, 20 step ups, 20 incline merkins
5 times

Plank

Jog to track

Ladder with Turkish get ups
Ladder w merkins
Ladder w burpes
Ladder w jump squats

After that warm up
The Thang:

Suicides 50%, 75%, 99% effort

The warm down:
Mary: dolly, flutter, Bicycle, American twist, little baby trumps

Finishing burpees

Meat and Taters

27 for a dusted off T-Nation 10,000 swing workout, 1 lap, and 5 x 5 doubles.

The thang:
Light warmup

10 two hand swings, 15, 25, and then 50 with 10 two hand press after each round

Repeat with goblet squats between each round of swings.

Repeat with one arm press 5 each side

Repeat with tricep extensions

Repeat with 10 merkins after each round.

Run 1 lap

3 minutes of Mary to rest the hands

Partner up like sized bell

Doubles:

5 x 5 cleans

5 x 5 military press

5 x 5 swings

5 x 5 suitcase lunges

Recover

Moleskine: I wanted to pull out a simple old workout that tests the grip strength and hits the total body. I also didn’t want to run. I think we did both. Plenty of mumblechatter at the beginning. It seemed to taper for those that were doing the workout. Thanks for following along and not abandoning for a jog. Baracus seemed a little like he would rather be doing something else but when I offered an olive branch to wrap up the swings at 400 he snapped the branch and threw it in the fire. #highT. He said we can’t having anyone freaking out out there, we’ve got to keep our composure, we’ve come too far! So we finished the 500 swings.
Thanks for allowing me to lead boys.

Mulan

A nice balmy morning at this AO was the perfect setting for this upper body beat down. 11 shivering Pax showed their dedication by coming out to test their mettle.

Warm Up:

Mosey for one lap around the parking lot then circle up.

SSH IC x 25

3 count merkins x 10

Windmill x 10

Thang: Man-makers were on the menu this morning. But because not everybody knows what a man-maker is, YHC felt it was neceassary to go step by step, one move at a time to make sure all the Pax had a thorough grasp of this complex move. For the benefit of the reader, allow me to explain. A man-maker consists of a merkin, renegade row, clean, squat, and overhead press in sequential order, usually with a dumbbell or two.

The instructional break down of this move was divided into 5 segments with 5 pull-ups and one lap around the lot in between segments.

50 merkins
40 merkins + 10 renegade rows each hand
30 merkins + 10 rows + 10 cleans each hand
20 merkins + 10 rows + 10 cleans + 10 goblet squats
10 merkins + 10 rows + 10 cleans + 10 goblet quats + 10 overhead press each hand

After it was evident that all Pax felt comfortable with the move, we completed only 10 man-makers then finished up with 5 pull-ups and a lap.

Mary included LBC’s, Freddy Mercury, Flutters, Box cutters, Reverse box cutters, Hanging knee raise, and Rosalita.

Moleskin:

Every once in a while you hear a Pax say he passed on a workout because it was his “strength day”. Clearly he has never been to Foxhole. The strength component of this gear workout kills me everytime. Today was no different.

YHC wanted to target Chest and Back today but not exclusively. A nice mix of shoulders, core, and some cardio work made for a well rounded routine.

The crowd consisted of many of the usuals. It was a nice treat to see Bratwurst roll in (albeit late). The warm up was short and sweet and ample preparation for what was coming. Even at sub-freezing temperatures, it didn’t take long for us to heat up.

YHC finished up the first round ahead of the other Pax and was disallusioned enough to think that I could maintain my pace. But as usual, the guys at Foxhole brought their A-game and smoked me by the end. Although, much to my bewilderment, I did see Brat bringing up the rear on a lap or two. I didn’t think he was ever at the back of a run. Maybe just did it to make me feel better.

We did, however, all stick together throughout the workout. The Pax who finished the run first went back for the 6 and the next segment didn’t begin until we were all there. That’s the way George W. Bush would have wanted it.

Transitioning into Mary was a nice relief, even with Kirby’s multi-lingual 10-count as a segway. I ran out of exercises with 30 seconds left so Voodoo stepped up and finished us off. Ended with a COT and welcomed feedback from the Pax, which was mostly good. I’ll have to bring this one back again someday.

Last Call

Get your head right. Tomorrow is it. That is all.

If you promise burpees, they will come

The temps were below freezing for my 2nd straight Q Outland, but that didn’t stop 11 regulars and 4 FNGs from conducting a mini-2nd F in the parking lot of Sun Valley Middle at 6:55 AM. Part of me was excited to see 4 shiny new faces and part of me was truly regretting that they were there. Two weeks ago, we launched an effort to Make Outland Great Again and I threw out a challenge to all PAX – 10 burpees for every FNG to post at Outland until the end of January. The PAX nailed me with 20 last week and 40 this week. What can I say, we’ll do whatever it takes to save one single #sadclown.

Introductions were made. Temperature was discussed. Disclaimer was given. And we were off….sort of. Since it was 25 degrees and muscles were tight, we started the workout with marching in place to get the blood moving. I think this made Hair Band uneasy because he immediately started complaining. (He’d live to regret it)

Once we got the heart rate and body temps up, we were mobile. Hairband mile to the bus lot and back to the main parking lot for COP

SSH X 20 IC
IW X 20 IC
Hillbilly X 20 IC
LSS X 20 IC
Merkins X 10 IC

5 Burpees OYO (because Double E & Bullwinkle were late)

The Thang

Line up on the curb facing the street. Toy Soldier walk across the parking lot to far curb. Bear crawl to center line between the parking spaces

Face the flag pole. Jump side to side across center line for 60 seconds.

Face the street. Jump back & forth across the center line for 60 more seconds.

Mosey to the strategically placed traffic cone at one end of 10 empty parking spaces. Line up and shuffle down the line to the end of the parking space. Shuffle to the left back to the beginning of the next parking space. Repeato until you’ve covered all 10 spaces (noted by a 2nd strategically placed traffic cone). Plank until the PAX completes the circuit.

Hair Band asked when the workout was going to start. I think he soon regretted “poking the bear”

Mosey to the bottom of the hill and line up facing the hill for 11’s

Up the hill. Jump squats at the top. Down the hill. 10 Merkins. Back up the hill for 2 jump squats. Back down the hill for 9 Merkins. You get the picture…

Mosey to cafeteria shelter & count off by 2’s

Round 1
#1’s = Merkins X 20 OYO
#2 = supine pull ups X 10 OYO
Flap jack

Run lap, up stairs & return for round 2. Repeat laps after each round

Round 2

#1 = Wide arm Merkin X 20 OYO
#2 = wide arm supine pull up X 10 OYO
Flap jack

Round 3

#1 = Derkins X 20 OYO
#2 = Supine chin up X 10 OYO
Flap jack

Round 4

#1 = Diamond Merkin X 20OYO
#2 = close grip supine pull up X 10 OYO
Flap jack

Mosey to main wall for People’s Chair with 50 Air Presses X 2

Mosey to curb.

Lunge walk half way across parking lot to center line of parking spaces.

Reverse lunge walk back to curb.

Mosey to grass & circle up for Plank wave

Start in high plank & follow the lead of the person to your right. High plank to 6 inches until entire circle is at 6 inches. Back to high plank, etc. Continue for 6 rounds

On your six for 6 Minutes of Mary

Flutter
LBC
Dolly
Rosalita
Freddie Mercury

Time!

Moleskin

The challenge was out there. 3 PAX brought 4 FNGs. Heck, Sling Blade was a FNG last week and brought a FNG this week. Doc McStuffins brought out two and YHC EH’d one. I guess the rest of the guys don’t have any friends. They have every Saturday to prove me wrong. We don’t do IOU’s at #F3Outland, so YHC used every break in the action to knock out burpees in sets of 10-15 until all 40 were complete. I’m sure watching YHC perform burpees in my tight pants was the highlight of everyone’s day, but just in case, I recorded a few others: Double E and Bullwinkle showed up as COP was nearly over. The PAX had every right to remind them that a 7AM workout doesn’t start at 7:10 because the entire unit had to pay 5 burpees for their tardiness. Hair Band got in a few pokes at the Bear, but I think the Bear had the last laugh during the 11’s. They were #brutal. The reverse lunge walk had Jabberwakke complaining about his lack of balance. He set himself up nicely for a #shamelessplug for #F3Gumby. FNG Playoffs claimed he hasn’t worked that hard since he was in the military and was going to cancel the Fern & be back next week. #thanksforyourservice He mentioned something about flashbacks when doing bear crawls. FNG’s Sea Sick & Cone Head looked strong throughout the workout and left a trail of laundry all around the parking lot. #overdressed FNG Manzel was already looking up weekday workouts before he left the parking lot. Keep an eye out for him at #Thrive.

The veterans worked hard and crushed the workout as usual. It’s an honor to be given the opportunity to lead.

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Thanks to Smokey for the strong take out.

Why Was Chedder Dressed as an Orange Traffic Cone?

12 convicts escaped The Big House on a ladder constructed of pain on a brisk Monday morning. Cheddar upped the ante by dressing as an orange traffic cone.

Thang

Circle up around flag poles in front of baseball fields for COP:

20 SSH IC
15 Windmills IC
20 IW IC
20 MC IC

Dynamic stretching on way to middle of parking lot in front of fields.

Jailbreak Ladder:

Mosey around the parking lot in a figure 8-ish pattern, stopping at each end and halfway for 10 civilian count reps of a called exercise. A different member of the PAX calls the exercise at each stop. Perform the current exercise, then all of the previous exercises that have been called (ladder).

Tuck – Merkins (110 cum total)
Soft Pretzel – Squats (100 cum total)
Mr. Bean – Burpees (ouch – 90 cum total IF you did 10 each time)
Udder – Flutters (80 cum total)
Dumpster Fire – Box Cutters (70 cum total)
Cheddar – J-lows (60 cum total)
Tool Bag – Imperial Wakers (50 cum total)
Private Benjamin – Carolina Dry Docks (40 cum total)
Patient Zero – Dolly (30 cum total)
Hooker (FNG) – Shin Touches (similar to Chippy cross – 20 cum total)
AMTRAK (FNG) – Dips (10 cum total)