Author Archive Zinfandel

A Tour of the Hills of Zinfanwood…

My 43rd Q at the site that turned me from a boy into the hairy man I am today. I love this site but damn it so much of the pain is a little tricky to deliver while properly social distancing. Thought we would clock a tour checking out some new real estate in the Waxhaw area, throw exercises in and try to break some Strava records. Because that’s important…

3mins before take off, DW ain’t around and I kill time dancing while rolling through the Extended DiCCS. Count off due to over 10 men and it’s time to roll.


Mosey around for a bit and head to the church parking lot. Circle up for….

1. 30 x SSH IC

2. 10x Moroccan Night Clubs IC

3. 10 x Merkins IC

4. 20 x Imperial Walker

5. 10 x LS Squats IC

6. Calf Stretch

Mosey out to main road and complete 3 burpees and 10 Speedskaters per light. Al Gore while you wait for the 6. Cross together.

Mosey to the lot and circle up for Merkin Pistol Webb. Start at 10 and 40. Work your way down to 1 and 4. Interesting. It’s worse in a different way going backwards.

Another Bad Idea. Record is 43 seconds by some punk kid. Start of the skateboard lot to the top of the street. Jailbreak. I tied the record set by some young punk we don’t know. Take that kid!

Top of the hill. 30 x Carolina Dry Docks

Make a left and then at the T, 30 x Jumping Lunges

Make left and head down to curve, 40 x American Knockouts

Run straight until Sharon Road, 5 x burpees OYO.

Run the curve all the way to the graveyard, plank 60secs and then straight into 10 x Merkins.

Jailbreak down Bad Idea. Record is 45 seconds from Kid Rock. Let’s roll

Let’s mosey 10 yards and grab some wall.

• 30 x Air presses with heel lifts

• 30 x Jabs with Toe Lifts

Mosey back due to time. Stop for 30 x dips CC and 20 x H2H IC.

Back to COT, run a bit further to clock the 3mi officially.


Beautiful morning in a great area. Everyone was safe except for East Button’s calf. Sadly it blew out again as he was attempting to keep up with me, you gotta knock that off. That ship has sailed….

I didn’t get our HRs rolling like usual but we kept it moving. After those two 1/8-1/4mi jailbreaks I was dying but others moseyed it based on how long I was waiting at the end. Lock it up!

Overall everyone did great and it’s awesome to see everyone. Keep posting and pushing yourselves! Ping a buddy you haven’t seen in a while to join tomorrow and/or Saturday. We all need this…


Q Source is starting up fresh starting tomorrow with Shop Dawg leading the chat. It will take place right after Impromptu and will last 30mins. Bring a coffee cup to enjoy some of Shops delicious coffee that he plans to provide and a chair to get comfy

100 PAX Challenge. A BackBlast on this has been posted but here are a couple bullet points:

– We are incredibly blessed to be a part of such an amazing organization

– Lots of PAX are fortunate and looking to give back during this time

– The 100 PAX challenge is a challenge to get 100 PAX to each give $100 for a total of $10,000

– We would give away all this money to 2-4 local charities in $2,500 or $5,000 grants

– Interviews to be conducted with local charities to see how F3 could partner with them for the long term

– We are in need of 2-3 add’l PAX to be a part of initiative

– No obligation to give $100; give what you can

Thanks for the support. Reach out to myself or @Keith Balaniz with questions.

Box Wine for the Zin!

I’m slammed with chores and not able to write something poetic today. This morning was amazing and I woke up with a smile on my face. I was anxious to get out there and was hoping to get 10+ so I could be activated to Q since I was the secondary.

HEY OH! We got 13, let’s do this….


Mosey to the front of the entrance and back. Circle up for….

1. 30 x SSH IC

2. 10x Moroccan Night Clubs IC

3. 10 x Merkins IC

4. 20 x Imperial Walker

5. 10 xLS Squats IC

6. Calf Stretch

Mosey long way out to main road and back to the school for a reverse Tyson Press Webb. Start at 10 and 40. Work your way down to 1 and 4

Mosey to school loop and pair up. Partner 1 does a hot lap, while partner 2 completes:

• 200 x Speedskaters

• 200 x Big Boy

• 100 x Bobby Hurleys

Let’s mosey to other side of the school. Grab some wall.

• 30 x Air presses with heel lifts

• 30 x Jabs with Toe Lifts

• Rinse and Repeat

Lineup across parking lot. Plank Box Suicide. 60sec plank. 30 x American Knockout. Suicides. 5 rounds. It’s good for the core!!

Mosey. See the other group. Mosey back to where we were. Line up again. 5 rounds of 20 x V-ups and a hard mosey to one of the lot and back. Cut short due to time.

Back to COT. Finished.


Absolutely thrilled to be back out there. I’ve been precautious during this time because I’m concerned about those I do and don’t know that are being impacted by Covid. I’m really happy that the board came together on basic safety measures and look forward to more people joining us as they see the now extended DiCCS we have added.

I was glad to see the leaders in my group, 6 total of us, follow those extremely basic guidelines and the fact that they were willing to follow me around in the gloom was even better. Also they didn’t really have a choice. We got 3+ miles, a smattering of exercises and then all rounded out with a nice coffeeteria shooting the shit.

It’s good to be back, keep up the good work and let’s continue to evolve!


3rd F Tomorrow, see posts with Zoom info

All sites opened back up officially now but start times differ a tad. 6am start time on weekdays except Asylum, Ignition and Swarm starting 15 minutes earlier. All Saturdays at 7am

100 PAX Challenge. More details (and a BackBlast) to come but here are a couple bullet points:

– We are incredibly blessed to be a part of such an amazing organization

– Lots of PAX are fortunate and looking to give back during this time

– The 100 PAX challenge is a challenge to get 100 PAX to each give $100 for a total of $10,000

– We would give away all this money to 2-4 local charities in $2,500 or $5,000 grants

– Interviews to be conducted with local charities to see how F3 could partner with them for the long term

– We are in need of 2-3 add’l PAX to be a part of initiative

– No obligation to give $100; give what you can

Thanks for the support. Reach out to myself or @Keith Balaniz with questions.

F3 Waxhaw – Monday Virtual Workout

Monday virtual Q wienke

Warm up
Slow mosey .25 miles
Circle up -15 low slow squats , 15 imperial walkers – 10 slow merkins , 5 diamond merkins , 5 wide Merkins – calve stretch

The thang
Fine a .25 mile stretch triple nickel ( 3 exercises/ 5 times) running does not count
10-Jump Squats—5-burpees —10-bomb jacks
((At start of quarter mile 10 jump squats , halfway 5 burpees , at end 10 bomb jacks turn around rinse and repeat 4 more times))

Mosey a .25 mile
Walking lunges – 20 then 3 burpees, 10 then 3 burpee and 5 then 3 burpees — rinse repeat

Mosey .25 mile
Jack Webb 1 Merlin 4 air presses – 2 merkins 8 air press ect.. get to 5 merkins and 20 airpress
Mosey .25 mile to finish the Webb start at 6 merkins and 24 air-presses get to 10 merkins and 40 airpress

Mosey to COT and finish with ab work until
1 burpee, 4 big boys , 8 heels to heaven , 12 second elbow planks rinse repeat but add 4 other than burpee increase by 1 each round until time is done. So second round would be 2 burpees , 8 big boys, 12 heels to heaven and 16 second elbow plank ect…

A Skin Tight Skeleton Bodysuit to Run After or To Run Away From???!??!!

And for my 41st Q, I realized I haven’t Q’d in over a month. Were my costumes in November too much? Could I have finally worn out my welcome? Only 5 Qs in 74 days but my mind was running in circles with too many ideas. Struggling with not repeating someone else’s ideas. Oh the humanity….

A little surprise, my daughter’s 2nd birthday was canceled to this corona virus. It was Coco themed so day of the dead costume would go to waste, or not!

I showed up in a skin tight body suit leaving literally nothing to the imagination. You are welcome. You would either run faster trying to get away from me or trying to keep up to sneak a peak.

DiCCS given. Form counts. Don’t cheat yourself. Let’s roll.


Nice mosey as we begin to warm everything up. Lots of random exercises to be called as we get the blood flowing. Yelled at the chatty Kathy’s in the back to zip it and get their asses moving.

Over to Rudy’s Poop Palace for some “rounds”. First round is 40s, then 30s, then 20s and lastly 10s. 4 laps total. Start with 40 Donkey Kicks at the Poo Barn. Run up the sidewalk and before making the hard left towards the school knock out 40 Speedskaters’s. Run to the back of the school for 40 Dips. Run down the hill back to the Shit Shack. Rinse and repeat subtracting by 10 per round. Killer open and took a little longer than I hoped.

I love/hate bear crawls. When combined with the 10 and 40 exercise of bear crawls and Carolina dry docks I come alive. Well I’ve conquered that so now it’s time for something even worse. Bear crawls and Mike Tyson’s. Dedicating this round to my man Chicken Little. Just brutal though.

Partner up with who I tell you. This is my house. Split exercises. Runner is the timer. Run the full lot and back. Switch exercises after completing one round.

• Jump over Burpee

• Tricep

• Thrusters

• Curls

• Kettle Bell Swing

Jog to circles. Jail break to the other circle. V-ups and hip dips IC. Mosey up. Jail break down passed tennis courts. Penis’ to Heaven and then Heels to Heaven thrown in. Mosey to the poop palace. Checking for time. Jail break to first break inside walk. Pistol LBCs. Mosey to next break in sidewalk. American hammers. Jailbreak to COT. 5 x burpees on your own.

I got 4.5mi and I’m sure a few broke 5mi. Well done everyone.


The opener was a smoker and everyone was really putting in the work pushing the pace. Just short of two miles by the time you complete those four laps and the uphill portion is an ass kicker.

Bear crawl and Tyson’s is just mean. We got through it but called at least 3 x 5-10 second breaks. If you got through all of it awesome! I missed one MT in the last set of 10 so I’ve got more work to do but man, I was so close.

Cinderblocks was just to push the muscles and closing with jailbreaks was to burn off any remaining fuel in the tanks. I think we did it.

We have another level of camaraderie that comes along with posting at certain sites. Morning Wood has it, Ignition/Swarm yup and then Gladiator. When you see people pushing themselves as hard as they can you can’t help but push harder. I might not ever catch the guys in front of me but damn it I’m trying!

No single name callouts today, not necessary when you are all just flooring it. Find others to pull into Gladiator next month, I’ve officially passed the torch to Dasher for April.


See Recalc’s post about gathering things for those that will need it if schools end up being closed.

Speed for Need and Spartan races are canceled

I’m soaked (your M didn’t say that)

It’s raining, it’s pouring and some men are trying to converge due to the rain that happened today? Calling for more rain tonight. But this workout is free and I’m an idiot………Ahh hell, let’s rock and roll.

For my 40th Q I was asked by Hooch back in like early November. Dude gets what it takes to Q a Site, proper planning and buffoon like Qs (that’s me!). No required mileage like Ignition but a simple request of “destroy everyone around you like they are getting stung by 1,000 wasps at once”. That’s the exact quote from Deflated and if you’ve met him you know he never jokes around and always speaks at a tone level you can easily hear.

Would people be water logged? Would people need to arrive via canoe? Are roads flooded? Are trees down? Was the stench of farts in the bed just too great to break free from?

DiCCS given. 3 teenagers. Let’s roll.


Mosey to Rudy’s for 40 x squats. Mosey near tennis courts for 40 x Merkins. Mosey to low circle for 40 x SSH. Mosey to other circle for 10 x Moroccan Night Club. Mosey to benches for 40 x dips. Mosey around curve to far lot for calf stretch. Another mosey for Jimmy Dugan.

Mosey to lot for a nice sequence of burpees at each light.

Mosey to Champion Forest. 20 x Speedskaters and 20 x Monkey Humpers, alternating between street lamps. Circle back for the 6 once you hit the intersection.

Partner up with opposite speeds. Run opposite ways around the long circle. When you meet your partner each knock out 5 x hurpees aka hand release Merkins. Complete 3 times. I should have stuck with this to hit 6mi but we ended with only two laps.

I audibled the final lap to 20 x Jump Squats and 20 x Lunges at each light back. We completed the 3rd silent “C” inside of our DiCCCS warning which stands for “cross”. We crossed together and safely.

Broke into two lines. Indian run all the way back. I think some dudes and


Wait, what is a moleskin? Foreskin? Does anyone read this far? I wrote the opening last night but now i have a beer in my hand. So….GREAT JOB EVERYONE! (Capitol letters equal success). See you all in the gloom.


See previous BBs. Commitment is closed.

Beer Run tomorrow.

That Was My Favorite Bandana…

We all seemed to start on a happy note but as we took the COT photo before even starting it’s like some bad juju was in the air. We take off into the pitch dark….

BANG….Chastain with shin splints. BOOM….Carb Load’s recovering from back issues. FAAaAAARRRRTTTT…..and I’ve gotta poop. Which leads me to the title of my BB. Somewhere along the trail in American flag bandana. Just leave it there as it was used in a crime.

When i got back off the trail Chastain and Carb Load were counting in cadence between the two homes in Millbridge. Something tells me they won’t be invited over for supper anytime soon.

I’m sure the rest of the fellas crushed the CTT. Happy morning wood everyone!

Table for 19 and the kids will eat for FREE!!

And for my 39th Q, I’ve expanded the menu to include fruit cups and homemade mac & cheese! I created a kids menu with random stops that did or didn’t have to do with food. My son helped color it in moments before we left the house and we were off.

Pulled up to the school. Familiar faces. Very proud to see my two project respects as I publicly share their names to complete the Octuple this week. It’s not easy task but Schneider and Recalc are two posts away from owning it.

Blades of Glory has 3 kids so all of his wouldn’t be eating for free. Read the fine print before trying to ask to speak to the manager next time.

DiCCS given. Goooooo…..


Mosey towards the middle school and circle up in front. Time to warm up and stretch these frames of ours:

• 20 x SSH

• 10 x Imperial Squaker

• Jimmy Dugan

• Calf Stretch

• Yoga Stretch

• 10 x Moroccan Night Club

Partner up, sizes don’t matter. First course is Mac & Cheese with a hot lap in between. Look at the first word of each exercise, it’s spells it. Nailed it!:

• Merkins

• Abcs with feet

• Carolina Dry Docks &

• Crawl Bear

• Hurpees (Hand Release Merkins)

• E2K (Elbow to Knee)

• E2K flip flop

• Squats

• Eleven Burpees a- TOGETHER!!

Mosey to Picnic Tables. Gladiator course for the kids across the picnic tables while the dads complete:

• 50 x Dips, run to Alcove, 20 x Donkey Kicks, run back to rinse and repeat.

Mosey to long sidewalk. Abs around the horn due to too much pizza. Everyone takes a turning calling one out and counting! 10 or 20 each…

We have arrived at Rudy’s Poo palace and we need to confirm if anyone needs to go to the bathroom. Everyone have a seat on the “toilet” aka wall.

• 25 x Air presses with heel lifts

• 25 x Jabs with Toe Lifts

• 10 x MTs in IC

• Rinse & Repeat

Let’s mosey but SAFETY FIRST!! Time for a fire drill…. everyone circle up in the grass. High knees and everyone takes turns yelling “FIRE!!”. Once yelled everyone drops down and rolls to the right, does a merkin, rolls to the left, another merkin and back up for high knees.

Mosey to COT. Some planks. Some more planks. 5 merkins. Heels to heaven. 20 x 6” plank jacks IC. Complete.


What a night!! So great to see everyone out with all the kids. No crying or whining, each putting in effort and they were all smiling ear to ear. I planned the weinke with something that moved semi fast so they wouldn’t get too bored with things like pushups.

Gerber has been bringing Speedbump out and I’m not sure what u was waiting for to snag my son. I was inspired and pinged BC to cook for this prized site. I loved every minute of it. Next time I’m bringing my 5 year old with me because he would have loved it.

It’s a fine line between a bootcamp and Dad’s bootcamp. We only got 1.79mi in but we did a lot in that time. If you did the reps and pushed it, you earned your dessert tonight. If you floated through the exercises and kept your HR to a minimum, why? In the morning I’ve heard Gerber and others say, “If I’m getting up at 430am then I’m going to bust my ass!” or something like that. Can’t say the same thing maybe about a workout at 530pm but the mentality should be all the same.

Tomorrow or Saturday or next week, gut check time. What’s holding you back? Your brain or your body? My guess is it’s your brain telling yourself to stop. Fight it. Try running to the next crack in the sidewalk and then the next one after that. Don’t stop pushing your limits. Do every last rep until you physically can’t anymore. After a while you will get faster, stronger but more importantly that voice in your head will get quieter.

A good one to try is the “no modify” week badge. This is one you don’t tell anyone about because Deflated hasn’t created a badge for yet but because it’s a personal goal. Do every rep and exercise called. Run every last lap. If you aren’t chasing after something, why are you waking up at 430am every day?

I took us out, cradle to grave. One love.


See earlier BBs.

Gremlin 2020

Jan 18, 2020 – Gremlin @ UNCC

Happy Saturday and good morning! Nothing says conquering the weekend like waking up at 4am to go get your ass handed to you at a CSAUP at UNCC. I remember a couple of our brothers doing it last year and complaining about how brutal it was. This time last year I was only a few months into my F3 journey and not physically prepared for an event like that.

But 2020 is a new year and after reading the preblast about the Gremlin I thought, “what other stupid bros can I get to join me for this thang??!!?” Posted to The Playhouse as FISH ON!! Mad Dog is the first HC, then Brutus and then the smoke signals finally reached Blue Screen. Let’s meet at 5am at Target to start our journey.

To no one’s surprise Brutus is high (on life) as a kite! That dude’s energy is palpable and I internally hoped he would conserve because today is the day you don’t want to blow your load to early. Blue Screen has his duffle in hand and shares that he only went to the gym 3 times yesterday which is basically a cheat day. Our full body suburban with all the fixin’s pulls up and I’m disappointed to find Mad Dog is not wearing a chauffeur’s cap.


We arrive, sign in, start on a roof deck and look down to the stadium scoreboard where Gremlin’s photo is being shown. The realty of just what the Gremlin actually is hits home. We lost a brother 2 years ago and this event is a remembrance of sorts to talk about the type of HIM he was. More on that later…

100+ mosey, circle up for some basic warm up and then break up into 3 groups. I won’t get into every single exercise but will at a high level. It was a long day consisting of a lot of mosey and four separate Qs essentially. It was sold as 8mi but only time would tell…

Q#1 – Station work consisting of some Billy Blanks Tae Bo stuff, a bunch pull ups and then ab work. Mosey to a set of stairs a grassy knoll for Fire Merkins. Brutal and absolutely bringing them to a Q near you. Mosey to a big hill for some Paula Abduls of burpees and WW2s. Meet up with everyone for a water break. The 4 of us were separated by the groups so we broke the rules and joined back up.

Q#2 – over to a massive parking deck. 5 floors of torture. A smattering of exercises in part one that involved running backwards of each ramp for every floor. Up to the top, rinse & repeat 4 times. Then we had a yoga/stretching for the next part. It basically consisted of the Waxhaw fellas making poop and eye contact jokes. It was well received as everyone was happy to laugh while on the top deck with tornado winds at 37 degrees. It was at this point MD and BS’s cycles were in sync and they were “prairie dogging”. Back to the last 20 minutes and it was back to stair and on your 6 work. F stairs. Another water break and the 2 fellas were crowning and jumped into a truck to find a hole. It was at this point I think Brutus’ excitement levels were much, much quieter. Could I convince him to eat a gel or a bar after turning me down the first few hours? We were now 7 miles in in like 2.5 hours. The 8mi preblast was BS….

Q#3 – long mosey across campus to where we said a prayer at the site Riley Howell tackled the shooter at UNCC last year. Brutal to think about but what a selfless hero at 21 years old. Back into 3 groups and 3 more beat downs. It’s irrelevant what we did at this point but the two fellas joined us again and looked a collective 10lbs lighter. Blue Screen actually exclaimed that it was a top 10 dump of his life, special moment and I’m glad i could be there to share that memory. I met a guy name Mogwai at this point who was an FNG at the the Gremlin last year. He was one of Gremlin’s close buddies and they were training for a marathon at his unfortunate passing. Really great group of guys.

Q#4 – another long mosey to another part of campus for 4 separate group workouts but at this point we were just mentally drained. Brutus was actually silent, hand on the Bible. Crazy and hard to believe. We learned what I think was called “Scottish Dragon” but I could be totally making that up. I will be unveiling at my Gladiator Q in March. The 2nd to last station we met a young man, Chicken Strip, that told us a wonderful story about his experience after participating after the Gremlin last year. He never met Gremlin but had an amazing story of the impact he has had on some of his personal lowest days. I got a little verklempt. Another hour had passed and I couldn’t tell you where we were in the campus. Watch said 10.5 miles by now but I was just happy to be done…..

Or so I thought. 3 trucks in neutral awaited us on the 1st floor of a 6 floor parking lot. Those cars stood between us, food and this damn thing being completed. Broke up into groups of 3 and we took shifts pushing each truck up 12 different ramps. Yikes. Gassed. Dead. Complete.

Rick aka Gremlin’s family awaited us at the end for our COT. I’m not sure of the final count but over 100 participated in this celebration of life. Rick’s wife and 3 daughters were so appreciative of what everyone had done yesterday to share the memories of the type of things their father and her husband loved so dearly. Very special moment.


It was a cold, long beatdown. 4Qs, 11.3mi and 5hrs, 21mins long. Great job to the 3 men that pushed through our comfort zones together. My only complaint with the whole day was it being held during Dryuary. Ugh, Heinekin 0.0s don’t quite quench the thirst like you hope. But as we found out and/or convinced ourselves….you can drink and drive with them. Right???

One thing that was discussed in the car was how hard being reminded of Gremlin’s passing for his family might feel. While I agree on some level it’s hard to do, it’s also extremely important to not bury the memories and find closure by remembering the good. As we all know we are all in F3 for different reasons but those reasons are all very fluid. It might be physical “things” but it also could be different forms of depression brought on by who knows what someone is going through. The collective camaraderie that comes from posting at any and all of the Fs we have is so important.

You are feeding your own personal soul, which is so important. Then that feeling you have while you transform pushes you to recognize other people in your life that could benefit from joining us in the gloom. The stories shared each morning are all reminders of the effort outside of F3 you need to put energy into to locate more of us. While I worked out yesterday morning with 3 brothers, I also knew and was motivated by the men on the trail run, Commitment and Homecoming.

Seeing yesterday that 4 FNGs joined us was just like shoveling a ton of coal in my internal engine. I’m sore and I’m tired but you can bet I will be posting on Monday. Stay motivated boys and push through the pain. Whether mental or physical issues we are all dealing with, keep posting because it’s with each other we can accomplish so much.

Happy Sunday fellas. Enjoy the day.


When I was a kid I used to go to school at 5 in the morning through 5 feet of snow and walked 5 miles uphill….BOTH WAYS.  Well, now the pax of F3Waxhax has a story to tell their grandkids when….


Mosey around the school  (I was told 4 mile min and more intense)  so the mosey started at a about a 830 Pace.  Circle up 15 MC’s, couple of runners stretches,  some merkins and some IW.  Mosey to the intersection.  Pause, some merkins,  mosey into CF 10 air squats at each light till the stop sign, END Warm up.


Decent hill on backside of CF (I’m naming Bratwurst Hill) 11’s Burpees at the top Merkin Shedders at the Bottoms,  Guessing its just over 1/8 mile end to end.  Finish that and head back home, a brief stop at a couple of lights for merkins and on the final stretch partner up for some Derkins 5 rotate partner every other light (to be fair I didn’t explain it all that well).  Mosey home,  couple jailbreaks to finish just on time!


Gents this workout was inspired by Brat, didn’t know he would be there today so it was ironic.  Hills will make you faster and stronger,  an extra dynamic that brings additional endurance to the table.  When I started Brat made a group of us do something similar and it was brutal.  I remember how bad it sucked so as I continue to see the Waxhaw pax improve physically this was a solid challenge for us all.  Furthermore, you can bust your kids or your grandkids chops someday and say… I used to get up a 4:45 in the morning and run up hills both ways and do burpees till I almost puked so quite whining😊.  Maybe, just maybe, if we keep this up and follow the leads of our Respects and instead of saying used to we get to say… This morning, I got up a 4:45….

Some stand out notes:  Cobbler has a no-quit attitude,  I love it!  Zin was busting my chops, “I could have found a treadmill”.  Wolverine is an animal. Period. Hootch is much, much faster than he used to be. Bottlecap thinks its summer. I think I still live in Wisconsin.   Had a great time, great crowd and saw a lot of heart, honored to lead this morning and glad to see such a solid pax that has improved themselves and continue looking to improve themselves! That is what male leadership is about!


Christ’s Closet folding tomorrow morning 8 is at UMC  almost corner of Cuthbertson and Newtown ( you will see a bunch of f3 stickers)

We Lost A Lot of Good Men Out There….

And for my 38th Q, I will pull a rabbit out of my…nah. We are going to destroy some Strava segments together after being personally annoyed as to how the timer starts and stops. Most will read that last sentence and have zero clue what I’m talking about. That’s ok too, you will earn the morning!

What would I do? So many hills but how many can we hit in 45 minutes? How many can we jail break? First weinke was destroyed after mapping out my run and it was 4.2mi. That ain’t happening in 45 minutes so I removed a 1.25mi section which would have upset a lot of pax this AM.

More guys than I was expecting this morning. A lot of the usual suspects, some familiar faces and two guys running from their recent FNG tags.

DiCCS given. Goooooo…..


Mosey towards the safe place to cross on the other side of the gas station, over towards Dreamchasers, across the bridge and to that random dimly lit parking lot we go. Circle up:

• 20 x SSH

• 10 x Imperial Squaker

• Jimmy Dugan

• Calf Stretch

Let’s mosey passed the snow cones and make a right to head towards the library and over to the basketball court. Find yourself some room and it’s time for some Compass! Well that was awful.

Mosey back towards library. Prep everyone for the full jail break up Bad Idea which is about 320 meters-ish. Kid Rock owns the record at 47 seconds and today more than one person will conquer this damn thing. So help me…and everyone hates me. I ripped off my headlamp because it would help my breathing probably and also because I didn’t want to look like a dufus while the paramedics revived my limp, lifeless body. Holy sheet that was terrible but everyone gave it what they had.

Mosey over to graveyard for 4 corners. 20 x monkey humpers, 10 x Merkins, 20 x Gas Pumps and 10 x Carolina Dry Docks. 2 rounds.

Mosey to the other side of the graveyard. Teams of 2. Partner 1 Burpees. Partner 2 Hot Lap. 2 laps each. Rinse and repeat but switch to Speedskaters. Did some of us not count right? No idea. I was mentally prepping for what was to come next.

Now it’s time to run back down Bad Idea in an attempt to beat the record which Kid Rock also owns at 45 seconds. LET’S GO!!! And we are all dead again….

Mosey to cupcake parking lot. Time check. Ab work in the shopping center to relax the legs a bit? We need all our strength to get up the hill to beat Deadwood’s 57 second record. We will never know because we didn’t make it.

Is it closing time yet? Yes, thank you lord.


19 total posted this morning for a shot at the title at my home base, The Floater. Thank you to everyone that joined me because I love coming up with ideas to inflict a wine drunk version of pain on myself and everyone with me. I think we did it you guys!

As for the Strava titles, son of a B! Some how I started my watch on “treadmill” which means it doesn’t track GPS. Total and inexcusable BS. I was mad for like 45 seconds, I moved on to annoyed and now I’m just upset. Lots of steps during such a rough loss and the grieving process. I left it all out there with nothing to show. Such bummer.

So where did we go and where did we hit? Here are the facts:

• Bad Idea uphill towards the Cemetery (about 320 meters, just short of a 1/4mi)

• Record: Kid Rock @ 47 seconds

• NEW RECORD: Chastain @ 45 seconds!!

• Bad Idea downhill towards the School (about 320 meters, just short of a 1/4mi)

• Record: Kid Rock @ 45 seconds

• It was not broken today but Hollywood crossed @ 52 seconds!!

Semi congrats and no I don’t care if you came in 2nd, including myself. If you ain’t first, you’re last. That’s the motto. I think Carb Load would have broken the downhill but that’s only because I watched it first hand while drafting him. Great push by everyone, that wasn’t easy. Even funnier when DW told us at the end of COT he thought he won all the titles on the segments. He said, “I passed so many guys!” but if you start from the back that’s what happens big boy. Enjoy 3rd and 4th place today you loser (but only because Carb Load and I have dumb watches).

We might need to edit a name I gave to one of our newest PAX, Floppy Disk, at the New Years Eve workout. Dude is killing it and keeps showing up and he reminds me of a young Carb Load, someone who keeps showing up. Just keep posting man and you will be called Hard Disk in no time….that doesn’t sound right.

Also Sambuca! Day #2 for this FNG who started yesterday and he brought out all dry heaving this morning. I didn’t hear it but DW mentioned he might barf from hearing him barf. I wish that would have happened….

Great to see Swimmers! That dude Site Qs like 6-7 sites in-between managing male urethras and its always good to see you.

Lastly, Trojan and Blades of Glory. We miss you guys. Great seeing you both today and keep on, keeping on. See you both tomorrow and Saturday. Pressure is on!


Saturday, 8am – Christ Closet’s Organizing and Folding party!

Nails has his VQ tonight at Clyent Dinner at 5:30pm!

Transporter has Swarm at 5:15am tomorrow!

Wedding Singer has Impromptu at 5:30am tomorrow (and he better freaking finish these damn BBs)!

Damascus has Diesel at 5:30am tomorrow

Operation toothbrush and toothpaste for the kids in Waxhaw closes this week! The 3rd F team has gathered a bunch and more is still coming in!