Author Archive Zinfandel

No One Drinks Alone!

After being on the road for over a week, both business and pleasure, I was excited to get back out and lead this group of knuckleheads. I was able to post at 3 different sites while traveling but they lacked the intensity and humor that comes with WUC.

DISCLAIMER: Great dudes, great sites and I can’t recommend enough posting at other sites. {fin}

Transporter welcomed me back with open arms and absolutely crushed me yesterday. Leading up to the Effie’s though my adrenaline was already screaming with that excitement and I knew I would be ripping some tasty brews this evening so I needed to do my best to burn the calories up front. 

24 total PAX. Disclaimer Given. 

THE THANG

Mosey Loop, Lets get it….

22oz of Miller Lite Thighs

  • 22 x Lunge Walk between lights
  • 22 x monkey humpers at each light – everyone looks like an idiot, I love it

40oz of Dana Abs (40sec each)

  1. 40 second side plank
  2. 40 second side plank
  3. 40 second elbow plank
  4. 40 x LBCs IC
  5. 40 x Plank Jacks
  6. 40 second side plank
  7. 40 second side plank
  8. 40 second elbow plank
  9. 40 x LBCs IC

Jailbreak to the Shed, Grab a Partner & Split a 12 pack (12 bottles x 12oz = 144oz)

  • 144 x Bobby Hurley’s 
  • 144 x merkins
  • 144 x squats

Mosey to the top of the Hill and over to the Lunch Tables. Team up and split a 1/2 barrel key (165 total 12oz cups)

  • 165 x dips
  • 165 x inclined merkins
  • 165 x In & Outs

Mosey around the corner, Grab a Partner for Keg Stands

  • 1 partner runs the loop while doing bear crawls under the overhang
  • 2nd partner does a keg stand against the wall
  • Complete twice 

Mosey Back and we stopped for 12 x Hand Release Merkins at the flag posts

MOLESKIN:

Beer was on the brain, reps and workout would be based on things that make me happy. Planned it all out while feeding my daughter her night time bottle. Then I slept great, Dancing Bear picked up Fuse and myself and my heart was racing when we pulled up to the school. I didn’t feel like circling up this and wanted to warm up the muscles gradually…..

Super shocker, not even two lights into the workout and Fusebox was already checking everyone out. What do you mean checking everyone out Ben? Exactly what I said. Follow me here: How do you think he spotted and started thong gate? Who publicly posted his appreciation for Dana’s abdominals? If the shoe fits….

His alibi is that he only wants to help with form but I’m starting to think that’s just an excuse after getting caught starring…..only time will tell. 

Honestly the banter at this point was some of the best. After we all saw Breadbowl leading the group we had a lot of comments to make since it seemed he really found his stride with lunges and monkey humpers. Well done young man, well done…

Speaking of an orangutang and a gorilla, Goodfella and Deadwood were squeaking early into my 40oz of Dana Abs. Heart wasn’t racing fast enough or something for those two. Sorry I skipped SSHs and a few merkins….give me time to get the hearts going. Not all of us are doing yoga on the reg, so these are new moves for our cores. 

After getting to Transporter’s shed I literally remember nothing except reading my cheatsheet and moseying between workouts. Heart moving too fast….

Laughably, keeping track of the number of reps and counting to 144 or 165 is tough, you guys. It wasn’t tough for me but I heard a lot of “like 47” or “how many did you finish with before?” and my favorite “just go to the next exercise”. 

The final hand release merkins were supposed to mimic picking yourself up off the grown after falling from too many adult beverages. I’ve never personally had to do it but I could imagine…..

I did learn that me planning my Q after a beatdown by Transporter and last time I went after Dasher, my intensity levels are usually higher than where I want a standard workout. Better make use of that Q juice!

As always, thank you all for letting me lead. It was a bit repetitive between stops this morning but I hope everyone equally enjoyed and hated it. 

Lastly, thank you to Recalculating for letting me host his site and for all the support leading up to my big day. Question for you, are those that don’t post at Impromptu the day of the Effie’s allows to post at that event in the evening?

PS – Monkey Humpers are terrible!

PPS – Honestly I will have tremendous respect if Short Circuit shows up again after the monkey humpers. We should get some aerial footage of that exercise though….for our social media, not for Fuse’s personal archives. 

ANNOUNCEMENTS: 

  • The Effie’s!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Bring clothes for both Bottlecap and Dancing Bear
  • Commitment tomorrow morning with Doughboy on Q…..ugh, good luck!

You know I can’t swim…..

15 PAX joined me for my 3rd Q and again I selfishly focused on my our problem areas as a whole. Fresh off my return trip from the city with tall buildings and bright lights, Charlotte, I brought back a gift I wanted to give to my brothers. I knew they would love it and based on the mumbles, I will assume it was a lot of thank yous, as they were very pleased. Honestly some of them were so happy they could barely finish, some even refused to do most of it because they believed they weren’t worthy. Next time participation trophies for showing up….
Disclaimer given as to not upset the site Q….2nd disclaimer given about getting wet, get over it. Lets Mosey. Circle up in the back parking lot:
  • 20 SSHs IC
  • 20 Potato Pickers IC
  • 20 Mtn. Climbers IC
  • 20 Peter Parkers on elbows IC
  • 20 Parker Peters IC
THE THANG
Mosey to the base of Mt. Chiseled. Grab Bricks, IC with a lap in-between each round:
  • 20 Squat thrusters (burpees without push-up)
    • I was told that its not called that but then if thats true you are telling me that basically years from now Lance Armstrong was a liar??  I won’t have it Posse: https://www.livestrong.com/article/1002289-squat-thrust-vs-burpee/
  • Glute Bridge w/ 20 bench press
  • Al Gore w/ 20 fly
  • Shadow Boxing w/ 20 slow deep squats – little confusion based on my terrible description but we figured it out
Mosey 1/2 to Entrance and back to first light. Partner Up and grab a lifting rock. With rock overhead, Lunges to Next Light and switch rocks with partner. Lunges to Next Light and place rocks down
Mosey to the base of Mt. Chiseled for those that their love handles:
  • 30 Second Plank
  • 20 x LBCs IC
  • 30 second side plank
  • 30 x Heals to Heaven in cadence
  • 30 second side plank
  • 20 x LBCs IC
  • 30 second side plank
Oh shout the rocks, mosey back to rocks & repeat lunges to return rocks. Mosey back to right side of Chiseled for the bearing of the gifts…
Bear Crawls & Burpees – 16 12 parking spot lines, Bear Crawl 4 lines, 5 burpees & bear crawl back. Add 4 more lines each time, so 8 and 12 parking spots to finish.
Mosey back to bricks for some…
  • 20 x oblique twists. IC. These kind of hurt
  • 20 x Glute bridge w/ bench but this time with a leg up. IC
  • Switch legs, repeat
  • 20 x American Hammers

fin

Moleskin:

I think I’m starting to get the hang of this thing. Doing exercises that make people slightly uncomfortable due to them not being in touch with their feminine side might be my forte. Regardless I can’t shake my beer gut so the whole core area must be destroyed by me. Thanks for playing along…

Only a few moments to laugh about this morning as we kept it moving basically the entire time. My goal was to stay IC as much as possible to avoid taking breaks/fartsacking in the middle of the workout. For the most part we nailed that and the only break was for gazelles that crushed the B&B “gift”. I also attempted as little running as possible and makes it tough to get the HR up to a fat burning pace but 1.47mi is probably close to the lowest mileage for that location. #goals

I do want to highlight one guy that consistently shows up (a little late), puts in the time and today he got a great joke in. Today we had odd numbers and Jingles took on the challenge of carrying his rock overhead the entire challenge by his lonesome. Lt. Rubbermaid made light of the size of his rock and Jingles quickly clapped back with, “that’s what they all say when they see it!” Well done.

Thank you to everyone for joining today and for the support over the last couple months.

Lastly, thank you to Flo for taking us out!

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

  • SOB Xmas Party Nov 30th, E333ies Dec 7th @ 8pm and Jingle Jangle Beer Exchange Dec 15th @ 8pm
  • Bottle Cap is collecting men’s clothing for a shelter, see him if you have donations
  • Dancing Bear is collecting bathroom supplies from your hotel stays
  • Tomorrow’s Workouts:
    • Halfback is on Q @ The Floater
    • Tuck is on Q @ Pursuit
    • Deadwood is on Q @ Clyent Dinner

The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming… 

My second Q since popping my cherry just 12 days ago and I was already feeling really apprehensive about the next one. I could barely sleep last night and was nervous after all the older guys were so relentlessly bashing my gearless-gear workout. I’m kidding, I’m Bruce Wayne and I immediately tapped my Batman spirit when I got the signal from Foundation.

The title for this workout came to me while pooping in the Batcave and it would serve as my homage towards the Dark Knight. You might remember this quote from that movie as said by Harvey Dent when the Joker and the guys from Asylum & Ignition his goons were threatening civility in The Playhouse Gotham. The loose meaning of the quote is to say that its about as dark as its going to get right now but from this moment we start heading towards the light.

I spent part of Sunday mapping out each of the street lamps across the campus of Cuthbertson and created a workout solely focused on the “light”. On Friday Dasher handed us a whooping but one that I actually enjoyed. I needed to some how keep my brethren, the 6, closer. Could it be that I might create a workout with as little stoppage time as possible but somehow spread the pain across different parts of the body so that we don’t loose the 6? Oh we did just that….

The THANG

Disclaimer given right at the start

Long-ish Mosey into nearly complete darkness and the basis for the theme of this workout. 35 degrees out this AM and figured being under what I assumed were heat lamps would help with the mental. It didn’t….

Made it to the first light out in front of the middle school closest to Cuthbertson Road. I attempted thought about lining everyone up bootcamp style but instead were just a mess of dudes. Regardless I wanted to try something other than circling up. So we warmed up at each light until we got passed Moneyball Mountain (12 lights):

  1. 20 x SSHs IC
  2. 20 x Mountain Climbers IC
  3. 20 x Merkins CC
  4. 20 x Squats CC
  5. 20 x LBCs IC
  6. 20 x Potato Pickers IC
  7. 20 x Peter Parkers IC
  8. 20 x Heels to Heaven IC
  9. 20 x Parker Peters IC
  10. 20 x Carolina Drydocks CC
  11. 20 x Paula Abdul’s IC
  12. Leg Stretch

Small Lot = The Burpee Loop (7 lights)

  • 1st Light, 1 Burpee
  • 2nd Light, 2 Burpees
  • 3rd Light, 3 Burpees
  • 4th Light, 4 Burpees
  • 5th Light, 3 Burpees
  • 6th Light, 2 Burpees
  • 7th Light, 1 Burpee

Speedskater Strip (5 Lights) – get deep & touch the ground like you mean it

Massive Lot – (18 lights)

  • 1st 8 lights: 10 Imperial Walkers for every light, stop at the top
  • Next 10 lights: 10 merkins, 2 squats, 8 merkins, 4 squats, 6 merkins, 6 squats, etc, etc. We got a little confused here after literally all of the workout so far had been done with 1 exercise per light but the train fell off the tracks for a few of us here. We recovered. Let’s mosey.

8 pack bridge (8 lights) aka “my elbows hurt”

  1. 30 second side plank
  2. 30 second side plank
  3. 30 second elbow plank
  4. 20 x LBCs IC
  5. 30 second side plank
  6. 30 second side plank
  7. 30 second elbow plank
  8. 20 x LBCs IC

Tennis Courts (3 lights)

  • 10 x Bobby Hurley’s per light

Beltway Home (6 lights)

  • Quickly modified due to time, 5 squat jumps per light

Made it back probably 60-90 seconds late, my bad. COT & thanks to Damascus for taking us out!

Moleskin:

It was a great workout in my mind. Other than arriving a bit late to the finish all of it pretty much went as planned. The two highlights for me was when Tupperware’s little baby skin elbows were in such pain he needed to take his shirt off to act as an elbow pad? Stop it. Its freezing outside. The next memory was moseying towards Transporter’s Poopoo Palace shed and Posse shared some thoughts on our distance when compared to the amount of time left. I barked at him since I thought I knew what I was doing but he was in fact was right. A public apology was given at 6:45AM. I was hoping and had planned for 71 lights but feel good about getting to 59 street lights!

I appreciate my second opportunity to lead you fine gentlemen and thoroughly enjoy the fear each of you showed up with this morning knowing I might start doing aerobics at any minute. I don’t think we did any 80s-style aerobics but we did keep our heartbeats rolling for the full 45 minutes. Only one time did we wait on the 6 after 8 pack bridge which was my goal.

I will continue to improve with the support and push of each of you. If you have ideas, let me know as long as your name is not Keith or Lou.

Lastly, zero thanks to anyone from Briarcrest today as all 10+ members bailed on me this morning. I hope each of you gets a flat in the near future. Post picture on GroupMe please.

ANNOUNCEMENTS: 

  • Lotions & Bone Frogs
  • Welcome our newest FNG who was named given the name High Life, I’m noticing a trend for those from CO. Thanks for joining us this morning First Name Clifton and I will make sure to get your first name next time! Great work recruiting Damascus.
  • Posse announced the Crane Relay, still opportunities to sign up and/or volunteer this coming weekend. Starting Friday night at 9pm through Saturday.
  • Bottlecap is starting a Thursday night running group with pain stations. It will start at Food Lion parking lot @630pm followed by a beer afterwards. If this becomes a permanent spot it will be referred to as “Clyent Dinner”.
  • WUC F3 Initial Stock Offering aka $1.6B Mega Millions Lottery Pool is running now through tomorrow, Tuesday at noon! A minimum $2 a share buy-in and no maximum contribution. All details posted in News Channel and The Playground.

Gear Workout…We Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Gear

15 PAX joined me to help take my V-card and boy was it  better than I ever dreamed of expected. The weather wasn’t optimal for this special day but I focused on what everyone wanted, to focus on my personal problem areas. I kindly warned my followers that I would almost exclusively be focusing on my chaffing thighs and the fatty areas around my torso love handles. I also let the position of leading go to my head and threw in exercises I knew a few men would be uncomfortable doing but real happy to use these moves as fuel to the GroupMe conversations. Like moths to a flame…

We moseyed over to a parking lot behind 5 Stones Church that I didn’t know existed. Q Juice was coursing through my veins by this point and I attempted to deliver the disclaimer while already out of breathe…

20 x SSHs IC, 20 x Potato Pickers IC, 20 x Hill Climbers IC, 20 x Peter Parkers IC and 20 x Parker Peters IC

The THANG

Having no idea how many guys would come out to support me, planning a gear workout was a little difficult. I called the audible and ignored all of the Site Q’s wishes.. the gear would be our physical bodies….??

Mosey to Entryway and back to the first light, Partner Up and grab a lifting rock, Lunges with rock overhead to Next Light and pass rock to partner, same Lunges to Next Light and place rocks down, run backwards to the 3rd Light and switch to Backwards lunges to the 4th light, Mosey back to rocks, Lunges again to the 2nd light with partner, switch rocks with partner and continue to lunge to the 1st light and return rocks. The quads are a burning by this point…

Then came the real highlight of the day. Mosey around Chiseled Mountain and circle up. I didn’t say it but looking back I wish I said, “lets get wet, Jane Fonda style!” At this point it was time to forget about our legs and focus on our Core. 30 Second Plank on elbows, 30 second side plank  and while we are on our sides how about 30 x side kicks CC. Its at this point the giggling started and references to aerobics began. The mumble chatter quieted down after we got past 20 as that 1980s burn started. Switch sides, 30 second side plank, 30 x side kicks civilian count and giggling continues. Most of our moms would be proud and some would be embarrassed. Next, lets lay on the ground and it time for 30 x Heals to Heaven IC, 5 second break and we moved onto Protractor, with a twist. Each PAX yelled out a degree, we held it for 3 seconds, then the next PAX yelled out a degree until we made it “around the horn”. Lots of groaning as some of the (Rs) forgot how the game worked. I won’t name names (it was Rubbermaid). Short break, followed by 30 x Alternate Heel Touchers IC (or whatever they are called). Next I tested the good ol’ parenting question of “if your friends jumped off of a bridge, would you?” OH BOY DID THEY!! 30 x Pelvic Thrusts CC while Deadwood just stopped like a dear in headlights watching his fellow bros crush it into the sky. Again, some laughter and by the time we pass 20 count the burn hits the buns and everyone begins to think “could it be…. aerobics is like a legit, real workout?!!?” Everyone is as soggy can be by this point and its time for the last round of 30 second side plank with 20 x LBCs IC in between switching sides. Everyone gets up to see their moisture wicking clothes have now absorbed the puddles they were laying in….

Mosey to steps, Split into three groups, Station 1: 20 x deep slow squats, Station 2: 10 calf raises per step, Station 3: 20 x jump squats, Mosey around island, complete this twice.

Mosey over by the loading dock to the first light to prepare everyone to become the best backup dancers in history. I start by confusing the PAX with the wrong exercise at first but regain my breathe composure and on the 2nd try I nailed it. 10 x Imperial Walker 1st Light, 10 x Paula Abduls 2nd Light and 20 x Speed Skaters 3rd Light. Moneyball would have been proud. Repeat at the next 3 lights.

Partner Up, One partner takes a lap around Mount Chiseled while other partner holds a deep plunging Al Gore, switch and repeat. Time has now expired back to start for COT.

Moleskin:

I couldn’t have been prouder to lead you group of fine men this morning. Since joining 18 weeks ago I was feeling apprehensive about eventually being pressured asked to host. And leading up to this morning I was pretty nervous, which is a funny feeling at age 37. I think it says a lot about how much respect I have for most all of you showing up and each giving your all. My experience so far at F3 has been humbling and has pushed me out of my comfort zones not only at workouts but in my personal life. I’m being sappy but I wanted to share.

All that said, I look forward to Qing again and attempting to destroy very specific parts of my problem areas, whether you like it or not .

Thank you Recalculating for taking us out!

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

  • Bone Fro….NOPE
  • Levine’s Children’s Hospital 5k this weekend, contact Fuse Box or myself if you want to join
  • Dancing Bear is collecting bathroom supplies from your hotel stays
  • Hollywood is on Q @ The Floater and Tuck is on Q @ Pursuit tomorrow