Author Archive Udder

Committing burpicide

10 uninformed pax found themselves in a pickle when they arrived and YHC was the replacement Q. What would we do with 45 precious minutes of pain? YHC had the plan and with no FNGs we set off… to the very next parking spot.


SSH x 15 IC. Mosey to end of lot. IW x 15 IC. Mosey to next lot. Merkins x 15 IC. Mosey to end of lot. Squat x 15 IC. Mosey to next lot. LBC x 15 IC. There were some mild groans from the sisterhood of the traveling COP but YHC was used to this group. Mosey around outer driveway to 51 entrance. No one bit it on a speed hump.

The thang part 1

partner up x 3. Partners 1 and 2 head to opposite ends of lot. P3 runs to relieve. Flapjack and repeato till finished with all exercises. On each end of lot – 100 Merkins, 200 Squats and 300 LBC. Totaling 200, 400 and 600 for the partner trio.

Thang part 2

Mosey over to parking lot beside 51 and YHC laid out the Burpicide. Increasing burpees every island. 8 islands equal 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 burpees. Suicide back each island but, stop at each island and perform that islands number. Which means 1,2,1,2,3,2,1,2,3,4,3,2,1,2,3,4,5… to 8. #crowdpleaser. YHC had only planned 10 mins for this and that’s all that was needed to yield an all out rebellion. I think McGee got to 6.

fully smoked we mosey around back to the launch for some Mary. Everyone called an exercise then with 2 mins left we head to end of the lot. 5 burpees and all you got to the start.


NMM: This has been in the draft bin for 4 days now. That’s my bad. Had a few individuals in mind with the burpicide and they must have had burning ears cause they didn’t show. Oh well, the pax present recieved the punishment for allowing YHC to lead. You’re welcome. McGee and Lorax were out front. Surprise surprise. I did manage to quiet the mumblechatter quite quickly. #myworkhereisdone All that said everyone accepted the challenge and threw down all they had. Great job.

On a side note we did have a medical moment. This serves as a constant reminder that we need to stay vigilant to our pax needs and be ready to act. Site Q’s are strongly advised to keep a phone on them if going far away from the launch. Also if you do have any condition or begin to feel “off” speak up and let fellow pax know. Safety first

Announcements: the Memorial Day convergence already happened.

Patriot 5k Monday with convergence before during and after. This is an experience for sure. Check it out. (Also was YHC first post 5 years ago)

Link for pax emergency info. Fill it out.

Catch Me If You Can Mile

11 individuals of the ex-sad clown persuasion descended upon a moist SCMS campus for today’s edition of Base Camp. YHC has not been out to the AO in quite some time and I was excited to try out the new track surface. So with no FNGs and an abbreviated Disclaimer we mosey.

Short lap around the parking lot incase anyone came flying in on two wheels. With no Lifos in attendance, we headed down to the track. Upon arrival YHC was pleasantly surprised with it’s resurfacing. I think this is the second time it has been resurfaced in F3’s existence. We must really beat it up.

COP In Cadence
SSH x 20
IW x 20
Merkin x 10
Mtn Climber x 10
Low Slow Squat x 20

The Thang – Catch Me if You Can (the mile edition)
Partner up size/speed does not matter. But if you feel it does, go for it.

Lap 1 – P1 does 10 LBCs then run and catch P2, P2 does Backward run. FlapJack and repeato all the way around the track. Plank while waiting on the Six
Lap 2 – P1 does 5 CDDs then run and catch P2, P2 does Side step run facing inside of track. FlapJack and repeato all the way around the track. Reverse plank while waiting on the Six
Lap 3 – P1 does 10 Lunges then run and catch P2, P2does Side step run facing outside of track. FlapJack and repeato all the way around the track. Plank while waiting on the Six
Lap 4 – P1 does 10 Merkins then run and catch P2, P2 does Regular run (yogging). FlapJack and repeato all the way around the track. Plank while waiting on the Six

Quick 10-count to catch some breath and head on up to Semi-Gloss’s office. (Simba has taken up residency there as well) Mosey up the hill and detour down towards the ball fields just so we can get a quick 2-at-a-time stair climb.

People’s Chair. Arm raises x 40 and a deep burn for round one.
Donkey Kicks x 20
PC round 2, Arm raises x 20 and a 30 sec deep burn provided by an excruciatingly slow 10 count from Goonie
Ascending Testicles – Failed

Circle it up under the beautiful sunrise and we partook in some crowdsourced Mary. Everyone called an exercise x 10 IC. It was glorious!

Question, Concrete or Grass?


So we found some and finished it out with our ole pal Jack Webb and his cousin Jerk Webb. Jack to 5 and Jerk back down. (Jerk Webb is shoulder taps while in merkin position) #Crowdpleaser

Ye Ole MoleSkinny: A few notes from this morning. Again, the track is great. YHC’s LSS cadence is fast according to Goonie. Goonie hates 10 counts. Simba hates lunges. Everyone hates Side Step for an entire lap. Two laps, since we need to balance our bulging right calf. Catch me if you can is sneaky hard when you do it consistently for a mile. Note to self – CMIYC 5K would be epic. (Coming soon) We got a preview of the summers humidity. One word, MOIST, just like the Pete Schweaty family recipe balls. That feeling of swimming through the air is unpleasant. Donkey Kicks and Merkins on a slippery wall are hard. Goonie loves 10-counts again. We all dislike Goonie for loving 10-counts again. There are at least 11 types of Mary. Hourglass is one such Mary and she sucks in cadence. Jerk Webb is a meaner version of Jack Webb. (I’m sure it has a diff name. I just like Jerk Webb) Great job to everyone and thanks for putting up with my shenanigans.

Announcements: Next week – Marvel has the Q
Keep your eye out for Memorial Day Convergence, most likely to be held at Base Camp. (cause it’s the best camp boiiiiiii)

Pastor Simba on the BOM.

Udder out

Exicon Execution

This backblast brought to you by my feet, cause I can’t lift my arms to type. Seriously though, shoulder, chest and arms smoker. Glad I can still deliver.

Disclaimed, mosey out lot and turn left. Toolbag about fell out. I guess he’s not an ambi-turner. Run out to Walsh and turn into back parking lot behind football field.

COP. BLIMPS. 5 Burpees, 10 Lunges (each side), 15 Imperial Walkers, 20 Merkins (shades of things to come), 25 Plank jacks, 30 Squats. BAM!!

Mosey around football field and to far stairwell of parking deck.

The thang. Contra Burpee ladder up stairs. 1 Burpee on level 1. 2 Burpees w/2 Merkins while down on level 2. 3/3 on level 3. Run to next stairwell. Do the same down 3, 2, 1. Run to next stairwell. Ladder up. Plank on the six.

For those counting at home that’s 68 Merkins thus far.

Blackjack AFAP. A little known or used exercise routine. Start on one side of parking deck (short way) do 1 Merkin, run to other side, 20 LBC. Adds to 21 = Blackjack. Get it? Good now really get it. 2/19, 3/18… This was a crowd pleaser and the only sounds heard were the groans of Merkins upon Merkins upon Merkins. People’s chair to recover for the six.

278 Merkins

Mosey to CCHS front door.

Bear crawl 1,2,3. Partner up. P1 does bear crawl up ramp. P2 starts chipping away at the 1,2,3. 100 Merkins, 200 Squats, 300 LBC. Flapjack. Repeato till 0600 hours. Many apologies for the 200/300 LBC/Squat screwup.

320ish Merkins

Mosey to launch

Six Minutes of Mary. 10x IC Dolly, Flutter, High Flutter, Heels2Heaven, LBC, American Hammer

Moleskinny: Been a few weeks since I have been out to Centurion. That’s my bad. A few pax came in on 2 wheels. Few new faces out there as well. As mentioned above Toolbag was completely taken aback when we turned left on little ave. Who knew he was that easily startled. A bit of an unorthodox COP. Done in a row across or abreast as some would say. Gotta be loud for the ends. Utah thought I was calling “ouch” not “out” for plankjacks. Glad your concerned for me friend but you might want to turn up the hearing aide. We took the long way to the stairwell noticing the stadium sign was nursing a broken letter R. Get on that Chelms. Contra burpees are a very contrarian exercise as noted by Ickey. 😘 blackjack routine is just downright disheartening. Checkpoint is still the king of Merkins. Things got tough around round 15. There was laboring going on during this one. Heard some serious grunts. You’re welcome. Cheddar and toolbag raced to the end. Chunder was a new face and lamented the bear crawl 1,2,3. He even asked about shortening it. Stone face was received and we plodded on. Truly blessed to be able to share time with all these HIMs.

Announcements: Check in with speed for need Scabby or Jrr Tolkien as they need some track commanders for upcoming races.

Prayers for the palmers as jennings and big sis prepare for a bone marrow transplant.

The stand at Panera. Studying Mark. If you don’t have a regular 3rd F. Get one.

Poo Poo Parking Deck

7 men stood in the gloom awaiting instruction from YHC. Disclaimed and ready to go we drop and get 5 Burpees out of the way. Frehleys was not impressed. Wasn’t the first time, won’t be the last. Follow me.

Winding our way up colnan and down to bally med rd out to the light on BCP. Cross the street and up to Bally village parking deck. YHC anticipated precipitation but the only thing that soaked us was a heavy fog of the gloom and our perspiration. Stop in lot next to deck and circle up.

COP – IC x 15 SSH, IW, Mtn Climber, Merkin, Low Slow Squat.

Mosey over to level 1 and partner up. Glad to have even numbers.

The Thang

P1 does called exercise, P2 runs up a level, finds stairs and descends to relieve partner. Flapjack. Repeato but go 2 levels. YHC can’t count and we descend to basement for final ascent. Repeato up 3 levels.

Wall sit to catch up the six and our breathe.

Reverso. P1 climbs stairs one level and descends to relieve P2. Flapjack. Repeato 2 levels then 3 levels.

Called exercises included lunges, lbc, plankorama, monkey humpers, reverse plankorama, rosalita and something else

Wall sit some more then head back to launch.

Find the brick wall on colnan and hang for 30 secs then jail break up hill and down to launch lot.


NMM: P200 taper, the hawk and rain aversion are a few contributing factors to low attendance. But we still took the DRP and got to it. Frehleys always has something to say. Wouldn’t have it any other way. Tag along is quick. Don’t sleep on that guy. The parking deck is just nasty. Smells like a hippie commune. The stairwells resemble the aftermath of a nickelback concert. Vomit and poo everywhere. I think people might board their dogs there during the day. #justnasty

Happy to facilitate a Q in SOBland. Tks tag for letting me take the reigns.


22 total combined Bagpipe/Swift

P200 this weekend. Praying for everyone’s safety and health throughout.

Davinci was smack talking Stonehenge. I’ll let y’all figure what’s open this weekend.

YHC on the BOM

Small town ‘Merica

This weeks edition of The Big House was predicted to be low on numbers. Pvt Ben away at the beach, DumpsterFire with a child sized DF at home this morning and of course… the Dreaded Rain. Luckily, Tool bag was fool enough to come and meet me for today’s DRP. It’s always better with Cheddar. Unless it isn’t. More on that later. YHC had a brief thought to knock on The Big House door and invite some of Pineville’s finest to come join us, but then I remembered they have tasers. With that, Tool bag and YHC launch.

Heading the northerly direction out to 51 we turned right to observe the glory of small town ‘Merica, at 5:30 am. Passing by the old brick shops of Main St. reminded TB and I of times past. We reminisced about our upbringings and enjoyed some 2nd F as we continued up to Lancaster HWY. Turning right we proceeded to Pineville Elementary and onto Lowry St. where YHC yammered on about the new ball fields and the PCSA. Turning right on Johnston Dr. we observed the new construction invading and decided to take a closer look. Turn left on Meyer Ln where we could tell nothing more of what this large, scraped swath of land would become and we headed back to Jack Hughs. Ding ding goes the mile on our watches and we were well on our way to TBH’s 2 mile distance suggestion. Passing the cars we saw a third car that suspiciously looked like Cheddars civic. So we did what any normal F3’er would do and began shouting his name on our way to the Field House in Jack Hughs. 1.5 miles down and nary a cadence count uttered we parked it up to enjoy the classic COP. (all while yelling for Cheddar)

COP – IC x 15
Mtn Climbers
Low Slow Squats

Still no sign of Cheddar so quick decision Ace Ventura style and we took off back up to TBH to find our wayward companion. Upon arrival we found no Cheddar, no Civic and no message in a bottle. Was it even him? A ghost? Or possibly a prisoner transfer/pickup, since that is where we park. We may never know. But really we do, cause Strava. Thanks technology. Mosey on back to Field House for The Thang.

YHC is starting to play some Ultimate again and I took this opportunity to put in some mobility and speed exercises. You could also pretend like I thought of this as some basketball training workout with March Madness upon us, but that wouldn’t be true. I’m selfish.

Three sets of cones marked out the drills. Grab a partner and do-si-do. Wait no.

Set 1 – 2 cones 5′ apart gets you the Skater hop. Jump step side to side with your outside foot landing at the cone.
Set 2 – 2 cones 20′ apart for Shuffles. Shuffle step side to side and touching the cone with your inside hand.
Set3 – 3 cones 40’ split for Shuttle runs (suicides). Run to middle cone, back to start, run to far cone, back to start, repeato.

Partner 1 does exercise, Partner 2 runs the recovery lap around the planters (.2 mile maybe)

Blasting through one set faster than I anticipated we grabbed the jump rope and got a round in. P1 jump ropes, P2 does LBC IC x 20 as timer. Flapjack.

Smoked legs rewarded us a break and we held up the wall for a min.

Over to the rock pile to retrieve a man sized, with a nice flat side, rock. Busted Paw Bear Crawls w/rock. P1 Bear Crawls and pushes rock 15 yards (3 parking spaces) then picks up rock and runs it back to P2, who is planking. Flapjack. Round 2 we did Backwards Bear Crawl with rock pull. Place rock back gently and back to the Field House for Mary.

Six Minutes of Mary IC x 15
Flutter (which TB thinks is Dolly)
Freddie Mercury
‘Merican Hammer

Grab the stuff and hustle back to launch. 3.06 miles for the Stravas. May be a TBH run distance record.


Where two or more gather… F3 is built on Fellowship and Accountability. Even when there are just two of you out there we still bring our A game. Tks TB for keeping me honest. Sorry Cheddar, you need to be on time. 😉 The Big House may be on the outskirts but it has amazing potential as an AO. EH a friend, a coworker, neighbor and lets get the machine cranking again. Thanks DF and PVT B  for the invite. DF, I hope your 2.0 feels better. We’re almost out of this cold and flu season.

Richard Sheltra Memorial 5K – 4/28 Speed For Need will be pushing. Contact Dumpster Fire.
F3 Dads CLT Checkers Hockey Night – This Sunday (St. Patricks punch your lights out hockey game) Fraiser on Q?

Dare to be stupid

5 formidable fellows emerged from the shadows in order to take the DRP and start off the day a HIM. After some quick chatter about the layers we adorned we got to it. Here’s this weeks episode of The Brave.

SSH x 20 IC
Mile mosey to bottom of BCP hill off Rushmore dr.

The Thang
1 mile ladder up and down BCP, Partner work was a fail as we were short on numbers, so heres the dilly, yo.

4 stops on the way up and down BCP to Lancaster HWY. Every driveway you do some work and finish at the top and bottom of BCP.

Going up, Stop 1 = 10 x exercise. 2 = 20 x. 3 = 30 x. 4 = 40 x. Going down, same stops and same number of reps. (40, 30, 20, 10 at bottom)


Exercises were taken from pax fav poll YHC submitted the day before on slack. (civilian count) Jump Squat, Merkin

6:05 came near and we cut out back to launch. Quick audible as we need to get our pull-ups in and we hauled what butt we had left to pull-up bars near Loch Ness. With 10 pull-ups complete we have a few mins to visit with Mary. LBC x 20 IC, Dolly x 19 IC (Q-fail)

Head up the trail back to launch and done.

It was a frozen tundra for sure this morning. YHC was encouraged that the pax came out to share in the pain. After some observations about our excessive garb, not used to this much clothes while working out, and a lack of facial hair to share frozen beard photos on Insta-machine we got to work. Goal being not stopping long enough to get cold. BCP (Ballantyne Commons Parkway) is a nice 1/2 mile long segment to get some solid work in on. The driveways are approximately 200 meters apart and make for a decent break from the climbs. Mario was out front and crushing Jump Squats. Nard, Fallout, Fire Hazard and YHC traded places consistently. Lap number two was a bit of a #soulcrusher as the increase in Merkins are a challenge. Small sets of 10, then 5 and some 4 counts were the norm to get to the 40, 30 and even 20 counts on the decent down. Our last set of 10 at the start we did Derkins on the guide rail. #watchyoteeth #armfailure 6:05 was the cut-off for mile repeats and we took it on back to the house.

SKEEEERRRRTTTTT! wait a tick, I still have pull-ups to do. Where is the closest pull-up bar? Mario led the way across campus so we could get our daily regiment in. Tks _General

Overall, Strong effort out there from the pax. I’m gonna keep this one in my back pocket for another lead in the warmer part of the year. That way I can watch all the speedsters lap me up and down the hill.

Joe Davis is tomorrow!! There is still time to sign up or you can donate and fart sack.

Converge Stonehenge @ daVinci tmrw

Prayers for Bout-time clan and toddler son Jennings who is going thru chemo – 24/7 prayer sign up genius.

Prayers for the fam of Ava Malesiewski – Speed for Need track captain @ CLT Marathon. She passed away due to her illness. But her family was so impacted by the organization and it’s mission they can’t wait to see what SFN has in store for 2018. A chair will be run for her empty @ Joe Davis tmrw.

Go out today and be a better man than you were yesterday. Udder out

RockZero resolutions

YHC arrived a little early to spread the “love” around the Calvary campus. As I frolicked around the AO 15 of A51’s pax were assembled and had gifts of their own. A last min prep trip had YHC coming in hot. With an abbreviated disclaimer and a fast shoe adjustment we got moving.

Out entrance 4 across rea rd, with caution, up to the library. Plank while we wait for the six. Circle it up.

COP incadence

SSH, IW, Merkin, Mtn Climber and Squat all times 15. YHC’s cadence count was called into question during squats and was a topic of conversation throughout this episode of RockZero. The mumblechatter was significant until Merkins quieted the crowd down. I’ll let y’all guess who might have been disturbing the peace. YHC did take some pleasure in hearing the heavy breathing over flapping lips. #itsthelittlethings

Move out with a fast mosey up 51 to entrance 1.

Thang #1 – soccer field hill
Ruck it to me Baby
4 Rucks + 16 Pax = 4 lines of 4 (who knew we did maths)
Pax exercise @ bottom of hill – CDD, Lbc, Squat
P2 – bear crawl hill, crab walk hill, duck walk flat

grab all the gear and head across the road.

Thang #2 – Tabata Station on the Beast Parking Lot – divide up between all stations and go till everyone in the Firehose line has gone
#1 Fire Hose – drag 50yd – plank while wait
#2 KB – Swings till it falls off
#3 Ruck work – Flutter Kick/LBC ruck over head

Grab all the gear and head to the basketball goals.

Thang #3 – Plate Party 4 lines and go
Hair burner out/back 20yd – Squat while waiting
Inch worm 20yd – LBC while waiting

(in retrospect we should have done the squats and lbcs with weight overhead)

grab all the gear and mosey to the start.

Thang #4 – Pick up your toys
Leave all the gear at one end of the start lot. About 50yd away. Plank up and AYG to gear grab it all and hustle it back to start.

Few mins left we practiced some more cadence count with Mary. 8:00am = done

ye day old moleskinny – YHC may have taughted this as the years hardest, or heaviest workout of 2017. Some questioned its difficulty and crushing weight, but it weighed in at roughly 600lbs and we traveled just about a mile with it all. (There was still 200-300lbs of gear left at the start, YHC had a poor plan for the delivery system but that’s knowledge for next time) Much lamenting was done as some exercises were questionable. Choking crab walks, trippy firehose drags and uninitiated inch worms were just a few things the pax had the pleasure of enduring. The chatter started early and culminated with a riveting discussion on star wars wherein spoilers were revealed for Rachel. Tks McGee. Top it all off with an Alf solo during Mary that left everyone feeling the belly burn from laughter and we had a wrap on 2017.

on a serious note: it is a pleasure to sweat and toil with all the fine members of our F3 pax. I learn something new every post and hope that everyone takes away at least one positive thing. This group has enabled us to do great things within our community and at home. Take that positive energy into 2018 and help us to make it another amazing year in Fitness, Fellowship and Faith. As always, I am privileged to lead you fine gentlemen.


  • Joe Davis run for recovery next sat
  • Basecamp New Year’s Day convergence
  • Flipper is working with Calvary to install some pullbars. Taking donations from Pax. Could be a great Eagle Scout opp as well

Preblast: Your last post of 2017 – RockZero

SCREW RESOLUTIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alright PAX, is this your last or first chance to post “The ROCK-ZERO” and throw down on what may go down as the heaviest workout of 2017? Heck, you may be feeling really squirrelly and go to the StoneHenge 5yr anniversary, say hello to Dolphin and then come Double Down with us at Calvary. Maybe you’ll bring an FNG or get your Kotters-arse out of the FS and pick things up and put them down with us at 7am in the 30 degree heat. Either way the ball of snakes takes you, you can be assured of a fantastic beatdown on the last official day of the year to post an F3 workout.

If you chose the Red Pill and find yourself at RockZero, there are some things that YHC will be very grateful if you bring.

  1. A Ruck with some challenge weight. (25lb min)
  2. A kettlebell. Any size you are not ashamed to bring out.
  3. Weight Plates. 45lb, 35lb and 25lb acceptable

If you think you know what is in store for you, think again. In fact, don’t even think about it…





Build a burpee workshop

27 eager beavers decided to get after it this morning in the balmy 31 degrees. No matter what the season, NC always stays humid. With 2 FNGs, who attended the pre-run I might add, a brief disclaimer and some light mumblechatter about it being cold (Swiper needs body fat) we began.

10 Burpees OYO
Centurion Mile with 6 pain stations (IC x 10)
SSH (Hospice)
IW (Walgreens)
Plank Jack (Wells Fargo)
Mtn Climbers (BoneFish)
Lunges (Aqua center)
Monkey Humpers (Tartarus level 1)

Now that everyone is thoroughly warmed up we can begin the Build-a-Burpee workshop. Basically we deconstruct the movements of the burpee in order to work on some form. It’s an easy way to get smoked.

The Thang (Tartarus)
Using the entire length of the parking deck.
Round 1
10 Jump squats (bottom)
10 Groiners (middle)
10 Merkins (top)
Run to bottom
10 Burpees OYO
AYG to top and back to bottom
Then run to top and plank
Round 2 (Reverse)
AYG to bottom and back to top
10 Burpees OYO
10 Merkins (top)
10 Groiners (middle)
10 Jump squats (bottom)
Peoples chair. Mosey to stairs
AMRAP – 5 mins – Partners
P1 runs to far end stairs, up across and down to P2
P2 Burpees (try for 25)
Swiper and Co. lead some mary for all our early finishers (extra credit)

Filler work: (as identified by Purple Haze) Mosey to the farthest staircase and proceeded to ascend and descend at AYG pace. Do all 3 sets and plank on the six.

Mosey to start
LBC, Flutter, Dolly

That’s time. Thanks folks and don’t forget to tip your waiter.


Moleskinny: Def a few days later than expected and after a thorough review of the voice memo we struggled with oxygen to think and FNG name. The plan was simple, get a solid warm up in the newly found cold temperatures and then hit it hard with the pax most trusted exercise, The Burpee. Adding in the hill from parking deck ramps can really pump up the heart rate and thus ensure a solid burn. Thanks to all for letting me lead. T-claps to our newest comrades Boo Boo and Paw Patrol. They came, ill advised, with Fire Hazard and even did a 1.5 mile prerun with Margo and YHC. I think FH is looking to bump Madame T as all time FNG leader in 2017. Good work!!


Attending an XMAS party? Sign up and pay. Make the 2nd F Q’s lives easy and don’t let them guess at how many they need to accommodate.

A51 – Area 51 Christmas Party 2017!

SOB – 2017 SOB Holiday Party Pre-blast

There are many opportunities to give back, COTS (see Strawberry), Shop with a Cop, Youth Villages (see Scratch n Win)

Turkey Dash at Robinson Farms in Ballantyne (Thanksgiving Morning)

NO CENTURION 11/24/17!!!!!!!

Stay home with your Mother-in-Law or go find another place to sweat.

Runny donuts

We came. We saw. We ran. It was humid. We had 🍩🍩. That is all.

Naked man Moleskin: It was nice to get out and see some new faces this morning. Thanks for letting me lead from behind.


F3 golf 10/27

Southern discomfort tour 10/21