Author Archive Tuck

PreBlast: Deck the Ha11s 2023

It’s time for the official start of the holiday season, Deck the Halls!  An event that is great on so many levels.

What is Deck the Halls?  As my friend Midriff once said, “we continue the time-honored SOB tradition of gracefully scaling each parking deck and collectively holding our breath that security won’t foil our visions of grandeur.”  Here are the basic ingredients:

  1. Launch from the Brave
  2. Run to the top of a parking deck via the ramps
  3. Performa a few called exercises at the top
  4. Run down the stairs
  5. Run to the next deck and rinse and repeat

We started with 7 decks in 2015 and have added more over the years as Ballantyne has developed.  Last year we conquered 11 decks, and will repeat that plan (in a different order) this year.  There are no new decks to add for this year, but rest assured there will be next year when some of the current construction projects are completed.

  • Deck Run 2015 – 11/20/15 – 7 decks
  • Deck Run 2017 – 6/9/17 – 8 decks
  • Deck Run 2018 – 10/19/18 – 5.5 decks for most (foiled by security), 8 decks for Kirby, Paper Jam, Mighty Mite
  • Deck Run 2019 – 10/18/19 – 8 decks
  • Deck the Halls 2020 – 12/4/20 – 9 decks
  • Deck the Halls 2021 – “The Deckathalon” – 12/17/21 – 10 decks
  • Deck the Ha11s 2022 – 12/11/22 – 11 decks
  • Deck the Ha11s 2023 – 12/15/23 – 11 decks

Friday, December 15th is when we’ll be taking our tour of Olde Decklenburg.  The event will be split into 3 stages, each launching from The Brave (11318 N Community House Rd #200, Charlotte, NC 28277).  Feel free to start with stage 1 OR stage 2.  It all depends on how much deck you think you can handle.

Stage 1:

Stage 2:

Stage 3:

  • Cookies and coffee.  Coffee will be provided.  This part is critical: Bring homemade cookies to share.
  • 6:30AM

PreBlast: 2023 Mile Time Trial Final Details

8 weeks of blood, (a lot of) sweat and tears are in the books.  Congrats to the pax that made it through 2 workouts per week going all the way back to March.  The only thing left to do is lace up and line up this Saturday and give it all you have.  It WILL hurt, but it WILL be quick (quicker than if had you not done the training).  No matter the result, take pride in the work you put in from week 1 all the way up to the finish line.  It’s about the journey, not the destination.  That being said I am sure we will see some PR’s out there and I can’t wait to see it happen live.

What: 2023 Mile Time Trial

Where: Community House Middle School track

When: Saturday, May 20, 2023, 6AM

Schedule of Events:

  1. 0600: Arrival
  2. 0605-0615: EZ warm-up laps
  3. 0615-0625: Dynamic stretching and strides
  4. 0630: Mile time trial (we may have 2 heats)
  5. 0650: Optional 5 mi post-run led by Paper Jam (“Reverse PJ route“)
  6. 0735: More miles if anyone is up for it

PreBlast: 2023 Mile Time Trial Collab

Several of your favorite F3 running workouts throughout the South Charlotte and Waxhaw area have done what they said couldn’t be done.  They have coordinated on something.

Starting on Tuesday, March 28, we will collectively embark on an 8-week training program designed to produce your fastest mile.  It’s time to set the bar for yourself for 2023.

There will be two workouts per week for eight weeks, culminating in a mile time trial at the Community House Middle School track on Saturday, May 20th @ 0600. WXW Express and Swift will host the Tuesday workout each week, and Pursuit and Sparta will host the Thursday workout.  Fast Twitch and Devil’s Turn are a maybe depending on the mood and who’s on Q.  Did you expect anything less?

Fill out this Google Form (link) to register and hold yourself and your F3 brothers accountable (registration not required).  Here is the Google Sheet with responses for  your viewing pleasure (link).

The plan is based on Nike Run Club’s “Find Your Fast” 8-week training program.  We did this plan at Swift two years ago and many PR’s were achieved, including YHC’s.  The plan is on a Google Sheet (link) so that you can save your own version and track your progress and/or make edits if you’d like.  Here are the two weekly workouts:

  • Week 1:
    1. Tue, Mar 28: 8 x 400m @ goal mi pace w/ 60 sec recovery.  Average the 8 intervals for a proxy of your current mile fitness.
    2. Thurs, Mar 30: 2.5 mi tempo run
  • Week 2:
    1. Tue, Apr 4: 200m x 3 going from 10k pace to 5k pace to goal mi pace w/ 60 sec recovery. Repeat 5 times (15 total intervals). Note: rest 120 sec after 10th 200m
    2. Thurs, Apr 6: Fartlek Run: 1 min, 2 min, 3 min, 2 min, 1 min, 1 min @ 5k pace w/ equal recovery
  • Week 3:
    1. Tue, Apr 11: 1,000m @ 10k pace, 500m @ 5k pace, 500m @ 5k pace, 200m @ goal mi pace, 400m @ 5k pace, 200m @ goal mi pace w/ 90 sec recovery
    2. Thurs, Apr 13: 1,000m @ 10k pace, 1,000m @ 5k pace, 1,000m @ 10k pace w/ 90 sec recovery
  • Week 4:
    1. Tue, Apr 18: Hill Repeats: 1 min @ 10k pace, 1 min @ 5k pace, 1 min @ goal mi pace w/ recovery jog down hill. Repeat 3 times (9 total intervals).
    2. Thurs, Apr 20: 3 mi tempo run
  • Week 5:
    1. Tue, Apr 25: 200m @ 10k pace, 200m @ 5k pace, 200m @ goal mi pace, 200m @ goal mi pace w/ 60 sec recovery. Repeat 5 times (20 total intervals).
    2. Thurs, Apr 27: Fartlek Run: 1 min, 2 min, 3 min, 4 min, 3 min, 2 min, 1 min @ 5k pace w/ equal recovery
  • Week 6:
    1. Tue, May 2: 200m @ goal mi pace, 800m @ 5k pace, 200m @ goal mi pace, 600m @ 5k pace, 200m @ goal mi pace, 400m @ 5k pace, 200m @ goal mi pace. 120 sec recovery after 200m intervals and 60 sec recovery after other intervals.
    2. Thurs, May 4: 3.5 mi tempo run
  • Week 7:
    1. Tue, May 9: 8 x 400m @ goal mi pace w/ 60 sec recovery.  Average the 8 intervals for a proxy of your current mile fitness.
    2. Thurs, May 11: 1,000m @ 10k pace, 1,000m @ 10k pace, 1,000m @ 5k pace, 1,000m @ 10k pace w/ 90 sec recovery
  • Week 8:
    1. Tue, May 16: 12 x 200m @ goal mi pace w/ 60 sec recovery
    2. Thurs, May 18: 1,000m @ 10k pace, 200m @ goal mi pace, 200m @ goal mi pace w/ 120 sec recovery
    3. Sat, May 20: 1 mi time trial @ Community House Middle School track @ 0600.  2.0’s are welcome to participate.  There will be plenty of warm-up, and multiple race heats if necessary.  There will be a post-run option for those interested.

In weeks one and seven there is a mile simulation workout (8 x 400m) that will help you identify your current mile fitness and give you a good idea of what you should be shooting for at the time trial.

Some of the prescribed workouts may be shorter than what you’re used to at our F3 running workouts.  If you are on Q for any of these workouts, feel free to modify.

It is recommended that you begin each workout with a 1 mile warmup and dynamic stretching, and end with a 1 mile cooldown.  The goal is to PR but also to get to the starting line in one piece.

Find your various training paces by inputting your goal mile pace or a recent race time here: Link.  “Tempo” pace (not shown on website) is your 5k pace + 25-30 seconds.  It is a pace that you would be able to sustain for a full hour of running and should feel “hard, but controlled”.

Double Trouble

DATE: 2023-01-16 AO: Blakovery Q: tuck PAX: retread, bratwurst, Chopper, wingman, tuck, frasier, hairball, Dosey Doe, bunker, midriff FNGs: None COUNT: 10 THE THANG: 5 for the normal 515 run @frasier @hairball @Dosey_Doe @bunker @midriff
5 for holiday hours 6am @retread @bratwurst @Chopper @wingman @tuck

SOB WARS Episode 1: The Stone Chicken #CSAUP

A long time ago in a F3 region far, far away…

SOB WARS

Episode I – The Stone Chicken

This event, the first in a series of SOB #CSAUP’s pitting brother against brother, was designed to settle the long simmering feud between Stonehenge and da Vinci (with a little help from Chicken Run), and to coax PAX out of their comfort zones.   Pax were instructed to wear red if they “identified” with da Vinci and blue for Stonehenge.  Points were assigned to each PAX based on how many components of the #CSAUP they completed.  The workout with the most points received the title of world’s greatest AO and was awarded possession of a brand new SOB artifact that captures the spirit of all things #CSAUP and will be utilized in future events.  Here’s what went down.

Thang

  1. 0500: Launch from PetSmart Blakeney and run to Stonehenge (~5 mi), stopping periodically along the way for Mary to collect the six
  2. 0600: Join in the first 30 minutes of the normally scheduled Stonehenge bootcamp (Cul de Sac on Q, mostly)
  3. 0630: Run back to Blakeney (~4 mi), stopping periodically for Mary to collect the six
  4. 0730: Join in the last 30 minutes of the da Vinci bootcamp (Strange Brew on Q)
  5. Coffeeteria

Moleskin

Online chatter for this event was pretty weak, so YHC was worried we were headed for a repeat of South Mountain.  Expectations were dropping by the day.  But little did YHC know, tons of willing Pax were lurking in the shadows, ready to jump into the fray to help settle the score.  At first it was looking really good for Stonehenge and really BAD for dV.  Tagalong, Happy Meal, Wingman, Gruden and Tolkien were among the first wave of Pax to arrive, and every last one of them for team Stonehenge.  It was nothing but blue shirts in every direction.  Plus Tagalong’s beard.  Was the 5:00 start time just too much to ask of the da Vinci regulars?  Would Stonehenge, the OG, roll over da Vinci like a giant stale bagel?

Slowly but surely, the red tide started to come in.  It started as a trickle with Midriff, Point Break and YHC.  But then the numbers started to pile up.  PJ.  Brexit.  Softie.  HazMat.  Doc.  Chopper.  They CAN wake up early on a Saturday!  As we departed the PetSmart parking lot for the first leg of our journey it was looking pretty good for team dV.  But none of us knew who would be waiting for us at the Stonehenge AO.  Or who would be waiting when we returned to Blakeney.  It was way too early to declare victory in this title fight.

On the way to Stonehenge we made a detour behind Community House Middle School and hopped on the Ballantyne District Park trails for a while.  Because no route designed by YHC can ever be straightforward.  At first War Eagle was confused until YHC explained that the thing we were running on was called a “trail” and the surface we were running on was called “dirt”.  We mingled with some deer, who were non-committal about the whole Stonehenge vs da Vinci thing, and then exited at the Morrison Y and continued on our merry way.  We stopped 4 times on the way for Mary to regroup, with Pax taking turns calling exercises.

Upon arriving at Stonehenge we were greeted by Cul de Sac, Mighty, Frehleys, Billy Goat and Market Timer, who looked like he had rolled out of bed at that very instant.  These reinforcements could definitely help even the score, but how many would continue on, who would throw in the towel, and who would be waiting at Blakeney?  It was still anyone’s game at that point.  The only certainty was that Tagalong’s pickup bed was our de facto trash bin for empty water bottles.  This was unspoken, and understood by all.  After some quick hydration, Cul de Sac took the reigns for his 30 20 minute Q.  After COP we did a circuit involving scaling a retaining wall, squats and merkins, followed by a relay race.  Pax were divided into 2 teams of mostly blue Pax and 2 teams of mostly red Pax.  Blue dominated.  They won the battle, but would they win the war?  With the Pax out of gas and Cul de Sac out of ideas, Might Mite took over for the last few minutes and called a bear crawl, merkin ladder.  And just like that, it was time to head back to Blakeney.  We said hello to C3PO, T1000 and Johnny5, and goodbye to PJ, Chopper, Tagalong and Happy Meal and ALL of the Stonehenge Pax that had greeted us upon arrival to the Stonehenge AO.

It quickly became clear by the sea of red that the remaining Pax were overwhelmingly team dV.  Of the 19 of us at that point, only Wingman, Gruden and Tolkien remained from team Stonehenge.  It would take a monumental showing of Stonehenge Pax at Blakeney to make up the point differential.  Things were looking good for team dV.  We headed back the way we came, stopping at The Brave/Snooze Button AO for Mary.  At that point Right Turn, facing a do-or-die #CodeBrown situation decided his best option was to run home, which was closer than Blakeney.  We continued on without him, detouring again onto the trails behind Morrison Y, this time in daylight and able to appreciate the natural beauty.

We arrived back at the dV AO at the corner of Blakeney Heath and Ardrey Kell simultaneously with our next Q, Strange Brew, and 3 others: Sweetwater, Olaf and Circuit City.  This only added to team da Vinci’s lead.  It was at that moment that victory for dV was guaranteed.  There were no celebrations to be had, as we knew that after 2.5 hours of work we still had 30 minutes ahead of us.  We said so long to Tolkien and Jerry World and headed to the “Lash Studio” shopping center on AK for Brew’s bootcamp.  Brew led us through some partnered rock work and wall work, and then we Indian Ran back to Blakeney for some work on the fountain walls.  Rousey came up lame during the Indian Run with some cramps but managed to pull himself together and finish.

At COT team da Vinci was declared the winner and awarded possession of a brand spanking new snow shovel flag with an American flag, a CSAUP flag and pink rhinestone letters on the handle spelling “CSAUPS FOREVER” and on the bottom shovel part spelling “F3”, “SOB” “A51” and “WXW”.  Why a snow shovel?  Because it is the most CSAUP thing we could think of.  Snow hasn’t accumulated here in years.  The snow shovel flag will make an appearance at CSAUPS in SCLT whenever possible.  Look for it at WTF this Saturday!  We’ll come up with a good way for another AO to “win” possession in the near future.

Those that completed the entire event ran about 12 miles.  For several that is an all-time PR for mileage.  Nice work, fellas.  Congrats to Midriff on his 2nd CSAUP in as many weeks, with a third to come this weekend (WTF).  He has been all in from day 1.  What to say about Rousey?  The words that come to mind are “boundless energy and enthusiasm”.  What a great addition he has been to our region.  It was great to host Prince from F3 Alamo (San Antonio).  We hope you enjoyed it, Prince!  It was also great to have Doc McStuffins out at an event for the first time in a long time.  And of course he was the fastest guy out there.  Super annoying.  Right Turn, we hope you made it home without having to pull a Paper Jam on a sewer grate.  It was awesome having Johnny5 and T1000 participate.  Keep it up, men.

da Vinci Pax / points

  1. Midriff / 4
  2. Soft Pretzel / 4
  3. Tuck / 4
  4. Brexit / 4
  5. Doc McStuffins / 4
  6. Point Break / 4
  7. Kirby / 4
  8. Rousey / 4
  9. Jerry World / 3
  10. Paper Jam / 2
  11. Chopper / 2
  12. C3PO / 2
  13. Johnny5 / 2
  14. T1000 / 2
  15. Sweetwater / 1
  16. HazMat / 1
  17. Olaf / 1
  18. Circuit City / 1

18 Pax / 49 Points Total

Stonehenge Pax / points

  1. Wingman / 4
  2. Gruden / 4
  3. Tolkien / 3
  4. Happy Meal / 2
  5. Tagalong / 2
  6. Cul de Sac / 1
  7. Mighty Mite / 1
  8. Frehleys Comet / 1
  9. Billy Goat / 1
  10. Market Timer / 1

10 Pax / 20 Points Total

Neutral Pax / points

  1. War Eagle / 4
  2. Marvel / 4
  3. Prince (F3 Alamo) / 4
  4. Right Turn / 2
  5. Strange Brew / 1

5 Pax / 15 Points Total

A big thank you goes out to the planning team (YHC, War Eagle, Cooter2, Mighty Mite, Lex Luthor and Midriff) for helping refine a raw event idea from a #SSAMP (somewhat stupid and mostly pointless) into a true #CSAUP.  Thanks to the bootcamp Q’s Cul de Sac and Strange Brew.  Thank you to War Eagle and his M for providing the chicken sandwiches and coffee at the end.  Thanks Wingy for the tent.  Thank you to my M for making the beautiful CSAUP flag.  And last but not least, thank you to all of you idiots that trusted us enough to show up and throw yourself into something challenging, different and dumb.  You guys made this event what it was.

-TUCK

PreBlast: 8 Weeks To Your Fastest Mile

YHC will take the reigns at Swift starting next week for an 8-week training program designed to produce your fastest mile.  Why?  Because getting older stinks so why not flip the bird at Father Time and show him you’re not done yet.  Need more?  “Training for a fast mile can teach your body how to finish your next 5k faster.  It can boost your overall pace in a longer distance race (hello, half marathon PR).  Most importantly it can make you a stronger athlete altogether.”

There will be two workouts per week (one at Swift and one OYO or at some other workout) for 8 weeks, culminating in a mile time trial at the Community House Middle School track on Saturday, June 12th @ 0615.  Who knows, maybe some other running workouts such as Waxhaw Express or Fast Twitch will join in and run these workouts in parallel and join us at the time trial (hint hint).  The plan is based on Nike Run Club’s “Find Your Fast” 8-week training program.  YHC has loaded the plan into a Google Sheet (link) so that you can save your own version and track your progress and/or make edits.  Here are the 2 weekly workouts:

  • Week 1:
    1. Tue, Apr 20: 8 x 400m @ goal mi pace w/ 60 sec recovery.  Average the 8 intervals for a proxy of your current mile fitness.
    2. 2nd workout of the week: 2.5 mi tempo run
  • Week 2:
    1. Tue, Apr 27: 200m x 3 going from 10k pace to 5k pace to goal mi pace w/ 60 sec recovery. Repeat 5 times (15 total intervals). Note: rest 120 sec after 10th 200m
    2. 2nd workout of the week: Fartlek Run: 1 min, 2 min, 3 min, 2 min, 1 min, 1 min @ 5k pace w/ equal recovery
  • Week 3:
    1. Tue, May 4: 1,000m @ 10k pace, 500m @ 5k pace, 500m @ 5k pace, 200m @ goal mi pace, 400m @ 5k pace, 200m @ goal mi pace w/ 90 sec recovery
    2. 2nd workout of the week: 1,000m @ 10k pace, 1,000m @ 5k pace, 1,000m @ 10k pace w/ 90 sec recovery
  • Week 4:
    1. Tue, May 11: Hill Repeats: 1 min @ 10k pace, 1 min @ 5k pace, 1 min @ goal mi pace w/ recovery jog down hill. Repeat 3 times (9 total intervals).
    2. 2nd workout of the week: 3 mi tempo run
  • Week 5:
    1. Tue, May 18: 200m @ 10k pace, 200m @ 5k pace, 200m @ goal mi pace, 200m @ goal mi pace w/ 60 sec recovery. Repeat 5 times (20 total intervals).
    2. 2nd workout of the week: Fartlek Run: 1 min, 2 min, 3 min, 4 min, 3 min, 2 min, 1 min @ 5k pace w/ equal recovery
  • Week 6:
    1. Tue, May 25: 200m @ goal mi pace, 800m @ 5k pace, 200m @ goal mi pace, 600m @ 5k pace, 200m @ goal mi pace, 400m @ 5k pace, 200m @ goal mi pace. 120 sec recovery after 200m intervals and 60 sec recovery after other intervals.
    2. 2nd workout of the week: 3.5 mi tempo run
  • Week 7:
    1. Tue, Jun 1: 8 x 400m @ goal mi pace w/ 60 sec recovery.  Average the 8 intervals for a proxy of your current mile fitness.
    2. 2nd workout of the week: 1,000m @ 10k pace, 1,000m @ 10k pace, 1,000m @ 5k pace, 1,000m @ 10k pace w/ 90 sec recovery
  • Week 8:
    1. Tue, Jun 8: 12 x 200m @ goal mi pace w/ 60 sec recovery
    2. 2nd workout of the week: 1,000m @ 10k pace, 200m @ goal mi pace, 200m @ goal mi pace w/ 120 sec recovery
    3. Sat, Jun 12: 1 mi time trial @ Community House Middle School track @ 0615

In week 1 and week 7 there is a mile simulation workout (8 x 400m) that will help you identify your current mile fitness and give you a good idea of what you should be shooting for at the time trial.

Find your various training paces by inputting your goal mile pace or a recent race time here: Link.  “Tempo” pace (not shown in website) is your 5k pace + 25-30 seconds.  It is a pace that you would be able to sustain for a full hour of running and should feel “hard, but controlled”.

It is recommended that you begin each workout with a 1 mile warmup and dynamic stretching, and end with a 1 mile cooldown.  The goal is to PR but also to get to the starting line in one piece.

SOB WARS: Episode I – The Stone Chicken (#CSAUP PreBlast)

A long time ago in a F3 region far, far away…

SOB WARS

Episode I – The Stone Chicken

What: This event, the first in a series of SOB #CSAUP’s pitting brother against brother, is designed to settle the long simmering feud between Stonehenge and da Vinci (with a little help from Chicken Run), and to coax PAX out of their comfort zones.  After 5 years of insults, passive aggressive #FridayMarketing and ill-spirited workout count comparisons, this first episode will officially determine which Saturday SOB bootcamp reigns supreme.  The rivalry may have cooled off recently, but that doesn’t mean there’s not a score to settle.  These old wounds are still raw!  We need the SOB’s (and friends) to come out in force to help determine which workout will wear the crown, and which will continue to eat bagels covered in ants and trash (ok, YHC might be slightly biased).  Side note- if you’ve ever taken part in a #CSAUP you know that there is a direct correlation between the number of PAX and the amount of fellowship.  So show up and let’s get stupid.

When: April 24th, 05:00AM

Thang:

  1. 0500: Launch from PetSmart Blakeney and run to Stonehenge (~5 mi), stopping thrice along the way for Mary to collect the six
  2. 0600: Join in the first 30 minutes of the normally scheduled Stonehenge bootcamp (the full 1 hour Stonehenge will take place for those not participating in the #CSAUP)
  3. 0630: Run back to Blakeney (~4 mi), stopping twice for Mary to collect the six
  4. 0730: Join in the last 30 minutes of the da Vinci bootcamp (the full 1 hour da Vinici will take place for those not participating in the #CSAUP; note that the dV start time will be moved from 0630 to 0700)
  5. Coffeeteria

The Competition:

Wear the color of whatever Saturday bootcamp you identify with in your heart (Stonehenge = blue / da Vinci = red).  Points will be assigned to each PAX based on how many components of the #CSAUP they complete (see below).  The workout with the most points gets bragging rights AND is awarded possession of a brand new SOB artifact that captures the spirit of all things #CSAUP and will be utilized in future events.

Options and Point System:

  • “The Everything Bagel”: Run both legs and do both bootcamps – 4 points per PAX
  • “The Broatmeal”: Do both bootcamps but run only 1 leg: – 3 points per PAX
  • “The Half Chicken”: Run 1 leg and do 1 bootcamp – 2 points per PAX
  • “The Chicken Mini”: Do 1 bootcamp only – 1 point per PAX
  • FNG’s cannot earn points since they will not yet identify with one of the workouts, HOWEVER, existing PAX receive 4 bonus points for every FNG that they bring, regardless of how many components the FNG completes

Misc:

  • Cost: $0.00
  • Bring a headlamp
  • Bring an FNG (or two)
  • Bring shovel flags
  • Water will be provided at both AO’s, as well as coffee and food for coffeeteria
  • Running is highly encouraged, however if you don’t think you can complete the mileage, or are injured, cycling is allowed (use mountain bike due to trails)

Blakovery: A PreBlast

Congratulations.  You just clicked on a Blakovery PreBlast, which means you either

  1. like unnecessary things, or
  2. have a ton of free time on your hands.

Either way, you came to the right place, because not only is this Preblast unnecessary, but it is excessively long.  So like I said, congratulations.  Before I get to the plan for tomorrow’s Blakovery, we need to talk about what happened the last time I Q’d Blakovery…

It was a long time ago.  Exactly two weeks ago to be exact.  There was a different president back then.  Blakovery regulars like Wingman and Prohibition were going about their daily lives, anxiously and secretly awaiting a Slack run channel notification signaling the Blakovery wienke for the following morning.  Chopper, ever the steadfast site Q, took to Slack to announce me as the Q and passive-aggressively ponder the quality of my future course.

“Come out to see if he brings true creativity to the streets of Blakeney or settles for a cheap knock-off of and old familiar course :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

With the route already planned, I quickly and confidently replied:

“@Chopper of course there will be a new route tomorrow.  Bring a headlamp for ‘Longview Lite’.”

This was a shortened version of a course I first brought to Chicken Run through the gated Longview neighborhood.  I was pretty proud of myself.  After all, the original Longview course was pretty well-received, and I was excited to bring a version of it to the Blakovery PAX.  But then, with one short reply from Chopper, it all came crashing down.

“@tuck :thinking_face: looks familiar but maybe just a new name :flushed:

Chopper’s words, aided by co-conspirators “thinking_face” and “flushed”, cut through me like a knife.  With thinking_face seemily saying “Tuck, a recycled Chicken Run course may have been good enough under the previous regimes of PJ, Bunker & Brat, but there’s a new sheriff in town”, and flushed piling on by staring directly through MY VERY SOUL.  In an instant my world was turned upside-down.  What is a good route?  Who am I?  Will Paper Jam wear knee-high socks?  I could no longer answer these questions.  But I knew that sooner or later Chopper would come calling, and that when he did, I HAD to be ready.

And so, I took to the streets.  For 14 lonely nights I wandered the streets, alone.  Searching.  For what, I did not know.  The only thing i DID know was that Chopper was asking for, no, DEMANDING excellence.  But how could I, a mere mortal, live up to his impossibly high standards?  How could I redeem myself?  I had a feeling the answer was somewhere out there, waiting for me.  Night after night I scoured the neighborhoods of South Charlotte and Waxhaw in relentless pursuit of whatever it was that would gain me Chopper’s respect.  I didn’t eat.  I didn’t sleep.  I forgot what my kids looked like.  But then, just when I thought all was lost, it started to come together.  A truly new Blakovery course.  I finally found it, but more importantly, I found myself along the way.  Chopper, you knew what you were doing all along, didn’t you, you sly son-of-a-b*tch.  Unbelievable.

Fast forward to now.  This is where the Blakovery PreBlast actually begins.  Join us tomorrow @ the fountains of Blakeney @ 0515 for a new 5 mile course.  It is roughly 4.25 mi road and 0.75 mi flat non-technical dirt trail.  On the trail sections there are a couple of slightly muddy spots, but nothing crazy.  For the most part you can run around it.  IMHO road shoes would be fine.  If you are worried about your shiny new shoes get over it or wear something older.  A headlamp is required for this route.  I repeat, a headlamp is required.

Course Link

#SYITG

-TUCK

A Romantic Nightmare

9 PAX did Jack Webb variations around the perimeter of Stonecrest on a brisk morning at Nightmare on Elm.

Of course this was not the original plan.  YHC had a more adventurous “headlamp required” type weinke planned which involved trespassing (you know, standard Tuck stuff), but realized upon arrival that the Elm bridge construction completely obliterated access to the planned route.  After taking a moment to choke down the disappointment and shame, YHC turned to an old friend, Jack Webb, to save the day.  It seemed like a decent idea at the time.

Thang

COP

  • SSH x 20 IC
  • IW x 20 IC
  • LSS x 20 IC
  • Slow merkins x 15
  • MC x 20 IC

Mosey to main fountain area for Jack Webb variation #1

  • 1 derkin / 4 dips, up to 5 & 20

Mosey to ambiance-filled courtyard next to Flying Biscuit for Jack Webb variation #2

  • 1 toe touch (each leg) / 4 flutters (each leg), up to 5 & 20

Mosey to hill behind Target for Jack Webb variation #3

  • 1 run up hill / 4 burpees, up to 2 & 8 (ill advised)

Mosey to wall behind Target for Jack Webb variation #4

  • 1 donkey kick / 4 air presses, up to 5 & 20

Mosey to front of movie theater for Jack Webb variation #5

  • 1 sprint / 4 plank jacks, up to 3 & 12

Mosey back to launch area for Jack Webb variation #6

  • 1 merkin / 4 air presses

Moleskin

After all of this Jacking off my arms sure are dead. Just gonna leave that there.

After spending time in that romantic courtyard next to Flying Biscuit YHC feels like we all went on a date together. Tagalong and Mighty locked eyes for a fleeting moment, but quickly came to their senses and shook it off, with the unspoken vow to explore these new feelings at a later time.

On the first sprint Frehleys left it all out there. It was frightening.

Strong work by the group today. We did a great job of going back for the 6 and keeping everyone together.  There were some things YHC would have smoothed out but overall it was pretty solid for an improvised Q. Thank you Circuit City for the opportunity to lead.

Announcements

Elm bridge is not a thing

-TUCK

Ardrey Karen HS

4 intellectually curious PAX and 1 Karen went back to school on a beautiful Monday morning at Firestarter.

Thang

Muscle-up an onto retaining wall next to Blakeney entrance at Blakeney Heath Rd – 10 times

Mosey to rock pile behind the Lash Studio

  • Curls – 20 OYO
  • Triceps extensions – 20 OYO
  • Walking lunges w/ rock held overhead – roughly 10 lunges each leg
  • Repeato

Mosey to rock pile next to Self Storage place

  • Thrusters w/ rock – 15 IC
  • Merkin w/ 1 hand on rock, alternating hands – 10 each side
  • Repeato

Mosey to benches behind Ardrey Kell HS

  • Dips – 20 IC
  • Bulgarian split squats – 10 each leg
  • Hip slappers – 15 each side

Mosey back to rock pile behind the Lash Studio

  • Flutters w/ rock held over chest – 20 IC
  • American hammer while holding rock – 15 IC

Moleskine

It was an honor to lead at Firestarter for the first time.  Thank you, Teddy and Mark Kay, for the opportunity and for your support.  YHC could feel the positive vibes you were sending from your fartsacks.  YHC’s guess for the low turnout this AM is a combination of the threat of rain and PAX posting elsewhere for Passport.  Lucky for those in attendance, the rain held off and we had perfect weather.  Small numbers and strong PAX allowed us to cover a lot of ground.  Really strong work by One Star, Sweetwater and Wingman.  In total we got in 3.1 miles aka 5k.  Not too shabby for a 45 minute bootcamp.

The final destination was Ardrey Kell High School.  YHC can’t remember ever going there during a workout, so it was high on the list to check out.  We were only there for a short time, but long enough for a faculty member to see us on her walk into school and then decide to come out and check on us a bit later.  Relax Karen!  Nothing to see here, other than One Star’s Ho Ho Ho socks and Sweetwater’s chiseled physique.  On second thought, who could blame her for wanting a second look at all that.  AKHS has a lot to offer, bootcamp wise, including a plethora of parking lots, bountiful benches and frequent fields.  The only issue is it’s a stretch to reach from Blakeney.  Side note: perhaps Community House MS would be a solid future AO since it has easy access to both AKHS and the Morrison Y.  Not to mention it has it’s own track w/ tires to flip.  Side side note: it was nice to discover that there is a rock pile next to the Self Storage place.

You know how some PAX are freakishly good at 1 specific thing?  Like Market Timer w/ running backwards, Doc McStuffins with dead hanging or Mary Kay with not showing up to Firestarter?  Well as it turns out, Wingman is that way w/ muscle-ups.  He was done well before anyone else even though we were all pushing hard.  Wingman also helped Sweetwater get access to The Brave calendar after the workout.  The issue was resolved by asking Sweetwater “Have you tried turning it off and on again?”  It was so successful that going forward, Wingman will be offering free technology assistance hours to all PAX after weekday SOB workouts.  So bring your broken Palm Pilots, BlackBerrys, Microsoft Zunes and Samsung Galaxy Note 7’s and watch Wingman work his genius.

One Star described a brutal workout that he barely survived once upon a time in Hilton Head, involving a ladder of exercises and bricks.  Hopefully he will bring it to a workout near you.

Sweetwater, safe travels to Atlanta.  This is for you: https://www.f3atlanta.com/workout-locations/