Author Archive Swimmers

Balls

Given that

  1. dudes love jokin’ about ’em
  2. we all owe our existence to ’em,
    • AND
  3. I fix ’em and/or chop ’em off for a living

I thought I’d try my hand at bustin’ em for my VQ.

Warm up:

Mosey around Hickory Tavern to the first audible of the morning: a tree across the sidewalk meant we were running across parking lots and curbs rather than the sidewalk on our way to the bank parking lot to circle up.

  • SSH IC x 20
  • Imperial Walkers IC x 20
  • Goofballs IC x 15 (picture a standing mountain climber with arms and a visual result as the name implies)

Up to this point was all I could remember and the VQ jitters were still in play while I fumbled with my iPhone to refresh my memory…

Deep breath, embrace the anxiety and carry on…

@swimmers
  • Squat IC x 20 (dodging my phone on the ground as pax after pax winced at the close calls)
  • Mountain climber IC x 20
  • Jingle balls in 8 count cadence x 10

From the plank position, move right foot to right hand, back, right foot to left hand, back, left foot to left hand, back, left foot to right band, back.

F3 Exicon

Actually a good leg stretch and once you get the rhythm, it begins to burn the obliques. Might make this my signature move. Also, if they weren’t before, the Pax are beginning to pick up on a theme…

  • DD/ calf stretch while I fumble again with the iPhone / weinke
  • Plank/ 6 in (Damascus says “NO!”)
  • Plank jacks IC x 20
  • Compass with slow count Merkins IC x 8 (one per pax) with pax calling out compass points.

“N… E… S… ” was totally boring until Smokey calls out “270 degrees (why not just say West?). Much confusion ensued. Total slow (3-count lowering in cadence) Merkins: 30 (started at 5 per compass point but audible to 3 due to YHC knowing the shoulder pain ahead and hoping to protect the rotator cuffs assembled)

Indian run w/ bupee to Target parking lot for

the THANG:

Four star in Target parking lot a la @fusebox

Introduced Bulgarian ball busters:

Reverse lunge ending with a sharp knee-up. Should be accompanied by a karate sound for maximum effect

Exicon
  • 5 burpees in the middle
  • Bulgarian ball busters x 20 Left leg
  • Bulgarian ball busters x 20 Right leg
  • Mary Catherine x 20
  • Squats x 20

Pax were asking for more.

Just one time through?

@kidrock

Mosey around the back of Petsmart where we had to reel @transporter back from picking up the black plastic “sandbags” laying by the (un)loading dock … of the PET STORE… 

Marry at the parking strip above starting point for sprint suicide

options: “near” speed bump / “far” speed bump / “farthest” stop sign …. sprint there and back and marry for 5 Merkins IC in between. Each pax calls a destination. Much sweating ensued. And even though @Smokey has recently earned the respect moniker, when he was breathing down my neck on last sprint, there was no way I was letting him past…

Finally, my pièce de résistance: Mosey to the alley by Hickory Tavern forAscending testicles.

This is the Exicon exercise that gave me the whole idea for the theme of my VQ. There it sat at the bottom of the first page of the Exicon site beckoning. I modified as follows:

  • OYO with feet against the alley wall: 10 Merkins
  • 15 degrees up the wall: 5 Derkins
  • 45 degrees up the wall: 5 Derkins
  • Balls to the wall: hold for 10 count or press it out: if… you… can.
  • rinse and repeat x 3: if… you… can

Sundry Ab work until time called (during which my repeated compressions on my phone caused it to reset itsself and erase all record of the last 2 weeks of my life). I need a watch.

CoT/ announcements

  • Q source
  • Bible study monday night
  • Murph’s a-coming
  • Thanks to Transporter for taking us out

As the first (so far only) FNG to Asylum, it was an appropriate venue for my VQ. Much thanks to all the pax who out came in support. I love the camaraderie of a smaller AO and especially the opportunity for an always deep QSource after. Ackbar’s only complaint was the indian run pace that sped up as soon as he dropped for his burpee. In actuality, you always bring joy and positivity with you and I love being around you. Chastain put in a solid performance and embraced the pain. Transporter, Kid Rock, Blue Screen and Smokey led the charge and pushed us all on the sprints . Shop Dawg led from the back like a wolf pack Alpha and his presence always brings a steadying force. Damascus not only refused to plank 6 inches but he refused to removed his 15 pound vest even with his balls to the wall – a beautiful beastly man.

Thank you for the opportunity to serve you all a ball – busting this morning.