Author Archive Sundancer

HorseyMcClockArse: The Return of the Arse

6, call it 7 badasses from Metro, 51, and Union got together for some hill-based “fun.”

Let’s get the usual business out of the way –
Yes, the telltale smell of coffee and cigarettes meant that Chester was back. I alpha slow-paced past his place to let him know the old renters are back.
Yes, we did the pledge.
Yes, everyone enjoyed themselves and no one died or threw-up.

I’ll keep this short and sweet. If you are training for a race, and want to get faster, hills are your cheat code.
4.5 rounds of the OldBell/MountainView/OldBellYucca/ChesterWilby/OldBell #purityloop netted YHC 650 feet of elevation over 5 miles. Delightful.
And that was some serious “fun” and I am immensely grateful for my brothers for joining this morning, as I probably would have done a fraction of that without their push, and that’s what its all about.

Great to see Transporter and meet DocMcStuffins from Union. Always inspired by Ice9 and Kirk. Thanks to Booyah for the takeout.

Maybe I’ll Q this again next week. Maybe someone else will jump on it and Q (hint, hint).
Maybe I’ll just go to DMZ and roll around in fire ants.
Either way, we kicked the door open and turned on the HOT light, so Horsey is back open for business.

Let’s go.

HorseyMcClockArse: Open For Business

Racing season is here and Smokey Mountain Relay is in one month*

Like my man Kirk once told me, “Hills are speed in disguise, and Sundancer you run like turtles hump; slowly and unpassionately.”

So it’s off to Mt. Charlotte this Monday for your’s truly. Maybe this will be a weekly thing until BRR. Maybe it won’t. I’m QIC tomorrow. Beyond that, who knows.

If you’ve run HorseyMcHorseOrange or ClockworkFishAss, you know. If you haven’t, what’s your deal? Remedy that.

Tomorrow will be pure AMLAP: BlueRidge > MountainView > Yucca > Chester > Rinse, Repeat
Kickoff is 0515 from the gravel lot at Sardis Road and Old Bell.
Pledge of Allegiance at the neon flagpole is at 0607.

Let’s get stupid.

*If you just read that, you are now officially the 9th member of Up ‘N Over, contact Cheese Curd for your bib.

SOFAWIB: The Fresh Murph of Bel Air

A dozen for this week’s edition of SOFAWIB. Bel Air was on a mission, and I was game to support. Here’s what we did –

THE PLAN: 3-Mile Murph
Run the HT Mile 3 times
100 pullups, 200 Merkins, 300 Squats

NMM: Before we even get started, High Tide runs into the lot with the WV on. So yep, he’s officially leveled up to SuperSaiyan.
Conversely, BelAir aka Bro Zaire, was unsatisfied with his Ortho10k time, blamed it on too much MAF, and tried to take it out on Kirk by knocking him off the “kissing your sister” section of the OfficialSOFAWIBHTMileStravaSegmentLeaderboard. Come on fam, it doesn’t matter if he ran all over Mt. Charlotte the day before; Kirk has two running speeds, 1) Ludicrous and 2) Broken. Long story short, everyone is still bitter and Brushback was popping Korbel at 6:16. And just wait until I plant gps tags on Swiper (Dailek) and IronMike (spawn of FloJo and the Brawny lumberjack), post the results on MapMyRun, and ruin everyone’s day.
Confession – I saw Thunder Road run past the usual turnaround at HT and didn’t yell for him to turn back. Call it rookie hazing.
No one likes my taste in music. Ingrates.
After being dogged by just about everyone for my enjoyment of Garden&Gun (the Martha Stewart Living for southern transplants), including ThunderRoad and DeepDish who I’ve worked out with maybe once, HighTide sniped me with “Never heard of it. I know about Field & Stream though.” Brutal. I still love all of you and this is why everyone except Hammer posts to FastTwitch now.
BRR season is stupid. Running all the time is stupid. Pull-ups are awesome. FastTwitch is terrible. SOFAWIB is awesome. Everyone who posted this morning is awesome. Caddy is awesome for posting after a very public HC on F3Twitter. BelAir is awesome for Q’ing.

Announcements: Caddy is collecting clothing for the folks in Baton Rouge. Hollar at him or me or TalkBox to collect.
Prayers for OneEye after his recent skin procedure.
Church On The Street is the first weekend of September. Check the South Charlotte nation page for signups.

Why haven’t you Q’d at SOFAWIB yet? Yes, you. Shout at Kirk and Swiper to get on the calendar.

Many thanks to Swiper for the STRONG takeout, and to him and Kirk for the keys to the place.

Thank you for making SOFAWIB your choice for weekly periodical and music criticism.

SOFAWIB Preblast: The Fresh Murph of Bel Air

Bel Air and YHC split Q duties at SOFAWIB tomorrow – he does the metaphorical and literal heavy lifting, and I write stuff and talk sh!t. We are each following our #D2X.

The Plan – we’re running The Murph with the HT Mile.
It’s “Fresh” because Bel Air is the Q. Get it? [crickets]

Anyway. Bel Air is talking all kinds of junk about taking down Kirk on the HT Mile Strava leaderboard*
Will Kirk be able to recover from HorseyMcHorseAss in time to beat the competition?
Will all that MAFing result in more bad mile times?
Will we have more backblast comments than attendees again?
Will the horrible truth that Sundancer attended Fast Twitch last week be revealed?

Join us tomorrow and find out. Olde Providence Elementary. Rally at 0528 for instructions from Bro Zaire. We start sprinting at 0530.

*Even though we all can see Brushback still has the SOFAWIB record, thanks to his portable hawking spacetime transporter. Miss you, Brushback.
null

SOFAWIB: The Compass

Me, Hammer and Kirk got after it this morning. If you didn’t show, you were probably running somewhere.

Here’s what we did, though –

Partner the hell up. Nope, the magic number mean we all solo.
RUN the HT mile.
Run to the concession area and give me 10x partner handshake merkins. pick an exercise, you’re an adult.

You now have a choice to make.
“North” to that awning/pergola/whatever dugout just before the football field = 10x SLOW squats
“South” to the buddy bench playground = 10x pull-ups
“West” to the pitching warmup area = 20x SLOW flutters (left, right = “1”)
“East” towards that whatever is over there = 20x LBCs
Back to the concession stand. More exercises. Rotate your route clockwise. Proceed anon.
6:05 run the HT mile.

NMM
86 degrees at 5am? Mmmm, that’s robust.
YHC noted to push the pace while running, but slow it down on the exercises to conserve form.
After the last BRR, Malkovich was talking about how its easier to get hurt training for BRR by spending too much time running. That mixing in a bootcamp or two each week keeps the core bolstered. And if you’re core gets weak, your form suffers and injuries abound. So I thought this would hit the spot.

This workout sucked. Not because of the plan, which was awesome and executed perfectly. It sucked because Purple Haze didn’t accept my invitation. I’m concerned that he’s embarrassed that he’ll get picked on for favoring running over body-weight exercises. We at the SOFAWIB accept all body types and pick on everyone equally. I wish he posted. I had this vision that he’d actually show and we’d be able to team up and totally crush this workout. I would josh him about his gray hair. He’d make fun of my lack thereof. I’d talk about how focusing on form reduces the chance of injury while increasing muscle. He’d admit that pull-ups are awesome. He’d ask if Semi-gloss really Q’d a workout where he almost dropped a rock on his head and I would say, “No clue. No one went to that one, and that’s ‘Mr. 4th Place BeerMile Finisher Semi-Gloss’ to you, buster! And he beat Alf AND Turkey Leg and he’ll probably never let them forget that fact ever again.” Then we would jump high five to close out the workout and then tweet hilarious gifs on twitter. But he went to FartSwatch again. Anywho. I thought I had a stroke on the closing mile, so that was neat.

Announcements
Something something brr

Thanks to Kirk for the takeout. Thanks to everyone for reading this far down. Thanks to Swiper for letting me have my baby back for a week.

SOFAWIB Preblast: The Compass

As the sun is sure to rise, so too does YHC return to Q the best and hardest workout on Tuesdays located between Fairview Road and Route 51.

I’ve cooked up a little something new. I hope you like it. I call it “The Compass”

Partner the hell up. If we have odd numbers, I’ll go solo.
RUN the HT mile. And when I say “Run The HT Mile” I mean stop #whiskeydicking it, and push yourself.
I want to see PRs raining on Strava like its your first attempt at a BeerMile.

Run to the concession area and give me 10x partner handshake merkins.

You now have a choice to make. Your partner will RUN FAST in one direction, and you RUN FAST in the opposite –
“North” to that awning/pergola/whatever just before the football field = 10x SLOW squats
“South” to the buddy bench playground = 10x pull-ups
“West” to the pitching warmup area = 20x SLOW flutters (left, right = “1”)
“East” towards that whatever is over there = 20x LBCs

RUN FAST back to the concession area, plank if you wait for your partner, and then give me 10x handshake merkins.

Next path is clockwise from where you just came from. RUN FAST, perform exercises, RUN FAST BACK, 10x handshakes, rotate, RUN FAST, and so on until 6:05 and we run the HT mile.
If anyone finishes early, lead some Xs & Os.

Let’s take a moment to talk about form. I am politely asking now, and will probably ask again less politely tomorrow, FOCUS ON YOUR DAMN FORM.
Seriously, your form is garbage. And you’re going to get injured because of it.
Enough of this chicken-pecking BS with the squats. Keep weight on your heels, shoulders back, head up, drop slowly until you feel it in your glutes, and then slow back up.
No more arm-bends on the merkins. Get your hands under your shoulders, head up, eyes forward, and drop your chest to the deck.
Flutters and LBCs, get your shoulders off the ground without cranking your neck up. Focus on your ab muscles.
I don’t want to be all Men’s Health on your here, and I probably seem like a total hypocrite. And we all need to get better at this.

If hard work and geography is your idea of a real bitchin’ way to spend a morning, see you at 0525 in the Olde Providence Elementary parking lot.

SOFAWIB: The Foxworth Forty

A half dozen showed up even though there was no preblast. Here’s what I decided we would do at about 5:18 this morning –

La Cosa: El Cuarenta por Foxworth
Partner up and run to Foxworth (+/- 1 mile) – today’s partner pairing consisted of Swiper/Rachel, Cheese Curd/Daisy, and High Tide/Sunwalker.
Partner 1 runs the Foxworth Hill (up to Bedfordshire) and does burpees. Start with four and then add an additional one each trip up the hill.
While Partner 1 runs, Partner 2 does 40 reps of each exercise: merkins (during 1st trip), squats (next), flutters (next), repeat.

NMM
Welcome to sweat season. The front of YHC’s shirt was soaked to just past my tummy. A slight departure from when we last ran this in November.
High Tide ran in and out, and hereby is given extra credit #carbonfootprint
Daisy also ran in and out, but he lives across the street, but a deal is a deal #carbonfootprint
Swiper and Rachel are an illegal combination in four states. Get this, they started adding reps because they were waiting too long when the burpees got to 9+.
I’m starting to wonder if Cheese Curd has been using the same visor this whole time. I figure I would have smelled it by now if that was the case. Maybe he washes it frequently with the non-perfume stuff.
These are the things I think about when I’m standing there sucking wind and not exercising. Important things.

Announcements
Q school this Saturday with Alf, 0600 at the Panera at Arboretum. If you’ve never Q’d (Rachel), or suck at Q’ing (ahem), I highly recommend attending.
NoDa 5k this Saturday night. Come run around for 3.2 miles and drink with your boy.

Many thanks to High Tide for the escort home. That was the nicest accountability check I’ve ever gotten.
And many thanks to the rest of you for making SOFAWIB your exercise drug of choice.

SOFAWIB: My Buddy And Me

My bestest buddies showed up at the friendliest workout in 51.
Here’s what went down in the OP –

THE THING: MY BUDDY AND ME
Run the AYG mile to HT (Right onto Rea; run to HT; loop the first pillar; back to OP)
With your partner (never leave him behind/ahead/too far to the side)
–Run to the playground and do 10 pull-ups and 30 dips on the Buddy Bench (Buddy Bench is required)
–Run to Concession Stand and do 20 squats and 20 incline diamond merkin
–Run to the Field and do 30 Russian Twists and 10 dumbocrats
–Run through the woods and to the top of Foxworth hill (at stop sign) and do 10 partner derkins and 30 Flutters (single count)
Run back to field, concession stand, and playground and do exercises. That is 1 round.
Complete as many rounds as possible until 6:05.
Run the mile to HT and back.

NMM
Hitting the pivot point of the opening HT mile, a black Lexus rolls up next to the fleet pax.
Swiper and TalkBox start yelling “Creep!” so I’m really hoping it’s either a pederast propositioning my baby-faced friends, one of the members of Radiohead, or a drug-dealer (which I probably would have been interested in hearing more about at that point in the run).
Unfortunately and fortunately, it was everyone’s favorite site Q who is supposed to be on the IR with a stress-fractured foot, Kirk. He just couldn’t stay away, or was possibly high on pain meds. Again, he didn’t offer me anything, and of course I wouldn’t accept if he did, so I can’t be sure.
Where was I? Right, exercising. Swiper is still fast, and so is Cold Cuts, and everyone did everything they were supposed to, and if you were there you would have been amazed at how gritty-tough-stroasty these guys are. Especially Hammer, whose dedication to SOFAWIB has forced him to declare the concession portolet a second home. Some people have a problem with you putting the pin-up girl calendar on the back of the door and that lockbox on the latch, but we know wolves gotta guard their den. Booyah seems genuinely concerned about my tendency to vomit during workouts.
A quick poll shows that everyone loves and hates chin-ups. So we’ll keep that on the menu.
Also, Cheese Curd is almost as ornery as me in the morning. Almost. Also, I’m glad he’s back.

Announcements
None

Thank you Hammer for the takeout. And thank you all for making SOFAWIB your choice for potential abduction/narco-entrapment every Tuesday.

SOFAWIB Preblast: My Buddy And Me

Partner up.

Run the AYG mile to HT (Right onto Rea; run to HT; loop the first pillar; back to OP)

With your partner (never leave him behind/ahead/too far to the side)
–Run to the playground and do 10 pull-ups and 30 dips on the Buddy Bench (Buddy Bench is required)
–Run to Concession Stand and do 20 squats and 20 incline diamond merkin
–Run to the Field and do 30 Russian Twists and 10 dumbocrats
–Run through the woods and to the top of Foxworth hill (at stop sign) and do 10 partner derkins and 30 Flutters (single count)

Run back to field, concession stand, and playground and do exercises. That is 1 round.

Complete as many rounds as possible until 6:05.

Run the mile to HT and back.

Olde Providence Elementary. Rally at 0520, liftoff 0530 sharp.

SOFAWIB: Cannon Call

3 members of the Pax fell for my “possibly donuts” trap and instead were presented with “possibly worse” in the form of a 3 mile Murph.

The Thang: Cannon Call
Run to Randwick (cannon entrance) and back for time (1.4 mi round trip).
Do 1/2 of a Murph (50 pullups/100 merkins/150 squats)
Run back to the cannon and back for time.
Do 2/2 of a Murph
If finished before the bell rings, start again.

NMM
Rolled in on two wheels just in time. Almost took out the horde of roving waifs known more commonly as FastTwitch as they were running to Locust. Consider that a warning shot brothers, stay south of 51.

Unless your BMI is lower than the interest rate, mileage goes up means reps are going down. I didn’t finish, but it looked like everyone else was well within range.
Still made time for Xs and Os as a tribute to my wounded site Q. Get better soon, Kirk.

Low numbers, low chatter, lots of fellowship, support, and hard work. Misery loves company, and you guys are the best.

Announcements
The #MetroRunClub syndrome is spreading south. Expect nothing but hills and running until sometime in October.
Thank you for the takeout, Hammer.

And thank you all for making SOFAWIB your choice for possibly donuts every Tuesday.