Author Archive Sprockets

Edward Brickyhands

17 lab rats unknowingly signed up for an experimental workout involving 45 minutes of partner workout… not with another pax, but with 2 bricks… one in each hand. (Unlike that fratter initiation ritual you were a part of in the ’90s, there was no duct tape securing a 40oz malt bev to each hand, but rather a cold hard 5lb chunk of masonry. Not nearly as refreshing, but less likely to make you pee yourself and wake up in the hall with sharpie all over your face, so you’ve got that going for you already).
The Thang:
  • COP in bus lot
  • Straight leg toe touches
  • Peter Merkins
  • LSSs
  • Yogi squat
  • Crow pose (yes, Semi-Gloss, I have been watching a lot of You-tube lately. And yes, Queen, I think I achieved the highest refusal rate of all time with this move)
  • Circuit 1 (3 rounds)
    • 20 Thrusters
    • 20 Abyss Merkins
    • 20 American Hammers
    • Run to end of lot and back
    • 1st one done start LBCs
  • Circle up for more experiments
    • Punch kicks w/ bricks
    • RDLs (both legs)
    • Low slow abyss merkins
    • Plank o Rama
  • Line up on long side of the bus lot
    • Lunge walk across and and do 5 bodybuilders (yes, with the bricks)… mosey back. Repeato 3X
    • Mary at the finish
  • Take a lap around the school (yes, w/ the bricks)
  • Mosey to the wall
    • Wall sit w/ presses (yes, w/ bricks)
    • Off the wall for reverse flies (Hold for 3-ct)… possibly on one leg
    • Wall sit w/ punches (yes, w/ bricks)
    • Off the wall for reverse flies
    • Wall sit w/ curls (yes, w/ bricks… please stop asking me)
  • Return to launch for Mary – LBCs and star crunch
  • 5 burpees OYO
  • Dunskies
  1. Brandi texted me the night before requesting a wardrobe consultation. (I’m no fashionista, but I generally go with “functional” when selecting my workout gear)
  2. Beetlejuice said that my patented “Peter Merkins” are actually called “Supermans”.  I’m not sure that’s accurate… perhaps Beetlejuice is just a big Soulja Boy fan.
  3. During the lap around the school, I noticed Puddin Pop walking toward the back field. I was concerned he was nursing an injury and modifying as necessary, but it turn out he just had a serious turtlehead situation going on and couldn’t find a porta potty (back field near the woods, Puddin! Next time, just ask anyone with a 3yr old in the neighborhood… we know all porta potty locations like the back of our hands)
  4. To whoever broke my bricks during the reverse flies… you break it, you buy it! I’m tacking it onto your F3 dues!
  5. To Geraldo and Snowflake, if you recognize this workout, yes, I did something similar at Rockzero back in June, but it was “Edward Brickhands”. TOTALLY different! And since Slingshot gave me grief for not titling it “Edward Brickyhands”, and since he’s probably never even heard of the movie “Edward Scissorhands”, and since he doesn’t understand proper grammatical translation, and since he’s probably the only pax still reading this, I dedicate this post title to you.
  6. Welcome FOCKER to your first Hydra post. (When it comes to F3, remember… It’s just a game, Focker!)
  1. Blood Drive on 10/23
  2. Your prayers have been answered… Sprockets is leaving town. Moving to Boone in December… New Site Q TBA. House for sale in OP gets listed today… tell all your friends!
Thanks to Runstopper and Cottonmouth for giving me the opportunity to Q, and thanks to Spankler for the solid take-out.
Proud to be F3,

Edward Brickhands

11 lucky dogs enjoyed the opportunity to explore the boundaries of bootcamp creativity this morning. Needless to say, then thoroughly enjoyed every second of it. McGee made his entrance at 6:59:59, and we were off like a prom dress…

  • COP in the amphitheatre (thanks for joining us, OT! Glad you could make it)
    • Straight-leg toe touch
    • LSS
    • Yoga Squat (get low get low get low….)
    • Mtn Climbers
    • Peter Merkin (Peter What??? – yeah, they was the 1st of many patent-pending experiments for the morning)
    • “What’s” Up Dog
    • Down Dog
  •        Mosey to the microvan and grab 2 bricks. Befriend them, explore them, get to know them… they’ll be attached to you for the next 45 mins
  • Circle up with bricks for more experiments
    • SSH w/ bricks
    • Jump side-to-side on one leg with bricks (flap jack)
    • RDLs (both legs)
    • Low slow abyss merkins
    • Mosey to the hotbox
  • Circuit 1 (3 rounds)
    • 20 Step-ups
    • 20 Abyss Merkins
    • 20 American Hammers
    • Take a lap around the microvan
  • Mosey to the Mickey Mouse lot for YHC’s next horrible idea
    • Lunge walk across and and do 10 bodybuilders (yes, with the bricks)… mosey back. Repeato 3X
    • Mary at the finish
  • Mosey back to the hotbox (ironically, the most climate-controlled venue in all of RockZero this morning)
    • Wall sit w/ presses (yes, w/ bricks)
    • Off the wall for reverse flies (Hold for 3-ct)
    • Wall sit w/ punches (yes, w/ bricks)
    • Off the wall for reverse flies
    • Wall sit w/ curls (yes, w/ bricks… please stop asking me)
  • Next bad idea…catch me if you can (runner backwards, chaser does 5 merkins… yes, w/ the bricks)
  •        Plank-o-rama (yes/ w/ the bricks)
  • Mosey to the microvan and drop the bricks… finally!
  • Mosey to the roundabout while YHC figures out how to file 10more mins… circle up on the perimeter… bear crawl 1/2 way around, crab walk the rest. Modify as necessary
  • Mosey to launch… Freddy Mercs, 10 burpees OYO.
  • Basta ya! Terminado!


  • RockZero desperate for Qs … talk to Geraldo
  •        If you have the inside scoop on a house for sales in the 3-400s in South CLT, talk to Boererwors (he has a friend in the hunt)



  •        Apparently there’s some other F3 workout going on a mere 100 feet away from RockZero on Saturday mornings. They hang out in a circle and lift heavy things. Seems kind of weird, if you ask me, but you didn’t, so whatever. It’s called “Olympus” (wasn’t that a camera promoted by Andre Agassi??). Talk to Voodoo.
  •       Welcome Beetlejuice on his 1st RockZero post. Come on back now, ya hear!
  •       Props to Hoover on the 5mile pre-run. (It seems I’m not the only one with horrible ideas this morning)
  •       Props to Snowflake, the humble warrior, who appears to have run it in from home
  •       Be grateful we didn’t follow Runstopper’s suggestion of Hairburners with the bricks… that exercise is sponsored by Friendly Dental.
  •       Not a ton of mumblechatter this morning, but a solid group of dudes willing to (generally) go along put forth the effort with some experimental routines.

Thank you all for a great kickoff to the weekend!

Brandi, you’re a fine girl. What a good Q you would be!

Well today marked my Inaugural Q of Hydra.  I guess after doing F3 for the last six months they felt I had it in me to lead

Started in bus lot w 25 side straddles then plank/merkan countdown rotation for warm up

Ran to church, grabbed rocks did 20 shoulder presses followed by 20 curls, loop the perimeter of church w/ 15 dry docks halfway through loop, 3 laps

Ran to OP, did 3 laps.  Each intersection (3) designated a different exercise , 20 LBC’s, 15 diamond merkans, 5 burpees.  I am guessing each lap was around 500 M

Followed up by a .75 mile Indian run/ Swedish mile (yes cut it a little short), recovered back to OP and finished w / 15 Merkans OYO.

Only mess up on my part is not having my phone running when we ran the roll call this AM so apologies for not listing everyone.  Welcomed new participant Jack Peattie aka Billy Ray (Jack used to live in Nashville so the washed up old country singer sticks well).  Had 22 guys (know we have been over 20 the last few weeks which is solid).  Hope we can keep up the numbers.  I got a few guys in OP that I am trying to recruit but their alarms somehow don’t function around 530AM

Guys I know we ran more than normal (right at 4 miles or so).  I know we got word next weeks workout will be less running.  Great job by all and thanks for your patience on my inaugural Q

Hope to be able to Q again later this year, I promise just as much running and intensity but cooler temps and less humidity by then.  Have a good weekend and see you all next week.

Free your mind, bro!

26 interaction-deprived humans arrived at various times for an opportunity to free the mind, body, and soul. Quarantine does strange things to a man. It inspires some to take up yoga in order to expand their balance, flexibility, and core strength. It inspires others to stand still and stare at the Q like he has a horn growing out of his head. Whatevs. Here’s the Clifs notes…

  1. Take it to the East lot
    1. SSHs (Gummy will be sorely disappointed that he missed this)
    2. Toe Touches
    3. Merkin Surprise
    4. The Dancer (yes, this is the time on Sprockets when we dance!)
  2. Take it to the field – perform
    1. 4 corners (5 burpees in the middle; Mary at the end)
    2. Merkins (25)
    3. Jump Squats
    4. American Hammers
    5. CDDs
  3. Take it to the end zone for Hydra’s debut performance of the patented “A$$ Wrecker”
    1. Bonnie Blairs (re-named Apollo Anton-Onos)
    2. Mtn Climbers
    3. Iron Squats
    4. 200 yards
    5. Mary
    6. Repeato 3X
  4. Line it up for 25 yards of fun (watch the cactus… my hands looked like pinhead from Halloween after this)
    1. Bear crawl
    2. Lunge walk
    3. Crab walk
    4. Burpee Broadjumps (Ductwork guessed this one, so I’ll let you thank him for it)
  5. It’s only 6;30, the Q is completely out of content, about to vomit from the burpee broadjumps, and flounders to make up random junk from here on out…
    1. Plank-o-rama
    2. Elbow plank jacks
    3. Shoulder taps
    4. Sprints



  1. Semi Gloss is planning to wax his back in preparation for his Q next week. (Motorboat will be performing the procedure.)
  2. Amber and Prohl did serious battle on the sprints, with Slingshot and others making valiant attempts at the bronze (because really, you’re not going to beat Amber or Prohl at, well, anything)
  3. Extra credit goes to Runstopper and Witch Doctor, who failed to read the fine print and started at 5:30, but opted into a 75-minute workout and finished with the pax.
  4. A handful of bro-ga moves to interspersed throughout, including “the wheel” and a tribute to Brandon Lee’s final movie, “the crow”. It was during the latter that I believe I heard McGee say “Like, literally, NO ONE is doing this exercise right now”. (always encouraging to hear, as a Q)



  1. Hydra will continue to meet at 6am for the foreseeable future (i.e. until YHC has to go back to the office)
  2. Hops at the Rock this Saturday.
  3. Talk to Clover about White Claw, and other F3-ish type circus events.


For anyone still reading, I would be remiss if I didn’t take the opportunity to say something about how angry and sickened I’ve been by recent current events. I failed in the closing prayer to ask for healing in our country, and for our generation to somehow finally put an end to racism, hatred, and senseless violence, but I want to express that desire here. It’s super easy for me to enjoy my safe, comfortable, suburban existence and pretend that the death of George Floyd and others doesn’t affect me, or that there’s nothing I can do. Our spheres of influence are greater than we realize, and F3 is a powerful force that can teach grown men how to love one another and treat ALL brothers with respect and equality.


Be well, brothers.

Life is Short. Pray Hard.

When we pulled up to the lot in the Microvan at 5:26am this morning and saw no one, IHOP asked me, “Are we late???” I said, “No, we’re early.” Never a doubt… 11 faithful compatriots promptly emerged for some fun in the nest. Reebok got a very directed half-hearted disclaimer, and we were off through the frosted wonderland of CharLatin…

  • Mosey to COP (upper lot)
    • IWs
    • LSSs
    • Peter Parkers
    • True Americans (6-ct)
    • Run to turf… karaoke, then option of bear crawl or cartwheels to the goal line (or fútbol equivalent)
  • Quarter Pounder
    • Sprint to the 25 yards and do 25 merkins, Run backwards to Goal
    • Sprint to the 50 and do 50 squats, Backwards to Goal Line
    • Sprint to the 75 (yes, the 75-yard-line… that’s what I said) and do 75 Mountain Climbers, back to goal
    • Sprint to the 100 and do 100 SSHs (or, apparently, whatever you think is a better idea)
  • Mary in the Middle
    • Flutters
    • Freddy Mercs
    • Arch!! (feels so good)
    • Mosey to the track
  • Track work
    • 1st lap – 10 Monkey Humpers at each corner
    • Mary for the 6
    • 2nd lap – 10 True Americans at each corner
    • Mary for the 6
    • 3rd lap – 10 Bonnie Blairs (each leg) at each corner
    • Mary for the 6
    • 4th lap – line it up – AYG 400
    • Recover, plank-o-rama, elbow plank jacks
  • Take it to the bridge…
    • Grab a respectable rock and take a seat on the wall
    • Curls with rocks
    • Wall Tar D-jiah (sp?)
    • Take a seat…. Presses with rocks
    • Drop the rock and proceed to launch (or lunch… whatever)
  • Time check… 6:13
    • Sweat Angels (~99, I believe)
    • 10 burpees OYO
    • Dunskies



  1. Today is Lew’s 2nd anniversary of his 29th Bday. (Party like an 18month old and vomit without reservation!)
  2. Revlon’s rapidly closing in on “3 under 3.” (Prepare to move to a zone defense, my friend)
  3. Reebok made his debut Hawks Nest performance, making it 3 posts in his first week of F3. (He admits this may be a bit zealous, and projects the pendulum to swing toward equilibrium. Hope to see you at Hydra on Thurs)
  4. Scratch n Win was REALLY excited about Rev’s purple hoodie. Ridge View baseball, I believe. Not sure of the inside joke, but I think it’s the team Tebow’s currently playing for.
  5. Puddin’ kept it classy all morning by quoting explicit lyrics by Ice T… or was it Ice Cube??
  6. Hops still fails to recruit his best friend of 25 years to join a single F3 workout. However, we recently discovered that said individual is my wife’s cousin’s dad’s cousin’s son, so that’s gotta grease the wheels somehow. (Then again, in East TN, everyone’s a cousin of some sort. No disrespect to SnW or Gummy, who I’m certain are cousins as well).
  7. Semi dropped some knowledge on me around the track… When I asked him for any recommendations of new places to take my young children this weekend, he suggested some place in South End. Yeah, I checked… it’s a bar. Awesome. CPS should be at your house later tonight.
  8. IHOP may have been the only pax willing to attempt cartwheels on the turf. (Honestly, people, would you really rather do bear crawls than cartwheels? Remember… You don’t quit playing because you get old… you get old because you quit playing.)
  9. I could sense the disappointment in Marge’s eyes when I gave the disclaimer this morning… he was thinking “You? Again? Didn’t you just Q on Saturday? Ugh.” (Yep, sorry bro. You get what you get and you don’t pitch a fit.)
  10. Thunder Road and Leprechaun, as per usual, politely put in a full day’s work before most people woke up.


  1. Prayers for Doc McStuffins who undergoes heart surgery tomorrow

When I asked who wanted the honor of taking us out, Astro and Revlon about went to fisticuffs over who got to say the closing prayer. Those Elevation guys really bring it… Life is Short. Pray Hard.

Thank you to Hopser for allowing me to lead this morning. It’s truly a pleasure.

Who shuffled this deck!?

19 morons thought that YHC was still sick and that surely they would be presented this morning with a quality workout, a traditional regimen, and trustworthy leadership. Instead, they got a has-been Spin class instructor with a neon fanny pack and a Napoleon complex. They followed anyway… they always do.


  1. Mosey north for COP in the amphitheater to the timeless sounds of GnR:
    1. IWs
    2. SSHs
    3. LSSs
    4. LSMerkins
    5. LSPeter Parkers
    6. LSFreddy Murchisons
    7. Backwards arch… hold!!! (I’ve never felt so alone)
  2. Mosey to the rockpile and grab one of several pre-selected rocks (no paperweights today, boys)
  3. Mosey to the north lot, pop the hatch on the Microvan and see what kind of junk is in the trunk… (IKEA kids chalkboard and a deck of cards… WTF?)
  4. Welcome to Sprockets’ (Full) “House of Pain”!!!
    1. Spades = 8-count Burpee Jacks
    2. Diamonds = Heels 2 Heaven
    3. Clubs = Iron Squats (“huh?”)
    4. Hearts = F3s (curl/press/extend)
    5. Jokers = Dealer’s Choice
      1. Partner race… wheelbarrows n partner carries
      2. Catch me if you can… around the bldg., 10merkins at each handoff
    6. Aces high (14reps) in a full deck = 104reps of each exercise + a couple long laps and 2 (not so funny) Joker routines
  5. Finish the deck, deposit the rocks at 7:56 and run like heck to south lot.
  6. Time check… 7:59
  7. 20 Boone Crunches each side…. DONE!



  1. A whole lotta laughin’ early on. Not a whole lotta laughin for the last 25minutes
  2. Excellent tracking skills by Deep Dish and his late-arriving accomplice… He can track a falcon on a cloudy day… He can find COT.
  3. One guy who shall remain nameless (rhymes with “Dummy”) kept barking early on to “take a lap” and break up the card-flipping. It was this request that inspired YHC to call for “a lap” around the bldg with the rock during the 2nd You now know who to thank for that.
  4. I think we got nothing but face card spades and clubs for the 1st 8 cards. (Hey, Mama always told me life is more like a game of poker than a game of chess.) Fun fact… Johnny Cash recorded a lesser-known version of “The Gambler” before Kenny Rogers took it to #1 in 1978. Now you know.
  5. At one point (in response to leading the Iron Squats with your “inferior leg”) Gummy offered to show everyone his own inferior leg… requests can be placed offline.
  6. If given the opportunity, YHC highly recommends matching with Hoover during the partner-carries… 1) While carrying the HGH-infused Gorilla on your back, his feet hang so low that you get a powered assist, similar to Fred Flintstone powering his car by skipping his feet across the ground 2) The view of the Atlantic from atop his back is breathtaking.
  7. Biggest lesson learned… size matters when it comes to Bluetooth speakers. The dime-sized woofer I got in my Christmas stocking left something to be desired. I’ll try to get on the “nice” list in 2020.



  1. RZ is desperately in need of Qs. They will take ANYONE (case in point… Alf and McGee are on the schedule)


Big thanks to Hoover and Geraldo for covering for me while I was out with the man-flu, and for trusting that I would actually show up this morning. Have a sensational week, my brothers!


A final text from Sprockets with advice to “Better double-alarm-clock this one” ensured that YHC got no
sleep the night before his VQ. However, that’s a small price to pay compared to the ridicule and
torment the PAX would have put me through had an alarm not went off.
23 brave PAX joined for the first time Q at Hydra. Scratch and Win brought a guest and after YHC gave
the memorized disclaimer and got the nod from Sprockets, we were off:
– Mosey to the West Olde Providence Elementary and circle up for:
o 15 Side-Straddle Hops (IC)
o 15 Imperial Walkers (IC)
o 15 Low Slow Squats (IC)
o 15 Mountain Climbers (IC)
– After messing up on counting during Mountain Climbers, YHC took in the ridicule from the PAX,
recovered, and we Moseyed back to the East parking lot.
The Thang:
After much debate, I heeded the advice of our site-Qs and kept it simple for this first workout:
– 4 Corners
o 3 loops (10/20/30 of each exercise per round) – Plank up between each round to wait
on the 6)
 Corner 1 (Benches on East corner of school) – Step-ups (each leg)
 Corner 2 (Benches on West corner of school) – Derkins
 Corner 3 (Basketball Court) – Jump Squats
 Corner 4 (North End of Launch Parking Lot) – Carolina Dry Docks

– Mosey to the Church parking lot and grab a running rock (YHC drowned out the groans that
were coming from the PAX and pressed forward)
o Take a NASCAR (yes, only left turns) loop around the church neighborhood doing 10
curls & 10 triceps press at every other stoplight

o Some Mary was done in the parking lot as we gathered up the 6, then Lunge-walked the
driveway to Rea Road, much to the chagrin of the PAX, before moseying back to the

– 5 Minutes of Mary (Can a former swimmer lead a workout without some Flutter? I think not!)
No announcements and a big shout out to Snowflake for the prayer takeout.
Many thank to Gummy and Sprockets for the opportunity to lead and do this VQ at home. You both
were instrumental in the leadup and execution today. Thank you. Great effort this morning by some
solid men. After discovering the hidden Reebok logo on his hat, there was little debate that our FNG,
brought out by Scratch and Win, and Nike Golf Pro would be named Reebok and forever be known by
his company’s competition.
Reebok, this is a great group and you’ve already taken the first step in posting. Looking forward to
seeing you at a future Hydra workout.
Nobody injured, nobody lost, and we broke in FNG Pete (aka Reebok)……that’s success in my book.


Olde Providence Elementary Center For Children Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too

Despite forecasts of a cataclysmic F5 Tornado by Brad Panovich and a community uprising to cancel or postpone a centuries-old holiday tradition of dressing like an imbecile and rotting our teeth out, a collection of “lucky 13” pax gathered in the steambath that is South Charlotte in late October to start our Halloween the old fashioned way… by participating in a bootcamp that would surely be a “Thriller”. Our Special Guest, Derek Zoolandar, arrived looking really, really ridiculously good-looking and ready to lead the pax on a neighborhood tour of holiday decorations (but we only made left-hand turns). Let’s party…

1.     COP in bus lot

o    IW.s

o    LSS.

o    Mtn Climbers

o    True Americans (6-ct)

  • SSH (accelerate)
  • Commence tour of Chadwyck Farms…

o    Plank, Mary, Regroup

·         10 squats and 10 True Americans – run to the inflatable skeleton

o    Plank, Mary, Regroup

·         20 squats and 20 True Americans – run to the purple tombstone

o    Plank, Mary, Regroup

·         Triple Nickle (up to spider web and back)

o    10 SMCs at the bottom

o    10 CDDs at the top

  • Huddle for assignment – Mission: Petty Vandalism

·         Sprint back to first inflatable, then return to start with various Plank/Mary/Merkin stops to regroup

  • 3 minutes of Mary
  • 10 burpees OYO
  • Dunskies


  • Slingshot was prompt and diligent in his 3rd-ever F3 post… seems to be drinking the F3 Koolaid by the gallon
  • IHOP made his 2nd appearance ever (the 1st being 6 years ago). We look forward to having you back out in 2025
  • One Eye seems to have gone for a pre- and post- run, but hey, what else does the slacker have to do during his “garden leave” funemployment (congrats on the new gig!)
  • Queen looked 20 years younger with his clean-shaven babyface… (now if he can only borrow some muscles for his “Mr. Clean” Halloween costume)
  • Pop Tart is the only pax who appears to have gotten the memo that today was Halloween… but something tells me he didn’t have to dig too far into his wardrobe to dig out a mullet and wifebeater
  • Hopper was the only “respect”able pax in attendance. Congrats. (Each morning this side of the dirt is a blessing.)
  • Marge was crushing it up front on the hill work while counting down the days until his dude’s trip to Scotland (246)
  • Puddin’ Pop was unusually quiet today, unsupported by his 2 Trifusenik compatriots (then again, threats of rain tend to separate the men from the boys).
  • Gummy disappointed royally by leaving his purple gorilla suit at home, but he did help herd the pax through the labyrinth of Chadwyck/Wessex and ensure that we actually got back on time, so perhaps he earned his pay after all.
  • Clover, Jet Fuel & Mailman quietly and humbly put in solid work today

Our original “Special Guest” was supposed to be our beloved Cheese Curd, but he had to flake last week due to a lingering ab injury he sustained by laughing at his own jokes. In order to show him a sign of our affection, we did a bit of decoration rearranging in his yard. (Little did we know that the guy has more surveillance cameras than Fort Knox, and we were busted before we began.) Thankfully, no ghosts were harmed in the making of this post… just our relationship with Curd, which I’m willing to sacrifice.

No announcements of material significance were shared. Contact Pop Tart for details on the F3 Thanksgiving Party.

Thanks to everyone for dragging themselves out of the fartsack to enjoy a little bro-time with me this morning. YHC had been fighting the crud for almost 3 weeks, and I have to admit I really missed you guys. You always get my day started off the right way.

Purple Haze on Q next week, coming out of boot camp retirement to (in his words) give the people what they want… what they really, really want.


The Thang:


SSH X 25

IW X 20

Low Slow Squat X 10

Slow Merkin X 10

Over to the Playground and partner up:

Partner One runs around the school

Partner Two does reps of 15 air squats, 10 merkins, 5 pull ups

Repeat for 3 sets

Over to the big tree with the benches:

Partner One run down the sidewalk to front of the other parking lot

Partner Two does 12 step ups each leg, 12 dips, and 12 durkins

Over to the small field.

15 merkins, then run 50 yards

15 lbcs then run 50 yards

12 Carolina dry docs then run 50 yards

12 heals to heaven then run 50 yards

12 diamond merkins then run 50 yards

12 lbcs then run 50 yards

10 wide arm merkins then run 50 yards

12 Russian twists each side then run 50 yards

All you got for 50 yards

All you got or all you care to give for 50 yards

Back to the launch site:

15 merkins


Good solid group of 23 strong showing up even with the temperature dipping below 50 degrees. I’m officially announcing the end of the longest summer on Charlotte record.

The first group running took off like gang busters. I would give credit to some of those guys, but I don’t know who they were, they were too far in front of me. #notsustainablefor45minutes.

I was worried with a big group that there wouldn’t be enough room to do pull-ups. That concern quickly vanished when I realized that I was one of only about 3 or 4 guys that were actually doing them. We don’t do burpees any more, we don’t do jumping jacks, we don’t do pullups. This is very, very, sad.

I’m listing that smaller field as 50 yards. It might be smaller, but I’m rounding up. The last two runs were supposed to be All-You-Gots, they became All-Your-Willing To Gives.

It’s amazing how quick Gloss is able to do his ab exercises. He was finished with his crunches before most of us had done more than two or three. That’s impressive.

Introducing FHG Juicy. Spacker brought him over, so that’s obviously one quick character strike against him, but he did actually seem like a pretty decent guy. No announcements other than BRR coming in 11 months. Thanks for Sprockets and Gummy for giving me the opportunity to lead.

Welcome to the Jungle

When YHC got the last minute invite yesterday to SubstiQ for an injured Leprechaun, I immediately jumped to action, assuming he’d hurt himself valiantly while rescuing some innocent creature from some perilous situation. (Nope, he hurt his knee at Carowinds). #wondedwarrior

Nevertheless, ~17 pax gathered to support YHC in his 7th VQ. Everyone was questioning the fanny pack that was suspended securely above my junk (and many references were made to an SNL skit featuring the most romantic gift a man could ever give to his loved one…. In a box). Once fully disclaimed, YHC extended a formal “Welcome” to the pax…. Yes, “Welcome……. To the jungle.” (queue jammy pack). Let’s roll…

  • Mosey to COP
  • 20 IWs
  • 20 LSSs
  • 20 Mtn Climbers

Jam on… to the turf. Karaoke, buttkickers, circle up mid-field for that lesser-known Schwarzenegger film… The Escalator (routine and the following details stolen from that crusty old curmudgeon we refer to as “Champagne”:

Instructions provided slowly and in triplicate to ensure everyone was on the same page.

5 squats, 5 wide arm merkins, 5 heels to heaven, 5 burpees – run to other end of field (approx 50 yards)

10 squats, 10 wide arm merkins, 10 heels to heaven, 10 burpees – 50 yard run

15 squats, 15 wide arm merkins, 15 heels to heaven, 15 burpees – 50 yard run

20 squats, 20 wide arm merkins, 20 heels to heaven, 20 burpees – 50 yard run

25 squats, 25 wide arm merkins, 25 heels to heaven, 25 burpees – 50 yard run

20 squats, 20 wide arm merkins, 20 heels to heaven, 20 burpees – 50 yard run

15 squats, 15 wide arm merkins, 15 heels to heaven, 15 burpees – 50 yard run

10 squats, 10 wide arm merkins, 10 heels to heaven, 10 burpees – 50 yard run

5 squats, 5 wide arm merkins, 5 heels to heaven, 5 burpees – Finished

Solid basic old school meat and potatoes workout this am.  Escalator is no joke and leaves a mark.  A grind from beginning to end.  For those keeping score, it was 125 of all called exercises and approximately 400 yards of AYG.  And (most) everyone was crushing it and pushing themselves. Trifuseniks were in full effect, finishing at the front of the pax in impressive fashion doing “everything but the burpees.” Then again, Puddin’ pointed out to me when Bobby Brown came on that I was playing their theme song… “My Prerogative.” Touché, amigo.

Mary for the 6

Plank o rama

Elbow plankjacks

Jam on… to the bridge

Partner up and grab a rock per couple…. Catch me if you can around the track with the laggard doing 10 CDDs.

Back to the wall for people’s chair… some 1 leggeds, toes on the wall…. Hold… toe taps

Back to start for some Freddy Mercs, Sweat Angels, and 10 burpees OYO. DONE.

·         Moleskin

  • Scratch n Win claims that Appetite for Destruction was the greatest album of all time. (It’s hard to refute)
  • Limey asked YHC if I had 3 Red Bulls this morning. (Nope, just a strong dose of FREEDOM when I woke up)
  • Pop Tart was seen carrying at least 2 rocks at a time around the track, while Hops was seen empty-handed. #teamworkmakesthedreamwork
  • YHC experienced a brief moment of panic while searching for the perfect name for our FNG… a former collegiate swimmer with a nut allergy. Settled on “Epi Pen”, but YHC promptly experienced remorse for a name that is admittedly weak sauce when there were countless Speedo references to be had. YHC consulted with A51 Godfather Hops on the statute of limitations for name changes, and apparently we’re still within the window. While the crowd was clearly pushing for “Banana Hammock”, the name presented far too many syllables. When asked what the FNG used to shave his body, he responded with a “Mach 3” (a solid nickname replacement), but then Hops and I settled on it… the evil step-cousin of the Speedo… the “Slingshot” (yes, the man-kini made famous by Borat, everyone’s favorite Kazakhstanian.) Done. Settled. Immortalized. Welcome, Slingshot.


  1. Bring coats
  2. Christmas party is before Thanksgiving this year, and we’re inviting a bunch of SOBs
  3. Shameless plug for WAMRAP

It was truly a pleasure this morn. Shout-out to Scratch for the solid send-off!