Author Archive Sprockets

Life is Short. Pray Hard.

When we pulled up to the lot in the Microvan at 5:26am this morning and saw no one, IHOP asked me, “Are we late???” I said, “No, we’re early.” Never a doubt… 11 faithful compatriots promptly emerged for some fun in the nest. Reebok got a very directed half-hearted disclaimer, and we were off through the frosted wonderland of CharLatin…

  • Mosey to COP (upper lot)
    • IWs
    • LSSs
    • Peter Parkers
    • True Americans (6-ct)
    • Run to turf… karaoke, then option of bear crawl or cartwheels to the goal line (or fútbol equivalent)
  • Quarter Pounder
    • Sprint to the 25 yards and do 25 merkins, Run backwards to Goal
    • Sprint to the 50 and do 50 squats, Backwards to Goal Line
    • Sprint to the 75 (yes, the 75-yard-line… that’s what I said) and do 75 Mountain Climbers, back to goal
    • Sprint to the 100 and do 100 SSHs (or, apparently, whatever you think is a better idea)
  • Mary in the Middle
    • Flutters
    • Freddy Mercs
    • Arch!! (feels so good)
    • Mosey to the track
  • Track work
    • 1st lap – 10 Monkey Humpers at each corner
    • Mary for the 6
    • 2nd lap – 10 True Americans at each corner
    • Mary for the 6
    • 3rd lap – 10 Bonnie Blairs (each leg) at each corner
    • Mary for the 6
    • 4th lap – line it up – AYG 400
    • Recover, plank-o-rama, elbow plank jacks
  • Take it to the bridge…
    • Grab a respectable rock and take a seat on the wall
    • Curls with rocks
    • Wall Tar D-jiah (sp?)
    • Take a seat…. Presses with rocks
    • Drop the rock and proceed to launch (or lunch… whatever)
  • Time check… 6:13
    • Sweat Angels (~99, I believe)
    • 10 burpees OYO
    • Dunskies



  1. Today is Lew’s 2nd anniversary of his 29th Bday. (Party like an 18month old and vomit without reservation!)
  2. Revlon’s rapidly closing in on “3 under 3.” (Prepare to move to a zone defense, my friend)
  3. Reebok made his debut Hawks Nest performance, making it 3 posts in his first week of F3. (He admits this may be a bit zealous, and projects the pendulum to swing toward equilibrium. Hope to see you at Hydra on Thurs)
  4. Scratch n Win was REALLY excited about Rev’s purple hoodie. Ridge View baseball, I believe. Not sure of the inside joke, but I think it’s the team Tebow’s currently playing for.
  5. Puddin’ kept it classy all morning by quoting explicit lyrics by Ice T… or was it Ice Cube??
  6. Hops still fails to recruit his best friend of 25 years to join a single F3 workout. However, we recently discovered that said individual is my wife’s cousin’s dad’s cousin’s son, so that’s gotta grease the wheels somehow. (Then again, in East TN, everyone’s a cousin of some sort. No disrespect to SnW or Gummy, who I’m certain are cousins as well).
  7. Semi dropped some knowledge on me around the track… When I asked him for any recommendations of new places to take my young children this weekend, he suggested some place in South End. Yeah, I checked… it’s a bar. Awesome. CPS should be at your house later tonight.
  8. IHOP may have been the only pax willing to attempt cartwheels on the turf. (Honestly, people, would you really rather do bear crawls than cartwheels? Remember… You don’t quit playing because you get old… you get old because you quit playing.)
  9. I could sense the disappointment in Marge’s eyes when I gave the disclaimer this morning… he was thinking “You? Again? Didn’t you just Q on Saturday? Ugh.” (Yep, sorry bro. You get what you get and you don’t pitch a fit.)
  10. Thunder Road and Leprechaun, as per usual, politely put in a full day’s work before most people woke up.


  1. Prayers for Doc McStuffins who undergoes heart surgery tomorrow

When I asked who wanted the honor of taking us out, Astro and Revlon about went to fisticuffs over who got to say the closing prayer. Those Elevation guys really bring it… Life is Short. Pray Hard.

Thank you to Hopser for allowing me to lead this morning. It’s truly a pleasure.

Who shuffled this deck!?

19 morons thought that YHC was still sick and that surely they would be presented this morning with a quality workout, a traditional regimen, and trustworthy leadership. Instead, they got a has-been Spin class instructor with a neon fanny pack and a Napoleon complex. They followed anyway… they always do.


  1. Mosey north for COP in the amphitheater to the timeless sounds of GnR:
    1. IWs
    2. SSHs
    3. LSSs
    4. LSMerkins
    5. LSPeter Parkers
    6. LSFreddy Murchisons
    7. Backwards arch… hold!!! (I’ve never felt so alone)
  2. Mosey to the rockpile and grab one of several pre-selected rocks (no paperweights today, boys)
  3. Mosey to the north lot, pop the hatch on the Microvan and see what kind of junk is in the trunk… (IKEA kids chalkboard and a deck of cards… WTF?)
  4. Welcome to Sprockets’ (Full) “House of Pain”!!!
    1. Spades = 8-count Burpee Jacks
    2. Diamonds = Heels 2 Heaven
    3. Clubs = Iron Squats (“huh?”)
    4. Hearts = F3s (curl/press/extend)
    5. Jokers = Dealer’s Choice
      1. Partner race… wheelbarrows n partner carries
      2. Catch me if you can… around the bldg., 10merkins at each handoff
    6. Aces high (14reps) in a full deck = 104reps of each exercise + a couple long laps and 2 (not so funny) Joker routines
  5. Finish the deck, deposit the rocks at 7:56 and run like heck to south lot.
  6. Time check… 7:59
  7. 20 Boone Crunches each side…. DONE!



  1. A whole lotta laughin’ early on. Not a whole lotta laughin for the last 25minutes
  2. Excellent tracking skills by Deep Dish and his late-arriving accomplice… He can track a falcon on a cloudy day… He can find COT.
  3. One guy who shall remain nameless (rhymes with “Dummy”) kept barking early on to “take a lap” and break up the card-flipping. It was this request that inspired YHC to call for “a lap” around the bldg with the rock during the 2nd You now know who to thank for that.
  4. I think we got nothing but face card spades and clubs for the 1st 8 cards. (Hey, Mama always told me life is more like a game of poker than a game of chess.) Fun fact… Johnny Cash recorded a lesser-known version of “The Gambler” before Kenny Rogers took it to #1 in 1978. Now you know.
  5. At one point (in response to leading the Iron Squats with your “inferior leg”) Gummy offered to show everyone his own inferior leg… requests can be placed offline.
  6. If given the opportunity, YHC highly recommends matching with Hoover during the partner-carries… 1) While carrying the HGH-infused Gorilla on your back, his feet hang so low that you get a powered assist, similar to Fred Flintstone powering his car by skipping his feet across the ground 2) The view of the Atlantic from atop his back is breathtaking.
  7. Biggest lesson learned… size matters when it comes to Bluetooth speakers. The dime-sized woofer I got in my Christmas stocking left something to be desired. I’ll try to get on the “nice” list in 2020.



  1. RZ is desperately in need of Qs. They will take ANYONE (case in point… Alf and McGee are on the schedule)


Big thanks to Hoover and Geraldo for covering for me while I was out with the man-flu, and for trusting that I would actually show up this morning. Have a sensational week, my brothers!


A final text from Sprockets with advice to “Better double-alarm-clock this one” ensured that YHC got no
sleep the night before his VQ. However, that’s a small price to pay compared to the ridicule and
torment the PAX would have put me through had an alarm not went off.
23 brave PAX joined for the first time Q at Hydra. Scratch and Win brought a guest and after YHC gave
the memorized disclaimer and got the nod from Sprockets, we were off:
– Mosey to the West Olde Providence Elementary and circle up for:
o 15 Side-Straddle Hops (IC)
o 15 Imperial Walkers (IC)
o 15 Low Slow Squats (IC)
o 15 Mountain Climbers (IC)
– After messing up on counting during Mountain Climbers, YHC took in the ridicule from the PAX,
recovered, and we Moseyed back to the East parking lot.
The Thang:
After much debate, I heeded the advice of our site-Qs and kept it simple for this first workout:
– 4 Corners
o 3 loops (10/20/30 of each exercise per round) – Plank up between each round to wait
on the 6)
 Corner 1 (Benches on East corner of school) – Step-ups (each leg)
 Corner 2 (Benches on West corner of school) – Derkins
 Corner 3 (Basketball Court) – Jump Squats
 Corner 4 (North End of Launch Parking Lot) – Carolina Dry Docks

– Mosey to the Church parking lot and grab a running rock (YHC drowned out the groans that
were coming from the PAX and pressed forward)
o Take a NASCAR (yes, only left turns) loop around the church neighborhood doing 10
curls & 10 triceps press at every other stoplight

o Some Mary was done in the parking lot as we gathered up the 6, then Lunge-walked the
driveway to Rea Road, much to the chagrin of the PAX, before moseying back to the

– 5 Minutes of Mary (Can a former swimmer lead a workout without some Flutter? I think not!)
No announcements and a big shout out to Snowflake for the prayer takeout.
Many thank to Gummy and Sprockets for the opportunity to lead and do this VQ at home. You both
were instrumental in the leadup and execution today. Thank you. Great effort this morning by some
solid men. After discovering the hidden Reebok logo on his hat, there was little debate that our FNG,
brought out by Scratch and Win, and Nike Golf Pro would be named Reebok and forever be known by
his company’s competition.
Reebok, this is a great group and you’ve already taken the first step in posting. Looking forward to
seeing you at a future Hydra workout.
Nobody injured, nobody lost, and we broke in FNG Pete (aka Reebok)……that’s success in my book.


Olde Providence Elementary Center For Children Who Can’t Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too

Despite forecasts of a cataclysmic F5 Tornado by Brad Panovich and a community uprising to cancel or postpone a centuries-old holiday tradition of dressing like an imbecile and rotting our teeth out, a collection of “lucky 13” pax gathered in the steambath that is South Charlotte in late October to start our Halloween the old fashioned way… by participating in a bootcamp that would surely be a “Thriller”. Our Special Guest, Derek Zoolandar, arrived looking really, really ridiculously good-looking and ready to lead the pax on a neighborhood tour of holiday decorations (but we only made left-hand turns). Let’s party…

1.     COP in bus lot

o    IW.s

o    LSS.

o    Mtn Climbers

o    True Americans (6-ct)

  • SSH (accelerate)
  • Commence tour of Chadwyck Farms…

o    Plank, Mary, Regroup

·         10 squats and 10 True Americans – run to the inflatable skeleton

o    Plank, Mary, Regroup

·         20 squats and 20 True Americans – run to the purple tombstone

o    Plank, Mary, Regroup

·         Triple Nickle (up to spider web and back)

o    10 SMCs at the bottom

o    10 CDDs at the top

  • Huddle for assignment – Mission: Petty Vandalism

·         Sprint back to first inflatable, then return to start with various Plank/Mary/Merkin stops to regroup

  • 3 minutes of Mary
  • 10 burpees OYO
  • Dunskies


  • Slingshot was prompt and diligent in his 3rd-ever F3 post… seems to be drinking the F3 Koolaid by the gallon
  • IHOP made his 2nd appearance ever (the 1st being 6 years ago). We look forward to having you back out in 2025
  • One Eye seems to have gone for a pre- and post- run, but hey, what else does the slacker have to do during his “garden leave” funemployment (congrats on the new gig!)
  • Queen looked 20 years younger with his clean-shaven babyface… (now if he can only borrow some muscles for his “Mr. Clean” Halloween costume)
  • Pop Tart is the only pax who appears to have gotten the memo that today was Halloween… but something tells me he didn’t have to dig too far into his wardrobe to dig out a mullet and wifebeater
  • Hopper was the only “respect”able pax in attendance. Congrats. (Each morning this side of the dirt is a blessing.)
  • Marge was crushing it up front on the hill work while counting down the days until his dude’s trip to Scotland (246)
  • Puddin’ Pop was unusually quiet today, unsupported by his 2 Trifusenik compatriots (then again, threats of rain tend to separate the men from the boys).
  • Gummy disappointed royally by leaving his purple gorilla suit at home, but he did help herd the pax through the labyrinth of Chadwyck/Wessex and ensure that we actually got back on time, so perhaps he earned his pay after all.
  • Clover, Jet Fuel & Mailman quietly and humbly put in solid work today

Our original “Special Guest” was supposed to be our beloved Cheese Curd, but he had to flake last week due to a lingering ab injury he sustained by laughing at his own jokes. In order to show him a sign of our affection, we did a bit of decoration rearranging in his yard. (Little did we know that the guy has more surveillance cameras than Fort Knox, and we were busted before we began.) Thankfully, no ghosts were harmed in the making of this post… just our relationship with Curd, which I’m willing to sacrifice.

No announcements of material significance were shared. Contact Pop Tart for details on the F3 Thanksgiving Party.

Thanks to everyone for dragging themselves out of the fartsack to enjoy a little bro-time with me this morning. YHC had been fighting the crud for almost 3 weeks, and I have to admit I really missed you guys. You always get my day started off the right way.

Purple Haze on Q next week, coming out of boot camp retirement to (in his words) give the people what they want… what they really, really want.


The Thang:


SSH X 25

IW X 20

Low Slow Squat X 10

Slow Merkin X 10

Over to the Playground and partner up:

Partner One runs around the school

Partner Two does reps of 15 air squats, 10 merkins, 5 pull ups

Repeat for 3 sets

Over to the big tree with the benches:

Partner One run down the sidewalk to front of the other parking lot

Partner Two does 12 step ups each leg, 12 dips, and 12 durkins

Over to the small field.

15 merkins, then run 50 yards

15 lbcs then run 50 yards

12 Carolina dry docs then run 50 yards

12 heals to heaven then run 50 yards

12 diamond merkins then run 50 yards

12 lbcs then run 50 yards

10 wide arm merkins then run 50 yards

12 Russian twists each side then run 50 yards

All you got for 50 yards

All you got or all you care to give for 50 yards

Back to the launch site:

15 merkins


Good solid group of 23 strong showing up even with the temperature dipping below 50 degrees. I’m officially announcing the end of the longest summer on Charlotte record.

The first group running took off like gang busters. I would give credit to some of those guys, but I don’t know who they were, they were too far in front of me. #notsustainablefor45minutes.

I was worried with a big group that there wouldn’t be enough room to do pull-ups. That concern quickly vanished when I realized that I was one of only about 3 or 4 guys that were actually doing them. We don’t do burpees any more, we don’t do jumping jacks, we don’t do pullups. This is very, very, sad.

I’m listing that smaller field as 50 yards. It might be smaller, but I’m rounding up. The last two runs were supposed to be All-You-Gots, they became All-Your-Willing To Gives.

It’s amazing how quick Gloss is able to do his ab exercises. He was finished with his crunches before most of us had done more than two or three. That’s impressive.

Introducing FHG Juicy. Spacker brought him over, so that’s obviously one quick character strike against him, but he did actually seem like a pretty decent guy. No announcements other than BRR coming in 11 months. Thanks for Sprockets and Gummy for giving me the opportunity to lead.

Welcome to the Jungle

When YHC got the last minute invite yesterday to SubstiQ for an injured Leprechaun, I immediately jumped to action, assuming he’d hurt himself valiantly while rescuing some innocent creature from some perilous situation. (Nope, he hurt his knee at Carowinds). #wondedwarrior

Nevertheless, ~17 pax gathered to support YHC in his 7th VQ. Everyone was questioning the fanny pack that was suspended securely above my junk (and many references were made to an SNL skit featuring the most romantic gift a man could ever give to his loved one…. In a box). Once fully disclaimed, YHC extended a formal “Welcome” to the pax…. Yes, “Welcome……. To the jungle.” (queue jammy pack). Let’s roll…

  • Mosey to COP
  • 20 IWs
  • 20 LSSs
  • 20 Mtn Climbers

Jam on… to the turf. Karaoke, buttkickers, circle up mid-field for that lesser-known Schwarzenegger film… The Escalator (routine and the following details stolen from that crusty old curmudgeon we refer to as “Champagne”:

Instructions provided slowly and in triplicate to ensure everyone was on the same page.

5 squats, 5 wide arm merkins, 5 heels to heaven, 5 burpees – run to other end of field (approx 50 yards)

10 squats, 10 wide arm merkins, 10 heels to heaven, 10 burpees – 50 yard run

15 squats, 15 wide arm merkins, 15 heels to heaven, 15 burpees – 50 yard run

20 squats, 20 wide arm merkins, 20 heels to heaven, 20 burpees – 50 yard run

25 squats, 25 wide arm merkins, 25 heels to heaven, 25 burpees – 50 yard run

20 squats, 20 wide arm merkins, 20 heels to heaven, 20 burpees – 50 yard run

15 squats, 15 wide arm merkins, 15 heels to heaven, 15 burpees – 50 yard run

10 squats, 10 wide arm merkins, 10 heels to heaven, 10 burpees – 50 yard run

5 squats, 5 wide arm merkins, 5 heels to heaven, 5 burpees – Finished

Solid basic old school meat and potatoes workout this am.  Escalator is no joke and leaves a mark.  A grind from beginning to end.  For those keeping score, it was 125 of all called exercises and approximately 400 yards of AYG.  And (most) everyone was crushing it and pushing themselves. Trifuseniks were in full effect, finishing at the front of the pax in impressive fashion doing “everything but the burpees.” Then again, Puddin’ pointed out to me when Bobby Brown came on that I was playing their theme song… “My Prerogative.” Touché, amigo.

Mary for the 6

Plank o rama

Elbow plankjacks

Jam on… to the bridge

Partner up and grab a rock per couple…. Catch me if you can around the track with the laggard doing 10 CDDs.

Back to the wall for people’s chair… some 1 leggeds, toes on the wall…. Hold… toe taps

Back to start for some Freddy Mercs, Sweat Angels, and 10 burpees OYO. DONE.

·         Moleskin

  • Scratch n Win claims that Appetite for Destruction was the greatest album of all time. (It’s hard to refute)
  • Limey asked YHC if I had 3 Red Bulls this morning. (Nope, just a strong dose of FREEDOM when I woke up)
  • Pop Tart was seen carrying at least 2 rocks at a time around the track, while Hops was seen empty-handed. #teamworkmakesthedreamwork
  • YHC experienced a brief moment of panic while searching for the perfect name for our FNG… a former collegiate swimmer with a nut allergy. Settled on “Epi Pen”, but YHC promptly experienced remorse for a name that is admittedly weak sauce when there were countless Speedo references to be had. YHC consulted with A51 Godfather Hops on the statute of limitations for name changes, and apparently we’re still within the window. While the crowd was clearly pushing for “Banana Hammock”, the name presented far too many syllables. When asked what the FNG used to shave his body, he responded with a “Mach 3” (a solid nickname replacement), but then Hops and I settled on it… the evil step-cousin of the Speedo… the “Slingshot” (yes, the man-kini made famous by Borat, everyone’s favorite Kazakhstanian.) Done. Settled. Immortalized. Welcome, Slingshot.


  1. Bring coats
  2. Christmas party is before Thanksgiving this year, and we’re inviting a bunch of SOBs
  3. Shameless plug for WAMRAP

It was truly a pleasure this morn. Shout-out to Scratch for the solid send-off!

She’s a brick. (duh-duh-duuuuh-duh) HOUSE

14 brave young soldiers tested the elements of trench warfare and battled through the morning to complete another session of the RockZero. Here’s how it went down…

  1. Mosey west for COP. Gummy  
    1. Straight-leg toe touch kicks
    1. Peter Parkers (Gummy commented that this order of events was a bit random. YHC assured him that things would get much more random before the morning ended)
    1. Merkins  
    1. LSSs
    1. 10 burpees OYO
  2. Mosey to the NW field for the onset of trenchfoot. YHC warned that things were about to get sloppy, but could never anticipated the level of bellyachin’ that would ensue. McGee led the lobbyist group to pursue drier turf and implored to learn why YHC would select such a moist venue. (as if aggravating McGee isn’t reason enough for such an act). Plank for instructions… 4 Corners with 20 reps of each exercise and 5 burpees b/t each round
    1. Merkins
    1. Jump squat
    1. CDD
    1. WWII situps
  3. Mosey backward uphill to the hotbox and grab 2 bricks each. Repeat the following set 3X
    1. 1 min Wall sit with brick shoulder presses in cadence
    1. 10 American Hammers with the brick
    1. 10 low slow abyss merkins with hands on the bricks
    1. 10 reverse flies with bricks…. Then hold for 10ct
    1. Front raise (hold) for good measure
  4. Mosey to the rock pile and grab a respectable 20-rep rock, then line-up abreast in the lot and repeat the following 3x
    1. 10 low slow curls in cadence
    1. 20+ presses in cadence (YHC may have accidentally doubled the first round and failed prematurely. Oops. You’re welcome for the extra value to your morning)
    1. 10 tri extensions in cadence
    1. Lunge with rock to the median
    1. Mosey a lap for some active recovery
  5. Mosey to the goose field and plank up for instructions on the patented “a$$ wrecker” combo (repeated 3X. For those of you who’ve attended a Hawks Nest post under my Qship, you’re well familiar with this)
    1. 20 SMCs
    1. 20 Bonnie Blairs
    1. 20 Mtn Climbers
    1. Run to the wall and back (admittedly longer distance than it looks to the naked eye)
  6. Mosey back to start for some flutter, LBCs, and 10 burpees OYO. DONE.

Announcements: Prayers for Strange Brew, who’s suffering from meningitis.


  • Geraldo, thanks for the online promotion leading up to the morning and advising people “not to touch my M”. Much appreciated
  • O’Tannenbaum, great to see you again this morning. Thanks for mentioning that the last time you posted, I was Q’ing. Either you’re stalking me, or you need to post more often. Looking fwd to the next.
  • Double E & Boxtruck, great to meet you both. Come back soon.
  • BLC, thanks for the suggestion about the Knolls. I’m always open to feedback, and as you can see, I rarely acknowledge or act upon it.
  • Baywatch, thanks for accompanying me on the scouting. I promise to add more Olympic style lifting and 4-minute rests next time (see note above about about feedback).
  • Witch Doctor, solid work today with nary a word of gripe, and thanks for letting us know about Strange Brew.
  • Boerewors, I’ll talk to the M about your business request, but as noted above, no touching.
  • Horsehead, thank you for demonstrating leadership by leveraging the disclaimer “modify as necessary” to the hilt. Someone told me you did a 4-6mile pre-run, so I suppose that gives you leverage.
  • Boondock, thank you for being the most mature of the entire pax
  • Hops, thanks for the solid send-off.

Beware the Bonnie Blair!

~17 pax gathered to support YHC in his 6th VQ. The temperature was well above freezing, but we centered our theme on ice (like the water running through Hammer’s veins)

  • Mosey to COP

o    Some I.W.s

o    Some L.S.S.s

o    Some True Americans (hand-release merkin plank jack)… apparently Hops is the only person who can handle a 6-count exercise… the rest of the pax were utterly befuddled.

o    Hacky Sack.. this is the time on Sprockets when we dance! (Or when everyone stands around and watches YHC dance)

·         Mosey to center of the cushy turf field

o    YHC asked the pax which 4 U.S. states comprise the 4 Corners nat’l monument. Hannibal nailed 3 of 4 (NM, AZ, CO), and thankfully someone bailed us out with a “Utah!” or we’d all still be in high plank. The jam went like this…

o    5 burpees before, b/t, and after each set

o    Merkins

o    Jump Squats

o    CDDs

o    Big Boy Situps

o    Bear crawl or crab walk to the corner, mosey back to center (diagonals got LONNNNNGGGG by the 3 round!)

·         Mary at center field

  • Bridge (hold!) –
  • Take the scenic route through enchanted forest to the track and circle up for some more Mary

The patented “a$$ wrecker” (I told everyone they’d know why it’s called that tomorrow morning when they go to sit down on the toilet)… I heard some raucous laughter from the pax and realize…. That’s not exactly what I meant, but whatever.

o    20 SMCs

o    20 skater lunges (“Bonnie Blairs”)… (5 time Olympic gold medalist and native of Champagne, IL, Hops’ hometown)

  • 20 Mtn climbers
    • Run 400
  • Repeat 3 times with mary in b/t

Line up on the waterfall line… just enough time for 400 AYG, then back to start.

5 burpee OYO (yes, while YHC goes to get his phone)

·         Moleskin

Puddin’ felt the need to bring into question Bonnie Blair’s $exual orientation. (But then again, many of us question that of Puddin’)

Welcome Homer! (Hawks Nest 1st-timer)

·         Thank you, Sardine, for keeping me informed of when the 6 was in

·         Thank you, La-Z-Boy, for initiating the 400, or we’d all still be on the line

·         Pop Tart clearly sandbagged for 57 mins, b/c he crushed the 400… the kid’s got wheels when we wants to

·         Floorslapper, I don’t know when or how you found us, but glad you did

·         Hopper for informed us that his PT said CDDs are the “dumbest exercise on earth” (cool, I’ll be sure to double them next time)


  1. Hopper is taking on co-site Q of Hawks Nest
  2. Paintball ain’t happenin
  3. Beer mile is happenin
  4. Prayer for Goonie’s sister whose unborn baby is facing a serious medical condition

It was truly a pleasure this morn. Shout-out to Hops for the solid send-off!

Double Coupon Thursday

22 Pax showed up on this humid May morning
The Thang:After a warmup up lap around OPES, i dropped the tailgate on Big Red to reveal 6 coupons (oak and maple logs).  Broke down in groups of 4 and 5 pax and ran down Rea carrying the coupon, handing off to other PAX as necessary, until we reached the canon.  Dropped the coupons at the top of the hill.-50 LBC-Top of hill, 5 each side reverse lunge, run down the hill to canon, 5 jump squats, rinse and repeat 4 times

Pick up coupons (Semi gloss was upset someone dropped his coupon in the wet grass) and started running down the hill, hang a left at the stop sign and up Castle Gate to to next stop sign and dropped coupons.
50 mtn climbers
Picked up coupons. Left on Knightswood, right on Foxworth, stopped at the end of Foxworth where we weren’t likely to get run over by a car.  Dropped coupons.
-Mini Merkin Death Spiral: 10 merkins, rest, 20 merkins, rest, 30 merkins, rest, 20 merkins, rest, 10 merkins.

Pick up Coupons and head up Windyrush, right on Rea back to OPES.  Deposited coupons back in Big Red.  Walked over to the school entrance.
-Peoples Chair (alternating air presses and derkins)
Announcements:June 7th, Beer mile, details to come
June 8th Paintball, details to come
Nice job on the take out Sprockets!
Observations:-No one carries a coupon on their shoulder like Puddin’ Pup.  Nice Work!-Gummy is not afraid to volunteer a time check..Guess he was in a hurry-like the new site Qs, bigly job so far (keep it up, you’ve got biglier shoes to fill [shout out to Queen and Marge] ).  

Announcements:June 7th, Beer mile, details to come
June 8th Paintball, details to come

Sacky Hackin’

The 5:29am PSA that YHC would be substit-q-ing for A51 Godfather, Hops, was met immediately with 20 forlorn looks of concern, confusion, and disappointment. Not sure what to make of all that (and rather than unpack everyone’s true feelings on the matter), we mosied.

1/2 way up to the COP, Scratch n Win casually mentioned that he plans to jump out of a plane on his 40th birthday (because clearly there’s nothing worth living for after that point). Being duly uplifted, we circled up…

  • SSHs = 40, in exponentially accelerating fashion, demonstrating that things only gain speed as we approach that arbitrary number. (Deep. Metaphorical. ponder that one)
  • Mtn Climbers = 20 (life is a mountain… climbing to our peak at 21?)
  • Hand Release Merkin – getting down close to mother earth (ok, that’s a stretch… it was asphalt)
  • Hacky Sack X 10 (more on this later… it’s too soon for me to re-live at the moment)
  • Mosey to the Turf Field
    • Lap around the field with karaoke, buttkickers, highsteppers
    • bear crawl to the 50, lunge walk to the end (thanks to all who refuted the hacky sackin’)
    • Find a partner of similar


and Line up for partner plank-a-thon

  • Plank for instructions (or disregard me completely and take off like a bat out of heck. Whatever)
  • Partner Plank Curls (15)/flapjack… run across field. Repeat/return
  • Partner Plank Merkins (15)/flapjack… run across field. Repeat/return
  • Partner Plank big boy situps(15)/flapjack… run across field. Repeat/return
  • Partner Plank jumpovers(15)/flapjack… run across field. Repeat/return

Mary at center field (thanks to whoever led the effort here)

  • Flutters?
  • H2Hs?
  • Freddy Mercs
  • “reverse plank” aka “Bridge” (hold!) – you and your back have my 5-year-old’s gymnastics instructor to thank for this one
  • Mosey to the Track for a “miracle mile”
    • Plank for instructions… or, if you’re Puddin’ Pop, correct my mention of “yards” with “meters” (Listen here, communist, here in America we don’t put up with logical international units of measure! You probably like the kind of “football” where people use their FEET to move the ball, don’t ye!?. Best check your citizenship, fool)
    • Run 100 + 10 air squats
    • Run 200 + 20 air squats
    • Run 300 + 30 air squats
    • Run 400 + 40 air squats
    • Run 300 + 30 merkins
    • Run 200 + 20 merkins
      • It was right about here that Charlotte native and NASCAR aficionado, PopTart, slung out of Brushback’s slipstream into the passing lane and sprinted to the finish line. Well played. Now you get to plank longer than anyone.
    • Run 100 + 10 merkins
    • Plank-o-rama
  • Wall w/ Rock
    • 20 presses in chair
    • Toes on wall (20 hipslappers)
    • 20 curls in chair
    • Toes on wall (20 hipslappers)
  • Return to start:
    • Freddy Mercs
    • 10 burpees OYO


  • Revlon nearly ran me off Providence Road en route to his favorite parking spot. (That’s the kind of competitive spirit I like to see at 5:20am!)
  • Deep Dish continues to hold vehemently to his personal 40-degree rule (Hey, you do you, Iceman. You’ve got me excited for spring… great to see you this morning 😉
  • Semi-Gloss and Prohibition continue to subscribe to the same Stitch Fix consultant (#twinsies!)
  • Mad, it was an honor meeting you and sharing an inordinate amount of physical contact with you. Hope to see you back soon.
  • Daylight Savings Time seems to have affected Purple Haze’s watch by not hours, but minutes. Fast Twitch joined us somewhere b/t 6:17 and 6:18. By that time, Bugeater and Billygoat had already started in on their 2nd bloody marys.
  • The debut of the “hacky sack” exercise was met with a wide variety of reactions and near-injuries. Leprechaun seemed to take to it like the Irish jigs of his motherland. Meanwhile, I caught Rachel staring at me like I had a cucumber growing out of my head (perhaps he’s still nursing that shoulder, and this is off the PT list). Regardless, this is the time on Sprockets when we dance! Expect many more exercises in this genre. Next time… the worm.


  • Hops pulled a calf, and Runstopper’s wife, Jenae, has surgery this week. Prayers for quick healing for both.