15 (you know who you are) escaped the comfort of their cool and crisp homes for the warm, moist blanket known as Hawksnest. It was a special morning.
Disclaimed to the best of my abilities.
Jogged down to the track for a quick warm up on IW’s, LSQ’s and MC’s.
Parter up starting on the track on about the 50 yard line. Partner 1 runs one way around track and up the path to the field house. Partner 2 the opposite. Combined 50 merkins at the top. Meet back at bottom for combined 50 dips. 3 sets of this.
Mosey to soccer fields for 4 corners of stomache’ work x 2. ‘We’ did flutters, dolly, rosalitas, backscratchers and H2H. If you did them right you did 90 of each except for H2H where you did 120 reps.
Mosey down hill towards parking lot stopping short for 7’s. Merkins and Jump Squats
Finished with a couple extra credit Mary reps while we didn’t wait on FT guys.
Close to 3 miles by my watch.
What a beautiful morning. 76 degrees. High humidity. Glorious. Expected a cast of characters and they didn’t disappoint. What started out very cordial pretty much stayed that way throughout minus a few outbursts. Gloss began with apologizing for coming in hot as he wasn’t satisfied with his poop this morning. Too much cheese yesterday. Chelms graced us with his presence so obviously I had to ask him his thoughts on Epstein. Before he could say a word, Gloss makes the outstanding observation that if there is one thing that Republicans and Democrats can finally agree on it’s that Epstein didn’t commit suicide and that the FBI will not get to the bottom of it, ever.
Enough of the politikin.
#SpackledPuddinGloss was in full effect today with one of the triplets at the helm. None of the 3 disappointed with their lackluster performance. What wasn’t lackluster was Beto’s (aka Deep Dish’s), adherence to commands. He lives by the saying, “if ya ain’t trying yer cheating” which goes against everything in the Trifusenik Guide to Life Success – pg 2 halfway down.
Good to see Motorboat continue to fall for Gloss’s tricks as he carpooled yet again to HN. You should have seen those sweaty messes squeeze into Gloss tiny Acura after the workout. Can only imagine the fromunda that radiates from the interior. And if Motorboat doesn’t start shaking his head and making the motorboat noise soon during name-o-rama I’m calling for a name change.
Jet Fuel is back from the Japanese Youth World Cup of Baseball held in Houma, Louisiana of all places. His son and their team, The South Park Indians, won the whole damn thing. JF’s son was named MVP.
Pop Tart shared his disappointment that today wasn’t easy. No, no it wasn’t. But you could have made it so. The group isn’t closed – #SpackledPuddinGlossPopTart.
Whoever the hero from FT was that bum rushed the circle during announcements. Kudos to you kid. Way to finish strong.
Check Slack or the The Twitter for Labor Day convergence stuff. I just heard it was in Egypt and toned it out.
Sat 8am – Chelms and Barracuda will be on WFNZ radio talking about how to “Put Tools in Schools”. Or something to that matter.
Aug 30th – Sandbox – Concord Prom event – need volunteers to push kids in wheelchairs down the red carpet. Check Slack
8 participated in my annual Meathead Q
We warmed up. 10 swings, 10 merkins, 9 swings, 9 tea bags, 8 swings, 8 merkins, 7 swings, 7 tea bags – you get the drift.
Split into 4 groups with Group 4 being the timer by walking their KB how they see fit around the parking lot while the other groups do their sh*t.
Group 1 – 20 shoulder press: 25 swings: 15 lawnmower; Burn out set of curls
Group 2 – 20 american hammer: 20 chest press: 20 crunches w KB: Burn out set of cleans
Group 3 – 10 squat press: 10 snatches each arm: 15 tricep ext: Burn out set of something
That’s all we did round and round for 45 min.
The Skinny Margarita nobody likes
“Meathead?” Really?” – This was the text I get from Horsehead on Wednesday. Yeah man, I’m a wanted man. Things. Many Things. He proceeds to not show bc of a white knuckler the Knights had against the Trash Pandas on Wed night. Pretty impressive actually. And all this time I thought he didn’t gamble.
Gotta give credit where credit is due to Orange Whip. As I said, I’m no regular at Meathead. I need running to keep my beer gut and man titties in check. So when tapped I proceeded to take a look back to 2017 where something like performed today was put on by Orange Whip. However, no doubt my music was better. Get better soon OW!
Speaking of music – talk about pressure. Will TR show up or won’t he? Eminem? Too explicit for TR. John Denver? Well he sucks. Why not go with the ole trusty 80’s rock. Done. Felt even more confident in my choices whilst putting together the playlist the other night. Playing each song out loud my oldest (11) son screams, “This music blows Dad!” Watch your mouth son.
Don’t get to see Soul Glow much anymore except when I come to Meathead. He shows up late Tripping Billies and looks like he ate, drank and was quite merry. He admitted he almost backed out and left when he thought we were doing burpees during the warm up. Dude. It’s me.
Stone Cold was Stone Cold. He dug the music.
Queue the Top Gun theme song – Schmedium brings up the sequel that’s coming out. For the record, I know I will waste my money to see it and be completely disappointed. Schmed’s evidently still has a huge crush on Kelly McGillis. Do me a favor and search “Kelly McGillis now” today. You are welcome. Let’s find you another crush Schmeds.
Was good getting to know Swift during our long walks around the parking lot today. He made sure I knew he didn’t like Taylor Swift within the 1st two minutes of chatter. I was dying to make fun of his KB until I found out he had a back issue from playing ball at Bill & Mary. He very well could have been there while I was betting on their opponents to cover each game. That was a good year.
Good to see Wild Turkey. Brought 2 bells and used the lighter one. #winning. He hates Top Gun but is a big fan of Creed 2. Don’t know Victoria or Box Cutter all that well. Let’s be honest they are probably better off.
Was a pleasure. See you boys in about 8 months.
Pray for the continued healing of Strange Brew
It was 9pm on a Tuesday and this middle aged, close head shaven Croat was still a bit tired following Puddin’s beatdown earlier at HawksNest. Told Puddin I seriously almost fainted I was so dizzy during name-o-rama. Then again, the same thing happened this morning so who knows? I blame it on the lack of Pamplemousse. I digress. So at 9pm, the plan was to take the crew over to Five Knolls and crush any small talk, (of which there was little today to speak of anyway) however I got a text from Voodoo wanting to join armies over at Davie. Sold. Nighty night.
Arrive at the AO to the normal meet n greet, circle jerk kind of thing and Tag-a-long says he swore he saw Mermaid stop and pick up a little boy at the entrance to Calvary. Here goes the weird looks and “what exactly do you mean by little boy” talk. Couldn’t be Mermaid. Please God no. I mean he probably gives that warning message all the time at Providence High. But after asking for the secret word (that Mermaid somehow got right) the kid willingly hops into Mermaids car and he drops him to his vehicle with the blown out tire on the other side of the parking lot. Sound sketchy? Stay with me.
So Mermaid get’s over to the rest of us at 5:28 and shares a shorter version of above and says Who is leading today? Who is leading today?! Damn it Mermaid. So I’m like yeah I am so I guess we need to go over there and help? Shot a quick text to Voodoo telling him change of plans most likely. Short, flustered disclaimer given which BTW covered nothing about liability for F3, myself, Calvary nor the site Q’s. My apologies gentlemen. We had more important things to get to though. As in being heroes or maybe aiding and abetting? Who knows.
We head over and find this 4 foot tall 16 yr old (no way he was over 12) next to his blown out (and I mean demolished) front right tire. Not to mention is was like a damn yard sale out there. He had taken all the crap he owned out of his trunk and or backseat and it was scattered about all over the parking lot. Furthermore, dude was trying to take the lug nuts off with pliers. Yeah I said it, pliers. Now to be fair, he couldn’t find the tire iron as it was probably still on Mermaids floorboard. So I’m thinking to myself that I hope everybody has some time to get in a work out later in the day bc we are gonna have to help this poor kid out. Not to say he was poor, he was tiny and absolutely clueless though. And he was definitely not 16. Junior at Butler my a**. While my mind was elsewhere I hear Mermaid interrogating the kid about why his parents weren’t answering their phones, where was his license and registration, why he looked like a young “Kid” from Kid n Play or maybe even a real young Lionel Ritchie….. you know all the imperative questions. Not getting any real answers, Mermaid says alright well you hang in there Kid while we get in our workout and we will be back around 6:15. Shocked, but totally 100% agreeable, I led the PAX through a quick warm up and then we darted over to Davie to join Voodoo, albeit a couple minutes late.
The workout happened and if you want to read about it then head over to Voodoo’s Death Valley backblast. Too much stuff to share.
So let’s get back to the story. Post workout instructions given to those willing to help to meet over at Kid Ritchie’s car. I’ll be honest as I was driving over I was thinking quite a few things. #1 – Kid was legit, he’s woken his parents and they are over there helping him. #2 – Kid was legit and he has security from Calvary helping him. #3 – Kid was legit and he has left his car to go find help. #4 – Kid was a felon that stole the car, wrecked it and has now ditched the car. But the real answer is #5 – he’s put away his yard sale and is just sitting in his car. Interesting. So I pull up in my Black Tahoe all slowly, you know, I wanted the kid to think I was a cop and put a little fear of God in the boy. Matter of fact, I think I read that in my owners manual of things to do in sketchy situations.
Seriously though, and no thanks to security at Calvary, as evidently they did show up to tell the kid he was on his own. #t-claps Snowflake, Mermaid, Runstopper, Tag-a-long, Lorax and maybe Brushback (?) show up to help and Runstopper immediately steps into action digging through yard sale items trying to find anything to help. Finally there are 3 jacks on the ground and other items needed to accomplish this normally easy task. Easy? Ha. You should have seen Lorax trying to get the lug nuts off. Pretty sure that was as hard, if not harder, than any of the workout. Admirably, because YHC was literally watching the entire time, Runstopper took over the fatherly duty of making sure Kid Ritchie was watching every step so he could do this himself next time. Yeah next time, as in 15 minutes later, when he ignores the warning that a spare shouldn’t go over 45mph. Mermaid, once again as a successful counselor, interrogated Kid over his schedule of classes for 2019 and highly suggests he sign up for the Automotive Class elective, you know where you can learn about all this sh*t. I was thinking more like the Intro to Life Skills 101 class where Chapter 2 explains that nothing good ever happens after 1am immediately followed by Chapter 3 which clearly explains how you should never ask a stranger for a ride. But what do I know. Kid explains they don’t offer that at Butler. All they have are Sowing and Home Economics. To which I heard Runstopper say, “Well you need those too and you can certainly find some women in those classes”.
Last but not least, the kids parents never ‘answered’ their phone as he said his Dad must be really tired. Oh, and nothing like hearing last minute that he had a brother or cousin with him that went walking towards Providence Road (as Kid pointed towards Carmel) to look for help and he wasn’t answering his phone for the last hour either. Something stinks. Tune into WSOC later today for an update.
10 men, of only a few of which I can remember, came out to run around in circles at The Nest. It was basically 9 dudes with shirts on and one without. It was lovely.
Mosey to Lot P for a warm up lap and some exercises that included merkins, parker peter, dry dogs, IW’s and LSS’s. Officially the longest warm up I’ve Q’d.
Plan was to take it from there off campus for a triple nickel on Grayson Heights Drive but I was already tired so we stopped and did laps around a parking lot with exercises amongst partners. Lot’s of laps – prob 4-5 per partner. 100 merkin/200 dips/300 squats. Ended that portion with some stomach. It was lovely.
Mosey to the rocks. Change up partners. Partner runs up hill to track for 10 MTJ’s. Other does 10 curls/20 triceps/30 push press. Did this 3 times. Ended with one round of burpees and jump squats. This was truly lovely.
Back to lot for lot’s of oblique.
Not sure why but I prefer ‘The Nest’ over ‘Hawksnest’ and I always think of the Will Ferrell scene in Old School with his wife at the therapist. Check my Twitt from earlier today. Hilarious.
Large portion of the workout we discussed Lawrence Phillips beating his girlfriend in college, Brook Berringer dying in a plane crash, getting our conceal carry permits and Gloss ‘knowing’ my body. Yep, 2nd F in it’s finest. A true picture of the invigoration of male community leadership.
Beer Mile and Beer run – Check the slack channels
Some relay race Frasier is pushing on everyone in July. All I heard was mileage and hotel rooms – both of which I know well. Yahtzee.
16 of F3’s finest, minus Bananas, TR and Radar, posted for their weekly sh*t show known as Kevlar, or for today’s purposes, The Pumper.
Disclaimer adequately pronounced
Ran around worst dirt track in Meck County x 2. Circled up for warm up. The norm.
Mosey to Aggasi Court hot box. Partner up. One runs the other does work x 4. Dips/DMerkins/Step Ups/Burpees
We each grabbed schmedium rocks and went down to hill for 11’s and then 7’s. 11’s consisted of The Pumper/Merkins. 7’s – push press and Dry Dogs.
Put rocks back and then Indian ran around school. Finished with partner ab work and sprints.
I know everyone is on the edge of their seat. WTF is The Pumper? Calm your mammaries. Before I go there, I need to tell a quick happening that occured a couple weeks ago. Goes right along with The Pumper theme. So Puddin and I have a mutual friend that throws a huge chili cook-off each year at his house (Think Animal House but with attorneys, insurance salesmen, Vets, hippies, a band and plenty of MILF’s). Quite the scene. So my neighbor and I decide to show up fashionably late and one of the first people we see is Puddin. Well I take that back, first people we saw were doing something sketchy on the front stoop – neither here nor there. Ok so I see Puddin and we are pumped up, doing chest bumps and the sort. We head inside to meet some other folks when an attractive women walks up and Puddin says, “Hey Spack, meet my wife”. To which I politely let her know how much I am a fan of Puddin, giving high fives etc. Next (and maybe last) words out of her mouth were, “He’s a great lay too”. 100% the truth. Jaw dropped. Drop of the mic. DAMN RIGHT PUDDIN. Need I say more??
The Pumper – whilst holding an object between your two hands and out in front of you, positioned roughly waist high (today being a rock), squat down to 90 degrees and thrust yourself back to upright. Form is important but your thrusting technique is of ultra importance. Great workout that many of us certainly don’t get enough of – minus Puddin.
Really there was almost too much commentary today for me to remember. Which was why I politely asked HH to write the backblast but he refused #selfish. Then again, he wouldn’t have known about the aforementioned party. Epic. So go ahead and chime away in the comments. As stated yesterday in my BB, I’m an F3 veteran. Different requirements for us. Go find that in the lexicon qu**Rs. This guy is done for the week. 2 Q’s in 24 hours with completed BB’s – check.
See you guys in a month.
14 pax wished Marge and Queen a happy retirement from their site Q duties. It was truly something special and no doubt they chose the best Q to show them off properly.
Proper disclaimer given.
Mosey to the frosty field for some warm up exercises.
Mosey down Summerlin to the 3rd speed bump for a triple nickel heading back up Summerlin. Merkins and jump squats. #urwelcome
Mosey back to jungle jim. 3 rounds of 10 pull ups, 20 merkins and 30 squats.
Back to field for about 8 rounds of sprints.
May have been a short stint of stomache’ somewhere in there.
I wasn’t planning to write a BB. Partially bc I am a veteran and I don’t care anymore but I also think after 6 years of F3 I’ve earned that right. Plus, HH has made writing BB’s not much fun after reading his post exercise banter. No one stands a chance. Not even HIPAA. Maybe Tiger Rag, but he no longer owns a computer and has permanently switched to a Jitterbug to accommodate his… nevermind I digress.
Most know, partially bc of the fumes expelled today, that I spent the last 3 days roaming the streets de Bourbon, Decatur and Frenchman in New Orleans. There was absolutely zero reason for me to Q today. But I’m a man of my word, most of the time. Come check out Kevlar tomorrow. It will be a sh*t show.
Lots of calls for me to call the Triple Nickel short. I won’t name ‘names’ but Gummy, Gloss, Hannibal to name a few – who weren’t in New Orleans the last 3 days – specifically wanted to cut it. No deal. We all suffered through it. A couple other pax, who I actually don’t know or it was dark and couldn’t tell, were secretly discussing how they were just going to tell the Q they were on #4 when we were really on #3. They didn’t see me lurking in the shadows and I heard every word. The shame. That’s the real reason we did all 5. I wanted to throw up. I think Marge actually did.
Think we lost Puddin to the bushes again. Not sure. He done disappeared.
Sprockets def didn’t spend the last 3 days in New Orleans. He was up front, way up front, the entire time. He was obviously just super duper excited that he was about to be named new site Q I guess. Lot’s of Kool-Aid flowing with him. Perfect for site Q material.
While Gloss did run the entire Trip Nick – he did exactly 3/30 pull ups, 10/60 merkins and about 17 squats. Give him credit though for those 17 squats as those are really going to help his beach bod in Florida this week. Yikes. Clean up on aisle 5 – there is hair everywhere. Yahtzee.
Good luck to Gummy and Sprickety Sprocket as they are the new site Q’s. It’s Gummy’s 19th lateral position change within F3. Congrats buddy. You got this. I see a lot a Yin and Yang between you two so this ought to be very special.
Gloss took us out in prayer and I thank him for that. This I don’t joke about unless, well like today, I’m pretty sure he said the P word during his prayer. We were all witnesses. It was something. Say your Hail Mary’s.
Ok I’m done. Getting bored and this is cutting into cocktail hour. Although I do find this quite therapeutic.
Promises were made. It wouldn’t be raining, we would stay on the pavement and it wouldn’t be leg day. But crazy things can happen at 5am in the morning on the drive to Anvil. I had it all ‘planned’. Well some of it at least. Fine, just a little of it. At the very least, I knew I wasn’t going to start out with what seems to be the least favorite called exercise amongst the pax currently, the vaunted SSH. And there def weren’t going to be burpees because, well, I refuse to do them. Sorry Mermaid and Runstopper. Nope, but the little I did have planned got tossed out the window when making a left onto Rea from Rea. There in his Hi Viz Spalding shirt and LuLu shorts gliding down the sidewalk was HIPAA. “Oh I see, Spackler is leading. Probably won’t get that good of a workout in so I’ll got ahead and get some mileage pre Anvil”. The F*&&*&?! nerve. As Gloss would say, I calmed my Tiattts long enough to get out a gentlemen like, well thought out, effective, probably the best ever in 2019, disclaimer and then we were off.
Mosey to the front of the church
15 IW; 10 merkins, 10 Mnt Climbers, 10 LSS
Mosey to the hill that sucketh – Five Knolls
Partner up for what has become known as The Half Pipe
Partners complete 10 merkins a piece at bottom – Partner 1 runs up Five Knolls and completed 10 squats at top – Partner 2 runs other direction and ‘bangs’ a left onto Wood Whistle and completes 10 squats. Meet back at bottom and repeat going opposite directions – 3 total trips up Five Knolls per pax.
Mosey back with a few stops for stomache’, maybe an air chair was thrown in by the guy with short legs.
To the rock pile for some curls, push press and tea bags for a few min.
Back to cars through some quite moist fields (who knew??) to finish up with more stomache’ – favorite being the vaunted, soul crushing Back Scratchers. #urwelcome and #EADtm.
I know many are patiently waiting for the return of TR. It’s gonna happen soon. Radar, almost had him back. Bounce, gone forever to OT. Spackler, well boys – rumor is true – I’m back for good. Might even have to awaken the Libated Camel. Still waiting on a signature form there. Buckle up.
Listen up – I’m just going to say one thing. That hill BLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWS. “Great Q Five Knolls”. Give credit where it is due. That hill requires short legs, a healthy liver and maybe a above average dose of HGH – none of which YHC possesses……at the moment. Congrats to Haze, who rumor has it can check off all 3 requirements above. Lorax ,Brillo and Snooka (57?!) were others who appeared to perform well. The rest of us just suck. I mean that in the nicest way possible. Don’t let it ruin your day boys.
By the way, it wasn’t raining.
Joe Davis Run – sign up at https://joedavisrun.racesonline.com/
March 23rd – Dash for Down Syndrome in Blakeney. Looking for Speed For Need runners/pushers. Email firstname.lastname@example.org.
It was fantastic for 13 gentlemen and Semi Gloss.
Warm up jog plus some exercises
Speedbump work – wide armed merkins, diamonds, dry dogs – 10 @ each
Mosey to the rock pile at bottom of MH and partner up.
Partner 1 runs while partner 2 does rock work – curls, push press and tricep extensions – 3 rounds
Indian run up and down MH x 2
Hill and stomach work at the hill to the side of the theatre.
YHC at least knew 4-5 of the 14 pax. Solid 35%. That’s what you get when you post SOB twice a year.
Many strong efforts noted but the skinnier Tolkien aka Happy Meal was crushing it
Squid needs some F3 marketing material to hand out – told him to request from Alf
Apparently slippery wet hills are frowned upon – as are back scratchers
BB’s should be 140 words or less. Welcome.
10 came out to Hydra. Er’body got wet.
We ran to HT
Starfish x 2 (20 at each corner – 10 at the center)
1st round – merkins, dry docks, wide arm, diamond – 10 decline at center
2nd round – jump knee tucks, Mary Katherine, Monkey Humpers, Squats – 10 incline at center
Mosey back to church across street from AO for stomache’ and “sprints” – exercises included LBC, H2H, Freddy Mercury, Dolly
Mosey around school back to AO for the jerkin merkin circle
20 LBC in cadence
This was the kind of morning I wish OTF would have been outdoors but it was F3 so I had to stare at a bunch of dudes in wet shirts instead.
I was really hoping to wake up to unrelenting rain and lightning so I could bag the Q. Threatened it yesterday on The Twitter after many post golf libations. Thought I had convinced myself but when I checked the radar during my daily 3am piss it was clear that it wasn’t going to be that bad. Plus I am a man of my word. Deal w it.
Thought about doing partner merkins (hands to partners knees), monkey humpers and firemen carry squats the entire time under cover of the school awning to stay dry, but when I remembered that Gummy and Stone Cold were running in it was clear that plans would change to add some mileage for them. I’m never a selfish Q.
Evidently Jet Fuel works out with his shirt tucked in. All the time. Gummy says he looks like he belongs in a Dick’s Sporting Goods commercial as the family dad frolicking with his kids. I still see him as the odd American in a Japanese Kirin Light commercial winking at a 210 lb Japanese chick over a plate of sticky rice. Konichiwa beetches.
Hopper and I had a few funny moments which won’t be mentioned on here. Let’s just say I see cars coming in a parking lot when it’s dark out and they have their lights on.
Couple flatulent moments out there, thankfully none that I heard or were even close to from Puddin. Ever fart in the shower? That’s what it was like. Hopper wanted to know if you are truly clean if you fart in the shower?
Nobody pushed the “sprints” in my group except for HIPAA, Hopper, HIPAA, Queen and Sleepy. Which leaves YHC. Only Sprockets sprinted in group 2. Stone Cold and Gummy were only thinking about their run home.
Thank you Puddin for taking us out in prayer. Thoughts and prayers to all those in the path of Michael.
None. But still expect some kind of comment from High Tide pushing gear on everyone.
What was 9 could have been 11. Then again last week, which was 8, could have been 9. 9 is greater than 8 which ultimately means that Gloss loses. If you understand the sauce in which I’m stirring then you would have had no problem with the triple dime bag disguised as only a nickel.
Off we went after a brief warning to the Pax.
Station #1 – The track – 10 merkins at the 4 corners
Station #2 – Bleacher work – 10 derkins, 10 step ups, 10 dips
Station #3 – Rock work – 10 curls, 10 overhead press
Station #4 – Parking lot – triple dime bags – squats on one end, dry dogs on the other
That was the loop. We did 3 full loops – touch over 3 miles
One round of stomache’ with each Pax leading an exercise.
4 rounds of wind sprints
Man, lots of stuff going on. So much. Probably too much. I’d check Slack or somebody else’s BB
With one exception, only because I like Stone Cold, watch Twitter for possible game of ultimate Frisbee at Joust on Friday morning.
T claps to Jet Fuel for reminding YHC yesterday, at Hawks Nest, that I was on the schedule today at DV. Get on your games Dolly/Smokey. Alf is pissed and he is the new Assistant Deputy in town.
The damn deer were playing games with us again on the track. For those at FT a few years ago (which was the last time I attended) you know what I am talking about. I offered up both Marge and SC to tackle the damn thing and help it over the fence but they were both scared. I’d a done it myself but I too busy Q’ing.
The triple dime bag – it’s apparently a thing now. And you don’t smoke it but it seems to smoke you. You are welcome.
Not a ton of chatter but I did hear something about Hannibal and a bunch of dudes planning on going up to some cabin aka brothel in the mountains to watch the BRR? I feel I have a pretty good get away game myself but my wife would never buy that. Good luck to you gentlemen.
Thanks to Smokey for the prayer.