Author Archive Scratch & Win

The Cutting Edge & Pamchenko Twist

Earlier this week 11 pax showed up to Hydra a little bummed about not winning the $1.6M Mega Millions, but as promised, everyone’s a winner when YHC is on Q. In keeping with the tradition of always bringing some creative element to a workout, YHC would harken back to a piece of cinematic genius from 1992. Note: Entry of a new exercise in the Lexicon is needed. More on this later. Disclaimer given. Now shut up and skate.

The Thang:

2 laps around small track w/ high knees and butt kickers
Merkins 15x IC
IW 15x IC
Wide-arm Merkins 15x IC
LSS 15x IC
Diamond Merkins 10x (modified b/c it was brutal) IC
Mosey to back playground
Partner up
Partner 1: 5 pull ups; jog to concession stand for 20 step ups; 20 dips
Partner 2: 1 lap around OP Elem
Flap Jack; Rinse and Repeat 3x
Mosey to Wall
Wall sits for 10 count by each pax (110 seconds if my public school math is correct)
Back on the Wall for Air Presses IC 20x
Mosey to open field next to playground
Jack Webb Ladder: factor of 4 to 5/20; Back down ladder to 1/4
Pamchenko twist (explanation and demonstration required) 20xIC. Russian twist on count “1-2”, extend legs and tap fists on ground back behind your head on count “3”. YHC’s 2.0 “Reader Frog” created this new exercise. YHC and Hydra pax were all fans. I think we’ll keep it.
Freddy Mercury 20x IC
Flutter 20x IC
Dolly 20x IC
Mosey back to launch


YHC almost had to bail on his Q, but cleared the calendar and convinced himself that his only posting twice in the past 2.5 weeks wouldn’t stand in his way. Anticipating being in the back (even more than usual) YHC laid out an “on-campus” beatdown that would keep all pax together and not allow YHC’s poor fitness to affect the herd mentality. A consistent amount of mumble chatter throughout which culminated in the group bordering on mutiny during Jack Webb. In an effort to regain control (and because Gummy straight up called the Q out) YHC required a repeat of a few counts until all pax counted in unison and the balance of authority was restored. Highlights for YHC were actually finishing the workout and introducing some new Mary – the Pamchenko twist, the nearly impossible figure skating move proposed by the Russian coach of Kate Moseley and Doug Dorsey. After modifying the Russian Twist – this name seemed like an obvious go to. A nod to the brilliant sports/Rom-Com movie of the early 90’s, there were many calls of “Toe Pick” before and during the new exercise. YHC’s 2.0 Reader Frog gets credit for the  modification and YHC for the naming rights.


Check Slack for Christmas party details in early December. PRAYER NEEDED: Revlon’s dad, David, underwent partial leg amputation and is recovering well. Pray for rehab and continued healing. Most of all David needs prayer that he maintains his joy and emotional, as well as physical, healing.


Can’t sue me or F3…but, can you sue yourself?

Opening Disclaimer: YHC missed a lot of pax and also included many from Fast Twitch. Apologies.

Coming off a strong Q (of 3 pax) at da Vinci a mere three days earlier, YHC was feeling confident about the simple, yet challenging workout he would lay before the pax on a rainy Tuesday morning. Disclaimer given – little did YHC know it would be himself who would test the limits of said disclaimer.

The Thang:

Mosey to track/stadium
– Imperial Walker 20x
– Low Slow Squat 20x
– Slow Merkins 20x
– Peter Parker 20x
– 30 seconds plank
– Indian Run 2 laps
– Plank Line w/ hand slap merkins at each pax until all pax have moved down the line. (no idea what the exercise is called).
– Indian Run 2 laps
– Mary: Dying Cockroach 20x; Flutter 20x; Dolly 20x
Mosey to soccer turf field
– 5 sprints from 18 to 18 (that’s soccer code for 18 yd box to 18 yd box)
– 7 (the number of our Lord) hand release merkins OYO
– 3 sprints from 18 to 18
– 14 LBCs OYO
– 2 sprints (back to back) from 18 to 18. This was the final straw for YHC.
Mosey back to launch while YHC walked slowly w/ a pax whose name YHC cannot recall b/c YHC was so focused on not dying.


A completely bizarre post for YHC. The torrential downpour on the way to the AO had YHC rethinking his entire game plan. Thanks to Bugeater for driving (yet again) and for breaking a minor traffic law on the way home to get YHC back to the house quickly. Disclaimer on the “line up in plank while pax move down the line performing hand slap merkins” – YHC did not plan this for 18 pax. In retrospect, YHC would have called “Omaha” and performed a different exercise. Luckily, the pax – who collectively were much smarter than YHC – choose to do only one hand slap. Very, very wise move. The sprints snuck up on everyone, I think. Mostly on YHC. Busch and Dollywood were crushing it – per the usual. I did glance up once to see Bug way out in front with them. Impressive. Gummy was also regularly bringing some speed and Mermaid is always a frontrunner. The last back to back sprint was not a great call. Upon finishing, all pax except for one headed back to launch while YHC proceeded to try and hurl – only to dry heave himself into a severe esophageal spasm, the symptoms of which can often mimic a heart attack (which YHC would only learn later after being admitted to the ER at CMC Pineville). If you ever want to know what it feels like to have a moderate heart attack and experience a choking sensation b/c your throat closes shut….all at the same time – then the esophageal spasm is the ailment for you. It’s enough to make you examine your life and what you’re going to do with the time you have left. Thanks to Doc McStuffins for bringing YHC back to launch alongside  the mysterious pax who YHC will forever refer to as “Guardian Angel.” Thanks to all the pax who checked on YHC. Luckily, it was a bizarre combo of circumstances that brought on the “episode” and YHC was cleared of any cardiac issues and can return to F3 beatdowns. YHC remains grateful to the brotherhood and prayer that surrounded him. Finally, Revlon – you have the take out next time. #hardofhearing

Announcements: Board changes — Mermaid is stepping down and Alf is stepping in as Nantan for Area 51. T-claps to Mermaid for his leadership.

Ecclesiastes 4:12

“By yourself you’re unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst. Can you round up a third? A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped.” (Message Translation)

Three pax gathered at Da Vinci for a fellowship-filled proper beatdown.

As Bugeater and YHC pulled into the CFA at Blakeney, we questioned whether or not we had the right day and time. YHC inwardly questioned his own faith. Perhaps the rapture had occurred and YHC wasn’t taken up in a glorious ascent. Seeing as the CFA (aka Christian fast-food) restaurant was fully staffed and Bug was still by my side, YHC reassured himself that his salvation was genuine and that YHC hadn’t missed the second coming. And behold an angel appeared before us….Stump Hugger emerging from his parked car to complete the biblically referenced “chord of three.” Disclaimer given and all three pax, befuddled at the size of the group but thankful for the low-key feel of it all, commenced the workout.

The Thang:

Mosey to Blakeney shopping center across the street
– Imperial Walker 10x
– Hillbilly 10x
– Slow Merkins 30x (10 diamond; 10 regular; 10 wide-arm)
– Circuit work: Run up stairs meet at top for 5 squats; run back down and meet for 5 hand-slap merkins. Rinse and Repeat 5x
Mosey to playground
– Circuit work: Run thru grassy area to Sbux door and back; flap jack with pax – pull ups (3 sets), Mary of choice (2 sets) 5x thru total
– 5 Burpees OYO
– 3 exercises of Mary (each pax calls Mary of Choice and Count)
– 10 Burpees OYO
– 3 exercises of Mary (each pax calls Mary of Choice and Count)
– 15 Step-ups (each leg); 20 dips; 10 derkins (rinse and repeat 1x)
Mosey back across Rea Rd to grassy area
– Makhtar N’Diayes (MAC-tar JIE) 10x w/ 30 count of plank at the end (rinse and repeat 3x)
– Jack Webb 7x (the number of our Lord) w/ multiplier of 4
Mosey back to launch


T-claps to Stump Hugger for showing up! Otherwise it may have been Bug and YHC moving straight into coffeeteria. Thus why brotherhood and accountability are so important. YHC was actually thankful for the smaller group and the mumble chatter that accompanied. Stump discussed his professional journey, evidenced by the fact that God’s never early, never late, but always on time. Bug and Stump recalled the days of old when they first began posting and rattled off a list of pax we haven’t seen in forever. Tiger Rag – you are missed, but not forgotten. YHC was happy to add the occasional comment and banter, but was mostly focused on how to audible all the “partner work” he’d come up w/ to adapt to a three pax group while simultaneously keeping his eye on the clock to make sure we paced ourselves well and that the group received a balanced beatdown. Thanks to Bug for the great takeout and for serving as YHC’s personal Uber on the regular. Great coffeeteria followed at CFA. The group was small, but the workout was meaningful. Indeed, a chord of three is not easily broken.

‘Merica – Stars and Stripes…and Sprints

16 pax gathered at DMZ to test their fitness, patriotism, and counting skills. The mumble chatter began the night before on Twitter when Lorax (who shares a last name with YHC) asked if the workout was a “Bring Your Own Bandana.” No doubt a reference to YHC’s signature F3 look. What he didn’t know is that red bandana, adorned with kites, is from YHC’s company – a nonprofit that helps troubled youth. Leave it to Lorax to take a cheap shot at kids who can’t read good. What’s this country coming to?!? Fast forward to the next morning….YHC — adorned with all the USA garb he could dig out of the closet, including a $5 trucker hat (sub the Bandana) he bought at a Georgia rest stop that simply reads “Merica” —  gave the disclaimer and the red,white and blue celebration began.

The Thang:

Circle Up
– Imperial Walker 13x
– Windmill 13x
– Mountain Climbers 13x (hold plank for 13 seconds)
– Peter Parker 10x (YHC was already struggling to count beyond 10…and hold plank for 13 seconds)
– Parker Peter 13x (hold plank for 13 seconds)
– Recover

Mosey to Carmel Middle for some track work
As YHC gives the instructions his voice cracks (from already sucking wind). Semi-Gloss grabs the low hanging fruit of humor with a puberty joke. YHC’s jokes back because Semi has a heart of gold and biceps of steel – so just keep that guy happy.

Divide up into groups of 3 and organize at 2 exercise stations exactly 200M apart on track. YHC makes one group of 4 and gets to have Hops (who originally brought YHC out) as a pacing partner. #F3Homecoming

– Partner 1 – performs exercise in place until relieved by Partner 3
– Partner 2 – runs 200M to meet Partner 3, then performs exercise in place
– Partner 3 – performs exercise in place, waits for Partner 2, then runs 200M to meet Partner 1
Rinse and Repeat until all pax complete 1 mile. YHC realizes this was challenging in theory, painful in actuality.

Merkin & Squat Stations for 800M
Dry Dock & Lunge Stations for 800M

– Perform some Mary for active recovery. Honoring the 50 stars on the flag:
50 Flutters – civilian count
50 American Hammers – civilian count

Mosey back to launch point.
Before departing YHC gives the instruction to plank up and wait for the 6, which he acknowledges will most likely be himself. YHC arrives (only 10 yds in front of the 6 #nailedit) to find Aqua Fresh leading the pax in some Mary. YHC doesn’t know exactly what, but it looks exhausting.

– 2 rounds of People’s Air Presses 50x
YHC asks for any former veterans to call the last exercise. There are none in the group so Site Q Aqua Fresh leads us in the final exercise:
– Elbow plank with toe tap leg lifts 13x


Great take out by Uncle Phil


YHC cannot take full credit for the patriotic homage he laid out as he creatively borrowed the “13” from Mighty Mite’s Da Vinci workout only 2 days prior. Regardless, the day was filled with 50’s and 13’s, paying tribute to the Stars and Stripes that we’ll celebrate come July 4th. Thanks to Revlon for breaking his no-Monday post rule. Lorax looks strong and is always setting the pace and challenges YHC to just simply run faster. Nothing like having a distant relative to push you beyond your limits #CousinRivalry. YHC’s neighbor, Hammer, is also a beast and watching him makes YHC realize that there’s always someone better than you….like everyone. Kirk and Uncle Phil at the front as well, per the usual. Props to Bugeater for being an encourager throughout the workout and to Hops for always having something interesting to discuss while YHC sucks wind. Thanks to Aqua Fresh for volun-telling me to Q. It’s always worth it. Happy 4th of July to all. #Merica


– Lewinsky and M welcomed Baby Charlotte on June 27th. She’s a cutie and her birthday has a special significance for the Clinton family. #GodIsGood.
– Convergence at Independence Park at 6:30a at July 4th. Other AO’s in play for holiday. Check with Mr. Bo & Slaughter – or Twitter or Slack. Race following w/ start point at Toast Dilworth. Speed for Need 1 year Anniversary.
– Sibling Rivalry meets on Tuesday. All running workout at Randolph Middle School, 5:30a launch.