Author Archive Purell

Schweaty Hills

12 PAX for some frothy hill repeats in Raintree.


Quick disclaimer, headed north on Providence, left on Raintree down to gravel lot just shy of Raintree CC for 10 LSS and 10 Hillbillies. Everybody was nice and warmed up thanks to the 200% humidity.

The Thang:

Simple instructions don’t necessarily mean easy. Typically far from it. Start at speedbump at bottom of the hill and up to Four Mile Creek, then back down to the speedbump. Go hard on the way up, recover on the descent. AMRAP. Mosey back to launch for Bulldog’s expedited COT (had to run out as he was hosting England’s 4th place celebration party).


Right about 6.5 miles for everyone and we got between 7.5 – 8 hill repeats in. Impressive feat given the 6% grade on .28 mile uphill and 200% humidity. BRR training at its finest/worst. Mumblechatter was sparse today but I think several expletives with my name were heard. Everyone was grinding hard and getting after it. We lost Margo mid-way through the workout, crab cakes for dinner and FT don’t mix. Hope you are recovered by now. I know the rest of us won’t be for a few days. Thanks for following my lead, as painful as it was, and great work by all!




Friday the 13th meets the Beast

21 men (1 FNG – Sir) couldn’t fade the A51 Slack channel hype all of Thursday afternoon and showed up to name an FNG, and do a few merkins and burpees.


Disclaimer given, thorough enough by my standards, definitely not Mermaid approved.

Quick mosey down Covenant Church Ln to the back of the school circling up where all sidewalks meet in between all the buildings.

COP: 13x Hillbillies (these were awkward), 13x SSH IC, 13x Low Slow Squats IC, 13x diamond merkins IC, 13x Mountain Climbers IC, 13x wide arm merkins IC, plank-orama, 10 burpees

The Thang:

Mosey through campus to the LAX/soccer field to make use of the plush grass. Line up abreast for:

20 Merkins

Bear Crawl to first line (see Bulldog for what these lines are called)

Lunge walk to second line (midfield?)

20 Merkins

Plank and wait for the 6 – which was always Squid because the man has impeccable form, has to be the best in all of F3

AYG to end the end of the field

Repeat once

Mosey to front of church for the Beast: 6 exercises (at each of the 5 medians and last stop top of the hill), 6 reps, 6 times through

Exercises were:

  1. HR Merkin
  2. Jump ups with thigh slaps
  3. Merkin
  4. Sister Mary Catherines
  5. CDD
  6. Burpees

Mosey to the rock pile at Covenant Church Ln and Pleasant Hill Dr. 13x OH Press, 13x curls, 13x tri extension, 13x RDLs each leg. Run to hot box for 13x dips and 13x derkins. Repeat once

Throw the rocks back, head back to camp. 90 seconds to go – plenty of time for 13 burpees. TIME


Area 51 Nantan Mermaid was originally on Q for today but was out of town and asked me to take his lead. YHC was more than happy to, only posted there twice and always happy to Q a new spot. I knew I had big shoes to fill as Mermaid’s 125ish Q’s are not for the faint of heart. The A51 slack channel broke the internet yesterday because Gypsy posted that he was bringing an FNG out(who was a Navy SEAL) and was wondering if Kevlar would be ‘friendly.’ Immediately several PAX representing other AO’s clamored out like vultures on fresh roadkill to sway Gypsy from Kevlar, but Horsehead had already spoken for Kevlar and it was a done deal. At that point the name choices started flying. Fast forward to this morning and after the dust was settled, YHC had to defer to what HH stated was the A51 naming rules: Vets and pastors get cool names, kids pick their own names, pre-existing athletes who ‘still got it’ get girl names, and everyone else gets stupid names. ‘Sir’ seemed fitting… also did I mention he is 6’6”? Also, I’m pretty sure a former SEAL can handle any F3 workout, friendly or not. Except maybe Gumpy… that is my Kryptonite. Seriously. Waking up at 5am to go stretch in ways the body isn’t supposed to. I tweaked my neck trying to put right heel behind my left ear lobe on my M’s pink yoga mat while listening to Yani and trying to ‘be relaxed’. I think it was called the happy rotisserie chicken pose. I know it’s probably good for me but I just can’t, much respect to you all that are good at that and go week in week out.

Mermaid texted me this AM asking how the Q went. I told him we bit off more than we can chew. I don’t think I’m alone on that analysis. It hurt, too many burpees, merkins, sprints, and the hill at the end of the beast right before burpees was a swift repeated kick in the pants.

Solid crew out this morning, with most of the top mumblechatters in the game in attendance. Mumblechatter peaked on the Hillbilly call and when lining up abreast on the field but was stifled quickly. Other than Busch, that dude can rap anytime, any day.

Impressive work out there by everyone, thanks for following my lead and getting your weekend started right. Hope to see Sir back out soon, that was a tough F3 opening workout, baptism by fire.

Thanks to Cottontail for the takeout and thanks to Orange Whip and Faultline for the opportunity to lead.


Speed for Need: VA beach, Aug 18th. First race in VA beach for surfers against autism. 7:30am race launch. See Gypsy for more info.

Church on the street: been going on for 20+ years, every Sunday. Under 12th street overpass at N Tryon serving the homeless. 2.0 and M friendly (Strawberry recommends over 2.0s be 8+ years old). Schedule open after August, clown car available at 6:20, usually home around 8. See Strawberry for more details.

The real Death Valley

7 PAX for a temperature and humidity combo that would make Death Valley, CA blush.


Disclaimed and mosey around the lot to the teacher’s parking lot and back.

COP: 15x SSH IC, 15x IW IC, 15x Low Slow Squat IC, 15x Mountain Climbers IC, planker’s delight upon which Puddin Pop graced us with a 10 count of flatulence so we had to vacate the area for one last exercise: Circle burp ‘n merk – run in place while each PAX takes a turn calling down upon which a burpee with a merkin is performed, adding a merkin with each PAX (glad there were only 7 of us).

The Thang:

Mosey to the rock pile to select a lifting rock.

Do called exercise at the top of the stairs, mosey down the sidewalk to the baseball field bleacher area for next exercise, up the stairs and repeat 3 times through starting with 10 reps on round 1, 20 reps on round 2, and 30 reps on round 3.

-Overhead press up top, dips at the bleachers, bear crawl up the stairs

-Curls, supine pull ups, one legged hops alternating on the flights

-Squats, step ups, bunny hop up the stairs

Couple round of Mary, including Fireman Ed’s ‘egg roll’ move.

Grab the rock and some wall for a modified Jack Webb. In people’s chair do front shoulder raise x1 followed by derkins or Carolina Dry Docks x4, 2×8, 3×12, 4×16, 5×20.

Put the rocks back and mosey to the parking lot for a quick round of suicides at the basketball hoops, stopping for 10 merkins at each basket.



Dollywood reached out to YHC Monday night needing a Q. I was happy to step in and lead these fine men on a sweaty beatdown, although I’m pretty sure we didn’t need to work out to sweat today. It was 99% humidity until Puddin Pop and Fireman Ed starting ripping @ss, then I’m pretty sure it was 100%. Everybody was putting in solid work today and pushing each other. Always good mumble chatter with Horsehead and Fireman Ed in attendance, thanks to Ed for the new Mary idea, although it just led us to talking about Chinese food. Great to meet Hammy for the first time, nice work out there. Was good to get a little more background on the Monday Horsey workout… sounds like we should get Chester out for a workout, Horsehead volunteered to partner with him on partner carries. Geraldo was getting after it, maybe too after it. Was seeing some stars during the rock exercises but I blame it on the air he was breathing. He learned a tough lesson today, never run behind Puddin. Funky cold was cruising as well today, good work!

Thanks to Puddin Pop for the takeout and thanks Dollywood and Smokey for the opportunity to lead.


Continued prayers for Mic Check’s son (he is back home and doing well), Bout Time’s family, and the Providence Day students involved in an accident abroad.

If you know of somebody that used to come out and doesn’t anymore, reach out and check in with them. Some are going through trials and tribulations, as we all have different struggles and levels of struggles in life, but try to keep up with people and reinforce that this band of brothers to lean on in hard times.

Firecracker 4 miler – one year anniversary of Speed for Need over the 4th of July.





Swift track day

18 PAX for the monthly installment of distance based intervals.


Disclaimed which apparently is a new thing at Swift. Guess Brat had a perma-disclaimer in place. Moseyed through the parking lots heading west to Ballantyne Corp. Place road and back through the parking lots ending at the finish line of the 400s for some dynamic stretching, exactly 1 mile.

Heel walks out/in x20, Toe walks out/in x 20, stride out to speed bump

10 lunges each leg, stride out

Hackey sacks x 10 each leg

A skips

Butt kickers as we head to start point

The Thang:

400m repeats with equal rest around the Brixham Green ‘track’. The equal and lengthy rest allows for more recovery which should mean a faster pace for the ‘on’ repeats. We targeted a timed mile pace without sacrificing consistency throughout the intervals. Started with a goal of doing 8, but circled up at the end and did one last bonus quarter as a group before moseying back to the Vine for COT.


I hope Purple Haze and the rest of the Fast Twitch brethren don’t read this… as it’s frowned upon to abandon Twitch for Swift, let alone Q it. Take note that Haze led the troops today at FT as YHC was at the helm at Swift. The writing is on the walls and I think he wants me out. Not sure if Swift allow me back either after serving up some 400 repeats today. Maybe I’ll start taking Tuesday’s off.

Intervals are always brutal, but 400s might be the hardest. They are truly the cornerstone to any training program for any distance, from sprints to ultras and everything in between. Getting through a workout like this is only going to pay dividends to whatever your current fitness goals are. Great to see everyone out there pushing each other in the hot and humid conditions. Awesome work by all of you!

Thanks to Bratwurst for allowing me the opportunity to lead these men today and for the 5am help making sure the track was marked appropriately.


Continued prayers for Dumpster Fire and his family and Mic Check and his family.

Get involved with The Sandbox if at all possible. Looking for help this weekend. Check out slack for more details.

DaVinci looking for Q’s on Saturday mornings at 6:30. Reach out to Fredo or Bucky to get on the schedule.

Honoring Charles Keating IV

9 PAX answered the call this morning to help me in honoring my friend, Navy Seal Charles Keating IV, on the eve of the anniversary of his ultimate sacrifice for our country.


Mosey around the parking lot, rounding up all PAX coming in on two wheels and continue down to the football field for COP.

Side straddle hop x 20 IC

Imperial walker x20 IC

Low slow squat x 20 IC

Mountain climber x 20 IC

Peter parker x 20 IC

Merkin x 20 IC

The Thang:

Century club burpee mile: 100 burpees, 4 laps around the track. Break them up however you want, most opted for 25 at each start of the lap. GO.

Flutter waiting on the six.

Line up abreast on the field, 20 sumo squats, bear crawl across the field, sprint back. 20 sumo squats, broad jump across the field, sprint back.

Dolly x20 IC, pistol crunches x20 IC.

Mosey to the Semi-Gloss’s office (I think it’s still his?), for people’s chair. Regular, right leg high, left leg high, regular.

Time for some Jack Webb: 1 donkey kick and 4 air presses, 2 donkey kicks and 8 air presses, etc. all the way to 10 donkey kicks.

Mosey (or sprint if you are Joker, the man has wheels) to the baseball field bleachers for 20 supines, 20 dips, and 20 lunges. Back up the stairs for 10 merkins, loop, rinse and repeat for 3x through.



Thankfully Dollywood sent me a text last night reminding me of my Q that was scheduled back in December. Otherwise it wasn’t on my radar. I was trying to figure out a way to honor my friend Charlie, and aside from having a couple cold ones, what better way than to share in some downPAINment with my F3 brothers. I genuinely appreciate all of the PAX today, the mile and 100 burpee combo was a tall order but the crew was up to the task. Charlie’s quote below is very applicable to the burpees I think. Thank you all for pushing through this one. I know when Rachel is struggling that it is indeed a beatdown.

Obviously the end of May is Memorial Day, but since 2016 the whole month of May has turned into Memorial Day for me and particularly my younger brother, who was best friends with Charlie. I know many of you have people in your life who have given their life in the military service. Try to incorporate the same courage and strength they exuded while in the line of duty in your day-to-day battles, to be a better spouse, brother, significant other, father, friend, co-worker, and community member. That is a way to truly recognize the personal sacrifices of veterans and active military alike.

Charlie lived that way every day, almost always with a huge goofy smile on his face and work hard, play harder attitude. Thank you CIV and Godspeed.

“Anything worth doing is worth overdoing. Moderation is for cowards.” – Charles Keating IV


A couple links on Charlie’s foundation that supports families of those that answer the call to service and the details of his fight:



No light bulbs will be changed today

7 PAX for the weekly rendition of ‘speedo season is here, time to get some beach muscles.’

SSH x 15 IC

20 Swings

IW x 15 IC

20 R handed swings

Diamond merkin on bell x 10

20 L handed swings

HALO x 5 each way

Prying Squats

THE Thang:

Round 1: Pyramid with reps of 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 8, 6, 4, 2:

One arm:

Sprinter stance swings, clean to lunge, snatch, shoulder press

Switch hands, repeat exercises


Round 2: Pyramid with reps of 2, 4, 6, 8, 6, 4, 2:

Two arm:

Slasher swings to L, slasher swings to R, goblet squat, upright rows, deadlift

Staggered merkin L hand on bell x20

Staggered merkin R hand on bell x20

50 Swings without stopping

20 merkins


This was definitely harder in person than on paper. Somehow I had scripted the workout to have 3 rounds of a pyramid, which would have required a 5:00am start for that, there’s always next time. I always try to bring something new or different into the KB workouts, and the sprinter stance swings and slashers were that today. All the PAX were genuinely concerned about their sack of ‘taters when I demonstrated the sprinter stance swings, although I’m pretty sure the standard swing puts your junk in just as much risk (or maybe I’m just not as well equipped as the rest of the crew). Either way, everyone seemed to walk away unharmed (however properly disclaimed), but fine motor skills will be greatly affected from that beatdown. My forearms are a mess as I write this. Not much chatter today, as the workout didn’t allow for much more than heavy breathing. I think my choice of rock tunes was much preferred to my gangsta rap last time… apparently everyone can’t relate to coming from the mean streets of Bloomington, Indiana.

Funky Cold – Came in and crushed it, no questions asked! Well done!

Alf – Apparently nursing a hamstring injury… could’ve fooled me as he cruising through the pyramid. Hope to see you back at the bootcamps/runs soon!

Tulip – Flew through the rounds this morning. Must be time for a bigger bell! Thanks for the takeout as we headed into our days ahead.

Swiss Miss – Taking the role of High Tide today with more bells than PAX. Great to see you back at Meathead and grinding hard!

Hoover – I’m pretty sure he sleeps with his ruck on. Does someone who is 6’ 8” and 260ish really need to strap on extra weight? Oh and he is doing the Smokey Mountain relays this weekend. Dude is a beast!

Rachel – Don’t want to say anything too complimentary here as there are rumors swirling about the status of our relationship brotherhood. Average work as usual.

Thanks to Voodoo and Witch Doctor for the opportunity to lead at the best 0.0 in all of F3.

Fast twitch, slow backblast

13 PAX showed up ready to venture out in the new AO, despite the promise of no track work (much to Haze’s friend’s disappointment).


Quick disclaimer, have yet to hear anything from Runstopper or Joker’s lawyers so I guess it was adequate (each took a digger during the workout, who knew Fast Twitch was so dangerous).

The Thang:

Mosey east up Raintree Ln, south on Providence, right on Alexa to enter Berkeley neighborhood. End at Alexa and Summerston for further directions. Partner up with similar speed and good looks (hard for anyone to match up with Fault Line in a Mich Ultra shirt). P1 runs down Summerston, left on Oak pond, P2 runs down Alexa . Meet in the middle for 10 hand slap merkins, continue the look at a recovery pace. Sumu squat jumps with both hands touching the ground when partners meet back up. Switch directions and meet in the middle for 10 more HS merkins. Wait for the 6 with some MARY. Next round P1 goes down Alexa turning right on Oak Pond and P2 goes down Summerston turning left on Oak Pond. Last round P1 goes Down Oak Pond until they meet P2 going down Summerston. First loop was about .85 miles, second loop 1 mile, last loop 1.2 miles. Gather the PAX and head down Alexa and AYG to Providence (PAX already said they gave AYG but YHC needed to get the crew back by 6:15 for COT with hawk’s nest). 6 miles on the dot.


Amazingly this was my first Q at Fast Twitch. Not sure how one gets to be site Q with never actually Q’ing, but shows how badly Haze wanted out. Apologies for the late BB, definitely heard some grumbling this week by a few of the PAX. I didn’t realize Haze’s size 9’s were so big to fill… I will get better.

The good thing about this BB being late is I don’t really remember who was there and how they did. And that no one will read it because it is old. Kidding. Sort of. Everyone was out there pushing each other, and I think the new territory was enjoyed by all since they clearly like running fast repeats on hills. Hope you will have me back.

Firemen in training

13 men came to a church parking lot to unexpectedly tug on my fire hose.


Mosey across campus to Life Center.

COP: 15x SSH IC, 15x IW IC, 15 Low Slow Squats, civilian count merkins:

diamond x10

wide arm x10

shoulder width x10

right leg high x10

left leg high x10

peter parker x10

(Insert grumbling and comments about not having to prove myself here)

The Thang:

Mosey to the North Face for some triple nickel: Hand release burpees at the top x5, loop around the hill to the bottom for 5 lunges each leg, 5 total loops. MARY while waiting on the six, extra special thanks to Purple Haze for the 10 count here… it was out of respect, don’t read too much into it. I swear I didn’t lobby for your Fast Twitch Secretary Site Q title.

Mosey to the rock pile by the baseball fields to select a “lifting rock we are going to move.” Mosey with the rock to the avenue of the trees where we were greeted by two 55 pound fire hoses, neatly laid out and ready for fun. PAX split in 2 groups, one person drags the hose to the first light (unless you are Rachel and Brilleaux who had to show us all up), rope pull with alternating arms, then take the hose back to the group. While the group is anxiously waiting their turn with the hose they will perform the following with the rocks:

Shoulder raises x20

Squat thrusters x20

OH press x20

Tea bag squats x20

Tri extensions x20

One legged RDLs x10 each leg

Everyone got a turn with the hose and 3 rounds of rock work in.

Return the rocks, 10 Right arm staggered merkins, 10 left arm staggered merkins, 10 christian laetner merkins, 10 regular merkins. Mosey back to launch, 5 burpees OYO, DONE.



Glad I was able to introduce a majority of the PAX to my fire hoses, courtesy of Gypsy. I will say that this was my 4th workout with them, and they never disappoint and are always good for a beat down. If anyone would like to borrow them, let me know, as the M would love to see them out of the garage. Some good chatter today with highlights being McGee’s butt rash and making fun of Haze. McGee is asking for his kid, or so he says. Sounds just like asking for a friend, just sayin’. Don’t take it personal Haze, I always said if people don’t make fun of you they don’t like you.

Several forms of comments this morning about this not being my first Q, nothing to prove, etc. Thank you all for the flattery, I sincerely appreciate it. I know there are numerous times in the middle of the workouts that we all question why the hell we wake up at the time we do to put ourselves through continuous torture, and there is never a doubt in my mind that it is to mentally and physically better each other through the brotherhood that is created by the shared downpainment. In my mind there is no better way to start the day and I truly appreciate each and every one of the PAX.

Thanks to McGee for the takeout and the opportunity to lead these fine young men.


Pray for the Bout Time’s family as they head off to Nashville and are about to start a marrow transplant from his 5 year old sister Caroline. Amazing courage and selflessness shown by her.

F3 license plates – need at least 300 to gain approval:






March madness at Rock Zero

8 men delayed Irish coffee and grinded out a grisly workout in possibly the best weather seen YTD.


Indian run lap with the 6 doing 5 3 burpees for a loop around the Calvary campus (props to Marlin for starting with 5 but fessed up to doing only 4).

COP: 15x SSH IC, 15x IW IC, 10 Low Slow CDDs (definitely new, not sure if it was appreciated) 15x Low Medium Speed Squat IC, 10 Peter Parker merkins IC, 15 low Plank Jacks IC.

The Thang:

Mosey to the basketball hoops where YHC asked if we had any ballers on hand. Unsurprisingly, no one spoke up, but being that we were right in the middle of March Madness, basketball had to be incorporated. One member of the PAX was given the choice to step up and shoot a layup, free throw, or beyond the arc with appropriate risk-rewards laid out.

First shot was for burpees:

Layup made =10 burpees, missed = 12 burpees – McGee was obviously a LAX bro, not a baller

Free throw made = 7 burpees, missed = 10 burpees

3 pointer made = 0 burpees, missed = 15 burpees

Mosey to rock pile by front entrance and select a lifting rock. Mosey to parking adjacent parking lot (more grumbling) with 8 islands. Curl to press and squats x10, run to end of lot and back, move rock forward one island and repeat til the end. Mary while waiting on the six and lunge walk/mosey back, alternating at every island.

Mosey back to basketball hoops for another shot. This time the shot determined what exercise was done while PAX take turns doing battle ropes x15 each arm, 2 rounds through.

Layup made = Mary, missed = Plank

Free throw made =Plank , missed = Suicides – Marlin looked like he has the touch, rimmed out

3 pointer made = Rest, missed = Suicides with burpees

Partner up: P1 to the playground for pullups x10, P2 to the hotbox for 20 dips, 10 jumps up. Meet in the middle for 10 HS merkins. Repeat 3x through.

More hoops action:

Layup made = Run North Face and around 2x, missed = run North Face 2x with CDD’s at the top

Free throw made = Run North Face 1x with CDD’s at the top, missed = Run North Face 2x with CDDs at top and Sister Mary Catherine’s at the bottom

3 pointer made = Run North face 1x, Missed Run North Face 3x with CDDs at top and Sister Mary Catherine’s at the bottom

Let the PAX have 2 shots, here, and surprisingly no one took the potential no risk all reward 3 pointer. Iron horse missed the J from the charity strip but Rachel saved the day with a soft layup off the glass.

Mosey to rock pile by the ball fields for 10 OH press, 10 tri extensions, and 10 bent over rows, 2 rounds.

Mosey back to parking lot, DONE.


Apparently Rock Zero was confused for the new AO Fishing Hole this week, as we saw 3 Respects in the group. I’m not sure if it’s props to them for crushing the workout as good and if not better than the rest of the PAX or a message to the others to push harder (probably both). The old guys definitely had the better form throughout… although that isn’t saying much. Fun to mix in some basketball being that we are in the middle of the tournament, just not sure if I would want any of these ‘shooters’ today as my 2-guard with the game on the line. The burpee call on the warm-up is never well received but also doesn’t allow for much in the form of grumblings either. Glad to deliver some downpainment to start off St. Patty’s day right, you all earned those green cervezas today.

Thanks to McGee for the takeout and thanks to Boerewors, Flipper, and Hoover for the opportunity to lead these HIM.





Final Countdown: Timed Mile

13 Goats gathered for a final round of timed mile training, in spite of being without both of their fearless leaders.


Disclaimed, with emphasis that YHC is nowhere near the professional of Slim Fast or Retread.

Mosey south on Strawberry to Rosecliff Dr, turn around at the ½ mile marker manhole and back to the SCMS parking lot for dynamic stretching. Dynamic being the key word, since YHC introduced several different exercises that the PAX were questioning. The hackey sack and skipping exercises were clearly the crowd favorites.

The Thang:

2x200m with 200m recover

2x400m with 400m recover

1x800m with 400m recover

2x400m with 400m recover

2x200m with 200m recover

Collect the 6, jog back up to parking lot for COT.


Today marked the last Mountain Goat before the timed mile, so YHC wanted to get a good mix of speed/leg turnover sandwiched around a longer threshold interval. A couple of keys that YHC wanted the PAX to focus on was really utilizing the recover legs in order to put in the work on the intervals. If you aren’t allowing the legs to get the recovery, your performance on the intervals will be slighted and the workout loses its purpose. Another challenge YHC posed, was to try to run even or ‘negative’ splits on the final 6 intervals (run the 400m and 200m after the 800 at equally fast or faster times than at the beginning of the workout). The purpose of this was to simulate the feeling of the last ½ mile, when the legs are tired, there is lactic acid building, you are gasping for air, and need to gut it out and really mentally and physically push yourself to hit your goal time.

Everyone put in solid work today and I will be looking forward to the results next week. It was really great to see the all of the PAX push themselves through this beatdown.

Tclaps to Goonie with a pre-run as he is on the homestretch of P200 training and to Citgo for the extra 2x200m intervals.

Thanks to Slim Fast and Retread for allowing me the opportunity to lead these fine men today.


For those of you that missed out at Brolympics or want to improve on your time, the timed mile will be Friday, 3/16.