Author Archive Prohibition

Buns of steel

11 long standing members of F3 nation kicked their week off at The Matrix this morning.  With the virtual shovel flag firmly planted in the cloud, the garmin striking 0530, and the weather just about perfect, we set off for a warm up lap around the school and down to the lower lot.


  • SSH x 20
  • Slow Rising Merkins x 10
  • IW x 20
  • Low Slow Squat x 15
  • MC x 20
  • Peter Parker x 10
  • Parker Peter x 10

The Circuit:

Run to the area that used to have the stumps (RIP stumps) and find a tire in the ground

  • Merkins x 10 on tires
  • Deep Squat x 10

Run to playground equipment

  • Pull up x 10

Run to raised sidewalk between parking lots in front of school

  • Romanian Dead Lifts IC x 10
  • Freddie Mercury IC x 10

Back to playground equipment

  • Pull up x 10

Repeat the above for 4 rounds with each exercise moving up in reps (15, 20, 25) except for pull ups (stay at 10…or AMRAP)

Orange Whip led some mary waiting for everyone to wrap up. Mosey back to driveway between our parking lot and the lower lot and partner up.

Gummy’s Inch Worm:

  • P1 run to stop sign and back to P2
  • P2 does called exercise moving forward until P1 returns.  Flap Jack until both partners at stop sign.
    • Burpee Broad Jump
    • Bear Crawl
    • Crab Walk

Lunge Walk back to YHC’s car.  Yep.


  • LBC x 20
  • Leg Lift/Glute Crunches x 20

All Done.

Ye Naked Moleskin:

Solid group of seasoned F3 veterans out there today.  Disclaimer done after the warm up lap, although not needed.  I did it for you, Mermaid.  Are you even reading these?

It took somewhere between 2 and 45 minutes for me to get back into Q form.  My cadence may have gotten a little off and my directions a little murky, but we managed.  Thanks Gummy for pointing out all of those moments.  Speaking of, Cotters to Gummy.  Thanks for driving an extra 3 minutes to see us and for letting us get you back in the fold before you Q Hydra this week.

We went heavy on toning the glutes today (squats, dead lifts, lunges, leg lifts).  Major muscle often underworked.  A lot of running injuries are spurred from inactive glutes.  Your welcome.  Hit the foam rollers tonight, kids.

Rachel was smoking it per usual this morning.  Come to find out he didn’t understand my Dead Lift cadence count.  He may have only done half of them, although he still would have smoked us doing them all.  Orange Whip wasn’t too far behind either.  If you haven’t witnessed his Burpee Broad Jumping, he could take the gold in the next Brolympics if they have that as an event.  I meant to make a disclaimer before that to partner up with someone your opposite, but I didn’t need to once I saw OW & Gummy partnered up.  It all evened out.

Lobsta was grinning as much as he possibly will allow in anticipation of another Pats Super Bowl.  Viewing party at his house.  All Eagles fans are welcome.

Great job everyone.  Thanks to Gummy for the takeout.  No other announcements.


Making it up as we go…

11 men kicked off Turkey Week by getting it done at The Matrix.  With the temps in the low 30s, the virtual shovel flag was planted firmly in our minds, we set off for a warmup mosey around campus and back to the lower lot.  Here’s how it went down:


  • SSH x 20
  • Low Slow Squat x 20
  • Slow Rising Merkins x 15
  • Imperial Walkers x 20
  • Mountain Climbers x 20

Mosey over to the track and line up abreast on one end for some combo 11’s:

  • Round 1: Merkins & Squats (do 10/1 on one side, run back to other side for 9/2, and so on)
  • Run a lap
  • Round 2: Dry Docks & Full Sit Ups
  • Run a lap…and a half
  • Round 3 on short side of field: 7’s with Burpees and Romanian Dead Lifts

Mosey over to the wall and get comfy…on the wall:

  • People’s Chair + 100 air presses
  • Wall Plank + 10 derkins in cadence
  • People’s Chair lower down for 30 second with heels off the ground
  • Wall Plank + 10 derkins in cadence
  • People’s Chair + 100 air presses

Mosey back to launch for some mary:

  • Slow Freddie Mercury x 20
  • LBC x 20
  • High Flutters x 20

All over!

Ye shrinked naked moleskin:

It was one of those mornings that YHC knew it was cold outside and contemplated even going to The Matrix.  Lying in bed at 4:55am thinking that I didn’t even know who was Qing today.  Hope it’s not anyone lame.  Probably is and not worth going.  Then I think…wait, am I Qing?  Damn!  So yes, someone lame and probably not worth going to see in on Q.  I better get out of bed and start thinking about a weinke.  Some of it I thought about on the way over, some of it was made up as we went. Hope it worked out.

A chilly one this morning.  Finally got Rachel to bust out long sleeves and gloves.  It’s about time! As we ran the warm up lap in reverse from normal, I spotted OT and McGee running through the parking lot.  Glad they spotted us heading in the other direction.  Also randomly spotted a sign welcoming Chubby Checker.   If that’s for real, I’ve got to go see that.  Otherwise, I was kinda hoping we had an FNG so we could name him that.  I mean, there was already a sign welcoming him. What else could it be?

We were happy to see McGee do full extension merkins today with the slow risers.  He said for some reason he could feel it in his chest which he’d never felt before when doing merkins.  Also put in a request for some neck exercises. Solid group out there today.  Alf  & Turkey Leg were out front most of the time as always.  Squid didn’t care what number we were on during the 11s.  He just kept going AMRAP.    Smokey, Rachel, Witch Doctor, Huggie and Orange Whip kept it between the lines all morning.  O’Tannenbaum sweated profusely per usual.

Thanks to Pop Tart for asking me to lead one last time in 2017 before my reign of every Monday in 2018 begins.  Thanks to Squid for the take out.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  Be thankful for everything and everyone you have in your life.


  • Kevlar & Joust combining at Kevlar on Friday at 0700
  • Christmas Party – Friday 12/8.  Sign up online.

18 wheels and a couple dozen merkins

8 (then 9, back to 8, then back to 9) men woke up to a crisp 50 degree morning and decided the kick the weekend off right with another edition of heavy-flow RockZERO.  With no shovel flag in sight, a minimal disclaimer given, we set off for YHC’s first Q in a while.  Here’s what went down:

Warmup yog through the Calvary parking lot to somewhere near the middle.


  • SSH x 20
  • Imperial Walkers x 20
  • Low Slow Merkins x 15
  • Low Slow Squats x 15
  • Slow Rising Merkins x 10 (start down, slow count up)

With the AO requirements of getting in 3 miles, YHC decided to knock most of that out on the front side of the workout. Head out of Calvary down Rea to Bevington and into CVS loading area.  Avoiding an 18 wheeler and waiting for the six, we did some plank work and picked up a temporary pax.  Mosey to the wall behind CVS.

  • People’s Chair + Air Presses x 100
  • Wall Plank
  • People’s Chair (lower + heels off the ground)
  • Balls To The Wall + 5 inverted presses

Out of the parking lot, right on Bevington, right on Elm.  Elbow plank at corner of Elm and 51. Run to Calvary and head to rock pile on 51 side.  Pick a ‘tweener rock that you can both carry for short distances and still get something out of for lifting.

  • Double 11’s w/ rocks – Squats & Presses (do both exercises on each side – 10 squats/1 press, run back 9 squats/2 presses, etc.)
  • LBC’s x 25
  • Double 7’s w/ rocks – Lunges & Triceps
  • J-Lo’s x 10 (this is where we picked up a different 9th pax – Flipper who Q’d at DaVinci earlier)

Mosey back to middle parking lot, partner up, and line up A BREAST.

  • Partner 1 runs to end of lot and back
  • Partner 2 starts moving exercise
  • When P1 meets P2, flapjack.  Rotate through exercises until both pax at opposite end of lot. Switch exercises after each partner does a round.
    • Burpee Broad Jumps
    • Bear Crawls
    • Crab Walk

Circle up for some Mary:

  • Dolly x 20
  • Freddie Mercury x 20
  • Slow Freddie Mercury x 10
  • Slow Rising Merkins x 10

AYG BTF (All you got back to flag – although no flag in this case)

We Done!

Ye naked moleskinny:

First off, Happy 53rd Birthday Blades of Glory!  You don’t look at day over 39 and will always move much more gracefully than the rest of us no matter what your age.  Great work out there today and happy to have you out.

When we started up, BOG asked since YHC was Q how many miles we were going to get in.  He was concerned this had turned into a running workout and didn’t want to do 5+ miles.  No worries, there is the 3 mile minimum and we try not go over that by much either.  In the COP, the slow rising merkins just kinda popped in my head at the last second.  It was a crowd pleaser.  You’re welcome.

I knew I needed to get off campus to make sure we hit the 3 mile minimum, and my favorite wall is in the CVS loading dock area, so that’s where we went.  On approach there was an 18 wheeler trying to get into the parking lot and a guy trying to guide it.  So we diverted left into the small lot trying to stay out of its way, but unfortunately that was just where he was going.  As some of the pax started to get a little worried, the 18 wheeler’s guide hit the ground with us and planked up (pax #9).  Wish he could have stuck around as he was far less worried about getting run over than the rest of us!

The wall work is always fun…said nobody.  Shaky legs, shaky arms, and then trying to do upside down merkins while B2W is always an adventure.  I don’t know if anyone else actually did them as all the blood was rushing to my head and I was trying not to pass out.

Choosing a rock is always a difficult process.  I told everyone to pick a rock that was good for running and lifting.  As Abba stated it: a ‘tweener.  You don’t want to go too small, but you always regret later choosing the bigger one (TWSS).  I think Jet Fuel regretted his rock almost immediately as that one is usually reserved for Hoover.  BOG grabbed the panhandle rock.  Solid choice.  Big League Chew grabbed a more substantial rock than last time, but quickly discarded it completely.  #vetmove.

It turns out that when doing Mary/COP exercises, if you just slow them down they all of a sudden seem ridiculous.  The very slow Freddie Mercuries at the end were awful.  And since Flipper wasn’t there for the slow rising merkins at the beginning (and since they were a crowd pleaser) we did those to finish.  Bad move.

Great work by everyone out there today.  Thanks for having me lead as it has been a little while since I did the Q thing.    Felt good and terrible all at the same time.   Hope to get on the schedule a little more often.  Thanks to Abba for the takeout.


  • Speed4Need at the Charlotte Marathon relay race.
  • Sign up for Joe Davis run 1/6/18.  Prices go up Nov 1.
  • Christmas parties coming up – watch twitter/slack for details

Honoring the fallen at RockZero

36 men came together at RockZero to remember what Memorial Day is truly about: those men and women who gave their lives for our freedoms as Americans. With 4 shovel flags planted firmly into the earth, 3 Q’s ready to go, a FNG on hand, and a proper disclaimer disclaimed, we set off for what has become an annual tradition on the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend.  Here is how we did it:

Run with the shovel flags around the church to the main field in front of Calvary and gather in tight and take a knee.  Alf told us that in World War II there were approximately 455,000 American deaths which was an average of almost 300 deaths per day.  He then read the first citation of Medal Of Honor recipient Sergeant Darrell Cole.   (all citations at bottom of back blast).

COP: Alf

  • SSH x 50 in cadence
  • Merkins x 13 in cadence
  • Mountain Climbers x 50 in cadence
  • Low Slow Squats x 13 in cadence

Run with the shovel flags at the front of the group back around the church to the parking lot right across from the sandy playground.  Everyone gathered in tight and took a knee while Prohibition told us that in the Vietnam War there were nearly 60,000 American deaths and over 150,000 wounded.  He then read the second citation of Medal of Honor recipient Private First Class Oscar Austin.

Main Workout: Prohibition

  • Get into groups of four.
  • P1 & P2: Catch Me If You Can with sandbags.  P1 runs with sandbag.  P2 does 10 merkins and catches P1. Flap jack all the way around the church.
  • P3 & P4: Hairburners & Pull Ups. P3 does out and back hairburners while P4 does 10 pullups at the sandbox.  Flap jack until P1/P2 get back.
  • P1/P2 flap jack with P3/P4.  Do this entire thing x 2!
  • Mary at the end while we wait for the 6.  J-Lo’s x 13.  Some sort of hip thrusting thing led by Shoe x too many.

Run with the shovel flags out front to soccer fields and bring it in tight and take a knee.  Purple Haze then read the 3rd citation of Medal of Honor recipient Staff Sergeant Robert J. Miller.

The Finale: Purple Haze

  • 100 burpees OYO – – No mumblechatter.  Suffer in silence to remember those we honor today.

As the clock hit 0800, Haze gathered all of us in together for name-o-rama and the ball of man led by Mermaid.  It was an hour of pain, but nothing compared to what the men and women of the U.S. Military do on a daily basis fighting for the very freedoms that allow us to come together and participate in things F3.

The Naked Moleskin:

It was once again an absolute honor to help lead this moving workout that has become a tradition in Area51.  Thank you all for joining us.  Alf told me later that he has been to this workout 4 years in a row but reading the citation was more impactful than he would have imagined.  That is so true.  I encourage everyone to take some minutes at some point and look through different citations on the site.  It is very moving to read what so many people have done for us.  It is truly humbling and makes me very thankful for what I have.

This workout never gets easier.  Whether it’s the sandbags, the hairburners, or the burpees, it is always awful.  But as long as I have any say in the matter, it won’t change.  That daunting feeling of 100 burpees in a row after a brutal workout.  The thought of no way am I going to finish these when you are sitting at 30 burpees in.  Then that crazy rush around the 75th burpee knowing that the end is in sight and I’m going to knock these out.  What a feeling of accomplishment…and numbness.  I couldn’t do any of that without my F3 brothers around me.

We have a number of veterans in F3 and several were with us this morning.  Thank you for your service and I hope in your eyes the men of F3 are at least trying to do it right.  We appreciate you and all that you have done for us.

A few observations:

  • Ironsides after ball of man going back onto the field and finishing his burpees.  He had about 15 to go.  Haze, Frasier, and YHC finished with him.  Dude, that is impressive to go back after we’re all done to finish it.  You didn’t have to, but so great that you did.
  • Frasier carrying a 50lb sandbag is still faster than most of us running without one.
  • Welcome FNG Jinxy!  Great having you and great name.  Better than Focker!
  • Loved hearing the collective “ugh” when coming around the corner and seeing the pile of sandbags and plates.
  • Margo, Stone Cold, and Horsehead came early for a pre run.  Studs.
  • Shout out with more in the comments



  • Rank and organization: Sergeant, U.S. Marine Corps Reserve

Citation: For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty while serving as leader of a Machinegun Section of Company B, 1st Battalion, 23d Marines, 4th Marine Division, in action against enemy Japanese forces during the assault on Iwo Jima in the Volcano Islands, 19 February 1945. Assailed by a tremendous volume of small-arms, mortar and artillery fire as he advanced with 1 squad of his section in the initial assault wave, Sgt. Cole boldly led his men up the sloping beach toward Airfield No. 1 despite the blanketing curtain of flying shrapnel and, personally destroying with hand grenades 2 hostile emplacements which menaced the progress of his unit, continued to move forward until a merciless barrage of fire emanating from 3 Japanese pillboxes halted the advance. Instantly placing his 1 remaining machinegun in action, he delivered a shattering fusillade and succeeded in silencing the nearest and most threatening emplacement before his weapon jammed and the enemy, reopening fire with knee mortars and grenades, pinned down his unit for the second time. Shrewdly gauging the tactical situation and evolving a daring plan of counterattack, Sgt. Cole, armed solely with a pistol and 1 grenade, coolly advanced alone to the hostile pillboxes. Hurling his 1 grenade at the enemy in sudden, swift attack, he quickly withdrew, returned to his own lines for additional grenades and again advanced, attacked, and withdrew. With enemy guns still active, he ran the gauntlet of slashing fire a third time to complete the total destruction of the Japanese strong point and the annihilation of the defending garrison in this final assault. Although instantly killed by an enemy grenade as he returned to his squad, Sgt. Cole had eliminated a formidable Japanese position, thereby enabling his company to storm the remaining fortifications, continue the advance, and seize the objective. By his dauntless initiative, unfaltering courage, and indomitable determination during a critical period of action, Sgt. Cole served as an inspiration to his comrades, and his stouthearted leadership in the face of almost certain death sustained and enhanced the highest tradition of the U.S. Naval Service. He gallantly gave his life for his country.



  • Rank and Organization: Private First Class, U.S. Marine Corps, Company E, 2d Battalion, 7th Marines, 1st Marine Division, (Rein), FMF
  • Place and Date: West of Da Nang, Republic of Vietnam, 23 February 1969

Citation: For conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity at the risk of his life above and beyond the call of duty while serving as an assistant machine gunner with Company E, in connection with operations against enemy forces. During the early morning hours Pfc. Austin’s observation post was subjected to a fierce ground attack by a large North Vietnamese Army force supported by a heavy volume of hand grenades, satchel charges, and small arms fire. Observing that 1 of his wounded companions had fallen unconscious in a position dangerously exposed to the hostile fire, Pfc. Austin unhesitatingly left the relative security of his fighting hole and, with complete disregard for his safety, raced across the fire-swept terrain to assist the marine to a covered location. As he neared the casualty, he observed an enemy grenade land nearby and, reacting instantly, leaped between the injured marine and the lethal object, absorbing the effects of its detonation. As he ignored his painful injuries and turned to examine the wounded man, he saw a North Vietnamese Army soldier aiming a weapon at his unconscious companion. With full knowledge of the probable consequences and thinking only to protect the marine, Pfc. Austin resolutely threw himself between the casualty and the hostile soldier, and, in doing, was mortally wounded. Pfc. Austin’s indomitable courage, inspiring initiative and selfless devotion to duty upheld the highest traditions of the Marine Corps and the U.S. Naval Service. He gallantly gave his life for his country.


Staff Sergeant Robert J. Miller

  • Organization: U.S. Army, Special Forces Operational Detachment Alpha 3312

Citation: Robert J. Miller distinguished himself by extraordinary acts of heroism while serving as the Weapons Sergeant in Special Forces Operational Detachment Alpha 3312, Special Operations Task Force-33, Combined Joint Special Operations Task Force-Afghanistan during combat operations against an armed enemy in Konar Province, Afghanistan on January 25, 2008. While conducting a combat reconnaissance patrol through the Gowardesh Valley, Staff Sergeant Miller and his small element of U.S. and Afghan National Army soldiers engaged a force of 15 to 20 insurgents occupying prepared fighting positions. Staff Sergeant Miller initiated the assault by engaging the enemy positions with his vehicle’s turret-mounted Mark-19 40 millimeter automatic grenade launcher while simultaneously providing detailed descriptions of the enemy positions to his command, enabling effective, accurate close air support. Following the engagement, Staff Sergeant Miller led a small squad forward to conduct a battle damage assessment. As the group neared the small, steep, narrow valley that the enemy had inhabited, a large, well-coordinated insurgent force initiated a near ambush, assaulting from elevated positions with ample cover. Exposed and with little available cover, the patrol was totally vulnerable to enemy rocket propelled grenades and automatic weapon fire. As point man, Staff Sergeant Miller was at the front of the patrol, cut off from supporting elements, and less than 20 meters from enemy forces. Nonetheless, with total disregard for his own safety, he called for his men to quickly move back to covered positions as he charged the enemy over exposed ground and under overwhelming enemy fire in order to provide protective fire for his team. While maneuvering to engage the enemy, Staff Sergeant Miller was shot in his upper torso. Ignoring the wound, he continued to push the fight, moving to draw fire from over one hundred enemy fighters upon himself. He then again charged forward through an open area in order to allow his teammates to safely reach cover. After killing at least 10 insurgents, wounding dozens more, and repeatedly exposing himself to withering enemy fire while moving from position to position, Staff Sergeant Miller was mortally wounded by enemy fire. His extraordinary valor ultimately saved the lives of seven members of his own team and 15 Afghanistan National Army soldiers. Staff Sergeant Miller’s heroism and selflessness above and beyond the call of duty, and at the cost of his own life, are in keeping with the highest traditions of military service and reflect great credit upon himself and the United States Army.

RockZero Memorial Day Weekend Convergence PreBlast

In what has become a tradition, on Saturday, May 27th we will honor the fallen heroes of the US Military with our Memorial Day Weekend convergence.  On May 25th, 2013 Radar and Purple Haze launched a new AO called Day Zero with the thought of pushing ourselves further by keeping in mind the sacrifices that others have made for our freedoms.  The following year on its 1 year anniversary, with what has become this annual tradition, we did nearly the same workout we will be doing tomorrow.  Even though the days of DayZero are behind us, the tradition lives on at RockZero.  All AOs and PAX are welcome to join us.

RockZero Memorial Day Weekend Convergence 2017:

  • 0700 at Calvary
  • Park in normal Anvil/RockZero parking area (closest lot to Rea Rd near NorthFace hill)
  • Bring your shovel flags
  • 2.0s welcome, but be mindful that this will be an intense workout and we will use the entire campus.
  • We will remain as a group for the most part. We will not have separate stations as in normal convergences.
  • QICs: Alf, Prohibition, Purple Haze,
  • It’s no secret, we will end with 100 burpees

Again, all PAX are welcome and please bring your shovel flags as we will carry these with us to each area of campus we stop at.

Put your mind in the right place by remembering what this weekend is truly about by joining us tomorrow at 0700 at Calvary.


Band of Burpees

6 men decided to get stronger this morning by showing up at Area 51.  The clock read 0700, and with no shovel flag in sight, we started moving.  Here’s what we did:

Mosey down to lower parking lot and back up to front of school for the burpee ladder COP:

  • 10 Burpees OYO
  • Side Straddle Hop x 30
  • 9 Burpees OYO
  • Imperial Walker x 27
  • 8 Burpees OYO
  • Low Slow Squat x 24
  • 7 Burpees OYO
  • Mountain Climber x 21
  • 6 Burpees OYO
  • Peter Parkers x 18
  • 5 Burpees OYO
  • Low Slow Merkins x 15
  • 4 Burpees OYO
  • Heels 2 Heaven x 12
  • 3 Burpees OYO
  • Low Slow Wide Arm Merkins x 9
  • 2 Burpees OYO
  • J-Lo x 6
  • 1 Burpee OYO
  • Low Slow Diamond Merkin x 3

Mosey to side of school by the dumpster and plank up while instructions are given:

  • Partner 1: Run to stump area. 10 Incline Merkins on tires + 10 Jump Ups/Step Ups on stumps. Return to dumpster area
  • Partner 2: Run to main playground by cars. 10 pullups + 10 burpees. Return to dumpster area
  • 10 partner hand slap merkins. Flap Jack
  • Rinse and Repeat x 3.  Both partners do both sides of workout 3 times.
  • Mary while we all finish up

Walk/Bring down the heart rate just around the corner to the wall:

  • People’s Chair + 100 air presses
  • 1 lap around track
  • 5 burpees OYO
  • Rinse and Repeat x 3
  • Finish up with some Freddie Mercuries x 25 to close it out

We Done!  Total Burpee Count: 100

Naked Moleskinny:

Thank you Abacus for the invite to lead at Area 51.  I’ve hit the workout a couple of times, but this was my first Q here…well on Saturdays that is.  Solid core group of guys.  Kotters to Beaver for getting back into the bootcamps after all the running he’s been doing.  O’Tannenbaum was crushing it all morning even though he complained after every burpee.  Hey, you did 100 total today.  Be proud.  Huggie and Beaver started to get a little quiet about half way through but they kept grinding.  Great work.  The Iron Sheik never gave up.  Dude just kept going. Even on all the burpees.  Awesome job!  Absolute pleasure leading this morning, men.  Thank you.


  • Saturday, May 27th – Convergence at Calvary for annual Memorial Day Saturday Workout. 0700
  • Monday, May 29th – Memorial Day convergence at South Charlotte Middle.  Should be 0700
  • Beaver’s kid just graduated from college and is ridiculously smart at computers.  You should hire him.
  • JRR Tolkien is raising money and awareness for a great cause: getting racing wheelchairs for disabled kids.  We need you to donate your time or money.  Check out his preblast…somewhere.
  • MudRun is next Saturday if anyone is still interested.  About 300 are signed up from across the Southeast.
  • There was probably something else…Area 51 Christmas Party? Golf Tournament? Pool Party?



Just go until it gets wet!

4 real men (arguably dumb men) decided to show up to The Matrix this morning during one nasty rain storm.  With a shovel flag firmly planted in Poptart’s backseat, without any disclaimer despite the treacherous conditions, and the rain continuing to get harder, we took off right at 0530.  Here is what we did:

Mosey down to the lower lot for a quick lap and head back up the main drive to grab O’Tannenbaum.  Run in front of the school and into the main teacher’s lot to circle/triangle/square up.


  • SSH x 20
  • Imperial Walkers x 20
  • Low Slow Merkin x 15
  • Low Slow Squat x 15

Mosey over to playground.

Reverse 3 Exercise ladder:

  • 10 pullups, 10 burpees, 10 Romanian deadlifts (10 right leg, 10 left leg)
  • 9, 9, 9…..down to 1, 1, 1 of each
  • 55 reps of each exercise total

Mosey over to covered area in front of school:

  • People’s Chair w/ air presses x 100
  • Bear crawl to the end of covered area (or until it gets wet) and back
  • 1 minute of elbow plank
  • various mary exercises
  • People’s Chair w/ air presses x 100
  • Bear crawl to the end of covered area (or until it gets wet) and back
  • 1 minute of elbow plank
  • merkins x 15
  • LBC x 15
  • wide arm merkin x 10
  • Flutter x 15
  • diamond merkin x 5
  • Dolly x 15
  • 10 burpees OYO

Mosey back to the cars and call it a morning.

Ye Wet Moleskin:

This was a morning to sleep in. Honestly, when I started F3 over 3 years ago I loved these kinds of mornings.  There was something about working out in a downpour that was exhilarating. Somewhere in the last couple years that changed and turning the alarm off when hearing the rain outside became the norm.  Only reason I was coming this morning was because I was scheduled to Q.  On my drive over, I kept thinking/hoping nobody would show and I would just turn around and go home and back to bed.  As I’m driving down McKee I see a set of headlights in the parking lot.  Thinking, let’s put my sales career to test (since I’m in the booze business, do I actually do much selling?) and see if I can talk this fellow into saying we did but we didn’t kinda thing.  I pull in next to Pop Tart and we just kinda look at each other.  I’m hoping he’s reading my mind about bailing.  Nope, he just jumped out of the car and is standing outside…in the rain.  Then Madison pulls in too.  Great.  Can’t quit now.  In the midst of the torrential rain, I don’t hear Madison claim that he can be talked out of this workout.  Damn, that was my chance!  Okay…let’s mosey.  As we came back up the driveway, we see OT standing out in his yellow poncho looking around for us.  Had we been any later he claims he would have headed straight for the covered area thinking we would be there.  And by that he probably meant back into his car before he is seen.

Having the small group forced us to keep each other accountable and put some hard work into each exercise.  Madison thought he saw lightening early on.  We think it was just a light turning on.  Those can be tricky.  Later we did see a couple of big flashes, but with the accompanying booms, it was clearly transformers blowing up.  Hope they got that power back on for those unfortunate few. OT started to shortcut the counting on the second round of air presses by only counting single digits after 20, but then confused himself, and me, so we all had to count the rest of the way.  When we were bear crawling, I gave the order to crawl to the end and come back.  Madison quickly asked if it was to the end of the covered area or to the end of the sidewalk, to which YHC replied “just go until it gets wet!”.  Take that as you please.

Overall, really strong efforts out there this morning by all 4 of us veterans. Honestly, I am happy you guys showed up and forced me to do this workout in the rain.  It was a lot of fun and I’m glad I did it.  I still will probably turn my alarm off next time though. Until then…



  • It’s wet.  No announcements.

Return of the Purple Haze

They said he quit.  They said he’d gotten fat.  They said we’d never see him again.  But today he made his triumphant (and slow) return to F3 and most importantly to the home of his own site Q responsibilities.  Kotters to Purple Haze!  I may or may have promised you that I’d keep it under 2 miles with Imperial Walkers AMRAP…and I may or may not have lied about that.  Kudos to you for showing back up and not so much to me for not paying any attention to the clock today.  #poortimemanagement.

16 men gathered this morning for this week’s episode of Fast Twitch.  With a much needed disclaimer clearly stating that I am not a professional and a quick run down that we’ll be doing a slight continuation of what Frasier started last week with some threshold running followed by recovery runs, we were off.  Here’s what we did:

Take a right out of SCMS and head down Strawberry Ln and circle up when we get to Rosecliff.

  • SSH x 15
  • Imperial Walkers x 15

Continue Mosey through the neighborhood until we get to the bottom of Coburn Ct.  We line up for 7’s with merkins at the top (the stop sign) and squats at the bottom.  Run at threshold pace up the hill, and recover on the way down.  Get your heart rate back to normal before threshold back up.

Once completed and regrouped, threshold pace up the other hill towards Bevington.  Once at the speed limit sign, recovery pace to Bevington.  Circle up for LBC x 25 to wait for the Haze six.

Interval Work:

  • Threshold Pace to 1st speed hump. Recover back to Coburn.
  • Threshold Pace to 2nd speed hump. Recover back to 1st speed hump.
  • Threshold Pace to 3rd speed hump. Recover back to 2nd speed hump.
  • Threshold Pace to 4th speed hump. Recover back to 3rd speed hump.
  • Threshold Pace to 5th speed hump. Recover back to 4th speed hump.
  • Threshold Pace to stop sign at Rea Rd.  Go back for six or check watch and realize we need to keep moving.

Whatever you got up Rea, right on 51, and back to SCMS.  Done anywhere between 6:17-6:22.  #overtime.


So maybe I was just so excited that Purple Haze was back, but I underestimated our course today with the speed hump intervals and we got a little behind on time.  Cobains to everyone on that.  My bad.  The good news is I think everyone cleared well over 6 miles this morning!  Excellent work!  Even Heartbreaker said he thinks that’s the furthest he’s gone at a F3 workout.  Strong.  What a great group to lead this morning.  A few faces of old I hadn’t seen in a while as well as some of the regulars.  Hannibal, Gummy, Margo, and I started out at the head of the pack representing team Flattnin’ The Hills for the BRR (paperwork has been filed. training has begun).  Alf, of course, was out front all morning.  At one point I started to worry he was getting lonely.  Then I stopped caring because it’s his fault he’s so fast.

Pop Tart must have drank a PBR before the workout because he was flying up the hills of Coburn like it was just another lap of the beer mile.  Icicle, Early Bird, Ductwork, Retread and Madison seemed to be on cruise control all morning.  I felt the evil eyes coming from Strawberry, Utah and Ironsides every time we crossed paths on Bevington. And of course I heard the complaints from Purple Haze for all 67 minutes of the workout.  But after it was all over, I think/hope everyone enjoyed it as much as that’s possible.  There is nothing fun about interval work, but it’s necessary for us to get back in shape and shave some time off our road race times.  Everyone put in some serious work this morning.  Great job!

I’m expecting some comments from Gummy on us going over in time.  He said he’d file a formal complaint with the board.  You know you liked it.  Also, feel free to chime in on whatever I missed.


No time for them.  Again…oops.

Til next time,


RockZero Christmas Concert

15 of Santa’s little helpers made the decision to get a strong workout in after a long season of building toys in the workshop.  It’s Christmas Eve.  Time to sit back, relax, and have a cocktail or 12. So a good beatdown was in order so their little elf britches still fit come Monday. With no shovel flag in sight, but a healthy Christmas playlist ready to rock on the iBomb, we set off.  Here’s what we did:

Mosey up and around the parking lot and circled up at the far lot closest to 51 for COP:

  • 10 Burpees OYO
  • SSH x 25
  • Imperial Walkers x 20
  • Low Slow Merkin x 15
  • Mountain Climbers x 25
  • Low Slow Squat x 15

Mosey over to the big rock pile and pick out a running friendly rock/present.  Mosey with rocks over to the shelter near the big field.

  • Little Haze’s (similar to step ups, but only lifting one leg while the other leg stays on bench) x 15 with rock – repeat with other leg
  • Derkins x 15 in cadence
  • Dips x 15 in cadence
  • Repeat everything 2 more times
    • Derkins & Dips move to 10 reps for rounds 2 & 3

Grab rock and mosey to field.  Line up for suicides with pain stops all while carrying rocks. 4 stops all 25 yards apart

  • Round 1: merkins x 5 at each stop and base line (total of 40 reps)
  • Round 2: jump squats
  • Round 3: burpees

Circle up at baseline for 10 rounds of Jack Webb with rock.

Line up for Indian Run with rocks back to cars.  Pause.  Continue Indian Run around church back to the rock pile.  Drop off the rocks as the little elves were tired of carrying around their presents.  Mosey to the area of Calvary with the fake grass and find a spot on the wall for some modified mary:

  • People’s Chair w/ hands out (or clapping to Mariah Carey)
  • LBC x 20 in cadence
  • Flutter x 20 in cadence
  • People’s Chair w/ toes up
  • Dollie x 20 in cadence
  • Freddie Mercury x 20 in cadence
  • People’s Chair w/ heels up

Quick mosey/all you got back to the cars.  We Done!


Great veteran crew out there this morning to start the Christmas celebration.  I appreciate the enthusiasm for my music.  I mean, if Bing Crosby singing a Hawaiian Christmas song doesn’t put you in the mood to workout, I don’t know what will.  When I saw I was scheduled for Christmas Eve, I had to wonder if it was just a coincidence or if Buttermaker knows me better than I thought.  I’m going to go with the later.  Speaking of coincidences, anyone else catch that Jingle Bells started playing just as I put the iBomb down my pants during the Indian Run?  That was exciting!

McGee was seen substituting burpees for merkins throughout the morning trying to get to his 100 per day in December.  I’m sure you’re ready for this month to be over.  I know we are just by watching you.  He, Rachel, and Nemo were out front all day per usual.  Not sure if they were just trying to stay ahead of the music or what. Flipper started off complaining about the music and said if he hears Mariah Carey, that we were going to have a problem.  But by the time Mariah came on, he was clapping AND singing All I Want For Christmas Is You.  #closetfan

Lots of mummblechatter this morning per usual.  It picked up quite a bit with the Little Haze’s.  Is it a step up? Is it a step down? Shouldn’t you call down? Shouldn’t you call up? How about you guys figure it out and come back to me in the new year.  Alf and the Area 51 board can work on that decision over the holiday vacation.  The chatter picked up again during the Jack Webbs.  Lots of trying to get me to cut short of 10 rounds.  Lots of form corrections being shouted out by Gummy.  Truth be told I realized this was a bad idea after round 7, but I knew I had to keep going.  Great seeing Fletch out on a Saturday!

Thanks to site tri-Qs for letting me lead today.  It’s been a great almost 3 years of F3 for me (12/28/13).  Lots of incredible friendships and bonds created.  Thank you all for being a part of this experience.  Welcome Shoe to Area 51.  He moved down from Isotope a couple months back and is still getting acclimated to the south.  Come on out to RockZero any time.  Great work by everyone today.  Thanks to Gummy for the takeout.  I wish all of you a very Merry Christmas.  Be thankful for everything you have and remember the true meaning of Christmas.



  • Monday 12/26 – Convergence at DMZ: 0700
  • Monday 1/2 – Convergence at The Matrix: 0700
  • Joe Davis Run – Jan 7th
  • Convergence – Jan 7th at RockZero


Clown in the Woods

14 men decided to make the choice to honor their obligation to Fast Twitch.  There were a few regulars traitors that went elsewhere this morning.  You know who you are.  With the addition of a couple faces not seen in some time at Fast Twitch, a couple of stragglers coming in right at 0515, and a Bug Eater, the not so professional nor detailed disclaimer was thrown out there and we were on our way.  Here is what we did:

  • Run into Raintree the usual (or unusual) way
  • Right on Raintree Ln and circle up in the gravel parking lot at the bottom of the hill to let everyone catch up…mainly Joker.  We’ll get to that later.
    • SSH x 20
    • Imperial Walkers x 17ish
  • Continue up Raintree Ln all the way to Providence Rd

The Thang:

  • Run from the top of the hill (RT Ln) to the bottom of the hill (High Ridge).  Do an exercise at the bottom.  Run back to the top.  Repeat exercise. Rinse and Repeat the hill for 3 rounds.
    • Round 1: 10 jump squats
    • Round 2: 20 merkins
    • Round 3: 30 LBCs
  • Rolling Suicide all along Raintree Ln
    • Every street that you come up to (6 in total), turn around and run back to tag the six, then proceed on to the next street.  Repeat all the way until Rounding Run.
  • Free Run from Raintree Ln to Woodfox
  • All You Got back to SCMS

0615 on the dot.

Ye very naked moleskin:

YHC was happy to see both Bug Eater and Joker making back to back weeks at Fast Twitch.  Knowing how fast Joker is, I was pretty confused when we circled up and he was no where to be found.  Purple Haze tried his best to keep Joker’s indecencies hidden from us, but finally confessed that he was dropping off a package in the woods back there and wanted us to wait for him.  My immediate thought was all those reports of the creepy clowns trying to lure children into the woods.  There are lots of bus stops in Raintree and Joker takes his name pretty seriously.  May have gotten a little awkward, but alas he showed up. Little did he know we’d soon pass right by a portajon (which probably had hand sanitizer that he did not stop for), as well as, Gummy’s RV.  Multiple options.   Joker did quickly return to his usual form and ran much faster the rest of the morning.

Nobody likes the Providence Rd. hill.  I hate it.  I also know that there are several of those types of hills on the Charlotte Half Marathon course coming up in a few weeks, so I figured you all could join me in my training efforts.  Thanks guys.  Much appreciated.  Today was not Kiawah friendly with all the hills, but you should all know that I am a proud card-carrying member of #NoTrackTuesday club.  So never fear that from me.  I think only 3 people made all 3 rounds of the hills: TL, Alf, and Fault Line.  Everyone got in at least 2 full rounds, with some turning back half way on the 3rd.

There was a good bit of confusion on the rolling suicide along RT Ln.  Some people just stopped when they got to a street.  Some people just kept going (PH and Soul Glow).  Only a few actually did what they were supposed to.  Everyone certainly was a little confused when Bug Eater somehow went from the six to the front of the pack on the downhill.  He said he just needed to know what it felt like up there.  How was it?  Per usual, Turkey Leg led the pack all day (with the lone Bug Eater exception).  He was even nudging me along the warmup mile to speed it up.

Nice morning out today.  Little warmer than it should have been.  Gummy did his best Mr. Brady impression with the wringing out the shirt at the end.  Don’t want to get those seats wet in the low rider.  Great to see Lex Luther and Grease Monkey out this morning.  Also, great to have Icicle back out there.  Thanks to Duct Work for the take out.  Not sure if I’m still #DeadToHaze or not, but hopefully I’ll be able to Q again another day. He did specifically tell me not to go through Raintree this morning.  So there’s that.  Thanks anyway for letting me lead.


  • Southern Discomfort this Saturday.  Sign up so we know what numbers to expect.  Also, donate some cash for a good cause.  Meet at Old Providence Elementary at 0630 and clown car to Centurion for 0700 start.
  • Christmas Party sign ups are open.
  • Charlotte Eagles banquet on Tuesday(?) at The Rock 6pm – Dollywood in charge