Author Archive Posse

Bohemian Rhapsody

This summer, I saw the movie “Bohemian Rhapsody” was coming in November. I knew immediately I was going to make a workout of it. Saw others across the Nation do similar tributes. They may have a great playlist, but they don’t have what I have – too much time to think about theme & choreography. Debate is still out whether it’s a curse or blessing.

Pre-Warm Up

Flash Gordon Theme (2:58)
Why no one else has thought about playing this as the Intro to a Flash workout, I’ll never know.
#ProTip – for those music-infused workouts, playing an intro song prior to the start ensures your Bluetooth connection is solid. Can also use it to set the tone for the workout.
Last line of the song is especially apropos: “Flash! Flash, I love you! But we only have 14 hours 45 minutes to save the Earth!”

Warm Up

Don’t Stop Me Now (3:29)
Mosey to just past the yellow poles and plank it up. To preserve Big10’s #ShortestMosey, we plank about 10 feet beyond his spot.
Disclaimer given that bordered on chastisement for poor decision making ability, when better AO’s (for today) exist just beyond these limits of space & time.
Various sprinter stretches as I explain we are going to race to the 3rd light pole. Stay in the same order you arrive and plank up shoulder to shoulder. That third light is a bit of a blinker, so I even left a giant cone in the middle of the sidewalk with a light on top of it. Reminded me of the Luxor.
Winner Winner Chicken Dinner belonged to Mr. Bawk Ba Gawk; (full 11 minute clip = dude continues to get faster! Chicken Little goes to the back of the line to find his best friend/partner. #2 goes to next to last in line, & so on. There must have been a good deal of sandbagging, because I won with One Star.
Partner 1 grabs a rock while Partner 2 does SSH until everyone gets in.
Set the rock down on the sidewalk, and mosey to the side of the school. Balls to the Wall until everyone gets in.

The Thang

We Will Rock You (2:01)
3 count wall claps on the chorus; v1 = donkey kicks; v2 = Bobby Hurleys; v3 = Mike Tysons; v4 (guitar solo) = donkey kicks
Short song, but packed a quick cardio wallop here.
As I was explaining what to do prior to the song, One Star says, “If this is Bohemian Rhapsody, so help me…” Quick to pick up the theme, but not everyone’s favorites made it on to the playlist.

Hammer to Fall (3:40)
Starting from the cafeteria, make the loop to Transporter’s Office, back up the sidewalk to where our rocks/cone/Luxor light are waiting. At each light, 10 American Hammers. Some Pax struggle to get 2=1, while Zinfandel sees lights that aren’t on the route. No worries, Zin; beats the alternative.

Don’t Try Suicide (3:52)
Reunited with rocks & partners, P1 lunge walks back to yellow poles with rock overhead; P2 runs to poles and back to P1 and flapjack.
If you finish before others, do a back to back rock pass.
During one of the rounds, Zin shouts to his best friend Lt. Rubbermaid, “Let’s hurry up & get this done so we can get to the back to back thingy!” I *THINK* he was trying to be sarcastic, but his tone was too gleeful to tell.

You’re My Best Friend (3:52) & Somebody to Love (4:56)
In the parking lot, P1 runs clockwise with the rock overhead. P2 runs counterclockwise. When they meet, 10 Big Boy Situps, passing the rock back & forth with legs interlocked. Flapjack. It is #ManTouchMonday, Pax, right?
While I am Switzerland on the topic of #MTM, I do notice several Pax doth protest too much for these types of exercises. I am a stick poker, FWIW. Especially since the Pax couldn’t outright choose their best friend, I hope this provided new opportunities to explore their relationships.

Dragon Attack (4:25)
Line up at the far end of the parking lot. P1 does Imperial Triceps Walkers with the rock while P2 Bear Crawls beside him. Go the length of the parking lot, swapping at least once, up to as many times as needed. Must stay together.
As I was demonstrating the ITW, I couldn’t help feeling a bit like Freddie himself, strutting on stage at Wembly. You should try it, in private, while playing your favorite Queen song.
In an unlikely pairing, I see Doughboy & Longhorn making quick work of this. But WAAAYY out in front is Foundation / Old MacDonald. Foundation seemed to have a new found fondness for the bear; I don’t think he allowed the Respectable Farmer a turn on the asphalt. I am a bit of a matchmaker; can I introduce you to Doughboy?
Being my partner is painful enough, but to do it while I Q is the worst. One Star takes the rock first, but my hands are full with speaker & phone. I can’t bear crawl, so I just do a really hunched over walk to look like I’m doing it. I offer to swap about halfway through. He takes my stuff & runs it to the end of the parking lot where we are headed anyway. Then comes back for his real bear crawls. Don’t know why I didn’t think of that. I’m not the sharpest spoon in the knife drawer.

Stone Cold Crazy (2:21)
Facing your best friend, side shuffle with the rock down the sidewalk. At each light, do 11 squats, handing the rock back and forth at the synchronized low point of each squat. Be sure to flapjack positions to give both IT bands a boost. Put your rock back when finished.
Still trying to get these stupid rocks back to their home. How can I make this more socially awkward? #NailedIt
A couple thought that the Luxor light was a #DeadwoodTribute, with his headlamp becoming Fuse’s Towelly equivalent companion of late.

Tie Your Mother Down (3:45)
Run back to sidewalk where we did the wall work. Xerox exclaims breathlessly that NOW we’re getting to the good stuff of Queen. Really? I love the song, too, but now wonder what kind of things he does on those MFP’s. #MakingCopies

Seven Seas of Rhye (2:47)
There’s a non-symmetrical midpoint of this sidewalk that has a short piece to the building. Huge crowd, so use the partner concept to split them evenly. The faster partner goes to the longest length of sidewalk; slower partner gets shorter side. Doing 7’s. Here at the midpoint, Scorpion Dry Docks. Run backwards to the ends of the sidewalk and do Bomb Jacks.
Pax seemed to struggle only doing a 1 legged exercise at each round. Thanks to Popeye for clarifying – left leg in one round, right leg in the next round.
Have to cut this short to make sure we get back in time for the finale.

Headlong (4:33)
Back at the magical Luxor light. Best friends run together back to the parking lot. At each light, do a bropee. Bropee = face each other to do a burpee, on the jump at the end, do a jumping high five with your BF.
Saw this progression in most every pair: 1st light = awkward; 2nd light = starting to get it; 3rd light = buddy cop movie

As Pax start circling up in the parking lot, a little confusion. Some believe we’re done. Some believe we need to knock out a quick Mary before we’re done. Old MacDonald is the first to offer Freddie Mercuries while we wait for the 6. “I wouldn’t do that, if I were you.” Can’t get more foreshadowy than that.

Bicycle Race (3:01)
On your six, with feet at 45º, arms out at 45º also. When “Bicycle” or “Bike” is said, do a Freddy Mercury (2=1).  Return to this banana pose while waiting. Neither feet nor arms will touch the ground during the song.
Why do 6 minutes of Mary, when you can just get on your bike & ride?!? At the midpoint, during the bike bells, I offered up Flutters to pass the time. Several took me up on it. #PassingGear Noticed others drop out of the race entirely. #FatBottomGirls
And we finish right on the minute, as Ignition runs in, as #ChampionsOfTheWorld.
Judging by the immediate comparisons to Rockwell’s Thunderstruck, this seems to have been a crowd pleaser.


Foundation #QWhispered me for this Flash gig with only 3 days notice. That’s easily 94 days shorter than my customary Q notification. And I don’t know how I feel about being #QWhispered to when I invented the concept. I even said no as soon as he asked. But I can’t outrun the guy. And he’s running next to me until I say yes. Short of a Big10 rollout, I’m stuck. Fine. Let’s bring out Uncle Posse’s Good Time Razz-a-ma-tazz Sweating to the Oldies Whirligig, and see what flies.

I’m not going to thank him for letting me Q, as I think we can all agree that was a poor choice from the beginning. We all just made the best of it. I forgive you. Let’s not let this happen again.


  • Prayers for Hollywood’s family on the unexpected loss of his Mother-in-Law.
  • Prayers for Radar as doctors try to answer why leg pain & swelling are occurring.

No workouts in the WUC for Thanksgiving, so head to one of these 3 places instead of fartsacking:

  1. 0600 Fort Mill Convergence
    Springfield Elementary School – 1691 Springfield Pkwy, Fort Mill, SC 29715
  2. 0630 Turkey Jam – 4 miles of fun/stupidity (likely most athletic & smallest turnout of the choices)
    Stonecrest Theaters (Rebel Yell AO) – 7832 Rea Rd, Charlotte, NC 28277
  3. 0700 Metro Convergence
    A.G. Middle School – 1800 Runnymede Ln, Charlotte, NC 28211

Perfect time to meet up with other brothers in other regions. Strongly suggest clown car to these sites to enhance the 2nd F.

Another convergence happens this Saturday, 11/24. Commitment shuts down to converge with Outland (1409 Wesley Chapel Rd, Indian Trail, NC 28079). Start time = 0700. Even though there will only be 3 EUC’s present on Saturday, those who show are good guys. Still a great location with acres of fun.

Fuse is upset that Hooch & I are not gratuitous self-promoters for recently being on a Round Table podcast about job networking & recruiting. If you don’t regularly listen, the Round Table podcasts (typically) come out on Fridays. They cover one F3 related topic each time – wide variations. Then, on Mondays, in the same spot, there is a 43 Feet podcast. This is Dark Helmet & Dredd talking about leadership principles and culture components of F3 (which, in a leaderless group of leaders, has some fascinating underlying premises). If you use an Apple device, search for F3 Nation in the podcasts thingy. If you tend to enjoy using more brain cells with your Droid, then download the free Soundcloud app & search for F3 Nation. It will look VERY similar to this:

Redemption at Watchtower

After a dangerous run-in with a toilet the previous week, Beltway’s VQ did, in fact, take place. Let’s roll!


  • SSH (25)
  • Cherry Pickers (15) – hold and walk hands over to right ankle and then left ankle for the stretch
  • Merkins (20)
  • Peter Parkers (20)


Mosey on over the back way to the green benches. Partner up.
1 partner runs the entire loop (yes, around both islands for the Pax that didn’t hear me say it the first time) while the other begins one of 3 exercises. In honor of my daughter’s 40 days at Governor’s School, we will do multiples of 40:
 Side wall step ups (40 each leg). These were supposed to be bench step-overs, but apparently WHS is replacing floors and needed a place to store materials.
 Donkey kicks (80)
 Squats (120)
As others were finishing, Bottlecap led a group in American Hammers.

Mosey to the bridge for impromptu walking lunges. There was quite a bit of chatter behind me. Not sure what about!

Continue on to the Wall of Fame where we did:
 20 of each: step ups, derkins and dips
Bear crawl to the Wall of Fame and back
 10 of each: step ups, derkins and dips
Bear crawl to the Wall of Fame and back
 5 of each: step ups, derkins and dips
Bear crawl…
After crystal clear instructions, we may have heard Moneyball ask about the number of each, attempting to sow seeds of discord among the Pax.
Surprisingly, Bottlecap finished first and led others in wall-sits and heels to heaven while the rest of us completed the final bear crawl.

Mosey over to the track. Locked at every gate, so we found a flat practice field for a game of Catch Me If You Can. A few disgruntled Pax mentioned their disappointment at getting their shoes wet. Partner up with someone of similar speed:
P1 Run backwards down the field /
P2 (3) burpees and then run to tag P1. Switch.
All the way down the field and back two times.

Beltway was exhausted so he asked for a 10, wait, 15 count. Big Tuna kindly obliged.
With about 12 minutes left, we moseyed over to the brick pile for some shoulder (primarily) work:
 Shoulder presses (20)
 Straight lift in front (not sure what this is called) (15)
 Over/Behind head tricep (15)

Mosey back to the parking lot where Moneyball led SSHs. With about 3 minutes to go we did American Hammers and Flutters in cadence. Bottlecap and Moneyball commented on the seal-like sound coming from the Q’s lungs while counting. It’s a good thing we believe in #unoffendaballs!

Gentlemen, thank you for the opportunity to Q. It seemed challenging to Q from the back of the pack, but I made the best of it. Thanks to Posse for his help as Site Q.

Shampoodle, you will be greatly missed. I actually remember my second F3 workout with you and another Pax at Cuthbertson with all the different stations in the parking lot. We pray you and your family will thrive!

I didn’t know to record or mentally note—and remember—the announcements. Gypsy did announce an opportunity to participate in some upcoming 5ks. – Saturday June 30 | $25 | Speed for Need will be there. Need a few more #HIM’s to push Track Commanders | fighting domestic violence – Wednesday, July 4 | $35 | Speed for Need will be there. Need Shovel Flags & tons of F3 presence to run/volunteer | to see the impact of F3/SFN, check the 1st pic on the web page

Thanks to Moneyball for taking us out and reminding us of our call to be an example to our sons and daughters.

The Marshmallow Test

In the late 60’s / early 70’s, a group of Stanford professors began studying delayed gratification in children by using this marshmallow test. In these studies, a child was offered a choice between one small reward provided immediately, or two small rewards if they waited for approximately 15 minutes, during which time the tester left the room and then returned.  In follow-up studies years, even decades, later, the researchers found that children who were able to wait longer for the double reward tended to have better life outcomes, as measured by SAT scores, educational attainment, body mass index , and other life measures.

I like tests. I wanted to see if I could replicate this test in a workout.

The last several workouts I’ve Q’ed, I saw a strange look in Pax’ eyes. Finally, BottleCap just opened up and said, “Eh, I was expecting some music, too.” Hmm. I thought I had outgrown that phase. Thought it was too childish for F3. OK, I’ll see what I can do.

Disclaimery before Tomfoolery
“Marshmallow World” Dean Martin
THE Grease Monkey shows early. As the saying goes, the early Monkey gets the Respect shirt. An outstanding man, who I wish could/would post more than once a week. F3 would be better with more Grease. He’s so excited with the shirt, he swaps right there. Looks good on him.

As I try not to watch another man undress, a third guy walks up. “Is this the place for the F3?” I smell an FNG!  Gabe was told about F3 from a friend in Raleigh. He doesn’t know the dude’s F3 name. Just found us on the site and came (T-claps to Wingman for keeping the electrons in line). I try to give a pre-disclaimer, “Listen, I’m leading the workout today. This is…different…from most other workouts. Don’t judge whether to come back by what you see today.”  Seems unfazed by this warning.

Song’s over but it’s only 0528. That’s because there’s a disclaimer PLUS the test structure. Those wishing to sue me, the school, or F3 were directed to watch Petey the Don’t Sue People Panda video before taking legal action.
Because I have only bad ideas set to worse music, I advised that their best choice was to take one of my fist-sized marshmallows and leave right now. No one took me up on it.
OK, if you can wait 45 minutes, you can have *2* fist-sized marshmallows when we get back. Mild interest / bemusement. Everyone is going to have to take a turn lugging around the marshmallow sandbag – a Tupperware container filled with these marshmallows. WAY more clumsy, awkward, and silly than heavy. But they bought into it. You people are idiots.

The Warm Up
“Love Runs Out” One Republic
Mosey to the front of the HS.
I don’t like to Q, but the Qdrenalin rush is intoxicating. All the soreness in my legs for the last few weeks is GONE. Why can’t I feel this good during the other workouts? Circle up for the crowd pleaser…

“Shout” Isley Brothers
Burpees on chorus
‘I still remember’ = Supermans
‘I want you to know’= Plank Jacks
‘Now wait a minute’ = Peter Parkers
‘Little bit softer now’ = Squats
‘Little bit louder now’ = Jump Squats
‘Hey Hey Hey Hey’ = Mary Catherines
‘Jump up and shout it now’ = Tuck Jumps
Transporter can sing while doing burpees. Don’t let him do his burpees any other way from now on.

The Thang
The Bear Necessities” Disney
“I am a Gummy Bear” Gummibar
“I Wanna Be Your Teddy Bear”
Build a Bear Workshop – bear crawl up the ramp; rail walk back down; run to the other portico and bear slalom around the 3 silver columns. Do each station 3x.
Test – Does doing a hard thing while listening to bad music make the thing harder or easier? I think the Pax say easier. You can’t pay full attention to the physical pain, so there is perceived less pain.
Life Lesson: When something sucks, but still needs to get done, distract yourself just enough to keep doing the sucky thing. It’ll suck less.
Shop Dawg is singing Bear Necessities every time we cross paths.
A workout built for Doughboy, but all I remember hearing is Shake N Bake declaring his hatred for the Gummy Bear song.
While I’m on my last round, Doc & Transporter, of course, have finished first. I ask for side step ups on the benches. There are at least 5 benches around, but they choose the same bench, in sync, eyes locked on each other. Maybe these songs are aphrodisiacs?

“Band on the Run” Foo Fighters
Mosey to the end of the yellow buses.
Cheddar weave
This wasn’t in the plan. But when I realized there was no school, and my all-time favorite routine in my all-time favorite location is available, and it’s not summer, I gotta grab that cheddar flavored marshmallow.
Whoever finishes first needs to start labeling the rest of the Pax 1, 2, 1, 2. The second finisher leads the group in Heels to Heaven until the 6 come in. That’d be Doc & Transporter.

Mosey back down the sidewalk, about to the halfway mark of the buses.

“Apache – Jump On It” Sugar Hill Gang
There are horseshoes painted every few feet. 1 burpee per horseshoe. The trick, I said, is to NOT walk from 1 horseshoe to the next. I didn’t tell them to run, just to not walk. I was expecting things like bear crawling or jumping or something creative to get them from one horseshoe to the next. Nope, most everyone chose to run / jog / not walk. Simple. Effective.
Test – In the Stanford experiments, those kids who could not delay gratification were offered insight from the kids who could delay gratification. With the new techniques, the kids who initially failed now performed nearly as well as the other group. And the effects lasted for several months.
Life Lesson: Sometimes we only need a gentle reminder that a temptation / easy path is ahead. By making it a conscious pre-choice (instead of an unconscious reflexive choice), we stand a much better chance of overcoming the temptation.
As I came up for one of my burpees, I saw Jingles dance between 2 shoes that just stopped time. It was a move I only thought possible on the skating rink. Can’t describe it, other than to say I felt like I was peeking into a glade full of unicorns at sunrise. Magical.

Mosey around the corner to the tennis courts.
2 long benches the width of the tennis courts. The 1’s go to the left bench; 2’s to the right. Hop over from one side to the other along the entire length. Then go around to the other side of the court where you can find a single long bench. Merge the two lines into one and continue traversing. Total of 2 full laps. Rosalitas while we pick up the 6. Thanks to Abacus for getting my sound supplies. It’s the little things to help the Q with his timing. Shop Dawg complains that this exercise has no music. Ahhh, my friend, that’s to help you appreciate the music more when we get to the next station!

“Born to Run” Frankie Goes to Hollywood
Mosey to the wall. If you get there before me, ping pong back for the 6.
Didn’t know Goodfella wasn’t going to be here until after the playlist had been created. This one was for him. He feels this song is ear-blasphemy. It should only be sung by Springsteen. No remakes. No covers. Oh, he would have stayed right next to me just to tell me how wrong this is. T’would have been glorious.
Test – When it’s 1,000% humidity, on a longish run, from a mostly tough workout, will you go back for the 6? Sadly, not today. I was in the middle part of the group here. I failed, too. Using the excuse that I had to prep for when to start the next round.
Life Lesson: At a loss here. No one’s perfect, I guess? Aim to do better next time?

Off the Wall” Michael Jackson
Series of wall-based exercises during the song. Air presses / jabs; donkey kicks; 6 count wall walking merkin; Mike Tysons; Bobby Hurleys.
I’ve been trying to give less complicated verbal instructions by sometimes walking the Pax through a “sampler platter” of what the next station really involves. I thought this was one of those times. So we only did about 5 reps of the Mike Tysons & the Wall Merkins pre-song, just to make sure we were straight on terminology. This ended up taking way longer than it should have, and it ate into what was coming up next.
And I struggled on this one. This one’s coming off the playlist for something better. And it has nothing to do with Das Boot & Doc swaying to the music when we were doing air presses. But I still can’t unsee that.
Test – When you’re in the middle of something sucking, what’s your reaction?  Among those I saw were: determination to finish; stopping & looking to see if the Q was still going; having fun while continuing.
Life Lesson: Like most things, there is no right answer. A deeper question may be, are you satisfied with your reaction? By looking around, you may realize you convinced yourself there was only one reaction, which was yours. By seeing another reaction from someone you respect, you realize there is a choice to be made, even if you didn’t realize a choice was available at all.

“Get Up” Van Halen
Mosey to the sidewalk between the cafeteria & the track. American Hammers while everyone gets in. Along the way, Sidewalky McShortCut, assuming to be the only one on campus, decides to see how fast they can speed down the sidewalk in a Corolla. “Car up!” never quite had that trill of urgency before. We all slide to the right, Corolla slides to the left, looking dangerously close to rolling over, but never slowing down. I’m grateful this happened in full daylight; pretty scared how this could have fared during the winter months. May need a mid-workout disclaimer: “Watch out for the car driving on the sidewalk, but they are not included in our litigation exclusion list.”

“2 Legit 2 Quit”M.C. Hammer
All the other stuff was leading up to this. Now, I can see the Cheddar Weave and the Sampler Platter took up too much time to fit this piece in its entirety. So, I won’t give away the whole structure; that will have to wait for another time.
Flutters to Failure – using PERFECT FORM (legs straight, toes pointed [as if you were actually swimming]), continue fluttering until you either pause, legs hit the ground, etc. Once done, run to the first light pole along the track and back. You can point out bad form in others.
Test – When given the chance to last longer than your competitors by cheating on your own, what will you do? First of all, many of you need to talk to your doctors about proprioception deficit. Most of you had knees bent, toes bent – it was embarrassing to see that in daylight.  Being next to Transporter & Doc, I was shocked at the amount of cheating they did to try to outlast each other.  I weep for our region.
Life Lesson: The male ego is a fragile thing. Those who have done well in a certain area can be tempted to cheat to maintain the illusion of mastery. The opposite is also true. Those who have not done well in a certain area can be tempted to give up too early to reinforce their mindset of amateurism. Those in the middle, ironically, can be the ones most likely to realistically assess their own abilities. So being in the middle can bring a lens of clarity that others may lack, depending on where they are viewing the same circumstances.

Mosey back to start. Arrive 1 minute late.

As people circle up for COT, I pass around the hand sanitizer. Why people are freaked out about that, I can’t figure out. If you’d rather eat your marshmallows with filthy hands, that’s on you, but hasn’t your Mom ever taught you about cross-contamination? It’s been an eye opening Q, folks. Behind the sanitizer, the marshmallows get passed around. Doc mentions that if one of them has a different flavor, that is probably his when he had a turn carrying the tub. Several are taking a hard pass on the marshmallows. Do you think this is another test? Yeah, I could make a case for it, but I won’t. I was expecting most Pax to do Name-a-Rama with the giant marshmallows halfway down their gullets à la Chubby Bunny. We appear to be too sophisticated for such adolescence. I cry inside again.

Name the FNG – Gabe works in lighting, but Transporter remarked at how well he did on the rail walk during Build a Bear. Somehow that got shifted into Pole Dancer. I love the name; just wish I had a better story for the guy.

Let’s bring it in.

Assuming Doc was still upset at not winning Flutters to Failure with bad form, he cites Dromedary with bad COT form. Says that we should be in more Ball of Man formation instead of a circle. In the absence of any current or former Dromedary Site Q’s to question the policy change, the Pax comply into a standing BoM.

I am simultaneously an obsessively compulsive, contrarian, and secessionist Sandlapper.  So when this affront to our geometric way of life occurred, I went off the rails. I invoked the clause that we don’t have to close up shop with a prayer. Because we are not a Christian organization, no one is obligated to pray us out. So I used the time instead to tell ’em about my

Gave the Pax the details of the Marshmallow test. In life, we are always tempted to take the quick 1 marshmallow reward. Getting to the 2nd marshmallow always takes time, effort, and being uncomfortable while doing it. But I notice the 2nd marshmallow isn’t just twice as good as the first; it’s a whole different level and type of reward. For example:
+ setting the phone down to engage with your family
+ stopping the porn to have a meaningful relationship with your wife
+ not goofing off at work to do what you’re paid to do

To summarize:

  • There are more marshmallow tests you experience than you may realize. Become aware.
  • When you fail the test, acknowledge and forgive yourself. Know another test will be coming soon.
  • Failures are rarely the result of character flaws. Given the right conditions, anyone is capable of anything.  And you can mold your conditions.
  • Look to others who pass similar tests that you fail. What did they do differently?
  • Roles will reverse. You will be able to share your successes. Be humble and kind in the sharing.



Pool Party to raise funds for #Sandbox
Friday, June 8, 7:30 – 10:00 PM
Lawson Pool 2306 Lawson Dr, Waxhaw, NC 28173
$40 / family (payable on site or in advance at to RSVP (so they can get a count of pizza and beer)


Sanctuary begins a new book about the parables of Jesus
Monday nights – Brooklyn Pizza in Wesley Chapel

Operation Sweet Tooth Virtual Race Recap

Had to start the disclaimer at 6:28 because I had a lot to say and didn’t want to have it cut into the solid run time.  When I got to the legal portion of the disclaimer, they seemed confused when I used the juris jargon of douchbagery and ass-clownery.  I can tell because they kept bringing it up throughout the workout. Mostly used in the wrong context and naming me as the object and/or propagator of such terms.

Warm Up & The Thang

Run to While Waiting for the 6 to Arrive Exercise While Waiting for the 6 to Finish Comments
Bus parking lot ———— High Knees
Butt Kickers
———– Once I said Butt Kickers, some immediately asked for A Skips & B Skips. Sorry, you only find those Prancing Unicorn warm ups at places like Pursuit.
Student parking lot ———— Karaoke L / R
Side Straddles L / R
Peter Parker Gave Pax 3 options to get from student parking lot to behind the school, based on total distance. This seemed like a good way to keep the Pax together; different Pax with different speeds take different paths to get to the same spot in relative synchrony. I took the shortest route. Suggested Bottlecap and his kind take the longest option. This took way longer than I thought for the long way group. For a minute, it felt like they started Coffeeteria early.
Blue handrails Supines Loop with squats x5 Parallel Supines 1 squat at 3 of the corners in each loop.
One corner was a spot 50 feet from where we work all around, but never saw any work done there before. #UndiscoveredCountry #Deflowered
———— ———— Lunge walk across bridge
Backwards run uphill to flags
Air presses against concession stand Recalculating can run faster backwards than forwards. There’s a joke in there, but I’m too bemused to come up with one.
Center of practice field Plank Jacks Starfish Burpee Heels to Heaven
Plank Jacks
Side Straddle Hops
Moneyball screams as we head toward the field.
We get there as a group, so no plank jacks. Don’t know what to make of that. So I push the plank jacks for fast finishers. Bottlecap plants the refusnik shovel flag by doing Side Straddle Hops instead.
Trail run to Elementary School gate Drop it like its hot (fence squat) SSH Suicides Jack Webb in the grass
Something must have happened to the Pax at the Floater on Thursday. They have that look in their eye that IED’s have been implanted into their shoulders. One shoulder heavy exercise, and it’s over. Who could have done such a thing? Glad I never go there.

But their anti-shoulder choice feels more like an inFRACKtion has spread within the Pax. I felt like I was on the wrong side of history as early finishers chose to have a crunch in, or LBC-in. The silent protest was deeply moving.

Bus parking lot ———— Bus-i-cides Clock Merkins
Stand & Stare “Pass on Grass!”
Rockwell’s Clock Merkins would have been perfect here. Another refusal. Now Moneyball is invoking his credo – Pass on Grass. Saying it loud & defiantly. It emboldens the others. My feelings are starting to get butthurt. I’m too tired to think of anything else. I’m so locked into this plan & I feel like I emptied the Exicon on this one. I suppose if they are staring, then maybe they are a scoonch tired, too?
Manhole cover Dips Bobby Hurley / Step Overs Curb Agilities Staying pretty tight as a group. Some are confused between a manhole cover and a drain. Damascus begins to tell us everything he’s learned about manholes, but we gotta get going. Starting to get a little behind schedule.
Blue handicap spots Rosalitas 4 Corner Mountain Climbers Amy Grants (J. Lo’s) Mad Dog finds his second wind here, running way out front with authority to the next location!
———— ———— Up Middle School road | Imperial Walkers EITHER:
+ at every light pole AND sign
+ at every light pole OR sign
+ at end
Monkey Humpers By ignoring Moneyball’s request for A / B skips earlier, he retaliates with Imperial Walkers plus kick-ball-change. There may have been jazz hands, but the sun was in my eyes (or his bedazzled toboggan was catching the rays just right).

Pax are now frolicing with their Monkey Humpers, keeping it all nice & adolescent, until someone mentions Human Centipede Monkey Humpers. Ew. That got dark real quick. We’ve been out here too long. These boys aren’t used to being so far from the high school. Let’s get them back home.

Gate Dying Cockroach 5 Tree suicide | Open / Close gates Brick work This was the first time I remember having the open & closed gates as an exercise. Most guys do it warming up, so I thought it wouldn’t be that big a deal. But judging by most Pax’s execution of said exercises, you would have thought I gave each one a bottle of lotion and told them to go explore their bodies. I think they doth protest too much for Man Touch Mondays.
Watchtower parking lot via trail run Bearwalk | Crabwalk | Duckwalk to other end (any combo)
Sprint to pedestrian crossing Hug Poor directions here led to the group getting spread out too much. We got to the light right at 7:30, but BC & MB had soccer games to catch & had to leave on the minute. For those who could stay, they emptied their tanks on the final lap. Especially impressed with how Fusebox had plenty to pass me on Turn 2.

Moleskin Realizations

  • When Olive first announced this race, I knew I wanted to go. An early morning 2.0 soccer game, however, made that impossible to accomplish both. When he allowed for virtual running, I thought it could be done as a workout. I can run 6 miles in an hour; wouldn’t running 5 be easier? No, as it turns out.
  • Once I claimed the Q spot for this day, I really only expected 2, maybe 3 Pax.  Speedsters would balk because maybe that didn’t seem like much of a workout. Clydesdales would refuse because it was farther than the typical 2-3 mile workouts we are used to. Wrong there as well.
  • I had a different sense of motivation for this workout over any other. It seemed like an aggressive ask:
    • 5 miles in an hour
    • still keep it boot camp-y
    • keep Speedsters & Clydesdales together
    • allow for massive modifications
    • avoid the track
    • diversify the workout
    • no time for 10 counts
      And I could not modify. Strava is running on my arm. If I’m not taking the steps, it’s not counting.
  • In chatting with Olive post race. I’m now realizing that by me not going on site, paradoxically more people got involved in the race. I’m still confused by that math.
  • Normally I’m hanging with the 6 and talking to any FNG’s. This time, though, I was so focused on timing and mileage that I just didn’t have the bandwidth for that. What did warm my heart, though, was seeing others fall in beside our FNG, Spicoli, throughout the hour. While I’m sure there were more than Fusebox, Bottlecap, & Transporter, those were just the ones I remember seeing. Some days, when I get really full of myself, I think, “Would anyone else out here be with the 6 if I didn’t?” Today’s realization was a strong yes. Even more sobering, there was a bonus realization that maybe I should be working harder myself; move up to the middle of the pack, and let others go back for the 6. Maybe I’m taking away someone else’s opportunity to be that encouragement. I do have plenty of other things I can work on, like #WatchtowerQWhispering.
  • I had several bullet points of half thought through emotional points. I kept coming back to them, but couldn’t get a complete message out of them. That’s what took so long. Finally, just had to scrap it. That just means I have to Q again to complete another novella.


Spicoli takes the prize for best FNG story. He first meets Transporter because Trans wants to rent Spic’s conversion van for the P200 race. Couple days later, they find each other at the same church. They’ve only known each other for about a month. Spicoli’s from Southern California. The Fast Times reference is completely lost on Transporter, having never even heard of the movie. Even StubHub looked over at him and said, “Seriously, dude?” Other nuances that let me know this was a perfect name – he arrives the day after 4/20; he’s almost the same age as Sean Penn.


Lawson Vendor Fair is tomorrow, I mean, last week. It will bring out at least 3 FNG’s, I guarantee it. #MoreThanACraftFair

We counted to purple

12 Pax relive my Mardi Gras night on Bourbon Street back in college

Having listened to F3 Roundtable discussion about the importance of a disclaimer, I decided to make sure that we got fully disclaimed before we even took the first step. Unfortunately, Delta decided to walk away as I was giving the disclaimer. And then somebody else skidding in on two wheels never heard it (no, that wasn’t me at the last minute; I’m never more than 10 minutes late for my own Q’s). So to prevent any lawsuits from those two for today’s ass-clownery, here is the disclaimer:

“I am not a professional, and that’s probably the nicest thing anyone’s ever said about me. You are an idiot if you follow me. I have a series of bad ideas that get worse as we go along. You should modify these so called exercises in whatever fashion you choose of your own free will, up to and including getting in your car and going home right now. Suing me, the school, or F3 is the highest form of douchebaggery and ass-hattery there is, and you will not be my friend anymore if you do.


With a shout of the start of Mardi Gras, I ran off in a completely straight line to get us started. Those behind me claim that I was running across curbs and in the grass, but I think they were drunk. Fusebox asked “Posse, am I supposed to be following right behind you?” Seemed like an odd question.

I stopped to catch my breath at the end of the parking lot. That was a lot longer than I expected. I feel like I ran a mile just now, while everyone else is barely at the quarter mile. Are we done yet?

We continue to the small bus parking lot where I kind of got turned around and didn’t quite remember where I was supposed to be going. We ended up at the green benches under the portico. There I led some side straddle hops, but my speech was a little slurry, so they didn’t quite understand me. I think I talked about my childhood dog, Smush.


Guys guys guys! I got a great idea! Let’s go grab a rock! Curls x20

Okay I got an even better idea! Let’s take this rock and run to the W on the far side of the parking lot! We’ll go in a straight line, which means go around the outside parking lot loop. Once there, we did flutter presses with the rock (on your back doing bench presses while doing flutters simultaneously) until everyone got in. Great drunk simulator, BTW. Then set the rock down in space 318 and let’s side skip down to the rock pile closer to the highway.

Grab a rock from the rock pile. This time curl to press x 20.

Guys I got a better idea! Let’s run back to that other corner that we were just at and do Dolly presses until everyone gets in. Set the rocks down at spot 243.

This place sucks.

Backwards run to the ORIGINAL rock pile and do mountain climbers until everyone gets in.

Grab a rock from the rock pile – this time we’ll do bent over rows x20.


Hey guys! Let’s run back to the other rock pile with this rock. I think the band’s about to get started. Triceps until everyone gets in.

Set the rock down on spot 30.


Grab another rock.  This time halos: 6 in one direction and 6 in the other.


Hey guys, let’s take these rocks back to where we just were on the other side of the rock pile. I like the bartender better over there anyway. Thrusters until everyone gets in.

Set your rock down on space 80. Let’s Mosey.


We mosey to the middle of the parking lot where we plank up, because I lost a contact. Nobody bothered to help me. Bastards.


Then I realized Mom and Dad are going to be home soon. Guys! This place is a mess! We got to get all these rocks cleaned up before Mom and Dad get home! Let’s go! So everyone scattered to the farthest corners of the parking lot, grabbing rocks and bringing them back to the rock pile – EXACTLY where we got them from. For the girls who brought their rocks out, we could take two at a time.


Run Flat led some LBC’s until everyone got in.


So with the bars closed, we decided to take to the streets to earn some beads. Mosey to the portico again where I explained:

B = burpees. We will do 5 at this side of the bus island; run to the other side 5 more burpees; repeat for a total of 40 burpees (the 40 days of Lent)

E = Emperial Walkers 10 on each side of the island until you get to 40.

A = American Hammers. 15 on each side of the island until you get to 40.
Hollywood, who I think works in some math related field, said that’s 60, not 40. It was 40 last night when I was drawing this up.

D = dips. Do 20 on the bench; run the entire loop and then do 20 more and then run another loop

S = squats do 40 squats all in the same spot.


During this time, Old Man Stickleg drove up asking who we were. Beltway was flying solo at this part. I don’t know what Beltway told him to keep him from calling the cops on us, but it worked. You want him for your wingman.


I think only Hollywood outright earned his beads. The rest cut it short because math kills a good buzz.


Mosey back to the cars.



+ Madison’s CPR class is closed. I sure hope you people know how to bring me back to life without using that Flatliners crap.

+ Brolympics – Do you even, bro? Participate or volunteer. There is no fartsacking. Ranger has a soccer game immediately afterwards, 1 mile away. Still volunteering. Bro’s in IR are volunteering (I see you, McFly). It’s our home people. Tuxedo shirts are optional, but classy.


Frack would have been proud – no warm up and announcements lasted no longer than a quality burp.

Hollywood seemed surprised that we got 3 miles in. Well, for you #StraightMilers, it was 3. I easily clocked 27.

DoughBoy said it was like controlled chaos. I assure you, I blacked out about halfway through. You must have been at a different workout than me.

The name-a-rama was filmed in a slightly more sophomoric selfie-style. It gave me a chance to tell the guys how much I loved them (and some of their sisters). In no way should that video ever see the light of day.

5 Fastest Marathoners in UC

The Fort Mill Pax created a 5K Relay CSAUP a couple years ago that was a rousing success.  In the inaugural year, BTW, it was won by SOB/UC men.

The Rock Hill Pax saw this, and raised it up to a marathon relay, dubbing it The Rooster (there’s probably a story in the here, but your imagination may work just as well). 26.2 miles of suck, spread over 5 Pax.

Partner 1 = Miles 1, 6, 11, 16, 21 = Jingles
Partner 2 = Miles 2, 7, 12, 17, 22 = Old MacDonald
Partner 3 = Miles 3, 8, 13, 18, 23 = Posse
Partner 4 = Miles 4, 9, 14, 19, 24 = Ranger
Partner 5 = Miles 5, 10, 15, 20, 25 = Land Shark

Wait – who does Mile 26 (& 0.2)? The whole group runs together.
So each person will run 6 miles; just not all at once. It is basically the Joe Davis 10K from 2 weeks ago, spread out over several hours.

Sounds pretty awesome, right? I know!

The Warm Up

Meet at Indian Land Elementary to clown car to Winthrop Coliseum.

Let me pause to equate clown car’ing as the secret 2nd F. YHC clown car’ed on Friday, Saturday morning, & Saturday afternoon – a total of 10 other Pax spread across 3 rides. Each conversation was rich and diverse. Not being all that much of a talker in person, I tend to shy away from the clown car. I worry about the Car Ride of Silence. It has proven itself time and again to be a false fear. The boys on Screech Owl do love them some clown car’ing; they are my shining beacon of another street. There are some other pairings out there (Longhorn & Hooch, Deflated & Foundation), but I don’t know of trips & quads like Screech Owl. If you haven’t done it (or done it in a while), time to step into that other man’s car.


The warm up continued with bringing our gear out to a pre-dawn field in Rock Hill. Then offering to help set up pop-up tents of other teams who thought about bringing fire pits or gas heaters. It was everyone’s first rodeo, but some were MUCH more experienced than others.

The Thang

Prior to the start, Rock Hill’s Popeye gave a few words. RH Popeye’s day job is Public Relations Officer for either RHPD or York County Sherriff’s. So when the 4 officers were shot last week (with the YCSD officer dying from his wounds a few days ago), it was Popeye in the public eye across all media. He had a range of emotions in those few minutes, and rightfully so.  Relief at being able to unplug from that strain for a little while as he surrounds himself with a different group of brothers. Regret at not being able to see his fallen comrade again, missing his hugs and his good works. Reaffirmation that he and all past and future law enforcement officers would literally take a bullet for you. For me. For anyone else in harm’s way. It was a humbling reminder of what kind of life and death choices others make so I can go about my day in my own little bubble.

Dawn breaks on a beautiful open field with a lake that we will be circling. The path is all paved. It is 28°. Jingles and I are ecstatic, because that makes it 20° warmer than when we ran the Joe Davis a couple weeks earlier.

Jingles runs the first mile and brings back intel that the loop isn’t actually 1 mile. It’s 1.3 miles. OM confirms this. At this point, these 2 begin Beautiful Minding / NASCAR Crew Chiefing the ramifications of such news. OM starts with taking our individual lap times and doing some kind of New Age Math on figuring out our actual mile times. Jingles figures out we won’t have to do all 5 laps apiece to get to 26.2; that we’ll get to it much sooner. This realization comes to all the teams at one point or another. I’m certain we were first in realization & calculations (hence the title).

When it was all done, we ended up doing 31 miles in a total time of 3 hours 25 minutes. I went to school in South Carolina, so if there’s any mathematical disparity in what I just wrote, I don’t want to hear about it.

Frosty Moleskin

Ranger (my 2.0) learned several things. He learned that running with someone makes everything better. On his second lap, he just happened to start with Dr. Suess. Don’t know what region he’s from, but they had a full conversation at a 7:30 pace(?!?). It was over before he knew it, but those few minutes was all it took for him to learn that life lesson. They were never able to synch up again on future laps. Ranger also didn’t see Dr. Suess when it was time to leave.  Another life lesson – tell those you meet how much they matter to you RIGHT THEN, even if it’s only for a short time.  And a bonus lesson for those of you reading – you never know how much of an impact you will make to someone. Double bonus – those moments of impact, may be just that – moments.

Ranger suffers from the same mindless eating that his father does. Ate too much between laps 2 & 3, so laps 3 on didn’t treat him well. However, when his time came, he would step up for his leg of the run. When he wanted to walk one of the later laps, he asked Land Shark if they could run together. Clearly an upgrade from what I would have done, even a year ago. I would have run during the part when my crew could see me, then walk the rest of the hidden way. Ranger chooses to #shieldlock with someone faster. Someone who will pull more out of him. If I were in his shoes, I would have run with someone much slower, so I would not have to expect so much out of myself.
I became Captain Obvious to him in the car afterwards.  “When you come up against adversity, will you choose to saddle up with someone who will push you to your full measure, or will you look for someone who will encourage you to take the easy, mediocre, least effort, least growth way?” The intellectual answer seems obvious, but making the courageous choice has been difficult for me. I do find that I am making the hard choice more often, with less friction, since joining F3.

Jingles has a lion heart. He tweaked his knee playing with his boys during Snowmageddon this week.  He didn’t say anything until the convergence on Friday. I think he only said something to explain why he may be a little slower than expected. There was never a doubt to him that he wouldn’t be out there come Saturday morning. With each lap, the pain continued to grow. Determined to do his laps, but worried about the time, he asked Old MacDonald to partner with him (see above life lessons). At the end of the event, visibly limping, he admitted that he had 2 Aleve in his pocket the whole time. But he didn’t want to take them to mask the pain, so as to not make a tweak potentially turn into something worse (hopefully I didn’t violate some HIPPA thing just now; hopefully the disclaimer about not suing me also covers medical). Sound, practical thinking. As for me, I’m allergic to pain. I would have downed whatever I could have to numb the pain. With that many days to think about the pain, I would have likely tapped out or looked for a replacement. Jingles, you continue to reveal more of your heart with each race I run with you. Thanks for sharing.

Land Shark was the first to join the team. Spurred by a desire to make the IL track team this spring, he thought this would be great conditioning / testing grounds. He will be judged by his mile time, so why not test it 5 or 6 times in a day? Find someone to chase down. Find your stride. Find your breath. Find your rhythm. He was put on the anchor leg because this would be the person who would have to run the final lap, then immediately go right back out there to run again with the whole group. And the other 4 would have a break not afforded to the 5th. He accepted it without hesitation or argument. If you’ve been in the workouts with him, he’s the epitome of “less talk, more work”. But he did speak up quite a bit during the CSAUP. And it was all positive encouragement. He’s a lifter. You want this one on your team. I’m calling dibs for the next set of partner work.

Old MacDonald. At first, he was willing to let LS run this thing as the only member of the MacDonald family. But it only took a few hours to realize that this would be a great bonding experience with his son. If you’ve never heard this before, Steven Covey talks about being an effective parent means spending time not just as a family, but spending time as one parent : one child. Have a special time / event / phrase that only the 2 of you share. Each one learns their own uniqueness, which gives them the confidence to express their uniqueness when the group needs that gift. Solid work, Mac. I also learned that he is an exceptional planner. Once we got the group together, I should have just handed off the controls to Old M. It took me to the last minute to get the info out to the group. He also is much better with names than I am. I called our group “O.G.’s & Upgrades”, but he had a string of alternates. My favorites: “3+Two.0”. “Generation Gap”, “We Thought This Was a 5K”, and my winner, “The Young & the Rest of Us”. He is also to blame for this backblast.  I had no intention of doing one (why start now?), but he slid a compliment with an assumptive close so fast, I didn’t realize I just said yes to writing this up. Not that this should have been kept secret, but it’s taken longer to write this up that it did to run the marathon. Still, you all deserve to know the kind of people you run around with. If there’s someone you should run around with more, it’s this guy.

Did I learn anything about myself? Sure.
I’m close enough to breaking the 9:00 minute mile that it makes me want to start working on that.
I’m hard on my son until I write up something like this to realize he’s making better decisions than I did at that age. It’s a harder time, yet he’s handling it better.
I’m surrounded by so many great people everywhere I go now. It’s so pervasive that my thinking is shifting away from “I don’t belong here” to “where do I fit?” It excites and scares me.
I gotta write shorter backblasts if I ever want to see my family again.

Down, Set, Hut! Hut!

Posted on behalf of Troylette.  Before you read his words, read these:
There is no off position on Troylette’s HIM switch.  First off, no one EH’ed him; he just shows up one morning like a badass.  Then he just keeps getting better.  I know that’s the point, but not everyone’s trajectory is so straight.  When he Q’s, you can count on 30 – 187% will be stuff we haven’t done before (as you will see below). He’s fairly quiet on site (or more likely, he’s so far ahead of me I can’t hear him), but seems to have encyclopedic access to phenomenal memes for off site smack talk. I lack that skill, so all I can do is be his hype man.
He’s a regular for the 3rd F (Sanctuary), and has taken on a huge piece of this project mentioned in the Moleskin below. He’s just put the sandbag on his shoulders and ran with it. And brought stunning results, just coming out of the gate!
Oh, he also crafted a weight loss challenge whose structure is part fantasy football, part Roberts Rules of Order.  It’s heady, but 3 themes abide – show up, lead us, weigh less.
I’m so glad Troylette is part of F3.  He is sharpening all of us.

OK, back to Troylette’s BB:

Warm Up:
Quick Mosey to start of walkway behind school
Walking Lunges
Knee Up w/ hip rotation (Opening & Closing the Gates)
Straight Leg Kick (Toy Soldiers?)

Partner Up and rotate between Dot Drill & Ground Exercise 35 seconds on & 10 seconds rest, and flapjack

Round Dot Drill Ground Exercise
1 2-1-2 front/back Merkins
2 Right Foot Hops Diamond Merkins
3 Left Foot Hops Flutters
4 2 Ft Slalom Merkins
5 2-1-2 rotate Diamond Merkins

Posse here again – Troylette had put 5 pieces of tape in a checkerboard pattern on each sidewalk square.  It felt like we were practicing for the Hop Scotch / Double Dutch Winter Nationals.  I kid because I sucked at it.

Mirror Drill (35 seconds work, 10 seconds rest, flapjack)

  • Lunge position with right foot up shuffle side to side mirror partner x 2 (Left Tackle Stance)
  • Lunge position with left foot up shuffle side to side mirror partner x 2 (Right Tackle Stance)

Mirror Lean Drill  (35 seconds work, 10 seconds rest, flapjack)

  • Same as Mirror Drill except w/ partner leaning in and rotating to provide different points contact (chest, shoulder, back)

Mosey to end of walkway

People Bag Drill

Spread out across walkway and begin working way up with person on end going through people bag x2

  • Side Shuffle
  • Front Back
  • Hop Over
  • Bear Crawl

Troylette never gave the disclaimer, then stepped on my elbow during this drill. #SueTheQ

People’s Chair w/ rock Pass

Round 1 Left Side start w/ 5 rock raises & Right Side start w/ 5 steering wheels

Round 2 Left Side start w/ 5 chest press & Right Side start w/ 5 overhead press

Duck Walk back across sidewalk to main walkway and mosey to start of walkway

End with Partner Resistance Sled Work including 10 up downs

Great work by the Pax and embracing something a little different this morning.  Had chance to bring out some of the old Football O-Line drills and modify with a F3 twist.

Had the opportunity to learn what old man strength was when going against Shop Dog at end when he was not giving any ground.

Got to hear a little chatter about upcoming game this weekend with BottleCap and Damascus leading way on Pats end, and Dirty Bird holding down for the Falcons with a whole bunch of bandwagon fans coming on to support the Falcons.  Rumor still has it that if Falcons win that in the following weeks days, Dirty Bird will be on Q.


More details about Debbie’s house project and opportunity to assist.  Below is link to gofundme page for donations, and further details will come out early next week on opportunity to provide assistance with project.  Tentative date is for President’s day weekend  Feb 18-19.

Sign up Genius for manpower coming next week.

Thank you Bottlecap for taking us out.

(Training) Wheels Fall Off

When I sent out the preblast last night, it was met with crickets.  Not a good sign.  A few of them read it, but others openly declared that they never read preblasts, for fear of getting syched out and not going.  There’s some good logic in there.

My plan was to hand off the Q to everyone in the group, having them do the hard work of Q’ing.  The sheet I came up with was going to help give some guidance if needed.  Basically, I signed up to cheat my way out of Q’ing.  To say I Q’ed without actually Q’ing.  But my efforts to abdicate my leadership responsibilities were thwarted by my own tendency to overcomplicate matters.

We started with a mosey to the bus parking lot, led by Ranger, my 2.0.  Line up across the lot and race to the 2nd speed bump.  The order you come in was going to determine the order of who would Q when.  This turned out to be a red herring, as I already realized passing the Q wasn’t going to work.  Still, it got us in the area for Ranger to lead…

The Warm Up

  • 10 Burpees OYO – OK, the young buck wants to throw the 1st punch, fine!
  • Imperial Walkers IC
  • Carolina Dry Docks IC
  • Reverse Lunges IC
  • Merkins IC

The Thang

Grab a rock.  Find one who can stick by you to the end.

People’s chair – air presses with your rock
Hold that rock out there…
People’s chair – air presses with your rock

Head down to the front of the bridge.  Diamond merkins while we wait for the 6.

Sevens – mountain climbers at the bottom, step ups / box jumps on the tables at the top of the stairs.  No rocks here.
Fast finisher?  Then do curl to presses with your rock while you wait for the 6.

High knees with rock overhead while you go across the bridge.  “He said heiney…”, said half the Pax.  No, that joke never gets old.

Small field just past the bridge was a perfect place for Lt. Dan to salute us.  The Jack Webb of legs = 1 squat to 4 lunges up to 10 squats & 40 lunges.  This seemed to be the most unhappy I had seen the Pax in a while.  Thankfully, Bottle Cap channeled the spirit of Kevorkian with his gutteral, mega-machismo counts that he normally does on a Jack Webb.  However, the lunges force you to go slower than you can on air presses.  Popeye wants to put Lt. Dan in front of a firing squad.

Pinball (with your rock) up to the knee wall in front of the track.  Dips (rock optional) & Derkins

On the track, partner up for a little Catch Me If You Can.  You only need 1 rock between the 2 of you, so each guy was eyeing and fondling each other’s stones to pick a winner.  This adolescent humor was being led by the adults, and not the 2.0’s.
Partner 1 does 30 American Hammers while Partner 2 takes off with a rock around the track.  Partner 1 chases him down and they flapjack.
The title was awkwardly appropriate for YHC.  I was P1, but I never caught my P2, Comacho.  Not even close.  Like Katie Ledecky 800 m not even close. I think I saw him finish up ‘War & Peace’ when I strolled up to him.  Good thing we only did it for 1 lap.
SSH until the 6 came in.

Mosey to the small grassy field on the other side of the concession stands.
Hot Potato – Partners face each other on their 6, locking legs together.  P1 does a WWII sit up with the rock and passes it to P2.  Flapjack.
Apparently, I do have a talent to incorporate an exercise in every workout that instantly reminds everyone of the Ambiguously Gay Duo.  Uh, what’s everyone looking at?

Mosey to the top of the home stands with your rock.  Let’s run the stadium steps, rock optional.  With Transporter first in the gauntlet, he effectively rock-shamed others into running the stairs with their rocks.
While waiting on the other side of the stands, Shop Dog led with people’s chair rock air presses until everyone finished.

Mosey back to the low wall for Scorpion Dry Docks.  New to some, pleasure for all.

Karaoke with your rock down the sidewalk, showing some WMS football teams how it’s done.  The way they huddled together, you could tell they were impressed.

Lunge walk across the bridge.  Jump squats while you wait for the 6.

We gotta drop our friends back off at the rock pile, but not before we take a suicide pact to each corner of the school.  That was the slowest suicide I had seen in F3.  Might this be a proper beatdown?

Rosalitas in the bus parking lot while everyone says good bye to Rocky.

Jailbreak to the front parking lot.

One minute left, so we leave it like we start it; Ranger introduces us to the Merkin Jack (a plank jack with a merkin combo).  He came up with it on his own and wanted to make sure it got into his VQ.  Unfortunately, a car was pulling through our circle just before we started this.  Technically, it was time.  Fortunately, we all have seen enough soccer now to know that extra time can be added at the end in circumstances like these.  Thanks for being flexible.

Between the count-o-rama and the name-o-rama, I told a too long story.
A few weeks back was my 1 year anniversary in F3.  With that has come a lot of losses:

  • 32 pounds
  • 1 shirt size
  • 2 pant sizes
  • 1 underwear size
  • foot size going from wide to regular
  • 1 neck size

This is all a credit to F3.  I had not been able to achieve ANY of that on my own.  The proof is the 3 YEARS of YMCA dues paid without once stepping foot onto a single property.  I failed trying to do this on my own.
With friends and neighbors who consistently encouraged me to do F3 (and it took months of EH’ing), they deserve the credit for those results.  They should also get the credit for these that occurred in the same year:

  • 4 5K OCR’s
  • 2 5K’s with my 2.0’s
  • 2/3 of a sprint triathlon
  • Spartan Sprint
  • Spartan Super

So as I went around on the name-o-rama, I gave each person a choice of how to be thanked for their time, efforts, and encouragement – full on bro-hug, hand slap one-armed hug, or fist bump.  Everyone chose the bro-hug.  Even the 2.0’s without their Dads present.  It wasn’t creepy in the least.


Seriously, you’re still reading this?

The title came from my plan of yesterday spectacularly failing on reaching the cold light of the Twittersphere.  The wheels were falling off.  I thought sure this was going to be a horrible time.  I was pre-embarrassed.  I was taking that embarrassment out on my family, especially Ranger.

The closer to 0630 we got, the more I realized I was going to have to Omaha the whole workout, with the exception of Ranger’s parts.  But I did it, much to my surprise.  I was barely 1 exercise in front of the Pax in my head.  Even leading from behind, I kept the 12’s busy so they didn’t have to plank on their own.

I got the time management thing right.  Got us all back to the start so we had the opportunity to end on the minute.  Normally, I’d attribute it to luck, but I actually knew what I was doing.

But my biggest surprise when it came time for me to do cadence counts of these exercises.  I’ve avoided it every Q I did prior, knowing full well that I didn’t have the cardio available to do the exercise and talk through 3/4’s of it.  But I was wrong.  I could do it.  I DID do it.

When I thought the wheels were falling off, it turned out to just be training wheels.  Sometimes the Sky Q does that.  Sometimes you are too locked into your own habits and thoughts that you fail to consider that you just may be ready, already.

Most sign off with “thanks for the opportunity to lead”.  I learned today to say, thanks for the expectation to lead.  Our F3 culture is such that I’m not allowed to stay under the radar.  I can’t just show up and take the efforts and thoughts of another without giving something in return.  While my giving may not be much now, I can feel my capacity to give growing each week.  And with that comes the expectation to give.  I couldn’t be more proud to be in the gloom with you brothers.


F3 Sanctuary – Thursday’s at Brooklyn Pizza in Wesley Chapel – 1930

Spartan Sprint – Sept. 10 – Fort Bragg

Spartan Beast & Sprint – Oct. 29 & 30 – Winnsboro, SC

C2 Survival (obstacle course) Race – Saturday, Sept. 17 – Camp Thunderbird (Lake Wylie)
A VERY family friendly OCR:
1 mile loop for kids 5 – 14
5k loop for ages 11+
There is an F3 / FiA group already in place.
If you’ve been wanting to share this gift of outdoor exercise with your family, this is the perfect event.
Price increase on 8/17!

Once beloved; now hated

When YHC Q’s, I throw out cadence counts.  Otherwise, we would likely get 1 exercise done in the 45 minutes while I try to catch my breath. So my modification is to play music the whole time and let the songs dictate the exercises and tempo.  I try to sell it as “work on your form” or “it’s just you against you today”.  I don’t know if anyone bought it.  If they did, they can still return it for a full refund when they Q.

Forgot to give the disclaimer, especially since there were 2 FNG’s, but I’m sure the rest of the PAX watched over them.

The template below is “Song” (Artist) <Time>: Exercises

The Warm Up:
“Devil Went Down to Georgia” (Charlie Daniels Band) <3:35>: Cotton Pickers / SSH / Mountain Climbers / SSH / Hillbilly Walkers / Moroccan Night Club /
The Mountain Climbers came for when the band of demons join in, because I always feel Mountain Climbers are the Devil’s work.

The Thang:

“Olympic Theme” (London Orchestra) <04:07>: Run to the buses.
Since I’m a perennial 6 with some blazing fast 12’s, I tried to diversify throughout to keep us together.  In this one, I told the 6’s to take the direct route, while the 12’s took the long way, so we would all arrive at the same time.  Because there were 30+ buses in the lot, I probably should have been more specific.

“School’s Out” (Alice Cooper) <3:30> AND
“Yakkity Sax [the Benny Hill theme song]” (Boots Randolph) <2:02>: Cheddar Jack weave with Carolina Dry Docks
About every 5 buses, there was a cone to do 5 Carolina Dry Docks.  I know there are some fast men here, but the likes of Dasher and Doc set a blistering pace through these buses.  They were done and crushing some LBC’s before the end of the first song!

“Till the Love Runs Out” (One Republic) <3:44> Run to the globe, slingshot back to the 6 (me), repeat.

“All Over the World” (ELO) <4:03> Helicopters / Lap around the Globe
Option 1 for the runners in the group – 1 Helicopter, 1 lap; 2 Helicopters, 2 laps…
Option 2 for the non-runners – 2 Helicopters, 1 lap; 4 Helicopters, 1 lap…
Helicopter = find a curb to do an incline merkin, rotate 90 for an offset merkin, rotate 90 for a derkin, rotate 90 for another offset merkin.

“Baby I’m a Star” (Prince) <4:24> run to the second alcove. While you wait for me, do some Balls to the Wall, maybe mix in some Hip Slappers or Peter Wall Parkers.  Nothing is stopping this crew!  No complaints (at least none that I can hear).  I’m carrying the speaker, so I can’t hear much of anything but the music.

“Off the Wall” (Michael Jackson) <4:05> People’s chair with air presses (or punches) on the verses / Donkey kicks on the chorus
Now, I could finally start to see some people slowing down.  I was wondering if this was going to challenge anyone other than myself.

“Band on the Run” (Foo Fighters [cover]) <2:51 [edited]> Run to the front of the school. Partner Hand Slap Merkins while you wait for me.

“Shout” (Isley Brothers) <4:28> Burpees on chorus / Supermans (verse 1) / Plank Jacks (verse 2) / Peter Parkers (verse 3) / Squats (“little bit softer now”) / Jump Squats (“little bit louder now”) / Lunge Jumps (“hey hey hey hey”) / Tuck Jumps (“jump up & shout it now”)
I did this one at my last Q, but I messed up the exercises & timing then.  I wanted to do it again for #PersonalRedemption.
At the end, Bottle Cap says, “I used to love ‘Animal House’!”  The tone was not nostalgic, but that I had somehow ruined a great melodic memory of his.

“Instant Karma” (John Lennon) <3:21> Run to the pain station in the front corner of the parking lot.

“Far From Over” (Frank Stallone) <3:28> Bear crawl slalom / Paint the Parking Lot / Merkin Ladder / Bunny Hops front to back & side to side
John Travolta is Doc’s favorite actor, so this one was for him.  Of course you remember him in the blockbuster “Stayin’ Alive”, the better-than-the-original-sequel to “Saturday Night Fever”.  Maybe you don’t.
Or maybe you remember the song from SNL? This was the only full skit I could find that wasn’t coming from Russia.

“Too Legit 2 Quit” (MC Hammer) <5:33> Heels to Heaven / Freddie Mercurys / Boat-Canoe / Rosalitas / Dying Cockroach / Dolly / LBC / Box Cutters / American Hammer / Flutters
Every time the song changed, we changed to the next exercise.  A glance around saw some had taken on a more restful pose (me included).  It was supposed to be 7 minutes of Mary, but even this felt like 2 minutes too long.  And this song is now on my Never Playlist.  But I’m keeping the pants.

One minute left to jailbreak back to the cars.

It felt like a better time management Q than my first one. #smallvictories
It also felt like I was on a chariot ride with all these freakishly fast Pax, but I had no reins; it was just point and go.
#WyldStallyns #leadingfromtheback

I was also grateful to the Pax for suspending the 2 visit rule for my best friend and FNG, Brantley, now named DOS.  He lives about 45 minutes away from Dromedary, so a second visit was unlikely.  We are now working on finding a site near him. #MissionaryFields

There was another FNG who DOES live near by and will be returning, so he gets his name next time.  Thanks to Bottle Cap for bringing him out!

I should have recorded these, but here’s what I remember.  Please flesh these out more in the comments section.

  • F3 Golf – proceeds help to fund LEAP program
  • F3 Dads – be a Dad and bring your kids
  • Sign Up to Q – please don’t make me do this again.  The 80’s do have a finite supply of songs.
  • Last day of Spartan discount – use code AMERICA for $20 off a Sprint; $30 off a Super; $40 off a Beast
  • Interested in doing a triathlon with me?

Posse Mixed Tape of Pain

Posted on Behalf of Posse:

I have cheated/modified virtually every exercise since starting F3 (7? months ago), and today would be no different as VQ.

First, there would be no cadence count, as I can barely answer the Q in a cadence count as a Pax.  In exchange for that allowance, I asked the Pax to repeat the exercise name as I said them, as we would be working out to music the whole time.  Oh, did I forget to mention that I was in band from 6th grade through college?  And the only formal athletic training I have done is being the lone male in the YMCA step aerobics classes.  So, with a few exceptions, here are songs I either played or listened to on the band bus.

Four minutes ahead of the start, began with “Top Gun Theme” (Harold Faltermeyer), just to set the stage of uncomfortable 80’s machismo.  Mumble chatter of Goose & Maverick let me know I hit a soft spot.


+ “Imperial March (Darth Vader theme)” (John Williams) 3:00
– Imperial Walkers / (Death) Starfish / Imperial Squat Walkers

+ “Stars & Stripes Forever” (John Phillip Sousa) 3:28
– SSH / flutters / merkins / LBC’s / merkins / SSH

+ “Rocky theme” 4:50
– American hammers / running 1 – 2 laps in teacher parking lot / P1 – WWII sit-ups while P2 holds P1’s feet; P2 does merkins simultaneously; flapjack / step ups or Rocky Balboa’s fake jump roping on the curb

> One time, at Commitment, Snowflake did this same P1 / P2 work <
The uncomfortability hit fast with this partner work.  There was some modification with P2 stepping on P1’s feet to avoid impropriety.

+ William Tell Overture 3:50 [Edited]
– mosey to front of school with benches; 12’s take the long way so we all arrive together (if other Q’s see me as a 6, I can see them [whom I greatly admire] as 12’s).  Find a bench.

+ “Toreadors” (from the opera Carmen) 2:14
– Derkins / Dips / Derkins / Step Ups / Derkins

The Thang

+ “Wake Me Up Inside” (Evanescence) 3:00 [Edited]
– pinball running to basketball court (pinball = if you get to a location before the last Pax does, turn around and run back to the last Pax; repeat until all are in)
> One time, at Commitment, Ice9 was my first Pinball Wizard <

+ “Flower” (Moby) 3:25
– from the Lexicon: ‘Start with your chest on the ground, and enjoy it because your chest shouldn’t touch the ground again until the song is over. When the song says “Bring Sally Up” the Pax will be in the ‘Merican up position, and “Bring Sally Down” the Pax will be in the ‘Merican down position. Pax will hold the down position until the next rep. It’s only 31 little reps in 3:25. Scale this workout to your fitness level: If you are fatigued, modify the ‘mericans by either doing chest to ground at the bottom, or take no shame and use your knees.’
> One time, at House of Pain (in Durham), Chachi introduced me to this song. <
> A couple of times, at Commitment, Popeye & Transporter did the same exercise to “Roxanne” (The Police).  I can no longer tell who I hate more. <

+ “Bitter Tears” (INXS) 3:51
– run to stone pile, pick a stone, get to sidewalk & do bench presses until all Pax are in.
‘Why does he keep calling it stone?  Aren’t these just rocks? Must be foreshadowing something…’
> One time, at Flash, Dasher did these; one of the few exercises I enjoy. <

+ “In the Stone” (Earth Wind & Fire) 4:25 ohhh…
– When it’s not muddy, we run the hill.  This time, its sidewalk time for squats on one end, run to the other end for curl to press.  Hold your stone, cause…

+ “Stone in Love” (Journey) 4:25 might be overdoing the theme here…
– bucket brigade reverse lunge / LBC’s with a stone on your chest / stone  overhead forward lunge / rock-right row / triceps extensions / bucket brigade reverse lunge
~ ironic that both stone songs are the exact same length
~ return stones to their families

+ Mosey to T intersection at sidewalk (too short of a distance for any music appreciation class)

+ “Shout” (Isley Brothers) 4:28
– burpees on chorus /
1st verse = supermans /
‘I want you to know’ = plank jacks /
‘Now waaaaaaiiiiiiiiit a minute’ = Peter Parker’s /
‘Little bit softer now’ = squats /
‘Little bit louder now’ = jump squats /
‘Hey hey hey’ = lunge jumps /

At this point, Frack pointed out that we were out of time.  I still had at least 10 more minutes of songs to spin, but I mismanaged the time.  And that’s a shame, because Doc was mocking me with John Travolta taunts.  Two songs from now, I would have had the last laugh (probably not).

So we had to make a jail break back to the parking lot.
+ “Shoot to Thrill” (AC-DC) 4:16 [edited]
We were close to the back of the school at this point.  Running is my kryptonite, so this didn’t end as I had hoped.

I have a Spartan quote on my vision board that says, “If it excites you and scares the crap out of you at the same time, it probably means you should do it.” When Dasher asked for someone to Q today, that quote immediately came to mind.  I responded first before I could reason myself out of it.

I appreciate the opportunity to lead an outstanding group of men, if only for 45 minutes.