14 Strong men mocked their internal alarm clock and appeared out of the Gloom for the traditional Monday morning beat down a/k/a The Matrix.
The Thang
Mosey for a warm up lap around the lower parking lot and back to the track. Shuffle down the straightaway and mosey through the turns. Complete one full lap and circle up in the infield for
SSH X 20
IW X 20
Mtn Climbers X 20
Low Slow Squat X 20
Partner up and meet in Turn 1
Prohibition pulled double duty as Partner 1 and crash test dummy when he was used to demonstrate many of the exercises
1st Called Exercise
Partner 1 assumes plank position while Partner 2 planks with feet on P1’s back. Called exercise was for P1 to perform merkins for 1 minute (60 short seconds). Jeers were heard almost immediately and YHC can only assume there was jellylubing happening as a result. An audible was called on exercise 1 shortening the merkins to 30 seconds. When time was called, both partners completed 1 lap around the track. Flapjack upon return and complete a lap when time was called.
2nd called exercise
P1 to plank and P2 to perform 25 balance lunges (each leg). Complete 1 lap when done.
Flapjack & complete a lap when done
3rd exercise
P1 in a plank while P2 performed 25 derkins (feet on back of P1). Complete 1 lap after 25 derkins
Flapjack & complete a lap when done
Regroup and head to school for People’s Chair.
P1 help People’s Chair while P2 planked with right arm high for 60 seconds. Flapjack when time was called
Rinse & Repeat except P2 planks with left arm high.
Active recovery = P1 performs 15 big boy sit-ups while P2 planks holding feet. Flapjack
All 14 men grabbed space on the wall for People’s Chair with 50 air presses (in cadence)
Mosey back to cars for Mary. YHC might have heard someone mention “that’s a lot of Mary”.
Wrapped up the beatdown with
25 flutter IC
25 merkins
25 Freddy Mercury
20 merkins
20 Dolly
15 merkins
20 LBC
20 merkins
20 Rosalita
25 merkins
Concluded the 1st F at 6:14 with Name-O-Rama
No Announcements
YHC had a praise that oldest daughter is recovering well after brain surgery on Feb 3.
Thanks to Squid for taking us out.
It was an honor to lead such a dedicated and determined group of men this morning.
The Pax eagerly pulled in the parking lot and waited for the clock to strike 5:30. Harley was nervous since I wore gloves and wasn’t sure if he needed any, but I assured everyone I only wore them because I have sensitive hands and I need to keep my hands soft for when my wife is out of town. A light bulb went off over Brown’s head when he heard that. It is really helpful to wear night gloves with hand cream to keep them soft. We took off with a mosey down to the narrow, dark street where the tennis courts are across from CDS. We circled up and made Alf really uncomfortable with the tight circle. I think he is claustrophobic.
COP:
20 SSH
20 IW
20 Merkins
Disclaimer given for the Pax to keep Brown quiet as we crossed Hwy 51 and headed over to Reid Hall Lane for some hills. Not sure if we had been there before, but we did a version of the triple nickel. Up and down 5 times with 20 monkey humpers at the bottom and 20 merkins up top. Plank at the bottom for the Pax when done.
Mosey back over to the first entrance off of Covenant Church Lane. Run down to the end of each parking row, and do 10 backward lunges on each leg. Gather back up at the front of the church. Mosey over to the benches next to the new playground for some Derkin/Dip fun. Start off with 10 military count derkins, then 10 dips. 9x of each, then 8x down to 1x. The cadence is called by a new Pax each time.
Back to the AO for the COM:
40 LBCs on your own.
10x Cross Leg Crunch each side
10x Toe Touches each side
10x Can Openers each side
Moleskin: I think Brown developed a hernia during the last part of the workout and so he asked someone to check if he coughed. Noone stepped up to the plate. Alf was worried we were going to sing Kumbaya when we circled up and then he was worried we were just wandering aimlessly the whole time. I think he thought we might not find our way back or something. Orange Whip enjoyed the new turf, and may steal some ideas for his Q next week. We determined Squid is dyslexic because he did forward lunges instead of backward. Harley’s girlfriend got up early to watch us perform the monkey humpers from her front porch. We looked like Magic Mike XL. Turkey Leg is a cyborg now that he has a knew brace, and apparently Horsehead has a toenail and couldn’t make it out.
Thanks Squid for the take out. And thanks HH and Bulldog for letting me lead.
Squid and I started off the morning taking a little offroad trip over to the block pile in my Ford to pick up 6 blocks for the Pax. I had a lot planned so I didn’t want to waste time with the Pax having to get their own blocks. We sat in the car with 5 minutes until launch, with no one in sight. I was worried it would just be the two of us. Then the Pax all showed up right before launch, with DK driving like Tony Stewart as he pulled into his parking spot. I didn’t know a Rav4 had that much power. Beaver asked if I had the Q, which I responded Yes. He looked devastated.
Disclaimer given.
COP:
20 SSH with deep stares
20 IW
20 Merkin
The Thang:
Partner up. 1 partner grab a block. Catch me if you can down Mckee, turn on Knox, then up Spring St to Tilley Morris. Partner 1 10 merkins while Partner 2 runs with block. When P1 catches P2, P2 does 20 curls while P1 planks. Then flapjack until you get to the entrance of neighborhood on Spring St. Drop your block. Cross over Tilley Morris to the neighborhood across the street.
Mosey to end of road for the fun.
First road. P1 runs around townhomes on the right side, P2 performs merkins until they get back. Flapjack. Then P1 runs around townhomes on the left side, while P2 does squats. Flapjack.
Second road. P1 runs around townhomes on the right side, P2 performs merkins. Flapjack. Then P1 runs around townhomes on the left side, while P2 does squats. Flapjack
Third road. P1 runs around townhomes on the right side, P2 performs monkey humpers. Flapjack. Then P1 runs around townhomes on the left side, while P2 does merkins. Flapjack.
Mosey through the neighborhood to the back entrance of the corporate park. Circle up for a merkin circle. 5 paces (L/R) then 5 merkins, 4 times.
partners take turns running around the building until each team hits 300 squats.
Then another merkin circle. 5 paces (L/R) then 5 merkins, 6 times.
Mosey back through neighborhood to pick up blocks. I made the mistake of letting Pax call out exercise of their choosing, with 20 reps of each. We had Carolina Dry Docks (Huggie), Spinning Jump Squats (Floorslapper), Burpees (Donkey Kong), and Flutter (Joker). Mosey down to get our blocks.
Catch me if you can back to AO. This time Partner with block does 20 shoulder press while other partner planks. Once at AO we had enough time for 50 LBCs.
Moleskin:
Glad everyone made it out. I wasn’t sure if my plan was going to work, but I think everyone enjoyed it. The mumble chatter was much appreciated. I guess payback is a bitch. Joker claims I made deep eye contact during the COP that made him really uncomfortable and it was if I was looking deep into his soul. Witch Doctor became the official time keeper because the Q can’t work his GPS watch. I might need to call Tim cook. Squid as usual impressed everyone with his perfect curl form, and apparently LBCs aren’t hard enough so he did the side (Suzanne Sommers) crunch. Show off. And Huggie was getting bored with the same exercises while we ran around the townhomes, so I granted his wish and called out monkey humpers to throw him off which helped FS found muscles he never knew he had. Floorslapper kept bragging about his new girlfriend that swam at UNC back in the 50s. And he made the comment that length is the most important thing in competitive swimming. I would have thought that would create drag for the men. Strange. Joker was completed disoriented when we ended up at the corporate park as if he had been blindfolded and dropped off as part of some fraternity prank. It blew his mind. And FS learned why wearing gloves was so important. He was lucky enough to plank walk during our merkin circle through my sweat that had dripped onto the pavement from my head. Now that is commitment. Donkey Kong certainly made us pay with his 20 burpees. Totally a Q fail. I won’t make that mistake again. Thanks Beaver for sticking with it even though I was the Q. I wasn’t sure if you were happy or mad when you found out I was leading the workout, but it was too late for you to make it anywhere else.
Announcements:
F3 5 year party March 5. AYN cookout at 4pm, March 5. SOB Balrog March 12.
Squid and I were ambushed (notified) this past Wednesday, that we had signed up to Q our first Stonehendge. Not sure we ever agreed to sign up, but Mr. Bean swore we did. I think we got hoodwinked.
Mosey over to the end of Brixham Hill Ave and circle up in the parking lot. Disclaimer given and some COP:
COP:
20 SSH
20 IW
20 Merkin
The Thang:
Run around the first row of parking spaces around the buildings, with 20 merkins at each speedbump. 80 total. Plank waiting for six. 40 LBCs OYO.
Run around the second row of parking spaces, with 20 merkins at each speedhump. 80 total. Plank waiting for six. 20 Flutters OYO.
Run around the third row of parking spaces, with 15 merkins at each speedhump. 90 total. Head over to front of the buildings for the second half.
Squid had everyone take a break from the running, and dealt some COM. The three exercises included: 10 side crunch on each side, 20 palms up half crunch, and 20 bent leg foot taps. 4 sets of each.
Then Squid handed out some gear for gear stations to bring some more pain. A few PAX got scared and left because they couldn’t handle Squid’s workouts. (Or they were going to Da Vinci to doubledown. I’m not sure which it was). Partner up, and find a station. Stations included burpees, merkin on the hand bars, shoulder raises with 20lb dumbbells, jump rope, chest press with a large rock, tricep extensions with the rubber band, wrist curls, curls with the 35lb kettlebell. Partner 1 run runs a lap around the center island, partner 2 performs station. Flapjack. Then move down a station.
Mosey back to the AO carrying all the gear. People were fighting over the jumprope and rubber band to carry back, but Haggis took the rock and said he wanted race. He ran faster with the rock then the Pax did empty handed.
Circle up for some more pain. Gorilla squats, and some low slow squats.
Moleskin:
As expected there was a lot of mumble chatter. That seems to happen a lot when I am on Q. Either the PAX is trying to distract me because they are scared of the pain, or I can’t get no respect like Rodney Dangerfield. It seems Strawberry is the ring leader every time. For that, I instructed Strawberry to do twice as many merkins on the last lap, half jokingly. For some reason Frehleys thought I was serious and did 30 at each speedbump. He gets a lot of extra credit, but Strawberry gets all the blame. However, Frehleys did have a hard time with my wife’s hand weights. He was ashamed that she can handle the 20lb weights, and he couldn’t. Keep working Frehleys. You will get it one day.
Squid and I tried to mix it up from the usual workout so we hope the Pax enjoyed it.
In honor of the All-Pro Panthers, we set off to honer their selection. Mosey around the school, disclaimer stated, and off we went.
COP:
20 SSH, 20 IW, 15 Merkin, 20 LSS
The Ryan.Kalil: #67
Line up, and suicide type run. Run to first bus parking stop, 5 merkins, back to the line. Run to the last bus parking spot, 5 merkins, back to the line. Run to the second parking spot, 5 merkins, and back, then to the second to last parking spot, 5 merkins, and back. Keeping going until you hit all 13 parking spots, then 2 extra merkins when done for 67 total.
The Cam Newton, #1
1 burpee
The Mike Tolbert: #35
Mosey to the first townhomes. Run down the main street, then down each side street for 5 merkins. Once you have run all 6 side streets, run back to the entrance for 5 more merkins. Total of 35.
The Greg Olsen, #88
Mosey down to the next townhomes, then down to the bottom of the entrance. Run around the oval lap, performing 22 merkins at each corner. 88 total.
The Thomas Davis, #58
Mosey over to the traffic circle. Run to the end of each road, 13 monkey humpers, then back to the circle. Once done with all roads, 6 more monkey humpers. 58 total
The Luke Keuchly, #59
Run to the end of each road, 13 merkins, then back to the circle. Once done with all roads, 7 more merkins. 59 total
The Kawann Short, #99
Mosey towards the entrance to the fountain for the next set. 33 dips, then down the road around the traffic circle. Repeato 3x for 99 total.
The Josh Norman, #24
8 derkins at the fountain, then down the road around the traffic circle. Repeato 3x for 24 total.
Indian run back to the AO for COM.
COM:
25 LBCs.
10 x Right leg cross crunch
10 x Left leg cross crunch
20 x Dolly
10 x Right leg can opener
10 x Left leg can opener
7 x Rocky Balboa Protractor
10 x Opposite toe taps
20 x Rosalitas
20 x Flutters
Moleskin:
Joker pulled a floor slapper and showed up late, wearing his below 20 degree gear. Apparently he didn’t know that there is a weather app and forgot to check it thisy morning. Luckily he didn’t overheat and pass out. Slapshot was thankful for the extra chest workout so he can impress the ladies at the YMCA pool this summer. Beaver impressed with his determination to the mileage and Uncle Leo was very concerned about the strange numbers that were called out for each exercise. He kept guessing what the numbers meant, until he was told whoever guessed the theme behind the numbers had to do a burpee. That silenced him quickly. I wasn’t sure how many miles we would get, but we got in 4.07 total, possible a new record for the site.
I pulled into the parking lot a little early since the monsoon made me rethink the flow of my workout. I was a little nervous since noone was there, and then the 3 dedicated PAX showed up. Dollywood admitted he got dressed, and then undressed and back in bed, then dressed again to make it out. Glad he did so we had even numbers.
Warmup
20xSSH
19xIW (I lost count)
10xMerkins
The Thang:
Find the one other PAX that has the same size bell. That was easy. P1 Farmer Carry to the front of the church while P2 does 20 Monkey Humpers. Flapjack as needed.
Stopped at the front of the church where the main entrance ends up at the front.
P1 runs up the hill to the main entrance while P2 does curls. Flapjack until duo hits 200.
Move over to one of the parking rows for set of suicides. Run to each median and perform 10 merkins, then back to the beginning for called exercises. Then run to next median. (I snuck in early to place a cone so the PAX knew where to stop.)
20xOverhead Presses
20xTricep Extensions
20xUpright Rows
20xSquats
20xMorning Afters
Back to the front of the church for another round of running the hill. This time run and flajack until you hit 200 two handed swings.
Now that we were soaked from the rain, head over to a covered area in front of the church so we could finish the punishment while staying dry. Each PAX called out a 20 count exercise followed up by a round of core exercises.
PopTart: 20 Curls, 20 LBCs
Fletch: 20 Snatches, 20 Flutter with KB Press
Dollywood: 20 Restacking the shelf(?), 10 x Right leg cross crunch, 10 x Left leg cross crunch
Freedom: (Stay on your six) 10 Behind Head Lift (?), 10 Presses, 10 BHL, 10 Presses. 20 Cheese Presses
PopTart: 10 Lawnmowers each arm, 10 x Right leg can opener, 10 x Left leg can opener
Fletch: 10 Clings each arm.
Mosey back to the AO as time was expiring.
Moleskin: I have been recovering from a terrible cough so still getting back in shape. Thanks to Fletch for picking up the slack, and Dollywood/Freedom pushing me to keep up. The holiday week and rain kept people in the fartsack, so thanks for the PAX that showed up. Luckily it wasn’t very cold, and the rain finally stopped when we were done.
Announcements:
Joe Davis Run
Watch out for convergence Xmas Eve and day after.
We started off with a mosey around the parking lot.
COP:
20 SSH
20 IW
20 Merkins
Light version of suicides.
Run to first parking line, and back for 20 two handed swings.
Run to second line, and back for 20 curls.
Run to curb and back for 20 presses.
Repeat with 30 reps each.
Then we circled up for a KB beatdown.
10 Louganis with KB
10 Russian twists
10 Bench Press
10 Good Mornings
20 Lawnmowers-each arm
20 Diamond Merkins
20 Snatches (10 each arm)
20 Carolina Dry Dock
30 Curls
30 Wide Arm Merkins
30 Tricep Extensions
30 Stepback Lunge, with kick (15 each leg)
40 Two Handed Swings
40 Merkins
40 Upright Presses
40 Squats
30 Curls
30 Wide Arm Merkins
30 Tricep Extensions
30 Stepback Lunge, with kick (15 each leg)
20 Lawnmowers-each arm
20 Diamond Merkins
20 Snatches (10 each arm)
20 Carolina Dry Dock
10 Louganis with KB
10 Russian Twists
10 Bench Press
10 Good Mornings
COM
50 LBCs OYO
10 x right leg can opener
10 x left leg can opener
This is my second gear Q and I hope I didn’t disappoint. The PAX seemed thrilled when we finally finished. Not sure if the order above is 100% accurate as I had to audible the order on the way back down to give myself some rest, but otherwise it was a full throttle beatdown.
Announcements: Skunkworks is back at CDS starting next week.
We had an even number and Floorslapper arrived on time, so we started off with a mosey around the front of the school over to the bus parking lot.
COP:
20 SSH
20 IW
20 Merkin
The Thang:
Head off campus towards Kuykendall to the townhouse neighborhood. In 4 years as an AO, the PAX has never ventured that way. Partner up and run to each side street. Once at the side street, Partner 1 runs to the end for 10 merkins, while Partner 2 performs squats. Flapjack. Continue down to the end of the main road and repeat on the way back. Total of 100 merkins. And since that wasn’t enough, 40 more merkins once we were done. Now we are at 180. Continue down McKee to the next Townhouse neighborhood to the front median. Partner run runs down to the bottom of the hill, while partner 2 performs backward lunge with a forward kick. 200 total per team. Then same concept, but run down to and around the traffic circle back to the top. Partner 2 performs merkins. 200 total per team. Now each PAX is at 280. “Catch Me if You Can” all the way back to the AO. Partner 1 runs, Partner 2 performs 5 Diamond Merkins. Once at the AO, hit the wall for some people’s chair. Extend arms and each PAX calls out a 10 count all the way down the line. Next, head over to the playground.
10 pullups
20 merkins
30 dips.
Repeato
Now each PAX is at 340 merkins.
Circle up for some ab work.
50 LBCs OYO.
10 x Right leg cross crunch
10 x Left leg cross crunch
20 x Flutter
10 x Opposite toe taps
Protractor. Each PAX calls out a degree around the circle.
10 x Right leg can opener
10 x Left leg can opener
25 Merkins OYO
365+ Merkins total
Moleskin:
At some point I lost count, but according to Lobster Roll, we hit 400 merkins. And since he is the merkin king, I will take his word for it. That is why we finished with 25 to hit 400. There was a lot of mumblechatter coming from behind me during COM, and I am pretty sure it was Joker and Cold Cuts. Not sure what they were saying, but I think it had something to do with a ladys’ exercise. I guess they couldn’t handle the exercises I called out, so they were doing something that Suzanne Somers came up with. Maybe the thigh master? And congrats to Floorslapper for being on time. I think that was a first. And we also determined that O’T is a visual learner, and apparently had to go to work this morning. I didn’t realize he worked on the weekends. And the quote of the morning “So you are saying i have a chance”?
Announcements:
Mud Run sign ups end Sept 12.
We started off with a mosey down to the parking lot in front of Calvary off of 51.
COP:
20 SSH
20 IW
15 Merkins
20 Low Slow Squats
The Thang:
Line up at one end of parking lot and run to the other end, dropping for 10 merkins at every median. 80 total. Plank up when done.
50 LBCs OYO
10 Backwards lunge with leg kick on each leg
Repeat merkin challenge back to the other end of the parking lot. 80 more.
Line up for an Indian run from the parking lot across front of Calvary over to the front of the library across the street on Rea Rd.
25 Monkey Humpers, then one lap. Repeato.
50 LBCs OYO
25 Merkins, then one lap. Repeato.
Plank
Indian run down 51 to William R. Davie park playground. Sets of 10 pullups, 20 merkins and 30 dips. Run lap around parking lot. Repeato 3x.
50 LBCs OYO.
Run at our pace back to AO for some COM.
20 x Flutters
10 x Right leg cross crunch
10 x Left leg cross crunch
10x Opposite toe taps
10 x Right leg can opener
10 x Left leg can opener
Moleskin:
Hopper and Gummie were crazy enough to ask me to come out and lead the workout. Not sure what the PAX thought, but I really enjoyed the chance to lead. I was told no burpees, and at least 2-3 miles. Well, we got in 3.83 miles, so we meet that goal, and instead of burpees we got in 300 merkins. I had not had a chance to workout with this crew before, except Harley, so Abba, Backdraft and Harley decided to show off and lead most of the laps we did throughout the morning. Tootie and Backdraft reminisced about their Rugby Glory days, and Tootie kept talking about how bad the BRR is gonna suck, and is already trying to get out of it by hoping is wife is in labor before the race. Maybe I will see some of you at the Spartan Sprint at Ft Bragg next month.
Announcements:
Mud Run sign ups end Sept 12.
Oct 4: Whitewater Center is having a Bushwacker run to commemorate the 22 year anniversary of the Somalian conflict that inspired the movie Black Hawk Down. An Army Ranger from the conflict and Dredd will be giving some speeches after the run. Come out for a crazy run, fun, and beer.
We started off with a mosey down to the parking lot in front of HT.
COP:
20 Merkins
20 IW
20 Low Slow Squats
20 SSH
10 Merkins
The Thang:
Line up on the curb in front the shopping center where the HT is located. 20 merkins at each parallel parking lot strip and plank at the end. Total of 100 merkins. On your 6 for 20 flutters. Line up on next curb and 5 merkins at each parking strip to the end where the parking lot drive cuts through. 40 more merkins. On your 6 for some LBC work.
Mosey over to Chick Fil A parking lot. Partner up. Partner 1 runs around CFA, Partner 2 performs backwards lunge with forward kick. Flapjack. Continue until total is 100. Then, Partner 1 runs around CFA, Partner 2 performs squat. Flapjack. Continue until total is 200.
Mosey over to the front of St Matthews Catholic Church. Run around church performing 5 merkins at each speedhump. Total of 50 merkins.
Catch me if you can on the way back to the AO. Find your partner and Partner 1 runs, Partner 2 performs 5 Monkey Humpers.
COM
40 x LBC
15 x right leg can opener
15 x left leg can opener
Moleskin:
I just can’t resist finding a way to use the speedhumps for some merkin intervals. Heartbreak carbo loaded on beer the night before. I am not sure those are the right kind of carbs. We finished up running at least 2.25 miles and a total of 250 merkins. Impressed with the hard work of Philmont and Torpedo. Cold cuts and Tuck continue to show how manly they are with their merkin abilities. And thanks Floppy Disk for dropping by from Lexington, SC. That sure is a long drive just to post. You must have heard about how much I like merkins. And did anyone else notice that Heartbreaker was wearing an undershirt to the workout? I wonder if he was going to put his dress shirt on and head straight to work. He must not like his coworkers.
Announcements:
Mud Run sign ups about to start.